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[Addai]

In writing chapter 5 I replayed the HN origin and decided to amuse myself by making an Ellie prototype to do it.  I don't use the toolset and did not spend a ton of time on her in CC, so she's pretty basic, but I still got a kick out of creating her so maybe it would be interesting to see a shot.  Obviously this isn't the "real" Ellie anyway. 

[Addai]

Chapter Six

I must pause again to thank the irreplaceable SurelyForth. Without her urging, this story might not have gotten published at all, and she continues to provide invaluable yeoman's work in previewing the chapters. Kudos and thanks. Thank you also to the reviewers, who help ensure that I keep publishing. -A.

***

"Your taxes are ruining us."

"You are wasting away, it's plain to see," Loghain returned drily.

The dwarf merchant grumbled. "That's not the point! Business! We come all the way out here to Gwaren, and my expenses..."

"Are obviously worth your while."

The exchange was all good-natured. Hedar and the teyrn had known each other many years, the dwarf's wife and children lived in Gwaren, and his trips to Orzammar and Denerim were becoming less and less frequent as he got older. "Are you going to buy or not, Teyrn Loghain?"

Ellie spoke up. "What about that dagger your partner is... displaying?" A younger dwarf was perched on a barrel with a long, thin blade in his hand, of a type that was so popular on the wharves that it had become known as the "Gwaren toothpick." Generally this was meant to be a metaphor, though the dwarf Ellie referred to happened to be taking the term literally at the time. He looked up as Ellie pointed at him, ceased working at his teeth and held the blade out to her. When she hesitated, staring at it, he sheepishly wiped the blade off on his shirt before presenting it to her once more.

"It's enchanted, Teyrna," Hedar pointed out.. The graven runes on the hilt shone with a light blue glow, testifying to his words. The merchant paused, calculating. "Lyrium is not cheap, as you know. But, for you... twenty sovereigns. As a wedding present."

Loghain snorted, but watched Ellie to see if the blade would interest her. All of the men jumped when a moment later the blade was planted, still shivering, in a wooden post five paces away. They had not even seen her throw it. Ellie looked back at Loghain, smiling. "Good blade."

He turned to Hedar. "Ten." There was more bickering and complaints, and finally the teyrn paid twelve. He counted out the coins while Elissa retrieved the dagger and slipped it into a boot sheath made just for the purpose of concealing a small blade. The couple then walked onward through the market.

It had been several days since the departure of their guests, and most of that time had been spent setting the estate to rights again after the disaster left by wedding celebrations. Ellie had moved in to her own rooms next door to Loghain's. Finally, on a day when it looked like it might not rain for at least a few hours, the pair had gone on an outing. They forbade the mage attendant to follow, and she seemed more than happy to be left behind. Cutha could not be denied so easily, of course.

Loghain had a few stops to make that were not for leisure. He turned down an alleyway and led Elissa to a part of the village that was obviously more run-down. They stopped before a small house, tidier than those on the rest of the street but in decline. A few scrubby trees and rose bushes, half-dead or on their way, lined the front fence. Once it must have been an attractive home. Ellie ordered Cutha to stay in the yard as they knocked on the weathered door.

Inside a small fire burned, and a woman sat by it. She leapt up when the couple entered. "Teyrn! How good of you to come. He's feeling very poorly lately, but he'll be so pleased."

The "he" was a thin, sickly old man on a bed nearby. It had obviously been moved into the main room, other furniture cleared, so the man could be close to the largest hearth. Loghain approached his bed and crouched down on a low stool. "How are you, Walther?"

Walther's mottled, thin hand reached out to grasp Loghain's arm and then the man sat up, making a sound that could have been laughter but more resembled wheezing. Finally he managed to speak, albeit in a hoarse whisper. "You've come, L..l..loghain. My Celie will be so pleased."

Loghain smiled and nodded, playing along. There was no point in trying to tell Walther that his daughter was dead. He knew it, somewhere deep down, but would just forget or pretend to forget if he was reminded. "I've come, Walther. You're not missing much keeping to your bed. The rains are upon us already..." He kept on like that, chatting about news in the village, for some minutes, though eventually it was clear the old man was no longer listening. When Walther began to make wheezing snores, Loghain released his hand and stood. "Do you need anything?" he asked the woman, who was not Celia's mother but a nurse that he himself had hired to tend the old man. The nurse shook her head. Loghain counted out some money and gave it to her anyway.

When he and Ellie were back on the street, he felt her looking at him. "That was your wife's father, wasn't it?" she asked finally.

"Yes." Loghain walked on in silence a few moments more before he continued. He had been tempted to say nothing further at all, but Ellie deserved more than that. "He was a nasty piece of work, that one. Beat Celia's mother. I don't think he ever laid a hand on Celia, but she was glad to be away from him."

"And you still look after him?"

"Of course. It's little enough. He'll have a roof and food, and a gravestone someday, but no more from me than that."

They headed out of the town proper and began the climb up to Gwaren Manor. Before and during the occupation, it had been the home of the teyrn. When Loghain assumed the title, he didn't feel right occupying the place that had been used by Orlesians to look down on and terrorize the Fereldan townspeople. Much of Gwaren had burned in the fighting and had to be rebuilt anyway, so he had constructed his new estate within the town limits itself. The Manor was turned over to the town guard and regional militia, the Gwaren Regulars. That winter, the manor and the barracks surrounding it housed a few more than its usual number, since Loghain had brought some of his own forces from Denerim.

They were at mess in the main hall when Loghain and Elissa walked in. Seeing them, the soldiers all leapt to their feet amidst whoops and cheers. Generally Loghain was known as a hard, practical, taciturn man; he was respected but not loved in most places, especially in the nobility. The common folk responded to him more readily, though his position and hero status kept him at some distance. Fereldan soldiers, however, especially those who served directly under him, worshipped him. Some of his commanders had fought alongside him in the rebellion, or else their fathers had. These passed on the stories of Loghain and the Night Elves and of Maric the Savior, favorites which grew more outlandish with every telling. It was not only history that endeared Loghain to his men, however. Every one of them knew that if they were called to shed blood for Ferelden, he would not spare his own blood just to save himself.

The officers' attempts to quell the cheering and restore order, therefore, were half-hearted since they were smiling, too. One of them, a man with close-cropped dark hair and cheerful eyes, approached Loghain and clasped his hand. "Teyrn Loghain. Come to see if we were up here sleeping off the wedding celebration, did you."

"Come to show you that I'm not," Loghain replied with a half-smile. "Commander Riven, this is..."

"The Teyrna Elissa. Delighted, my lady." Riven bent down and kissed Elissa's gloved hand. Looking back at Loghain, he added, "I think you've actually come to show off your beautiful wife."

The teyrn chuckled and didn't deny it. He walked down the rows, waving the soldiers back to their ease, shaking hands and pausing while the guardsmen greeted Elissa. Many of them had been at the wedding, but at such affairs nobles kept to themselves and the commoners likewise, so most had not gotten a good look at the bride then. They did now, and the gossip that Loghain managed to overhear in the room was positive. The teyrna had a solid look about her and spoke well, no drooping flower. She also was obviously right at home in their midst. While Loghain excused himself to talk over supplies and drill plans with his officers, Elissa took a seat at a table with several blushing guardsmen and a female archer. A plate of stew was put in front of her, and another set out for her mabari.

When Loghain finished talking to the officers, he turned and surveyed the hall. It was here that Maric had first held court, trying to win over the nobles' support for an attack on West Hill. In this very room, Loghain had killed a man who suggested they would be better off turning the prince over to the dogs. He could still remember the sight of the man's blood pooling, his eyes staring in horror. It had been necessary and Loghain did not flinch from doing it. There was someone else in that hall who should have had the blade run through her, however: The elven woman who was working as an an Orlesian agent, and who was also Maric's lover. Loghain had interrogated her but had been taken in by her stories, too. It had been a harsh lesson for young men to learn, that beauty and kindness could conceal betrayal.

Shaking off the memory, Loghain glanced over to where his little family sat having their meal. Ellie was earnestly listening to a common guardsman go on about something. She was a good listener and it showed in the man's face. She made people believe they were important to her. The teyrn smiled faintly and crossed the room to join them.

It was well into the afternoon and threatening rain by the time they emerged. They had planned to walk out into the countryside, and despite the greying of the sky Elissa insisted they keep to their plan. Around Gwaren, the forest had been beaten back from the coastline by centuries of sheep farming, leaving a strip of rocky moor all along the sea cliffs. The sheep paths were also ideal for walking, and a few of the woolly natives even put in an appearance while Loghain and Elissa took to them. Cutha left the sheep in peace but soon his barking could be heard off in the distance along with the terrified squawks of sea birds.

Ellie did most of the talking as they strolled, describing for Loghain her favorite spots along Highever's coasts. These were generally greener and more fair than Gwaren's, without the cold mists and bogs that haunted this region. Loghain knew that part of the country a little- he had traveled most of Ferelden- and still found his own teyrnir more pleasing. Gwaren's beauty was a desolate one, lonelier than the more settled north, but its crags and moors and deep forests had a harmony of their own. The fact that you needed a little courage and persistence to be able to appreciate it just made it that much more rewarding. Mostly Loghain kept his thoughts to himself, however, occasionally interjecting a question as Elissa spoke.

