learning can't get it up?
Story Time: I Feel Fabulous
Débuté par
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
, nov. 29 2010 04:48
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#102
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 10 décembre 2010 - 01:32
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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So next part will be tomorrow for sure. Sorry for the wait.
Other note: Also apologizes to the people unable to view my profile and that have been unfriended. I am paranoid at the moment so please forgive me. Nothing personal.
Other note: Also apologizes to the people unable to view my profile and that have been unfriended. I am paranoid at the moment so please forgive me. Nothing personal.
#103
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 10 décembre 2010 - 03:51
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Here it is finally! Also just remember everything in here is all jokes and not meant to be taken seriously.
Chapter Fifteen:
One day, out in the middle of the forest, Crippledcarny, CommanderShepard117. L33TDAWG and EvilCecil4th were doing drugs!
And they were like:
CrippledCarny: *snort* WOOaaaah........man....
CommanderShepard117: *giggling*
L33TDAWG: l:3
EvilCecil4th: *passed out*
CrippledCarny fell backwards and looked up at the sky. Grabbing The Ruby Red Slippers from his man bag he proceeded to shove them into his mouth and suck on them.
Shepard117: Dooood...like, what are you doing?!
CrippledCarny: You're not authorized to know! D:
Suddenly a nearby bush exploded, and a person jumped out. And it wasn't just an ordinary person, this person was a nudist!
???: lo and behold, my trancing forest wanderers, it is I, Ravenheart of the Wild, and I have partook in this visit to summon ya'll on a tottally righteous quest! Are ye with me?!
The three druggies slowly stood up, looking at the nudist. EvilCecil remained where he was since he was unconscious.
L33TDAWG: Like, cha, man!
Ravenheart of the Wild: HUZAH! *pumps fist*
CommanderShepard117, L33DAWG, and CrippledCarny: HUZAH! *pump fists*
EvilCecil: *still passed out*
Ravenheart: Then, strap on thy hiking booties and linger in my path! *marches off into forest*
EvilCecil: But I'm too stupid to wear hiking booties!
Ravenheart: It dosn't matter what hiking booties you wear. *gets really close to EvilCecil, so close they are neigh lips distance apart* What matters is in your heart.
EvilCecil: Do you feel that? I'm getting a tingle running up my leg.
L33TDAWG: So you DAWG like wats up and wat is like the plan here?
CommanderShepard117: Yeah why are we hiking?
CrippledCarny: WOAH, Duwbble Wainbwe all the way akwas the sky!
CrippledCarney fell down to the ground in a massive drug overdose.
Ravenheart: Follow meh, soo everything will become clear.
Ravenheart strapped on his booties and eloped into a dark and thick forrest. Carney, Shepard117, DAWG and Cecil shurgged and decided to follow him. The forrest was itch and thick. The poison oak had gotten into Shepard117's undies. He was very uncomfortable, but so was everyone else. They was itching too. As the forrest got thicker and darker they realized the forrest was infected with crab lice for douglas. Then they all got crab lice aids. But they found Ravenheart.
Ravenheart: It's a brandnew car!
EvilCecil: That's not a car!
Ravenheart: Exactly, it's a working car! And in the back is a hot tub time machine!
L33TDAWG: Yo dawg! Let's lite this up yo! I'm itchen for some rabies!
Carney: Rabies?
L33TDAWG: Like rabies bro! Yo DAWG! It's from the hood, yo white crakers will know nuttin of being gangster like Tupoc or Farakhan! Yo!
Shepard117: So why are we here?
Ravenheart: All four of you have been chosen by a brotherhood of assassin's to save the world from evil.
L33TDAWG: You claim that you hard but you wholecore, yo! George Bush and CIA, you movin old! I Wright like Richard for publishing while you sold yours!
Shepard117: Evil? What evil?
Ravenheart: This evil!
He then grabbed then a threw them in the back of his car and then activated the hawt-tub time machine.
Ravenheart: BACK TO THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was a flash of marajwana and crack cocain and canibus and everyone was stoned and had major nose bleeds. When the crack cocain settled down it was clear that they were no longer in 1812 Dodecolypse no more.
L33TDAWG: Bomb like 'Nam sounds, tell yo **** to calm down!
As they looked around and it was apparent they was in modern day France, in the year 2012. They was in the middle of a vineyard, Ravenheard got out of his car. He noticed it had squashed a local woman but he didn't care. He had to stop the end of th world.
EvilCecil: This is trippy! Why are we here, what's going on?
Ravenheart of the wild: Perhaps I wasn't as clear as I should have been. I'm an assassin, and the Grand Master Assassin has recruited to to recruit you guys for a suicide mission to save the world.
Shepard117: Woah I didn't volunteer for a suicide mission! I volunteered to get high and smoke dope!
Ravenheart: You have no choice now! You must help me. In a matter of days the world will end.
CrippledCarney: Uh why will it end?
Ravenheart: Allow me to explain, The Assassin's, Templars and FreeMasons have been secretly at war for ages. And now The FreeMasons have taken over the French Government. The evil FreeMason HeadMaster, Chris Priestly has built a massive particle slammer with help from the French Government. You might know it as the CERN Hardon Collider, now contrary to popular belief this thing is built for one purpose. To bring back the FreeMason's false god.
CrippledCarney: False god? Who satan?
Ravenheart: Some might know him as Satan other might call him Beelzebub. But you will probably know him as Bosumjack! He is the most evil satanic deity outthere. Chris Priestly is going to use the Hardon Collider to tear a hole in the Van Allen Belt that surround the Earth which will create a stargate that will allow Bosumjack (Satan) to travel from his planet to Earth. He will come with his army of Lizard people called the Neiphilem, which come from the Planet Gorta! He will come through and set up a billion year reign of terror and Chris Priestly will be rewarded for assisting his god. We must stop him.
EvilCecil: And what do the Templars have to do with this?
Ravenheart: There out to stop Chris Priestly too.
EvilCecil: Why don't you guys work together?
Ravenheart: Are you obsurb? Who ever defeats Chris Priestly first gets bragging rights, duh!
L33TDAWG: On your strip, through your burrough; Rippin any muthaf***** that steps towards me. Yeah, I got power like floors be; Yo, check it out y'all
Chapter Fifteen:
One day, out in the middle of the forest, Crippledcarny, CommanderShepard117. L33TDAWG and EvilCecil4th were doing drugs!
And they were like:
CrippledCarny: *snort* WOOaaaah........man....
CommanderShepard117: *giggling*
L33TDAWG: l:3
EvilCecil4th: *passed out*
CrippledCarny fell backwards and looked up at the sky. Grabbing The Ruby Red Slippers from his man bag he proceeded to shove them into his mouth and suck on them.
Shepard117: Dooood...like, what are you doing?!
CrippledCarny: You're not authorized to know! D:
Suddenly a nearby bush exploded, and a person jumped out. And it wasn't just an ordinary person, this person was a nudist!
???: lo and behold, my trancing forest wanderers, it is I, Ravenheart of the Wild, and I have partook in this visit to summon ya'll on a tottally righteous quest! Are ye with me?!
The three druggies slowly stood up, looking at the nudist. EvilCecil remained where he was since he was unconscious.
L33TDAWG: Like, cha, man!
Ravenheart of the Wild: HUZAH! *pumps fist*
CommanderShepard117, L33DAWG, and CrippledCarny: HUZAH! *pump fists*
EvilCecil: *still passed out*
Ravenheart: Then, strap on thy hiking booties and linger in my path! *marches off into forest*
EvilCecil: But I'm too stupid to wear hiking booties!
Ravenheart: It dosn't matter what hiking booties you wear. *gets really close to EvilCecil, so close they are neigh lips distance apart* What matters is in your heart.
EvilCecil: Do you feel that? I'm getting a tingle running up my leg.
L33TDAWG: So you DAWG like wats up and wat is like the plan here?
CommanderShepard117: Yeah why are we hiking?
CrippledCarny: WOAH, Duwbble Wainbwe all the way akwas the sky!
CrippledCarney fell down to the ground in a massive drug overdose.
Ravenheart: Follow meh, soo everything will become clear.
Ravenheart strapped on his booties and eloped into a dark and thick forrest. Carney, Shepard117, DAWG and Cecil shurgged and decided to follow him. The forrest was itch and thick. The poison oak had gotten into Shepard117's undies. He was very uncomfortable, but so was everyone else. They was itching too. As the forrest got thicker and darker they realized the forrest was infected with crab lice for douglas. Then they all got crab lice aids. But they found Ravenheart.
Ravenheart: It's a brandnew car!
EvilCecil: That's not a car!
Ravenheart: Exactly, it's a working car! And in the back is a hot tub time machine!
L33TDAWG: Yo dawg! Let's lite this up yo! I'm itchen for some rabies!
Carney: Rabies?
L33TDAWG: Like rabies bro! Yo DAWG! It's from the hood, yo white crakers will know nuttin of being gangster like Tupoc or Farakhan! Yo!
Shepard117: So why are we here?
Ravenheart: All four of you have been chosen by a brotherhood of assassin's to save the world from evil.
L33TDAWG: You claim that you hard but you wholecore, yo! George Bush and CIA, you movin old! I Wright like Richard for publishing while you sold yours!
Shepard117: Evil? What evil?
Ravenheart: This evil!
He then grabbed then a threw them in the back of his car and then activated the hawt-tub time machine.
Ravenheart: BACK TO THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was a flash of marajwana and crack cocain and canibus and everyone was stoned and had major nose bleeds. When the crack cocain settled down it was clear that they were no longer in 1812 Dodecolypse no more.
L33TDAWG: Bomb like 'Nam sounds, tell yo **** to calm down!
As they looked around and it was apparent they was in modern day France, in the year 2012. They was in the middle of a vineyard, Ravenheard got out of his car. He noticed it had squashed a local woman but he didn't care. He had to stop the end of th world.
EvilCecil: This is trippy! Why are we here, what's going on?
Ravenheart of the wild: Perhaps I wasn't as clear as I should have been. I'm an assassin, and the Grand Master Assassin has recruited to to recruit you guys for a suicide mission to save the world.
Shepard117: Woah I didn't volunteer for a suicide mission! I volunteered to get high and smoke dope!
Ravenheart: You have no choice now! You must help me. In a matter of days the world will end.
CrippledCarney: Uh why will it end?
Ravenheart: Allow me to explain, The Assassin's, Templars and FreeMasons have been secretly at war for ages. And now The FreeMasons have taken over the French Government. The evil FreeMason HeadMaster, Chris Priestly has built a massive particle slammer with help from the French Government. You might know it as the CERN Hardon Collider, now contrary to popular belief this thing is built for one purpose. To bring back the FreeMason's false god.
CrippledCarney: False god? Who satan?
Ravenheart: Some might know him as Satan other might call him Beelzebub. But you will probably know him as Bosumjack! He is the most evil satanic deity outthere. Chris Priestly is going to use the Hardon Collider to tear a hole in the Van Allen Belt that surround the Earth which will create a stargate that will allow Bosumjack (Satan) to travel from his planet to Earth. He will come with his army of Lizard people called the Neiphilem, which come from the Planet Gorta! He will come through and set up a billion year reign of terror and Chris Priestly will be rewarded for assisting his god. We must stop him.
EvilCecil: And what do the Templars have to do with this?
Ravenheart: There out to stop Chris Priestly too.
EvilCecil: Why don't you guys work together?
Ravenheart: Are you obsurb? Who ever defeats Chris Priestly first gets bragging rights, duh!
L33TDAWG: On your strip, through your burrough; Rippin any muthaf***** that steps towards me. Yeah, I got power like floors be; Yo, check it out y'all
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 10 décembre 2010 - 03:51 .
#104
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 10 décembre 2010 - 04:10
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Chapter Sixteen: Revelation
There he was, the lolly pop kid who was responsible for Gaurdsman's death.
Commander Shepard: *punches Gaurdsman in face*
Joshd21 was on the front lawn playing with his lollypop. Unaware to him Gaurdsman was sneaking up on Josh like a wild kangaroo! Suddenly a shadow swept over Josh, he looked up as Gaurdsman was sillohetted against the sunlight. Gaurdsman was reaching for his dagger when.
Norskatt: Gaurdsman!
Gaurdsman: Norskatt?
Josh: *slobbery voice* Lollypop?
Norskatt: What the hell our you doing to your son?
Gaurdsman: I have a son?
Norskatt: You didn't know? We better talk about this inside.
Norskatt invited Gaurdsman inside her log cabin and they both took a seat at the table. And over a cup of tea they discussed their son.
Norskatt: Perhaps I should have told you after we broke up, but I felt like you would be angry.
