1554 réponses à ce sujet

[Cyberstrike nTo]

Liara: "I think Shepard has a thing, as humans call it, for alien virgins." 
Tali: "I know."

Shepard: "What the hell did make this hover tank out of?! Tin foil?"
Garrus: "It's times like this that I miss the Mako!"
Shepard: "Oh shut up and help put that fire out!"

Modifié par Cyberstrike nTo, 17 décembre 2010 - 03:07 .

[Exile Isan]

After the first time Tali uses her combat drone.
Garrus: *laughing*
Shepard: *laughing*
Tali: What? What are you laughing at.
Shepard: Only you would name a combat drone.

Tali and Garrus are my Shep's best buds.

[Iakus]

Samara: I understand your son is trying to follow in your footsteps. In your...line of work.

Thane. Yes.I suppose most fathers would be proud of such a thing. But I sincerely hope he can be dissuaded.

Samra: As do I. I would hate to have to add him to the list of people I must end.

Thane: It will not come to that! Kolyat is still innocent!

Samara: For now. It is tragic to see one's child fall into darkness. I know what it is like to witness such a thing.

Thane: Kolyat can be saved. Perhaps your child can as well. If I can, I would offer my help with her.

Samara: Your offer is appreciated. But if I were to accept your help, it would not be in the way that you mean. It would be for your professional skills.

Thane: You would have your own daughter killed?

Samara: I pursue that with as much determination as you do to save your son.

Thane: And I thought I was a cold-blooded killer

Modifié par iakus, 17 décembre 2010 - 08:02 .

[Cra5y Pineapple]

iakus wrote...

Samara: I understand your son is trying to follow in your footsteps. In your...line of work.
Thane. Yes.I suppose most fathers would be proud of such a thing. But I sincerely hope he can be dissuaded.
Samra: As do I. I would hate to have to add him to the list of people I must end.
Thane: It will not come to that! Kolyat is still innocent!
Samara: For now. It is tragic to see one's child fall into darkness. I know what it is like to witness such a thing.
Thane: Kolyat can be saved. Perhaps your child can as well. If I can, I would offer my help with her.
Samara: Your offer is appreciated. But if I were to accept your help, it would not be in the way that you mean. It would be more...professional.
Thane: You would have your own daughter killed?
Samara: I pursue that with as much determination as you do to save your son.
Thane: And I thought I was a cold-blooded.killer

First serious thing on the thread...and I'm quite intruiged. Always wondered how Samara would react to Thane and Kasumi who live off breaking the law.

[CroGamer002]

Legion: Shepard-Commander.

Shepard: No it's Commander Shepard.

L: That's what we say Shepard-Commander.

S: No, it's Commander Shepard.

L: We did said Shepard-Commander.

S: NO! It's Commander Shepard.

L: Shepard-Commander.

S: GODDAMN IT!

*thinks a bit*

S: Repeat with me. Commander.

L: Commander.

S: Shepard.

L: Shepard-Commander.

S: NO! Just say Shepard.

L: We said it. Shepard-Commander.

S: Oh God!

*starts to pull his hair out*

L: What is wrong Shepard-Commander?

*few seconds of quite*

S: I should go.

[Iakus]

Jack: What? What are you staring at?

Grunt: You're tiny.

Jack And you're ugly. What's the point?

Grunt. Tiny. But fierce

Jack: Is this going somewhere? Or do I have to smash your head against the ceiling until you shut the ::expletive:: up?

Grunt: I heard about the thing you did with the space station. And that moon. You could almost be krogan.

Jack: Last chance, Grunt.

Grunt: :: a little hesitantly:: Are you hungry? You wanna get some dinner after this?

Jack: Are you ::expletive:: kidding me?

Modifié par iakus, 17 décembre 2010 - 09:37 .

[Loup Blanc]

LOL. This thread it awesome. I was at work reading what some of you guys come up with... cracked me up all day.

Modifié par JL81, 17 décembre 2010 - 09:45 .

[Moondoggie]

Jacob: Hey Shepard i gotta show you this new gu.....Wait...Where the heck did that go!? Kasumi do you know anything about this?



Kasumi: Meeee? I know nothing!



