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[JiGsAw2453]

Lizardviking wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

For my FanFic:

Do you guys think I should describe the rooms of the Normandy SR-2? or assume that it is mostly Mass Effect fans that are going to read it (and therefore already know what the rooms look like) and just have the room names?... I like describing things, but Mass Effect fans might think "When is the main plot going to happen??"

Well. The rooms are not that detailed. You can describe the room if there something personal in them, like whats on Shepard's desk (medals? Picture of Liara?).

So yes. Describe the rooms if you wish, how a room is decorated can in-directly tell us about a character.

I will

I meant the more obvious things like "Shepard stood in the port observation deck, a room located on the third floor, it's large glass window overlooking the wonders of the observable universe." Or shall I just say "Shepard stood in the Port Observation deck..."?

Modifié par JiGsAw2453, 31 mars 2011 - 08:25 .

[Robhuzz]

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

Lizardviking wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

For my FanFic:

Do you guys think I should describe the rooms of the Normandy SR-2? or assume that it is mostly Mass Effect fans that are going to read it (and therefore already know what the rooms look like) and just have the room names?... I like describing things, but Mass Effect fans might think "When is the main plot going to happen??"

Well. The rooms are not that detailed. You can describe the room if there something personal in them, like whats on Shepard's desk (medals? Picture of Liara?).

So yes. Describe the rooms if you wish, how a room is decorated can in-directly tell us about a character.

I will

I meant the more obvious things like "Shepard stood in the port observation deck, a room located on the third floor, it's large glass window overlooking the wonders of the observable universe." Or shall I just say "Shepard stood in the Port Observation deck..."?

I'd imagine everyone interested in reading fanfiction about ME characters, will have played all the games (probably multiple times) and so I'd just stick with "Shepard stood in the port observation deck" 

[JiGsAw2453]

centauri2002 wrote...

If there's a point to it, then yes. Description is great for immersion but it can also be tedious. Brief descriptions are probably best for unimportant areas but if you're introducing something important then taking time on it is fine. More importantly, it depends on the type of scene you're writing. If it's slow paced then taking a paragraph to describe the texture of a bulkhead probably isn't going to seem odd but action scenes tend to need a quicker pace. It's all about balance really. Hope that helps.

It is a slow paced scene, but it is an unimportant room I'll probably go for breif descriptions like "Shepard stood in the port observation deck, a room located on the third floor, it's large glass window overlooking the wonders of the observable universe."

[JiGsAw2453]

Robhuzz wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

Lizardviking wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

For my FanFic:

Do you guys think I should describe the rooms of the Normandy SR-2? or assume that it is mostly Mass Effect fans that are going to read it (and therefore already know what the rooms look like) and just have the room names?... I like describing things, but Mass Effect fans might think "When is the main plot going to happen??"

Well. The rooms are not that detailed. You can describe the room if there something personal in them, like whats on Shepard's desk (medals? Picture of Liara?).

So yes. Describe the rooms if you wish, how a room is decorated can in-directly tell us about a character.

I will

I meant the more obvious things like "Shepard stood in the port observation deck, a room located on the third floor, it's large glass window overlooking the wonders of the observable universe." Or shall I just say "Shepard stood in the Port Observation deck..."?

I'd imagine everyone interested in reading fanfiction about ME characters, will have played all the games (probably multiple times) and so I'd just stick with "Shepard stood in the port observation deck" 

That is what I was thinking too ... I'm also using my FanFic for my English Coursework :L So I might need to describe them briefly...

[Robhuzz]

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

Robhuzz wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

Lizardviking wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

For my FanFic:

Do you guys think I should describe the rooms of the Normandy SR-2? or assume that it is mostly Mass Effect fans that are going to read it (and therefore already know what the rooms look like) and just have the room names?... I like describing things, but Mass Effect fans might think "When is the main plot going to happen??"

Well. The rooms are not that detailed. You can describe the room if there something personal in them, like whats on Shepard's desk (medals? Picture of Liara?).

So yes. Describe the rooms if you wish, how a room is decorated can in-directly tell us about a character.

I will

I meant the more obvious things like "Shepard stood in the port observation deck, a room located on the third floor, it's large glass window overlooking the wonders of the observable universe." Or shall I just say "Shepard stood in the Port Observation deck..."?

I'd imagine everyone interested in reading fanfiction about ME characters, will have played all the games (probably multiple times) and so I'd just stick with "Shepard stood in the port observation deck" 

That is what I was thinking too ... I'm also using my FanFic for my English Coursework :L So I might need to describe them briefly...