Gaurdsman: Angry? Of course I'm angry! You never told me I had a son! Furthermore you have had him on welfare all there years that has made him stupid! He tried to kill me.
Norskatt: Please calm down, it's not his fault for likeing lollypops.
Gaurdsman: You could have told me! When did you have him?
Norskatt: Right after you left. Why did you leave?
Gaurdsman: I had to, if my enemies learned about you they would come after you in order to get to me. I couldn't have let that happen. Leaving you was the right choice.
Norskatt: So you still care?
Gaurdsman hesitated.
Gaurdsman: *grabs Norskatt's hands* Yes.
Norskatt smiled as did Gaurdsman, then quickly Norskatt's smile turned to a frown.
Gaurdsman: What's wrong?
Norskatt: I'm getting married...
Gaurdsman: To who?
Norskatt: A handsome scottish elf, Eli-da-mage.
Gaurdsman: You son of a ****! *pimp slap* I can't belive you!
Gaurdsman stormed off to the restroom, leaving his hawt pink scarf on the chair.
Norskatt sighed. Then Joshd21 came in.
Josh: Mummy what was that about?
Norskatt: Uh nothing! Just a conversation about like uh lesbian witches for abortion. You don't want to know that stuff.
Gaurdsman was on the loo taking a dump, he was absolutely furious with Norskatt, so furious he could almost murder her. After all it wouldn't be hard, he was a skilled bounty hunter. Out in the main part of house Norskatt and Josh were at the dinner table when suddenly Eli-da-mage broke down the door.
Eli had a bottle of burben in one hand and a brick in the other. His smile turned to a frown when he saw Gaurdsman's scarf.
Norskatt: Hey cutie, what a unexpected suprise.
Eli: *lifts up kilt* Unexpected as in, unexpected because you are cheating on me before the wedding! *points to scarf*
Norskatt: It's not what you think. Let me explain!
Eli: I have had enough of this!
Eli raised his brick high into the air!
From in the restroom Gaurdsman thought he heard faint screaming, but he had a problem of his own. He had fallen into the toilet.
There he was, the lolly pop kid who was responsible for Gaurdsman's death.
Commander Shepard: *punches Gaurdsman in face*
Joshd21 was on the front lawn playing with his lollypop. Unaware to him Gaurdsman was sneaking up on Josh like a wild kangaroo! Suddenly a shadow swept over Josh, he looked up as Gaurdsman was sillohetted against the sunlight. Gaurdsman was reaching for his dagger when.
Norskatt: Gaurdsman!
Gaurdsman: Norskatt?
Josh: *slobbery voice* Lollypop?
Norskatt: What the hell our you doing to your son?
Gaurdsman: I have a son?
Norskatt: You didn't know? We better talk about this inside.
Norskatt invited Gaurdsman inside her log cabin and they both took a seat at the table. And over a cup of tea they discussed their son.
Norskatt: Perhaps I should have told you after we broke up, but I felt like you would be angry.
Gaurdsman: Angry? Of course I'm angry! You never told me I had a son! Furthermore you have had him on welfare all there years that has made him stupid! He tried to kill me.
Norskatt: Please calm down, it's not his fault for likeing lollypops.
Gaurdsman: You could have told me! When did you have him?
Norskatt: Right after you left. Why did you leave?
Gaurdsman: I had to, if my enemies learned about you they would come after you in order to get to me. I couldn't have let that happen. Leaving you was the right choice.
Norskatt: So you still care?
Gaurdsman hesitated.
Gaurdsman: *grabs Norskatt's hands* Yes.
Norskatt smiled as did Gaurdsman, then quickly Norskatt's smile turned to a frown.
Gaurdsman: What's wrong?
Norskatt: I'm getting married...
Gaurdsman: To who?
Norskatt: A handsome scottish elf, Eli-da-mage.
Gaurdsman: You son of a ****! *pimp slap* I can't belive you!
Gaurdsman stormed off to the restroom, leaving his hawt pink scarf on the chair.
Norskatt sighed. Then Joshd21 came in.
Josh: Mummy what was that about?
Norskatt: Uh nothing! Just a conversation about like uh lesbian witches for abortion. You don't want to know that stuff.
Gaurdsman was on the loo taking a dump, he was absolutely furious with Norskatt, so furious he could almost murder her. After all it wouldn't be hard, he was a skilled bounty hunter. Out in the main part of house Norskatt and Josh were at the dinner table when suddenly Eli-da-mage broke down the door.
Eli had a bottle of burben in one hand and a brick in the other. His smile turned to a frown when he saw Gaurdsman's scarf.
Norskatt: Hey cutie, what a unexpected suprise.
Eli: *lifts up kilt* Unexpected as in, unexpected because you are cheating on me before the wedding! *points to scarf*
Norskatt: It's not what you think. Let me explain!
Eli: I have had enough of this!
Eli raised his brick high into the air!
From in the restroom Gaurdsman thought he heard faint screaming, but he had a problem of his own. He had fallen into the toilet.
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 10 décembre 2010 - 04:10 .
#105
Guest_Eli-da-Mage_*
Posté 10 décembre 2010 - 04:15
Guest_Eli-da-Mage_*
Guest_Eli-da-Mage_*
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- Guests
...*throws angry brick at Cornhole*
That's for making me a murderer >
*throws happy brick at Cornhole*
That's for making me kill people with a brick
OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT, I DON'T WEAR A GODDAMN KILT!!! RAAAAAEEEEGGGGG!!!
But cool story, brah.
That's for making me a murderer >
*throws happy brick at Cornhole*
That's for making me kill people with a brick
OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT, I DON'T WEAR A GODDAMN KILT!!! RAAAAAEEEEGGGGG!!!
But cool story, brah.
Modifié par Eli-da-Mage, 10 décembre 2010 - 04:20 .
#106
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 10 décembre 2010 - 09:20
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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- Guests
Chapter Seventeen: Beelzelbub and his army of Lizard People
Chris Priestly was evil, and he was very insane! He let out a hardy seaman's laugh and stuck a copy of Mass Effect 2 up his nose. He was deep below ground, from his office he watched the monitors. They told him that soon there would be a hole big enough in the Van Allen belt that would allow Bosumjack to return with his army of Lizard People.
Chris Priestly: Hmmm, creating a hole in the Van Allen Belt allowing a satanic hell beast and his army of Lizard People to take over the Earth.....heavy risk.....
Stanley Woo: But the Prize!
Chris: Geez Stanley, don't scare me like that ever again!
Stanley:
Chris: How are the new recruits doing?
Stanley: Less then medocre.
Chris and Stan peaked their heads outsite their office. The know FreeMason recuits were picking their noses and itching their behinds while epic music played in the background. Among the new recuits where Deleted, The Chosen Predator, Tyler Durden and Hainkpe.
Chris: We are soooo screwed.
Stanley patted him on the back.
Stanley: It's okay, at least we have each other.
Then alarms sounded as Templars entered the base!
ReconTeam, AwesomeName and Captain Obvious ziplined down from teh ceiling, they each did a silly pose as the panted their landing. Each one pulled out their swords!
Captain Obvious: Engaurd fell beasts!
ReconTeam: RARGH!!!!
ReconTeam did summer saults and stabbed Deleated, Chosen Predator, Tyler Durden and Hainkpe to death.
Awesomename: Nice job! *bodyslam*
ReconTeam: Thanks! *bodyslam*
Chris looked on as their new recruits was dead and the Templars ran around and threw filing cabnits and office supplies around.
Captain Obvious: Wait I think we are lost, we must find the door that leads us to the Hardon Collider!
AwesomeName: Huzah!
ReconTeam: Huzah!
Chris began to cry as his evil plans was about to be defeated. But Stanley was like, nuh-uh!
Stanley Woo: You guys are always annoying and stuff but now you must die! Cause like totally you made a mistake by killing my recruits!
Capt. Obvious: Why?
Stanley Woo: BANHAMMER!!!
With one magical swing Deleated, Chosen Predator, Tyler Durden and Hainkpe was transformed one massive blog sorta hidious monster! It rawred and made loud rumbling noises!
Stanley: C'mon Chris lets baracade ourselfs in the main chamber so that we won't die!
Chris: Ugh fine.....
As Stan and Chris went to the main chamber/tunnel where the Hardon Collider was located Capt. Obvious, ReconTeam and AwesomeName fought the hidious creature. Their swords did little to harm it.
ReconTeam: How do we-wahaaaaaaaaa!
The creature then ate ReconTeam and ReconTeam was part of the hidious beast. It then cornered Capt, Obvious and AwesomeName.
Capt. Obvious: I have a plan! THis creature needs some friends and some one to love it. Standback!
Capt. Obvious dropped his weapon and gave the creature a big hug.
Much to Chris Priestly's supprise Stanley had to leave to go use the little ninja's room, but even more to his supprise was when he entered the main area where the collidar was CrippledCarney, Ravenheart, CommanderShepard117, L33TDAWG, and EvilCecil stuffing loads of drugs into his machine.
Chris: What are you doing?
CrippledCarney: Makeing your particle excellorator really high on drugs!
L33tDAWG: Who got game? Giving a quarter rest while I make these quarter notes
My album, ****** was expectin, now my water broke!
Everyone: um................
Chris Priestly: hahaha You are already to late already, the hole has been made and BosumJack will soo be here to rule the Earth! There is nothing you can do! Mahahahahahahaha!
Then Chris Priestly took out a blowdart and blowdarted everyone! Then collasped and fainted!
Carney: ugh!
L33TDAWG: YO DAWG!
CommanderShepard117: lololololol
EvilCecil: You turn me on!
Ravenheart: Curse you Chris Priestly, you have beaten us!
The all collasped next to the collider and large pile of drugs.
Chris Priestly laughed and waited for BosumJack to travel through the hole in the Van Allen belt to take over earth.
200 million lightyears away Bosumjack had overslept and had missed his optertunity to travel to Earth because all the drugs made the Hardon Collider all stone and was not working.
Chris Priestly:
Then there was an explosion! Capt Obvious and Awesomename burst through the wall rading the hidious beast that now looked like a dinosaur!
Capt. Obvious: Prepare to die!
Chris Priestly: RAWR! Ban Hammer!
Chris was mad! He threw his ban hammer at them and made Awesomename and the hidious beast comprised of forum members explode! The captain weezehd as Chris approched him.
Chris: Any last words?
Capt. Obvious: Ha ha jokes on you!
Chris: Why?
Capt Obvious: Because! *rips off mask* I'm Stanley Woo!
Chris: *gasp!*
Stanley Woo and you under arrest for being evil!
Then all of a sudden Chineese Comandos stormed Chris Pristly's evil hidout! And arrested him.
Chris Priestly was sad. He began to cry as he was escorted away in a chiness military helicopter.
Stanley Woo laughed, because Chris would have to work in the Communistspicemines and also because now Stanley would become the CEO of everything awesome!
Stanley Woo: Mahahahahah!
Chris Priestly was evil, and he was very insane! He let out a hardy seaman's laugh and stuck a copy of Mass Effect 2 up his nose. He was deep below ground, from his office he watched the monitors. They told him that soon there would be a hole big enough in the Van Allen belt that would allow Bosumjack to return with his army of Lizard People.
Chris Priestly: Hmmm, creating a hole in the Van Allen Belt allowing a satanic hell beast and his army of Lizard People to take over the Earth.....heavy risk.....
Stanley Woo: But the Prize!
Chris: Geez Stanley, don't scare me like that ever again!
Stanley:
Chris: How are the new recruits doing?
Stanley: Less then medocre.
Chris and Stan peaked their heads outsite their office. The know FreeMason recuits were picking their noses and itching their behinds while epic music played in the background. Among the new recuits where Deleted, The Chosen Predator, Tyler Durden and Hainkpe.
Chris: We are soooo screwed.
Stanley patted him on the back.
Stanley: It's okay, at least we have each other.
Then alarms sounded as Templars entered the base!
ReconTeam, AwesomeName and Captain Obvious ziplined down from teh ceiling, they each did a silly pose as the panted their landing. Each one pulled out their swords!
Captain Obvious: Engaurd fell beasts!
ReconTeam: RARGH!!!!
ReconTeam did summer saults and stabbed Deleated, Chosen Predator, Tyler Durden and Hainkpe to death.
Awesomename: Nice job! *bodyslam*
ReconTeam: Thanks! *bodyslam*
Chris looked on as their new recruits was dead and the Templars ran around and threw filing cabnits and office supplies around.
Captain Obvious: Wait I think we are lost, we must find the door that leads us to the Hardon Collider!
AwesomeName: Huzah!
ReconTeam: Huzah!
