1554 réponses à ce sujet

[Mister Mida]

sporeian wrote...
.... BRING IT ON!

Tali: You completely destroyed the Quarian's unity Shepard
. Now my people will argue about my fathers data and...

Shepard: *holds up a flower and smells it* Ohhh Yeahh look at me! I can smell and feel things.
*holds up fur coat*
ahhhhhhhh.... soft and fuzzy AND I can eat solids to!
*Starts eating and apple*
MMMMMMMM... It's like heaven is in my mouth.

Tali: *Sobs and runs off*

Shepard: I feel a disturbance... like thousands of people all wanting to kill me in the most ruthless manner imaginable... oh well.

Is that you, Eric (Cartman) Shepard?

Modifié par Mister Mida, 17 janvier 2011 - 09:43 .

[GuardianAngel470]

ADLegend21 wrote...

ftkerns wrote...

 Okay, I just lurk here, but this topic started my gears turning. Figured I'd toss a couple out just for the hell of it...

[Anderson, Shep, Tali, Legion after meeting with the council]
Anderson: Sorry about that, Shepard. Especially the turian councilor. He can be...hard to deal with.
Legion: We believe the correct terminology is "a**hole."
Tali: This is the second time I've found myself agreeing with a geth. My life has taken a dark turn.
-----
[Shep, Zaeed, Garrus in the Dark Star later]
Garrus: I was never fond of the council, or any politicians, but the way they treated you was a new low for them. "Ah, yes, Reapers." Glad I didn't have to deal with that bastard.
Zaeed: I ran into him a while back. (points at restroom) Just finished a job that paid a real nice piece of coin. Had a drink to celebrate my latest victory, stepped into the can, and there he was. The stall door was open, no way I could miss it. Sitting there, getting a honk from that reporter. Ah, what the hell's her name? The one everybody keeps punching. Anyway, I just did my business and left. I don't think he even noticed me. Too busy making his "O" face.
Garrus: That's...just wrong. I think that's the most wrong thing I've ever heard.
Zaeed: No s**t. There's not enough booze in the galaxy to wash that image out of my head.

HAHAHA WHAT?!

His "O" face, HECK YES! Office Space Rules!

[Sandbox47]

Morrigan: So tell me, why have you brought me here?

TIM: Humanity faces its greates threat yet. The Reapers. They are a sentient species of spacefaring machines that are set on wiping out all technologically advanced life in the galaxy.

Morrigan: *very unimpressed* Tinker will always lose against magic.

TIM: They may prove a greater challenge than you think. But you experience and powers will prove useful to Shepard's mission, I am sure.

Morrigan: I am older than she is.

TIM: Yes.

Morrigan: Don't I get my own team?

TIM: You have undeniable skill and power but Shepard is a natural leader.

Morrigan: Great. Two thousand years and still I have to be dragged into other people's misery.
________________________________________________________________________________________

Zevran: Ah, Normandy. She does not look like any ship I've ever seen before.

Joker: Yeah, well, it's a bit more advanced than rocks tied together.

Zevran: And this thing, it is glowing!

Joker: Yes, that's a display panel-....

Zevran: And there are naked women playing with each other!

Joker: Ah... that's a simulation I was running... on... Shepard's agility... compared to them...

Zevran: Don't be embarrased Jeffrey! I am sure that your commander will appreciate to know that you make medical comparisons with her and naked women. Oh, commander!

Joker: No, wait, no! Ah, damn it. *checks the display* Worth it though.
________________________________________________________________________________________

Tali: How can you be Miranda's sister? Humans don't live beyond a hundred years. And even if they could, you would be her great grandmother or something.

Morrigan: My mother had a look into the future. To, "spread her views".

Tali: More than views, it looks like.

Morrigan: That as well.

Tali: But she was engineered by her father.

Morrigan: Who was influenced by Flemeth to do so. This body isn't Flemeth's daughter either. Just a temporary shell I use for conveniece. It is a trend in our family.

Tali: O_O So Miranda will start possessing people as well?

Morrigan: Let us hope so.

Tali: Why?

Morrigan: If I have to be alive two thousand more years so that humans live - then odds on, I'll be the one slaughtering my way through them. Better she than me.

[Marta Rio]

Kasumi: So Jack, who do you think is the best looking person on the ship?
Jack: What is this?  Some misguided attempt at "girl talk"?  ****** off.
Kasumi: Come on, it's fun.  And don't you think, um, Jacob is pretty attractive?
Jack: Jacob is Cerberus.  He can go to hell.  And so can you.