Jacob: And how many OTHER interglactic thieves do we have on board the Normandy? Come to think of it i've lost my armor,boots and gun in the last few days....Sounds like somebody is building a shrine to me but that would be nuts.



Kasumi: Yeah haha nuts.... (sounding nervous)





----------------------------------------------------------------------



Legion: Miranda, This unit has an inquiry



Miranda: What is it?



Legion: It is noted in my logs that Cerberus made an attempt to acquire this unit. What would they have done with me if they had me?



Miranda: Well i'm not sure...I'd imagine take you apart and find out what makes you tick



Legion: This unit is not a clock....It does not "tick"



Miranda: No no you misunderstand..It's a human expression it means find out how you work



Legion: This unit is not available for experimentation



Miranda: I'm not sure you'd get a choice in the matter



Legion: Cerberus likes to do everything via force. Just as the creators tried to solve their differences with us by foce. These methords will not prevail. Reponse to foce accross all species is always unfavourable. Cerberus has a 0.998 chance of success with these methords.



---------------------------------------------



Garrus: Hey remember the time when you got chickenpox? Hard to believe a simple human disease almost killed you.



Tali: And here we have another of your annoying memories...



Garrus: Engineer Adams was so worried he stayed at your side the whole time. You used to follow him around a lot....You two would have made a cute couple



Tali: I hate you so much....

[GordonNoob2010]

Grunt: Battlemaster.

Wrex: Grunt.

Grunt: Battlemaster SHEPARD.

Shepard: Grunt.

Grunt: Who would win in a fight between you and Wrex?

Ashley: I would.

[earthbornFemShep]

Shepard: So, when you said, "in another time, another life" you did realize that I'm on my second life....

Samara: Shepard, I thought we agreed not to speak of this.

Shepard: Seriously, Samara. How many times must a girl die before....

Samara: Seven.

Shepard: Well sh*t... I'm not a cat.

Garrus: Did someone call for me?

[earthbornFemShep]

Shepard: Joker, head to the... uh. Hold on, let me check my journal.
Joker: Shepard, you seem distracted.
Shepard: It's nothing.
Joker: We've been through enough things together that I know when something is bothering you.
Shepard: Alright, fine. It is just that I keep thinking about that fight I had with and...
Joker: Commander, I'm in a relationship with a computer who has no way to make physical contact with me and you expect me to sit here and sympathize with you?
Shepard: Oh... right. Um... Just set a course for...
EDI: Shepard, that was a joke.

All these scenes are while walking to the shuttle or hammerhead:

Zaeed:  So, are we getting paid for this gig?
Shepard:  Zaeed, we're not mercenaries.
Zaeed:  Then what the hell are we?
Shepard:  Big godd*mn heroes.
------------------
Shepard:  Where's Kasumi?  I told her to meet us at the shuttle bay.
Jacob:  Maybe she....
{Kasumi uncloaks right behind Jacob}
Kasumi:  Sorry, I umm.. forgot I was cloaked.
Jacob:  So that's what the breathing noise was... I thought I was hearing things.
------------------
Legion:  Shepard-Commander, our records indicate the shuttle can carry 13 passengers, while we only take 3 on missions.
Shepard:  Shush, shush shush!
Legion:  Shepard-Commander?
Shepard:  Ix-nay on the uttle-shay!
Legion:  Code encryption files suggest that you are using pig-latin in an effort to silence my logic.
Shepard: Ight-ray.  Let's go.
Tali:  *sigh* Idiots.
-------------------
Jack:  I hope we get to kill a lot of things, the hold is getting a bit boring.
Shepard:  If you want better quarters...
Jack:  Shepard, you're just pissing around.  I'm not interested in "sharing" your quarters.
Shepard:  Uh, no... I was going to suggest putting a bunk down in the armory, near Jacob.
Kasumi:  Now hold on, Shepard.  Jack can have my room.  I don't mind roughing it in the armory.
Shepard:  Yeah... I'm sure it won't bother you at all.
--------------------
Grunt:  Battlemaster, our enemies will be like swiss cheese with blood coming out of the holes!
Shepard:  Grunt, have you been watching my Futurama collection?
Grunt:  Um...  no.
---------------------

Modifié par earthbornFemShep, 18 décembre 2010 - 03:22 .