Chris began to cry as his evil plans was about to be defeated. But Stanley was like, nuh-uh!
Stanley Woo: You guys are always annoying and stuff but now you must die! Cause like totally you made a mistake by killing my recruits!
Capt. Obvious: Why?
Stanley Woo: BANHAMMER!!!
With one magical swing Deleated, Chosen Predator, Tyler Durden and Hainkpe was transformed one massive blog sorta hidious monster! It rawred and made loud rumbling noises!
Stanley: C'mon Chris lets baracade ourselfs in the main chamber so that we won't die!
Chris: Ugh fine.....
As Stan and Chris went to the main chamber/tunnel where the Hardon Collider was located Capt. Obvious, ReconTeam and AwesomeName fought the hidious creature. Their swords did little to harm it.
ReconTeam: How do we-wahaaaaaaaaa!
The creature then ate ReconTeam and ReconTeam was part of the hidious beast. It then cornered Capt, Obvious and AwesomeName.
Capt. Obvious: I have a plan! THis creature needs some friends and some one to love it. Standback!
Capt. Obvious dropped his weapon and gave the creature a big hug.
Much to Chris Priestly's supprise Stanley had to leave to go use the little ninja's room, but even more to his supprise was when he entered the main area where the collidar was CrippledCarney, Ravenheart, CommanderShepard117, L33TDAWG, and EvilCecil stuffing loads of drugs into his machine.
Chris: What are you doing?
CrippledCarney: Makeing your particle excellorator really high on drugs!
L33tDAWG: Who got game? Giving a quarter rest while I make these quarter notes
My album, ****** was expectin, now my water broke!
Everyone: um................
Chris Priestly: hahaha You are already to late already, the hole has been made and BosumJack will soo be here to rule the Earth! There is nothing you can do! Mahahahahahahaha!
Then Chris Priestly took out a blowdart and blowdarted everyone! Then collasped and fainted!
Carney: ugh!
L33TDAWG: YO DAWG!
CommanderShepard117: lololololol
EvilCecil: You turn me on!
Ravenheart: Curse you Chris Priestly, you have beaten us!
The all collasped next to the collider and large pile of drugs.
Chris Priestly laughed and waited for BosumJack to travel through the hole in the Van Allen belt to take over earth.
200 million lightyears away Bosumjack had overslept and had missed his optertunity to travel to Earth because all the drugs made the Hardon Collider all stone and was not working.
Chris Priestly:
Then there was an explosion! Capt Obvious and Awesomename burst through the wall rading the hidious beast that now looked like a dinosaur!
Capt. Obvious: Prepare to die!
Chris Priestly: RAWR! Ban Hammer!
Chris was mad! He threw his ban hammer at them and made Awesomename and the hidious beast comprised of forum members explode! The captain weezehd as Chris approched him.
Chris: Any last words?
Capt. Obvious: Ha ha jokes on you!
Chris: Why?
Capt Obvious: Because! *rips off mask* I'm Stanley Woo!
Chris: *gasp!*
Stanley Woo and you under arrest for being evil!
Then all of a sudden Chineese Comandos stormed Chris Pristly's evil hidout! And arrested him.
Chris Priestly was sad. He began to cry as he was escorted away in a chiness military helicopter.
Stanley Woo laughed, because Chris would have to work in the Communistspicemines and also because now Stanley would become the CEO of everything awesome!
Stanley Woo: Mahahahahah!
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 10 décembre 2010 - 09:20 .
#107
Guest_AwesomeName_*
Posté 10 décembre 2010 - 10:48
Guest_AwesomeName_*
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Man, I'm really lame in this - but I'm humbled, so thanks. I'm 50% certain I'm not being ironic.
Modifié par AwesomeName, 10 décembre 2010 - 11:16 .
#108
Posté 11 décembre 2010 - 12:17
Inquisitor Recon
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Man, I've always vowed to use a hand grenade to take myself out before being eaten by a flesh golem.
#109
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 11 décembre 2010 - 11:27
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Chapter Eighteen: Breaking Point
dark-lauron watch from afar as his army met that of the Dwarves in lethal combat. Columns of infantry slowly marched across the field till they met their opposition in the center. That is when the blood bath began.
dark-lauron: Hey babe fetch me a beer.
Timeless Winter and mousetalker were at work keeping the King comfortable as he watched the battle. mousestalker handed the king a beer as he sat atop his throne made of his dwarven slaves.
mousestalker: Maybe we can spend some alone time in your tent if Gemaphrodite isn't around.
dark-lauron: I like the sound of that.
Timeless Winter: Boobies! *grabs*
mousestalker: *slap*
Timeless Winter:
Then Gemaphrodite approched the King who immediately acted like nothing sexual was happening in anyway between mouse and him.
Gem: In order to cease the fighting the Dwarven King Pure Method Actor has challenged you to a duel!
dark-lauron: Duel? Gawd no!
Gemaphrodite: Please babe do it for me.
mousestalker: Yes show off your manly ball sacks in battle.
dark-lauron: Anything for you *shoves ball sack in mouth*
Gem: O_o
Later that afternoon everyone was ready for the duel. The two armies were line up facing each other, and between them was a large space where the Kings would duel. Pure Method Actor stood out in the center of the field as he waited dark-lauron.
Pure Method Actor had peg legs and peg arms a eye patch a long beard and a peg sword, he was weaing heavy golden armor and a cape.
Pure Method Actor: *throws sparkle dust* Is there any in this rout with athority to treat with me?
Then came dark-lauron, his troops cheered as he came through their ranks to meet his challanger. His wife watched and waited back from the hill with mouse and Timeless Winter.
dark-lauron: I do!
Pure Method Actor: Uh like woah man, why are you wearing a bath robe?
dark-lauron: Because of this!
He tossed his bathrobe aside, he was fully naked! As the wind picked up his bathrobe flew away into the distance. Storms clouds gathered and thunder and lightning happened. The sky grew dark.
dark-lauron: Hampsters come to me!
He raised his arms high in the air and out of the ground swarmed millions of hampsters,they covered up his nudeness thus creating armor.
dark-lauron: And my sword!
The hampsters then formed their bodies together to create his weapon.
dark-lauron: Fear me I am Lord of all Rodents! *lightning flashes*
Pure Method Actor's peg arm and lauron's hampster sword clashed. Hampsters flew everywhere in a mess of bloody gore. Their squeeks would peirce the heart of any man.
dark-lauron: Ima Firin Meh Hampster Cannon!
He opened his mouth, hampsters exploded forth and latched themselves onto PMA's peg arm. Quickly they began to eat away at it like termites.
PMA: Gime Back Meh Sons!
PMA threw one of his peg legs directly at lauron, it peiced his hampster armor and entered his chest.
lauron: Hampsters! Defend I have been wounded!
The King collasped to the ground, but his hampsters attacked Pure Method Actor. Again they ate away at his cape and peg legs. They got inside his armor and and left little hampster droppings inside.
Pure Method Actor: Nine! Like that's not cool man! Hampster droppings! My one true weekness!
Pure Method Actor swelled up like a melon from his alergic reaction and died. dark-lauron got up slowly and smiled, realizing he was victorious. His hampsters game back to his as he raised his arms in triumph.
Then he realized his wound was fatal.
dark-lauron: Quickly, someone! Hand me a tampon!
dark-lauron exploded in a nuclear explosion of hampsters! The cute little rodents flew in every direction and utterly wiped out the opposing armies.
From her hill Queen Gemaphrodite smiled her plan was complete, by stealing Pure Method Actor's sons she had sucessfully created a conflict which removed her promiscuious husband and left the power of the throne all to herself.
mousestalker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A stray hampster just happened to fly into her mouth as she was screaming, she choked and died. With her evil plans complete Gemaphrodite and the royal oaf, Timeless Winter headed back to their castle.
dark-lauron watch from afar as his army met that of the Dwarves in lethal combat. Columns of infantry slowly marched across the field till they met their opposition in the center. That is when the blood bath began.
dark-lauron: Hey babe fetch me a beer.
Timeless Winter and mousetalker were at work keeping the King comfortable as he watched the battle. mousestalker handed the king a beer as he sat atop his throne made of his dwarven slaves.
mousestalker: Maybe we can spend some alone time in your tent if Gemaphrodite isn't around.
dark-lauron: I like the sound of that.
Timeless Winter: Boobies! *grabs*
mousestalker: *slap*
Timeless Winter:
Then Gemaphrodite approched the King who immediately acted like nothing sexual was happening in anyway between mouse and him.
Gem: In order to cease the fighting the Dwarven King Pure Method Actor has challenged you to a duel!
dark-lauron: Duel? Gawd no!
Gemaphrodite: Please babe do it for me.
mousestalker: Yes show off your manly ball sacks in battle.
dark-lauron: Anything for you *shoves ball sack in mouth*
Gem: O_o
Later that afternoon everyone was ready for the duel. The two armies were line up facing each other, and between them was a large space where the Kings would duel. Pure Method Actor stood out in the center of the field as he waited dark-lauron.
Pure Method Actor had peg legs and peg arms a eye patch a long beard and a peg sword, he was weaing heavy golden armor and a cape.
Pure Method Actor: *throws sparkle dust* Is there any in this rout with athority to treat with me?
Then came dark-lauron, his troops cheered as he came through their ranks to meet his challanger. His wife watched and waited back from the hill with mouse and Timeless Winter.
dark-lauron: I do!
Pure Method Actor: Uh like woah man, why are you wearing a bath robe?
dark-lauron: Because of this!
He tossed his bathrobe aside, he was fully naked! As the wind picked up his bathrobe flew away into the distance. Storms clouds gathered and thunder and lightning happened. The sky grew dark.
dark-lauron: Hampsters come to me!
He raised his arms high in the air and out of the ground swarmed millions of hampsters,they covered up his nudeness thus creating armor.
dark-lauron: And my sword!
The hampsters then formed their bodies together to create his weapon.
dark-lauron: Fear me I am Lord of all Rodents! *lightning flashes*
Pure Method Actor's peg arm and lauron's hampster sword clashed. Hampsters flew everywhere in a mess of bloody gore. Their squeeks would peirce the heart of any man.
dark-lauron: Ima Firin Meh Hampster Cannon!
He opened his mouth, hampsters exploded forth and latched themselves onto PMA's peg arm. Quickly they began to eat away at it like termites.
PMA: Gime Back Meh Sons!
PMA threw one of his peg legs directly at lauron, it peiced his hampster armor and entered his chest.
lauron: Hampsters! Defend I have been wounded!
The King collasped to the ground, but his hampsters attacked Pure Method Actor. Again they ate away at his cape and peg legs. They got inside his armor and and left little hampster droppings inside.
Pure Method Actor: Nine! Like that's not cool man! Hampster droppings! My one true weekness!
Pure Method Actor swelled up like a melon from his alergic reaction and died. dark-lauron got up slowly and smiled, realizing he was victorious. His hampsters game back to his as he raised his arms in triumph.
Then he realized his wound was fatal.
dark-lauron: Quickly, someone! Hand me a tampon!
dark-lauron exploded in a nuclear explosion of hampsters! The cute little rodents flew in every direction and utterly wiped out the opposing armies.
From her hill Queen Gemaphrodite smiled her plan was complete, by stealing Pure Method Actor's sons she had sucessfully created a conflict which removed her promiscuious husband and left the power of the throne all to herself.
mousestalker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A stray hampster just happened to fly into her mouth as she was screaming, she choked and died. With her evil plans complete Gemaphrodite and the royal oaf, Timeless Winter headed back to their castle.
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 18 décembre 2010 - 03:35 .
#110
Posté 15 décembre 2010 - 07:52
marbatico
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whats taking you, captain? out of idea's?
#111
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 18 décembre 2010 - 03:35
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Chapter Nineteen to the end!
Chapter Nineteen: Night of the living rape.
Cartims woke up, Marbatico was nowhere to be seen! He had abondoned her in the middle of the night. Plus the building was still on fire. Cartims had to get out of there. She took a peak out side. Randumb Vangaurd nor anyother special violators was seen anywhere.
She stepped out of the saw mill. She had to get out of the town and get help.
Radumb Vangaurd: Mahaha not so fast!
The crazy rapist was laughing from on top of a house.
Randumb: You fool do you really think you can escape? Marbatico fled in the middle of the night you are trapped!
Then the special violators appeared like fast zombies and surrounded Cartims, among them was her father Lord_Valandil.
Randumb: Mahaha before we all get our chance to rape you I think it would be fitting for your father to be the first one to do so.
Cartim: Go to hell!