Just state that the work is written for those who have some knowledge of the ME franchise. That'll fix it up. Besides, is it really necessary for people to know exactely where you characters are at every moment? (EG Liara is in room A, Shepard is in room B, they are now... 16,3 feet way from eachother) If so, I doubt it'd do the quality of the story a lot of good

[JiGsAw2453]

Robhuzz wrote...

Just state that the work is written for those who have some knowledge of the ME franchise. That'll fix it up. Besides, is it really necessary for people to know exactely where you characters are at every moment? (EG Liara is in room A, Shepard is in room B, they are now... 16,3 feet way from eachother) If so, I doubt it'd do the quality of the story a lot of good

Fair point I think I will just go for "Shepard stood in the port observation deck"

[Tyrannosaurus Rex]

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

I meant the more obvious things like "Shepard stood in the port observation deck, a room located on the third floor, it's large glass window overlooking the wonders of the observable universe." Or shall I just say "Shepard stood in the Port Observation deck..."?

Then I will say no. If it is something reduntant then there is no need to add it.

[Centauri2002]

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

Fair point I think I will just go for "Shepard stood in the port observation deck"

If it's for your coursework I would say write it as if the reader has fresh eyes to the story, as that's how it'll be marked.

[JiGsAw2453]

centauri2002 wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

Fair point I think I will just go for "Shepard stood in the port observation deck"

If it's for your coursework I would say write it as if the reader has fresh eyes to the story, as that's how it'll be marked.

I have another story that is nothing to do with Mass Effect that is completely of my own mind I might just give that in instead, then I can focus my FanFic for the reading pleasures of Mass Effect fans

[TheMarshal]

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

It is a slow paced scene, but it is an unimportant room I'll probably go for breif descriptions like "Shepard stood in the port observation deck, a room located on the third floor, it's large glass window overlooking the wonders of the observable universe."

That's a little...  factual.  Exposition should be about immersion, about setting the scene so that the reader feels that they're in the story.  If they feel that they're reading a story, then you haven't done your job.

The last part - "overlooking the wonders of the observable universe" is pretty good stuff, though.

[JiGsAw2453]

TheMarshal wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

It is a slow paced scene, but it is an unimportant room I'll probably go for breif descriptions like "Shepard stood in the port observation deck, a room located on the third floor, it's large glass window overlooking the wonders of the observable universe."

That's a little...  factual.  Exposition should be about immersion, about setting the scene so that the reader feels that they're in the story.  If they feel that they're reading a story, then you haven't done your job.

The last part - "overlooking the wonders of the observable universe" is pretty good stuff, though.

I've decided against doing the description for the rooms, most ME fans will have a pretty good understanding of what is in the rooms

It was only factual before, because I was going to use it for my English coursework, and I'm pretty sure my teacher has never played Mass Effect ;P

But I'm not using it for my English coursework anymore, so I dont really need much description for something like an unimportant room :L

Also, should I describe what Shepard looks like, or shall I leave it so you guys can imagine your own Shepard (Just with the name I used :L)

[TheMarshal]

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

I've decided against doing the description for the rooms, most ME fans will have a pretty good understanding of what is in the rooms

It was only factual before, because I was going to use it for my English coursework, and I'm pretty sure my teacher has never played Mass Effect ;P

But I'm not using it for my English coursework anymore, so I dont really need much description for something like an unimportant room :L

Also, should I describe what Shepard looks like, or shall I leave it so you guys can imagine your own Shepard (Just with the name I used :L)

Whether you describe your Shepard depends on how you want the story to play out.  It this your Shepard, or is this a Shepard?  Everything I've written (with one exception) has been a story about my Shepard, so I go into detail about how she looks, thinks, and behaves.  If those things aren't important, then you can probably skip over them.

[JiGsAw2453]

TheMarshal wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

I've decided against doing the description for the rooms, most ME fans will have a pretty good understanding of what is in the rooms

It was only factual before, because I was going to use it for my English coursework, and I'm pretty sure my teacher has never played Mass Effect ;P

But I'm not using it for my English coursework anymore, so I dont really need much description for something like an unimportant room :L

Also, should I describe what Shepard looks like, or shall I leave it so you guys can imagine your own Shepard (Just with the name I used :L)

Whether you describe your Shepard depends on how you want the story to play out.  It this your Shepard, or is this a Shepard?  Everything I've written (with one exception) has been a story about my Shepard, so I go into detail about how she looks, thinks, and behaves.  If those things aren't important, then you can probably skip over them.

