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[Destroy Raiden_]

I love Tali but...

Shep: Tali you've got a minute?
Tali: Sorry Shepard I really have to get this engine cleaned
Shep shrugs: Talk to you later Tali
walks away.
Tali: Gabby, it's your break you should take it
Gabby looks at terminal clock: What? Really it's time already? I swear I've only been here an hour.
Ken: The clocks don't lie you should go.
Gabby: Yeah sure, bye guys!
Gabby leaves
Tali looks at Ken: Come on over I need some help with my engine.
Ken: You really know how to spark my wires

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Grunt kicks a large rock: Tunchanka is a waste
Wrex: And?
Grunt looks at the rubble strewn planet: What's there to kill?
Wrex: Pijacks everyone else worth a varren's ass is with our clan.
Grunt: I wanna go back to the Normandy!

Modifié par Destroy Raiden , 12 mars 2011 - 02:55 .

[sporeian]

*Shepard enters the collector ship and begins to walk through*

Random, Hidden Collector: Wipe your feet on the mat! Jesus Christ.....

[antique_nova]

Taken from a fanfic written by nevertalk on fanfiction.net:

"Look at you!" Kelly shouted. "Oh, I wish I could go."Shepard chuckled in spite of himself. "This party isn't going to last long. We're there on a mission.""I know," Kelly pouted, "But you're so handsome and the girls are so gorgeous. For once I wish I was in the shore party.""If I had a body, I would feel the same way, Kelly," EDI stated reassuringly."Careful what you wish for," Shepard replied, "I'm not sure how Joker would take to you if you had a body."
"I heard that!" the pilot shouted from the cockpit.

[ADLegend21]

FShep: Hey Garrus, you got your own Halo game.
Garrus: what do you mean?
FShep: see, Halo: Reach.
Garrus: oh haha very funny.

[Nodscouter]

ADLegend21 wrote...

FShep: Hey Garrus, you got your own Halo game.
Garrus: what do you mean?
FShep: see, Halo: Reach.
Garrus: oh haha very funny.

. I support buying Garrus a copy of Halo: Reach in ME3.
Hmmm, that's banner material right there. I'll be back.

[Sajuro]

-How bioware will solve the squadmate issue-
Shepard: -gets out of shuttle and walks over to Anderson-
Anderson: I'm not going to lie to you Shepard, the situation is dire, the reapers are using the worst criminals in the known galaxy to bring down our defenses.
Shepard: Not a problem, because in that shuttle I have the galaxy's top badasses, and jacob, and they have all the heavy weapon ammo,grenades, and C4 we'll need to take down the Reapers -Kodiak Shuttle blows up-.
Anderson:
Shepard: -runs to shuttle- someone call 911! Is anyone in there?

-Shepard is a jerk-
Shepard: Hey Kasumi.
Kasumi: Hey Shep.
Shepard: Want to hear an interesting story about Jacob?
Kasumi: -leans forward- ?
Shepard: So would I
Kasumi: .....
-goes to Thane's room-
Shepard: Hey Thane, have you talked to Lolyat recently?
Thane: Do you mean my son?
Shepard: yeah, Lolyat, the one drell who can't shoot a gun.
Thane: I would appreciate it if you used his real name.
Shepard: uhuh, great talking to you -walks out but sticks head in the door- btw, your wife screwed hanar.
-goes to miranda's room-
Shepard: So is Oriana basically just like you?
Miranda: She is my twin Shepard, younger than me but identical.
Shepard: lets hope your father fixed the plumbing problem.
Miranda: -indignant- excuse me?
Shepard: Or she's going to be in for one hell of a surprise, great talking to you bubble butt.
-goes to Garrus-
Shepard: Still Calibrating?
Garrus: I'll be done in a bit Shepard, we can talk then.
Shepard: It's kind of sad, when most people **** up as badly as you did with your squad on Omega, they have the dignity to drink themselves to death, but you are just pittering around on your little keyboard. I'll come back later then
-Goes to Samara's room-
Shepard: Hey Samara, what are the rules about taunting Justicars?
Samara: If we percieve it to be a threat, we are compelled to kill the offender.
Shepard: good good, I was just wondering because I was about to say your womb turns out to be worse then Miranda's, sure she can't have kids but all of your kids are evil space vampires.
Samara: -looks to him- are you going somewhere with this?
Shepard: no no, just saying you might want to have stopped at one space vampire.