Randumb: MAHAHAHA
Cartims looked at her father as he became arroused and was getting ready to rape her.
cartims: Father please. You have to remember, you aren't one of them you aren't a rapist.
Lord_Valandil: Ugh...your....right....cause.....IMAH FIRIN MEH LAZAR!
Lord_Valandil jumped high in to the air and roasted all the special infected with a lazer that expoded out of his mouth. Randumb Vangaurd tried to escape but was roasted and died.
With the special violators dead, Cartims went on to help her father recover from being infected. Together they rebuilt the village and got married.
Chapter Twenty: Desolation and Isolation
Queen Gemaphrodite was on a quest to find her lost love! C9 came to her the other night in a erotic dream. He explained the one she loved most might still be alive. Then he tied her to a bed and tickled her with his beard, then he threw a cat at her.
She was with Timeless Winter and a Bounty Hunter she had picked up along the way, Gaurdsman and thirty of her best Royal Gaurds. They slowly made their way up a mountain pass, to the place that C9 said her love would be. The snow beat down on them, the cold bit at their fingers.
Timeless Winter: Please Gem, can we come inside?
Gem looked at the freezing Court Jester from the warm and comfortable carrige she was in. She smiled and shook her head. Timeless Winter struggled at the locked carrige doors, in a feble attempt to get inside.
Gaurdsman could only snicker and laugh, he remembered this really funny joke his friend Garrus had told him.
Gaurdsman:...but she had flexability!
Everyone except Timeless Winter: lololololololololololol
Timeless Winter: >
But little did they know that from the pass above, commander Thermos was watching them. His squinty eyes looked over Gemaphrodite and her escort. He drooled, the drool quickly froze all over his chin. He turned to his loyal crew.
commander Thermos: I know we have made sacrifices along the way to say alive. *looks at Ryoko who has a fork stuck into a part of HiddenKING's leg* And I know we are lost and cast away in a strange land. But tonight we feast! For below lies a caravan of meety *cluck* people! Leif Erikson needs us lads, we must save Norway before we all go insane! *eye twitches*
Ryoko, Gameiac, VangaurdofDestruction, GhostLightning looked at each other and wondered how they had allowed themselves to go this far, first it was listening to commander Thermos' advice to save Norway. Then it was canabalism, and there wasn't much of HiddenKING left. They had no choice but to canabalize Gem and everyone with her.
commander Thermos: *cluck* NORWAY!!!
Chapter Twentyone: Porn!
bobobo and only1sgop were still moarning the tragic loss of their dear friend Korpuls. A few hundred miles back he had chokes on a cat. A few hours later the hiemlich was invented. It was truely tragic.
bobobo and onlu1sgop where in the middle of a desert, there was sand as far as the eye could see, the sun beat down on them. bobobo sweated like a fat guy in a microwave oven. They both dispised the fact they were exhiled. They was really board too.
only1sgop: I know, how about a game?
bobobo: What are you suggesting?
only1sgop: How about tag?
bobobo: Tag? Seriously?
only1sgop: Tag, your it!
The teenaged elf took off, he ran like a constipated mule. He giggled and laughed as he left bobobo in the dust. He ran until he fell flat on his face. He rolled around like a turtle cause he couldn't get up. bobobo casually walked up behind him and tagged only1sgop. Then bobobo was like-
bobobo: WOAH!
only1sgop: What?
bobobo: WOAH!
only1sgop slowly got up and looked in the direction the human was looking.
only1sgop: WOAH!
bobobo: WOAH!
only1sgop: WOAH!
bobobo: WOAH!
only1sgop: WOAH!
bobobo: WOAH!
only1sgop: Okay, this is getting old.
Several yards infront of them was a attractive young maiden. She had dirty blonde hair, it was curly and sholder length, she wore a tattered white blouse with sleeves that had golden designs embroidered into it. In addition she wore tattered skin tight trousers and thigh boots of the same color and emroidered design.
It was Armenian Oracle, she was gagged and bound while she was thigh deep in quicksand. She stuggled to get free, she wiggled back and forth but she slowly sank up to her waist. She was stuck.
only1sgop: She is soo hawt!
bobobo: Agreed.
only1sgop: This is almost turning me on!
bobobo: Damn! If only we had the means to electronically record this questionable content and distribute it through some sort of form of private viewing via a world wide eletronic network! We could make millions!
only1sgop: Nah, it will never happen.
bobobo: Yeah, your probably right.
only1sgop: Wana help her out?
bobobo: Duh! Then maybe she will sleep with us for a reward.
only1sgop: Way ahead of you.
only1sgop got to work, he grabbed a life preserver that he had stollen from the Titantic. But that's another story. He squatted and stuck his hind quarters out and threw the device high into the air, letting out a high pitched grunt in the processes.
bobobo: Ummm, I think you should check your pants.
The life preserver landed around Armenian Oracle. They both hernaited but managed to pull Armenian Oracle to edge of the quicksand pit.
Then the reason became clear why she had become terribly stuck, C9316 had his teeth imbedded deadly into Armenian Oracle's calves!
C9: Hee hee hee!
only1sgop: YOU!
C9: Let the power of cat urine compel you!
His beard spat out dozens of cats before he exploded into a ball of flames! bobobo ripped the cat from his face and threw it into the quicksand, from there he cut her restraints.
Armenian Oracle: Thanks, you have no idea how long I was stuck there.
bobobo: Let me guess, until this chapter was written?
Armenian Oracle: No, I was exhiled from my nomadic tribe by my evil brother. He kicked me out with only the clothes on my back. A few days ago I met that crazy old wizard. He was really pissed cause someone stabbed him with a sword. So he decided to trap me in here.
bobobo: That's terrible *gets really close* you must be really lonely *winks eye*. Perhaps you would like some company. *whispers in bed* We are going to wonder aimlessly until we die, want to join us.
Armenian Oracle: Uh sure, that would be great.
only1sgop: No! How dare your brother kick out a lovely lady like yourself!
Aremenian Oracle: *blushes*
only1sgop: It's time I think we had a word with your brother. Who is he?
Armenian Oracle: The Mufflon.
Chapter Twentytwo: Toko-Terrorists
The trio trecked on through the sandy desert, they was gettin close to The Mufflon's location. It was getting windy and the sun was beging to set. The sky was set ablaze with a plethora of colors as the ball of fire in the sky descended towards the horizon.
Armenian Oracle: bobobo, will you quit looking at my boobs.
bobobo: Hey, your blouse is see though. Your just inviting a pervert like me to visually rape you.
Arme: Ewww.
only1sgop: So why did your brother exhile you?
Arme: I was next in line to rule our nomadic tribe. All I had to do was find the perfect man to be leader of my people. But my brother was angry that I was taking too long to choose. He exhiled me, then turned our nomadic tribe into a bunch of radicals!
bobobo: That's horrible.
only1sgop: So tell me who would this perfect man be.
Arme: He would have to be man, yet bird at the same time. He would have to have dreamy eyes, be very muscular, faily tan, wonderfull smooth skin, very little body hair, good looks and have a large, well you know.
bobobo: Sounds like Captain Cornhole if you ask me.
Arme: *drools*
only1sgop: >
Arme, bobobo: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
THEN SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE THEY WAS SURROUNDED BY EVIL LOOKING PEOPLE HOLDING SHARP POINTY SWORDS! THESE PEOPLE WERE DRESSED IN TATTERED GARBS AND LOOKED ANGRY!
The three of them back up against each other as the people with swords encroached in around them.
only1sgop: How are you guys?
Random Guy: We are the Toko-Terrorists! You were warned Armenian Oracle not to return on penalty of death. Therefore you must kill you until you die from it. Take them to our leader!
Chapter Twentythree: Nomadic Terrorism
They were escorted into a gigantic elaborate tent, it was set up around a number of smaller tents. The inside was filled with various nomadic carpets and couches, lying on the biggest and most elaborate one was The Mufflon.
The trio was forced to kneel on the ground as The Mufflon approched them.
The Mufflon: Like YO! Welcome crazy groopies to my tent! You are welcome to enjoy our tribes finest nomadic women. But for you Arme, how dare you return. For that you will be exicuted, a be-heading I think is in order. It will be awesome. Almost as awesome as I am, or my theme song for that matter.
The Mufflon: That's right I know your jeleous.
His men applauded and cheered.
only1sgop: Why are you being mean to Arme?
The Mufflon: Because I'm awesome duh.
The Mufflon: And have I mentioned our tribes many prostitutes?
only1sgop: Why does that music play everytime you talk?
The Muflon: Because I'm awesome, havn't I already explained this?
Arme: You son of a ****! Your abusing the powers of tribal leader that are sacred and a tribute to our ancestors. Your turning our people into a bunch of crazy radical terrorists.
The Mufflon: I could careless what our ancestors feel. While you was gone our tribe has learned to tame giant wild eagles! And using them we shall take over the world! We will make them poop on people and fly into buildings! MAHAHAHAHAHA But first! I have a epic plan to firebomb Woodstalk, so your exicution will have to wait. Come lads to the giant flying eagles!
The Mufflon ran out of the tent waving his sword in the air. That was proceeded by him and his army of terrorists mounting their eagles and taking flight. Only Adriano was left to gaurd Armenian Oracle, she was sitting on a coach with bobobo and only1sgop.
only1sgop: *whispering* We have to go after the mufflon, before those birds poop all over WoodStalk.
bobobo: *whispering* I have never done a heroric thing in my life, but I agree with you. We must for Arme's sake. *stares at boobs*
Arme: *whispering* Thanks guys *hugs*, I have just met you and you want to help me out. What is it about me that makes people so kind?
bobobo: *stares at boobs*
onl1sgop: *whispering* We can't get out of her with Adriano still there.
Arme: *whispering* I have a plan.
She got up and slowly walked over to Adriano, he reached for his sword. But hesitated when he noticed Armenian Oracle was so attractive.
Adriano: Sup?
Quickly she pounced on her victim, and smuthered him with her hair. Quickly her curly dirty blonde hair wrapped around Adriano's neck. He was dead. Armenian Oracle grabbed his sword.
Arme: Come, lets move.
She ran out to the nearest Eagle.
bobobo: *shudders* Remind me never to sleep with her.
Several mins later all three were airborne, each with their own weapons and Eagles. They were hawt on The Mufflon's-
-trail.
Chapter Twentytfour: The desent
Unable to find WoodStalk, the terrorist leader turned his attention to the next biggest target, Queen Gemaphrodite.
The Queen and her escort stood still as they looked up at the massive glaicer that was infront of them. It made Timeless Winter arrogant and smelly.
Gem: What's that smell?
Timeless Winter: Say Gem, I'm getting some crazy plot motives that tell me that we should climb this glaicer.
Gaurdsman: Why climb it when there is an escalator?
Gaurdsman stood pointing to a escalator on the side of the gaicer.
Gem: Hey good point, I'm allergic to climbing anyhow.
They took the glaical escalator and it took them to the top, from there they trecked many miles up the start of the glaicer. At it's starting point was a tunnel, which led into the side of a upside down Pyramid, which was part of the mountains.
Gem stood there freezing, she could see her breath infront of her. She looked into the dark tunnel, she had a bad feeling, but yet she had to venture inside because the pants were almost down from the top of the sky.
Gemaphrodite: Gaurds stay here, keep a look out for anything that approches. Timeless Winter, Gaurdsman come with me.
The both shrugged and followed after the brave queen into the dark tunnel. As they ventured further into the tunnel it became darker and the snow gave way to the pyrimid's stone rocks. Then from the darkness Gaurdsman spotted a figure lying on the ground. He rushed to the person.
Gaurdsman: We have wounded!
Timeless Winter and Gemaphrodite gathered around. The person was covered in blood and his entrails were hangng out of his body. The man was going into shock and mumbleing.
Gaurdsman: Stand back I'm a trained doctor.
He looked at the person, he noticed who ever it was was cross eyed.
Gaurdsman: My name is Gaurdsman, I'm here to help.
Vangaurd of Destruction: You cannot help, there is no victory against the beasts. They will get you next.
Timeless Winter: He's insane.
Vangaurd: No, I am the only sane one left. Me and my shipmates came from far away. We were hungry, we waited in here to eat you.
Gaurdsman: Go on.
Vangaurd: Our captain went insane and ran deeper into the caves, he said Norway was in danger. We went off to find him. We all thought we where alone. We were wrong.
Gaurdsman: What are you talking about!
Vaugaurd: Find my friends. Be careful, the beasts will get you next. No one is safe while-
His heart stopped, he spassed around squeezed out one last fart. Vangaurd was dead.
Gemaphrodite: What do you make of that?
Gaurdsman: Obviously drunk.
Timeless Winter: Agreed.
