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[kyles3]

this is so well-written and true to the DA universe that i finally got up off my ass and registered my games so i could tell you that. thank you for sharing this with us.

[EnchantedEyes1]

I have a few more chapters to read to catch up but I just loved your latest one! You capture the nuances so beautifully. Thank you!

[Addai]

kyles3 wrote...

this is so well-written and true to the DA universe that i finally got up off my ass and registered my games so i could tell you that. thank you for sharing this with us.

Wow, thank you. 

[Addai]

Chapter Eleven

"I take it the boy's father is none the wiser."

Fergus, bristling at Loghain's statement, jumped in before Ellie could reply. "I would like to point out that I'm not a boy."

Ignoring her brother, Ellie answered, "Father knows he's with me. That's all he needs to know." It was her idea to take Fergus out for a bit of fun in one of Denerim's middling taverns, the Hound's Tail. Her rationale was that Fergus was bound to get into trouble if left on his own, but might be satisfied with some supervised rebelliousness. In reality, she simply wanted to spend some time with him before he and her father returned to Highever later that week. Anya would not be left behind, either, and she waited to see the outcome of the negotiations, elbows propped on the back of a chair and chin resting on her hands. Cutha sat next to her, panting and likewise waiting patiently. Obviously he could not miss out on a trip to an inn so auspiciously named.

"I see." Loghain shifted on the settee, his skepticism about the plan obvious. After a moment he gestured towards Ellie's midsection. "And what about...? Should you not be looking out for yourself more carefully?"

Fergus glanced from one to the other, puzzled. "What about what?"

Ellie pursed her lips, giving her husband a warning look. She had not yet told her family about her pregnancy and did not want to start with her younger brother. "Nothing. I've been a bit nauseous on and off lately." That much was certainly true. To Loghain she added, "You could come with us, you know."

He lifted a brow. "Now that would ruin your fun, surely. Wherever I go, I am recognized. I gather that you are counting on blending in with the common element or you would be going to the Gnawed Noble or its like. Not that that place is much better when it comes down to it." After a pause, Loghain waved a hand. "Alright, do as you will. Maker knows that I don't get to forbid you anything."

Smirking at his repetition of words she had thrown at him once during an argument, Ellie gestured at her motley band. "Very well, off then. Have a good evening, my love. Don't wait up for us."

Though plainly dressed, the trio and dog could not really pass for the average commoners. Their clothing was finely made and the mabari also gave them away as wealthy. They might pass for a well-to-do merchant or trader family, however, since Ellie wore leather trousers and boots. Anya looked the part of the Cousland siblings' aunt, clad in her usual plain dress and short boots, unruly brown curls cropped short as always and covered with a headscarf. Fergus had obeyed the instruction to "dress rough" with enthusiasm, wearing mud-spattered riding pants and a shirt with holes in it.

It was dusk as they made their way down Drakon hill, through the wealthier streets that bordered the palace district, and into the more crowded part of the city. Though it was high summer, there was still a chill in the air as the sun was going down. Ferelden was never truly a warm place, not for more than few hours here and there on summer afternoons.

Fergus was in a high mood at getting out from under Bryce's stern gaze for at least one evening. He walked beside his sister, at one point leaning in and asking, "What was that back there, 'my love'? Are you two all kissy now?" He began to make loud smooching noises and continued on in falsetto, "Oh, Loghain, Loghain! You're my hero!"

Ellie batted his arm with the back of her hand, smiling wryly. "Mind your tongue, Fergus. And your manners. Do you want Anya to think you grew up in a stable?"

"Too late," the mage muttered under her breath. She mostly kept to herself around her "betters," as she called nobles with barely veiled sarcasm, but with Ellie and Loghain felt no such compunction.

Fergus turned to look over his shoulder at the attendant. "Anya likes me, don't you? Better than old Smelly Ellie." Though he got no more reply than the mage's dubious expression, the young man was already moving on to another subject. "Hey, you're a mage, right? Why don't you carry a staff?"

"I've got these," Anya replied, holding up her hands. "Staves are for ******."

Jaw dropping, Fergus fell silent, unsure that he had actually heard what he just heard, and in so doing plowed into several passers-by. Finally he laughed and elbowed Ellie. "Aren't you going to tell her to mind her tongue?"

Ellie glanced over her shoulder at Anya, her expression amused. "Just don't go repeating that in front of Father. Or Mother, Maker help us."

"Maker help me, you mean. I'm not completely stupid."

At that Anya mumbled again, but they had reached the inn door so there was no more time for debate. An iron figure of a mabari hung over the door, advertising the entrance to the Hound's Tail. No one seemed bothered by the fact that mabari had no tail to speak of, or else the irony was intended.

They had arrived at suppertime and inside, trestle tables were being set up on the sawdust floor to accommodate dinner patrons. The inn was known for its stewpot above all, and its reasonable prices, so both the better and baser sorts of smallfolk would come there for a meal.

"Mind your purse," Ellie told them as they were herded by a waitress to the end of one of the common tables.
"I haven't got a 'purse,'" Fergus reminded her. "That's what I brought you for."

Almost the moment they sat down, trenchers of stew were slapped down in front of them, and common bowls of pickles and bread set out on their table. Other patrons filled in the chairs next to them, stocky men who judging by the smell were either sailors or dock workers. They gave Ellie appreciative looks, but simply said "m'lady," repeating the same greeting to Anya. Cutha took a spot under the table at his mistress' feet. At Ellie's direction the waitress put down a trencher of stew for him as well.

"Did you grow up in the Tower, Anya?" Fergus asked over dinner. The mage shot a glance from him to Ellie but did not respond. Fergus' brow furrowed. "What?"

"It's not a good subject," Ellie explained.

The mage cut in to reply, "I grew up in Lothering, boy. You ever been to Lothering?" At the shake of his head, she nodded in satisfaction. "Just as well. Armpit of Ferelden. Full of shysters and pissants, and those are the decent folk." Elissa smiled and said nothing. In more unguarded moments her attendant spoke differently about the town, remarking on the beauty of its river and countryside, but she gathered that Anya had experienced less than warm treatment from the people.

"Oh." Fergus fell silent a moment, then pressed, "But eventually you had to go to the Tower?"

"Fergus!"

Anya held up a hand. The men at the table were looking over at them, looking at her especially, but she answered in a calm voice. "What is it you want to know, boy? Did the needle-dick templars drag me kicking and screaming to their big needle-dick tower in the sky? It wasn't like that. I hid until I got tired of hiding, and then I turned myself in. Why do you think they let me back out again these many years later? Because they know I don't want to run."

The boy looked chastened. "I see. Sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."

"It is what it is." Anya returned to her stew and that settled the subject.

After they were finished eating, they got up to let others in, and eventually found spots among the smaller tables nestled against the walls. Anya joined in a game of dice with some tradeswomen, Ellie and Fergus sat down at their own table to a game of doublets, and Ellie stood a round of ale for all of them.

After she and Fergus had started on their second game, a plump woman carrying a tankard of ale made to walk past their table but stopped, eyes fixed on Ellie. After a moment she leaned over to them. "I know you, m'lady. I seen you walking to the Chantry on the night they sang the Chant for poor King Maric. You're the Teyrn's wife, ain't ya? As I live! May I?" She didn't wait for permission before she squeezed in next to Fergus and plopped her mug down on the table. Fergus, pressed up against the wall, gave the woman a sideways look of distaste that was soon drawn towards the crest of bosom spilling out of her bodice.

Trying to stay polite, Ellie kept her voice low. "Please, good woman..."

"So, you're wed to the Hero of River Dane. Pardon me, m'lady, I mean no offense. It's just that me and the girls in the neighborhood was chattin' about how he took himself another wife and a young lady like yourself." Leaning in, she went on in a whisper. "He looks like a mean one, begging your pardon. He doesn't... you know..." She made a slapping motion at the air.

Ellie whitened. "Certainly not!"

"Is that so? Good, good. I'm glad to 'ear it. I didn't think so m'self, never in life. But some of the girls said it, on account of he's always got such a sour look, and 'cause those soldierly types can be rough on a woman. But I said, 'not the Hero of River Dane', not him."

"My husband is a gentleman."

"I'm glad to 'ear it, m'lady, truly," the woman replied, appearing genuinely relieved. She paused and glanced at Fergus, rubbing at her fingers nervously and seeming to weigh what to say next. Finally she leaned in, whispering, "And if you don't mind me askin', how is he... y'know..." When Ellie made no reply, the woman took it for misunderstanding and scooted forward, bosom dangerously close to spilling her ale. "How is he y'know, in the sack?"

Ellie did not know whether to burst out laughing or shout at the woman leave them in peace. If the prattler had been a noble, she no doubt would be asking about Cailan rather than Loghain. At least, Ellie reflected, there was some relief in that it was about the right man. After a pause she decided to indulge the woman a bit, even if not about that particular subject. Despite her presumptuousness, she had a pleasing earnestness in her pretty smile, and Ellie decided it wouldn't hurt to hear what the common people were talking about. "Fergus, go check on Anya," she directed.

