40 réponses à ce sujet

[Firky]

Thankyou for venturing into my thread. Herein lies a fraction of the dialogue I wrote for an NPC companion named Andrei. I will provide more in short, sequential posts. Andrei is Tranquil and found in the Tower after freeing it.

Why haven't I modded him into the game? Have you used the Toolset? Although I have become quite good with the conversation editor, I don't even know where to start.

Nevertheless, Andrei needs a good home and I can't think of a better place than here. If there is a more supportive and knowledgable Dragon Age creations community I am yet to find it. So, here is the first bunch of selected dialogue and banter.

Please note: Although for player dialogue I have written several responses, for the purposes of this, I have simply named the player Aedan (by human noble default) and picked logical responses for him.

(Also, thanks BioWare for the amazing IP and telling us so little about the Tranquil - which is why I am obsessed with them. Be warned, I have made a lot of stuff about the Tranquil up.)

I would love feedback. Constructive is great. Please correct me on points of lore or anything else.


Talking to Irving after freeing the Tower.

 
First Enchanter Irving: Before you take your leave, may I introduce you to Andrei? He serves the Circle well, but has also proven to be an exceptional marksman.
Aedan: He is Tranquil, is he not?
First Enchanter Irving: He is, and as such, I am guessing his unwavering concentration in battle would be a sight to behold.
Aedan: You’re guessing? Where was this marksman when the abominations were loose?
First Enchanter Irving: On my order, he was attending to his duties in the storeroom.
Wynne: Odd that we did not happen across him there.
First Enchanter Irving: I’m sure it was a difficult and confusing experience for you all, Wynne.
Aedan: You are suggesting this Tranquil accompany us?
Wynne: Is this wise, Irving? Granted, I have also seen his arrows hit their mark in spectacular fashion in the training arena, but is taking him with us really in anyone’s best interest?
First Enchanter Irving: I am simply making the Grey Wardens aware of his exceptional abilities as an archer, should you have need of such help.
Aedan: Do you wish to accompany me, Andrei?
Andrei: I would serve you as I would serve the Circle.
Aedan: Would a Tranquil defend himself in battle?
Alistair: More to the point, would we have to defend him?
First Enchanter Irving: What do you say, Andrei?
Andrei: I am not afraid of death.
Aedan: Fearlessness does have its uses, I suppose. We will take the Tranquil with us.
First Enchanter Irving: This is a wise decision. My fond wishes go with you, Andrei, my son. May you prove as worthy in service to the Grey Wardens as you have been to the Circle.
Andrei: Farewell.
Aedan: Please try not to get killed.
Andrei: I will serve you as I am able.

 

Andrei is a companion for Dragon Age Origins. He is able to access all skills. He is only able to access Archery
talents. He can access no specialisations.

 


Early banter.

Wynne: Andrei.
Andrei: Is there something you require?
Wynne: No, Andrei. I was simply offering a greeting.
Andrei: Wynne.
Wynne: May your journey with us be easy.
Andrei: And yours.

 
Early banter.

Leliana: You are a strange creature.
Andrei: Is there something you require?
Leliana: No. I’m ... curious. What does it feel like ... to be you?
Andrei: I now serve the Grey Wardens. My aim is true and my enchantments are strong.
Leliana: But what I mean is ... don’t you ever get ...? Well, you have lost so much and yet you seem so ... Now words are lost to me. Ha ha. You are indeed a strange creature.
Andrei: In one another’s eyes, we are all strange.
Leliana: I ... apologize. I was being impolite.


Initiating early conversation with Andrei.
 
Andrei: Is there something you require?
Aedan: What is it like being Tranquil?
Andrei: Many have asked me this question. I no longer feel, yet I remain.
Aedan: Remain what exactly?
Andrei: I am Andrei.
Aedan: And yet you feel nothing, fear nothing?
Andrei: I remember fear but feel nothing.
Aedan: How do you expect to stay alive in battle without fear?
Andrei: I will strike at the closest or most dangerous enemy. If I am cornered, I will run.
Aedan: That sounds sensible, I suppose. Can you aid our cause in any other way?
Andrei: I am an adept enchanter.
Aedan: I will keep that in mind. Is there anything you require?
Andrei: Food, water and shelter. I am here to serve.
Aedan:  I will remember that.

