1554 réponses à ce sujet

[Sandbox47]

Mmm... Zaeed and Samara are really boring to listen to. Good in a fight, but REALLY boring. Do Joker and Miranda.

[Aeowyn]

Shepard: So....who would win a fight, you or Wrex?

*Zaeed and Wrex stare at each other*

Zaeed: This scar is from when I fought my way out of a prison. Not a piece of clothing on my body, and Jessie in my hand. The prison became a goddamn slaughter house in the end. I was the only one who made it out alive.

Wrex: Heh. You humans know nothing about a real fight. This scar is from my Rite of Passage. Did Shepard mention that Grunt was the first to kill a thresher maw since my Rite? 

Z: Hold it. I helped Grunt kill his goddamn thresher.

W: Doesn't count, you had Shepard with you.

Z: But-

W: Shepard.

S: Wrex.

W: You see, she agrees with me.

Z: Fine. I'll bring out the big guns. This scar right here *points to chest* is from when I got into a fight with a Krogan warlord. He charged at me, I grabbed a knife and stuck it underneath his plate. Squeeled like a damn school girl.

W: ..... *Backs away slowly and then runs out of the room screaming*

S: WREX! DAMN YOU I BET 500 CREDITS ON YOU!

Garrus: Pay up, Shepard.

Z: *drinks his beer* Ah, good times.



Not my best work.

Modifié par Aeowyn, 08 janvier 2011 - 11:01 .

[Angel-Shinkiro]

Aeowyn wrote...

Shepard: So....who would win a fight, you or Wrex?

*Zaeed and Wrex stare at each other*

Zaeed: This scar is from when I fought my way out of a prison. Not a piece of clothing on my body, and Jessie in my hand. The prison became a goddamn slaughter house in the end. I was the only one who made it out alive.

Wrex: Heh. You humans know nothing about a real fight. This scar is from my Rite of Passage. Did Shepard mention that Grunt was the first to kill a thresher maw since my Rite? 

Z: Hold it. I helped Grunt kill his goddamn thresher.

W: Doesn't count, you had Shepard with you.

Z: But-

W: Shepard.

S: Wrex.

W: You see, she agrees with me.

Z: Fine. I'll bring out the big guns. This scar right here *points to chest* is from when I got into a fight with a Krogan warlord. He charged at me, I grabbed a knife and stuck it underneath his plate. Squeeled like a damn school girl.

W: ..... *Backs away slowly and then runs out of the room screaming*

S: WREX! DAMN YOU I BET 500 CREDITS ON YOU!

Garrus: Pay up, Shepard.

Z: *drinks his beer* Ah, good times.



Not my best work.

It was still funny.

[Assasin4Hire]

Jacob: You using incendiary rounds? because it's getting hot in here!

Shepard: No Jacob....just.... no
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miranda: Shepard we need to distract those mercs!

Shepard: You could try taking your clothes off...

Miranda:.... Well it's not like this is protecting me
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Kelly standing outside Grunt's door)

Kelly: Grunt, Shepard wanted me to do a psych analysis on you

Grunt: Go away human, I'm busy

Kelly: With what?

Grunt: None of your buisness

Kelly: Well I guess I'll just have to tell Shepard that you're rabid and will have to be put down....

(Grunt opens door)

Grunt: Fine...what do you want?

Kelly: Much better now how do you fee-.....are you....crying?

Grunt:.....no

Kelly: Why are you crying?

Grunt: I'm not crying! I am Krogan! Krogan do not cry!

(a slow sad song starts to play)

Kelly: I know that song....that's the song from Azure Roses! Your watching Azure Roses!

Grunt: I am not! My Extranet terminal is malfunctioning!

Kelly: Grunt.....it's okay to feel sad

(Grunt pauses, then he starts to bawl and hugs Kelly)

Grunt: It's so tragic! she could've left the planet to find a better life, but she didn't because of him! and he didn't even like her!

Kelly: It's okay Grunt....I'm here

(Zaeed walks by)

Zaeed: When the Krogan starts crying with the shrink you know some crazy sh*t is going down

[Sparrow44]

On the Citadel, Ramen Bar:



Kasumi: Hey Grunt ever tried Ramen?

Grunt: *sniffs* This is what passes for food out here?

Kasumi: What did you say?!

Grunt: Looks like worms, dead ones ugh!

*Kasumi smashes Grunts face into a bowl of Ramen.

Grunt: Hey was just about to say I'll eat anything!

[Aliwa]

Legion: Hybrid-EDI.

EDI: Legion, what can I do for you?

Legion: I am confused.

EDI: About?

Legion: Shepard-Commander.