The path turned steeper, heading up into some higher cliffs, and they sometimes had to clamber on boulders to make progress. Ellie wanted to reach the top of a butte that looked like it might provide a splendid view of the surrounding countryside and the sea

So it did. They stood admiring the vista for a time when abruptly Loghain turned and asked, "Why are you doing this?"

Ellie's brow shot up. "Doing what?"

He gestured around him as though it should be obvious. "This. Why are you so... amiable? Why do you try to kiss me even when we are not in bed together? Why do you seek my company?" His voice was even, not accusatory, though there was a pointedness to it that showed he meant to get an answer.

She laughed, her tone incredulous. "Because it is such an unusual thing to walk with one's husband? Or kiss him?"

Loghain frowned. "I am serious. Please answer the question. In marrying me you got your freedom from Cailan. I want to know why you are trying so hard to earn my favor."

Ellie stepped close, facing him and meeting his eyes. She seemed to be probing him. Finally she asked, "Do you not believe that we could be friends, Loghain? Is my company so disagreeable to you?"

"No! Of course not." His tone was dismissive. Ellie remained still, eyes on him. She had him pinned, and suddenly Loghain was sorry he had ever asked the question. He wanted honesty from her, but it was more difficult to produce honesty on his own part. Softening, his voice took on an air of defeat. "I like you. A great deal, in fact. I did not expect to like you."

Elissa laughed and nodded. "I didn't expect to like you, either. All the things I heard about you... well, they are true, in a way, but they are not the whole story." She hesitated, and put a hand on his arm. "You believe me false? Or maybe you believe me shallow? Yes, that is more likely. I'm young and you think I am being flighty or naive. Maybe I am, and I won't be able to convince you otherwise anyway. You will just have to trust me. Unless you mean that we should not spend any more time together."

Loghain shrugged vaguely. That was not what he meant, but if she was insincere, it would be preferable. After a silence, the curiosity finally got the best of him. "What is it that you heard about me?"

"That you are a hard, difficult man. They say you are fair, but... that you are not the kind of man that people want to have at dinner or invite out for a pint. Or the kind of man that a woman would want to go home to at night." She looked at him, obviously expecting him to react to these words, but they meant little to Loghain. They were true, after all.

"I am that. I told you as much before we were married, though since you heard those stories you didn't need me to tell you."

"It's just idle talk. Anyway I had already formed a different opinion before I came here." Loghain did not prompt her to explain, so for a moment there was no sound but the crashing of the waves far below them. Elissa seemed to be sorting through her thoughts. Finally she went on, "You are a hard man, yes, I can see that. But everyone knows of your long friendship with the king. You sacrificed yourself for him countless times. The men who fight with you love you, everyone knows that too. They obviously see something that the casual observer does not. So I already knew that there must be more to you than what people said. And now I know that there is."

Loghain's jaw firmed. He did not want her to elaborate. It was too likely that what she would say would either be empty flattery or would simply be wrong. Freeing his arm gently from her grasp, he paced away a few steps and attempted to change the subject. "You must not have been terribly against the idea of marriage, Ellie, if you are so willing to reform your opinion of me, and if you truly want this to be more than just an alliance of convenience."

Ellie crossed to a rock behind him and slowly took a seat on it. "I wasn't always open to the idea of marriage," she admitted. "For most of my youth I saw it as something that would only limit me. But in recent years, I changed my mind. I realized that I did want someone to hold and to take walks with and who would wake up next to me. Does that surprise you?"

Turning to glance at her, Loghain replied, "A little."

"It's because I can use a sword, isn't it? For a woman it's that simple. You either wield a sword or a husband's c*ck, never both."

That prompted a chuckle from him. "Wielding both at the same time could be dangerous, my dear." He turned to face her. "Many do think it comes down to that choice, I suppose. I am not one of them."

"Yes, I know!" Ellie leapt up, suddenly enthused again. Coming up to him, she spoke in an earnest tone. "If I was to marry, whom could I choose that was not only my equal, but who would not try to mold me into his arm dressing? I can be arm dressing, mind you, I just don't want that to be all there is. I knew little of you, no more than what any child hears in the tales, but based on what I heard, I took a chance. A chance that you and I might be able to leave each other alone where it mattered. I hoped for more than that, but that was what I wanted most of all. The rest of it..."

While she was talking, Loghain felt his heart pick up its pace a little. Ellie spoke sensibly, and it was also hard not to be infected by her enthusiasm. Though he did not want to admit it, what she was telling him both impressed and moved him. He hadn't imagined that a woman would see him to such advantage simply for doing what came naturally to him. Ellie was admitting that she had not only chosen him for his position, for the freedom he offered her from Cailan, but also for who he was. Reaching up a hand, he stroked her cheek and watched her face, but said nothing, allowing her to finish.

"...the rest of it, that was a surprise. Your kindness. The way you notice small things and small people. The respect you show me, when many other men of our station look down on me as not being womanly or seemly enough." Ellie paused, then laughed. "Do you believe me now? I know we don't know each other well, but I like you. I do like you."

Loghain stared at her, measuring her statements, but her gaze never wavered under his scrutiny. His hand moved from caressing her cheek to slip around her waist. Pulling her closer, he touched his lips to her forehead. "Thank you," he said quietly, the gravel in his voice betraying the emotion she had stirred in him. His mind turned to the memory of Katriel, Maric's elven lover who had betrayed them and nearly cost them the rebellion. Closing his eyes, Loghain suddenly knew in his gut what he had not been able to understand then: Maric's desperate need to believe the assurances of the woman in his arms, who was so tender and who seemed so good. Quickly Loghain fought to shrug off the comparison. It was a different day, and Ellie was not that woman.

Gathering himself after a moment, he stood back and, hand still resting on her waist, spoke in a voice that was harder than he intended. "You must know that I am not really a free man. Whether I like you or not, whether I am wed to you or not, I must always serve Ferelden."

"And you think I don't?" She smiled up at him. "I am no fool. I did not wed an ordinary man and do not expect an ordinary husband. Did it ever to occur to you that I don't want one?"

Modifié par Addai67, 14 octobre 2010 - 06:36 .

[Addai]

It hadn't, really. Loghain had assumed that she had taken this course merely out of necessity, that she had been forced into it. What she was telling him was that she actually wanted him. Perhaps it had not been her first choice, but it did not seem a bad choice to her, either. And there it was again- his heart beating faster. He only vaguely realized that what moved him was Elissa's acceptance, the prospect of actually pleasing her and not just being what she had been compelled to settle for. Leaning down, Loghain drew their mouths together into a kiss that had both affection and heat. His arms moved down her back and drew her in more closely, pressing their bodies together. Dimly he tried to remind himself that it couldn't last, and that it was dangerous for him to form attachments because it might weaken his resolve to do his duty. The warning voices in his head were growing weaker by the moment, however.

When they turned back towards the town and made it to the level paths once more, Loghain caught Ellie once to steady her, and as he held her arm it occurred to him that he might take her hand and hold it while they walked. One would occasionally see lovers do that, even older couples. His hand was still on her arm while he fought with the urge, but finally he released her and walked on, cursing himself. It wasn't clear even to him whether he was cursing himself for having had such a silly notion in the first place, or for not having the courage to actually follow it through.

In the ensuing weeks he and Elissa did go their own way at times. Loghain meant for her to see as much of Gwaren teyrnir as the winter storms would allow, and at first he accompanied her on these trips, but as she became more comfortable she went abroad on her own while he was attending to other affairs. Once or twice he did not see her for days at a time. The mage Anya was her companion for some of these journeys, and Loghain had to admit he rested easier knowing Ellie had a healing mage nearby.

The common folk of the region were a skeptical lot. At first Loghain had had to explain to Elissa that in Gwaren people tended to scowl when they liked you, and smile when they thought you were full of sh*te and they couldn't be bothered. There was some muttering over the new young teyrna, who did not meet everyone's expectations for what a lady should be, especially since even as a commoner Celia had cut a much different impression. Mostly, however, the scowling Elissa encountered was the good kind.

She had a quick mind and had used it to good purpose in her younger years. With a basic grasp of seafaring, farming and battle, Ellie could at least ask the right questions. If she didn't always follow the answers, it was likely  due to Gwaren's heavy dialect. When Loghain accompanied Elissa on her visits, he would usually stand back and let her do the talking, but would occaionally lean in to whisper a quick translation from Gwarenese into ordinary Fereldan. This led to the rumor being passed around that the young teyrna was hard of hearing. Ellie soon learned to decipher Gwaren dialect on her own, but she had people shouting at her in the streets for most of the winter.

Harel, Loghain's handservant, who actually was partly deaf, was at first skeptical of his new mistress. The housekeeper likewise seemed concerned. It took some time for Loghain to work out from their grumbling that they were just nervous that she would upset the applecart in what was usually a quiet household. Harel, for one, was scared to death that he would be let go. The elf had been a stable boy all his life until he was thrown, breaking his back and one leg. By that time he had been in Loghain's employ some years. Even after he recovered, the elf obviously could not return to the stables and Loghain had taken him into the house. Harel had had a fine horse sense but was useless at anything else, so the teyrn made him valet, a post that required almost nothing of him since Loghain did not like to be fussed over and was usually in Denerim anyway. The little man, who had rheumy blue eyes and all of three stubborn wisps of blonde hair on his head, was absurdly loyal. He had actually cried when Loghain once suggested he accept a pension and take a cottage in town. And so, the teyrn's boots might be set out in mismatched pairs, but they were always shined. Elissa had no intention of firing him; quite the opposite. She thought Harel delightful, like having an elven grandfather, something that the servant found alarming but eventually got used to.