 
Early banter.

Oghren: Don’t talk much, do you?
Andrei: Is there something you require?
Oghren: Oh no, no. Just out for an evening walk.
Andrei: (remains silent)
Oghren: Thunderhumper!
Andrei: Do you require assistance?
Oghren: Stubbed me toe on this rock, didn’t I?
Andrei: I will fetch your boots.
Oghren: Tranquil, you’re like a wife only more caring.

 
Early banter.

Sandal: Enchantment?
Andrei: It is impressive.
Sandal: Enchantment.
Andrei: I will assist you.

 
Early banter.

Sten: I see you, Tranquil.
Andrei: Is there something you require?
Sten: You are a frightening creature.
Andrei: I have never seen a qunari before. May I sketch your anatomy?
Sten: Keep your distance.
Andrei: Are you sure, qunari? (smiles)
Sten: One step closer and your anatomy will be missing a skull.

Modifié par Firky, 26 août 2010 - 09:19 .

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

Nice start! I must admit the idea of an archer that never gets scared and just 'does its job' is an interesting one. Not wanting to die and being *afraid* of death are different things. But now I'm wondering if the friend-o-meter of DA:O would even apply to a Tranquil as they can't feel hostility or affection.



I think Alistair's comment near the start "More to the point..." made me snigger the most. Definitely feels like something he'd say.



Sten is making me wonder if the qunari have any Tranquil...I'm guessing not (supposedly they use mages like attack dogs...not to be confused with how Fereldens train mabari). They hate wasting resources (mages are useful), but they go to cruel lengths to ensure mages can't harm anyone unless ordered to. Where does this put Andrei in Sten's eyes?

[Firky]

Brilliant, SoL. I was hoping to stimulate speculation and excellent questions raised. I'm trying to tell his story only through dialogue. I want to evaluate how successful I am at the end - how much was discerned about Andrei's nature.

[FutileSine]

Oooh...I like this little bit of lore you developed - having Tranquils not only be skilled enchanters but have them also train in the battle arts is interesting- especially when you consider the codex found in the tower about how some mage was starting up weapons training in the Templars quarters I think...so it definitely fits that way.



Or is Andrei suppose to be an exception in that perhaps he was an archer- maybe he came to the Tower late and had already learned the basics of archery....and its just something that he has continued doing? So many questions....I can't wait to see how this/he develops (do Tranquil really develop? Can people grow without emotions?)

[Firky]

Thanks for reading. Good questions. I'm not going to discuss it with you or I will give away all of the secrets to come.

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

Futile - I'm not basing this off lore, but I'm assuming they *can* learn and at least develop in a professional sense...unless, as was brought up in the FF Sucks thread a while back, Tranquil somehow automatically *know* how to do all their enchanting and stuff.

At the moment I'm imagining a 'learning computer': its programming can become more complex and enable it to do more things and respond appropriately, but there's no emotion behind what it does. It acts the way it does because that's how it's learned or been told it should.

Firky - I'll be interested to see what else you have coming

Edit: Any questions I post are hereby rhetorical!

Modifié par Shadow of Light Dragon, 24 août 2010 - 10:44 .

[TanithAeyrs]

Well done Firky. I am intrigued by the idea of a Tranquil NPC. I also wonder how much personal growth a character like that is capable of, but he could make a fine foil for growth of other characters. Please keep going.

[DragonRacer13]

TanithAeyrs wrote...

Well done Firky. I am intrigued by the idea of a Tranquil NPC. I also wonder how much personal growth a character like that is capable of, but he could make a fine foil for growth of other characters. Please keep going.

It's definitely an intriguing concept. Since there's not a whole lot documented on the Tranquil, it gives Firky room to play. But how he/she plays it will, obviously, affect the growth, in my opinion. For me, personally, I could almost draw a comparison between a Tranquil NPC "growing" in the same way Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation grows... you've got a character that is devoid of any human emotion (Data being an android) but full of logic and intellect, who tries to learn how to be human, how to recognize the various emotions and which ones are appropriate for which situations, etc.

I could be wildly off-base and that could be nowhere near the direction Firky has for the character. But I wanted to throw that out there as a potential "growth" course, since on the surface it would seem not much could be done with a Tranquil.