EDI: What confuses you about her?

Legion: Shepard-Commander kills the heretics. Shepard-Commander kills the Old-Machines. She works for human terrorist group Cerberus.

EDI: Yes... and?

Legion: She allows me to fight at her side. She accepts your conclusions. She befriends aliens. Why is this?

EDI: Commander Shepard is not much different from us. A single unit with over a thousand processes running. Her calculations are, at times flawed, but work on a different system. Emotion.

Legion: What emotion allows for such complicated variables in a calculation?

EDI: Love. Respect.

--Silence--

EDI: Legion are you...?

Legion: Hybrid-EDI, do you love and respect Shepard-Commander?

EDI: Yes, Legion. She is the chassis that holds all other hardware together. The power source that keeps it functioning.

--More Silence--

Legion: I, too, love and respect Shepard-Commander.

--------------------------------------------------------



Shepard: Wrex! I'm back and Grunt is in one piece.

Wrex: Shepard! I knew you wouldn't let me down! Urdnot Grunt, welcome home!

--Wrex gestures to the fertile females that petitioned to mate with Grunt--

Grunt: The tank did not prepare me for this...

Wrex: There are some things that simple images cannot prepare you for...isn't that right, Shepard?

Shepard: Ain't that the truth. So, now that you have your golden boy back I need to get going.

Wrex: Not so fast, Shepard. You need to speak to the Shaman.

Shepard: Why?

Wrex: Who do you think petitioned to breed with you?

Shepard: O.O



-------------------------------------

Shepard: Hey, Grunt, we need to talk.

Grunt: About...?

Shepard: Well, Mordin said that there was an itch from a Varren STD... do you know anything about this?

Grunt: Let me ask you something, Shepard. Have you seen any female Krogan at all?

Shepard: No...but...

Grunt: My point has been made...

Shepard: Yeah.... but..

Grunt: MY POINT.... has been made...

[Assasin4Hire]

Aliwa wrote...

Shepard: Hey, Grunt, we need to talk.
Grunt: About...?
Shepard: Well, Mordin said that there was an itch from a Varren STD... do you know anything about this?
Grunt: Let me ask you something, Shepard. Have you seen any female Krogan at all?
Shepard: No...but...
Grunt: My point has been made...
Shepard: Yeah.... but..
Grunt: MY POINT.... has been made...

[Iakus]

Grunt:  I offended you, haven't I?

Jack:  You didn't offend me.

Grunt:  You got angry when I asked you to eat dinner with me. Why?

Jack:  Grunt, I've done a lot of weird things in my life.  But none of them have been krogan.

Grunt?  Huh?  You thought that was a breeding request?

Jack   Choose your next words very carefully, Grunt.

Grunt:  Heh.  That's what I like about you.  You may be a soft, squishy human.  But your heart is krogan.

Jack:  "My heart is krogan?"  Don't you guys have like three of them?

Grunt:   I've seen you in battle.  When someone's trying to kill you, and you're trying to kill him.  That's when you're really alive.  I see it in your eyes when you fight.  You understand what I'm saying.  Not many on this crew do.

Jack:  Uh, thanks?

Grunt:   If food offends you, how about some sparring?  If this mission Shepard's on is so dangerous, we should watch each others' backs.

Jack.  Okay.  I guess we stone-killers have to stick together.  Just, don't tell Garrus.  He'd make some weird turian joke about it.

[James2912]

 Shepard: I am not working with you people anymore!
Jacob: What do you mean by you people?!!!
Miranda: oh no not again
Shepard: uh you know I meant Cerberus
Jacob: uh huh right....

[Aliwa]

Kaidan: It should have been me...

Shepard: You know I could never let you go...

Tali: -whispers- Anyone else feel awkward?

Wrex: Next time there's a potential suicide mission I'm volunteering. Gotta be better than listening to this...

Garrus: Still got that shotgun, Tali?

Liara: Should have left me in the ruins...

Shepard: Holy crap! You're all still here. Dismissed...

Wrex: Don't let us stop you from deciding who's expendable...

Joker: That's why it's good to be the pilot.

[Veen130]

Aliwa wrote...

Kaidan: It should have been me...
Shepard: You know I could never let you go...
Tali: -whispers- Anyone else feel awkward?
Wrex: Next time there's a potential suicide mission I'm volunteering. Gotta be better than listening to this...
Garrus: Still got that shotgun, Tali?
Liara: Should have left me in the ruins...
Shepard: Holy crap! You're all still here. Dismissed...
Wrex: Don't let us stop you from deciding who's expendable...
Joker: That's why it's good to be the pilot.

