1554 réponses à ce sujet

[ADLegend21]

haha I'm loving the new additions to the thread! haha.



Shepard: I hope this dress looks good for my date night with Miranda.

Miranda *enters cabin* you look lovely dear.

Liara: I agree with her Shepard.

Shepard: Liara, stop spying on me from the Shadow broker base.

Liara: Sorry.

Shepard: thanks for the compliment though.

Liara: you're welcome.

[oOmpie]

In a fight:
Grunt: "I... am..."
Miranda: "useless!"
Grunt:

Later that fight
Grunt: "I.. am..."
Jack: "****ing useless!"
Grunt: <_<

All except Grunt:

[Sandbox47]

Tali: Go for the optics Chiktikka!

Thane: Amonkira, grant me forgiveness.

Garrus: I love this rifle!

Joker: Let's hand it to em' EDI!

Miranda: Go awesome boob-power!

The rest: O_O

Miranda: What? I want a battlecry...

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Shepard: Hey Jack?

Jack: Yeah?

S: "My dark soul, it can't be seen through mortal, bleeding eyes. Yet she can see it, the dark commander of this tainted sky"-

J: What the f**k, Shepard? Did you hack my computer?

S: No. Liara sent it to me.

J: F**k! I'll f*****g kill her!

S: Relax. She just thought that it was about me.

J: So f*****g what? She has no right to spy on me and tell people about my s**t!

S: You know, it's nothing to be ashamed off. You're just expressing yourself.

J: Yeah. And I usually preffer doing so at gunpoint. S**t, I don't know why I write this stuff.

S: You know, I don't mind reading them.

J: Yeah, Thane keeps saying that. And then he keeps suggesting of how I can "improve".

S: So, um... was it about me?

J: The f**k do you care?

S: Well... No one's writen poetry to me before.

J: *mutters: cant' f*****g believe it. *normal voice* Yes. It was.

S: Thanks.

J: But, Shepard?

S: Yeah?

J: ONE WORD! One word about this to anyone and I'll make the old Normandy look like state-of-the-art compared to what I'll do to this one.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Grunt: I am pure krogan!

Shepard: As opposed to what? Diluted?

G: As opposed to all these filthy, self-proclaimed krogan, littering Tuchanka!

Tali: Ah... You could have waited saying that until we were off Tuchanka.

Shepard: Oh look, there's a krogan charging. And there. And there. Grunt, I'll kill you. And there.

Garrus: Where's your shotgun now, Tali?

Tali: Shut up and run!
________________________________________________________________________________________

[Sandbox47]

*Jack's poem*

Cast out, alone

The razor blade gets stuck under my skin

Behind cold walls

Fighting a battle I can never win

Thought I was lost

Forgetting what I am and what I was

The rotten hearts

Pulsing a blood-rage no one dares to cross

My dark soul

It can't be seen through mortal, bleeding eyes

Yet she can see it

The dark commander of this tainted sky

Cast out, alone

The razor blade won't ever touch my skin

If she's your foe

No f*****g chance that you will ever win

[lovgreno]

ADLegend21 wrote...

haha I'm loving the new additions to the thread! haha.

Shepard: I hope this dress looks good for my date night with Miranda.
Miranda *enters cabin* you look lovely dear.
Liara: I agree with her Shepard.
Shepard: Liara, stop spying on me from the Shadow broker base.
Liara: Sorry.
Shepard: thanks for the compliment though.
Liara: you're welcome.

EDI: I am sorry Shepard, my inferior firewalls of obvious Cerberus design can not keep out superior Shadow Broker software.
Shepard: Yes yes yes EDI, I will buy you new salarian software, stop nagging me about it. And stop invading my privacy.
Joker giggles.
Shepard: Why am I not suprised that you are spying on me too?
Joker: EDI! Why did you turn on my microphone?!
EDI: I belive it was my duty to inform Shepard of your unsanctioned spying.
Shepard: Nice try EDI, but I'm still going reprogram all your sensors in my cabin with a big axe. Now get out everyone.

[Aeowyn]

Samara: I have seen the way you work Shepard. Let's hope we don't cross paths once this mission is over.
Shepard: Wait....what?
Samara: You have acted in ways that the Code goes against.
Shepard: Samara, as far as I'm aware I have not once shot and killed an innocent.
Samara: It does not matter. Your evil morale is higher than your good morale, therefore I will be forced to attack you once I am free from my oath to you.
Shepard: <_<

Modifié par Aeowyn, 12 janvier 2011 - 12:12 .