[mousestalker]

It's a great concept, but the thread has the wrong name. It really should be called "My Dinner with Andrei"

[Firky]

Thanks for reading, all. Here is the second collection.

Two

Brecilian Forest related banter

Wynne: Andrei.
Andrei: Wynne.
Wynne: If you see elfroot, I could use some.
Andrei: I will keep watch for it.


Brecilian Forest related banter

Morrigan: This forest hides us. Not that you require hiding.
Andrei: Do you require assistance hiding?
Morrigan: Oh, I think I can handle any Templar coming to hunt me.
Andrei: Allowing magic unchecked is a risk to all.
Morrigan: I suppose you would think so, but what is life without a little excitement?
Andrei: Perhaps you know less about risk than you claim.
Morrigan: Indeed, and what could a Tranquil possibly have to say on the subject of risk?
Andrei: Only that. Is there something else you require?
Morrigan: Perhaps a reminder, next time, that talking to you is an exercise in pointlessness?


Brecilian Forest related banter

Leliana: Andrei, what are you doing? Is that a sketch? But it is so beautiful. And intricate. And accurate.
Andrei: Idle hands need focus. And so, when unoccupied, I sketch.
Leliana: I am very moved by this work of art. In all of Orlais, I never saw such a striking representation of the Brecilian Forest. It is both lovely and perfect.
Andrei: When it is completed, you can have it.
Leliana: But you would give away hours of labour so willingly?
Andrei: Idle hands need focus.
Leliana: I ... I will treasure it.


Spider encounter related banter

Oghren: I have noticed you are not fond of spiders, my friend.
Andrei: I do not understand.
Oghren: I saw you staring at that giant, hairy monster long after its head was safely sliced off. By me, I might add.
Andrei: They ... I am ... My aim is confused by their many legs.
Oghren: Ha. Next time, I will make it my priority to chop off a few legs for you.
Andrei: I will not graze you with my arrows.
Oghren: Oh, you are a true friend. A toast. May your arrows always fly true, whistling in my hair, not sticking from my skull.

 
Follow on banter

Morrigan: Now I am curious? Why were you made Tranquil? Too powerful? Not powerful enough? Just a martyr for the cause?
Andrei: I will remind you that you believe talking to me is an exercise in pointlessness.
Morrigan: Tranquil. I command you to answer the question.
Wynne: Morrigan. I must ask that you desist. You cannot command Andrei this way.
Morrigan: Indeed. And Mages of the Circle do not?
Wynne: I would ask you to treat him as any other person here. That is all.


More player dialogue

Andrei: Is there something you require?
Aedan: Why were you made Tranquil?
Andrei: Allowing magic unchecked is a risk to all.
Aedan: Were you dangerous?
Andrei: I was.
Aedan: From what I have seen in battle, you are still dangerous.
Andrei: It is different. I have full control over the bow’s power.
Aedan: I see.


After seeing werewolves

Wynne: This manifestation of the rage demon is a sight to behold, is it not?
Andrei: It is.

 
Banter

Sten: What are you looking at?
Andrei: Why have you no horns?
Sten: Does being what you are also remove the ability to sense mortal danger?
Andrei: (smiles)
Sten: Why are you talking to me, foolish creature?
Andrei: I would sketch your anatomy for my records.
Sten: Were it not for our common cause, your records would lay trampled in the earth and stained with your blood.
Andrei: (smiles)
Sten: Our common cause may yet prove insufficient to stay my sword.

Modifié par Firky, 26 août 2010 - 09:17 .

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

Creepy Tranquil smile is creepy...



Hm. Looking forward to seeing if there will be more elaboration on what events led to Andrei being made Tranquil.



And speaking of treating people equally, I've love to see Wynne tell Morrigan to keep an eye out for elfroot. XD

[Miri1984]

This is fabulous Firky. Having seen a taste of it in the FF thread I am now completely addicted. Your Morrigan is great as well. Keep it up - I'm hooked!

[Firky]

Thanks all. Here is the 3rd installment. I have finally finished weeding it all out and putting it into 5 episodes. Expect the 4th tomorrow. The 5th is short but to the point. I greatly appreciate your feedback. It helped me to grab the important bits and gauge how I am doing at stripteasing his secrets.