The housekeeper had also seemed to be complaining about Elissa at first. Loghain had finally worked out from "mistress does not have a menu for the week" and "mistress has a great deal of dirty laundry" that the woman was concerned the new teyrna was not being precise enough in her orders about these things. Celia had run a tight household and had had an opinion on everything, down to how heavy the bed fill should be. Some of the servants still remembered this and expected the same from the new teyrna. In view of Ellie's apathy about how many goose feathers in the mattress were just right, the housekeeper was trying to ask if she could just get on with what she had been doing before. Loghain assured her that she could.

He had once been worried about his independence with a new wife, and it was true that as the winter went on, Loghain was relieved that he could attend to his duties and not entertain Elissa every moment. She took to her new home and new role so well that she rarely needed him. While sitting at his desk writing letters or distracted while he watched his troops at maneuvers, however, Loghain would find himself thinking about her. He began to look forward to the simple pleasure of eating his dinner with her. On some nights they were too tired to make love, but it was a rare night that the couple slept apart in their own rooms. It was a kind of thrill to hear Ellie's slippers scuff to his door and feel her climb in bed next to him, and a different kind of thrill to surprise her in like manner. They had argued on occasion, but mostly over small things. When they did argue more vigorously, it was usually on the days that they took to sword practice with one another. Neither of them liked to be shown up. Their lovemaking was especially vigorous on those nights, as though the bruises and tongue-lashing they had given each other in the afternoon had been nothing but intoxicating foreplay.

As the winter waned, Loghain felt some foreboding. Gwaren had many problems, but it was peaceful and remote, its people honest and straightforward. They would be in Denerim soon, however, and that was a horse of a very different color. He was anxious to get back to Maric's side, yet could not help but feel that he and Ellie had spent the winter in a kind of respite, like being holed up in a cozy, out-of-the-way cabin. There was very little cozy about the palace in Denerim. His role there was more demanding and would leave even less time for him to attend the needs of a young wife. Ellie had found her feet quickly in Gwaren, but Loghain did not know how she would fare at court, where her boldness and lack of pretense would stand out and be tested. Spring approached. They would soon find out.

End chapter six.

Modifié par Addai67, 03 octobre 2010 - 08:16 .

[Siduri]

Hooray, a new chapter! I'm enjoying this, especially the foreshadowing that we are going to see trouble from Cailan.

[Addai]

Siduri wrote...

Hooray, a new chapter! I'm enjoying this, especially the foreshadowing that we are going to see trouble from Cailan.

Thanks for the read. 

[Addai]

Chapter Seven

"You can't go in there. King'll be out shortly." Alun Marwell was a beefy-faced man, a street tough who had come up through the ranks to become one of Maric's most trusted bodyguards. He had cut off the party from Gwaren in the outer parlor of the royal suite and now stood before the door with his arms crossed as though they might try to bull past him.

It had been a long trip, overland with about thirty of Loghain's forces and some civilian hangers-on, and the teyrn was in no frame of mind to bull anyone, even if he hadn't had the women in tow. He and Ellie stood around stinking of horse while Anora took a seat to wait. They had left Cauthrien and Ellie's mage attendant Anya in the hallway casting skeptical glances at one another. There was no sign of Cailan.

A few minutes later the door behind Alun opened and Maric came into the parlor, still stuffing his shirt into his leather trousers, blonde hair mussed and eyes sunken. Loghain's mouth clenched at the sight. Though he said nothing, a claw of anxiety grabbed at him. He had seen Maric in such a state before, but only long before.

Putting on an obviously forced smile, the king held out his arms. "Here you both are. Welcome to Denerim, Elissa."

"Your Majesty." Elissa smiled, bowing her head, but Loghain could see the concern in her expression. "Thank you for the welcome, but I have been in Denerim before, a number of times."

"Of course, of course, but not as a member of the court. And how is the new husband treating you?" Maric could not conceal how tired he sounded, despite the attempt at banter.

"Very well, of course."

"Right, right. You have to say that regardless, don't you?"

"Maric..." Loghain stepped closer to the king. When he did, he smelled the alcohol and recoiled. Scowling, the teyrn finished, "I'm sorry, Maric, but we are tired. We just came to present ourselves and let you know we had made it back to the capital."

The king moved away and crossed behind the desk, defensively putting it between them. He sat, leaned back in his chair and laced his hands together. "I'm glad. We missed you, and now we've got Highever's best here, too. We'll have to talk, Elissa, about what role you would like to play in the court. I would make you a minister if there were any spots open, but if you really want that sort of post, I'll make one for you. I was rather thinking you might like to do some recruiting for the army..."

As he barely listened to Elissa making some reply, Loghain marveled at the fact that Maric could still act the king even while he was obviously cooked and sauced. He had always had a knack for charming his way out of everything, even in the days when he was a young, scared prince, or else everyone around him loved him so much that they followed him anyway. It had been a long time since Maric had had to fake his way through, however.

"...You're young, you'll be a draw both for women and for young men. For different reasons, of course." Maric chuckled as he went on talking about Elissa taking up recruitment for the army. "At any rate, get settled in and then come and see me. Oh, that reminds me, I made arrangements for you to have a residence that should be much nicer than Loghain's dusty old apartments. There's a cottage on the palace grounds that the Orlesians built for visiting nobles. You know the one, Loghain, over in the park by the willow pond. The usurpers did leave a few good things behind."

Ellie stirred in her spot. "It sounds lovely, Your Majesty, but you needn't..."

Maric waved a hand. "Of course I do. For you and Loghain, anything. It's not as if there are a lot of foreign visitors coming to Ferelden anyway, is there? Except as it happens, there is an ambassador from Kirkwall here at the moment, so it's occupied. I had hoped he would be gone by the time you returned."

"We'll manage," the teyrn answered irritably. He wanted to be gone. What he really wanted was for the women to leave so that he could grab Maric by the neck and shake him, but second best would be a bath and a meal.

Anora spoke up. "I've made sure your rooms here were kept clean and otherwise untouched, Father."

"Thank you, Anora." Loghain noted that his daughter was obviously at home in the palace, already "making sure" of things. In addition to continuing her own education, her unofficial role at court was as advisor to Cailan. There had been something about dancing and etiquette lessons for the prince. Much as Loghain knew the boy needed to settle down, he pitied him thoroughly all the same.

Maric added, "You can keep your old quarters anyway, Loghain, not just until the ambassador leaves. Meanwhile Elissa can be given a guest room for now..."

"She'll stay with me." Loghain realized late that he had uttered this too quickly and firmly. The king's mouth twisted in a grin, and after a moment he uttered a little noise that was part triumphant "ha!" and part laugh. I told you so was written all over his bloated face. Anora's reaction was even more pointed. She looked up, startled, and glanced between her father and Elissa. Loghain ignored them both, heading for the door but qualifying over his shoulder, "Unless the lady wishes it otherwise."

Elissa answered quickly, as well. "No, that will be fine. Thank you, Your Majesty. Thank you, Anora."

When he was in the corridor and safely away, Loghain swore softly. He should not have stayed away so long, that was plain. Walking at a fast clip and deep in thought, he waved Cauthrien off and was barely aware of Ellie following him until they had reached his old quarters. Only when the door closed behind them did he turn around and realize, finally, that there was a woman in his rooms. A woman who would be staying in them. In Gwaren Loghain had gotten used to the sight of red hair spread out on his pillow and women's smallclothes tossed on his desk chair. That was there, however, and his quarters in Denerim had always been his own. Celia had never set foot in them.

Ellie was wandering slowly from the window to his bookshelves and began examining the volumes in them. Loghain watched her uneasily. His house in Gwaren was modest and comfortable, more like the home of a wealthy commoner than a noble estate. The palace in Denerim was much older than the Orlesian war, however, and Loghain could never quite be at home in it. The echoing stone walls, high ceilings with wooden rafters, and the drafts that whistled in them always made him feel like there were people watching him and whispering. The fact that court life really was like that only heightened the impression. And now, he supposed, the voices would be whispering about his new, much younger wife. Loghain could only guess how Ellie would find it all. Even in a nicer residence than his spare chambers, he couldn't imagine anyone actually liking the palace. Not unless you were the sort who thrived on the whispers, as Anora did.

"You like maps." Ellie had come around to his wall hanging, a tapestry he had commissioned from an old map of pre-occupation Ferelden. It was the one piece of decoration in his quarters that Loghain valued most, and he was distractedly pleased that it should be the first thing she commented on.

"The making of a good map is a valuable art. It isn't easy to capture a landscape on a flat surface, but a good map mean the difference between life and death."

"Much has changed since this one was made."

"It is important to remember who we were." Loghain watched her a moment, then gestured and added, "The Couslands are there. I could find a much older map and they would always be there."

"Sometimes as the enemies of the crown." Ellie turned to look over her shoulder at him.

"Loyalties change." He paused, then looked down and asked mildly, "Do you miss your home a great deal?"

Ellie's eyes returned to the map, gazing up at Highever's mark on it. "Not a great deal. But I do miss it sometimes."