"What? No, I want to stay." The lad had apparently decided that it was not so bad being squeezed between a wall and a stack of female flesh, especially with the turn the conversation was taking.

"Go on. See that she's not cheating again over there. I don't want any trouble." Grumbling, Fergus made to go and the curious woman moved aside to let him get out, sliding back into her place and looking at Ellie expectantly. The teyrna gave her a spare smile. "So. I suppose you should tell me your name. You may call me Ellie."

The woman's name was Moira, named for Maric's mother as it turned out, like more than one girl child of her generation. She was a brickmaker's wife. It was easy enough to distract her from embarrassing questions about Loghain by asking about her own husband and children. On that subject, Moira went on expansively. In the meantime they were joined by a third woman, Moira's friend, and over a hand of Antivan Nuns the three women ran through the gossip in the city. It was a great deal about the newly crowned king and his upcoming wedding. Ellie was relieved to find that though Moira's neighborhood tongue-wagging brigade had heard that the new king had "sown his oats," they did not name names, and both her card-playing companions seemed utterly charmed by the queen-to-be. They were certain that the young king ("such a 'andsome one," Moira sighed) would settle down with her now. Let us hope so, thought Ellie to herself as she waited for the deal.

It was late when Moira took her leave, declaring the teyrna "as fine a lady as I've ever met, on my life." Ellie found Anya schooling Fergus in the arts of the dice. He appeared to be enjoying himself immensely either despite or because of being surrounded by women, and despite the fact that he was in hock for six silvers which Ellie was forced to pay out. They passed Moira at the bar and Ellie exchanged cheery farewells with her. After a few paces she stopped, hesitated, then turned back. Leaning in, Ellie whispered in Moira's ear, "Like a bull."

The woman blinked in surprise, and a moment later burst out laughing. "Good for you, m'lady," Moira called after her. "Good for you."

There were still people out on the streets despite the late hour, but after a quarter hour's walking and chattering, Ellie had to acknowledge that she did not know exactly where they were. Denerim's narrow streets, particularly in the poorer areas, tended all to look alike. She was reluctant to ask for directions to the palace district, and at any rate, Fort Drakon was always clearly visible except in the narrowest alleys, so they simply made for it. When they first smelled and then heard the river, however, Ellie began to get worried. They were closer to the alienage than she had supposed. Fewer and fewer people were passing them on the street. There was nothing to do but keep going, however.

It was not long before Ellie had the feeling that they were being followed. She was not truly afraid until she saw figures hopping along the rooftops, and afterward realized that all the other people on the street had vanished. Just as she was about to warn Anya, three men and then another dropped down onto the alleyway in front of them. There were more coming in behind. Cutha began to growl, causing the men to slow their advance but not to stop.

"Uh, Ellie..." Fergus began, finally realizing what was happening. He reached for his belt, where a dagger was sheathed, but Ellie put a hand on his arm to stay him. The last thing she wanted to see was her young brother in a fight.

"You don't want to hinder us, friends," she called out. Ellie's heart was pounding in her chest, but she forced herself to be calm as she had always been taught for battle. "We have nothing that would interest you and plenty that wouldn't. This is a full-bred mabari war hound, for one thing."

"What if what interests us is you, sweet piece?" one of the men sneered, voice echoing in the alley. It provoked ripples of laughter in front of them and behind. They were not going to be dissuaded, then, not even by the mabari's snarling and snapping. The men began to draw rusty, nocked swords and axes out of their belts.

Taking a breath, Ellie murmured, "Anya, have you got anything here?" The mage was a healer, but Ellie had seen her shoot lightning flashes at bothersome insects, and once on their journey from Gwaren, she had tried to bring down a bird for supper. The charred results convinced them that it wasn't the best hunting method, but Ellie was hoping that it might be of some use against bandits.

"Just give me a moment, m'lady."

"All I need is a distraction. The men up ahead, aim there." She was fairly certain that she needed more than a distraction, but it was a start. "Fergus, you stay out of this. Stick close to Anya."

"Give it up and come quiet and no one gets hurt," one of the men was saying to her. "We just want to borrow you for a while, empty your pockets, and by morning you'll be on your way." Another added, "Might not be able to walk so good, though." That brought on more laughter.

"Anya?" Ellie's tone was more urgent. She began to feel the air around them crackle.

"You stupid blighters should've minded your mothers," Anya grumbled. Some of the bandits saw the fire gathering in her hands and cried out "witch!", but too late. As a hail of flame knocked the fore group off their feet and ignited their clothing, Ellie turned and reached down to her boot. A moment later one of the men approaching from behind stopped in his tracks and grasped at his neck, eyes registering confusion at how a dagger had ended up sticking from it. He fell to his knees, while the man next to him was thrown to the ground by the mabari and a moment later had his neck torn clean away in Cutha's powerful jaws.

Then there were only two bandits left standing, gaping at the ruin and at the screams of their fellows running towards the river with hair and clothes ablaze. One of the two remaining men fled in terror, but the other's eyes bugged out with rage and he charged at Ellie. Instinctively she jumped out of the way of his axe, falling back against the building. The man's wild charge then carried him on towards Fergus and Anya.

"Fergus!" Ellie cried, scrambling for footing. He had been watching the burning men in horrified awe, but hearing her scream, Fergus turned in time to sidestep and slash at the man's arm with his dagger. It was an ingrained move, a product of the training in weapons all the Couslands received. The bandit cried out and dropped his axe, clutching at his wounded arm.

"You bastard!" he snarled, spittle flying. Fergus hesitated then, seeming rooted, blood dripping from his hand. The man was stottering to his feet, but by the time Ellie reached for the dagger at her belt, the mabari had freed himself. He showed no hesitation. There was a flash of black past Fergus and Cutha was atop the man, pinning him to the ground and tearing at his scalp.

"Cutha! To me!" Ellie's calls to the mabari went unheeded, however. Only when the man's terrified screams were silent did the hound release him and stand down. The siblings and Anya then stood in a smoking, blood-soaked alley, staring at each other. After the shock was broken, Ellie reached for her brother, hugging him. "You're alright?"

Fergus nodded, returning her embrace. Gradually his shaking subsided and when he released his sister, he turned to Anya. "Fireball? That was amazing!"

"Hmph. What did you expect?"

Despite the bravado in these words, when Ellie looked over at her attendant she saw that she was as shaken as they all were. "Thank you, Anya. You saved our lives." The mage's only reply was a mumbled "m'lady."

People began to appear at windows again, and some brought buckets of water to put out the fires. Eventually the guard made an appearance. Ellie and the others were brought to the nearest post to give a statement. The guardsmen were brusque and official up until the moment they realized they were dealing with the wife of Teyrn Loghain, after which their manner changed abruptly. After a few peremptory questions, the group received an official escort back to the palace.

All of them were subdued. Ellie made a stop at the pond to wash her mabari's maw of blood. "Thank you, old friend," she whispered, as much in awe as in gratitude. She had heard all the stories of what mabari could do. There was a reason that knights and lords coveted them. Cutha gave her his lolling smile and reached forward to lick at her cheek. Ellie smiled, though the hound's loyal affection seemed more serious a thing now than it had before that evening.

Loghain had indeed waited up for them. He had already figured out from Anya's sweaty, bedraggled appearance that something was amiss, and met Ellie at the door as she came in.

"By the Maker, Ellie, what is going on?" he asked, grasping her arms and looking her up and down with concern.
She replied wearily, "We're fine. Some bandits."

"I knew it. I never should have..." A moment later Ellie was crushed against Loghain's chest in an embrace, and she made no protest, slipping her arms around his back. "I know you can look out for yourself, but I could never forgive myself if something happened to you."

She held her husband silently for a time, then kissed at his neck, saying, "Don't worry, Loghain. We sorted it out."

The following afternoon, a messenger came saying that there were templars in the palace requesting the teyrna's appearance, and that her ladyship should bring "the bond mage." When she and Anya arrived at the palace, they found that the templars were with Cailan in his audience room.

The king stood up as they entered. "Teyrna Elissa, I'm so relieved to see you're alright. If only you had allowed some of my guard to accompany you... At any rate, these knights would like to ask you a few questions about what happened. It will be brief." Cailan's tone made it clear that this last part was a command.

The meeting was brief, but only because Cailan cut it off. Despite the templars' officious politeness, it was also unpleasant, especially for Anya. Over and over they questioned whether the attack on the men had truly been provoked. Anya kept her answers short and deferential, though Ellie could see the disdain just below the surface, and felt the humiliation that must lay just beneath that. The mage was more courteous than she had ever seen her, however. It suddenly was clear to Ellie that Anya's good-humored sneering with her and with Loghain was more a sign of trust than of disrespect.