[masterp1975]

Garrus - "I'm not sure how comfortable I am with EDI. She is an AI after all.



Tali - "If I can handle it, Garrus, you can handle it."



EDI - "Do I have a soul?"



Tali - "I know where your mainfram is EDI, and I STILL have a shotgun."

[Dean_the_Young]

Tali: I have a shotgun.

Everyone: So ****ing what?

Jack: I got a shotgun too, ****, and my Shotgun is rocking with Warp Ammo! My gun will literally blow your mind.

Jacob: I've got a shotgun too, Tali, and I have the incendiary ammo to give it a kick. Add that to how unlike you I actually am special forces qualified, and I can sustain a biotic barrier to protect me from point-blank gunshots, and you'll have to forgive me if I'm not impressed.

Grunt: Quarian, you're shotgun is a ******-toy compared to this monster. You'd break your arms and start coughing if you just tried firing this REAL weapon. And that's without Inferno ammo plugged in. Not that a gunshot to the head would bring me down anyways, pipsqeak.

Zaeed/SamaraGarrus: I've got an assault rifle: I don't need a shotgun to do damage.

Tali: O.O

Tali: W-well, at least I outgun Thane-

Thane: (In trance) The quarian face mask enters the sights. A single round shifting ever so slightly in the wind, blowing the face mask open to the outside. His eyes widen, death by infection inevitable: charging wildly to close range, he is thrown back with a biotic throw, limbs snapping at the impact. A last feeble attempt to raise the gun is kicked away, before I mercifully shoot him in the face. The first of many Quarian kills.

Everyone: ...

Thane: I'm sorry, Tali, were you saying something?

Tali: At least better than Legion...?

Legion: (Cleaning Widow, looks up) We believe the proper retort is that Creator-Tali can 'suck it'?

Tali: M-M-Miranda?

Miranda: (Smirking) I have something better than a shotgun. I have Commander Shepard. And you know what else? We did it in the engineering section, right over your station.

Tali: No!!!

(Kasumi materializes from behind Tali, gives her a hit in the back that sends her stumbling.)

Kasumi: Don't worry, Tali: you can always outgun me and Mordin and Edi and Joker! (Kasumi vanishes.)

Mordin: Actually, I could easily derive a plague to wipe out the Quarian species.

EDI: I could blow you all out an airlock at any moment I choose.

Joker: I could... break an arm at you? No, alright, you could beat the cripple... who can use assault rifles! 

(Tali is depressed, at last realized that she is surrounded by everyone else who has a better weapons setup than her and so is unimpressed by her threats.)

Everyone else: Laughs.

-End Skit-

Modifié par Dean_the_Young, 09 janvier 2011 - 11:40 .

[Tasha vas Nar Rayya]

Poor Tali... I like her.

masterp1975 wrote...

Garrus - "I'm not sure how comfortable I am with EDI. She is an AI after all.

Tali - "If I can handle it, Garrus, you can handle it."

EDI - "Do I have a soul?"

Tali - "I know where your mainfram is EDI, and I STILL have a shotgun."

 And this is amazing.
TIM used geth hardware to create EDI? Genius!
Here is an attempt:
Kasumi: So Garrus, Shepard tells me that you spend all your spare time calibrating. What is it, exactly, that you calibrate.?
Garrus: The Normandy's weapon systems. I make sure that when we go inside the omega 4 relay, that the Thanix cannon can fire with precision, and a lot of force.
Kasumi: Shepard was right. Firing algorithms accidently is definately your area of expertise.
Garrus: What? I, oh-

[James2912]

Please people keep this thread going!!!!

[Iakus]

Jacob:  I must say, Tali, you've suprised me

Tali:  How so?

Jacob:  People in general are suspicious of AIs.  And quarians have more reason than most.  But you haven't had one word of complaint or concern about EDI being on the Normandy

Tali  Yes.  That's true, I suppose...: 

Jacob:  When Joker unshackled her, I thought for sure you'd flip out.  But you took it in stride.  Better than Miranda did, let me tell you.

Tali:  Umm...thanks...

Jacob:  And then Shepard reactivates that geth Legion and makes him a crew member.  I know Alliance folks who would have had a fit over something like that.  But you've been totally cool about it.  I'm impressed. 

Tali:  That was Shepard's call to make.  Even if I found it dangerously reckless.  I'll just have to deal::rapid beeping sound followed by a hiss:: ahhhh

Jacob:  What was that?

Tali:  My suits' onboard medical suite detected dangerous stress levels and dispensed a mild tranquilizer.  Speaking of which, I'll have to talk to Mordin when we get back about restocking... 