Kasumi: Tali, who do you think is the best looking person on the ship?
Tali: <embarassed> Well, there is one person, I, er, kind of like...
Kasumi: Oooh, who's that?
Tali: <blurts out> COMMANDER SHEPARD!
Kasumi: You think he's better looking than say, Jacob?
Tali: Yes, definitely.  I mean, Jacob's okay, but have you ever seen Shepard smile?  Or noticed how his hair is perfectly groomed, even when he's going into battle?  Or how the light from his cybernetic implants makes it look like...
Kasumi: Oh my, look at the time.  I should go.

Kasumi: Miranda, who do you think is the best looking person on the ship?
Miranda: Well, it's difficult to say.  There are a fair number of attractive, healthy, human males on this ship.
Kasumi: Like, Jacob, am I right?
Miranda: Jacob is suitable in the looks department, but he has a certain attribute that I find...unacceptable.
Kasumi: Really?  He seems perfect to me.
Miranda: Does the term "low motility" mean anything to you?
Kasumi: No...
Miranda: Why don't you go ask Mordin about it?  I'm sure he would be more than happy to explain.

[KGuNN45]

^^^ha nice. i enjoy the kasumi conversations.

[Harmless Crunch]

That was great Sandbox & u to Marta Rio

[ADLegend21]

Jacob: SHepard, I need to talk to you.

Shep: what is it Mr. Taylor.

Jacob: it's the way you speak to me M'am. I'm starting not to like it.

Shep: what do you mean, I'm just being friendly.

Jacob: well, you're talking to me like oyu wanna throw me on a table and ride me like a roller coaster.

Shep:O-O what? no....do I really?

Jacob: *pulls out recording device* say something about me into this.

Shep: Jacob Taylor is a great soldier.

Jacob: survey says *presses play*

(recording)Shep: Jacob Taylor is one fine piece of man candy! *moan*

Shep: O-O what the hell?!

[Cra5y Pineapple]

sporeian wrote...
Shepard: I feel a disturbance... like thousands of people all wanting to kill me in the most ruthless manner imaginable... oh well.

LOL.
Do Jack next, that'll be really frikin' hard.

[Marta Rio]

ADLegend21 wrote...
Jacob: *pulls out recording device* say something about me into this.
Shep: Jacob Taylor is a great soldier.
Jacob: survey says *presses play*
(recording)Shep: Jacob Taylor is one fine piece of man candy! *moan*
Shep: O-O what the hell?!

Haw, it's funny because it's true.

[sporeian]

Cra5y Pineapple wrote...

sporeian wrote...
Shepard: I feel a disturbance... like thousands of people all wanting to kill me in the most ruthless manner imaginable... oh well.

LOL.
Do Jack next, that'll be really frikin' hard.

Shepard: *Reading Jack's poetry to the crew* No esteemed dead are buried here...

Crew: *Bursts out in laughter*

Shepard: God, she is the second worst character of everyone here, but no one is worst than... Jacob! *stares*

Jacob: *Crying femininely* BUT THE PRIIIZE? *Runs off in a girly manner*

[phreakscp]

Legion: Shepard-Commander, we have an inquiry.



Shepard: What is it Legion?



L: Judging by Shepard-Commander's past relationships with Williams-Soldier and Lawson-Operative, we request knowledge of human courtship and mating behavior.



S: Are you really asking me for relationship advice? Maybe you should go to Kelly instead.



L: We only seek methods to ensure Morrigan approves our actions.



S: I never figured that one out either.

[phreakscp]

[During Suicide Mission, when encountering the Collector Cruiser]

Female Shepard: Time to show them our new teeth.  Fire the main gun.

*nothing happens*

S: What's going on?  That ship should be vapor right now!

EDI: Diagnostics report multiple malfunctions in the Thanix Cannon.  Maintenance logs show the cannon has not been calibrated for over three hours.  Garrus is not at his station on Deck Three.

S: He's probably still up in my cabin sleeping.  Good luck with that Collector Cruiser.  I'm off to see Mordin because I think I "ingested".

[ADLegend21]

*During suicide mission after the second fire team makes it through the door*

Miranda: Off *is shot in the stomach*

FShep:Miri, are you alright? I told you to wear armor, but no you wouldn't listen, better for my mobility and biotics. Now you're gonna die because I'm out of medigel I forgot to upgrade my capacity and harbingers been spamming fireballs I'm so stupid!

