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The Shadow Broker Game: "You are not putting a hand on anyone!"


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#126
NaclynE

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Phaedon wrote...

I thought that this is the right place to create this thread, as it contains 'Lair Of The Shadow Broker' spoilers. If this is the wrong section, then please move it. ;)

So, the Shadow Broker tried to intimidate our squad members when we were about to catch him () but he wasn't successful enough.

Help the Shadow Broker by posting better lines to intimidate Shepard's squadmates !

Example:

Squadmate: Jacob

Shadow Broker: You travel with fascinating companions, doctor. Heavy risk bringing Mr.Taylor with you, but the priii...
Liara: You are not putting your hand on any classical Mass Effect memes !

Somebody didn't do morinth!

ShadowBroker: I see that the justacar Samara is here. But it seems that she actually has differant agendas now?

#127
Ieldra

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Commander Kurt wrote...

JamieCOTC wrote...

Let me try again.

SB: you travel with interesting companions Doctor. By bringing me Shepard and Chud, I can destroy BioWare completely.
Chud: Uhh ... lemme see. Destroy. I dunno. I love it, but still I'm not sure. Are you a bug? Is he a bug? I dunno. Thing is, we want to you to be able to destroy whatever you like, but it's really not up to us. We just go along for the ride. Have you checked out the new planet scanning on the Normandy? Awesome, isn't it? Anyway, we just need to take a look at why you want to destroy us and see what we did wrong. Nobody's perfect, but we're optimistic. We'll try to do better and if you still want to destroy us, well I dunno. I like the word destroy myself, but you cant please everyone. Y'know, I'll try and run away maybe, I dunno. Really, I dunno. You can never tell about these things.


I've never even heard of "Chud", but now I really want him as a sqadmate..

I think he might allude to Casey Hudson, Bioware's resident spin doctor project director for ME2. I liked the first version better, btw. 

Modifié par Ieldra2, 01 octobre 2010 - 10:43 .


#128
Vaern Sul

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(Sorry, this is Starcraft 2 reference)



You travel with fascinating companions, doctor. I'm surprised you brought the protis sni-

#129
Cra5y Pineapple

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Moiaussi wrote...

Cra5y Pineapple wrote...

Shadow Broker: You travel with interesting companions, Doctor. Thank you for bringing Susan Foreman, Ian Chesterton, Barbara Wright, Vicki Pallister, Steven Taylor, Katarina, Sara Kingdom, Dodo, Polly Wright, Ben Jackson, Polly Wright, Jamie McCrimmon, Victoria Waterfield, Zoe Heriot, Liz, Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart, Sergeant John Benton, Captain Mike Yates, Jo, Sarah-Jane Smith, Harry Sullivan, Leela, K-9, Romana, Adric, Nyssa of Traken, Tegan Jovanka, Vislor Turlough ,Kamelion, Peri Brown, Melanie Bush, Ace, Dr. Grace Holloway, Rose Tyler, Adam Mitchell, Captain Jack Harkness, Mickey Smith, Donna Noble, Astrid Peth, Lady Christina de Souza, Adelaide Brooke, Wilfred Mott, Martha Jones, River Song, Amy Pond, and Rory Williams. They will prove excellent to my British Sci-Fi obsession.

Shepard: Liara, when he says Doctor what does he actually mean?


Heh, a few of those could likely handle SB solo :)

Including K-9 and Capt. Jack Harkness especially Capt. Jack Harkness.

#130
KainrycKarr

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Wizz wrote...

Shadow Broker: You travel with fascinating companions, doctor. Wait... where is the third?
Liara: He's putting his hands on you.
Shadow Broker: ?
Harbinger: I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS.

(I miss Habinger's thread)


Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#131
SaltBot

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Image IPB

#132
Bluko

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Shadow Broker: "You travel with fascinating companions, doctor. Thank you for bringing me Admiral Hackett or perhaps I should say General Shepherd?"

Liara: "You're not putting a hand on-"

Shepard: "Hey wait a second that's my name!"

Hackett: "Two years ago, I lost 30,000 men in the blink of an eye. And the galaxy just ****in' watched! Tomorrow there will be no shortage of volunteers, no shortage of patriots. I know you understand."

Shepard: "Umm what's going on here?"

Hackett: "ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL."

Shepard: "I should go..."

#133
Cra5y Pineapple

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Modifié par Cra5y Pineapple, 03 octobre 2010 - 12:15 .


#134
SaltBot

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Modifié par SaltBot, 03 octobre 2010 - 06:20 .


#135
firest0rm

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SB: you travel with facinating companions doctor mr freeman dispite centuries of technological advancment still preffers a blunt steel bar as his weap-

*freeman pulls out gravity gun*

SB: wait whats that?!

*freeman lifts the shadow brokers table*

SB: oh god damnit...

Liara: he litterally doesnt need to lay his hands on anyone.

Modifié par firest0rm, 03 octobre 2010 - 08:32 .


#136
ElectronicFerret

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Modifié par ElectronicFerret, 03 octobre 2010 - 09:04 .


#137
SaltBot

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#138
Schneidend

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SB: You travel with fascinating companions, doctor. Perhaps Commander Shepard and the krogan would like to watch as we gaze into each others' eyes and proceed to make out.



Liara: You'd better put your hands on me.



Shepard: I should go. Wrex?



Wrex: Shepard.

#139
Twilight_Princess

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SB: You travel with fascinating companions, doctor. Shame you didn’t bring any of them with you.

Jacob: Oh come on!

Shepard: *Sigh*(walks over to the Shadow broker and whispers to him) Hi. I hate to be a bother but I was hoping you could say something interesting about my friend over there.