Three

Battle related banter

Leliana: I saw you in the aftermath of that ambush. Your hand was shaking.
Andrei: It may have been.
Leliana: But you do not feel fear.
Andrei: My weapon becomes heavy after a time.
Leliana: There was a giant spider baring down on you. To not feel afraid under these circumstances would be ... inhuman.
Andrei: Do you doubt I can protect myself?
Leliana: I was afraid for you, I suppose. Please take care, Andrei.
Andrei: I do not fear death.
Leliana: That is why I am concerned for your safety.


Banter

Morrigan: Tranquil.
Andrei: Apostate.
Morrigan: (laughs)


More battle related banter

Wynne: Andrei. You must take greater care.
Andrei: Is there something you require?
Wynne: Your services to the group are proving invaluable. We cannot afford to lose you now.
Andrei: I understand.
Wynne: Do you understand? You have a history of recklessness that I must now consider.
Andrei: I am not compelled to perform any acts of recklessness.
Wynne: Nonetheless, walk with me so we can discuss how to better keep you safe in battle.


Banter

Leliana: You are sketching me.
Andrei: Indeed.
Leliana: Why are you sketching me?
Andrei: Idle hands.
Leliana: How very intriguing.
Andrei: I should return to it.
Leliana: Should I perhaps pose for you? I could look this way. Smile, perhaps?
Andrei: There is no need to pose. I can accurately recall your face and your figure from memory.
Leliana: Indeed?


Cutscene

Oghren: Hey, Andrei. Hur hur. (jumps out wearing two pairs of pantaloons on his head)
Wynne: Oghren. What are you doing?
Oghren: Just messing. My buddy and I have a running joke about spider’s legs. Look at me, Andrei, I’m a spider.
Wynne: You will show Andrei more respect. Besides, I fail to see how you expect to frighten a ... well, Andrei.
Oghren: Ah, sorry buddy. (removes the pantaloons)
Wynne: And Andrei. You would be wise to carefully consider with whom you hold council on matters of importance.


Banter

Morrigan: It was blood magic, wasn’t it?
Andre: Is there something you require?
Morrigan: You were practicing blood magic and they caught you.
Andre: No.
Morrigan: A small pinprick to enhance your ability perhaps?
Andre: I have never attempted blood magic.
Morrigan: No, no. I suppose not.


Banter

Zevran: Hello, Andrei.
Andrei: Is there something you require?
Zevran: I am interested to know if you still feel ... desire?
Andrei: Of course you are.
Zevran: Well, I was not expecting you to say that.
Andrei: Do you imagine you are the first who has asked?
Zevran: Well I did imagine so, but you are an attractive man, after all.
Andrei: An attractive man who will hurt you if you come one step closer.
Zevran: You will? But, you misunderstand me, Andrei. It was merely a passing question.
Andrei: Consider this a warning.
Zevran: I will.


Banter

Sten: Why are you really looking at me?
Andrei: Anatomy.
Sten: I may not know much about your Tranquil but I never imagined one could lie.
Andrei: You remind me of my father.
Sten: I presume this person was not qunari.
Andrei: No, he was tall.
Sten: And?
Andrei: And cruel.
Sten: Perhaps your weakness disgusted him.
Andrei: Perhaps it is your shame that so conjures his memory when I see you.
Sten: Still, this is no reason to look at me so. I am not this person.
Andrei: That is true. I will cast my gaze elsewhere.
Sten: Good.


Banter

Leliana: Is your sketch of me completed?
Andrei: It is.
Leliana: May I see it?
Andrei: I will fetch it.
Leliana: What do you feel now, Andrei?
Andrei: I feel your hand touching my face.
Leliana: Close your eyes. And you feel nothing more than pressure and skin?
Andrei: Is there more to feel in this moment than pressure and skin?
Leliana: You have your memories. You must know there is more to feel in this moment.
Andrei: I have no memory that matches this.
Leliana: Where are you going?
Andrei: Idle hands. (leaves)
Leliana: Thank you for this beautiful sketch. You have made me look ... well, you made me ... you are gone. Thank you.

Modifié par Firky, 26 août 2010 - 09:18 .

[FutileSine]

Awww, Leliana!