Gem: But what do you make of the claw marks on his chest and cross eyed-ness.
Gaurdsman and Timeless Winter looked at each other and stared.
Gaurdsman and Timeless Winter: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Gaurdsman: You seriously think there is sumthing other then us and him down here?
Gem: My true love.
Timeless Winter: Okay, be sides whom ever your true love might be?
Gem: Yes.
Timeless Winter: *faceplam*
They covered up the body and moved on. As they ventured deaper Gem became more paranoid. But Timeless Winter and Gaurdsman only made fun of her. Eventually they came to a opening that revealed a large stone cavern with various mineral formations, but the strange thing was that there was a fire in the center.
Gemaphrodite: Did you here that?
Gaurdsman: Here what?
Gemaphrodite: Sounds like voices.
Timeless Winter: Your loosing it, all I see is that camp fire.
Gem: How dare you address your Queen in that manor.
They inched closer to the fire, close enough so that they could make out some figures, four figures infact. Gaurdsman drew his sword. The four figures were barely illuminated by the orange and yellow light of the fire. You could only makeout the stone/bricks next to the fire as it quickly faded to black.
Ghostlighting: See guys I told you that people would come to rescue us.
Gameiac: You never said that!
Ryoko: As I recall, you were crying and screaming your head off.
Ghostlightning: Thats...well...Because I was hiding my true feelings for you! Damnit girl I love you!
Ryoko: Come here babe.
Ghost and Ryoko hugged and smooched in a loving embrace. Gameiac rolled his eyes as Ghostlightning's afro slowly made Ryoko pregnate.
Gem, Gaurds, Winter: O_o
Gameiac: Well...
Gem: Well?
Gameiac: You have to get us out of here! Quickly before they comeback! They already got Vangaurd of Destruction, and our captain has wondered off like a crazy gobble terkey!
Gaurdsman: Before what comes back.
Gameiac: The demons of the cave, we are trespassing on sacred ground. We must leave now.
Gaurdsman: Demons? Really, is that all you got?
Gamaphrodite: Listen to him, perhaps he is telling the truth.
Timeless Winter: AND PERHAPS SCALLOPS ARE FLYING OUT OF MEH TROUSERS!
Gaudsman and Timeless Winter: *fistpounds/bodyslam*
Timeless Winter: Wait they are only three of you, then why did we see four figures?
Gameiac: B-b-b-b-be-be-hind you!
A disgusting smegol looking creature jumped down from the ceiling. It's eyes had been gouged out and had sharp but crooked teeth. The creature was very skinny and was a shade of pasty grey. It was JRCHOharry!
Gameiac: Shoot the flying demon!
It jumped down from the ceiling and landed on top of Timeless Winter, it clawed at his neck. Timeless Winter thrashed about as JRCHOharry went in for the kill. He was about to dig his fangs into it's victims neck when Gaurdsman knocked the creature off Winter. The creature scurried around in a circle like a turtle would do if it was trying to get up. Then JRCHOharry shot his extendable tounge at Gem, it wrapped around her neck. Slowly as his gripped tightened she lost oxygen. Gaurdsman took to action, using his sword he severed the extendable tounge. JRCHOharry grew furious, he leaped at Gaurdsman. But it was easily dodged. That is when Gaurdsman fired an arrow into the creatures chest.
JRCHOharry: Hiss!
The creature quickly crawled back into the darkness.
Gaurdsman: Quickly we must not allow it to escape!
Gameiac: No there are dozens more out there. We must leave now.
Gemaphrodite: No, we can't not until we find and rescue my true love.
Gaurdsman: Then are you ready to brave dozens more of those creatures and possible there crazy captain to find who ever you love is?
Gem: Love has no bounds.
Everyone: Awwwwwwwww.
Gemaphrodite: Gameiac, get your crew ready we are going to venture deeper into the pyramid. And Timeless Winter, as court jester I need you to go back to the surface and request aid from my troops.
Chapter Twentytfive: Osiris
Timeless Winter finally made it back to the surface, the white light nearly blinded him as he exited the tunnel that led into the side of the pyamid that was in the side of a mountain. However Gemaphrodite's soilders couldn't provide aid, because they were under attack from terrorists riding Giant Eagles!
Random Soilder: Get down.
He tackled Winter to the ground and shielded him just as giant bird dropping impacted the ground. The soilder got off Winter and looked at his shield, it was covered in bird poop.
Random Soilder: That's going to stain.
Suddenly another giant eagle swooped down and carried the soilder away into the air. Timeless Winter let out a girly scream just before picking his nose. He grabbed the soilder's weapons, having never practiced combat before he decided to give it his best. He looked around as Gem's soilders were running around and firing arrows at the birds. Winter thought it best to pick his nose and provide witty comments. Then he noticed three more birds coming into the battle.
Timeless Winter: Reinforcements!
It was actually bobobo, only1sgop and Armenian Oracle, they swooped down from high up to attack the terrorists. bobobo did a BARREL ROLE directly into another eagle, they both exploded on impact! Jet fuel and feathers went everywhere, however bobobo parachuted to saftey.
bobobo: *muttering* Just like D-day all over again, minus the Germans.
But that's another story.
Armenians Oracle jumped off her Eagle, she began her free fall. Then just liked planned she landed right on the back of The Mufflon's bird.
Armenian pointed her dagger at The Mufflon-
she hesitated. She couldn't do it, she could never murder her own brother. Then he turned around and laughed like a mad man!
The Mufflon: You are week sister, that is why they chose me! Leaders must be strong.
Arme: They never chose you, you took power for yourself.
The Mufflon: Silence.
He then pimp slapped Armenian Oracle, she lost her grip and fell to the snowy ground. She was out cold.
Timeless Winter: NO!
He ran to her aid. He looked over her body, her pulse was week. He then noticed a giant eagle swooping down towards him.
Timeless Winter: FML!
The eagle attacked him and toar his body into mangled bits. The eagle then eyed Aremenian Oracle.
The Mufflon: Feast on her flesh.
only1sgop: Leave her alone!
He was on foot and pointed his wooden swords at the eagle and terrorist leader. He rushed at the eagle, it pecked at him. only1sgop rolled to the side and got close up beside the bird. Using his wooden sword he hacked the birds head off. The headless eagle spazzed out and fell to the ground, from it's ruins rose The Mufflon.
He had a mace and sword and was pissed.
The Mufflon: Do not come between The Mufflon and his prey!
only1sgop: I will avenge Armenian Oracle and Timeless Winter. You will suffar and then glory will be mine.
The Mufflon swung his mace like a weird evil villian would. only1sgop jumped back as the mace flew past. The Mufflon attack with his sword, only1sgop blocked his attacks. He then came in closer for a finishing attack, but the mace came around again and impacted his shield. The shield shattered and only1sgop was sent flying into a soilder.
He flet pain traveling up his arm, only1sgop was unable to move it. With his other hand he tried to grab a stray sword that was lying in the snow. It was barely out of reach, but as he tried to grab it he felt a cold pair of hands grasp his thoat. He looked a came to face to face with The Mufflon.
The Mufflon: Die now.
only1sgop felt the life being squeezed out of him. He was helpless.
bobobo: Huzah!
bobobo twirled his sword in the air, he swung and chopped The Mufflon in half. His body topled over and bled into the white snow.
bobobo: *helps only1sgop up* You okay.
only1sgop: I have been better, I think my arm is broken.
bobobo: Lets find cover!
They hid underneath a rock just as a eagle pooped over their position.
only1sgop: Wait, what about Armenian Oracle?
They looked to where her body was, she was gone.
bobobo: Where is she? I want to look at her boobies!
Chapter Twentytsix: Pandorica
Queen Gemaphrodite, Gaurdsman, Ryoko, Gameiac and Ghostlightning entered a large chamber, there were many large stone pilars extending down from the stone roof. The natral minerals gave off a blue light that illuminated the chamber. In the center was a stone cube that had many strange carvings and hyrogyphs on it.
Gaurdsman: What is this place?
Gameiac: I'm getting bad vibes man!
Gaurdsman: Your right, we should leave.
Gaurdsman began to turn around.
Gemaphrodite: No! This is the place, my true love is trapped inside that stone cube.
Gaurdsman: How do you know this?
Gemaphrodite: Just a hunch.
Ryoko: I have my true love right here. *winks at Ghostlightning*
Ghostlightning: Your all I'll ever need in the world. *winks at Ryoko*
Gameiac: *vomits*
Slowly they approched the stone cube. The cube had a strange aura about it, it gave off a strange feeling. It made everyone uneasy.
Gemaphrodite walked up to the cube and stared at it.
Gaurdsman: Hurry up and do what you have to do, I'll stand watch.
Gemaphrodite got up close and felt it, she put her ear up to it. Then she knocked twice. The sound vibrated throughout the cavern then there was a long silence. Then from the inside came three responding knocks. Gem jumped back.
Gameiac: That's creepy.
Gemaphrodite: Any ideas on how to open this thing?
Ghostlightning: *grabs Ryoko* Look over there!
Everyone turned around and clustered together from fear.
Gameiac: I don't see anything.
Gaurdsman: Wait! I see it now.
Gameiac dove onto the ground and grabbed Gaurdsman's leg and began to cry!
Gaurdsman: Get ahold of yourself man!
Gaurdsman slowly approched what he saw. Next to one of the stone pilliars was a dark figure who was hunched over and mumbling to himself.
Ryoko: Carefull it could be another one of those JRCHOharry things.
???: N-n-n-n-orway!
Ghostlightning: commander Thermos?
commander Thermos: L-l-l-l-ief Erickson *cluck*
Ghostlighting: Are you okay? There are people here, that can help us.
commander Thermos: *bock/cluck* H-h-elp? Where were they when N-n-n-orway was being sacked by field mice?
Ryoko: Your sick you need help, before you go insane.
commander Thermos: Insane? Me and leif Erikson are the only *cluck*sane ones left, he tells me things, and I listen. It-wants-me-to-kill-you-
Gaurdsman: *grabs sword* Get back!
commander Thermos:-kill-you-but-I-won't-I-won't-I-I-I-AM ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!
commander Thermos stood up, his eyes were glowwing yellow and he foamed at the mouth.
Ryoko: Quickly,Gameiac drop your drawers! Lief Erikson is possesing him!
Gameiac: *drops drawers*
Ghostlightning: That's not the ghost of Leif Erikson! He is possessed by the ghost of Captain Cornhole!
Gaurdsman raised his bow and arrow.
commander Thermos reached for his flintlock.
Gaurdsman: Scatter!
commander Thermos fired! The flintlock's bullet headed straight for Ryoko as everyone scattered.
Ghostlightning: No!
He jumped infront of the bullets path, the round entered Ghost's afro. He tumbeled to the cold rock ground, Ryoko rushed to his side.
commander Thermos fired again this time the bullet entered Ryoko, she collasped on top of her lover.
Gaurdsman: I'll handel this.
Gemaphrodite and Gameiac hid around the corner of the stone cube. Gaurdsman reached for his bow and arrow, but by that time commander Thermos was already reloaded. He aimed the flintlock at Gaurdsman, who was still setting his bow. Gaurdsman knew it was the end for him, there was no way he could get a shot off intime. Suddenly a giant pilliar tumbled over and squashed the commander dead.
Gaurdsman looked to where the pilliar use to stand, there bobobo and only1sgop stood there smiling.
only1sgop: Say have you seen a fair maiden around these parts? Really attractive, perky, thigh high boots, dirty blonde hair, nearly see through blouse.
Gaurdsman pointed to Armenian Oracle who was in tears and looking at the squished body of commander Thermos.
bobobo: Wah? I thought she loved me!
onlysgop: No she loves Captain Cornhole, you idiot. Who can resist such a sexy studmuffin.
Chapter Twentytseven: Full Circle
Gameiac: They're back!
Gameiac screamed and screamed again then pulled up his drawers! Because encroaching around them was JRCHOharry, saMOOrai, ME2IsAwesomelyAwesome and they were pissed.
saM: Hiss!
JRCHOharry: Hiss!
saM: Hiss!
ME2: ******!
JRCHOharry: GTFO out of my PYRAMID!
Gaurdsman: Everyone get together!
only1sgop, bobobo, Gaurdsman, Queen Gemaphrodite, and Gameiac got in a circle around the wounded Ryoko and Ghostlighting. They formed a defensive paremeter around them. Without medical treatment they would die.
only1sgop: Arme, get over here now!
She shook her head, and frowned at only1sgop as she was weeping over the dead body of commander Thermos.
bobobo: Now! JRCHOharry and his pals will eat you!
Armenian Oracle: I don't care!