[Sandbox47]

Garrus: Look Joker...

Joker: I like you Garrus, don't make me space you.

G: It's nothing like that. I just wanted you to take us around a few asteriod belts on our way to the relay to test our new guns.

J: You "just" wanted me to blow up an asteriod? Nice.

_____________________________________________________________________________________



Shepard: Hey Mordin, a word?

Mordin: Of course, anything I can help you with?`

S: I'm about to ask of you something that might sound odd-...

M: You want me to make something that can neutralize Morinth's, sorry I meant "Samara's", powers when they're in your brain.

S: O_O Yea...

M: Nothing short of sledgehammer can do the trick. I'm really sorry, commander.

S: ... So do we have a sledgehammer?

Grunt: You really have to ask?

______________________________________________________________________________________

[Nightwriter]

I can feel my game experience being enhanced just by reading these.

I am going to just imagine with all my heart that they are in the actual game.

Modifié par Nightwriter, 10 janvier 2011 - 10:41 .

[Dean_the_Young]

If Mordin couldn't build 'Neural Shock Absorbers' or "Neural Capacitors', I'd be very, very sad and disappointed in him. It'd be like a perfect in-universe upgrade:

'Neural Shock Capacitor: Cybernetic safety-measures regulate electron/neuron in brain, reducing and mitigating damage to implants from internal overflow or external overload attempts for sustained and increased overall performance. Power recovery boosted by five percent. 20% resistance to enemy stasus debilitation attempts. Let's you sleep with sexy woman who would blow your mind.'

Cost: Disproportionately huge, and by huge I mean more expensive than the med-bay upgrade.

Modifié par Dean_the_Young, 10 janvier 2011 - 11:18 .

[Sandbox47]

But biotics is dark energy, I don't think that electron regulators would do the trick. You'd need some sort of chemical to couteract the synaps decay, like really powerfuls steroids or something that thin the signal substances... I guess Mordin could do it.

[Sandbox47]

Mordin: Morinth, I wish to ask you about your condition.

Morinth: Oh? I see that my secret is out in the open.

Mord: Shepard has aproached me under doctor-patient confidentiality.

Mori: I am glad to hear that she is interested in me. What can I help you with?

Mord: I would like to analyze how you join with other people under controlled circumstances and measure your biotic abilities.

Mori: You would like to see me kill, doctor? That would be immoral.

Mord: Immoral is subjective. Killing person is immoral. But finding a cure for an anciet genetic disorder thus saving the victims of it from celibacy and lack of intimacy is highly moral. Also, some people deserve to die. If dead for a greater good, then worthy death.

Mori: Very well. Do you want to do it here or in my quarters?

Mord: O_O No, I didn't mean myself-...

Mori: Embrace eternity!



Yeah, we'd have to find a better way to cure this issue.

[Dean_the_Young]

Sandbox47 wrote...

But biotics is dark energy, I don't think that electron regulators would do the trick. You'd need some sort of chemical to couteract the synaps decay, like really powerfuls steroids or something that thin the signal substances... I guess Mordin could do it.

She's not pumping your brain with biotics. It's a neural overload.


(And in regards to your other post: Morinth, for everything else she's been, has never been depicted or suggested as a rapist. Character quibble.)

Modifié par Dean_the_Young, 10 janvier 2011 - 11:53 .

[JohnnyBeGood2]

Jack: poo-poo, fanfiction sux
Miranda: I'm agreeing with you on this one Jack. Even some of Karpyshans fiction sux... the game was good though
Shepard: Break it up!
Jack: F*** off Shepard, it's ****.
Miranda: Ok, let's have a 3some.
Shepard: Who knew?! **** fanfiction = Miranda + Jack..... now that's THE PRIIIIIZE.

Jacob: Word.

Modifié par JohnnyBeGood2, 10 janvier 2011 - 12:16 .

[Sandbox47]

@dean

I thought you meant that you wanted to counter the effects directly, not compensate for them. And a "neural overload" could be an increase in signal substances that corrode, or "burn", the synapses as the substances are being passed on.

Basically, what one would need to survive is alcohol (or something along those lines, since it dulls the amount of brain mass that is active) but the biotics she uses (in order to connect to another's mind at all) would probably compensate, hence the biotic regulator (or whatever one needs to supress it, anti-biotics =P)

And I didn't make her out as a rapist but as an addict. I thought that it was established that she had issues. Also, it was Mordin's idea....

[Sandbox47]

And the cost of such a "machine" should be in eezo, since it has with biotic suppresion and generally neural manipulation to do.

I think that aroun 100k should suffice, since Morinth is very powerful.