Even if Elissa was minimizing for his benefit, it was true that she did not seem unhappy. It was little credit to him, since he had come to realize that Ellie made do with whatever situation she found, usually with a ready smile. Meanwhile Loghain knew full well that his reputation for brooding was deserved. Their ages were not the only thing that set them apart. Perhaps she would find her way in the palace better than he had.

A knock came and servants entered, bringing them a platter of cold meats and continuing into the inner chambers to prepare a bath. Ser Cauthrien was hovering in the doorway when they entered and Loghain waved her in.

The knight bowed, looking fit and eager as always. She cast one pointed glance at Elissa before returning her eyes to Loghain. "My lord."

"Cauthrien. I'll hear your reports tomorrow. Where is the prince, do you know?"

"Prince Cailan is not in the palace." She glanced around uneasily, leaned in and explained, "Likely he has gone out to one of the noble houses, my lord. He has friends who entertain him often."

Out of the corner of his eye Loghain saw Elissa stir and turn her gaze away. In the past she had no doubt been one of those who had entertained the prince. Nevertheless jealousy was the last thing on his mind. He expelled a breath, rubbing at his forehead. Maric at least got drunk in the palace, in sight of his royal guard. Maker even knew if Cailan had thought to bring his along. The boy was not a prisoner, but it would have been better for everyone if he could be locked up. Already he was gaining a reputation among the nobles as dissolute and shiftless. For the time being they would excuse this as the vices of a young man, but that indulgence would not last forever.

Whatever was troubling Maric, his son's difficulty with his station was different. Maric had never wanted the office, but he could apply himself to its work very diligently. Only in his despair after Rowan's death had he disregarded even the most basic, necessary tasks. Cailan had been a diligent student of history and an avid reader in his boyhood, but to him the drudgery of ruling- which was the majority of what ruling meant- was a ball of trifles he could kick into a corner while he looked for something more exciting. If he had grown up during the rebellion, he wouldn't have lacked for diversion, but peacetime Ferelden was wanting in that department. Cailan had been forced to improvise.

Loghain was still wrapped up in his thoughts, head bowed, when he felt Ellie's hands moving to unlace his armor. Looking up, he saw that Cauthrien and all the servants had gone. "I'm sorry, Ellie, I was just..."

"I know." Her face was sober. "You were thinking. Worrying. You do a lot of both, as you must. Don't apologize for it."

"I suppose."

Loghain helped her strip down his plate and her leathers, then withdrew into the bedchamber and the washroom. When he got to the washroom he suddenly remembered, again, that there was someone there who needed to share it. Turning, he gestured and said, "There is a bath ready. Would you... shall we...?" They had bathed together numerous times, but Loghain did not like to presume.

"I'll join you."

Minutes later he was gasping her name into her hair, arms resting loosely around her waist as she stroked him, slowly at first and then more vigorously. He had intended only to bathe, but soon enough Ellie's body had had its effect on his. They had not been intimate in some days, since leaving Gwaren, and even tired and distracted he was, matters had simply taken their own course. Loghain had told Ellie to ignore it, but she merely smiled at him and took things into her own hands. Literally.

This was why every sly look and comment that people gave him was justified. It was what the palace would soon be whispering about. Maric's smirking and Anora's surprise were only the early signs of what he could expect from every noble down to to every stable boy who felt fit to comment: The Hero of River Dane had married the scion of Highever, a beautiful woman nearly half his age. It had already been the talk for months, but now they would see that it was more than just a politically impressive match, that Elissa meant something to him. Loghain had a reputation as tough and unflinching, which led many to joke that the armor he was so often seen in was his real skin. If but one servant could overhear his groaning now, the whole palace would soon know his skin took to polishing more readily than a suit of armor.

It was an uneasy thing for Loghain to be reminded that he was just a man. He had never wanted to be known as a legend, either, but after so many years of being treated as such, the idea of having such a known vulnerability was troubling. Other men could have weaknesses, indulgences. If today's reception at the palace was proof of anything, it was that he could not afford to. And yet Elissa saw him weak, saw him need her, and sooner or later others would know that she weakened him, too. When at last Ellie brought him to his finish, Loghain was shaking with more than just the violence of his physical response.

He was still trembling when he reciprocated, one arm looped gently around her back while his fingers teased at her. At least, by the Maker's mercy, Ellie seemed to find him an acceptable lover. It would have been easier if she had had no interest in him at all; he could then have disciplined his body to remain cold to her. While it would have been easier, it was still not something Loghain wished for too much. She was not just kind and welcoming, she also matched him for desire and was openly appreciative of his efforts to satisfy her. The sighs and sweet words of her coming were a potent reward. It flattered him more than he wanted to admit that even after all these years, a lovely young woman who could have any lover she wanted did not simply push him away in disgust.
They finished their bath and ate a small supper, then both fell into bed and were soon asleep. Loghain had not slept so well in years as he had in the past months.

[Addai]

***

"You do realize that it is the raiders from your coasts that have made such measures necessary in the first place?" Loghain stood beside Maric's throne, armor gleaming in the morning sunlight that came in through the high windows of Fereldan's great hall. His voice echoed in the rafters as he scowled down at Kirkwall's ambassador, one Gilard Ayermin. The man was dressed in dark velvets and a robe of black silk emblazoned with the geometric patterns of his city's dragon symbol. Maric had managed to get dressed that morning, too, though he was slumped sidewise and mostly silent during the audience with the ambassador.

"Teyrn Loghain," the ambassador stumbled, "this is a problem our own sailors face as well..."

"And your government does nothing to address it? Is your plan to sit back and let us handle it, then?"

Ayermin laughed nervously, spreading his hands. Loghain could see from his flustered reaction that the man had become accustomed to dealing with Maric and had expected more of the same ready compliance. The king had already agreed that when he took the royal flagship out that spring, he would combine it with a state visit to the Free Marches. Loghain did not like it one bit. "Teyrn Loghain, we do what we can, but our country is not a wealthy one. We are forced to compete with the other Free Cities, and have always to deal with Orlais and Nevarra as well, and the Imperium. Surely your lordship understands that it is difficult for a small, modest state to hold its own. That is why we should very much like to deepen our friendship with Ferelden."

Maric was watching it all with a tired bemusement. "You'll have to excuse Loghain, ambassador. He watches our interests closely."

"But of course, Your Majesty. We have heard of the Hero of River Dane. The stories are told..."

Loghain cut him off, recognizing base flattery when he heard it. "Yes, thank you. It seems you have the promises you sought, ambassador. We have nothing more to discuss here, unless the king has anything further?"

"That will be all for now. We will see you at dinner, Gilard."

The ambassador bowed low and retreated. When he was gone, Loghain turned and regarded Maric sharply. "You're quite friendly with this man."

"Is Ferelden to have no friends, Loghain? Only enemies?"

"We stand on our own."

"You know as well as I do that that only goes so far. You yourself have urged me to expand our trade and our political alliances as a counterbalance to Orlais. How do you expect me to do that? Frown at them til they give in?"

"Maric, this little sailing trip of yours..."

The king rose slowly from the throne and put a hand on his friend's arm. "I know it worries you, Loghain. I also know that you realize, deep down under those stern glares, that it is the right thing to do and the right time to do it. We need a navy. What better way to recruit than for me to put in at Fereldan ports and talk to the men on the docks? We need to solidify our ties to the Free Marches, and there is nothing better for that than to show that I mean business. And Cailan needs to lead for a while without me looking over his shoulder. He will have you here to make sure all goes smoothly, so I'm not worried about that."

Loghain hated it, but Maric was right on all counts. He hated it even more that Maric knew that he knew this. There was no point in more protest. "I don't like ships," he grumbled, the best he could do.

Maric grinned. "I guess I'll have to look elsewhere for my first recruit, won't I? Now let's go meet Elissa at the practice field. I'm eager to see what the new Lady Mac Tir can do with a sword."

What Elissa could do was plain to see in the beet-red, sweaty face of the master-at-arms, and plain to hear in his growling complaints. Loghain was instantly sympathetic. Elissa favored using a shield, but she did not use it the way others did. For one thing, she did not rely on it for her defense, instead using her quickness to simply not be there when the blow came. This saved both her shield and her shield arm, and by the time her opponent adjusted to the surprise, he was likely find Elissa's shield in his face. At first Loghain had assumed that such dancing movements would tire her, but by experience found out otherwise. She combined them with a careful precision so that all her moves were efficient. Though she also had the advantage of being young, the disciplined style helped save her stamina. Loghain could recognize the state of things in the lazy way she was now letting the master-at-arms come at her. She was toying with him.

At last the man yielded, throwing his own sword down in disgust. After a brief rest Elissa took up again with a younger soldier. He was wary at first, having just seen his trainer bested, but soon began to make mistakes as well. Elissa had admitted to Loghain that her best defense was the overconfidence of men. Even though some of Ferelden's best fighters had been women, something stubborn in men would not let them believe that a woman could best them in combat. That prejudice was a weakness that Ellie could and did exploit with cheerful abandon.

Maric was watching the sparring with fascination. When at last Elissa called a draw and came over to them, he clapped appreciatively. "Good show, Teyrna. I'll know not to challenge you any day soon."

"Your Majesty. Hello, Loghain." She smiled at her husband and paused to catch her breath and take a drink from a water flask.