SB: I would if I could Shepard but you’ve probably brought along the most boring human being in existence, there’s nothing I can do. I’m an information broker, not God.

Shepard: Look, between you and me, I haven’t taken him on a single mission the entire game. It’s also kind of his birthday today so I thought I’d do something nice for him. Would you mind pretending he actually matters in some way? It’ll mean a lot.

SB: Oh alright...*ahem* Wait, did you say your name was Jacob Taylor? THE Jacob Taylor? Head of security and pencil sorting at Cerberus? Thank you for bringing him T’soni, killing him will no doubt cripple Cerberus...you know, because he’s like...super important...and useful. 
Jacob: Image IPB

Liara: Shepard, maybe it's unwise to lie to Jacob like this, he may start believing he can actually do things.

Shepard: Come on Liara, It's not like he's going to start volunteering for dangerous missions that require skill or something.
 
*A week later*
 
Shepard: (stares at Jacob corpse) Ok, I’ll be the first to say it. This was my bad.
 

Modifié par Hyrule_Gal, 05 octobre 2010 - 04:44 .


#140
tommyt_1994

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^Game over. You win

#141
Annihilator27

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Hyrule_Gal wrote...


SB: You travel with fascinating companions, doctor. Shame you didn’t bring any of them with you.

Jacob: Oh come on!

Shepard: *Sigh*(walks over to the Shadow broker and whispers to him) Hi. I hate to be a bother but I was hoping you could say something interesting about my friend over there.

SB: I would if I could Shepard but you’ve probably brought along the most boring human being in existence, there’s nothing I can do. I’m an information broker, not God.

Shepard: Look, between you and me, I haven’t taken him on a single mission the entire game. It’s also kind of his birthday today so I thought I’d do something nice for him. Would you mind pretending he actually matters in some way? It’ll mean a lot.

SB: Oh alright...*ahem* Wait, did you say your name was Jacob Taylor? THE Jacob Taylor? Head of security and pencil sorting at Cerberus? Thank you for bringing him T’soni, killing him will no doubt cripple Cerberus...you know, because he’s like...super important...and useful. 
Jacob: Image IPB

Liara: Shepard, maybe it's unwise to lie to Jacob like this, he may start believing he can actually do things.

Shepard: Come on Liara, It's not like he's going to start volunteering for dangerous missions that require skill or something.
 
*A week later*
 
Shepard: (stares at Jacob corpse) Ok, I’ll be the first to say it. This was my bad.
 


Hmmm, /thread lmao.

#142
_purifico_

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SB's comment on Tali? Ouch! Talk about adding insult to injury =)

#143
NvVanity

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This thread is epic and has brought me many lolz. Keep it up.

#144
magelet

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ElectronicFerret wrote...

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Liara is in the Evil League of Evil?! :blink:

#145
jackkel dragon

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Shadow Broker: You have fascinating companions, doctor. Your "innocent" friend Tali seems to know her way around a bed.
Liara: You aren't putting a hand on anyone!
Shadow Broker: I was merely making an observation. Would you like to see the tapes? I added bad porn music.
Liara: I guess it couldn't hurt...
*video of Shepard x Tali appears on screen*

-- No Romance with Liara --

Liara: "Sweet and innocent," huh?
Tali: Keelah...
Shepard: Image IPB

-- Shepard/Liara Romance in ME1 --

Liara: I knew it! You cheated on me, Shepard!
Shepard: Baby, it's not how it looks...
*Shepard is killed by a Singularity*

CRITICAL MISSION PHAILURE

#146
Axeface

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This thread is EPIC. I'm going to make vids.

#147
Gundar3

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Hyrule_Gal wrote...


SB: You travel with fascinating companions, doctor. Shame you didn’t bring any of them with you.

Jacob: Oh come on!

Shepard: *Sigh*(walks over to the Shadow broker and whispers to him) Hi. I hate to be a bother but I was hoping you could say something interesting about my friend over there.

SB: I would if I could Shepard but you’ve probably brought along the most boring human being in existence, there’s nothing I can do. I’m an information broker, not God.

Shepard: Look, between you and me, I haven’t taken him on a single mission the entire game. It’s also kind of his birthday today so I thought I’d do something nice for him. Would you mind pretending he actually matters in some way? It’ll mean a lot.

SB: Oh alright...*ahem* Wait, did you say your name was Jacob Taylor? THE Jacob Taylor? Head of security and pencil sorting at Cerberus? Thank you for bringing him T’soni, killing him will no doubt cripple Cerberus...you know, because he’s like...super important...and useful. 
Jacob: Image IPB

Liara: Shepard, maybe it's unwise to lie to Jacob like this, he may start believing he can actually do things.

Shepard: Come on Liara, It's not like he's going to start volunteering for dangerous missions that require skill or something.
 
*A week later*
 
Shepard: (stares at Jacob corpse) Ok, I’ll be the first to say it. This was my bad.
 


I laughed pretty hard. Great job! :wizard:

#148
Axeface

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SB: You travel with fascinating companions, doctor. Although I do wonder if this 'Vasquez' can actually be defined as female.

Liara: Your not...

Vasquez: Lets roooooock!! *smart gun rips SB Apart*

Shep: Vas! That one was mine! This is MY mission!

Vasquez: I always knew you were an **** Shepard.

#149
Meshakhad2

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SB: You travel with fascinating companions, Doctor. The Collectors' offer for Shepard's body still stand.



Liara: You're not laying a hand on Shepard. That's my job!

#150
r0ckfan

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SB: you travel with fascinating companions doctor i see you brought Shepard and Shepard?????



Liara: i imported shepard from Mass Effect 1 and made a new femshepard



-SB looks right at the player- SB: you bloody hacker