[Kieve KRS]

Legion: Solus-Professor, we have a query.
Mordin: Questions from synthetic construct? Am biological expert. Medical expertise, cellular development. Not tech expert, minimal functional knowledge of synthetic life. Unlikely to-
L: *interrupts with polite "cough"*
M: Apologies. What inquiry? Ask.
L: We wished to know why Solus-Professor does not engage this unit in conversation. The other crew members have frequently voiced queries or discussion about the Geth.
M: Hm. As I said, biology expert. Geth present intriguing sociological structure, group consciousness, high intellect. No biology to speak of. Have not encountered Geth with interest in culture or development, only witness to destructive potential. No offense.
L: You do not speak to us because you do not believe we are worth speaking to?
M: Phrased it poorly. Only Geth encountered so far have been hostile. What you call Heretics. Difficult to analyze culture while dodging pulse fire. Present company excluded of course.
L: *glances at rifle hole* ...We understand your perspective.

_______________________

Shepard: Okay Legion, give. Why did you really use my old armor for self-repair?
L: ...No data available?
S: Not buying it Legion. You told me you build consensus - I know one of those 1,200 Geth programs must have a reason for it.
L: This platform only has 1,183 active programs, Shepard-Commander.
S: Don't try to change the subject, Legion...
*pause*
L: ...It was deemed necessary to recover what remained of you. When we arrived at the wreckage of the first Normandy, you were deceased. Our mission to contact you had failed. We felt... disappointment.
S: So you used it as some kind of memorial?
L: We were unaware of your body's recovery, or of Cerberus efforts to resurrect you. 735 processes concluded this was the best way to preserve what was left.
S: I wasn't aware Geth could feel sentimental.
L: Addendum: There was a hole, Shepard-Commander.
S: *Shep gives a slow smile and shakes his(/her) head* Go down to the engines and see if Tali can patch you up. There's no reason you should still be wandering around with a hole through your chest cavity.
L: We question your judgement. Creator Tali'Zorah does not trust Geth. She aided Creator tests by sending our remains to her people.
S: You're part of the team, Legion, she's not going to break you. And I can't think of anyone more qualified for reconstructing a Geth platform, can you?
EDI: I would have no difficulty obtaining the knowledge, Shepard, but I lack the onboard systems to perform tasks of manual labor.
L: Very well. We will allow Creator Tali'Zorah to perform repair functions on this platform.
S: Glad to hear it. EDI, keep an eye on their progress. If you have any upgrade suggestions, let Tali know.
EDI: Shepard, are you suggesting that Tali and I assist in making a Geth platform more dangerous?
L: We serve Shepard-Commander. We are not a danger to this crew.
S: Don't worry EDI. That's why we keep Grunt around.
EDI: Very well, Shepard.

_______________________

Grunt: Shepard.
S: Something on your mind, Grunt?
G: I talked to Chambers yesterday. She said you have a tank of water in your cabin, with fish.
S: Yeah, she feeds them for me occasionally so they don't go belly-up while we're on a mission. Why?
G: On Tuchanka, many Krogan had pet varren. I think I would like a pet too.
S: Pets are a big responsibility, Grunt. And I'm not sure how Mordin would feel about a varren on board - he's treated a few cases of scale-itch already.
G: Your fish gave me the idea - we already have my tank here. I want a fish too.
S: Maybe that's doable, then. Next time we pass by Illium, we'll stop in and have a look.
G: No need. Your fish are weak, anyway. Soft. Good for eating, but not useful for keeping.
S: ...I'm afraid to ask here, but what did you have in mind?
G: A fish from your homeworld, this "Earth" you come from. I read about it on the extranet.
S: That doesn't sound too bad... which one?
G: It's called a "Great White."

