Aller au contenu

Photo

Post your own inter party banter.


  • Veuillez vous connecter pour répondre
1554 réponses à ce sujet

#301
lovgreno

lovgreno
  • Members
  • 3 523 messages
Garrus: Hey Tali, doesn't this remind you...
Tali: Oh keelah, here comes one of your annoying memories of our old adventures with Shepard.
Garrus: Yeah, yeah, I know, you have a shotgun so I shouldn't mess with you.
Tali: Well actualy shooting is far from my strongest skill so I admit that isn't much of a threat.
Garrus: I suspect a "however" coming soon...
Tali: However, I have hacked everyones extranet connections.
Garrus: Everyones?! You don't mean you know about...?
Tali: Yes Garrus, I know about your frequent visits to "Humans gone wild".
Garrus: Oh. I see.
Tali: Don't worry Garrus, that one stays secret. I admit visiting that place too you know.
Garrus: Yeah... There is some good stuff there for sure... Say, do you have any nasty secrets about someone else we know?
Tali: I will keep those for myself for now. But I can tell you that there are many interesting things I found out about a certain man who wrongfully and arrogantly belives himself to be illusive that a certain broker operating in the shadows has paid me a lot for.
Garrus: You know TIMmys dirty secrets then? Too easy, Tali, that guy knows nothing about security.
Tali: Yeah, I suppose you are right. That self defeat in a tailored suit is so much his own worst enemy that it was like stealing candy from a baby.

Modifié par lovgreno, 10 janvier 2011 - 04:32 .


#302
DrunkenMonkey

DrunkenMonkey
  • Members
  • 710 messages
'on the shuttle leaving the normandy;

tali:so we turned everything off right?

shep; i left the microwave on

'all look out window at a exploding normandy'

Garrus; again shepard.....really?

Modifié par DrunkenMonkey, 10 janvier 2011 - 05:38 .


#303
Robhuzz

Robhuzz
  • Members
  • 4 976 messages
*While headed for the Omega 4 Relay*



Shepard:"Grunt, are you up for a little match?"

Grunt:"What did you have in mind?"

Shepard:"The one who kills the most collectors down there wins, loser pays for drinks the next time we're at the citadel"

Grunt:"Sounds fun"

Zaeed:"I'm in, that sounds like a hell lot of fun"

Garrus:"Can I join?"

Zaeed:"Sure, the more the merrier"

Shepard:"Jacob? You in?"

Jacob:"I dunno Shepard, don't you think you should be more serious about this?"

Zaeed:"Chill the hell out Jacob, we're just trying to have some fun!"

#304
Interactive Civilian

Interactive Civilian
  • Members
  • 713 messages
Heh... Scratch that last line from Zaeed and have Shepard say, "It's a heavy risk, Jacob. But the priiize..."

#305
Destroy Raiden_

Destroy Raiden_
  • Members
  • 3 408 messages
Grunt: Shepard, we defeated the reapers and saved the galaxy.



Shepard: That we did.



Grunt: Now that just makes you the strongest enemy alive.



Shepard:…I should go.

#306
Destroy Raiden_

Destroy Raiden_
  • Members
  • 3 408 messages

iakus wrote...

Mordin: Miranda, understand you were project lead for Lazarus Project
Miranda: That's right, I was.
Mordin: Facinating concept, restoration of necrotic tissue to full function. Revolutionary, even. How was it done?
Miranda: It's ...complicated...
Mordin. Have been stiudying regenerative properties of tissues for some time. Necessary for work with genophage. Anything to do with krogan, really. Tell me, how much viable tissue remained when you started work? Were organs regrown through regeneration or cloning? How were mental functions preserved and restored with fresh brain cells? Were memories preserved in storage unit? Biological equivalent of quantum blue box? How did you account for random personality alternations in transferring data? Was any cybernetic replacement or augmentation for his brain needed? Was any sort of nanotech necessaary or just cybernetic? And how did you account for the neurological to electronic interface de...


Shepard: ( looks at them) Guys, I'm standing right here....




^ Though I'd love to see this interaction in 3.

#307
Gojiroth

Gojiroth
  • Members
  • 23 messages

MarchWaltz wrote...

 [Femshep and Liara, romanced (cause lesbians are hot)]
[Liara is in the med bay, unconscious from a wound that might be fatal]

Garrus: She's going to be fine Shepard, Doctor Chakwas and Doctor Michel are the best in the business.

Shep: I know Garrus

Tali: I'm sure she has taken worse, Shepard. After all, she IS one of your squad, she won't go down easy.