Miranda: Um, Shepard, I'm fine see *no blood*

Shep: but...?

Miranda: my suits made of industrial kevlar and titanium fabric. You could shoot a flame thrower at me below the neck and I'd be untouched. It takes at least a headshot to kill me, now we've got some collecotrs to kill.

Shep: *jaw hits the floor*

[Interactive Civilian]

ADLegend21 wrote...

*During suicide mission after the second fire team makes it through the door*
Miranda: Off *is shot in the stomach*
FShep:Miri, are you alright? I told you to wear armor, but no you wouldn't listen, better for my mobility and biotics. Now you're gonna die because I'm out of medigel I forgot to upgrade my capacity and harbingers been spamming fireballs I'm so stupid!
Miranda: Um, Shepard, I'm fine see *no blood*
Shep: but...?
Miranda: my suits made of industrial kevlar and titanium fabric. You could shoot a flame thrower at me below the neck and I'd be untouched. It takes at least a headshot to kill me, now we've got some collecotrs to kill.
Shep: *jaw hits the floor*

*Renegade Interrupt: Shepard shoots Miranda in the head*
Shepard: Guess you should've added a helmet.

I keed. I keed.

[lovgreno]

MaleShep: It's unfair!

FemShep: What is unfair brother?

MaleShep: Well you dear sister can flirt with girls all you want.

FS smirks.

MS: But I am not even allowed to show the slightest interest in guys! Unfair!

FS: Thane is mine brother... Mine!

MS: Unfair!

Zevran: Perhaps I can be to some assistance?

MaleShep:

[James2912]

new challenge. Shep shows the crew Family Guy for movie night!

[ADLegend21]

James2912 wrote...

new challenge. Shep shows the crew Family Guy for movie night!

Challenge accepted!

Shep: so what'd you guys think?
Miranda: what an utterly useless peice of garbage
Garrus: the quadraped was an interesting character.
Grunt: I liked the baby, are all human infants like that?
Samara:I must reevaluate my studies on humanity if these are infact the daily happenings of human life on earth.
Thane:Lois reminded me a little of you Siha.
Jack: that Chicken was badass! you couldn't keep him down!
Jacob: eh, it was alright.
Kasumi:Joe was pretty cool, althoguh I wouldn't touch quarmire if my life depended on it.
Zaeed:hat Joe, reminds me of one of my old first contact war buddies jim. lost both his legs during a turian ambush  it was bloody hell everywhere you looked I-
Shep: was the only one who mad eit out alive.
Zaeed: UP YOR VILE WOMAN!
shep: settle down stewie

[James2912]

ADLegend21 wrote...

James2912 wrote...

new challenge. Shep shows the crew Family Guy for movie night!

Challenge accepted!

Shep: so what'd you guys think?
Miranda: what an utterly useless peice of garbage
Garrus: the quadraped was an interesting character.
Grunt: I liked the baby, are all human infants like that?
Samara:I must reevaluate my studies on humanity if these are infact the daily happenings of human life on earth.
Thane:Lois reminded me a little of you Siha.
Jack: that Chicken was badass! you couldn't keep him down!
Jacob: eh, it was alright.
Kasumi:Joe was pretty cool, althoguh I wouldn't touch quarmire if my life depended on it.
Zaeed:hat Joe, reminds me of one of my old first contact war buddies jim. lost both his legs during a turian ambush  it was bloody hell everywhere you looked I-
Shep: was the only one who mad eit out alive.
Zaeed: UP YOR VILE WOMAN!
shep: settle down stewie

haha I enjoyed it good job!

[goatman42]

Ok I'm going meta with this one.

New Challenge. The crew is watching Shepard play Mass Effect.

[Interactive Civilian]

goatman42 wrote...

Ok I'm going meta with this one.
New Challenge. The crew is watching Shepard play Mass Effect.