"Don't bother challenging her," Loghain advised drily. "She had some Antivan fop show her how to use a shield and doesn't know how to do it properly." This was an ongoing, good-natured taunt between the couple. Elissa had in fact had an Antivan trainer once, who had given up trying to interest her in fighting with two swords and had instead adapted some of the techniques of that style to the shield. During practice fights, Loghain kept insisting "you're doing it wrong" even as his wife was giving him a run for his money with her unusual style.

"Don't listen to him, Your Majesty. That sniffling is my husband's hurt pride talking."

"So I see." Maric laughed and looked between the two of them with a pleased curiosity. Loghain didn't bother to meet his eyes. He knew that Maric could see how it stood with them, that even in a few short months, he and the wife he had grudgingly taken had become friends. Even if the smirking was an annoyance and others besides Maric might use this fact against him, Loghain still could not help but feel satisfaction and a certain pride. Maric's surprise at this turn of events was no greater than his own.

After a few minutes watching the other guardsmen sparring, the king spoke up again, more soberly. "What do you know of darkspawn, Elissa?"

Both of the others turned to him, Loghain sharply so. Ellie stammered, replying, "Well, let's see. They are horrible creatures that once threatened many lands and still trouble the dwarven cities. Why do you ask, Your Majesty?"

The king was avoiding Loghain's gaze. "I would like you to meet someone. I think you would like him, and he would be interested to see you fight. Don't let him try to recruit you, though. He's always trying to grab the cream of the crop out of our guard."

"You're talking about the Grey Warden," Loghain said, his voice thick with distaste. "The one from Val Royeaux."

"Duncan. Yes." Maric still wasn't looking at the teyrn, or he would have seen his face darken even more, though Loghain made no further comment. "Be here at this same time tomorrow, Elissa, and I'll send round for Duncan to come meet you."

That evening, as Loghain and Elissa dressed for dinner with the ambassador, the teyrn maintained a terse silence. Why was Maric thinking about this again now? He was drinking, and he was talking about darkspawn. The combination turned the claw of anxiety that had been eating at Loghain into something sharper. Long ago, Maric had been told something by a witch of the wilds that had given the king a lifelong fear of the threat of Blight. The witch had said other things, as well...

Lacing up his surcoat, Loghain grumbled to Ellie, "Be wary of this Duncan fellow. The Grey Wardens are a canny bunch. Pretend to be above the fray but I don't trust their motives."

"Father seemed to admire them a great deal."

"Yes, well, he hasn't seen what I have."

Elissa did not ask about that, instead continuing, "I would like to meet this Duncan. In fact, I believe Father may have mentioned him a time or two."

"Do not get involved with him, Ellie. I won't have you beholden to Grey Wardens."

There was warning in her voice, but Loghain didn't hear it. "Meeting him is hardly 'getting involved.' I shall merely..."

"You won't ally with them, do you understand? I forbid it."

Elissa stopped cold at that and turned from her dressing table. Icily she replied, "I am sorry, husband, but you don't get to forbid me anything."

The change in her tone could not be missed then. Loghain looked up, meeting her glare with one of his own. She couldn't possibly understand how dangerous these people were, and yet, she had a point. Elissa was not his underling. His voice was grudging. "I'm sorry. You are right, I cannot give you orders. I shall merely give you advice. If you choose not to take it, that is up to you."

After a moment Ellie stepped over to him and put a hand on his arm. Her expression was puzzled, searching. Loghain glanced at her before turning his eyes away once more. When she spoke, it was in a much softer tone. "What are you afraid of?"

"Nothing. It's nothing. Come, we are late."

Dinner passed uneventfully. Maric was subdued but otherwise his normal charming self. Loghain was wrapped up in his own thoughts and heard little of the conversation about the peculiarities of Kirkwall and the life of the sea. The latter had become a favorite theme of the king's of late. It was typical of Maric to romanticize something that was so risky, something that was about duty and not adventure, yet Loghain could not begrudge him too much. They both agreed his trip would be useful. If it also made Maric happy, there were few things of late that did.

Loghain did not touch Ellie that evening as they both retired, and after an hour of trying to sleep, he finally got up and sat at the window for a time staring out into the empty courtyard. At last he rose, threw on a tunic and slipped out into the hall, waving off his guard who made to follow. Alun Marwell was on duty again at Maric's door, but this time the royal guardsman made no protest when Loghain pushed past. Not bothering to knock, Loghain did pause in the outer parlor to call out, "Maric, are you awake?"

The only reply was a muffled sound. Continuing on into the king's bedchamber, Loghain found him coming out of the washroom, whiskey bottle in hand. At least it was half full, but that obviously wouldn't be the case for long. Loghain stepped over just in time to catch him as he was about to trip over a footstool.

"Maker's breath, Maric! What is this? What is wrong with you?" He no longer bothered to conceal the fear in his voice.

Maric tried to smile but his face twisted into a mask of pain instead. "Loghain. It's you. Old friend. Help me over there, would you?" The king sloshed the whiskey bottle towards the bed. When they reached it, Maric flopped back and didn't protest when Loghain took his bottle away. Rolling his head on the pillow, the king went on, slurring his words. "They're coming. The witch said it. She said..."

"No. Stop." Loghain sunk into a chair at the king's bedside, his voice pleading and angry. "Don't do this, Maric. That's why they call them witches. You don't have to heed anything she said."

The king mumbled on as though he hadn't heard. "...said I'd hurt them. Cailan wants to be me. He wants to be me, Loghain." That prompted a bout of pained laughter that drifted into more mumbling. "And I hurt her, too. She was good, so good... I should have left her alone down there... should have..." Maric fell into silence, then started up again, waving a hand towards Loghain. "It was always you. She always thought of you. She made a wall and behind it... it was always you."

Loghain drew a tense breath and leaned forward, letting his head sink. Brushing a hand over his eyes, he said wearily, "That's all in the past, Maric. Rowan loved you."

"Loved, yes. Love... shouldn't love..." There was more silence, and Loghain knew without looking that Maric was weeping. "Alistair...at least he didn't know. My boy. My good boy. He won't ever want to be me. I tried with Cailan, too, but he wouldn't listen."

"Cailan is fine. He'll be fine. Don't do this to yourself, Maric, it's pointless. If you want to help Cailan, stop this nonsense." All their lives, Loghain had been telling Maric what he needed to hear, and he was weary of it. The hard truths had seemed more satisfying in their youth than they did now. There was more to look forward to then.

Loghain waited, but Maric said nothing more. He had drifted off into a troubled sleep. Standing, the teyrn looked down at his friend, his king, for a long moment. The witch had saved their lives, helping them escape the usurpers that were hunting them and guiding them through the Wilds, but the price had been to listen to her poison words. Maric had spent hours in her hut and emerged, shaken, never revealing to anyone what the witch had said or done, except that she had warned of a Blight. A few other things the crone spared for Loghain to hear, too. He had overheard her tell Maric that he would hurt the ones he loved and would become that which he hated in order to save that which he loved. She told them both that he, Loghain, would betray Maric if he kept him close, each time greater than the last. Loghain had hoped it all forgotten, but it was obvious now that across the years those words had hunted them both just as surely as a creature of the Wilds stalked prey.

"Nothing is coming, Maric," he insisted, speaking into the darkened room. "It's just shadows and lies. It's nothing."


End chapter seven.

[Sandtigress]

Maric.  :(:(

[SurelyForth]

Sandtigress wrote...

Maric.  :(:(

Yeah, I have to sum that part up thusly: 

[Addai]

Sandtigress wrote...

Maric.  :(:(

I know. 

Like I told SurelyForth, this chapter is brought to you by the letters SAD and by Mad World.

[Sandtigress]

I love that song! And that specific version especially - my friend with the brain tumor introduced me to it, it's his favorite. Always makes me sad to hear it, but it's such a good song.

[Esbatty]

NO!!!!!! I spent the last two nights reading this... damnable graveyard shift... and it ends. *weeps*

I must have more. I'm not one to read Dragon Age fic but damn if this isn't a novel in its own right.*sad panda*

I still have 7 hours of this shift to go. I'm as bristled as Loghain at the mention of Duncan, and I "know" Duncan and still. The characterizations are so spot on and you really fill out the peripheral cast very well, Anya hasn't spoken but a dozen words and I love the idea of her doddering around with Ser Cautherine.

*gushes*

I gotta go raid Deviant Art to keep up this DAO high.

Modifié par Esbatty, 12 octobre 2010 - 05:07 .

[Addai]

Hee, thank you very much for the gushing! Chapter 8 is in the works, never fear. I know all about trying to make it through a shift. The muse will have this story told, so bear with me.

[Maria13]

Ah... Addai, I do like how our stories are meshing my Alistair doesn't want to be like Maric because he dislikes and disapproves of many of the things he did... and your Maric is happy because Alistair will never want to be like him... Hmmm

[Addai]

Maria13 wrote...

Ah... Addai, I do like how our stories are meshing my Alistair doesn't want to be like Maric because he dislikes and disapproves of many of the things he did... and your Maric is happy because Alistair will never want to be like him... Hmmm

The sad irony being that Alistair is so much like his dad, and I think they really would have gotten along famously.  And now I'm verklemmt at work, which is never a good thing.