Wrex: Heh, you got THAT right, especially with her biotics, we biotics are a force to be reckoned with.

Shep: She took a bullet that was meant for me

..............

Virmire Survivor: Lets go guys, we have to prep for the next mission. Commander, see you in 20. Give her my best when she wakes up.

[Everyone walks out except Shepard, sitting by Liara's bedside]

Shep:...Liara, I....I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. You......ever since we met, I know I wanted to share my life with you. *Shepard grabs her hand and moves closer*

Shep:..I never been in love, Liara. When I died-

*Shepard pauses from a moment*

Shep:..when I died, in space, all that I could think about was you, how I was leaving you. My last thought was about the night we expressed our love physically to each other before Ilos. I went peacefully.

Shep: I'm not going to let you die, Liara. You did not give up on me when I died, you, and only you, are the reason why I came back.

*Liara is unresponsive*

*Shep gets closer, grasping her hand tighter*

Shep: Damnit, Liara, I meant it I wanted to have children with you, after all this is over. I want to spend our lives together, having our little blue children run around. Dont give up on me.

Shep: I need you Liara..........I need you to recover, cause I can't make it on my own













I see what you did there! Anyways good job, the song really does fit their story arc pretty well (well, at least the first little bit and that) So far.

#308
Sandbox47

Sandbox47
  • Members
  • 614 messages
Oh yeah. The sound track. How could I have missed that?



Tali: My shotgun's better than yours.

Grunt: Like hell it is!

T: Try it.

G: *pulls trigger. nothing* What the hell?

T: I disabled it with powers from ME1.

G: I wasn't even born back then, no fair.

T: So who's shutgun is best?

G: *charges*

T: Chiktikka, now!

G: *stops as electricity hits him* God damn it!

T: I've got a drone. ________________________________________________________________________________



See? Tali wins.

#309
Dean_the_Young

Dean_the_Young
  • Members
  • 20 676 messages
And then Grunt charges, exploding scions and drones and quarian face masks alike.

#310
JohnnyBeGood2

JohnnyBeGood2
  • Members
  • 986 messages
Jack: poo-poo, fanfiction sux

Miranda: I'm agreeing with you on this one Jack. Even some of Karpyshans fiction sux... the game was good though

Shepard: Break it up!

Jack: F*** off Shepard, it's ****.

Miranda: Ok, let's have a 3some.

Shepard: Who knew?! **** fanfiction = Miranda + Jack..... now that's THE PRIIIIIZE.



Jacob: Word.

#311
lovgreno

lovgreno
  • Members
  • 3 523 messages

Dean_the_Young wrote...

And then Grunt charges, exploding scions and drones and quarian face masks alike.

Grunt bounces back.
Grunt: What the frag was that?
Tali: Fan popularity Grunt, it's best way to stay alive as a ME characer there is. And I got more of that than anyone else. Deal with it.
Grunt: Yeah well a small minority don't like you and won't keep you alive.
Tali: They are so few compared to my fans that I can easily ignore them.

#312
Dean_the_Young

Dean_the_Young
  • Members
  • 20 676 messages

lovgreno wrote...

Dean_the_Young wrote...

And then Grunt charges, exploding scions and drones and quarian face masks alike.

Grunt bounces back.
Grunt: What the frag was that?
Tali: Fan popularity Grunt, it's best way to stay alive as a ME characer there is. And I got more of that than anyone else. Deal with it.
Grunt: Yeah well a small minority don't like you and won't keep you alive.
Tali: They are so few compared to my fans that I can easily ignore them.

Tali is immortal, eh?



Shepard: Hey, Tali, I cheated on you for Jack.
Tali: What!?
Shepard: And Miranda. We did it right over your console too.
TalI: WHAT!?
Shepard: Oh yeah, and I turned over the evidence to the Quarian fleet right before we left. Everyone knows the truth about your father now.
Tali: :(
Tali: Shepard, how could you-
Shepard: And that something you have up your nasal cavity? Scale itch.
Tali: :crying:
(Suddenly, Tali knows a way out of this mess.)
Tali: I have a shotgun!
Shepard: I'm Commander ****ing Shepard. I eat shotgun blasts for breakfast.
Tali: Not for you, myself.
(Tali takes Shotgun, points it at herself, and pulls the trigger. A bang, and then nothing. Tali's fan-shield makes her invulnerable to death.)
Tali: Why! Why won't you let me die!?
Shepard: Yeah, immortality's a ****. Later, Tali: I'm off to screw the Shadow Broker.

#313
betd2

betd2
  • Members
  • 428 messages
Will people stop the stupid Tali-bashing. character bashing is never gonna convince anyone that liking that character is wrong. It just shows you to be an immature jackass. and god knows we have enough immature jackasses on the internet already.