[earthbornFemShep]

doublepost

Modifié par earthbornFemShep, 18 décembre 2010 - 03:22 .

[Zrvan]

Samara: Why did you volunteer for this mission?

Jacob: Excuse me?

Samara: Why did you volunteer for this mission?

Jacob: I'm sorry, I don't think I've ever heard you speak to me.

Samara: Hello and good morning. Why did you volunteer for this mission?

Jacob: I didn't volunteer, I was ordered to assist Mirand and Shepard.

Samara: But you would have volunteered, if the option were made available.

Jacob: You think so?

Samara: I live and breathe my duty, Jacob Taylor. I know a similarly shined stone when I see one.

Jacob: Fair enough. Yes, I would have volunteered.

Samara: That was not my question.

Jacob: I would have -- hypothetically -- volunteered because I believe the Illusive Man when he says that the work we're doing -- what we're helping Shepard with -- is important.

Samara: Why is that?

Jacob: Man doesn't make a habit of being wrong.

Samara: So because he has been right in the past, you believe he is right now?

Jacob: You think he isn't?

Samara: I do not know. I have never met the Illusive Man. I only know him from the reflections he leaves on others.

Jacob: So this really isn't about me, it's about the Illusive Man.

Samara: It is about all of us. I may be called upon to do battle with you, Jacob Taylor. I would know who I must fight beside.

Jacob: Fair enough. You can ask me anything. You don't have to dance around the issue.

Samara: I have offended you.

Jacob: No, you haven't. I understand that trust has to happen between soldiers.

Samara: So you trust Miranda Lawson, then?

Jacob: That's . . . a complicated answer.

Samara: I have the time, if you wish to be thorough.

Jacob: I trust the Illusive Man, and he trusts her.

Samara: Interesting.

Jacob: What's interesting?

Samara: I am afraid I have finished my meal. If you wish to discuss this further, meet me on the observation deck.

[Woodsworth]

Tali: Garrus

Garrus: What do you need, Tali

Tali: You sure do a lot of calibrations

Garrus:...... So, a lot of stuff needs calibrations

Shepard: And do you feel.... better... after all these calibrations

Garrus: ..... I feel great.... I mean.... I enjoy my job..... don't we have reapers to fight.

EDI: My sensors detect that no calibrations have been made in the past week.

Garrus:..... Haha... well of course you wouldn't....uh....detect them....because I haven't....uh....calibrated your sensors in awhile.... so.....

Shepard: Legion told us everything

Garrus: What are you talking about?

Tali: He told us about all of your "calibrating" sessions

Garrus: (breaking into tears) I'm so sorry......I need help

Shepard: We are here because we care and want to help.

Grunt: We are? I thought we were going to squash him.

Shepard: No, we care about him.

Grunt: I'm out then

[aeetos21]

The conversation that SHOULD'VE happened between Shepard and Miranda earlier on in ME2.

Shepard: "What was Cerberus trying to approve by experimenting on the rachni? The Thorian creepers? Husks? On Jack?"

Miranda: "We already went over this, do I really need to repeat myself?"

Shepard: "I lost fifty men on Akuze just because Cerberus wanted to see what a Thresher Maw could do. A 250 man marine company was wiped out because Cerberus didn't take the necessary precautions in dealing with the rachni - just like what happened with Exo-Geni. End result? I blew that facility to hell and back."

Miranda: "There was no way to know-"

Shepard: "Another marine unit was killed just days before I became a Spectre. Apparently killing 50 marines on Akuze wasn't enough and Cerberus wanted to test some more on Thresher Maws. Did it get enough Intel that time? Or do they need to assassinate another Admiral to keep things quiet?"

Miranda: "I don't pretend to understand everything Cerberus does nor could I possibly be aware of every ongoing operation and their results."

Shepard: "Apparently you're an expert on all things me. Did you conveniently overlook all things relating to Cerberus in my past history? Or did you simply not have access to them?"

Miranda: "No one is saying Cerberus is innocent but-"

Shepard: "Just a selective memory then? That's okay. I can understand that, I still have problems sleeping at night given the people I've lost under my command. Maybe if I look at them like collateral damage or statistics I won't lose so much."

Miranda: "You'll never trust Cerberus, or be grateful for everything we did to bring you back."

