Mass Effect Machinima proposal/request - Dinner for One: Mess Affected

Pals, I just had the idea of a lifetime. Someone with scripting/machinima expertise might want to try this out:

Dinner for One: Mess Affected

Basically it is Femshep staring as Miss Sophie (Shepard-Commander) and Legion doing the Butler James: The script as follows:


The Setting:  Is set in the Normandy SR1 Mess Hall. On the floor between the table and the serving bar is a Turian rug, complete with (Sovereign controlled-) Saren's head. Miss Sophie (played by Femshep) comes down the stairs into the Mess Hall. Her butler, James (played by Legion), greets her...
Legion: Good evening, Shepard-Commander, good evening.
Femshep: Good evening, Legion.
Legion: You are looking very well this evening, Shepard-Commander.
Femshep: Well, I got better, thank you, Legion.
Legion: Good, good...
Femshep: Well, I must say that everything looks nice.
Legion: Thank you very much, Shepard-Commander, thank you.
Femshep: Is everybody here?
Legion: Indeed, they are, yeah. Yes... They are all here for your anniversary, Shepard-Commander.
Femshep: All five places are laid out?
Legion: All laid out as usual.
Femshep: Wrex?
Legion: Wrex, yes, he's sitting here this year, Shepard-Commander.
No one except Femshep is seated at the table as Legion indicates where the four invisible guests are seated.
Femshep: Admiral Hackett?
Legion: Admiral Hackett is sitting here, Shepard-Commander.
Femshep: Mr.Valorn?
Legion: Mr. Valorn, I put round here for you.
Femshep: And my very dear friend, Sovereign?
Legion: On your right, as you requested, Shepard-Commander!
Femshep: Thank you, Legion. You may now serve the soup.
Legion: The soup, thank you very much, Shepard-Commander, thank you. They are all waiting for you. Little drop of calamari gumbles soup, Shepard-Commander?
Femshep: I am particularly fond of calamari gumbles soup, Legion.
Legion: Yes, I know you are.
Femshep: I think we'll have sherry with the soup.
Legion: Sherry with the soup, yes... Oh, by the way, the same procedure as last year, Shepard-Commander?
Femshep: Same procedure as every year, Legion. Is that a dry sherry, Legion?
Legion: Yes, a very dry sherry, Shepard-Commander... very dry. Straight out of the cellar, this morning, Shepard-Commander