After Cailan had dismissed the templars, he caught Ellie's arm as she was leaving. Voice low and earnest, he urged, "Please, come into my study, Elissa. I need to talk to you. Please."

Ellie sighed, hesitated, then turned to gesture for Anya to wait there. The mage rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, settling in against the doorjamb to wait.

Closing the study door behind them, Cailan turned to face Ellie, his manner shy as he approached. "I'm really glad you didn't get hurt. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."

"Thank you, Cailan." Ellie tried to step back to put some distance between them, but the king closed again and reached for her hand.

"I just wanted you to know that this wedding in a few weeks, it changes nothing."

"Your Majesty?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Stop that, will you? I mean that just because I am marrying Anora, that doesn't change how I feel. About you."

"Cailan, Anora is a fine woman. I think she genuinely cares about you."

"We were friends once," Cailan allowed. "She's changed, though. Even without that, Anora was never like you."

Ellie shook her head, pressing her eyes closed. The warmth in his voice felt like a condemnation. She had told him before that they had to move on, and yet he always found an excuse not to believe her. Loghain talked about how stubborn Cailan could be, but her husband really had no idea. Taking a deep breath, Ellie opened her eyes. "Cailan, you must listen to me. That time is past for us. You must no longer think of me in that way."

"You're worried about your husband." He appeared amused. "Don't worry about Loghain. I know how to handle him. Besides, I don't think he would really mind. Whatever possessed him to go through with this marriage your father got you into, it can't really..."

"You're not listening." Ellie grasped Cailan's arm and gazed up at him, willing him to see the truth. The affection in his eyes almost made her look away, and almost ruined her courage. She pressed on. "What was between us, that is in the past. I don't feel that way any longer."

Cailan hesitated, confused. "I know you said something like that before your wedding, but I thought you were just worried about propriety. About politics."

"I am worried about politics. Aren't you? Didn't you see what they did in the Landsmeet? But that is not the only reason I say this."

The king took a step back, his mouth twisting thoughtfully. One hand came up to his chest and realization slowly registered in his expression. "You're serious. You really don't feel the same for me any longer." He said it as a fact, though looked to Ellie for confirmation. At her nod, Cailan paused, then uttered a short laugh. "I've been a fool, haven't I? Maker's breath, I've been such a fool."

"Cailan..."

He lifted a hand to ward her off, though after a moment it fell. The other hand still rested on his chest. "You don't feel something for Loghain, do you?" It was as though the idea had not yet occurred to him, as though it were impossible. When Ellie didn't answer, Cailan laughed in disbelief and turned away, bracing on his desk. "Holy Maker, replaced by Loghain. That was not something I would ever have seen coming." He sucked in a breath, finally going on without looking at her. "You know, it drove me crazy that day of your wedding, the thought that he had rights to you. The idea of him touching you. He's my friend, but that was too much. My only consolation was that it meant you would be coming to Denerim."

"I never wanted to hurt you."

"No." Cailan's voice was bitter and resigned. "No. I did that to myself." With an obvious effort, the king turned and forced a smile. "I'm sorry, Ellie. Truly, I'm sorry. I've been an ass, and I must have put you in a very difficult position."

Despite her relief, Ellie was cut to the heart by the quiver of emotion in Cailan's voice. It occurred to her that she should be happy that he had finally acknowledged the truth, that she needn't hide it any longer, but instead she simply felt low. "You weren't an ass. You were always kind to me, Cailan, always. Anora is a lucky woman."

He gave a small, harsh laugh. "The only one the Maker is smiling on here appears to be Loghain Mac Tir. It has to be the Maker's favor, if the old man has won your affection with those scowls of his."

Ellie smiled weakly, letting the matter go. "We must make the best of it now, Cailan. I remain your friend, as always."

Cailan's smile was even less convincing. "So we must. You'll excuse me now, Elissa. I have some things..." His voice drifted off and Ellie said nothing more, turning to leave.

That evening, she was to have dinner with her father at the Cousland estate. Fergus had stayed the night at the residence after their ordeal, so Ellie returned there to retrieve him and Cutha.

As they walked, Fergus spoke up, his voice sheepish. "I wasn't much use last night, was I? I know you're supposed to press an attack when your opponent is disabled, but I froze. I'm sorry."

Ellie shook her head. "Don't be sorry. It is one thing to talk about killing a man and another to do it. You've always had a soft heart. That's not a bad thing, Fergus."

"It would have been a bad thing if you'd have died." Ellie made no reply, and after a few minutes silent walking Fergus added, "Could you do me a favor and never, ever say that again? The bit about the soft heart?"

Laughing, Ellie fluffed her brother's hair. "Are you embarrassed at being a soft touch? Don't be. Some woman is going to melt over it someday."

"I'd rather she melt over my muscles of cold, hard veridium."

"Those too."

Over dinner, Ellie decided to get the bad news over with first, relating their experience with the bandits while Bryce listened soberly. He did not berate her for leading them into danger, though Ellie had almost hoped that he would. She had been berating herself about it ever since, and it would have made her feel better to have someone else doing the job for her.

With the unpleasant part out of the way, Ellie took a breath and went on to the better news. "I have something else to tell you, Father. I wish Mother were here, but you'll have to tell her the news yourself. I'll include a letter, of course."

When she paused, Bryce prompted, "Do take your time, Elissa. We'll be back around Denerim next year, for instance."

Ellie laughed, fiddling nervously with her glass. "Well, it's just, you see... I am going to have a baby."

There was a clatter as Fergus dropped his knife in surprise. He burst out in laughter a moment later. "See! You are kissyface."

"Rather more than 'kissyface', pup," Bryce put in. He then turned his gaze on Ellie with a solemn curiosity, remaining silent. The scrutiny made her squirm.

"It's good news, isn't it?" she asked impatiently.

Stirring, Bryce replied, "Certainly. Certainly, a happy thing. I am pleased for you, Elissa."

"You don't look very pleased."

The elder Cousland gestured vaguely. "No, no. I am just surprised, that is all. I had not thought this would happen, certainly not so soon."

The implication was clear to Ellie. No one, not even her own family, believed that she and Loghain had a real marriage. Reddening, the thought crossed her mind that her parents might have even expected, as others did, that she would continue to carry on with Cailan. She knew that political marriages were often cynically made, but it stung her to realize that her parents assumed no better about her. Reaching for her glass, Ellie raised it and spoke with forced cheer. "Well, shall we toast? To the newest Cousland."

"Mac Tir, you mean," Bryce corrected.

Ellie pursed her lips angrily. "Cousland and Mac Tir."

"To Smelly Ellie the Second," Fergus agreed with a raise of his glass, either oblivious or unconcerned about the tension between his father and sister. It was not the first time that the two, both strong-willed, had butted heads.

Bryce raised his glass, though his manner was resigned. At last he spoke, tone careful. "When you told me of this marriage, I admit I did not think it would lead to good things. I put you in the Maker's hands, but have had my doubts about whether it was wise for me to give my consent. Perhaps I was wrong. It seems there will be a bright days ahead."

Cautiously, Ellie relaxed at this. She knew how difficult it was for her father to see her married to any man, and Loghain had especially given him and Eleanor pause. Smiling, she lifted her glass again. "Brighter days."


End chapter eleven.

[Esbatty]

Emotional rollercoaster, and yet I don't want to get off. AGAIN! *claps*

[Sandtigress]

Anya reminds me a lot of Fiona. :-P

[Addai]

Sassy mages rock.

[mousestalker]

Addai67 wrote...

Sassy mages rock.

QFT.

What a great story so far! Very much looking forward to the next chapter.

[Esbatty]

Upon re-reading the scene with Cailan (I don't have the heart to read the darkened street moments), the Theirin men are really - it'd be harsh to say needy, they crave love. You really get that across for him. My only exposure to Cailan is Ostagar and the end of The Stolen Throne so its, so all I can do is extrapolate him from Alistair and Maric. Cailan is just so beloved a King, he has an entire nation to love him but you're writing him before he has the power, before the responsiblity sets in. He is still this - burgeoning young prince enjoying his youth and his - oat sowage.



And so this made Loghain thoughts at his wedding all that more hit home with Cailan's reaction. Loghain and Maric are "at it again" with the game of love. Ow.

[Addai]

Chapter 12

11 Haring, 9:25 Dragon Age.

A recruit to the Denerim arlingsguard, feeling testy that he had to pass muster with a woman, had once told Ellie that she 'sweat like a man.' She took it for a compliment and thanked him, right before she cut him off at the knees.