[Sarah1281]

One thing that's occured to me is that now if Maric still goes off and gets himself killed and then Alistair somehow gets involved (even as just his Warden role from the game) there is a witness to Maric being uninvolved with Alistair not because he didn't care but for the EXACT OPPOSITE REASON. Although I still think he would have been better off if he would have been sent to Rainsfere.

[Addai]

Loghain does say in game that Maric wanted to recognize Alistair. To me that is indication that Loghain thought Maric cared about him, even if he were only extrapolating that based on what he knew of Maric's character.

[Sarah1281]

Alistair wasn't there to hear it, though, and at that point he wouldn't have believed Logahin if he told him that the sky was blue.

[Addai]

Sarah1281 wrote...

Alistair wasn't there to hear it, though, and at that point he wouldn't have believed Logahin if he told him that the sky was blue.

That's certainly true.  Alistair seems to be coming to a bit of peace about his dad when he talks to the Landsmeet about how he wanted to protect Ferelden.  There's also a line, I forget how it triggers, where he says something like "he (Maric) seemed to do alright."

Modifié par Addai67, 13 octobre 2010 - 01:27 .

[Addai]

Chapter Eight

19 Cloudreach, 9:25 Dragon Age.

"Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir of Gwaren, High Councillor to the King, and Teyrna Elissa Mac Tir nee Cousland!"

The hall was already crowded by the time they arrived and the herald had begun to sound bored with his work, but when Elissa and Loghain approached, he put some gusto into it. It had an effect. As the couple stepped forward and looked down into the royal ballroom, every eye turned to stare and there was an audible flush of whispering that sounded like wind through a forest.

"Ever feel like a fox just loosed to the hounds?" Ellie whispered sidelong.

Loghain's grimace curled into a half-grin. "Every damn time."

This wasn't like every other time, however, not for either of them. The king's ball was the first time they were appearing in Denerim society as husband and wife. Elissa had determined to prove what she had once told Loghain, that she could be arm dressing when she wanted to be. She chose dark green silk, and put her hair up with a little more attention than the usual ponytail or sloppy pile. Meanwhile she had convinced her husband to wear his velvets rather than armor. He chose a white silk undertunic with black velvet cape and hose, black boots, and wore a gold livery about his neck bearing the royal and Gwaren seals.

As they stepped into the crowd, stares turned to smiles and Elissa relaxed a little. For better or worse, these were the people she had grown up with and she had cut her teeth on their manner of thinking and talking. It was not difficult to fall into it again. To most of them her marriage to Loghain had been a surprise but one they considered a coup for Highever. There were profuse congratulations, and she overheard Loghain fielding the same. The attention was soon drawn away from them, however, as the herald's voice rose again.

"Prince Cailan Theirin, heir to the throne of Calenhad the Silver Knight, and Lady Anora Mac Tir of Gwaren!"

Elissa turned her eyes up to look along with the rest of the crowd. Cailan and Anora were each splendid-looking on their own, young and polished, but together as a couple they were breathtaking. It was as if a portrait painter had sat down and tried to craft a royal pair that would bewitch the eye. Cailan's long blonde hair was drawn back and he wore white and sky blue silks, matched perfectly to Anora's blue dress. Elissa guessed that Anora had planned the wardrobe down to the last detail. Along with everyone else, she smiled up at them, almost believing the illusion of a perfect crown pair. Everyone wanted to believe in it, and she did as well, though she knew better.

Cailan and Anora made their way through the crowd toward the royal dais at the other end of the hall, and only then did the herald speak up again

"The Savior of Ferelden, His Majesty King Maric Theirin. May the merciful Maker and Andraste his prophet save our king!"

Everyone in the hall, Elissa and Loghain included, knelt as Maric descended and walked past them, boots echoing at a fast clip. After he had passed her, she glanced up, watching as he stepped up on the dais and took his seat. He smiled, waving a hand and saying, "Get up, please, get up. Not much of a party from down there." There was a ripple of laughter in the room as people rose, and in one corner the musicians began to play.

Though the king was his typical easy self, it struck Elissa that he had had to enter the hall without anyone on his arm, and that he alone was not met with smiles and handshakes but in a hush and with eyes downcast. It must be a lonely thing for someone so personable as Maric. Such thoughts had never occurred to Ellie before she herself became so close to the royal circle, but she made a note to ask Loghain later why the king had never taken another queen.

"We can sit on the dais if you like." Loghain was at her elbow, though he kept his hands clasped behind him and didn't touch her.

Ellie smiled and shook her head.  "I think I will mingle, if you don't mind."

"As you wish."

She watched as her husband made his way to the dais and stood by Maric's chair, leaning down to say something to the king. Loghain's expression was the same stern, dignified mask she had grown used to seeing him wear in public. As much as Maric was known for his laconic smile, Loghain was the one who stood by, observant and stern. The stance suited him, but it was strange for Elissa to see him so now. When she first came to Denerim with her parents, she had held the Hero of River Dane in awe and found him not a little scary. Oddly there was still some of that awe and intimidation when she looked at him standing above them all. She had to remind herself that it was the same man who now held her at night, sat at her dinner table and made little jokes with her as they walked through the market.

Ellie did not mind being set alone on the crowd. Though she was not as much of a gossip hound as other noblewomen, she did love conversation. It was like a hunt. You never knew what you were going to find when you batted the hedgerows. There inevitably would be whole thickets of dull posturing and mean-spirited grasping, but every now and again you could shake someone loose who had something unique and worthwhile to say, and that made the exercise worth it. As the guests moved back to allow for dancing in the center of the ballroom, she spotted some interesting quarry along one wall. They were three men, armored and looking out of place, more like misfit guards than guests. The nobles were giving them a wide berth. Ellie made right for them.

"Duncan! I'm surprised to see you here."

The Grey Warden bowed his head, black eyes smiling as he replied, "Teyrna Elissa. It is a pleasure to see you again. Yes, I don't usually come to events like this, but the king made a special invitation and you don't say no lightly to that."

"Well I'm glad, for one. I was worried there wouldn't be anyone interesting to talk to."

Duncan chuckled. "It is kind of you to say so, Teyrna. Let me introduce my companions. This is Erec de Voye, and that is Edwin Hull, both Grey Wardens also."

Elissa curtsied, and one of the Wardens leaned in to Duncan to say, "You were right, Duncan. It was worth getting dressed up to see the beautiful women."

"Mind your manners, Ed. The teyrna here could cut your knees out from under you with that serving knife, for one thing."

The Warden lifted a brow. "Is that so?"

Laughing, Ellie replied, "Not likely. For one thing, I have heard how fearsome the Wardens are. Not that Duncan has consented to show me what he can do, yet. I keep challenging him but he just stands back and watches the practices."

"I'm observing and learning, teyrna. One can always learn new things. I..."

A voice from behind them cut Duncan off mid-sentence. "I see you are familiar with Ferelden's famed Grey Wardens, Elissa." She recognized the voice immediately and tensed. Though Ellie hoped that she would someday be able to be around Cailan without awkwardness, that day had not yet arrived.

"Prince Cailan. Yes, your father introduced me to Duncan."

"You won't find a better warrior in all of Thedas." The prince emphasized this declaration by clapping the Warden commander on the shoulder.

Duncan smiled wryly. "You flatter me, Prince Cailan."

"Not a bit of it. You know you still owe me that story about how you got recruited, Duncan. Father won't budge, he says I have to get it out of you. For now I was actually hoping to steal Elissa. Will you grant me a dance, Teyrna?"

Ellie felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. Glancing around, she realized just how firmly she was caught. Cailan would not take it well if she refused him in front of other people, especially other men and warriors he admired. Yet the fact that she had not yet danced with any man but the prince would not go unnoticed. Feebly she nodded and allowed Cailan to take her hand and draw her out onto the floor.

The eyes on them were palpable as Ellie hesitantly positioned her hands and waited for Cailan to lead. The prince  was not hesitant at all, grasping Elissa's hand and waist firmly, eyes fixed on her as they began to move. "Anora's lessons pay off after all," he said with a smile. Ellie made no reply and he leaned in to whisper, "Don't be nervous. You don't think I would do anything untoward with your husband glaring down at us, do you?"

Ellie did not want to check to see if Loghain indeed was glaring. She could well imagine it, though no doubt her husband was the picture of mildness compared to Anora. Laughing nervously, she answered, "Of course not. I've just never been a good dancer, you know that."

"You didn't dance at all at your wedding, as I recall." That hung in the air a moment. "You looked so beautiful, Elissa. As you do now. You are as beautiful as you ever were."

"Thank you." Elissa's face was scarlet, she knew, but she fought to calm her breath, reminding herself that it was only a dance. As they moved, the prince's nearness had a peculiar effect. It had not been so long since they were lovers, long enough that she had forgotten little details which now came back to her, short enough that the sensations these memories brought her were potent. Ferelden's prince had lively, expressive blue eyes and a sensuous mouth, both of these an attractive compliment to his rowdy masculinity. She caught a familiar scent of orange and sandalwood. Though she knew little of the Orlesian nobility, it occured to Ellie that Cailan's mixture of Fereldan roughness and cultured virility would likely be a sensation among them.

