1554 réponses à ce sujet

[ADLegend21]

More dialouge! I'm tapped out at the moment.

[harmonator62]

Legion: Lawson-Operative, we have a query.



Miranda: Yes Legion?



Legion: Do Cerberus personnel typically enter hostile environments without viable armor?



Miranda: Cerberus allows us to do our jobs however we see fit. Why do you care what I wear?



Legion: This platform has been in 5 battle scenarios with Lawson-Operative and Jacob-Follower. The total number of deaths and subsequent revivals currently stands at 25 at an average of 5 per engagment. Other non-armored organics also experience high levels of deaths during combat.



Miranda: What's your point, Geth?



Legion: We believe overall squad health and performance would improve by 481 percent if all non-organics wore armor during battle.



Miranda: Hmm. Sounds like a good idea actually. I'll put in a request to the Illusive Man and see if he can provide anything. Cerberus has already put a lot of money into this mission though.



Legion: This platform knows Miranda-Operative is lying. We have intercepted a dozen messages from the Illusive Man to Miranda-Operative detailing armor currently hidden in no less than 6 compartments in the Normandy. These are easily accessible and...



Miranda: Okay, okay. Enough Legion. Look, I like how I feel in this...uniform. Besides, I distract more enemies than I can kill with this on. Why would I ever want to squeeze myself into tight armor?



Legion: Lawson-Operator is mistaken. The Collectors are our primary enemy. They do not procreate. The Collectors will not find you attractive. Much is the same for the Geth.



Miranda: Fair enough Legion. What can I do for you so this stays between us?



Legion: One moment, we are building a consensus.



Legion: Consensus reached. Lawson-Operative will not allow any non-armored organic to accompany Shepard-Commander on any missions.



Miranda: Done.



Legion: *Walks away*



Miranda: *Calls up new message for Illusive Man* "The Geth has gone rouge. Send EDI programs to deactivate it."

[ADLegend21]

ooo I have one now!



Shepard's giving Wrex a tour of the New Normandy after helping grunt.



Wrex: this is a damn fine ship Shepard. you could assault a planet with this and come out victorious.

Shepard: well, big guns are a girls best friend.

Legion: Shepard-commander, we have an inquiry

Wrex: GETH! *draws Shotgun*

Shepard: WREX, stand down!

Wrex: But...it's a Geth.

Shepard: yeah, it's my geth. Wrex, this is Legion. he's an "ambassador" for the true Geth. it ame to my attention that the geth that helped Saren were called Heretics who accepted the help of sovereign while the majority of the Geth colelctive rejected it's help.

Legion: Shepard -Commander is correct. We beleived Nazara couldn't help us attain our destiny, so we rejecte dit's help to find our destiny independantly.

Wrex: Hmm, sounds like you didn't want to accept the help of a weaker ally so you told him to ****** off.

Legion: it was the equivalent of the headbutt you bestowed upon Gatatog Uvenk.

Wrex: that must have been on big headbutt.

[Sandbox47]

Kasumi: How would you go about stealing the Liberty head?

Garrus: What's that?

K: It's a huge head that was on a statue on Earth a few decades back. It's rather famous.

G: What is it made of?

K: Iron. Or copper, I don't know.

G: How big is it?

K: About the size of the Normandy's cargo bay.

G: Hmm... Why would I steal it?

K: Why does that matter?

G: If I'm stealing it out of spite, breaking parts of it doesn't matter to me. If I'm stealing it for profit I'll have to make sure that no one knows it's gone.

K: Because you are rich and you have nothing better to do but to indulge.

G: Are you planing on stealing something like that?

K: Just answer the question.

G: I wouldn't touch something like that. If that head is attached to a rock or more metal it will take the whole night to remove unless you already have the drill or lasers in place.

K: Yes, but hypthetically, how would you go about doing it.

G: I told you I wouldn't. The point is moot from there on.

K: What if you had to steal it in order to save Shepard?

G: I'd kill the one threatening her.

K: ... Fine. Mr. pessimist.

_______________________________________________________________________________



Grunt: How are you alive?

Joker: What?

G: You are weak. You cannot walk without risk of breaking. How are you alive?

J: I've got leg braces... and I'm careful.

G: But why are you not dead?

J: Ah... for the same reasons... I guess.

G: A krogan would have been killed by his family out of pity! No one wants a child that cannot walk!

J: Yeah, thanks for breaking it to me gently.

G: *laughs* I can see why they call you "Joker". *walks away*

J: O_o Hey Shepard?

Shepard: Joker?

J: Next time you decide to take on a baby krogan, a mass murderer, an elephant or a giant squid: DON'T.

_________________________________________________________________________________



Tali: I just have to tell you this. I'm sure that you don't realize.

Garrus: What is it?