Legion goes around the table pouring sherry for each guest. Then he walks over to the serving bar with the sherry bottle, tripping on the Saren rug head as he does so. He puts the bottle down and goes back to the table, standing behind the chair where Wrex is supposedly seated. He lifts Wrex's glass and makes a toasting gesture towards Femshep, who also has a glass in her hand.
Femshep: Wrex!
Legion: Shepard!
Legion takes a drink for Wrex.
Femshep: Admiral Hackett!
Legion: Ad... Must I say it this year, Shepard-Commander?
Femshep: Just to please me, Legion.
Legion: Just to please you. Very good, yes, yes... Skol!
Legion drinks and clicks his heels together as he says "Skol!" and reacts in pain.
Femshep: Mr. Valorn!
Legion: (in falsetto voice) Ah yes *airquotes* "Happy New Year" a human celebration allegedly recurring every year, we have dismissed those claims!
Legion drinks the entire glass for Mr. Valorn.
Femshep: And dear Sovereign!
Legion: (in perfect imitation of course) You are not Saren ...
Femshep: You may now serve the fish.
Legion: Fish. Very good, Shepard-Commander. Did you enjoy the soup?
Femshep: Delicious, Legion.
Legion: Thank you, Shepard-Commander, glad you enjoyed it.
Legion hobbles over to the serving bar, once again stumbling over the Saren head. Takes a Hanar over to Femshep.
Legion: Little bit of Blasto, Shepard-Commander.
Femshep: I think we'll have white wine with the Hanar.
Legion: White wine with the Hanar? The same procedure as last year, Shepard-Commander?
Femshep: The same procedure as every year, Legion!
Legion: Yea!
Legion goes over to get the white wine, once again stumbling over the Saren head. He gets the wine bottle and fills each person's glass. As he pours for Wrex, he has an imaginary, silent conversation with Wrex, then pours him some more wine as if it had been requested. As he takes the bottle back to the serving bar he fails to stumble over the Saren head, provoking laughter from the studio audience. Then he heads back to the table and stumbles over the Saren head.
Femshep: Wrex!
Legion: Shepard.
Legion drinks the wine from the glass of each guest as he toasts/greets Femshep.
Femshep: Admiral Hackett!
Legion: Oh, must I, Shepard-Commander?
Femshep: Legion, please!
Legion: Skol! Clicks heels together and again reacts in pain.
Femshep: Mr. Valorn!
Legion: Ah yes *airquotes* "gal" a friendly common speak idiom allegedly meaning girl/femalefriend, we have dismissed those claims!
Femshep: Sovereign!
Legion: Rudimentary Creatures of blood and flesh, you touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance ...
Legion is now showing the effects of his many toasts, weaving about and hesitating as he rounds the table. He takes Femshep's plate.
Femshep: Please serve the duck!
Legion: Ya...
Legion stumbles over to the serving bar, tripping over the Saren head. He brings the duck (grunt-head) to Femshep, wobbling as he does so.
Femshep: That looks a very fine bird!
Legion: That's a lovely duh... dud... duck, that I'll tell you, a lovely...
Femshep: I think we'll have champagne with the duck!
Legion: Champagne, ya... Same, same prosheeed-ure as last year, Shepard-Commander?
Femshep: The same procedure as every year, Legion!
Legion stumbles over to the serving bar for the champagne, again tripping over the Saren head. He pours champagne for each person, now wobbling and weaving even more than before.
Legion (now with Harbinger Cutscene): I know you feel this...
Femshep: Admiral Hackett!
Legion: Must I, Shepard-Commander?
Femshep: Legion!
Legion: Schkol!
James tries to click his heels but misses and dances (the robot of course) about for a moment.
Femshep: Mr. Valorn!
Legion: Ah yes, *airquotes* "Alcohol", an intoxicant allegedly causing severe mental dysfunctions, we have approved those claims...
Femshep: Sovereign!
Legion: There's a realm of existance so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am SOVEREIGN...
Legion makes a loud burping sound , then grabs Femshep's chair, almost tipping her over backwards. He somehow manages to take her plate of duck (Grunt-Head) over to the bar, stumbling over the Saren head as the plate flies up in the air.
Legion: Would you like some fruit?
Takes a fruit plate over to Femshep, zooming past her and half-way up the stairs, then back down to her.
Femshep: I think we'll have port with the fruit!
Legion: Oh, no! Sa... same procedure, sa... same procedure as last...
Femshep: Yes, the same procedure as every year, Legion!
Legion gets the bottle of port and returns, shakily, to the table. He has difficulty pouring the port, sloshing it all over as he attempts to pour for Femshep and her guests. Finally, he takes a swig from the bottle as he hops over the Saren head. He then returns to the table, wobbily.
Femshep: Wrex!
Legion: Shepard.
Femshep: Admiral Hackett!
Legion: Schkol!
Femshep: Mr. Valorn!
Legion: (Spills glass) I'm sorry, Commander, sorry. (Scoops the spilled port off the table cloth into his glass and drinks.)
Femshep: Mr. Sovereign!
Legion accidentally grabs a flower vase, removes the flowers and drinks from the vase.
Legion: Huuhh, I'll kill that implants!
Femshep: Well, Legion, it's been a wonderful party!
Legion: Well, it's been most enjoyable.
Femshep: And I, I think I'll retire.
Legion: You're going to bed? Sit down, I'll give you a hand up, Commander.
Legion escorts Femshep to the base of the stairs.
Femshep: As I was saying, I think I'll retire.
Legion: Ya... ya, ya. By the way, the same procedure as last year, Shepard Commander?
Femshep: The same procedure as every year Legion!
Legion: Well, I'll do my very best!
The two go up the Normandy SR1 stairs and disappear.


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Now I hope you had at least a fraction of the fun I had imagining this scene and I even more so hope I inspired some super-being casually visiting our puny forums to put this script into action (might be an utopia given all those atypical movements but hey, hope dies last) and make this humble script into neverending awesomeness!

Anyway, feel free to give us your own version of Dinner for One if you feel like making one, we'll be sure to like to see more of them!