13 réponses à ce sujet

[Altius O83]

Well, I have a deviantArt, where I uploaded this picture I spent a lot of time making. The reception there was rather...disappointing. It's just that the lack of feedback I got on dA leads me to believe it's not as good as I think it is.

Anyhow, I'm just going to put it up on this website so you can check it out if you want and tell me whether or not you think it's any good. It's a picture of Tali and Shepard dying together on the Collector Station in a hypothetical outcome that I described thoroughly on dA with a short story but will not here.

And yes, I know Shepard looks like a rapist in this picture. I tried to fix his face but I couldn't.

[tommyt_1994]

I hate critiquing art and literature because I never know how to describe it. I think it's a good piece, I certainly couldn't do anything anywhere near as good. The main thing I can point out are Tali and Shepard's heads. They both seem off, in shape mainly. Along with Shep's face.  And Tali's one eye appears misplaced on her face. That's all I can really think of. Keep practicing, its a good piece.

Modifié par tommyt_1994, 04 septembre 2010 - 03:36 .

[Sialater]

Adding wounds and battle damage would probably help with the "in death" part.

[xlavaina]

Nice. The proportions are just a little off on Tali, but other than that nice. Despite the fact I would hate to see this happen.

[Pacifien]

I think it's a good emotional piece. It might be a little too emotional for some of the Tali/Shepard fans perhaps? I'm not an artist, though, so I haven't the ability to critique your form. Some good artists on this forum, though, so perhaps they'll be able to say what your strengths and weaknesses are. The armor strikes me as being very well designed. Depth might be off?

I'd like to know the story behind it. Unless you decided it wasn't any good anymore. :/

[AdamNW]

It's a bit cartoony. It's pretty nice otherwise.

[Altius O83]

AdamNW wrote...

It's a bit cartoony. It's pretty nice otherwise.

True. My brush choice was very smooth and made the piece look rather plain, cartoony.

Pacifien wrote...

I think it's a good emotional piece. It might be a little too emotional for some of the Tali/Shepard fans perhaps? I'm not an artist, though, so I haven't the ability to critique your form. Some good artists on this forum, though, so perhaps they'll be able to say what your strengths and weaknesses are. The armor strikes me as being very well designed. Depth might be off?
I'd like to know the story behind it. Unless you decided it wasn't any good anymore. :/

Thank you very much. I hope the fans don't get too upset.
I tried to keep his armour like I have it in the game, and there probably are some depth issues. This is my first time drawing such complex positions, I think, so it has some good and bad parts.

I suppose I could post the story, too.

tommyt_1994 wrote...

I hate critiquing art and literature because I never know how to describe it. I think it's a good piece, I certainly couldn't do anything anywhere near as good. The main thing I can point out are Tali and Shepard's heads. They both seem off, in shape mainly. Along with Shep's face.  And Tali's one eye appears misplaced on her face. That's all I can really think of. Keep practicing, its a good piece.

Thanks. I do continue practicing, and I hope I get much better. True, their heads are messed up a bit. That's what I struggled the most with, I think. I also do HATE Shepard's face, which was poorly drawn at the time the lineart was created. The one eye was kinda justified, but I was struggling with light reflections; I figured you wouldn't be able to see the other because that side of her helmet was very bright from reflection.

xlavaina wrote...

Nice. The proportions are just a little off on Tali, but other than that nice. Despite the fact I would hate to see this happen.

This is an very old drawing that I drew 5 months ago. I never really decided to fix the screwed up proportions for some reason. I am much better at drawing her now. I was really bugged out by how messed up her head looked.

I would also be very sad if this happened. I just wanted to capture some drama and sadness.

Sialater wrote...

Adding wounds and battle damage would probably help with the "in death" part.

Yeah, I'm still trying to get the hang of that. I just added simple chest wound and abdomen wound because I lack the skill to do anything more.