T: Whenever I walk behind you, the top of your armour looks like a smiley.

G: Sorry?

T: Here, I took a picture.

G: Oh. Yeah, I've noticed.

T: So... backwards, you're a very happy person, Garrus.

G: I'm a genuine happy person.

T: Right...

G: What?

T: I could take any depresive poetry from the Migrant Fleet and read it out to you and you would be able to associate with the darkest parts.

G: I'm glad to see that you have such high opinions of me.

T: You're proud.

G: Means that I'm good at something social and not just killing.

Shepard: You've been good at something social the whole last night.

T: Did he have reach?

S: More than some. Not more than I could handle.

______________________________________________________________________________

[Shadow_Soul]

@sandbox47

Lol. Tali telling him his armor looks like smiley face, that's funny.

[Sandbox47]

Come on! Why don't people swarm to write more of this stuff?

[frozngecko]

*goes through Omega 4 Relay*



Shepard: Joker, DO A BARREL ROLL!!!

Joker: If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say that to me....

[Asari]

lol do a barrel roll!

[Noble 6]

 Can't believe I didn't find this thread earlier...
Awesome stuff everyone 

[Iakus]

Grunt:  So who'd win in a fight, you or Shepard?

Garrus:  Ugh, not this again!

Grunt:  Huh?  What are you talking about?

Garrus:  Nothing, you just remind me of someone I used to know.

[phreakscp]

Kelly Chambers: Commander, you've received a new message at your private terminal.

Shepard: I just read all my messages.  Didn't you see me standing on the other side of the Galaxy Map?

KC: Yes I did.  Maybe the e-mail system has a few bugs in it.

EDI: Microsoft doesn't make it easy for me to fix bugs in their software.  At least TIM had the foresight to install me on top of Linux.

---------------------------------------------

Shepard: So your job is to keep an eye on the crew?

Kelly Chambers: Among other things, yes.

S: Mordin mentioned something about Scale Itch onboard.  Do you happen to know anything about that?

KC: Are you implying that I brought it onboard?

S: You did say you were "very loving" and "intimacy breeds understanding".

KC: I have standards, Commander.

S: Such as?

KC: I only have sex with species capable of calculus.

[CROAT_56]

lol^

[PsychoWARD23]

 Garrus: Shepard
Shepard: Garrus
Garrus: Shepard
Shepard: Archangel
Garrus:

Modifié par PsychoWARD23, 06 janvier 2011 - 01:33 .

[ADLegend21]

(doing a Wrex tour of the normandy

Wrex: so who'd win in a fight between you and Shepard?

Joker: Me Wrex. I'd beat Shepard into a blodoy pulp. and while I'm at it, I'd skin her and use her as a seat cover so my brittle bones could have some cushon against these leather seats.

Wrex: you know, for a soft human, you sure have the brain of a Krogan Joker.

Joker: Thanks, I was going for Gory and brutal.

[Shadow_Soul]

Grunt: Your small.

Jack: Your point?

Grunt: How do you not die?

Jack: I'm a biotic b!tch.

Grunt: I see.

Jack: Is this going somewhere?

Grunt: You couldn't fight me and win.

Jack: I'd kick your f***ing ass then use your skin for a new pair of boots.

Grunt: Then fight me.

Jack: I can't. Shepard said to not fight on her ship. Plus I'd rather save it for the princess.

Grunt: You are more like a krogan then I thought.

Jack: I don't know how to take that.

Grunt: Take it however you wish. I'm going to go kill pyjacks.

Jack: Uh...okay?

--------------------------------------------------------------

Kasumi: So, your a merc?

Zaeed: Yeah. Why the hell do you want to know?

Kasumi: Just asking.

Zaeed: Well-wait did you come here to steal my rifle?

Kasumi: I have no clue what your talking about Zaeed.

Zaeed: You took Jessie!

Kasumi: I swear to god I didn't touch your damn rifle.

Jack: She's right. I took it.

Zaeed: Bloody hell! Give it back.

Jack: Why?

Zaeed: 'Cause I said so.

EDI: Sheaprd says to give Mr.Massani his rifle back, Ms.Zero.

Jack: Damn you Shepard! (gives Zaeed the gun)

Zaeed: Jessie!

Kasumi: (facepalm) Wow, this is...awkward.

Jack: Tell me about it.

(the 2 women leave)

[Sandbox47]

Thane: You do not like assasins?

Jacob: No. And I've made this point before, I don't trust you.

T: And yet you have no issues with Jack... or Grunt on the team, though if any of us are unstable, those are.

J: A krogan legacy and a biotic master? Anyhow, there's no point discussing, Shepard overrulled.

T: True, but I do not wish for you to harbour resentment.

J: Wait a minute... are you trying to get me into bed? With you? Sex?