Since her belly had come to resemble a feastday goose, however, the fact that even in freezing cold weather she was sweating in places she couldn't reach seemed to be some sort of revenge on the recruit's part. Nevertheless she was determined to get some exercise, even if it was as aimless as waddling through the snow of the palace gardens. She had chased away two maids and Cailan's minister of the treasury who came out to tell her how unwise it was for a woman in her condition to be traipsing around in the snow. Finally Ellie was forced to agree with them, however, and slipped into the stables to warm up. As it happened, just then a man rode up who had a pouch slung over his shoulder emblazoned with the laurel wreath of Highever. Ellie made for him immediately.

"You're the message rider from Highever, aren't you?"

The man had just dismounted and was beginning to loose the straps of his saddlebags. If he was startled at being accosted by a heavily pregnant woman, he recovered quickly. "Yes, m'lady, just come in," he answered, then paused and looked at her more closely. "You're Lady Cousland? Ah, pardon. I mean Teyrna Elissa. I've got your letter here, mi'lady."

Ellie smiled, waiting as the man pulled out his waxed leather pouch and undid the laces. "You and your fellows are being put through paces these days, aren't you? And in such terrible weather. I am sorry. My mother thinks that by writing me every week, her grandchild will come out sooner."

The messenger gave an embarrassed grin. "It's good work, mi'lady. I've two young ones myself and they seem to need new shoes oftener than Her Ladyship writes her letters. Tristan Falley's the name, if you please."

"You'll have a few extra sovereigns to take home this time then, Tristan," Ellie replied, handing them over in exchange for her letter. "My father makes it worth your while, I trust?"

"Oh yes, mi'lady. Much better than the Amaranthine route, where I normally ride when there's not so much work from Highever. Arl Howe doesn't know two silvers is allowed to rub together, thinks they can only come one at a time. Your father's a fine man, though. As fine as they come."

Ellie laughed, thinking of her own dealings with the Arl of Amaranthine, who had been determined to see his son presiding over Highever. Her marriage to Loghain had soured more plans than just Cailan's. "You left Father and Mother well, I trust?"

"As near as I could tell, mi'lady." Pausing, he asked, "Is it true they tried to make Teyrn Cousland king?"

"Some had the notion."

The man looked thoughtful as he removed his hat and began shaking it free of snow. "It's a shame it didn't carry, mi'lady. A real shame. We'd all be better off if it had."

Ellie lifted a brow, surprised at the frank admission that the errand rider had such little confidence in Ferelden's new king. Leaning in, she replied in a low voice. "It would be better not to say so outside of Highever, good man. Nor in my father's hearing, either."

"Ah of course, mi'lady, don't pay me no mind. One wants for company on the road and here I am, talking your ear off."

Patting him on the arm, Ellie gestured towards the palace. "Go on and warm yourself. I think I smelled cinnamon cake when I passed the kitchen windows."

Ellie soon found a spot where a sunbeam cast across some feed sacks and hoisted herself up. She shifted back and forth, searching for a comfortable sitting position, until she finally she remembered that there was no such thing these days and turned to her letter. Her mother wrote so often, a little every day, that there was little for her to report. This time when Ellie opened the seal, however, a smaller slip of paper fell out that had Bryce's handwriting on it.

For a few moments Ellie simply stared at it. She had taken her father's apparent disappointment at the news of her pregnancy hard. It was a bitter thing that she had done everything she thought people wanted of her, the thing she thought was best for her family, and in so doing had seemingly lost the respect of the one man she most wanted to please. It was also baffling. There had been no further opportunity to talk with him before he and Fergus returned to Highever, however, and in all of Eleanor's many letters, this was the first time there had been something in Bryce's own hand. Fingers shaking, Ellie opened the seal.

My dearest daughter,
Your mother will strangle me if I delay the messenger, so I must be brief. Know that you are in my thoughts every single day. We will come again to Denerim as soon as the weather allows it. Eleanor tells me that we may be grandparents not long after Wintersend. I am overjoyed that you are healthy and well. Mother also thinks that you sound happy. Is it true, dearest? Do not be angry with me for my surprise. Since the day I saw you take Gwaren's cloak, it has been a hard thing for me to think that you might never know what your mother and I have with each other, and that I was responsible. I did not expect that you should be with child so soon. It gave me little joy to think that you sought your husband's heir out of duty alone. Eleanor tells me that I am a blind fool to think that that is how it is. Elissa, make me a happy father and tell me that she is right. Don't worry about hurting my feelings. It will not be the first time that I'll have been a blind fool, nor the last either I'm sure.

Fergus sends the usual uncouth greetings, etc.

Your loving father, B.C.

There were tears in Ellie's eyes long before she had reached the last line, though she laughed as she folded it and stuffed it in her pocket. If her father had been blind, so had she. It had been foolish of her to assume that her father was thinking of anything but her happiness. Other noblemen considered it a failing of his that he had allowed her daughter to grow up so freely, so "mannishly" as one had put it. Bryce had never seen it that way, and had always considered her feelings. Regret cut her as she realized she might have been more frank with him at the time of the Landsmeet. It was difficult to explain to others what had happened between her and Loghain, however. No one expected it, and even when told they had difficult to believe it. There was a reason why the rumors about her and Cailan were so persistent. Sometimes she did not believe it herself, and the love growing between them still felt fragile. Nevertheless her father would at least hear her mind on the subject, if it would put his fears at ease.

Loghain had had maneuvers that morning, but Ellie decided to see if he had returned so that they might eat their midday meal together in the palace. As she passed the door to Cailan's study, her footsteps slowed. She could make out the sound of shouting even through the thick wooden doors. Whatever was going on, it was nothing she wanted to be any party to, however, so after a moment Ellie hurried past. She had not gotten very far before the study door opened and slammed shut again.

"Teyrna Elissa!"

Ellie winced, but had no choice but to stop at Anora's summons. The new queen's tone was urgent and she was also obviously trying to keep her voice down. Turning, Ellie replied evenly, "Queen Anora. Good afternoon." Anora had wasted no time in closing the distance between them. With a quick glance at Elissa's spherical middle section, the queen leaned in and grasped her arm. This was so unexpected that Ellie flinched. She and the queen rarely spoke, and this sudden attention could bode nothing good as far as Ellie could see. "Anora, is everything alright?"

"Everything will be alright if you remember the terms of our agreement."

Glancing around, Ellie lowered her voice. "There were a number of those. Which terms do you mean?" Ellie noticed that a strand of hair fallen loose at Anora's temple. It fell distractingly across one blue eye and Anora brushed it back quickly. It was only one strand, but this was still disconcerting. She had never seen Anora with so much as a single hair or pore out of place.

The queen replied in a terse whisper. "You will say nothing about my involvement in your marriage negotiations. It was at your initiation, yours and your father's. That is what we agreed on."

Ellie frowned, startled at the near panic in Anora's voice. Her own tone was cool. "I remember."

"Good." Anora took a breath and straightened, casting a glance back at Cailan's study. Looking to Ellie once more, she added, "Please remember, Elissa, that I can still be a valuable friend to you here in the palace."

And a dangerous enemy, Ellie supplied on her own. She was growing impatient. "It is not in my interest for anyone to know the true circumstances of my betrothal to your father, Anora. My queen." She had kept her tone mostly civil, but this last was said with a sharper edge.

Anora regarded her searchingly. Finally she nodded, though before she could speak again, the study door opened and Cailan stepped into the hall. He appeared livid, eyes moving from Anora to Ellie and back again. Ellie wanted nothing more at that moment than to crawl in a hole, if she could find a hole that would fit her. The queen turned, said nothing more, but shot Ellie a warning glance before retreating at a fast clip. Cailan was advancing as quickly as Anora was stalking away, the two of them catching her in a vise. For a helpless moment Ellie let her head fall back and stared up at the ceiling cornices, feeling like she might faint. No such luck.

Cailan stopped in front of her and put his hands on his hips. He paced, a little smile on his face that looked more unsettling than his angry scowl had been. After an agonizing span, he finally asked, "You knew about this? You were really in on this, too?"

"What are you talking about, Your Majesty?"

He chuckled bitterly, then paused, doubt appearing in his expression. At last he put a hand on her arm and gestured towards his study. "Come inside."

"I really should..."

"Come inside. Now."

The king's tone left no room for refusal. Ellie jumped as the door slammed behind them, and began to undo her wraps, which felt suddenly cloying despite the draft that was everywhere in the palace. Her voice sounded small when she spoke. "Cailan, I don't know what this is about, but if I can help you in any way, I will."

He was silent a long while, pacing. When he finally spoke, it was in the lost, hurt tone that Ellie had heard before, the one which made her want either to hug him or slap him, depending on her mood. "I would have made you my queen. I would have done it, no matter what they all said, even Father."  When she made no reply, Cailan turned. His gaze fell briefly to her rounded stomach before he lifted it and went on, his voice taking on an edge of controlled anger. "I've had reports, Elissa, that Anora was involved in setting up your marriage to Loghain. Rather, that her agents were. They are reliable reports. The sort of reports a king has access to, though not a prince too gullible to think that his betrothed and his lover might be conspiring behind his back."