Thank you all for the honest feedback and critique. It's surprising that I actually get the constructive criticism I'm looking for on a forum rather than on a damned art website, where all the artists do is kiss my ass and try to make me feel better rather than helping me to improve or telling their true opinions. I greatly appreciate everyone's responses.

Modifié par Altius O83, 04 septembre 2010 - 05:10 .

[axl99]

Hey there, a little birdie told me someone needed some help so I thought I'd chip in.



I won't repeat anything that's already been said so the following critique is mainly on composition and colour.



The overall layout feels very cramped, but that can easily be remedied by extending the canvas on the right and the bottom to give the characters some breathing space. The the details on the back wall [including the door] could be shrunk to suggest distance.



To add a tiny bit of perspective, you could even take the back wall and do a freehand skew in Photoshop - hit CTRL+T, and hold down CTRL or CTRL+ALT as you click-drag the anchor points.



Colour-wise, the rule of thumb is to try not to use too much black in an image because it has a nasty tendency of killing any sense of depth. By all means use colours close to the darker end of the spectrum, but not pure BLACK black. For the Collector's base by all means use rusty reds, oranges, yellows, or greens. Dust could be added behind the characters and Tali to allow better distinction between foreground and background elements.

[RGFrog]

Reminds me of some old motel velvet elvis art. Not a bad thing, but not something everyone is bound to like.

Also, don't worry about what others say. Art is very subjective and too easily critiqued. Do it for yourself and to the level that you're satisfied/happy with. If others like it, great. If they don't, it doesn't matter when you are happy with it.

[epoch_]

She got shot in the face actually. You should fix that.

[Altius O83]

epoch_ wrote...

She got shot in the face actually. You should fix that.

Do you not read? I said "hypothetical outcome".

RGFrog wrote...

Reminds me of some old motel velvet elvis art. Not a bad thing, but not something everyone is bound to like.
Also, don't worry about what others say. Art is very subjective and too easily critiqued. Do it for yourself and to the level that you're satisfied/happy with. If others like it, great. If they don't, it doesn't matter when you are happy with it.

Yes, I very much agree with that. I appreciate it. I do plan to do it mostly for myself, but I'd like others to enjoy it just as much rather than lie to me about it.

axl99 wrote...

Hey there, a little birdie told me someone needed some help so I thought I'd chip in.

I won't repeat anything that's already been said so the following critique is mainly on composition and colour.

The overall layout feels very cramped, but that can easily be remedied by extending the canvas on the right and the bottom to give the characters some breathing space. The the details on the back wall [including the door] could be shrunk to suggest distance.

To add a tiny bit of perspective, you could even take the back wall and do a freehand skew in Photoshop - hit CTRL+T, and hold down CTRL or CTRL+ALT as you click-drag the anchor points.

Colour-wise, the rule of thumb is to try not to use too much black in an image because it has a nasty tendency of killing any sense of depth. By all means use colours close to the darker end of the spectrum, but not pure BLACK black. For the Collector's base by all means use rusty reds, oranges, yellows, or greens. Dust could be added behind the characters and Tali to allow better distinction between foreground and background elements.

Thanks for the tips. I tend to make my art too highly-contrasted, so I'll keep a note of that. You sound like you are an artist yourself.

Modifié par Altius O83, 04 septembre 2010 - 09:20 .

[IndigoWolfe]

Shep looks cuddly. Just sayin'.

[Altius O83]

IndigoWolfe wrote...

Shep looks cuddly. Just sayin'.

YOU!!

[Water Dumple]

It's a good concept, but the proportions seem somewhat off. For instance, there isn't much depth of field, so you can vaguely tell that they're on the ground and there's a door some distance behind them, but not much else. Of course the focus is supposed to be on the characters, so the lack of environmental detail makes sense, but it doesn't make the rest of the art very interesting. On the focus, like the others said, Shepard's face seems somewhat disproportionate. Also, if the point was to make it appear that he's near-death, it doesn't come across as he still looks pretty healthy. Basically, you have a good start, but more work on adjusting the details would make this better.