Modifié par Kieve KRS, 14 mars 2011 - 05:53 .

[jamesp81]

Kieve KRS wrote...

Legion: Solus-Professor, we have a query.
Mordin: Questions from synthetic construct? Am biological expert. Medical expertise, cellular development. Not tech expert, minimal functional knowledge of synthetic life. Unlikely to-
L: *interrupts with polite "cough"*
M: Apologies. What inquiry? Ask.
L: We wished to know why Solus-Professor does not engage this unit in conversation. The other crew members have frequently voiced queries or discussion about the Geth.
M: Hm. As I said, biology expert. Geth present intriguing sociological structure, group consciousness, high intellect. No biology to speak of. Have not encountered Geth with interest in culture or development, only witness to destructive potential. No offense.
L: You do not speak to us because you do not believe we are worth speaking to?
M: Phrased it poorly. Only Geth encountered so far have been hostile. What you call Heretics. Difficult to analyze culture while dodging pulse fire. Present company excluded of course.
L: *glances at rifle hole* ...We understand your perspective.

_______________________

Shepard: Okay Legion, give. Why did you really use my old armor for self-repair?
L: ...No data available?
S: Not buying it Legion. You told me you build consensus - I know one of those 1,200 Geth programs must have a reason for it.
L: This platform only has 1,183 active programs, Shepard-Commander.
S: Don't try to change the subject, Legion...
*pause*
L: ...It was deemed necessary to recover what remained of you. When we arrived at the wreckage of the first Normandy, you were deceased. Our mission to contact you had failed. We felt... disappointment.
S: So you used it as some kind of memorial?
L: We were unaware of your body's recovery, or of Cerberus efforts to resurrect you. 735 processes concluded this was the best way to preserve what was left.
S: I wasn't aware Geth could feel sentimental.
L: Addendum: There was a hole, Shepard-Commander.
S: *Shep gives a slow smile and shakes his(/her) head* Go down to the engines and see if Tali can patch you up. There's no reason you should still be wandering around with a hole through your chest cavity.
L: We question your judgement. Creator Tali'Zorah does not trust Geth. She aided Creator tests by sending our remains to her people.
S: You're part of the team, Legion, she's not going to break you. And I can't think of anyone more qualified for reconstructing a Geth platform, can you?
EDI: I would have no difficulty obtaining the knowledge, Shepard, but I lack the onboard systems to perform tasks of manual labor.
L: Very well. We will allow Creator Tali'Zorah to perform repair functions on this platform.
S: Glad to hear it. EDI, keep an eye on their progress. If you have any upgrade suggestions, let Tali know.
EDI: Shepard, are you suggesting that Tali and I assist in making a Geth platform more dangerous?
L: We serve Shepard-Commander. We are not a danger to this crew.
S: Don't worry EDI. That's why we keep Grunt around.
EDI: Very well, Shepard.

_______________________

Grunt: Shepard.
S: Something on your mind, Grunt?
G: I talked to Chambers yesterday. She said you have a tank of water in your cabin, with fish.
S: Yeah, she feeds them for me occasionally so they don't go belly-up while we're on a mission. Why?
G: On Tuchanka, many Krogan had pet varren. I think I would like a pet too.
S: Pets are a big responsibility, Grunt. And I'm not sure how Mordin would feel about a varren on board - he's treated a few cases of scale-itch already.
G: Your fish gave me the idea - we already have my tank here. I want a fish too.
S: Maybe that's doable, then. Next time we pass by Illium, we'll stop in and have a look.
G: No need. Your fish are weak, anyway. Soft. Good for eating, but not useful for keeping.
S: ...I'm afraid to ask here, but what did you have in mind?
G: A fish from your homeworld, this "Earth" you come from. I read about it on the extranet.
S: That doesn't sound too bad... which one?
G: It's called a "Great White."