Ellie's throat constricted. It had always been a risk they reckoned with, though Anora had assured her again and again that she was careful, that she was much better at this sort of thing than Cailan was, that her messengers were trustworthy and discreet. It had been easy to believe. Loghain's daughter was the sort of person who made you believe she could do anything she set out to do. Ellie now had a decision to make. It was a painful one, the sort of decision that she knew, if multiplied, would make her less of a person. At the same time, it was easy. She was a daughter of Highever so integrity would always mean something to her, but politics was a mask Ellie had learned to don when necessary. It was easy because it was what had to be done. "I don't know anything about this, Cailan," she lied coolly, evenly. "The marriage to Loghain was my father's idea and mine. I have explained to you why we did it."

"Gwaren, Highever, politics," Cailan recited dismissively. He took a step towards her and studied her face. Uncertainty warred in his expression, and he went on in a low voice. "I did wonder, why you. Of all the noblewomen Loghain could have married to give him an heir, why you. Of all the things you could have done to secure Highever, why marry him, a man who doesn't love you? You could have been queen, I told you that when you gave yourself to me right here in this palace. Did you not believe me?"

Ellie's mouth was dry. "I was getting older, Cailan. If I had waited and you changed your mind..." Her voice trailed off. She did not dare to look at him, but could feel the king's eyes boring into her.

His voice was soft. "Well I know it can't be that you wanted to be closer to me. You've made that very clear." Finally he turned his back on her, gazing into the fire of the parlor hearth. "My father hated politics. He hated being king, truth be told. He once said 'to play this game is to lose, at least to lose yourself.'  Do you believe that?"

Nothing she said now could help her, so Ellie just shook her head and braced against a chair. Her feet ached mightily, but if she sat now, it would hinder what she most wanted to do, which was to flee. Cailan was coming back around to face her. He leaned in so close that Ellie thought he might kiss her. She caught a whiff of whiskey as His  hand came up and his thumb brushed across her cheek. When she hazarded a glance at his face, Ellie saw that the blue eyes she had once thought so mesmerizing were dancing with what looked like a feverish glee. His tone had turned resolutely confident. "It is a game I am going to win, Elissa."

As Cailan straightened and let his hand fall, his air triumphant, Ellie could only nod numbly. "You will make a fine king, I'm sure of it," she managed.

"Ha!" His laugh betrayed some of the pain that might have escaped someone who did not know him as well as Ellie did. "A fine king, you say. A great king, I say. It's in my blood, isn't it?" Chuckling again, he veered towards a bitter mischievousness as he gestured at Ellie's middle. "You know what they're saying, don't you? They say you're carrying a royal bastard."

Ellie had remained mute, deferential, but at this she raised her eyes with a warning look. Keeping her tone as light as she could, she answered, "You'll correct them in that impression, of course."

Cailan laughed airily. "You know how gossip is, Elissa. It has a life of its own. I wouldn't worry about it. When they smack his bum, your baby is going to scream 'damn Orlesians' and then everyone will know who put him in your belly." That joke seemed to please him immensely and he turned to reach for the whiskey bottle on his table as if to celebrate.

Ellie waited a moment, then said firmly, "Cailan... Your Majesty, I am tired. I would like to return home now. I'm sorry that these false reports upset you, but I assure you that that is all they are."

Cailan waved a hand over his shoulder, dismissing her. "Goodbye, Elissa." She had a last look of him framed in winter sunlight, head bowed, before the study door closed.

Without a second thought Ellie abandoned her idea of seeing Loghain that afternoon. He would get out of her what happened and she did not how he would react. There was danger here for all of them. Whatever happened, Cailan and Loghain must remain friends, for the good of the country. She did not want to be in the position of making Loghain choose between his duty to Cailan and her. For one thing, she was not sure who would win.

Later on, when Ellie woke from a fitful nap in a foul mood, she had little recollection of how she had gotten home. There was something about stumbling on an ice patch and crashing into the snow bank on the edge of the path, and afterward lying like a turtle on its back unable to rise on her own on the icy ground. It had required two sentries to do the job and then escort her home to make sure it didn't happen again. Surely she had dreamt that, if not the entire sorry afternoon.

Loghain did not return home for dinner, so Ellie ate alone and afterward took a bath with Anya's help. The mage was short-tempered in most things and did not put up with Ellie's grouchiness either, but was nevertheless extraordinarily patient in such humble tasks. She seemed genuinely interested in, even happy about, the baby, reminding her mistress that it would all be worth it in the end. That improved Ellie's outlook somewhat, though she was still subdued when Loghain came into her suite that evening.

He stood in the doorway, looking in on her where she sat wrapped in blankets on the window seat, her parents' letters on her knee. "Ellie? Not feeling well? Anya said as much." Without waiting for an answer, Loghain went to the hearth and crouched down to feed it. Apparently just bathed himself, his hair was damp and loose, and he wore a wool tunic and drawstring pants as was his usual wintertime night clothing.

Ellie glanced up at him and then back at the icy windowpane. It was the coldest and darkest spot in the room and she couldn't see out the window anyway, but somehow the dismal perch suited her mood. Her voice was reflective. "Do you ever wonder if we made a mistake?"

Loghain shot a glance at her over his shoulder and did not answer for a moment. "I've made many mistakes. Which one are you talking about?"

"Our marriage."

He pushed the hearth gate back into its place and stood slowly. Turning, he came to the window and regarded her silently before easing back into the small space left at her knee. "I have thought that on occasion," he admitted, not looking at her.

It was not the answer Ellie wanted to hear, though she was not surprised. As she sat at the window that evening she had replayed her confrontation with Cailan again and again, and spent a good while second-guessing the events of the whole previous year. It seemed possible that in the end she would not have helped her family at all, only made things worse for everyone. In the weeks that she was negotiating with Anora's messengers, the thought that she and Anora were drawing Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir into their mess had troubled Ellie least of all. That was when she cared only about what he could do for her and not about the man himself.  Soon a child would be introduced into the fix, as well.

Ellie's voice wavered as she spoke up again. "Do you think that way now?"

Loghain turned to look at her. In the relative dark of the window seat, she saw only his profile and a glint of blue eyes. "If it was a mistake, it's my favorite one."

A little sob wrenched up involuntarily in Ellie's throat and though she tried to fight it, her shoulders shook. Loghain reached over a hand and brushed at the tears on her cheek with a roughened thumb. "Don't cry," he hushed her. After a pause he went on. "Obviously if you are thinking about this, then you consider it a mistake. You're probably right. I'll do whatever I can for you and our child, Ellie, whatever is in the bounds of my duty. Tell me what you want."

She hesitated, not wanting to talk when it might come out as a blubber. Finally she answered softly, "Would you spend the night with me? You don't have to, you know... I mean, I don't expect..." Ellie was fairly certain that she looked as hideous as she felt, and they had not lain together in several months. Apart from her self-consciousness, the physics themselves were too daunting. At the very least, however, she did not want to wake up alone.

Loghain expelled a breath and his shoulders relaxed. "Is that all?" His smile flashed. "I think that can be arranged."

With his help, Ellie managed to extract herself from her blankets without tripping on them or on her nightdress. If she were on her own, she would then likely have flopped back on the bed like an overloaded pack oxen, inclusive of the grunts and groans, but made an effort this time to be more delicate about it. Loghain circulated the room to douse the lamps before joining her, sliding in under the covers and putting an arm over her belly. His hand rubbed across the slope where the baby was pulling her skin as taut as a bursting flour sack.

"He's going to want out of there soon, isn't he?" Loghain asked, grinning.

Ellie grimaced. "Thank the Maker. I can't take much more of this."

"You're doing beautifully." At her snort of laughter, he insisted, "I mean it. I know it is difficult. Celia never complained, but I could see it."

Pursing her lips, Ellie reflected on the fact that Loghain's first wife had not been trained as a warrior, yet apparently had had more fortitude than she did. The limitations and discomforts were not the only thing on her mind as her time drew near. Ellie was afraid of the birth, too, not only of the pain but of the fact that births were always dangerous. That was not something she would admit to her husband, however. It was not really her own life that worried her the most, but the idea that the little person she was carrying was at risk, too, and was depending on her. Placing a hand over Loghain's larger one where it rested on their baby, Ellie forced a smile. "It will be over soon, one way or another."

His expression grew serious. "I am going to help you, Ellie. I was not much help with Anora, but I shall try to do better this time. You might end up wishing I kept my nose out."

Turning her head, Ellie's smile softened and she reached over to brush the hair back from his face. "You did alright the first time, too. Anora is a brilliant woman, Loghain. Tough, smart, capable. A lot like her father."

His soft chuckle sounded unconvinced and regretful. After a pause he spoke up again, hand moving across her middle. "Would you lie with me, Ellie?"