Shepard: "If I plan on living past your Illusive Man's planned execution for me? No, I really don't, on both accounts."

Modifié par aeetos21, 18 décembre 2010 - 03:49 .

[Iakus]

Garrus: So, Jacob. Why did you fall in with Cerberus? I hear you were quite the marine.



Jacob. Because if we waited for the Alliance to figure out what to do about the Reapers, the galaxy will burn.



Garrus: But Cerberus? You can’t seriously think joining up with terrorists is a good idea.



Jacob: Not a good idea, but the least bad idea. At least they’re doing something. Something is better than nothing.



Jacob: You know what I mean. I’ve read your file. You were a rising star in C-Sec. You were considered for Spectre candidacy. But you walked away from all that to lead a vigilante gang on Omega. Red tape means letting innocent people get hurt.



Garrus: I wasn’t suges…maybe you’re right. You’ve given me something to think about. Maybe we’re not so different after all.



++++++



Miranda: Why are you staring at me?



Jack? What? I wasn’t staring. I was watching your back. That’s what the commander wants us to do, right? Watch each others backs?



Miranda: Well, watch someone else’s back. You’re making my shoulders itch. Like you're looking for a spot to put a knife in.



Jack: Given how you dress, I’m sure you’re used to people staring at something other than your back.



Miranda: You are hardly one to talk. We do have shirts on the Normandy, you know.



Jack: I don’t want anything from you people. When you grow up as a lab experiment for Cerberus, you get a little wary about accepting gifts from them. Not that you’d know anything about that kind of life, cheerleader.



Miranda: Don’t presume that you understand anything about how I grew up

[betd2]

Woodsworth wrote...

Tali: Garrus
Garrus: What do you need, Tali
Tali: You sure do a lot of calibrations
Garrus:...... So, a lot of stuff needs calibrations
Shepard: And do you feel.... better... after all these calibrations
Garrus: ..... I feel great.... I mean.... I enjoy my job..... don't we have reapers to fight.
EDI: My sensors detect that no calibrations have been made in the past week.
Garrus:..... Haha... well of course you wouldn't....uh....detect them....because I haven't....uh....calibrated your sensors in awhile.... so.....
Shepard: Legion told us everything
Garrus: What are you talking about?
Tali: He told us about all of your "calibrating" sessions
Garrus: (breaking into tears) I'm so sorry......I need help
Shepard: We are here because we care and want to help.
Grunt: We are? I thought we were going to squash him.
Shepard: No, we care about him.
Grunt: I'm out then

:lol::lol:

[pinskyyang]

lmfao at some of these posts!

[lovgreno]

The Hammerhead crashes into a wall.
Garrus: Just like old times Shepard...
Tali: Well at least the Mako didn't blow up when you drove it off high cliffs, rammed geth colossus, rolled down a hillside and things like that.
Garrus: I know all too well because it was I who had to fix it each damn time Shepard wrecked it.

Carchasing that spectre Whatshername in LotSB:
Liara: Truck! Truck!
Tali or Garrus: Just like old times Shepard...

Modifié par lovgreno, 18 décembre 2010 - 04:59 .

[Zrvan]

Grunt: You're a father.

Thane: That is correct. Did Shepard disclose the nature of the mission on the Citadel?

Grunt: Yes. He said you have a son who needed rescuing.

Thane: That is a succinct summary.

Grunt: He also said that you would do anything for your son.

Thane: Any father would.

Grunt: Would you die to protect him?

Thane: If I believed that my death would benefit him, and there were no alternatives, yes, I would.

Grunt: Even if you were not dying?

Thane: Yes.

Grunt: The voice in the tank had a word for this: sacrifice. The krogan word for it is different from the turian and asari words.

Thane: Do you find the idea of sacrifice confusing?

Grunt: No. I know sacrifice -- at the battle of Kores-da, General Valerian sent over a hundred auxiliaries to die to secure the landing platform at the south end of the gorge.

Thane: Forgive me, my command of turian military history is lacking.

Grunt: What I do not understand is the difference between a father sacrificing his life for his child, and a commander sacrificing his troops to secure victory.

Thane: You believe there is a difference?

Grunt: Warlord Bete once said 'A commander must be both father and torturer to his troops.'