The prince had not been her first. That honor had gone to a squire, later a knight, who had taken her first on top of some feed sacks in the stables. His idea of foreplay consisted of asking "may I, milady" right before he plunged into her, sometimes after he had done so. With Cailan it was different. He had approached her first in Highever, and unlike her knight lover, he was gentle and solicitous. The very things that alienated other men, her irreverence and her athleticism, seemed to fascinate him and stir his sense of adventure. After one such a ball as this in Denerim, they evaded his guard and her parents and stole away, half-drunk. He led Elissa along the secret passages that only the royal family knew, kissing and discarding clothing as they went. They did not even make it back to his chambers before he had her, up against a wall full of cobwebs. Towards morning, lying tangled in his bed, Cailan had spoken about the kingship and his hopes for it, sounding so earnest.

The noblewomen who craved him did so simply because he was handsome and charming, because he was powerful, not even knowing how sweet he could be. Cailan also knew how to tease a thrill from almost any situation. The dusty passageway was neither the most public nor the most unique place they borrowed for trysts. It all made for a heady combination for a young woman who herself was more spirited than careful. For a time Elissa took it to be love and thought herself the luckiest woman in Ferelden. When she began to grow up, to wake up and see what she had done, she found that it was much harder to say no to a prince than to a squire.

Glancing over the prince's shoulder in the crowded ballroom, Ellie took in the people staring at them, and instantly she knew what they were whispering to each other. It was common knowledge in the nobility that she and Cailan had been lovers. They would now all be wondering if Elissa had married Loghain in order to get close to the prince. It was a perfect cover for a liaison. Cailan got to marry Anora, a politically popular and well suited queen to whom he had long been betrothed, but he would have his paramour, too, one who had every excuse to be in the palace. Elissa got to marry the second most powerful man in Ferelden, enjoying prestige and security, all the while keeping the pillow of the future king. All of them, they were watching her now wondering if it was true. They would assume it was true. Cailan should know better, but she could see in the intensity of his gaze that he hoped it was true, too. Elissa cursed herself the fool for not recognizing sooner how it would be.

Pulling back, she broke the embrace with the prince and curtsied awkwardly, only briefly meeting his gaze. "Thank you for the dance, Cailan. You honor me." She didn't wait for a response before she moved off into the crowd, finding a drink table and accepting a glass of wine from a steward.

She was still shakily sipping from her glass when a figure moved up beside her. "Not dancing, Elissa?"

"Your Majesty. Prince Cailan favored me, but..."

"Yes, he's the only man here who dares Loghain's wrath." Maric chuckled. Ellie stole a look at the king and wondered if he could really be innocent of the implications. Perhaps he was just too good-natured to believe anything but the face value of a situation, or he didn't want to see that his son was in a tangle. They were both silent a moment before Maric spoke up again. "If I might make an observation, and if it is not too forward of me, it seems that there is a genuine affection between you and Loghain. Is that true?"

Modifié par Addai67, 15 octobre 2010 - 03:55 .

[Addai]

The question was telling. Perhaps the king did see, and he was wondering what everyone else was wondering: Which man had brought her to Denerim. Nodding, Ellie answered without hesitation. "Yes, it's true. I care for Loghain, and I believe he is coming to care for me."

"Good. That's very good." Maric spoke with conviction. "He's the strongest man in this room, but it only means that he needs you all the more."

Ellie did not know what to say. She was known for her frankness, but hadn't ever been so open with the king before. "Needs me?"

"Yes. Certainly, yes. He might not even know it, but all the more reason he does. Don't let him tell you otherwise, or make you think otherwise by his standoffish ways."

"I will keep that in mind, Your Majesty."

"And since I am making presumptuous demands of you, I would ask you one more. In the days ahead, Cailan will need friends, too. I know there has been some history between you two, though not exactly what. I don't want to know. If you can see your way clear, please just help him, in whatever way you can. Be a friend to him." Ellie was surprised to hear the earnestness in the king's voice. He was pleading with her. Searching for the hidden meanings behind Maric's words, if he was trying to warn her or pry information from her or something more subtle, she soon decided that it was likely that he meant only what he said. Of all the political animals in the room, the king was the least political of them all.

With earnestness of her own, she assured him, "I will try. I am Cailan's friend, for my part. I wish only his good as well as my husband's."

Maric smiled. "I believe you. Loghain is lucky to have you, Elissa. We all are." Shaking his head and laughing, the king added, "The Maker knows, even if no one else does, that it is not the men who keep this kingdom together. It is women like you. You remind me of Cailan's mother, Queen Rowan, do you know that? Has Loghain ever told you that?"

She shook her head. "No, he hasn't mentioned it."

Maric was silent, thoughtful. "Ah. Well, never mind. It's true, and that is a high compliment."

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

The king hesitated, then went on, "I am pushing my luck, but I would ask you two more favors. First, that you would call me Maric. I don't have many true friends in this hall and I would like to think that you are one of them by now. Second, that you might dance with me." At Ellie's surprised look, he laughed and said, "You see, I dare Loghain's wrath as well. But maybe it was a bad idea?"

Ellie answered quickly. "No, it was a fine idea. I would be honored."

Maric took her hand and stepped out onto the floor, then paused and looked up at the dais at Loghain, gesturing in an obvious request for permission. The teyrn was seated, leaning sideways and braced on the chair arm. When he noticed Maric's gesture, his brow lifted. After a pause, his expression turned to a wry grin and he waved a hand expansively. Ellie saw that a joke was passing between the two men even at that distance, as though Maric was the subject and Loghain the emperor giving him a boon.

"You see," Maric turned back to Ellie, laughing, "I dare, but only so much." The king positioned himself and waited for Ellie to do the same. His manner was halting, even shy. "It has been some time since I did this," he explained, earnest with concentration. After a moment, as they maneuvered slowly through the other dancers, he relaxed. "See there, not so bad. I usually don't do this, you understand. It wouldn't be politic. No matter who the lady, people would gossip or assume it meant I was giving favor. But Loghain's wife is a different story. You rather upset the balance of things around here, Elissa."

"I'm... glad?" She laughed, unsure how to take his words.

Maric nodded with a grin. "I think you should be. I am."

Ellie glanced around them, catching the same stares that the onlookers had given her and Cailan. Some of the guests were smiling, charmed at the sight of the king dancing. Others leaned in with puzzled whispers. No doubt there were jealous women, if Maric's dancing hand was indeed so rare. However Ellie could guess that there might be sharper gossip, as well. Seeing her together with Maric, some of these cackling nabobs would no doubt suggest it was not Cailan but his father the widower king that the Cousland tart really was after. Perhaps they would wonder if she was trying for double or nothing. Ellie could imagine the sordid speculations, and Maker, the confusion. She suppressed an urge to laugh, and suddenly found herself having a grand time.

"Are you looking forward to your journey tomorrow, Your Majesty?"

"Maric. That's Maric. And yes, it's been a long time since I've looked forward to anything more. We all need a change, eh?"

"You must hurry back to us, Maric. Loghain will be cranky without you."

"Crankier than usual, you mean," the king replied with a grin. "I would like to say that you'll see more of him with me gone, but I'd be lying. Looking over Cailan's shoulder is even more work than looking over mine."

"He would rather be nowhere else, I think."

Maric regarded her with a wistful smile. "You may change that."

When the music changed and the company began a complicated country dance, the king begged off and returned to the dais. Ellie likewise found herself without partners for a while, since no one wanted to follow the king. Duncan could not be persuaded for any threat or bribe, but the talkative Warden, Edwin, was more pliable. As the evening wore on, Ellie sometimes sat with Loghain on the dais, studiously avoided Cailan and Anora, and danced with a few other noblemen. At last, after much grumbling and the pink ears Ellie had learned were a telltale sign that Loghain was embarrassed, she persuaded him to dance as well.

He was stiff at it, but technically familiar. "Someone has taught you," Ellie remarked, surprised.  He had been armored, and they had been too nervous, too unfamiliar, to attempt to dance at their wedding.

"Did you think me an ox in such things?"

"Maybe." She had to admit it was true, but laughed, and Loghain smiled a little as well.

"Celia. It was Celia. She was a fine dancer."

Elissa accepted no more partners after that. She did notice that a few bold women followed her lead and danced with the king. For whatever reason, perhaps because he was feeling reckless before his journey, Maric was accepting them. Ellie smiled to see it, glad that apparently she had, indeed, upset the balance.

When they finally took their leave and made the walk to their new residence, Loghain remained quiet. Ellie was used to his silences and mostly took them as simply his way, though it often left her feeling the chatterbox. She let him alone that night, however.

At home she could hear Anya snoring in her room, the occasional murmurs of the ever-present royal guard at their doorway, and the chuckle of water from a spillway in the nearby pond. Otherwise the house was blessedly quiet compared to the palace. It was too large to be called a "cottage" by anyone but pretentious Orlesian nobles. The house was also well-made, more modern than the rest of the palace, with fewer echoes and drafts. Elissa guessed that Maric had given them the best apartments in the palace ground in order to keep her happy. After this night she also wondered if his thought had been to spare her having to live down the hall from his son.

As the couple was undressing, Loghain said with an obviously forced casualness, "I saw that you danced with Cailan."

"Yes. He asked me in front of others and I didn't feel able to turn him down."

There was a long pause before Loghain spoke again. He was undoing his belts, and kept his eyes anywhere but on her. "Ellie, these past months I have been flattered by your manner with me. More than flattered, I have been honored. If you ever want things to be otherwise, I simply ask that you be honest with me. It would be wise if you did not renew your relationship with Cailan, but if it is what you really want, I won't get in your way. Nothing more will be said, I..."