Modifié par betd2, 11 janvier 2011 - 12:44 .


#314
Dean_the_Young

Dean_the_Young
  • Members
  • 20 676 messages
You think that is character bashing? That's just Shepard being a dick, and inverting a 'Tali can never fail due to fan appeal' joke that's been on these pages a lot, as well as a mocking of the fan-fixation on 'I have a shotgun' as an argument winner in every case.

Nothing bashing or demeaning to Tali at all. You really need to get exposed to more fandom, see what real character bashing is about.

Modifié par Dean_the_Young, 11 janvier 2011 - 01:08 .


#315
Sandbox47

Sandbox47
  • Members
  • 614 messages
Dean! That was crude. Image IPB I'd idolized you... Image IPB

And yeah, I'm a Talimancer, but that was Shepard being a dick, not Talibashing. Seriously, who has sex with Miranda? tut tut tut
__________________________________________________________________________________________

Tali: ...

Shepard: What's wrong?

T: We are off to fight a war that is beyond anything we can imagine.

S: I know.

T: I wish that I could say goodbye to my friends.

S: We could go there. Pay them a social visit.

T: Yes, while the galaxy is fighting for survival, we'll be drinking coffee with the relatives.

S: True, not one of my best plans.

Garrus: What plans? 

S: ... ??? My... plans.

G: Shepard, since I met you I haven't seen you make a single plan aside from "we go in, kill them and then justify it to ourselves in the debriefing".

S: Has it ever failed us?

G: No. But varie-....

S: Then it's a great plan. Now drop it, Tali is down.

G: So am I.

S: What's wrong?

G: I just wish that I could go home and say goodbye to my friends before the final battle.

T: Pfft. You don't have other friends... do you?

G: Correspondents.

S: Male?

G: Well, that's a matter of perspective.

T: Well, now I'm cheered up. Let's go and visit Garrus's "less than female" friend.

#316
Dean_the_Young

Dean_the_Young
  • Members
  • 20 676 messages

Sandbox47 wrote...

Dean! That was crude. Image IPB I'd idolized you... Image IPB

Is this to imply that you've stopped?

Yes, well, that's what you get for worshipping false gods and all that.

T: Well, now I'm cheered up. Let's go and visit Garrus's "less than female" friend.

And this was a great punchline.

#317
Dean_the_Young

Dean_the_Young
  • Members
  • 20 676 messages
/*In Shepard's Quarters*/

*The Doors Open*

Kelly Chambers: Commander?

Shepard: Chambers. Why are you here?

Kelly: I came to- Commander, have you been drinking?

Shepard: I have a table covered with beer bottles. I have a bottle of whiskey in my hand. I haven't kicked you out for entering without knocking: yes, I'd say I've been drinking.

Kelly: You're drunk.

Shepard: And you're attractive, but tommorrow I'll be sober. Sober enough not say say such things, at least.

Kelly: I don't think that was how the quote goes, Commander. Not unless my looks offend you in some way.

Shepard: And I don't care. Why are you here, Chambers?

Kelly: I came to talk to you about the mission on Tuchanka, Commander. Specifically about Mordin.

Shepard: And how is Mordin doing now? Is he regretting killing his student? Any guilt over destroying the genophage data?

Kelly: No sir. In fact, that's what I wanted to inform you about: Mordin appears to be very relieved now, and grateful to you. He should be focused on the mission completely.

Shepard: Lucky Salarian bastard.

Kelly: ...

Shepard: Thank you for bringing that to my attention. If that's all, Chambers, you can leave.

Kelly: A question, sir?

Shepard: What is it?

Kelly: Why are you drinking?

Shepard: And that's a question I'm not drunk enough to answer yet.

(Kelly reaches over, opens an opened bottle, offers him another beer.)

Kelly: And how about now?

(Shepard looks at her with glowing red eyes, takes the alcohol, and downs it.)

Shepard: Fine. Have it your way. Sit down.

(Kelly does.)

Shepard: If you really must know, I committed genocide again today and I don't know if it was the right thing to do.

Kelly: Genocide? I'm not sure I would-

Shepard: Well I would. If killing the Rachni Queen and her unborn children counts, I see no reason why millions of Krogan still-borne shouldn't be on my hands as well. They could have been born. They could have lived. Now they won't. Now they're just another stillborn fetus in a maternity ward. My choice. My call.

(Another swig.)

Kelly: And this bothers you, Commander?

Shepard: And why the hell shouldn't it!? You think this is a game to me, Kelly?