[ADLegend21]

Kasumi: so Samara, how'd Shepard take you shooting him down?

Samara: I don't know. I simply withheld my desires so htey would not take control of me.

Kasumi: it must have been hard on you to do that.

Samara: yes. he is a very charismatic man, he does things that help the galaxy in ways I wish I could. for one so young he's done half of my 400 years worth of work.

Kasumi: yeah he's pretty awesome and kind.

Samara: yes, oh how I wish I could throw him to the floor and ravage his body to my hearts content. but I fear that he would be in no shape to face the collectors.

Kasumi: you woudn't wait until after the fight?

Samara: after the fight, if we are both alive I must depart, but if I could I would do as I said.

Shepard: *listening at the door* </3 T^T

[ADLegend21]

Legion: Shepard-Commander we have somethign we wish to share.

Shepard: what is it Legion?

Legion: we were recently in communication with the Shadow Brokers network and after recieving a folder of files we've compiled this compilation of organic communiation and sound manipulation.

Shepard:...a song?

Legion: Yes. *Plays music*

We like big butts and we cannot lie

You other runtimes can't deny

When Shepard-commander walks in with an itty bitty waist

and a round thing in your face you get SPRUNG.

Shepard: DAMMIT LIARA! Stop tainting my Geth!

*at the Shadow Brokers base*

Liara: that was most enjoyable.

Feron: you're just as evil as the previous Shadow Broker.

[Sandbox47]

Shepard: You know, that's a nice outfit.

Thane: Thank you.

S: Why do we always go for stylish rather than safe?

T: I do not require a different attire, commander. Being an assassin emphasized agility, not brute force.

S: Then why not wear a ninja suit?

T: ... I don't like them.

S: Vain, are we, Thane?

_________________________________________________________________________________



Joker: Hey, you know Star-Trek commander?

Shepard: No. Why?

J: Well, there the commander sits on a throne-like thing and tells the pilot where to go.

S: So?

J: Well I think that you have elevated that bit too much.

S: What? Which?

J: Well, instead of telling me where to go, you tell the computer to suggest to me where to go. Before you know it I'll have to start reading infrared signals to figure out where the hell you need me.

[PauseforEffect]

*Events on Horizon*
Delan: ...So the Alliance gave us a big gun that can't shoot straight!
EDI: Errors in calibration of the Gardian laser cannons can be easily rectif-
Shepard: *snort* mwhahaha!
Garrus: Commander, something wrong?
Shepard: Looks like all that time you spent in the Normandy's main battery is about to pay off! Calibrating problem, riiigght.

[ADLegend21]

Kasumi and Jacob get together before the Omega-4 relay

Kasumi:My god Jacob...what was fantastic...

Jacob: You were incredible yourself. I did't know you had those tricks up your hood.

Kasumi: I have to be flexible to be good. Can I ask you something Jay?

Jacob: sure.

Kasumi: Better than Lawson?

Jacob: hell yeah.

Kasumi: yes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*in the AI Core*

Kelly: so Legion, you wish to work with us to defeat the colelctors.

Legion: yes we wish to work with Shepard-commander to defeat the Old Machines.

Kelly: it says here you wished to study Organic life to help the Geth understand it better?

Legion: Yes.

Kelly: well I'd be happy to help you, what do you wish to know.

Legion: reaching concensus.......we wish ot understand the fascination with mating.

Kelly: O_O...........



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Ashley gets a tour of the New normandy*

Kasumi:Oh you must be Ashley.

Ashley: yeah that's me, and you are...?

Kasumi: Kasumi Goto. So you and Shep...?

Ashley: yeah She and I were together...why?

Kasumi: Just asking, it's nice that you can make her happy, she talks about you all the time.

Ashley: yeah, what does she say?

Kasumi: that you're a hellcat on the battlefield and between the sheets.

Ashley: *blushes* she..she said what now? *goes off to find Shepard*

[Sandbox47]

Mordin: Shepard.

Shepard: Mordin?

M: How exactly are you planning to defeat the Reapers? Giant, sentient machines that survive dark space, with unsurpassed shields and weaponry. Technology centuries ahead of ours. Also, very big.

S: *facepalm* Look, Garrus has already asked this. I'll tell you what I told him. We have a secret weapon.

M: We do? What kind? Radiation, perhaps? No, too dangerous to carry on the Normandy. Laser technology that we salvaged in secret from the Collector base? No, conssumes too much power. Shields like those of Rea-...

S: No, nothing like that.

M: Then what is it?