Startled, she fumbled, "I don't know..."

"I shouldn't have asked, I suppose."

"I want to," she assured him quickly. "I just don't know... I mean..." Gesturing at her stomach, Ellie assumed that that explained everything.

Hesitating, Loghain went on in a careful tone. "If it is a matter of how it might be done, I think I can help there."

Ellie lifted a brow, curious but also hopeful. He had been married to a pregnant woman before, after all, so he was more experienced in this than she was. If he wanted to try, then she would not stand in his way, even if she ended up embarrassing herself. "Alright," she replied, still wary.

"Just be at ease, Ellie. We'll stop if you change your mind."

This instruction was easy enough to follow after he leaned in to kiss her. They took their time with this, Ellie realizing how much she had missed even this simple closeness. When his hand moved to her breast, she flinched at the tenderness, but Loghain adjusted, cupping gently rather than his usual kneading, and Ellie relaxed again. The tension returned when he began to pull at her nightdress. She would just as soon have kept everything but the necessary parts covered. Apart from how difficult it was to get clothes on and off and the chill in the room, she did not want him to see her body so misshapen. Nevertheless she reluctantly cooperated. Some minutes later, as Loghain's mouth moved gently across the strained skin of her stomach, the warmth of his lips a peaked contrast to the cold air, Ellie's head fell back and she became enormously grateful for her exposure. She closed her eyes as his hand moved between her legs, finding the right places despite the fact that everything was more crowded.

By the time he gently began to turn her, easing her to her side, Ellie was more interested than ever in how they might make the operation a success. Loghain had also removed his nightclothes and she had caressed him as well, though even in this she felt awkward. It was difficult in her frame of mind to think of herself as anyone's lover. Her husband seemed grateful enough for the attempt, however. Consoled both by his arousal and by his confidence, she let him ease in behind her. For a time Loghain resumed simply touching her, mouth applied to her neck and ear in gentle though ever more heated kisses. Both of them were eager as he pressed his hips closer, lifting her leg and sliding his own leg between hers. Ellie held her breath when she felt him about to enter her, amazed that they were actually going to be able to do it. She gasped at the familiar, singular sensation of him sliding into her, then again when he lifted her leg slightly and found even deeper seat.

Both of them were breathing heatedly, though when Loghain did nothing but make small movements with his hips, drawing an arm across her to hold her firmly against him, Ellie let her body ease back and her mind roll away. Incoherent impressions of herself and of him and the baby that neither of them had seen flitted through her mind, more as emotion than true images. It was so, so good, all of it, and though the terror of losing it was still there, for the moment that was servant and not master. It just made her want to hang on to the good all the more.

The cold in the room finally brought Ellie back to the moment, as did the arresting feeling of Loghain rocking more vigorously in her. She could tell from the tension of his occasional groan and the tremble in his arm that he was trying to master his response, and guessed that he was doing it mostly for her benefit. There was little Ellie could do to help him, but she put her arm over his and used the leverage to turn slightly, giving him freer access to her. He took the encouragement immediately, being then beyond any ability to do otherwise. After his own finish, Loghain quickly eased her back and resumed the work of his fingers. Ellie could not reach to guide him in this, and it was difficult enough just to breathe, so she simply let him find his own practiced pattern. This he did patiently, artfully, kissing at her breasts, at one point whispering that she was more beautiful than he had ever seen her. She did not believe him, but Loghain did not often engage in bed talk and when he did so, it had always seemed sincere. His eyes burned this time when he said it, so Ellie had to take it for an inexplicable reality. Encouraged by this, she lay back and permitted the sensations that wanted to roll over her to have their way. It was not long before they did, taking her in a long, slow wave.

When Loghain returned to her side, he paused to draw the blankets over both of them, fiddling to get them up to her chin, before he settled in next to her and laid an arm over her side. They looked at each other in the darkness, exchanging a smile. Ellie then decided something. Voice raspy with sleep, she asked, "When the baby comes, will you be nearby?" Already she had learned her husband's pattern of disappearing into his work when something unnerving was going on. She had determined that she would not demand otherwise of him just because they were going to have a baby, but if what had just happened in their bed was any indication, Loghain could be helpful in surprising ways. He also had a way of calming her as no one else could.

Hesitating, he finally nodded though he sounded worried. "I will try. You don't want me to assist in the actual event, do you?"

That prompted a small laugh. "No, of course not. We'll call the midwife, that elven woman in the palace. I don't care if Anora doesn't like her, the other women speak highly of her abilities. Anya says she has also attended births." Ellie closed her eyes. The events of the afternoon and the doubts it had caused were still nagging at her, but at that moment these were even less real to her than something else which troubled. Her eyes opened once more. "I'm hungry."

Loghain laughed, understanding immediately that this was a command rather than a simple declaration. With amused resignation he left the warm covers behind. "I shall be but a moment, mi'lady."


End chapter 12.

Modifié par Addai67, 07 novembre 2010 - 06:15 .

[mousestalker]

Ye gods, but you can write!

[Esbatty]

Chapter 12 is a culmination of so much. Cailan is like this haunting spectre of youth that is now this almost palpable force in Ellie's life. I was damn worried, and felt helpess, when he was drinking and confronting her.



And the crazy thing is Anora is still flitting at the edges of all this nudging things along and now she's taking a more direct hand especially with Cailan as he is.



Loghain - well he is just a sweetheart now, well sweeter at least. I have grudging respect for him, especially since he has accepted a second chance to have a true family.



Elissa is just too fantastic. She is, I don't know, I'm too attached.



I cannot thank you enough for writing The Arrangement. It was the first piece from the creative section of the forums I dared to read because the title of the thread was just too enticing. To see Loghain as anything but what was presented in the game, but the way you weaved in the novels. The novels have to be my favorite parts of the Dragon Age world, so you hooked me for the whole ride.



So yes, I love this story, I love your writing, and you make my days here at work so much more pleasant. And I am actually glad you play yo-yo with my emotions, thats probably the biggest compliment I can give.

[Addai]

Thank you guys, glad you liked the chapter. And anything to make the workday go by faster. Why do you think I hang around BSN so much. :happy:

Modifié par Addai67, 07 novembre 2010 - 06:08 .

[roundcrow]

I am so looking forward to more of this.

[Addai]

roundcrow wrote...

I am so looking forward to more of this.

  Thank you!

I wish I was more prolific- two chapters a week would be great, but just can't manage it.  Hopefully the quality is better for it.

[CalJones]

There's no point forcing it - slow and steady wins the race. And it makes for a nice weekly treat.

[Addai]

Chapter 13

Wintersend, 9:26 Dragon Age.

Cailan made a show of shuffling the papers in front of him before he spoke, though Loghain knew he had likely not read them at all. The chances were good that Anora had drawn them up for him and that they would be tossed in the fire later. "Now on to our final matter and the most important." The king shoved the papers aside and stood, walking around the corner of the long council table. "I want a survey of our military readiness. It's been a long time since we had one, so it should be done straight away. The forces of each arling and teyrnir are to report and present for inspection. Loghain, I want you to carry this out. You should leave at once."

There was a heavy silence in the room. All of the ministers knew that after many years, the Hero of River Dane was expecting another child. Eyes rested on Loghain. In a few cases, the stares were accompanied by veiled smirks. In the court, rumors persisted that the baby Loghain's wife was expecting was not his but the king's. How convenient, then, to send the husband on a long journey when the royal bastard was born, and to announce this at a meeting where the queen was not present. It especially delighted those who had always been jealous of the trust Maric placed in him. Loghain respected some of these court men, even had a bond with a few of them, mostly those who also had known a soldier's life. Others, however, were always ready with daggers at his back. A potential rift between him and the king gave room for others to gain influence. Loghain remained still.

After a long pause when no one spoke, the minister of the treasury finally lifted a finger. "Your Majesty, I do believe that the teyrn's wife is heavy with child. I have seen the lady myself here in the palace. Would it not be better if someone else were charged with this task?" Tallard, at least, was apparently innocent of the rumors. He seemed genuinely concerned.

Cailan shook his head. "I need Loghain. He is the best for this sort of thing, noticing where our weaknesses lie and where we might improve. The queen and I will be making a tour of the country later on this year, but this can't wait. Besides, I'll want Loghain to stay in Denerim then and see to things here while we're gone." He met the teyrn's eyes, no trace of tension or amusement in his expression. Perhaps, Loghain reflected, the lad was learning more from Anora than just dancing. "I am sorry, old friend. Elissa can manage without you, can't she?"

Loghain watched Cailan a moment more and then finally spoke up, emphasizing each word. "The king is right, my lords. It is a vital task and I should be the one to do it." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw councillors exchanging glances. It was remarkable that the simpering ones managed to keep from laughing out loud. Good for them. Even politicians needed their small accomplishments.