And I love the common thread of Andrei looking at Sten for anatomical reasons.



You really have the characters down pat - well done!

[Greifvogel]

I've been following this and have enjoyed it. Looking forward for more.

[DragonRacer13]

Loving the idle hands banter with Leliana. The sniping with Morrigan is great, too.

[Firky]

Thanks all. Nearly there. This is the last large installment. The remaining one will just be a conversation and an epilogue.


Four

Banter

Alistair: Andrei.
Andrei: Alistair.
Alistair: Could you help me ... remove this ... helmet. Why my head always swells up after a day of walking I will never know.
Andrei: Bend down and I will brace my foot against your knee.
Alistair: Ow ... ow.
Andrei: Your helmet.
Alistair: Thank you.


Banter

Zevran: Leliana, people are noticing the eyes you are making at the Tranquil.
Leliana: Eyes? Don’t be ridiculous.
Zevran: I am not judging you. He is a beautiful creature, is he not?
Leliana: Are you sure you are not making eyes yourself?
Zevran: I wish to caution you. Your attentions are dangerous.
Leliana: How is a Tranquil dangerous in any way?
Zevran: That is precisely what I would like to know.


Banter

Oghren: Will you join me in a drink, my friend?
Andrei: Is there something you require?
Oghren: Other than your robust company on this fine evening? No.
Andrei: I will decline.
Oghren: Can ... your sort ... not hold their liquor then? I remember the time a young one danced her pretty ass out of the tavern and into the proving arena after a mere dozen pints. She danced circles around three opponents until finally ... well, never mind that.
Andrei: Do you require me to dance?
Oghren: Well, I’ll be. I could have sworn that was a joke. From the mouth of ... one of your sort. Perhaps it is time to call it a night.


For the purposes of this collection of conversations, please assume Aedan is romancing Leliana.

Andrei: Is there something you require?
Aedan: I believe we are in competition, you and I.
Andrei: I do not understand.
Aedan: That was a pretty sketch you made of Leliana.
Andrei: Would you like me to sketch you?
Aedan: I would like you to tell me what your intentions are towards Leliana.
Andrei: When my hands are idle, I sketch.
Aedan: Why sketch her?
Andrei: Who would you like me to sketch?
Aedan: I will make this very clear. Do you have romantic intentions towards Leliana?
Andrei: I am Tranquil.
Aedan: And yet, I will ask again. Do you have romantic intentions towards Leliana?
Andrei: A man like myself would not deserve a Leliana. Her attentions will always be reserved for one who can love her back. A man like you, who has had nothing taken from him, could not possibly understand this.
Aedan: Of course. I ... apologize.


A conversation with Wynne

Aedan: You have spent time with the Tranquil. Tell me, do they get depressed?
Wynne: Well, no, the Tranquil don’t feel emotions at all. Of course, being the way they are, it is easy to imagine they are sullen or low.
Aedan: But they don’t feel, say, worthless?
Wynne: Worthless? Why should they? The Tranquil are content to serve. You are referring to Andrei, I assume.
Aedan: Sometimes what he says seems ... inconsistent.
Wynne: Indeed. He may no longer feel his past but he remembers it clearly. He had ... difficulties growing up.
Aedan: What do you mean?
Wynne: That is none of your concern. Pay what he says no mind.


Banter

Sandal: Enchantment.
Andrei: Sandal.


Banter

Leliana: Do you believe it is possible to truly love just one person, Andrei?
Andrei: I know little about love.
Leliana: But you remember love. You must have seen lovers. Were you in love?
Andrei: I cannot recall a woman who wanted me.
Leliana: Really? But you are so ...
Andrei: The girls in my village desired money, livestock and a steady hand before a pretty face.
Leliana: I see. But in the tower ...?
Andrei: ... matters of the heart were far from my mind.
Leliana: This is so sad.


Cutscene

Wynne: Andrei, tell me again about your experiences as a child.
Andrei: You already know everything about me.
Wynne: Yes, but we spoke about these matters when you were still a boy, and that was also before ...
Andrei: No detail has changed.
Wynne: No, but your perception of events has and I am interested.
Andrei: (silence)
Wynne: Are you refusing my request?
Oghren: Are you monopolizing my drinking buddy there, wise mage? I would like him back now. There is some ale that requires our attention.
Wynne: Tranquil don’t drink.
Oghren: Not if I have any say in the matter.
Wynne: We can continue our discussion at a later stage. (leaves)
Oghren: You owe me one, buddy.