Suddenly Marbaitco dropped down from teh ceiling and loaded his shotgun!
Marbatico: Get her to saftey!
Gaurdsman grabbed Arme just as JRCHOharry and his palls rushed at her.
Marbatico: IMA FIRIN MEH SHOT GUN!
Gaurdsman put his hands over Arme's eyes as Marbatico fought off the hoard.
Then ME2 pounced on Marbatico, JRCHOharry went in and bit off his leg, saM went in a bite at Marbatico's thoat. He was near death.
Marbatico: Goodbye world!
He pulled a pin on a gernade and shoved it down his pants. Kaboom, he was gone. However JRCHOharry and his friends were unphased. They hissed at Gem's group.
Then there was some rumbling as The Mufflon exploded through part of the chamber. He was reborn, as a Giant Eagle with human legs and arms. With him was a platoon of Toko-Terrorists.
The Mufflon: I am reborn! Fear me, I am the Bird Man of Alkatraz!
The villians slowly encircled them. There was like totally no hope. Gemaphrodite broke down in tears. Gaurdsman embraced her.
*warning ham alert!*
Gemaphrodite: We came soo close, and it looks like this is it.
She looked into Gaurdsman's eyes, as scrawny and wrinkly as they were He did the same. As there enemies came closer so did Gaurdsman and Gemma. Until they were a lips distance apart, and about ready to kiss.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8TBcoxD8HA
Gaurdsman: I lov-
Then a sliver of white light radiated from a crack in the stone cube as it began to open. Slowly it began to expand as the gap drew wider. Eventually the front was open all the way and inside a figure was sillohetted against the light.
Gemaphrodite: Impossible.
Gameiac: *drops draws*
only1sgop: Brilliant.
Gaurdsman: Damnit!
The figure slowly began to walk out, he was human. As the light illuminated most of the room, Gemaphrodite saw his face.
Gemaphrodite: Mandykins!
Mandy: It has been a while.
Gemaphrodite: Yes, yes it has.
A tear fell from Gem's eye.
Mandy: Let me take care of these guys.
Everyone hissed at Mandykins, saM, JRCHOharry and ME2ISAWESOMELYAWESOME leaped in a rage of suck at Gem's love. The Mufflon sprayed barraged of bird droppings, and flapped his wings.
He motioned his hand like that of a Jedi mind trick. Then from it came a brightlight that shot out at JRCHOharry, saM, ME2, The Mufflon. As they became bathed in the white light they began to disentigrate.
JRCHOharry: Hiss!
And one by one they was all turned to dust.
Ryoko and Ghostlightning woke up, they was all healed too. Gemaphrodite embraced Mandykins in a massive hug. Gaurdsman wanted to commit suicide. Mandy pushed her away and did a awesome pose as epic music played in the background. He stood there till the music finished then embraced Gem.
Mandykins: I knew you would come to rescue me. True love has no bounds.
Gemaphrodite: How did you get in there in the first place?
Mandykins: I met a crazy wizard, he was crazy and locked me in here because of my dashing good looks. He was jeleous.
only1sgop: Crazy old wizard?
Gaurdsman: Do you mean?
C9316: Meh!
The wizard materialized in a plume of smoke ontop of the stone cube.
Gemaphrodite: You son of a ****! You did this to him!
C9: I probably did, it was a long time ago. My memory is failing me. Who are you again?
only1sgop: Then why did you lead Gem here in that Erotic Dream?
C9: Cats!
Mandy: Because he is a jeleous wizard!
C9: Exactly I wanted all over you here! It is the perfect trap. I want you all here so I can murder you and steal you body parts so I can have the perfect body! And every cat in my beard will be happy!
Gameiac: Bastard!
C9: Mandy I want your nose, Gem I want you butt, Armenian I want your bewbs, Gaurdsman I want your Genetellia, Ghostlightning your afro, Ryoko your reproductive organs, bobobo I want your thighs, only1sgop I want you ears, and Gameiac I want your -
C9 gasped and clutched the arrow in his chest, he suddenly colasped and died. The evil mastermind behind every event in this story was no more.
Ryoko: Truely a waste of a beard.
Everyone looked to Armenian Oracle who was holding Gaurdsman's bow.
Armenian Oracle: What? No one steals my bewbs.
Chapter Twentyteight: Vista
Everybody left the upside down pyramid a happy soul. At the Human Capital Queen Gemaphrodite and Mandykins got married. Gem tossed the flowers, and Ghostlightning tried to catch them. It poked his eye out, however Ryoko was there to catch them. Gameiac was made the royal Doofus in Timeless Winter's absence.
Gaurdsman hung himself the following morning.
Cartims wasn't married for long, Lord_ Valandil went crazy and sacrificed himself to a Norse god.
only1sgop, and bobobo went on to murder defenseless nuns across the world. Armenian Oracle went on to rule her nomadic tribe and to date Brennon Holmes.
Eli-da-mage was sitting at the kitchen table at his house. He chugged down a quart of ale and let out a loud belch. He was in a depression, he was unable to find the perfect woman for him. He let out a single tear. He looked out the window, the sun was setting over the horizon. And the corn he planted was grown and was as far as the eye could see.
Eli-da-mage let out a sigh, he put his kilt on and stepped out onto the porch he looked around as he took in the scenery. He put in his ipod and listened to his favorite song as he wandered into the cornfield never to return home.
The End!
<3B)
:police:
<_<:lol::happy:
![=]](https://lvlt.forum.bioware.com/public/style_emoticons/default/sideways.png)
:innocent:
Chapter Nineteen: Night of the living rape.
Cartims woke up, Marbatico was nowhere to be seen! He had abondoned her in the middle of the night. Plus the building was still on fire. Cartims had to get out of there. She took a peak out side. Randumb Vangaurd nor anyother special violators was seen anywhere.
She stepped out of the saw mill. She had to get out of the town and get help.
Radumb Vangaurd: Mahaha not so fast!
The crazy rapist was laughing from on top of a house.
Randumb: You fool do you really think you can escape? Marbatico fled in the middle of the night you are trapped!
Then the special violators appeared like fast zombies and surrounded Cartims, among them was her father Lord_Valandil.
Randumb: Mahaha before we all get our chance to rape you I think it would be fitting for your father to be the first one to do so.
Cartim: Go to hell!
Randumb: MAHAHAHA
Cartims looked at her father as he became arroused and was getting ready to rape her.
cartims: Father please. You have to remember, you aren't one of them you aren't a rapist.
Lord_Valandil: Ugh...your....right....cause.....IMAH FIRIN MEH LAZAR!
Lord_Valandil jumped high in to the air and roasted all the special infected with a lazer that expoded out of his mouth. Randumb Vangaurd tried to escape but was roasted and died.
With the special violators dead, Cartims went on to help her father recover from being infected. Together they rebuilt the village and got married.
Chapter Twenty: Desolation and Isolation
Queen Gemaphrodite was on a quest to find her lost love! C9 came to her the other night in a erotic dream. He explained the one she loved most might still be alive. Then he tied her to a bed and tickled her with his beard, then he threw a cat at her.
She was with Timeless Winter and a Bounty Hunter she had picked up along the way, Gaurdsman and thirty of her best Royal Gaurds. They slowly made their way up a mountain pass, to the place that C9 said her love would be. The snow beat down on them, the cold bit at their fingers.
Timeless Winter: Please Gem, can we come inside?
Gem looked at the freezing Court Jester from the warm and comfortable carrige she was in. She smiled and shook her head. Timeless Winter struggled at the locked carrige doors, in a feble attempt to get inside.
Gaurdsman could only snicker and laugh, he remembered this really funny joke his friend Garrus had told him.
Gaurdsman:...but she had flexability!
Everyone except Timeless Winter: lololololololololololol
Timeless Winter: >
But little did they know that from the pass above, commander Thermos was watching them. His squinty eyes looked over Gemaphrodite and her escort. He drooled, the drool quickly froze all over his chin. He turned to his loyal crew.
commander Thermos: I know we have made sacrifices along the way to say alive. *looks at Ryoko who has a fork stuck into a part of HiddenKING's leg* And I know we are lost and cast away in a strange land. But tonight we feast! For below lies a caravan of meety *cluck* people! Leif Erikson needs us lads, we must save Norway before we all go insane! *eye twitches*
Ryoko, Gameiac, VangaurdofDestruction, GhostLightning looked at each other and wondered how they had allowed themselves to go this far, first it was listening to commander Thermos' advice to save Norway. Then it was canabalism, and there wasn't much of HiddenKING left. They had no choice but to canabalize Gem and everyone with her.
commander Thermos: *cluck* NORWAY!!!
Chapter Twentyone: Porn!
bobobo and only1sgop were still moarning the tragic loss of their dear friend Korpuls. A few hundred miles back he had chokes on a cat. A few hours later the hiemlich was invented. It was truely tragic.
bobobo and onlu1sgop where in the middle of a desert, there was sand as far as the eye could see, the sun beat down on them. bobobo sweated like a fat guy in a microwave oven. They both dispised the fact they were exhiled. They was really board too.
only1sgop: I know, how about a game?
bobobo: What are you suggesting?
only1sgop: How about tag?
bobobo: Tag? Seriously?
only1sgop: Tag, your it!
The teenaged elf took off, he ran like a constipated mule. He giggled and laughed as he left bobobo in the dust. He ran until he fell flat on his face. He rolled around like a turtle cause he couldn't get up. bobobo casually walked up behind him and tagged only1sgop. Then bobobo was like-
bobobo: WOAH!
only1sgop: What?
bobobo: WOAH!
only1sgop slowly got up and looked in the direction the human was looking.
only1sgop: WOAH!
bobobo: WOAH!
only1sgop: WOAH!
bobobo: WOAH!
only1sgop: WOAH!
bobobo: WOAH!
only1sgop: Okay, this is getting old.
Several yards infront of them was a attractive young maiden. She had dirty blonde hair, it was curly and sholder length, she wore a tattered white blouse with sleeves that had golden designs embroidered into it. In addition she wore tattered skin tight trousers and thigh boots of the same color and emroidered design.
It was Armenian Oracle, she was gagged and bound while she was thigh deep in quicksand. She stuggled to get free, she wiggled back and forth but she slowly sank up to her waist. She was stuck.
only1sgop: She is soo hawt!
bobobo: Agreed.
only1sgop: This is almost turning me on!
bobobo: Damn! If only we had the means to electronically record this questionable content and distribute it through some sort of form of private viewing via a world wide eletronic network! We could make millions!
only1sgop: Nah, it will never happen.
bobobo: Yeah, your probably right.
only1sgop: Wana help her out?
bobobo: Duh! Then maybe she will sleep with us for a reward.
only1sgop: Way ahead of you.
only1sgop got to work, he grabbed a life preserver that he had stollen from the Titantic. But that's another story. He squatted and stuck his hind quarters out and threw the device high into the air, letting out a high pitched grunt in the processes.
bobobo: Ummm, I think you should check your pants.
The life preserver landed around Armenian Oracle. They both hernaited but managed to pull Armenian Oracle to edge of the quicksand pit.
Then the reason became clear why she had become terribly stuck, C9316 had his teeth imbedded deadly into Armenian Oracle's calves!
C9: Hee hee hee!
only1sgop: YOU!
C9: Let the power of cat urine compel you!
His beard spat out dozens of cats before he exploded into a ball of flames! bobobo ripped the cat from his face and threw it into the quicksand, from there he cut her restraints.
Armenian Oracle: Thanks, you have no idea how long I was stuck there.
bobobo: Let me guess, until this chapter was written?
Armenian Oracle: No, I was exhiled from my nomadic tribe by my evil brother. He kicked me out with only the clothes on my back. A few days ago I met that crazy old wizard. He was really pissed cause someone stabbed him with a sword. So he decided to trap me in here.
bobobo: That's terrible *gets really close* you must be really lonely *winks eye*. Perhaps you would like some company. *whispers in bed* We are going to wonder aimlessly until we die, want to join us.
Armenian Oracle: Uh sure, that would be great.
only1sgop: No! How dare your brother kick out a lovely lady like yourself!
Aremenian Oracle: *blushes*
only1sgop: It's time I think we had a word with your brother. Who is he?
Armenian Oracle: The Mufflon.
Chapter Twentytwo: Toko-Terrorists
The trio trecked on through the sandy desert, they was gettin close to The Mufflon's location. It was getting windy and the sun was beging to set. The sky was set ablaze with a plethora of colors as the ball of fire in the sky descended towards the horizon.
Armenian Oracle: bobobo, will you quit looking at my boobs.
bobobo: Hey, your blouse is see though. Your just inviting a pervert like me to visually rape you.