Well done, especially on Grunt.  That's exactly something that crazy assed Krogan would want.

[ADLegend21]

Jacob:are you sure about this?
Dr. Chakwas: yes, it would mean alot to me.
Zaeed: what are you scared Taylor? sack up and do it.
Jacob: fine, don't say I didn't warn you *picks up Zaeed with biotics and throws him from the mess hall to the main battery, denting the door.*
Zaeed:......That was bloody brilliant! Do it again!
Chakwas: ah, just like old times. Thank you Jacob.
Jacob: no problem Doc.

[Interactive Civilian]

Sajuro wrote...

~snip~
Shepard: Not a problem, because in that shuttle I have the galaxy's top badasses, and jacob,

~snip~

Shepard: Hey Kasumi.
Kasumi: Hey Shep.
Shepard: Want to hear an interesting story about Jacob?
Kasumi: -leans forward- ?
Shepard: So would I
Kasumi: .....

I've actually come to like Jacob, but DAAAAAAAMMMMNNNN! That's FUNNY!

[Destroy Raiden_]

Grunt: Shepard.
S: Something on your mind, Grunt?
G: I talked to Chambers yesterday. She said you have a tank of water in your cabin, with fish.
S: Yeah, she feeds them for me occasionally so they don't go belly-up while we're on a mission. Why?
G: On Tuchanka, many Krogan had pet varren. I think I would like a pet too.
S: Pets are a big responsibility, Grunt. And I'm not sure how Mordin would feel about a varren on board - he's treated a few cases of scale-itch already.
G: Your fish gave me the idea - we already have my tank here. I want a fish too.
S: Maybe that's doable, then. Next time we pass by Illium, we'll stop in and have a look.
G: No need. Your fish are weak, anyway. Soft. Good for eating, but not useful for keeping.
S: ...I'm afraid to ask here, but what did you have in mind?
G: A fish from your homeworld, this "Earth" you come from. I read about it on the extranet.
S: That doesn't sound too bad... which one?
G: It's called a "Great White."


^ I thought he'd be a shark man...er Krogan

[zvbxrpl]

Dean_the_Young wrote...
*Snip Three Shepards*

Wow.  That was awesome.
EDIT UPON READING MORE THREAD:  Your TIM is incredibly well-written.  I would love to see him getting that mastermind-ish in game.

Modifié par zvbxrpl, 15 mars 2011 - 05:09 .

[Akizora]

Tali: I saw you and Shepard in engineering.
Miranda: It's not nice spying on people you know.
Tali: It was on my console, during working hours..For hours.
Miranda: Wait, you watched us for hours?
Tali: Ye-y-No, of course not..W-why would I-I do that?

Grunt: I have these images in my head, left by Okeer. I don't know what they mean, naked Asari. Why would Okeer show me naked Asarii? I already know where to shoot them or how to break their bones.
Kasumi: I don't think that was the point.
Grunt: When will I ever encounter naked Asaril? It's not like Asari go into combat naked.
Kasumi: Aww.
Grunt: Do they?
Kasumi: So sweet and innocent, it's hard to believe you could crush my skull with your bare hands.

Garrus: So Thane, did you ever kill anyone on the Citadel while I was working there? There were a lot of unsolved murders.
Thane: Your inability to solve murders does not mean I have commited one.
Garrus: So is that a yes?
Thane: Yes.

Legion: Why are you staring at us Tali'Zorah?
Tali: I'm just making sure you don't try anything.
Legion: If we don't try we could not walk, talk or shoot.
Tali: Now there's an idea.
Legion: We would be inaminate and unable to communicate or interact with the world.
Tali: Keep going.
Legion: We prefer to leave that to the Quarians.