Banter

Andrei: Now it is you who is looking at me.
Sten: What cruelty did your father perform?
Andrei: With one strike of his axe, my father beheaded a farm animal I loved.
Sten: Did he have a reason for doing so?
Andrei: My actions shamed him.
Sten: Why did you tell me?
Andrei: You were right. The Tranquil are truthful people.
Sten: And the qunari are good secret keepers.


Cutscene: Andrei is holding a sketch of a man who resembles Sten. A single tear falls from his eye and onto the sketch.

Aedan: You aren’t really Tranquil are you?
Andrei: For a long time I believed I was.
Aedan: How can you not know?
Andrei: After the Rite I felt .. calmer. Less in pain. I was expecting the Rite to bring me relief. I wanted relief from my pain so badly, perhaps I imagined it.
Aedan: And you didn’t feel at all ... magical?
Andrei: Why would I try to cast after the Rite? I didn’t ask anyone what was normal but I did begin to suspect I was different from other Tranquil, that is true.
Aedan: Can the Rite of Tranquility be ineffective?
Andrei: It should be failsafe. I was truly shocked when magic manifested in me once more.
Aedan: Did you cast involuntarily?
Andrei: My best guess is that the Rite was ineffective because I never truly believed I deserved relief from my pain. My “involuntary cast”, as you call it, is proof of that.
Aedan: What happened?
Andrei: It is not important now except to say that a man who views Tranquil women as playthings ... still deserves a better death.
Aedan: Who else knows about this?
Andrei: Three people. One is dead, charred remains. Another will never tell. With the third I exchanged promises.
Aedan: What did you promise to do?
Andrei: If you keep my secret a little longer, I will follow you into battle against the Archdemon. You will find that I am a powerful caster and that every spell in the Primal school is at my disposal.
Aedan: And if I tell?
Andrei: Then you will not see me again.
Aedan: I understand.


Cutscene

Leliana: I am told you will accompany us to fight the Archdemon.
Andrei: I will.
Leliana: While I am grateful, your presence in battle is ... reassuring, I am afraid for you.
Andrei: Do not be.
Leliana: I am glad you cannot share my terror as the battle approaches.
Andrei: There is no need to fear. My arrows will quickly find any creature that attempts to harm you, Leliana. And if things do not go in my favour, do not feel sad for me. I am not afraid.
Leliana: If things do not go in your favour, I will miss you more than you can know. That is the true sadness, Andrei.
Andrei: Just keep my sketches close. For luck.
Leliana: They are always with me.

Modifié par Firky, 26 août 2010 - 09:39 .

[Firky]

Oh crap. Why is there no clean paste? Sorry.

Also, a quick question. Did I accidentally plagiarise this?

"Oghren: Can ... your sort ... not hold their liquor then? I remember the time a young one danced her pretty ass out of the tavern and into the proving arena after a mere dozen pints. She danced circles around three opponents until finally ... well, never mind that."

I didn't mean to, but there is so much dialogue in DAO I may have heard it, forgotten it and then thought I made it up myself.

Modifié par Firky, 26 août 2010 - 02:16 .

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

I almost plagiarised Zevran's "I'm all ears, as we elves like to say," once. I was sad when I realised it had already been done. XD I don't know if I'd heard it before or not...it just felt like a natural thing to write at the time.



So did Andrei kill his father? Severely wound him? Hmmm...

[Firky]

Good questions.



You remember the question I asked in the fan fiction thread though, don't you SoL? Miri mentioned that too. D'Oh. (facepalm) I only remembered I had asked it after the first post. Did you already know he wasn't Tranquil? I was hoping to get some feedback about this revelation and if it was believeable.

[TanithAeyrs]

Andrei is such a sad character, and you have written some brilliant dialog for him. Glad you are sharing this.

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

I do remember the discussion a little while back about how effective the Tranquil ritual was, and if there was a way for someone to not fully succumb to it. But I didn't know if you'd be trying this here, going for a full Tranquil NPC or trying something else.

