and there's more!
*chokes on cookies*
Title: If Fenris Were In Origins... (Party Banter 2)
Author: *equinexus
Game: Dragon Age: Origins/Dragon Age 2
Characters: Fenris, Leliana, Sten, Morrigan, Oghren, Wynne, Shale, Zevran
Disclaimer: Dragon Age and all things related belong to Bioware.
Author's Note: This is some party banter I believe would have occured if Fenris had been in Dragon Age: Origins. There are some minor spoilers for both games, since the dialogue is inspired by actual dialogue/events.
__ Leliana and Fenris __
Leliana: Where are your shoes, Fenris? You don't wear them?
Fenris: No.
Leliana: Why not?
Fenris: Slaves are not permitted such luxuries.
Leliana: But, you are a slave no longer. Could you not wear them now?
Fenris: I could.
Leliana: But you won't.
Fenris: No.
Leliana: An existence without shoes… How horrible!
__
Leliana: I've brought you something!
Fenris: Are those… leather boots?
Leliana: The finest! Crafted and imported straight from Antiva.
Fenris: You're giving me boots?
Leliana: Yes, I am. Is… Is there a problem?
Fenris: These are women's boots.
Leliana: They most certainly are not!
Fenris: The embroidered roses beg to differ.
Leliana: … I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
__Sten and Fenris__
Fenris: Were you… petting a kitten, just now?
Sten: No.
Fenris: I could have sworn I saw you.
Sten: You saw nothing, elf.
__Morrigan and Fenris__
Morrigan: You look unsettled, Fenris. Why do you clutch your blade so?
Fenris: I nearly killed you.
Morrigan: Why? What have I possibly done to warrant that?
Fenris: You moved, and I mistook you for darkspawn.
Morrigan: (Scoff) You're a wretched little man.
Fenris: So I'm told.
__Oghren and Fenris__
Oghren: Eh… Never thought I'd see a pointy-eared twig wield a battleaxe.
Fenris: I assume you are talking about me.
Oghren: It ain't right! Couldn't lift your sodding weapon and I'm bigger than you!
Fenris: Not from where I'm standing.
Oghren: You elves think you're just so damn clever, don't you?
__
Oghren: Heh, heh…
Fenris: Your beard is speaking again.
Oghren: A slave, huh? Following order after order, day after day…
Fenris: I hope you have a point.
Oghren: Sounds like marriage, is all I'm sayin'. Delusional wives with all their nagging and sodding rules.
Fenris: And you wonder why she left you. For a woman.
Oghren: Low blow, elf. Low blow.
__
Oghren: Figures the elf drinks fine, sissy wines.
Fenris: It figures the dwarf would smell like a brewery.
Oghren: You couldn't handle a tankard of dwarven ale if you tried, son.
Fenris: Care to make it interesting?
Oghren: A bet? Heh, heh, you're on!
__Wynne and Fenris__
Wynne: Fenris, I feel I must address your relationship with the Warde-
Fenris: Surprising.
Wynne: … What is?
Fenris: I thought the Circle executed mages once they were no longer useful, and yet here you still are.
Wynne: I don't know where you heard such an atrocious idea. I merely wished to share that I thin-
Fenris: I heard their opinions are no longer relevant beyond that point, as well.
Wynne: (Sigh) Point taken, young man.
__
Wynne: Life is much too short to remain so angry.
Fenris: Are you lecturing again?
Wynne: If I had remained angry with those that wronged me, I would not be the woman I am today.
Fenris: A preachy, self-righteous abomination?
Wynne: Fair enough.
__Shale and Fenris__
Shale: The painted elf glows.
Fenris: You're one to talk, golem.
Shale: Does it glow on command, I wonder?
Fenris: Not anymore.
Shale: Such a shame. The painted elf is rather pretty when it glows.
Fenris: Are you… trying to flatter me?
Shale: By the stone, no! It is too squishy for me.
__
Shale: It does not like the swamp witch?
Fenris: That's an understatement.
Shale: The swamp witch would control everything if it could.
Fenris: A companion with common sense. Refreshing.
Shale: Well, it does have a like mind, after all.
__
Fenris: Birds?
Shale: The glowing elf will not mention those foul creatures again.
__Zevran and Fenris__
Zevran: Your eyes… How they linger on me.
Fenris: It is not for the reason you think.
Zevran: (Laughs) No? Then whatever could the reason be?
Fenris: I was looking at your tattoos.
Zevran: They are fascinating, are they not?
Fenris: Do they curse you with the ability to rip a man's heart from his chest?
Zevran: Well, no, but they do have the ability to remove a stranger's clothing!
__
Zevran: I trust my secret is safe with you, my dear Fenris.
Fenris: What secret?
Zevran: That's the spirit. Go team!
__
Zevran: Might I ask you a question, my friend?
Fenris: You've got nothing better to do, it seems.
Zevran: That fisting trick… Does it come in handy during special occasions?
Fenris: Special occasions?
Zevran: Oh, do not play coy! A handsome man such as yourself must have trysts often.
Fenris: Never.
Zevran: Never? As in it does not come in handy… or you've never had a tryst?
Fenris: No more questions.
Zevran: Oh, you cannot end it here! Such cruelness!
[/pathetic attempt at making cookies on-topic]
) And it has to be kind of hard and crumbly. Shortbread, perhaps?
ohwell *skips off to the gutter too*
Retour en haut
still drooling...
that's just so... leliana 