Loghain cut off as Elissa approached him. She pulled on his arm and drew him to sit on the bed next to her. He finally did meet her eyes then, and as they regarded each other silently, Ellie begin to suspect something. She had taken her husband's reticence towards her initially as the awkwardness of a forced intimacy, and then as apathy towards her, apathy which was occasionally put aside out of physical appetite. As she reached a hand up to brush the hair back from his eyes, the thought came to her that perhaps Loghain did not understand her interest in him for what it was. Could it be that he did not know how handsome she found him, what the force of his gaze could do to her? She knew he was used to intimidating people with it, but maybe he was unaware that he could stir passion with it as well. Perhaps he didn't see her regard for him, or took it for something less than what had actually been growing in her mind. All of Denerim's gasbags might be wondering if she was just using him, and they were welcome to speculate, but Loghain should not be left to wonder.

He watched her, hands resting on her waist, as she brushed at his temple. "You are a handsome man, husband," she murmured.

"Am I." He sounded skeptical, and amused.

"Yes. You have strong features."

"Strong is a fine way to say ugly."

Ellie laughed and pushed at him, saying, "You are a stubborn beast. Are you going to keep contradicting me?"

"A beast. Now you're getting closer to the mark."

She smiled mischievously, as though she was letting him in on a secret. As she apparently was. "You don't know what strong hands do for a woman?" Loghain regarded her silently, but now his eyes were curious. When he didn't reply, she went on, "Your touch is... very nice. Strong is good. I like strong."

His hands rubbed her waist, voice thoughtful. "I'm glad. I didn't know you felt that way."

Ellie nodded. "I do. My manner with you, as you call it, is not a question of flattery. I am with you because I like to be."

Loghain took a breath, sliding his hands along her back. "I can't say I mind being with you, either. You are a beautiful woman, and very kind to say such things. Why are you telling me this, exactly?"

"I thought you ought to know how I feel about you." She let her eyes roam over his face, picking out details. "Curious that your hair has not gone silver as other men's. Just a few strands here and there."

"My mother's father was the same," he replied. "Black as midnight, though he died at a good old age. Mother thought we might have some elven blood somewhere. They are not supposed to age as humans do. I don't know if that is true, it's just what she thought."

"You look like your mother?"

"I have her hair, at any rate." He paused, then his jaw set and he went on, "The Orlesians killed her. They raped her first, and then they killed her. Did you know that?" Ellie was startled at the sudden turn, but she nodded silently. After a moment he continued in an even voice. "They made my father and me watch. Father fought them and they knocked him out, but I wasn't strong enough. They held me fast and I saw it all."

By this time there was a clenching in the hands that held her waist. Elissa held still, waiting, acutely aware of every sound in the room. Never had he spoken so freely of what happened. She knew it had been something terrible, but could not have imagined how much so. Nevertheless if Loghain wanted to tell her, she would hear it all. What Maric said earlier came back to her, that because Loghain was strong he needed her even more. "Go on."

His eyes had narrowed with the memory, but his voice remained impassive, as though he were giving a simple report. "Mother was crying. She told me that she loved me, told me to close my eyes, and then she begged those savages to please not hurt her son, just not to hurt her son. They didn't. They didn't harm me at all. After they killed her, they left, and I sat with her body until my father woke up. He took one look at her and asked me which direction they went, but I didn't know, so he went off and tracked them on his own. I buried her on the hill above our house. Some neighbors helped, and the women cleaned the blood off the floor. I didn't want to sleep there and they took me in. Father found me three days later. He had killed the Orlesian commander who led the attack and we couldn't go home anymore. We became bandits after that, wanted men."

Elissa swallowed hard. "I am so sorry, my love."

Flinching, Loghain asked sharply, "Why do you call me that?"

She reached up and touched his cheek. "It's what I'm trying to tell you." Her fingers moved across his face and down to loosen the collar of his tunic. Gently she kissed the center of his neck before moving up to his ear, letting her lips trace his jawline. Loghain's hands slid up her back, but she could feel that he was still tense, still wary.

"You can't love me. You don't even know me."

Pulling back, Ellie leaned her arms lightly against his chest and met his gaze. "I could know you if you would talk to me, but you haven't done that very much. Why did you decide to tell me about your mother?"

"You are my wife. You should know how it was." After a pause, he added, more softly, "My mother would have liked you. She said there aren't enough sensible women in the world."

Elissa smiled. "She would also be proud of you, don't you think?" He was silent at that, refusing to commit to such a statement. After a moment's thought, she waded in to what she knew was dangerous territory. There had been an opening, however, and perhaps it was time. "What about Celia? I know you cared for her. Did you love her?"

Loghain hesitated a long while, then extracted himself from her embrace and sat up, huddling on the edge of the bed with his arms on his knees and head low. He sat like that for a few moments more, finally speaking up quietly. "Yes, but there was another woman I loved more. We were forced to part and I married Celia too quickly afterward, maybe for the wrong reasons."

Elissa absorbed this information. And now she knew something else that had been just there beneath her consciousness, beneath the routine of polite familiarity and physical intimacy that they had settled into. "You still think about that woman, don't you?"

"Yes."

"When you're with me?"

"Sometimes." Loghain brushed a hand over his eyes, and Elissa saw the guilt in this gesture. "She was much like you. We never really had a chance. It was never going to be."

"Who was she?"

He paused a beat before he answered. "I'm talking about Rowan. It was during the war, and by the time the usurpers were gone, we had ended it."

Ellie's eyes went wide. "Queen Rowan?"

Loghain nodded. "That is what she became, yes. She was betrothed to Maric as a child." Sitting back, Elissa let this sink in. He had loved the woman who became Maric's wife, and both of them had not only borne this, they had remained friends despite the fact that even now, years later, Loghain was still thinking of her. Had there been rumors? Yes, Ellie remembered something like that being said, but hadn't paid much attention. People told so many stories from the time of the rebellion, and most of them were rubbish.

After a moment Loghain looked up, and in the dim of the spare light Elissa could see the pain in his eyes. He spoke with a muted bitterness. "There you have it. That's the whole sordid tale. You wanted to know about me, and there it is. I sent the woman I loved to marry another man because duty demanded it."

"It's not sordid. Not sordid at all. It's just sad, and I'm sorry for all of you. I don't know what else to say."

"Rowan never forgave me. I loved her, but the country needed her. Maric needed her."

"You said that I remind you of her?" At his nod, Elissa paused. This was a risk, but she felt that he was practically begging her to ask it, so she did. "Have you ever considered that perhaps the Maker is giving you a second chance? With me?"

His tone was pained. "Don't toy with me, Ellie, I beg you."

She eased him back against the headboard, leaning on his chest and trying to catch his eyes with her own. "I am not toying with you. I am not Rowan, but I do care for you. If you care for me, perhaps there is a chance for us to have something. Maybe not what you had with her, but something, at least. Do you feel anything at all for me?"

Eyes feverish, Loghain reached up to touch her hair. "It doesn't matter, Ellie. I told you what happened to my mother, how I could not save her. I told you what I did to Rowan and what that made me do to Celia. Do you want something like that to happen to you, too? Even if it doesn't, my duty will always interfere. I will keep my promise and keep our marriage, but you should choose another man to love."

"There is a problem. I have chosen you."

Loghain shook his head, closing his eyes and saying wearily, "Don't. Please don't."

Grasping his hand, she continued. "Is it because so many terrible things have happened that you think only something bad can come of our marriage? Maybe it will and maybe it won't, but there is good here, too. This is good. I'm here now." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Loghain remained stiff at first, impassive, but eventually his lips parted and he accepted the kiss, pulling her closer.

When they broke it at last, he whispered roughly, "It is good. I won't deny that."

Elissa smiled. "See. And this is good." Her kisses teased along his neck. Loghain fought her for a time still, only giving her just the next inch of himself, but neither did he pull away. Finally Elissa drew back, watching him. She would not force him, not even with tenderness.

"I just want to say one thing." Loghain's voice was hoarse with emotion or desire, perhaps both.

For her part, Ellie felt both, and there was now added to it a tug of anxiety as she waited. "Yes?"

"I am not the only stubborn one here."

Elissa paused with surprise, then laughed. Before she could say anything in reply, Loghain caught her up and kissed her, hunger and decision in his manner where before had been hesitation. He reached to tug at her laces. Slowly and methodically, they undressed one another, Ellie caressing each ripple of muscle and scar with careful attention. He allowed it for a time before pressing her back on the bed and drawing his lips across her skin in deliberate slowness, pausing at her sensitive points, finally coming to rest between her thighs where he resumed his attention.

Later, Ellie would come to think of it as their true wedding night, when they married each other not for what everyone else wanted of them but for what they chose for themselves. In unspoken agreement they had decided to trust one another for more than just their political standing, and to allow some hope for their future. It was a night she would hold on to. It was also the night before everything changed.


End chapter eight.

Modifié par Addai67, 15 octobre 2010 - 04:01 .

[Sarah1281]

So I've thought about it and came to the conclusion that this

has nothing on the ending of your chapter.

(But I'm getting worried about what Chapter Nine will bring.)

[Addai]

LOL! I think I've probably lost Costin and KoP for sure by now. But, there has to be some fluff. Tough road ahead, we all know that.