Arme: Ewww.
only1sgop: So why did your brother exhile you?
Arme: I was next in line to rule our nomadic tribe. All I had to do was find the perfect man to be leader of my people. But my brother was angry that I was taking too long to choose. He exhiled me, then turned our nomadic tribe into a bunch of radicals!
bobobo: That's horrible.
only1sgop: So tell me who would this perfect man be.
Arme: He would have to be man, yet bird at the same time. He would have to have dreamy eyes, be very muscular, faily tan, wonderfull smooth skin, very little body hair, good looks and have a large, well you know.
bobobo: Sounds like Captain Cornhole if you ask me.
Arme: *drools*
only1sgop: >
Arme, bobobo: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
THEN SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE THEY WAS SURROUNDED BY EVIL LOOKING PEOPLE HOLDING SHARP POINTY SWORDS! THESE PEOPLE WERE DRESSED IN TATTERED GARBS AND LOOKED ANGRY!
The three of them back up against each other as the people with swords encroached in around them.
only1sgop: How are you guys?
Random Guy: We are the Toko-Terrorists! You were warned Armenian Oracle not to return on penalty of death. Therefore you must kill you until you die from it. Take them to our leader!
Chapter Twentythree: Nomadic Terrorism
They were escorted into a gigantic elaborate tent, it was set up around a number of smaller tents. The inside was filled with various nomadic carpets and couches, lying on the biggest and most elaborate one was The Mufflon.
The trio was forced to kneel on the ground as The Mufflon approched them.
The Mufflon: Like YO! Welcome crazy groopies to my tent! You are welcome to enjoy our tribes finest nomadic women. But for you Arme, how dare you return. For that you will be exicuted, a be-heading I think is in order. It will be awesome. Almost as awesome as I am, or my theme song for that matter.
The Mufflon: That's right I know your jeleous.
His men applauded and cheered.
only1sgop: Why are you being mean to Arme?
The Mufflon: Because I'm awesome duh.
The Mufflon: And have I mentioned our tribes many prostitutes?
only1sgop: Why does that music play everytime you talk?
The Muflon: Because I'm awesome, havn't I already explained this?
Arme: You son of a ****! Your abusing the powers of tribal leader that are sacred and a tribute to our ancestors. Your turning our people into a bunch of crazy radical terrorists.
The Mufflon: I could careless what our ancestors feel. While you was gone our tribe has learned to tame giant wild eagles! And using them we shall take over the world! We will make them poop on people and fly into buildings! MAHAHAHAHAHA But first! I have a epic plan to firebomb Woodstalk, so your exicution will have to wait. Come lads to the giant flying eagles!
The Mufflon ran out of the tent waving his sword in the air. That was proceeded by him and his army of terrorists mounting their eagles and taking flight. Only Adriano was left to gaurd Armenian Oracle, she was sitting on a coach with bobobo and only1sgop.
only1sgop: *whispering* We have to go after the mufflon, before those birds poop all over WoodStalk.
bobobo: *whispering* I have never done a heroric thing in my life, but I agree with you. We must for Arme's sake. *stares at boobs*
Arme: *whispering* Thanks guys *hugs*, I have just met you and you want to help me out. What is it about me that makes people so kind?
bobobo: *stares at boobs*
onl1sgop: *whispering* We can't get out of her with Adriano still there.
Arme: *whispering* I have a plan.
She got up and slowly walked over to Adriano, he reached for his sword. But hesitated when he noticed Armenian Oracle was so attractive.
Adriano: Sup?
Quickly she pounced on her victim, and smuthered him with her hair. Quickly her curly dirty blonde hair wrapped around Adriano's neck. He was dead. Armenian Oracle grabbed his sword.
Arme: Come, lets move.
She ran out to the nearest Eagle.
bobobo: *shudders* Remind me never to sleep with her.
Several mins later all three were airborne, each with their own weapons and Eagles. They were hawt on The Mufflon's-
-trail.
Chapter Twentytfour: The desent
Unable to find WoodStalk, the terrorist leader turned his attention to the next biggest target, Queen Gemaphrodite.
The Queen and her escort stood still as they looked up at the massive glaicer that was infront of them. It made Timeless Winter arrogant and smelly.
Gem: What's that smell?
Timeless Winter: Say Gem, I'm getting some crazy plot motives that tell me that we should climb this glaicer.
Gaurdsman: Why climb it when there is an escalator?
Gaurdsman stood pointing to a escalator on the side of the gaicer.
Gem: Hey good point, I'm allergic to climbing anyhow.
They took the glaical escalator and it took them to the top, from there they trecked many miles up the start of the glaicer. At it's starting point was a tunnel, which led into the side of a upside down Pyramid, which was part of the mountains.
Gem stood there freezing, she could see her breath infront of her. She looked into the dark tunnel, she had a bad feeling, but yet she had to venture inside because the pants were almost down from the top of the sky.
Gemaphrodite: Gaurds stay here, keep a look out for anything that approches. Timeless Winter, Gaurdsman come with me.
The both shrugged and followed after the brave queen into the dark tunnel. As they ventured further into the tunnel it became darker and the snow gave way to the pyrimid's stone rocks. Then from the darkness Gaurdsman spotted a figure lying on the ground. He rushed to the person.
Gaurdsman: We have wounded!
Timeless Winter and Gemaphrodite gathered around. The person was covered in blood and his entrails were hangng out of his body. The man was going into shock and mumbleing.
Gaurdsman: Stand back I'm a trained doctor.
He looked at the person, he noticed who ever it was was cross eyed.
Gaurdsman: My name is Gaurdsman, I'm here to help.
Vangaurd of Destruction: You cannot help, there is no victory against the beasts. They will get you next.
Timeless Winter: He's insane.
Vangaurd: No, I am the only sane one left. Me and my shipmates came from far away. We were hungry, we waited in here to eat you.
Gaurdsman: Go on.
Vangaurd: Our captain went insane and ran deeper into the caves, he said Norway was in danger. We went off to find him. We all thought we where alone. We were wrong.
Gaurdsman: What are you talking about!
Vaugaurd: Find my friends. Be careful, the beasts will get you next. No one is safe while-
His heart stopped, he spassed around squeezed out one last fart. Vangaurd was dead.
Gemaphrodite: What do you make of that?
Gaurdsman: Obviously drunk.
Timeless Winter: Agreed.
Gem: But what do you make of the claw marks on his chest and cross eyed-ness.
Gaurdsman and Timeless Winter looked at each other and stared.
Gaurdsman and Timeless Winter: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Gaurdsman: You seriously think there is sumthing other then us and him down here?
Gem: My true love.
Timeless Winter: Okay, be sides whom ever your true love might be?
Gem: Yes.
Timeless Winter: *faceplam*
They covered up the body and moved on. As they ventured deaper Gem became more paranoid. But Timeless Winter and Gaurdsman only made fun of her. Eventually they came to a opening that revealed a large stone cavern with various mineral formations, but the strange thing was that there was a fire in the center.
Gemaphrodite: Did you here that?
Gaurdsman: Here what?
Gemaphrodite: Sounds like voices.
Timeless Winter: Your loosing it, all I see is that camp fire.
Gem: How dare you address your Queen in that manor.
They inched closer to the fire, close enough so that they could make out some figures, four figures infact. Gaurdsman drew his sword. The four figures were barely illuminated by the orange and yellow light of the fire. You could only makeout the stone/bricks next to the fire as it quickly faded to black.
Ghostlighting: See guys I told you that people would come to rescue us.
Gameiac: You never said that!
Ryoko: As I recall, you were crying and screaming your head off.
Ghostlightning: Thats...well...Because I was hiding my true feelings for you! Damnit girl I love you!
Ryoko: Come here babe.
Ghost and Ryoko hugged and smooched in a loving embrace. Gameiac rolled his eyes as Ghostlightning's afro slowly made Ryoko pregnate.
Gem, Gaurds, Winter: O_o
Gameiac: Well...
Gem: Well?
Gameiac: You have to get us out of here! Quickly before they comeback! They already got Vangaurd of Destruction, and our captain has wondered off like a crazy gobble terkey!
Gaurdsman: Before what comes back.
Gameiac: The demons of the cave, we are trespassing on sacred ground. We must leave now.
Gaurdsman: Demons? Really, is that all you got?
Gamaphrodite: Listen to him, perhaps he is telling the truth.
Timeless Winter: AND PERHAPS SCALLOPS ARE FLYING OUT OF MEH TROUSERS!
Gaudsman and Timeless Winter: *fistpounds/bodyslam*
Timeless Winter: Wait they are only three of you, then why did we see four figures?
Gameiac: B-b-b-b-be-be-hind you!
A disgusting smegol looking creature jumped down from the ceiling. It's eyes had been gouged out and had sharp but crooked teeth. The creature was very skinny and was a shade of pasty grey. It was JRCHOharry!
Gameiac: Shoot the flying demon!
It jumped down from the ceiling and landed on top of Timeless Winter, it clawed at his neck. Timeless Winter thrashed about as JRCHOharry went in for the kill. He was about to dig his fangs into it's victims neck when Gaurdsman knocked the creature off Winter. The creature scurried around in a circle like a turtle would do if it was trying to get up. Then JRCHOharry shot his extendable tounge at Gem, it wrapped around her neck. Slowly as his gripped tightened she lost oxygen. Gaurdsman took to action, using his sword he severed the extendable tounge. JRCHOharry grew furious, he leaped at Gaurdsman. But it was easily dodged. That is when Gaurdsman fired an arrow into the creatures chest.
JRCHOharry: Hiss!
The creature quickly crawled back into the darkness.
Gaurdsman: Quickly we must not allow it to escape!
Gameiac: No there are dozens more out there. We must leave now.
Gemaphrodite: No, we can't not until we find and rescue my true love.
Gaurdsman: Then are you ready to brave dozens more of those creatures and possible there crazy captain to find who ever you love is?
Gem: Love has no bounds.
Everyone: Awwwwwwwww.
Gemaphrodite: Gameiac, get your crew ready we are going to venture deeper into the pyramid. And Timeless Winter, as court jester I need you to go back to the surface and request aid from my troops.
Chapter Twentytfive: Osiris
Timeless Winter finally made it back to the surface, the white light nearly blinded him as he exited the tunnel that led into the side of the pyamid that was in the side of a mountain. However Gemaphrodite's soilders couldn't provide aid, because they were under attack from terrorists riding Giant Eagles!
Random Soilder: Get down.
He tackled Winter to the ground and shielded him just as giant bird dropping impacted the ground. The soilder got off Winter and looked at his shield, it was covered in bird poop.
Random Soilder: That's going to stain.
Suddenly another giant eagle swooped down and carried the soilder away into the air. Timeless Winter let out a girly scream just before picking his nose. He grabbed the soilder's weapons, having never practiced combat before he decided to give it his best. He looked around as Gem's soilders were running around and firing arrows at the birds. Winter thought it best to pick his nose and provide witty comments. Then he noticed three more birds coming into the battle.
Timeless Winter: Reinforcements!
It was actually bobobo, only1sgop and Armenian Oracle, they swooped down from high up to attack the terrorists. bobobo did a BARREL ROLE directly into another eagle, they both exploded on impact! Jet fuel and feathers went everywhere, however bobobo parachuted to saftey.
bobobo: *muttering* Just like D-day all over again, minus the Germans.
But that's another story.
Armenians Oracle jumped off her Eagle, she began her free fall. Then just liked planned she landed right on the back of The Mufflon's bird.
Armenian pointed her dagger at The Mufflon-
she hesitated. She couldn't do it, she could never murder her own brother. Then he turned around and laughed like a mad man!
The Mufflon: You are week sister, that is why they chose me! Leaders must be strong.
Arme: They never chose you, you took power for yourself.
The Mufflon: Silence.
He then pimp slapped Armenian Oracle, she lost her grip and fell to the snowy ground. She was out cold.
Timeless Winter: NO!
He ran to her aid. He looked over her body, her pulse was week. He then noticed a giant eagle swooping down towards him.
Timeless Winter: FML!
The eagle attacked him and toar his body into mangled bits. The eagle then eyed Aremenian Oracle.
The Mufflon: Feast on her flesh.
only1sgop: Leave her alone!
He was on foot and pointed his wooden swords at the eagle and terrorist leader. He rushed at the eagle, it pecked at him. only1sgop rolled to the side and got close up beside the bird. Using his wooden sword he hacked the birds head off. The headless eagle spazzed out and fell to the ground, from it's ruins rose The Mufflon.
He had a mace and sword and was pissed.
The Mufflon: Do not come between The Mufflon and his prey!
only1sgop: I will avenge Armenian Oracle and Timeless Winter. You will suffar and then glory will be mine.