T: Your mind jumped to that conclusion rather quickly.

J: Never mind! Oh look, a doily!

________________________________________________________________________________



Kasumi: So you are really old, right?

Samara: By human standards, yes.

K: How old are you, exactly?

S: I am nine hundred and twenty four years old.

K: O_o That is very old. On earth, we were still farmers and greedy kings when you were born, you know that?

S: Yes.

K: So you are an ancient relic of time! With memories predating any modern tech on Earth!

S: Ah... yes.

K: And you can remember most of your life?

S: *angry scowl* I do not wish to discuss how senile I have become or how useless you think me to be.

K: o_O What did I say?

_________________________________________________________________________________



Jack: Hey, Shepard.

Shepard: Jack?

J: I've been thinking. What if, when we kill the Reapers, we find out that they are the good ones.

S: I don't understand.

J: Well, we kill them because we think that we are the good ones. But we can't know for sure.

S: That's deep, Jack. What brought this on?

J: Answer the damn question!

S: They wish to destroy all civilized life in the galaxy for no apparent reason. Good or not, we are perfectly justified in defending ourselves.

J: Good.

S: What brought this on?

J: Fish guy told me that we go to a God who sees people in some f****d up way. I thought that, if he's right, cus' you never know, I'd better have an alibi.

_________________________________________________________________________________

[Sidac]

phreakscp wrote...

Kelly Chambers: Commander, you've received a new message at your private terminal.

Shepard: I just read all my messages.  Didn't you see me standing on the other side of the Galaxy Map?

KC: Yes I did.  Maybe the e-mail system has a few bugs in it.

EDI: Microsoft doesn't make it easy for me to fix bugs in their software.  At least TIM had the foresight to install me on top of Linux.

[Assasin4Hire]

(After Jacobs loyalty mission, Kasumi and Thane are comforting JAcob in the Armory)
Jacob:....Just knowing I was related to him by a few strands of DNA, I'm surprised I didn't the gun to my head too

Thane: Watching one's own blood die is like watching a piece of yourself die with them

Kasumi: Everything is going to be all right Jacob

Jacob: *Sighs* anything in that religion of yours tell you what happens to people who commit suiced?

Thane: When one voluntarily gives themselves to the deep they are forced to wathc from above while the good souls flourish with Amankra. Exscuse me, I promised I would Mordin in his lab to do some tests for my Kepral Syndrome

(Thane leaves. Jack enters carrying a busted pistol. She pauses when she sees Kasumi and Jacob)

Jack: What is this? somesort of sewing circle?

Kasumi: Jacob just watched his father kill himself

Jack: That's it? and I thought Shepard was the p***y when we met

Kasumi: Don't talk to Jacob that way!

Jack: What are you? his little pet? get the f**k out of here before I flatten you into a japenese pancake

(Kasumi looks at Jacob before leaving. Jack watches her go then starts repairing her pistol)

Jack: So did you make him do it or was he just so disapointed with you that he just couldn't take life anymore?

Jacob: What do you care? you've killed so many people that your desensitized to it!

Jack: Yeah, but I wouldn't turn into an automatic wimp after killing one of my parents

Jacob: I didn't kill him!

Jack: You might as well have the way Shepard tells me you gave him the pistol and "suggested" him to do it. That's murder in my book

Jacob: What do you know about family? you had no family! What if one of the dozens of people you killed was actually your mom or your dad? What if you killed them without out even knowing?

(Jack glares at Jacob a long time)

Jack:Maybe I did know....

(Jack exits, leaving her pistol half repaired)

[CROAT_56]

that makes me see Jacob with tears in his eyes kinda sad really feal for the guy

[Sandbox47]

Do more Tali ones! I can't think of anything brilliant at the moment.

[Cra5y Pineapple]

iakus wrote...

Zaeed:  So tell me something Tali.

Tali:  Tell you what?

Zaeed:  What do you quarians look like under those bloody masks?

Tali:  Is there a reason you want to know this?

Zaeed:  Because I've been all over the known galaxy, seen just about every bloody spacefaring race.  Plus a few that aren't.  Killed folk from most of them too.  But I've never seen a quarian's face.  So what do you look like?

Tali:  Would it make you happy to know that we are beings of luminous, ethereal beauty?  That nonquarians that see us without our helmets are captivated by our beauty and are forever changed by the experience?

Zaeed:  Is that so?

Tali:  It is if you wish to believe that.

Zaeed:  You're not going to tell me, are you?

Tali:  No, I'm not

Zaeed:  Bloody hell.

Epic win. And yet I'm reminded of something...

[MaaZeus]

Sandbox47 wrote...