[Firky]

I did try for a full Tranquil but it was really difficult - and a little pointless.

Anyway - here is the final bit.


Five

In the final battle, Andrei retains all of his archery talents and can now access every spell in the primal school. A separate mana bar is necessary? Or perhaps some variation on Arcane Warrior. His stats, previously showing 0 magic, must also be updated. Leliana’s two sketches can now be equipped providing bonuses to defense and magic resistance.


Cutscene, immediately after the final battle.

Leliana: Andrei. You used magic. I saw you. Against the darkspawn. Admit it. How else could fire spring from your bare hands?
Alistair: Yes, he used magic. It was plainly obvious to everyone, wasn’t it?
Leliana: But that means ...
Andrei: ... that I am not Tranquil.
Leliana: We were ... I asked you ... You made that sketch.
Andrei: My hands were idle.
Leliana: Do you really want to perpetuate your lie now?
Andrei: No. I sketched you because you are a beautiful woman.
Leliana: I am now of a mind that inner beauty is more valuable. And you are now revealed to all as a vile monster. What ... what game were you playing?
Andrei: Perhaps I was merely playing along with your game.
Leliana: That is unfair. You ... impostor, charlatan.
Andrei: Perhaps I am. But what kind of a woman places hands on a Tranquil in that way? I may not be Tranquil, but I lived amoung them long enough ...
Leliana: Seduction? My ... attentions were out of kindness. That you thought ...
Zevran: I am guessing he did. I believe I warned you of this.
Leliana: A real Tranquil would have more chance of understanding how furious I am than either of you. I hope I never see you again, “Tranquil”.
Andrei: You will not.
Leliana: (leaves)
Oghren: Andrei, you devil. I don’t know what to make of you now. I have half a mind to go and fetch the biggest spider I can find and place it down the back of your armour.
Wynne: Quiet, Oghren. How did this happen? I demand to know.
Andrei: The prison fashioned from my own remorse was worse than any you could inflict on me, Mage. That is one detail you neglected to document. And I no longer submit to the demands of anyone.
Wynne: How dare you?
Zevran: Leave him be, Wynne.
Andrei: I have kept an important promise and made amends. I make no apologies for my actions. (leaves)


This is the ending which fits with Aeden’s choices.

Epilogue:
“Andrei”, true to his word, was never seen again. Although he was instrumental in defeating the Archdemon, his deception caused a furor within Kinloch Hold. No mage, no matter how senior, was spared interrogation and a vigorous search was conducted to find the Tranquil impostor.

On a quiet, dusty road, a young girl found a drawing of a beautiful woman which she took home to admire. In the following years, people remarked on the girl’s many, and surprising, moments of good fortune. Similar drawings were pinned above beds in a dorm of Kinloch Hold, where women slept without fear.

Elsewhere, and some time later, a young man arrived in a small village. Without ceremony he took to doing odd jobs for an elderly couple, market gardeners who also tended a small flock of goats. The old man, badly burned down one side of his body, was grateful for the help. The young man’s appetite and enthusiasm for his evening meal warmed the old woman’s heart. The way the old man always bumped his head on the front door made the both the old woman and the young man smile.

Some, in the village, noticed that the young stranger seemed familiar. No-one mentioned this within earshot of the village Chantry, however. Its sole, aging Templar, if he noticed himself, mentioned the idea to no-one. But, the very next time he heard boys whooping and throwing rocks at the old spider nest, the pain in his gammy leg did not stop him from approaching them with a sound scolding.

Modifié par Firky, 26 août 2010 - 09:19 .

[Firky]

Thanks all, for reading and letting me know you were reading. Although I'm a complete fanfiction n00b, I'm genuinely trying to improve my writing so any constructive criticism/advice is welcome. I'm interested to know if I paced this correctly and revealed the right amount of info at the right times.





I am a bit of a lurker in this forum and I apologise for not commenting more on people's work. As a latecomer, I find it difficult to comment on a chapter from so long ago when the writer is so far ahead. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed the feedback in this thread so I'm going to comment more. Thanks again.

[Raonar]

Kind of a sad departure after the Archdemon, but at least he got a good epilogue.



I could totally see this NPC and the dialogues in origins and not have it scream "MOD!" in my head.