Kelly: I apologize, Commander. That isn't what I meant.

Shepard: Then what the hell did you mean?

Kelly: What I meant is that this isn't the first time you've done something that could be considered genocide. The Rachni. The Thorian. Geth beyond counting.

Shepard: And every single fertile woman I've killed. Don't give me that look: every time I've killed a woman, I've killed not only her but every generation of descendants she could have had. If that's not genocide, I don't know what is.

Kelly: By that same logic, Commander, the same applies to every male as well.

Shepard: ...

Kelly: If you want to engage in hypotheticals, Commander, you've also prevented genocides. Not just directly, but in allowing others to survive, and for their descendants to grow and prosper. As long as you've done more good than harm, haven't you come out ahead?

Shepard: Hmph. A bigger picture appeal, huh?

Kelly: That is how you view the world, isn't it? Necessary evils, greater goods? You let the Council die so as to focus every resource focus on Sovereign: ten thousand died on the Destiny Ascension alone, but who knows if Sovereign would have been taken down otherwise? You did stop Sovereign, and you did stop a far greater galactic genocide that outweighed the lost to the Council Fleet by magnitudes of magnitudes.

Kelly: What I'm trying to say, Shepard, is that hypotheticals are easy to get lost in. There are just too many.

Shepard: It wasn't the same today, Chambers.

Kelly: How so?

Shepard: Yes. I've committed genocide. And I intend to do it again. But I've always known it was for a reason. I'm going to genocide the Reapers, because they're out to kill us. And before that I'm going to take out every last Collector, because they're also aimed at killing us and because what they've been turned into doesn't deserve to be called alive anymore. They're threats to our future.

I killed the Thorian because it was a present threat. I killed the Rachni because they've never been anything but a threat to the galaxy. I killed every single Batarian on Torfan for everything they'd done and everything I knew they were going to try to do.

But I knew I had a reason. A need.

But down there, on Tuchanka? I didn't know if I had a reason, or if what I did was necessary.

Kelly: I think most of the galaxy would agree that there was good reason to do so, Commander. Even Mordin does. The Krogan Rebellions were devastating, and the galaxy is still recovering. Most people would agree what you did was necessary to restrain the Krogan.

Shepard: Was it? What do most people know? Most people don't know what I know. Most people don't see what I see.

Shepard: If this were five, ten years ago, I'd agree with you completely. If this were any other political situation, I'd have a clear answer. But now?

Shepard: Wrex is in charge. Wrex is reforming the Krogan. 'The Krogan' are not what they once were, and if Wrex succedes they'll be something else entirely. Not the boogeymen they were. And, damn me if I should have killed him on Virmire and saved me this trouble, but I trust Wrex. I believe he'll succede, even though I know he could yet fail. Curse me for being sentimental, but I hope he succedes.

Kelly: And you think this affects the question of the genophage cure?

Shepard: Of course it does. If Wrex succedes in this new Krogan, what's the purpose of the genophage: to protect the galaxy from a threat, or to keep another species down? When no Krogan alive was ever a part of the Rebellions, what is our justification for neutering guilty and innocent alike? Are we doing it because we need to, or because we're scared not to? If we're afraid of the Krogan, and now comes along of new Krogan we don't need to fear, what are we doing still implementing the genophage?

Kelly: And what if the the genophage cure broke the back of Wrex's reforms? Wouldn't it invalidate the basis of his unifying the Krogan under his clan?

Shepard: And what if it strengthened his hold on power, and his power base? The Clan that controls the cure to the genophage will be the banner every Krogan will gather around. Wrex would be able to use it as a tool to support his reforms.

Kelly: But you can't know that would happen. That someone else would seize it and do with it what they will.

Shepard: No, I can't know that. And so I destroyed the cure data, and doomed millions upon millions of still-born Krogan to placate my own fears of the future.

Shepard: Damn it, I need another drink. Pass me another, Chambers. If I have to be honest with myself, at least I can be an honest drunk. Then I won't notice as much when you play shink to me to do your job.

Kelly: My job isn't the only reason I'll listen, Shepard. And please, call me Kelly.

Shepard: Sure it isn't, Kelly.

Modifié par Dean_the_Young, 11 janvier 2011 - 03:32 .


#318
somecthemes

somecthemes
  • Members
  • 266 messages
My first attempt, hope it's not a epic fail.