Jack: So, why did they get environment suits and helmets for working in vacuum and other hostile environments? Not to mention the built in body armor...
Garrus: Yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that, Shepard. I mean, you DO realize that I've got bullet holes in my current armor, don't you? I sure wouldn't mind getting another set of that Phantom armor I used to wear.
Jack: You think a couple of bullet holes is a problem? Do you have any idea how much I f*cking freeze my t*ts off whenever we go outside?
Shepard: Well, you could consider wearing, oh I don't know, a shirt?
Jack: Can it, Shepard. If Cerberus has so many f*cking resources, you'd think they could drop the cash for space suits and armor for your crew.
Shepard: Tali doesn't seem to be having problems...
Tali: Actually, Shepard. Do you remember that Colossus armor you got for me from the  engineer on Terra Nova? I've been wondering what happened to that. It was nice armor.

*renegade interrupt: Shepard throws the controller down in a rage and stalks out of the room*

Garrus: Finally. It's about time we got him to go. Now, who gets to play next?

Modifié par Interactive Civilian, 18 janvier 2011 - 06:20 .

[Interactive Civilian]

herpaderp quote =/= edit

Modifié par Interactive Civilian, 18 janvier 2011 - 05:51 .

[ADLegend21]

Shep: hey Samara.

Samara: I will not sleep with you.

Shep: B-b-but....*runs away crying*

Jack: haha that was priceless!

[Shadow_Soul]

Kasumi: So, Garrus, you and Shep...
Garrus: Kasumi, go away.
Kasumi: I just want to know how much flexibility she had. *pouts*
Tali: What's this about?
Garrus: Shut up!
Kasumi: Oh well he and Shep-
Garrus: Ugh! I'm leaving! *walks off to the main battery*
Kasumi: You still want to know?
Tali: I already to know. I just like teasing him. *walks away and Kasumi leaves to her own room as well*
-------------
Shep: So, why don't you come up to my cabin.
LI: Sure, I'll be up in a moment.
Kasumi: *snickers*
Shep: Kasumi, I know your there, now leave.
Kasumi: *uncloaks* Damn it! *walks out*
------------
(I'll do the challenge of Shep playing ME as well)

Shep: Headshot! Sweet, take that Harbinger.
Kasumi: Nice.
Jack: Damn it! Use the godd*mn medi-gel and get your team back up!
Garrus: Why do you like this? You could just headshoot real Collectors.
Shep: But this is fun and I won't die.
Tali: Commander, on your left.
Jack: And your right.
Shep: Sh*t, I died.
Garrus: So you do die.
Shep: Your sleeping on the f*cking couch tonight! *throws the controller on the ground and storms out*
Kasumi: You want to play, don't you?
Garrus: Yeah.
Tali: I knew it! Oh keelah. I hope you have a good night sleep, I hear the couch in her quarters is quite stiff and hurts your back.
Garrus: O__O Sh*t. *runs out* Shepard!
Kasumi: You want to play?
Tali: Yes, because I'm better since I've played before. *restarts the game* Headshot!
Jack: Give me the damn controller Quarian.
Tali: No! *dies* Noooo!
Jack: Hahaha! *takes controller and dies then Kasumi takes her turn and she beats the game in an hour*
Kasumi: I win.
The rest of the crew: @__@ What the hell?
--------------

Challenge=Liara and Samara

Modifié par Shadow_Soul, 18 janvier 2011 - 06:50 .

[ADLegend21]

Challenge Accepted!



Liara: Ah, you mut be the Justicar Samara.

Samara: *leaves mediation* ah you are Dr. Liara T'Soni, the new Shadow broker. Please have a seat.

Liara:*sits* i would like to know more about you.

Samara: Ask and I may answer.

Liara: How is Shepard doing? He enver seems to open up to anyone anymore. I've seen footbage of him on and off the battlefield, he blew up on Kaidan alenko on Horizon, treated Wrex like crap on his own homeworld, he was even aloof with me during our attack on the shadow brokers base, and he even verbally abused the Shadow broker during the encounter.

Samara: well Dr. It pains me to say this but I believe I maybe the cause of all this. you see, he began to show interest in me ever since we met. we became closer as he began asking about my life and telling me about his. I almost shared a kiss, but in the end my desires were supressed and I rejected him. It hurt me immensly but I had to do it.

Liara: well, I ahte to ask this of someone who is of your position but...can you at least put out once? Because Shepard needs to get laid, badly. Even when I tried to cheer him up after losing ashley on Virmire he's just been up tight. It'll make him a better man.

Samara:...well...if you put it that way...I will speak to the commander and then I can put this behind us. *leaves the observation deck*

Shepard: *uncloaks* you are the best wingwoman ever Liara.

Liara: it's the least I could do shepard *brofist*