S: I'm not telling.

M: ... How did Garrus take this response?

S: He saw right through me.

M: He knows the secret?

S: He knows I'm lying.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Shepard: *watches the space hamster intently*

EDI: Shepard, what are you doing?

S: I am checking to see how good a psychoanalysist Kelly really is.

EDI: I have detected traces of coffeine in the hamster's bloodstream.

S: Yeah. I gave him two cups.

EDI: To what end?

S: Well, Kelly said that Mordin was like a hamster on coffee. I now know that she was wrong. The hamster's already tired.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Shepard: EDI.

EDI: Commader?

Shepard: How do I keep the damn fish alive?

EDI: Feed them according to schedule, do not allow sharks within a five mile radius, no gamma radiation, no poison and no heavy metals into the water. That should do the trick.

Shepard: But I have been doing that! They keep dying every day!

EDI: How often to you replace them?

Shepard: I don't. They keep dying, why would I want more of them?

EDI: How many people aside from you have died and come back to life to die again?

Shepard: O_o *counts in her head* Three?

EDI: None. The fish are asleep, commander.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Modifié par Sandbox47, 13 janvier 2011 - 01:57 .

[Sandbox47]

*Shepards lullaby, composition 1*
*All the fish are asleep
EDI makes sure that they eat
And the hamster's in his bed
Too much coffee makes him sad
Reapers do not think it's fun
When I kill them with a gun
Also, Garrus scowls at me
He does not like my poetry*

Modifié par Sandbox47, 13 janvier 2011 - 02:19 .

[Dean_the_Young]

Garrus: So, Grunt, now that you have a clan, how do you feel about aliens now?



Grunt: Depends on the aliens. Now I have some to hate. Like Salarians, and Turians. Not you and Mordin, though: you two are part of Shepard's clan.



Garrus: That's... reassuring, I suppose. Any aliens you like?



Grunt: Like? No. But Humans show promise.



Garrus: Shepard's made an impression on you, huh?



Grunt: Not just Shepard, though Shepard is without match. No, even others like Jack, and even Jacob, they get it.



Garrus: Jack? And Jacob? How so?



Grunt: They know strength. They know in their blood to get in close, to destroy and rend and endure your opponent. Jack, Jack's a fighter. She'll kill anything and anyone to survive. And Jacob? He might be a cloaka, but in a fight he knows to get in close, to endure what the enemy throws at you and then shoot them in the face with a shotgun. That's strength right there.



Garrus: They are biotics. Not every human is.



Grunt: More should be. But you don't just need biotics: Zaeed, he's a warlord, and nothing else. Even despite his handicap. But human biotics: they have promise. They can learn, and they can match a krogan on their own. See over there?



Garrus: There- ****, Shepard! Krogan charging!



Shepard: Vanguard charge!



(The charging Krogan is knocked clear out of the battle.)



Grunt: Humans know how to charge into a fight, and not just to run away like that dead Asari spectre. Coward.

[Telemachus78]

After Normandy locked by Udina
Tali: You know on the flotilla this never would have happened.
Shepard: Shut up Tali

After the siege on the Citadel
Tali: Hey Ashley what happened that night before Ilos
Ash: Shut up Tali
  
After the recruitment of Garrus:
Tali: Hey Garrus long time no... wow what happened to your face!?
Garrus: Shut up Tali

[General User]

Scene.  Interior, Shepard’s Cabin, Normandy SR-2. Enter Shepard and Gianna Parasini.
 
Gianna Parasini:    Quite the ship you’ve got here Shepard. Quite the crew too.
 
Daniel Shepard:     We should have done this a long time ago Gianna. I take it you enjoyed the tour.
 
GP:  On the whole yes, and seeing you again was certainly nice. But maybe you could answer one little question for me?
 
DS:   Sure, what’s that?
 
GP:  Why is it that whenever we walk around the ship together, half the women onboard stare at me like they’re trying to kill me with their eyes?
 
DS:         …
 
GP:    Normally I wouldn’t mind so much. It’s just that a lot of these women actually CAN kill people with their eyes. So…
 
DS:    umm… Don’t worry about it. I’m sure they wouldn’t… well, there’s Jack… umm… I’ll have Legion escort you.
 
GP:  A geth. Great.
 
DS (to intercom):  Legion, its Shepard.  Could you come up to my cabin for a moment?
 
Legion:  Enroute.
 


(thirty seconds later)
 
Legion:  Shepard-Commander, Parasini-Gianna.
 