I did do a scene where Shepard is thinking about the mission on "Torfan" (ruthless background)... And It is kind of written towards my Shep, but I think people could still imagine the way she looks by imagining their Shepard because I currently have not said much about her appearance

[Centauri2002]

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

I did do a scene where Shepard is thinking about the mission on "Torfan" (ruthless background)... And It is kind of written towards my Shep, but I think people could still imagine the way she looks by imagining their Shepard because I currently have not said much about her appearance

If you're writing the story from her perspective, and I'm guessing you are since you had her reflecting on Torfan, then it won't be unusual that you don't describe her. One hardly thinks about the way they look on a daily basis.

[JiGsAw2453]

centauri2002 wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

I did do a scene where Shepard is thinking about the mission on "Torfan" (ruthless background)... And It is kind of written towards my Shep, but I think people could still imagine the way she looks by imagining their Shepard because I currently have not said much about her appearance

If you're writing the story from her perspective, and I'm guessing you are since you had her reflecting on Torfan, then it won't be unusual that you don't describe her. One hardly thinks about the way they look on a daily basis.

A good point :L

But it is in third person, and many books I've read in 3rd person give a description of the main character's features ;P

[JiGsAw2453]

Btw... I'm not talking about major description like you would do for another character in the story... Just something like "her small, yet firm hands wrapped around the glass as she brought it up to her soft, tender lips"

Modifié par JiGsAw2453, 31 mars 2011 - 10:19 .

[JiGsAw2453]

Fiddles_stix wrote...

Hypothetically you could get rid of either soft or tender as both are being used to mean the same thing
That particular example though I don't have a problem with for some reason

It sounds better when you use two words to describe something IMO... "to her soft lips"... "to her soft, tender lips" <- that just sounds better to me I don't know why ;L... Maybe I could use a different word with a less similar meaning...

[JiGsAw2453]

Fiddles_stix wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

It sounds better when you use two words to describe something IMO... "to her soft lips"... "to her soft, tender lips" <- that just sounds better to me I don't know why ;L... Maybe I could use a different word with a less similar meaning...

voluptuous? doesn't sound quite right. I trust your judgement, do what you think best, it's your piece after all write what you want and when annoying people like me comment remember it's just my opinion, I'm certainly not right.

Your not annoying it's useful to know other people opinions

And yes "voluptuous" doesn't quite fit :L

[JiGsAw2453]

Does anyone else think that Liara will be the one to find the Reapers only real weakness?

[Centauri2002]

Fiddles_stix wrote...

She'll definitely be essential but I'm not sure if she will be the one to find the Reapers weakness. Something tells me anything in the way of a mass accelerator is going to need more than a few panel beating session to be repaired. But that begs the question will there be a deus ex machina type thingamajig that can solve the issue and what would that mean for the story?

Also the reapers are each a nation meaning they give no alliegiance to a central command structure so a lot of these weapons would be needed. I'm tempted to lean more toward the virus side of things with Legion but there's no reason that Liara couldn't save the universe instead of Shep.

I was thinking along the lines of a virus too. No matter if you're machine or organism, you're generally susceptible to viruses. How that virus will be constructed and then implemented, I'm not sure.

[JiGsAw2453]

Fiddles_stix wrote...

JiGsAw2453 wrote...

Does anyone else think that Liara will be the one to find the Reapers only real weakness?

She'll definitely be essential but I'm not sure if she will be the one to find the Reapers weakness. Something tells me anything in the way of a mass accelerator is going to need more than a few panel beating session to be repaired. But that begs the question will there be a deus ex machina type thingamajig that can solve the issue and what would that mean for the story?

Also the reapers are each a nation meaning they give no alliegiance to a central command structure so a lot of these weapons would be needed. I'm tempted to lean more toward the virus side of things with Legion but there's no reason that Liara couldn't save the universe instead of Shep.

I didn't mean she would be the one to save the universe, she would just (being the shadow broker) be the one to find out how to kill them effectively... Think about it, someone has to find a way to kill them quickly whilst conserving ammo, or maybe the Turians will create a new Anti Reaper gun ;P

If it took all those ships and all that firepower (and loads of ships ere destroyed) to defeat Sovereign, imagine the sheer force needed to kill the millions upon millions of Reapers that are heading right for us... To quote Sovereign "Our numbers will darken the skies of every world. You cannot escape your doom!" - and I agree with him