The Mufflon swung his mace like a weird evil villian would. only1sgop jumped back as the mace flew past. The Mufflon attack with his sword, only1sgop blocked his attacks. He then came in closer for a finishing attack, but the mace came around again and impacted his shield. The shield shattered and only1sgop was sent flying into a soilder.
He flet pain traveling up his arm, only1sgop was unable to move it. With his other hand he tried to grab a stray sword that was lying in the snow. It was barely out of reach, but as he tried to grab it he felt a cold pair of hands grasp his thoat. He looked a came to face to face with The Mufflon.
The Mufflon: Die now.
only1sgop felt the life being squeezed out of him. He was helpless.
bobobo: Huzah!
bobobo twirled his sword in the air, he swung and chopped The Mufflon in half. His body topled over and bled into the white snow.
bobobo: *helps only1sgop up* You okay.
only1sgop: I have been better, I think my arm is broken.
bobobo: Lets find cover!
They hid underneath a rock just as a eagle pooped over their position.
only1sgop: Wait, what about Armenian Oracle?
They looked to where her body was, she was gone.
bobobo: Where is she? I want to look at her boobies!
Chapter Twentytsix: Pandorica
Queen Gemaphrodite, Gaurdsman, Ryoko, Gameiac and Ghostlightning entered a large chamber, there were many large stone pilars extending down from the stone roof. The natral minerals gave off a blue light that illuminated the chamber. In the center was a stone cube that had many strange carvings and hyrogyphs on it.
Gaurdsman: What is this place?
Gameiac: I'm getting bad vibes man!
Gaurdsman: Your right, we should leave.
Gaurdsman began to turn around.
Gemaphrodite: No! This is the place, my true love is trapped inside that stone cube.
Gaurdsman: How do you know this?
Gemaphrodite: Just a hunch.
Ryoko: I have my true love right here. *winks at Ghostlightning*
Ghostlightning: Your all I'll ever need in the world. *winks at Ryoko*
Gameiac: *vomits*
Slowly they approched the stone cube. The cube had a strange aura about it, it gave off a strange feeling. It made everyone uneasy.
Gemaphrodite walked up to the cube and stared at it.
Gaurdsman: Hurry up and do what you have to do, I'll stand watch.
Gemaphrodite got up close and felt it, she put her ear up to it. Then she knocked twice. The sound vibrated throughout the cavern then there was a long silence. Then from the inside came three responding knocks. Gem jumped back.
Gameiac: That's creepy.
Gemaphrodite: Any ideas on how to open this thing?
Ghostlightning: *grabs Ryoko* Look over there!
Everyone turned around and clustered together from fear.
Gameiac: I don't see anything.
Gaurdsman: Wait! I see it now.
Gameiac dove onto the ground and grabbed Gaurdsman's leg and began to cry!
Gaurdsman: Get ahold of yourself man!
Gaurdsman slowly approched what he saw. Next to one of the stone pilliars was a dark figure who was hunched over and mumbling to himself.
Ryoko: Carefull it could be another one of those JRCHOharry things.
???: N-n-n-n-orway!
Ghostlightning: commander Thermos?
commander Thermos: L-l-l-l-ief Erickson *cluck*
Ghostlighting: Are you okay? There are people here, that can help us.
commander Thermos: *bock/cluck* H-h-elp? Where were they when N-n-n-orway was being sacked by field mice?
Ryoko: Your sick you need help, before you go insane.
commander Thermos: Insane? Me and leif Erikson are the only *cluck*sane ones left, he tells me things, and I listen. It-wants-me-to-kill-you-
Gaurdsman: *grabs sword* Get back!
commander Thermos:-kill-you-but-I-won't-I-won't-I-I-I-AM ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!
commander Thermos stood up, his eyes were glowwing yellow and he foamed at the mouth.
Ryoko: Quickly,Gameiac drop your drawers! Lief Erikson is possesing him!
Gameiac: *drops drawers*
Ghostlightning: That's not the ghost of Leif Erikson! He is possessed by the ghost of Captain Cornhole!
Gaurdsman raised his bow and arrow.
commander Thermos reached for his flintlock.
Gaurdsman: Scatter!
commander Thermos fired! The flintlock's bullet headed straight for Ryoko as everyone scattered.
Ghostlightning: No!
He jumped infront of the bullets path, the round entered Ghost's afro. He tumbeled to the cold rock ground, Ryoko rushed to his side.
commander Thermos fired again this time the bullet entered Ryoko, she collasped on top of her lover.
Gaurdsman: I'll handel this.
Gemaphrodite and Gameiac hid around the corner of the stone cube. Gaurdsman reached for his bow and arrow, but by that time commander Thermos was already reloaded. He aimed the flintlock at Gaurdsman, who was still setting his bow. Gaurdsman knew it was the end for him, there was no way he could get a shot off intime. Suddenly a giant pilliar tumbled over and squashed the commander dead.
Gaurdsman looked to where the pilliar use to stand, there bobobo and only1sgop stood there smiling.
only1sgop: Say have you seen a fair maiden around these parts? Really attractive, perky, thigh high boots, dirty blonde hair, nearly see through blouse.
Gaurdsman pointed to Armenian Oracle who was in tears and looking at the squished body of commander Thermos.
bobobo: Wah? I thought she loved me!
onlysgop: No she loves Captain Cornhole, you idiot. Who can resist such a sexy studmuffin.
Chapter Twentytseven: Full Circle
Gameiac: They're back!
Gameiac screamed and screamed again then pulled up his drawers! Because encroaching around them was JRCHOharry, saMOOrai, ME2IsAwesomelyAwesome and they were pissed.
saM: Hiss!
JRCHOharry: Hiss!
saM: Hiss!
ME2: ******!
JRCHOharry: GTFO out of my PYRAMID!
Gaurdsman: Everyone get together!
only1sgop, bobobo, Gaurdsman, Queen Gemaphrodite, and Gameiac got in a circle around the wounded Ryoko and Ghostlighting. They formed a defensive paremeter around them. Without medical treatment they would die.
only1sgop: Arme, get over here now!
She shook her head, and frowned at only1sgop as she was weeping over the dead body of commander Thermos.
bobobo: Now! JRCHOharry and his pals will eat you!
Armenian Oracle: I don't care!
Suddenly Marbaitco dropped down from teh ceiling and loaded his shotgun!
Marbatico: Get her to saftey!
Gaurdsman grabbed Arme just as JRCHOharry and his palls rushed at her.
Marbatico: IMA FIRIN MEH SHOT GUN!
Gaurdsman put his hands over Arme's eyes as Marbatico fought off the hoard.
Then ME2 pounced on Marbatico, JRCHOharry went in and bit off his leg, saM went in a bite at Marbatico's thoat. He was near death.
Marbatico: Goodbye world!
He pulled a pin on a gernade and shoved it down his pants. Kaboom, he was gone. However JRCHOharry and his friends were unphased. They hissed at Gem's group.
Then there was some rumbling as The Mufflon exploded through part of the chamber. He was reborn, as a Giant Eagle with human legs and arms. With him was a platoon of Toko-Terrorists.
The Mufflon: I am reborn! Fear me, I am the Bird Man of Alkatraz!
The villians slowly encircled them. There was like totally no hope. Gemaphrodite broke down in tears. Gaurdsman embraced her.
*warning ham alert!*
Gemaphrodite: We came soo close, and it looks like this is it.
She looked into Gaurdsman's eyes, as scrawny and wrinkly as they were He did the same. As there enemies came closer so did Gaurdsman and Gemma. Until they were a lips distance apart, and about ready to kiss.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8TBcoxD8HA
Gaurdsman: I lov-
Then a sliver of white light radiated from a crack in the stone cube as it began to open. Slowly it began to expand as the gap drew wider. Eventually the front was open all the way and inside a figure was sillohetted against the light.
Gemaphrodite: Impossible.
Gameiac: *drops draws*
only1sgop: Brilliant.
Gaurdsman: Damnit!
The figure slowly began to walk out, he was human. As the light illuminated most of the room, Gemaphrodite saw his face.
Gemaphrodite: Mandykins!
Mandy: It has been a while.
Gemaphrodite: Yes, yes it has.
A tear fell from Gem's eye.
Mandy: Let me take care of these guys.
Everyone hissed at Mandykins, saM, JRCHOharry and ME2ISAWESOMELYAWESOME leaped in a rage of suck at Gem's love. The Mufflon sprayed barraged of bird droppings, and flapped his wings.
He motioned his hand like that of a Jedi mind trick. Then from it came a brightlight that shot out at JRCHOharry, saM, ME2, The Mufflon. As they became bathed in the white light they began to disentigrate.
JRCHOharry: Hiss!
And one by one they was all turned to dust.
Ryoko and Ghostlightning woke up, they was all healed too. Gemaphrodite embraced Mandykins in a massive hug. Gaurdsman wanted to commit suicide. Mandy pushed her away and did a awesome pose as epic music played in the background. He stood there till the music finished then embraced Gem.
Mandykins: I knew you would come to rescue me. True love has no bounds.
Gemaphrodite: How did you get in there in the first place?
Mandykins: I met a crazy wizard, he was crazy and locked me in here because of my dashing good looks. He was jeleous.
only1sgop: Crazy old wizard?
Gaurdsman: Do you mean?
C9316: Meh!
The wizard materialized in a plume of smoke ontop of the stone cube.
Gemaphrodite: You son of a ****! You did this to him!
C9: I probably did, it was a long time ago. My memory is failing me. Who are you again?
only1sgop: Then why did you lead Gem here in that Erotic Dream?
C9: Cats!
Mandy: Because he is a jeleous wizard!
C9: Exactly I wanted all over you here! It is the perfect trap. I want you all here so I can murder you and steal you body parts so I can have the perfect body! And every cat in my beard will be happy!
Gameiac: Bastard!
C9: Mandy I want your nose, Gem I want you butt, Armenian I want your bewbs, Gaurdsman I want your Genetellia, Ghostlightning your afro, Ryoko your reproductive organs, bobobo I want your thighs, only1sgop I want you ears, and Gameiac I want your -
C9 gasped and clutched the arrow in his chest, he suddenly colasped and died. The evil mastermind behind every event in this story was no more.
Ryoko: Truely a waste of a beard.
Everyone looked to Armenian Oracle who was holding Gaurdsman's bow.
Armenian Oracle: What? No one steals my bewbs.
Chapter Twentyteight: Vista
Everybody left the upside down pyramid a happy soul. At the Human Capital Queen Gemaphrodite and Mandykins got married. Gem tossed the flowers, and Ghostlightning tried to catch them. It poked his eye out, however Ryoko was there to catch them. Gameiac was made the royal Doofus in Timeless Winter's absence.
Gaurdsman hung himself the following morning.
Cartims wasn't married for long, Lord_ Valandil went crazy and sacrificed himself to a Norse god.
only1sgop, and bobobo went on to murder defenseless nuns across the world. Armenian Oracle went on to rule her nomadic tribe and to date Brennon Holmes.
Eli-da-mage was sitting at the kitchen table at his house. He chugged down a quart of ale and let out a loud belch. He was in a depression, he was unable to find the perfect woman for him. He let out a single tear. He looked out the window, the sun was setting over the horizon. And the corn he planted was grown and was as far as the eye could see.
Eli-da-mage let out a sigh, he put his kilt on and stepped out onto the porch he looked around as he took in the scenery. He put in his ipod and listened to his favorite song as he wandered into the cornfield never to return home.
The End!
<3B):police:<_<:lol::happy::innocent:
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 18 décembre 2010 - 03:47 .
#112
Posté 18 décembre 2010 - 03:42
Ponce de Leon
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YUS! Nuke explosion death!
GLORIOUS! Thanks man, I appreciate you heard what I wanted ^^
GLORIOUS! Thanks man, I appreciate you heard what I wanted ^^
#113
Posté 18 décembre 2010 - 05:10
Kaiser Arian XVII
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- 17 286 messages
so it is finally finished ... I read it tomorrow
#114
Posté 18 décembre 2010 - 10:12
marbatico
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- 2 323 messages
wait, 3 guys are pretty much ON TOP OF ME, i make a grenade explode and they still wont die?! what are those guys made of? adamantium?
#115
Posté 19 décembre 2010 - 05:59
TheMufflon
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- 2 265 messages
It's true; I deliver a mean pimp slap.
Modifié par TheMufflon, 19 décembre 2010 - 06:06 .
#116
Posté 19 décembre 2010 - 06:02
Darthnemesis2
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to quote Desmond Miles
"What the f*ck!?!"
"What the f*ck!?!"