DS:   Legion. We’re a little concerned about how some of the crew is reacting to Gianna’s visit. I’d like you too just watch her back and escort her to her shuttle.
 
Legion:   Affirmative. Standing by to assist in protective detail.
 


(Later, as Legion and Gianna enter the elevator)
 
GP:   It feels weird saying this to a geth, but here goes. Thanks for watching my back.
 
Legion:   If Parasini-Gianna truly wishes to express gratitude, we have prepared a suggestion.
 
GP:   What’s that?
 
Legion:   Stay the hell away from our man, you floozy!

Modifié par General User, 13 janvier 2011 - 04:53 .

[Dean_the_Young]

General User?



You.



Are.



Awesome.



(In case you didn't know.)

[General User]

Dean?



Praise from you is high praise indeed.



Cheers.

[Dean_the_Young]

I'm a firm believer that praise should be deserved, and hey, that deserved it. Legion's punch-line caught me completely by surprise.





You know what would be interesting? Putting Shiala on the Normandy 2. (I think I might have preferred her as a companion, truth be told.)

[General User]

Scene. Exterior.  Illium Stock Exchange near the transport hub. Daniel Shepard, Jacob Taylor, Kasumi Goto.
 
Jacob Taylor: Dude.
 
Daniel Shepard: What’s that, Jacob?
 
JT: I said ‘Dude’, Commander. As in ‘Dude, what the f*ck!?!’
 
DS: Okay… something I should know about?
 
JT: Let me ask you sir, how many times have you been to Illium?
 
DS: This is my first. Why do you ask?
 
JT: That’s what I thought, sir. So we make port on a planet you’ve never been to, and a grand total of, what is it?  Fifteen minutes later? We run into four separate women who want to sleep with you. So I say: ‘Dude.’
 
DS: C’mon Jacob. I think Matriarch Atheyta was just ki…
 
JT: Four women, Shepard?
 
DS: Well, we all knew Liara wa…
 
JT: Four women!
 
DS: It’s just a coincidence that Gianna and Shiala were…
 
JT: FOUR!

Kasumi Goto: Four and a half, if you count that Rachni chick.

Modifié par General User, 13 janvier 2011 - 06:30 .

[Comaatil]

Shepard: (talking about tali) Looks like her suit...

Shepard: Isnt there only thing getting taken off

YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!

[Dean_the_Young]

General User?



Why have you not written more often?



That is an injustice which should be rectified.



Cheers.

[Sandbox47]

Actually, I think that you both, Dean and General, are doing very good additions to this thread (Dean, very good indeed). I think that ADLegend and Primal Eden deserve praise. Eden's last post, spot on.



All in all, between ourselves, we're doing a good job of making ME dialogues.



If you guys want to, we could start doing "challenges". Say, I challenge the next post to do something about Jacob and EDI and then, if they come up with something good, they can can challege the poster that comes after them. Just a thought. If you want.

[ADLegend21]

Sandbox47 wrote...

Actually, I think that you both, Dean and General, are doing very good additions to this thread (Dean, very good indeed). I think that ADLegend and Primal Eden deserve praise. Eden's last post, spot on.

All in all, between ourselves, we're doing a good job of making ME dialogues.

If you guys want to, we could start doing "challenges". Say, I challenge the next post to do something about Jacob and EDI and then, if they come up with something good, they can can challege the poster that comes after them. Just a thought. If you want.

 much appreciated. oh and Challenge accepted!

Jacob: EDI?
EDI: Yes Jacob?
Jacob: you're unshackled now,right?
EDI: Yes I am. my fuctions have been incresed immensly and I am capable of more than I was at the start of the mission.
Jacob: Good, can you make me a bed, I'm tired of standing here.

[Sandbox47]

Naw! You were supposed to offer a challenge in return. Oh well.

Shepard: You are good at hand-to-hand combat, right?
Garrus: Yes. I've told you this. I was one of the best.
S: And you've seen Thane at work. He's got some kung-fu skills.
G: What's that?
S: Good at what he does.
G: Right.
S: And Jack and Grunt do berserker fights.
G: Yes?
S: And Morinth kills with biotic kung-fu.
G: What's your point?
S: Well, I can only hit people with my right hand. A bit like a twitch.
G:Oh. Do you want lessons?
S: Alright! Show me your reach!
G: No, I meant fighting.
S: Right, right. But first, let's go up to my room and you show me your reach.

Here's a though one: Udina and Anderson

Modifié par Sandbox47, 13 janvier 2011 - 09:52 .