Shepard: "Liara, I have something to admit, I was with Miranda while you were gone."
Liara: "What, why that cerberus sleaze?!"
S: "Have you seen that uniform? I'm only human."
L: "Like that means anything. That's like saying that, because I'm young and asari, I'll become some renegade pirate or terror of the galaxy." 
S: "...But.."
L: "Don't say a word."
S: "Also, about Tali...."
L: [PULL] "Nice knowing you Shepard." [THROW]    (+30 Renegade)

#319
Sandbox47

Sandbox47
  • Members
  • 614 messages
@Dean

Nah, I just think that you're really good at these kinds of things.

And I can't figue our if you aprove or mock me...

#320
MarchWaltz

MarchWaltz
  • Members
  • 3 232 messages

Gojiroth wrote...

MarchWaltz wrote...

 [Femshep and Liara, romanced (cause lesbians are hot)]
[Liara is in the med bay, unconscious from a wound that might be fatal]

Garrus: She's going to be fine Shepard, Doctor Chakwas and Doctor Michel are the best in the business.

Shep: I know Garrus

Tali: I'm sure she has taken worse, Shepard. After all, she IS one of your squad, she won't go down easy.

Wrex: Heh, you got THAT right, especially with her biotics, we biotics are a force to be reckoned with.

Shep: She took a bullet that was meant for me

..............

Virmire Survivor: Lets go guys, we have to prep for the next mission. Commander, see you in 20. Give her my best when she wakes up.

[Everyone walks out except Shepard, sitting by Liara's bedside]

Shep:...Liara, I....I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. You......ever since we met, I know I wanted to share my life with you. *Shepard grabs her hand and moves closer*

Shep:..I never been in love, Liara. When I died-

*Shepard pauses from a moment*

Shep:..when I died, in space, all that I could think about was you, how I was leaving you. My last thought was about the night we expressed our love physically to each other before Ilos. I went peacefully.

Shep: I'm not going to let you die, Liara. You did not give up on me when I died, you, and only you, are the reason why I came back.

*Liara is unresponsive*

*Shep gets closer, grasping her hand tighter*

Shep: Damnit, Liara, I meant it I wanted to have children with you, after all this is over. I want to spend our lives together, having our little blue children run around. Dont give up on me.

Shep: I need you Liara..........I need you to recover, cause I can't make it on my own













I see what you did there! Anyways good job, the song really does fit their story arc pretty well (well, at least the first little bit and that) So far.


I was hoping someone would catch it.

#321
hooahguy

hooahguy
  • Members
  • 546 messages
Pity that most of this stuff is merely fanfic, not party banter.


#322
Dean_the_Young

Dean_the_Young
  • Members
  • 20 676 messages

Sandbox47 wrote...

@Dean
Nah, I just think that you're really good at these kinds of things.

Why thank ye. Any particular one caught your fancy?

And I can't figue our if you aprove or mock me...

Now why can't I do both?

(Overall, I certainly approve of both your output and quality. When you go off the beat path with a variety of characters, you do your best.)

#323
Dean_the_Young

Dean_the_Young
  • Members
  • 20 676 messages

hooahguy wrote...

Pity that most of this stuff is merely fanfic, not party banter.

You saying you don't enjoy it?

#324
Iakus

Iakus
  • Members
  • 30 334 messages
Grunt: Why are you here?

Thane:  Excuse me?

Grunt:  Why are you here?  With Shepard and the rest of us.  You're pretty good in a fight.   But you're heart's not really in it.

Thane:  I am not here to kill people, Grunt.

Grunt:  Then I've got some bad news for you.  Shepard's enemies have been falling before our might for some time now.  If you're  not here to get in on the blood and glory, why bother being here at all?

Thane:  I am here to prevent even more death from happening.  Colonists are being taken by the Collectors.  I am here to help end that.  If doing so requires me to fight back against those who would do us harm, so be it.

Grunt:  So you're here, visiting death and slaughter on our enemies to ... stop death and slaughter?

Thane:  Precisely.

Grunt:  ::pause:;  No, seriously, why are you here?

#325
Pwner1323

Pwner1323
  • Members
  • 1 119 messages
[Confronting the Shadow Broker]

Liara: we have you sorrounded, give up while you can.

SB: Asari, you fumble in the da...

*TIM hogram pops up*

Shepard: This really ain't the time.

TIM: Shepard, after you kill the shadow broker, keep the base, it'll help Humanity conquer the gala... err.... stop the
         reapers!

Shepard: Again TIM? really?

SB: This is so unproffesional.

Liara: But shepard, I wanted to keep the base..... *does puppy dog eyes*

Shepard: Fine Liara, you can have it.

TIM: Should have used the mind control chip.

Miranda: Told ya so.

Modifié par Pwner1323, 11 janvier 2011 - 10:19 .