Thane: Perhaps Warlord Bete was reflecting on the two aspects of being an officer: one who must be attached to his troops, so that he will not spend their lives needlessly, but not shirk his duty of enforcing discipline within his ranks, else his men will die.

Grunt: I understand the lesson. What I wonder about is the 'father' part.

Thane: Wonder?

Grunt: You are a father. Would you sacrifice your son for victory?

Thane: I do not wish to continue this discussion.

[Zrvan]

Garrus: So, Legion . . . when do you think Shepard will be back?

Legion: Calculating . . . given Shepard-Commander's stated task and foot speed, between five and ten minutes.

Garrus: I don't suppose you know any good jokes . . . ?

Legion: This platform can reliably access 1,327 short-humor performances. The majority are archaic Quarian performances, and so linguistically and culturally irrelevant to our exchange.

Garrus: So, no, then.

Legion: In deference to the perceived usefulness of banter, this platform will attempt to build consensus on the creation of a new performance.

Garrus: Wait, what? Are you going to make up a new joke?

Legion: Yes. Compiling . . .

Garrus: You don't have to-

Legion: Why are there no asari on this platform?

Garrus: I feel like I'm going to regret this. Why?

Legion: Because this platform's heat cycles render it inappropriate for close contact.

Garrus: That wasn't, uh, actually that bad.

Legion: Stress indicators of turian physiology indicate a 96.71% chance that the previous statement is a lie of exaggeration.

[betd2]

Zrvan wrote...

Garrus: So, Legion . . . when do you think Shepard will be back?
Legion: Calculating . . . given Shepard-Commander's stated task and foot speed, between five and ten minutes.
Garrus: I don't suppose you know any good jokes . . . ?
Legion: This platform can reliably access 1,327 short-humor performances. The majority are archaic Quarian performances, and so linguistically and culturally irrelevant to our exchange.
Garrus: So, no, then.
Legion: In deference to the perceived usefulness of banter, this platform will attempt to build consensus on the creation of a new performance.
Garrus: Wait, what? Are you going to make up a new joke?
Legion: Yes. Compiling . . .
Garrus: You don't have to-
Legion: Why are there no asari on this platform?
Garrus: I feel like I'm going to regret this. Why?
Legion: Because this platform's heat cycles render it inappropriate for close contact.
Garrus: That wasn't, uh, actually that bad.
Legion: Stress indicators of turian physiology indicate a 96.71% chance that the previous statement is a lie of exaggeration.

I have created a monster.  of epic humor

[RiouHotaru]

iakus wrote...

Jack: What? What are you staring at?

Grunt: You're tiny.

Jack And you're ugly. What's the point?

Grunt. Tiny. But fierce

Jack: Is this going somewhere? Or do I have to smash your head against the ceiling until you shut the ::expletive:: up?

Grunt: I heard about the thing you did with the space station. And that moon. You could almost be krogan.

Jack: Last chance, Grunt.

Grunt: :: a little hesitantly:: Are you hungry? You wanna get some dinner after this?

Jack: Are you ::expletive:: kidding me?

XD  Wow, Grunt "flirting" (though I hesitate to even call it that) with Jack?  I'd pay to see that.

[The Unfallen]

Master Chief: You would dare threaten me? I've taken down an Assault Carrier with my bare hands. I can lift four times my body weight. This armor can deflect tungsten rounds. I suggest you find another fight, Commander.

Shepard: -Looks down at M920 Cain- You assume I give a damn. That is cute.

Modifié par That Yellow Bastard, 19 décembre 2010 - 01:58 .

[Bluko]

Zaeed:"So Archangel I hear you're pretty good with a sniper rifle."

Garrus: "I get the occasional headshot from time to time."

Zaeed:"Heh that reminds of the time I ran into a Turian sniper back in my mercenary days. Had me pinned downed behing a garbage dumpster. Could've bloody well died that day, but Jessie showed him what a headshot really feels like."

Garrus:"That's... an interesting story. Which reminds I should probably re-calibrate my scope once we get back to the Normandy."

Shepard:"Compensating for something Garrus?"

Garrus:"Is this one of those human jokes?"

Zaeed:*still reminiscing to self* "Damn good rifle..."