Garrus: Why Tali? Human's aren't supposed to be attracted to other species.
Shepard: Most humans are other species.
G: ???
S: Humans are very different from each other. I have more in common with an elcor than a fellow human.
G: I see.
S: Good.
G: I'll tell Tali that you feel this way.
S: O_o What do you mean?
G: Well she doesn't know that you think she's an elcor.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Garrus: Why Thane? Human's aren't supposed to be attracted to other species.
Shepard: Because he is quiet and strong. Calm and kind. I feel that sleeping with him is easy.
G: I see.
S: Good.
G: I'll tell Thane that you feel this way.
S: o_O What do you mean?
G: Well, he should know that you think he's boring and makes you fall asleep.

_______________________________________________________________________________

These two are so full of win that my stomach is still hurting from laughter. And for some reason I can even see Garrus saying all this just for kicks.

[Sandbox47]

Tali: Commander, I've just noticed that the engine-... O_o

Shepard: *quickly closes the omni tool* Yeah?

Tali: I... The engine... What were you doing?

Shepard: Nothing much. Just... calibrating.

Tali: Was that a picture of Garrus?

Shepard: No. It was... a cat.

Tali: Without fur?

Shepard: And tail, yes. It's a rare... Bulldog.. cat.

Tali: Anyway, I came to tell you that there is a piece of armour flying about in the engine.

Shepard: *facepalm* Uh, that's weird.

Tali: *walks away, shaking her head*

Shepard: *towards the bathroom* Did you hear that?

Garrus: Yes. I can't remember doing it in the engine room though.

Shepard: *grins* I'll have someone pick it up for you.

________________________________________________________________________________



Shepard: Why Jacob?

Kasumi: What?

Shepard: You're clearly besoted by him. Why's that?

Kasumi: *grins and looks away* He is... respectable. And has a nice posture. And speaks politely.

Shepard: Wait. Which Jacob are we talking about?

Kasumi: The hottie Jacob. Why? You don't agree?

Shepard: No, no. I just... Politely? Posture? Really?

Kasumi: Oh, I see the problem. You are against it because he's a human like me, right?

Shepard: O_o No. I'm just-...

Kasumi: Just because you have an alien fetish, doesn't mean that I have to dislike real men!

Shepard: I wasn't-....

Kasumi: I'm not an asari, you know! I like Jacob! And I want to sleep with him!

*the mess goes quiet*

Kasumi: Ah... figuratively... NO! I mean litteraly.. Ah, never mind.

________________________________________________________________________________

[Sandbox47]

Jack: Ah... Thane?

Thane: Jack?

Jack: Remember the thing I showed you?

Thane: Yes. I enjoyed it imensly.

Jack: You did?

Thane: *nods*

Jack: Could you take a look at this? *hold out a paper*

Thane: Of course. There's no need to be ashamed of it, you know.

*Shepard enters the mess*

Shepard: Ashamed of what?

Jack: **** you, I'm not ashamed! I like killing! What's wrong with this fish guy? *storms out of the mess*

Shepard: She's giving you trouble?

Thane: O_O I... can't really tell with her.

[Sandbox47]

Tali: Why? Why is it always me and Garrus? Can't you have someone else risk their lives for once?

Shepard: There's no one else whom I trust like I trust you.

Garrus: What if we turned on her, Tali? Think she'd stop trusting us?

Tali: Hmm... maybe.

Shepard: And also...

*Garrus and Tali pay close attention*

Shepard: ... because this way you won't get a chance to tell the rest of the guys that embarrasing story about what I did on the old Normandy.

Garrus: You're paraniod. I can't even remember it clearly.

Tali: Because you got so drunk, yes. And we would never, ever, tell them.

*Shepard thinks for a moment*

Shepard: Alright, Samara, Legion, suit up.

*the shuttle flies away. Garrus and Tali exchange a look*

Tali: She's going to be sooo mad at us when she gets back.

Garrus: It will be worth it.

________________________________________________________________________________



Liara: You did exactly what I thought you'd do.

Shepard: Concerning?

Liara: You destroyed the Reaper. And blew up the Collector base.

Shepard: Of course. I couldn't let Cerberus dominate the Council through technological superiority.

Liara: But if they helped to stop the Reapers, would it not have been worth it?

Shepard: We can stop the Reapers. Without Cerberus.

Liara: But think of Akuze. Think of Thorian Kreepers. Cerberus has been able to create devastation without even lifting a finger. Think of the damage they could do with a Reaper against the Reapers.

Shepard: I know all this. I've had guilt trips ever since. And why are you taking their side?

Liara: I'm not. But you destroyed the last living descendants of the Protheans. Ones that the Reapers had preserved to obey them.

Shepard: And that is bad?

Liara: I don't know. But there is something to be said for genocide.

Shepard: ???

Liara: You did what the Reapers refused to. And you did it with Cerberus help.

Shepard: Ugh... this is going in circles.