Cailan appeared taken aback at Loghain's ready compliance, but soon recovered himself. "Fine. That's settled then. Now my friends, I'll let you go home to your feasts. Queen Anora and I will see you tomorrow at the royal celebration."

As Loghain got up from his chair, his eyes met Cailan's. The king watched him, wary but with a glint of triumph in his eyes. If he was expecting an argument, however, Cailan was soon disappointed. "Give Anora my regards when she returns from the Chant," Loghain merely told him as he turned to leave.

There was nothing else to do in the palace, so Loghain made his way home with evening gathering in, his boots crunching in the snow and greatcloak gathered around him. He took the walk slowly, thinking over the matter of this trip. There was no choice but to go, of course. He wanted to go. Given his promise to Ellie to help with the baby, it shamed him how much he wanted it. As Anora had gradually taken over more of his day to day duties as regent, Loghain had looked forward to getting back to more of a military life. Cailan was also right that this was exactly the sort of task at which he excelled. He would always have to keep an eye on things at the palace, but it was in the ring of metal and the comraderie of soldiers, and especially in the open country, where he felt at home. Certainly it was not in the confining life of the palace. There was now, however, another place that was supposed to be home.

When he entered the residence, Loghain found Ellie reclining back on a settee, covered in blankets but for stocking feet. These she had propped up on Cutha's back as if the mabari were a furry footstool. It was a stance they assumed often. The enormous hound bore this indignity because occasionally Ellie would reach up and rub at the back of his ears with her toe, and the pair apparently found this a fair trade. On this evening, she was using this perch to observe Anya and the maid, who were hanging crystalline stones strung on ribbons in all the windows.

Ellie sat up and grinned. "Loghain! Watch this. Show him, Anya."

The mage cast a worried glance at the teyrn, but turned back and appeared to concentrate. A moment later the crystals lit up with a soft glow, blues and greens and yellows, the colors of springtime. Ellie clapped and turned back to her husband, who glanced at the decoration as he removed his outer clothing. "Impressive," he muttered, not very impressed in truth. He remained suspicious of magic and of the mage in his house, though even if he weren't, that a witch's talents should be used for such a frivolous purpose was of no matter to him. If it made Ellie happy, as it obviously did, there was probably no harm in it.

Ellie was nonplussed at his skepticism. She seemed in high mood, and all in all her mood had improved over recent weeks even as her physical discomfort reached its peak. Loghain could tell that she was nervous about the birth, as he also was, but the very fact of its approach appeared to settle her mind and allow her to return to her usual brightness. For her part, Anya never even looked at Loghain, and she and the maid absented themselves with talk of decorating other parts of the house. The stones remained lit, casting soft shadows on the snow massed against the windowpanes.

"Come sit," Ellie bid him, and he did so. "The cook is making goose with plums, smell it? I reminded her to go light on the cloves, the lord of the house having such a delicate palate as he does."

Loghain replied with a grunt. The fact that Ellie was in such a cheerful mood was going to make it harder to spoil it. At such times he usually went for bluntness, and so he did again. "I'll be going away soon," he announced. "Cailan wishes me to do a survey of Ferelden's troop readiness and I think it a good idea. Maric and I kept track as best we could but there is no substitute for seeing such things with one's own eyes."

The room was silent but for Cutha's snuffling. Finally Ellie repeated, "You're going away. Soon? How soon is soon?"

"Cailan wants me to leave right away." Out of the corner of his eye, Loghain saw that Ellie's face had drained of its high color and that she was fighting with her response.

Bitterness laced her voice. "Cailan wishes you to go, and so you'll go. Do you not see what he is doing?"

"Of course I do. I had thought him over his childish pouting, but it appears he's still got it in his system. What choice do I have, Ellie? Do you think you are the only one who is bound by the whims of our boy king? At any rate, he is right that it needs to be done. We need eyes out there, not only on the military situation but on the political one. Or have you forgotten how much fun you had at the Landsmeet, and I in trying to get answers about Maric?"

Ellie looked unhappy but had to capitulate. "Alright. Alright. I know that it's your duty. You always warned me that it would interfere. I just didn't think..." She had begun to rub the bulge at her middle as though hugging the child inside it.

Loghain stole a look at her. She was always her best in the firelight of evening, the warm light catching her red hair just so. He thought it surely a trick the Maker had played on him to make his young wife that much more bewitching. Pregnancy had not diminished her appeal, and in fact he found the fullness around her chin and in her breasts to be an arresting change. Reaching a hand over to touch her stomach, he said, "I'm not going to leave before the baby is born, of course."

Ellie turned her head. "You're not? I thought you said you had to go?"

He chuckled drily. "I do, but I made you a promise. Do you think I would let Cailan's petty jealousies cause me to miss the birth of my son? If there were any real urgency, that would be a different matter. As it is, papers will get lost, the men I need won't be available for another week, and then another week if necessary. Military life is like that."

Her smile returned cautiously, and some tension went out of Ellie's limbs. "There is more than one way to skin a nug, as the dwarven traders say?"

"Even so."

Ellie laughed, then stopped, considering. "Mother will be coming to stay with me for the first months anyway, so I'll not lack for help or company. I suppose it will be alright." She turned to him. "You're very confident this is a boy, aren't you?"

"I just have a feeling."

"And if it is a girl?"

Loghain shot her a mischievous glance. "Will she be as beautiful as you? If so, we'll need stronger gates. Much stronger. And a few dozen more guards."

***

He did not need to put Cailan off very long. A week after Wintersend, an elven messenger found the teyrn at the Denerim city guardhouse and informed him that Teyrna Elissa was calling for the midwife. The city guardsmen who overheard erupted into cheers, and called well wishes as he left. Outwardly Loghain was as calm and grim looking as ever, but as he walked at a fast clip towards the palace, his heart was pounding with anticipation and fear. It was almost too momentous to believe that after so many years another child would enter his life, and yet all he could think about was what Ellie had before her. Andraste let it go easily on her, he thought silently, the prayer as urgent as any he had uttered. It did not seem fair that all the pain and effort rested on his wife. He felt responsible and yet utterly helpless.

That was how he was still feeling as the afternoon wore on. Ellie's suite had been turned into a hive of female activity, maids going back and forth in response to the directives of the elven midwife, a wiry young woman with copper hair who looked too small to be of any use as in her trade, until she rolled up her sleeves to reveal strong, sinewy arms. Loghain sat and paced in the outer parlor, straining to listen for clues as to what was going on. He had visited briefly with Ellie before being shooed out of the bedchamber like the third teat he was. If only Maric were here, he thought ruefully. It would have been good to have Maric waiting with him. He would have gladly borne every one of his friend's smirking "I told you so" glances.

After an hour or two, Anora put in an appearance. She looked in on the birth room, then came back, apparently sensing that it was no more her place than his. Pouring them both a glass of wine, she took a seat.  "Honestly, Father, I never thought I would see this. That I should have a sibling after all these years."

"Yes, Anora. What did you expect when I wed again? That I should marry the lady but live like a Chantry brother?" His daughter was trying to be supportive, Loghain knew, but the situation had him testy and he did not care for her scolding tone. Gesturing with his glass, he went on, "You should be more worried that you and Cailan manage the same."

Anora's face blanched and she made no reply. After another half hour, when no progress seemed to have been made, she excused herself to return to the palace.

Other than the murmur of the attendants' voices, it was disturbingly quiet. Loghain had expected Ellie to be talking, if not crying out. Finally not able to take any more waiting, he caught a maid's arm and asked for Anya. When the mage came to the door, he tried to lean around her to see. "Is she alright?"

"She's working," Anya replied, scowling impatiently. After a pause, her expression softened. "It's just taking a while, mi'lord. Big father, big baby."

Loghain forced a smile. "So it's my fault then."

"You said it."

As the mage turned back, Loghain caught a glimpse of Ellie seated propped up against pillows, women holding her arms as a contraction caught her.  After that things seemed to happen quickly. He remained in the doorway and no one paid him any mind, the murmurings of the attendants becoming more excited and urgent. Only then did Ellie utter a quiet, drawn-out groan of pain, and a few minutes later another. Loghain turned away, pacing in the parlor as he heard Ellie groaning once more and then go quiet. It seemed like this might go on a while yet, so it was a surprise when a maid stepped to the door and grinned at him. "A boy, your lordship! You have a son. A big, healthy lad, too."

He would only believe it when he saw it. All but bodily pushing the woman aside, Loghain entered the bedchamber and looked around. Anya and another maid were at the side table, and he caught a glimpse of pink limbs spread out on the coverlet. His eyes rested there, still disbelieving, before turning towards Ellie. She was lying back, sweaty and pale, with the midwife still at the foot of the bed.

The elven woman looked up. "You should wait a while yet, mi'lord. Her ladyship still has some work to do."

Ignoring her, Loghain went to the bedside and took Ellie's hand. She smiled up at him wearily, voice languid. "You were right, Loghain. It's a boy. How did you know?"

He squeezed her hand. "You're alright?"

"Maker's mercy, that hurt," she answered, smiling. "Yes, I'm fine-" Her voice cut off as another contraction came. The midwife began to urge her again, and after a few minutes she nodded, seemingly satisfied that the afterbirth process was finished. Maids pushed Loghain back as they began exchanging soiled bedclothes for clean ones. Ellie winced but did not complain as they rolled her this way and that for this operation. Her eyes caught Loghain's, then they both looked over sharply when the baby made a fretful cry.

Anya turned towards them, a squirming bundle braced gently on her arm. "We've not swaddled him yet, mi'lady," she explained, placing the bundle carefully on Ellie's stomach. "That's so you can count the wigglers. We've done already and there's ten and ten, but you'll want to do it yourself too, I'm certain."

Ellie was staring at the baby as though she wasn't sure what it was. Loghain returned to the bedside, kneeling, and they both got a first look at their son. There was a thick shock of black hair and a mottled face, and chubby limbs that were fighting underneath the light blanket. Ellie reached out for him, drawing him closer and settling him on her arm, then exchanging an awestruck look with Loghain. They were both still staring when he heard an attendant whispering, "Oh Maker, no. No."

Loghain looked up and followed the attendant's gaze. The maid had pulled back the blanket, revealing that the newly changed bedclothes were rapidly turning a bright red underneath Ellie's thighs. The midwife, who had been cleaning herself in the washroom, came out and with one glance at the bed instigated another rush of activity.

"What is happening? No, don't do that," Ellie protested as one of the women took the baby from her arms.

"You're bleeding out, mi'lady," the midwife told her. "We have to stop it."

Loghain let himself be pushed out of the way again, and he stood back, staring at the bright red bloom on the bed as though mesmerized. In battle he had seen men and women ripped open, in all stages of horrific deaths, but this sight reminded him not of those, but of the day he had foolishly let himself be provoked by Rowan into a duel. On that day, too, he had been transfixed by the sight of a line of bright red blood on her cheek, put there by the hilt of his own sword. This was no small ooze, however. When the women lifted Ellie's legs to get pillows underneath, the bed was already soaked through. Another memory flashed just beneath his awareness, the sight of his mother laid out. One of the Orlesian soldiers had run his father's sword into her private parts when they were done with her and she had bled like this. It was a memory Loghain always had with him, sunk deep beneath layers of civilized rage, never conscious but there all the same. Now it was right in front of him again.

Ellie moaned with pain as the women bent her knees back. This sound moved Loghain from his spot. "Do something!" he bellowed, pushing back to the bedside. "Anya, what are you just standing there for? You're a mage, aren't you? Heal her!"

The mage was herself pale and sweaty from her day's labors. She shot Loghain an angry glance. "I will, and I don't need you to tell me what I'm about."

"Then do it!" His tone was one of command, the general on the battlefield. The argument was cut short by Ellie speaking up weakly, trying to get his attention.

"Loghain. The baby..."

He turned to her, clasping her hand. What color had remained in Ellie's face was draining away. "The baby is alright, love," he assured her. "Don't worry. Anya is going to help you."

Ellie nodded and closed her eyes, but continued to whisper. "The baby's name. We should name him."

Loghain looked at her, comprehending her urgency. She had seen the blood, felt her strength ebbing, and thought that there might not be another chance. "We can talk about it later, but I thought you would want to call him Bryce." He cast a frantic glance towards the women surrounding the end of the bed. Anya was poised over Ellie, her hand spread out, eyes closed as though in prayer.

Shaking her head, Ellie murmured, "No. His name is Gareth."

"Gareth," Loghain repeated numbly. His own father's name. "You're sure?" When she did not reply, he waited, then shook her hand. Nothing. "Ellie, talk to me. We'll name him Gareth, if that's what you want. No, don't fall asleep. Stay here with me. Ellie, wake up." She didn't respond and the hand in his was limp, her lips a sickening blue. Loghain's sight went black as he gripped her hand hard, firming his grasp all the more as hers slackened. No, this could not be happening. It couldn't be. Rowan, Maric, Celia, Rowan, Celia, his mother... not Ellie. Not Ellie. The baby was crying somewhere. Not Ellie, the Maker could not be so cruel.

After what seemed an interminable length of time, a voice cut through the desperation that gripped him. Dimly he recognized the voice as Anya's, and felt the mage's hand on his shoulder. "She's alright, mi'lord. She's there. Look at her. Mi'lord, look at her."

Loghain was afraid to do so, desperately afraid, but when the mage repeated her gentle command, he finally looked down and let his wife's face come back into focus. Ellie's eyes were still closed, but there was color in her cheeks and lips again. Just then the baby's fretful murmurs became an ear-splitting cry, and her lashes flickered.

"Oh," one of the maids laughed. "That'd be hunger. Best fetch the wetnurse."

"Give him to me." Ellie's voice was barely above a whisper, but when the midwife hesitated she said it again. "Give him to me. I'll see to him."

"Mi'lady, you really shouldn't..."

This time Loghain spoke up in brusque command. "Do it." That settled any further argument. He and Ellie looked at each other, smiling cautiously. There were streaks of tears on the teyrn's cheeks that he didn't even remember falling. Moments later they sat together on the bed, Ellie propped back Loghain's arm while their son nursed energetically, apparently set to suck his mother dry. She grimaced occasionally, and was obviously using her last bit of strength just to hold him, but her expression was as awestruck as her husband's.

Once, Loghain tore his eyes away from his family and noticed the mage standing nearby, wiping at her forehead with a cloth. Anya met his gaze and held it a moment, then nodded once before turning away.

Gareth Mac Tir was blessed at the Chantry six days later and his birth recorded in the rolls: Boy child, born 6 Guardian of the 26th year of the Dragon Age. Only son of Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir of Gwaren and of Teyrna Elissa Mac Tir nee Cousland. Witness, Anora Regina.

A week later, the baby made another outing, this time to the palace courtyard where the survey expedition was making ready to leave. Ellie stood watching while Loghain finished his preparations and gave orders. Loghain and a few of the other officers had horses standing ready, but most of the men would be on foot. It was a small company, about twenty men, most of them Gwaren men with a few palace guard mixed in. A few other families had also come to see the company off, and servants scurried back and forth bringing provisions. Ellie's hair was loose on her back and she wore a dark blue cloak and boots. The snows were melting, but in Ferelden winter always persisted past its welcome and the air was chill. The baby in her arms was swaddled thickly, the only thing visible of him a pink face and the dark hair that was so thick that the midwife had laughed and remarked that he must be half bear.

When all was ready, Loghain approached Ellie, gloves held in one hand and a black cloak slung over his armor. He said nothing for a long moment, impressing on his mind the sight of her and of his son as though he might forget what they looked like. In truth he was mostly trying to convince himself that they were really there at all, that they really were his own. He leaned over and kissed Ellie lightly, then looked down and let his fingertips brush over the impossibly soft fuzz on Gareth's head. The sleeping baby stirred and made a small sound of protest, prompting his father to laugh fondly.

Ellie looked up at her husband, smiling. She paused thoughtfully for a moment before she spoke. "You know, Cailan is smart about one thing, love."

"Enlighten me."

"He relies on you. He knows that you will protect all of us."

Loghain smiled grimly. "He's not really interested in all of you, you know that. Nor in Ferelden."

"Somewhere deep down he is." She shifted the baby to one arm and reached her free hand up to touch his cheek, caressing it. "You'll be careful, Loghain. Promise me you'll be careful."

He nodded, expression and voice solemn as he caught her hand and brought it to his lips. "Don't worry, Elissa. I swear it. I will be home soon. Home to you both."


End chapter 13.

Modifié par Addai67, 15 novembre 2010 - 05:51 .

[Schratty]

You make me sympathize with Loghain and despise Cailan - and for that, I adore you

[Addai]

Ha ha, I'm glad you're not mad at me for that! Thanks for the nice reviews everyone.

Modifié par Addai67, 14 novembre 2010 - 04:24 .

[kyles3]

holy crap what a chapter. glad the kid's got black hair; that oughta stifle the stuffed shirts.

[Addai]

Since I've been goofing around in the game with Not-Ellie, I thought I'd post a few here in case people don't read the Loghain fan thread. 

Not-Ellie meets Loghain in Ostagar and tells him they're married in another universe.






Not-Ellie shares Ellie's opinion of Cailan




Not-Ellie gets a smooch!

[Esbatty]

A boy, huzzah! And I love Anora's reaction to having a new sibling. Gareth Mac Tir the Second, awesome!

[DragonRacer13]

Fabulous! That was frickin' scary...

And I would like to take my place in the "Wants to Backhand, Pimp-Slap Cailan" line.