Jacob: So you must have seen a lot of combat throughout your 400 years as a Justicar?
Samara: Yes.
Jacob: I've done a lot of things I regret, I assume you must have done a lot more things you regret.
Samara : Yes.
Jacob: Like what?
Samara: Engaging in this conversation with you is one.

[A2N2T]

In Jack's little hidey-hole.

Miranda: Jack, why did you ask me to... (Miranda sees Jack lying on her bed, naked) What is this all about?
Jack: Listen Cheerleader, I want you and I to start our relationship over again. This time on a much better note.
Miranda: Since when did you care about getting along with me?
Jack: Since Shep- Since we destroyed the Collector's base.
Miranda: So you want to have make-up sex with me?
Jack: Basically, yah. So are we going to do this **** or am I going to have still be calling a Cerberus Cheerleading ****?
Miranda: If it'll make you more bearable, then I'm for it.
Jack: Good. Now come over here and let me see what the fuss about your ass is all about.
(Miranda disrobes. Enter Shepard)
Shepard: What the Hell is going on here?
Jack: Make-up sex. Haven't you ever looked for this kind of **** on the extranet?
Shepard: Well, Joker has shown me a few sites and-
Jack: I really don't want to hear about the crippled jerks it to.
Shepard: Neither did I... Mind if I join?
Miranda: What?
Jack: Sure.
Miranda: What?
Jack: Calm down Cheerleader. It's nothing I haven't done before.
Miranda: That doesn't really surprise me.
Shepard: OK you two, that's enough. Stop arguing before I lose interest.
Jack: Whatever Shepard. Come on.
(A few hours later.)
Shepard: Jack, I need to thank you for helping me out with that.
Jack: Shepard, like I said: I owe you. If you ever need help with your little sexual fantasies, just ask me and they'll happen.
Shepard: Right. I should go.

[Dean_the_Young]

zvbxrpl wrote...

Dean_the_Young wrote...
*Snip Three Shepards*

Wow. That was awesome.
EDIT UPON READING MORE THREAD: Your TIM is incredibly well-written. I would love to see him getting that mastermind-ish in game.

Thank ye kindly.

In my view, TIM already is mastermindish... but just less explicitly so. The times we do see glimpses on it, people often disregard or even lack to catch the chain of events. The... mediocre quality of writing of the novels doesn't exactly add to the ME2 experience either.

For all that there's a lot of talk about 'advancing human interests,' there very rarely any discussion about how that would be done. What we do see, by nature of narrative requirements (missions we see need danger, so Cerberus projects we have missions about can't be controlled and safe, which means we don't see non-dangerous projects) are often the 'uglier' projects, but there's absolutely no rational basis to presume that's all there is too Cerberus, or the only pies TIM has a finger into.

One reason that the Shadow Broker files were interesting: they gave limited insight into a number of other things that we the player never would have known otherwise because they weren't blatantly obvious. It all just showed how much Cerberus can do without being noticed... and how much more they could be doing in other respects. Any organization that can drug or murder incredibly influential public figures with high security certainly isn't going to be limited to only moving secretly against those sorts.


Frankly, and I'm amazed the writers haven't made the connection, but Cerberus seems like one of the most plausible sources for the creation of medigel, the development of which would have been entirely illegal by Council law. It's an entire technology with a 'results before legality' basis of acceptance, which is just so Cerberus.

[Kieve KRS]

(For those that commented - thank you. Was a little hesitant jumping in after 38 pages, didn't want to repeat a gag someone else used already. @Destroy Raiden: Was going by his search-history file in the LotSB databases. If cloning a raptor or T-rex back to life was an option, I'm sure he'd go for that, too. And on that note...)

_______________________

Wrex: Shepard.
Shepard: Wrex.
Wrex: Shepard.
Shepard: Rex.
T-rex: Shepard.
Ratch: Looks like Rex finally found someone to follow around!

_______________________

Harbinger: HUMAN, YOU HAVE CHANGED NOTHING. WE WILL FIND ANOTHER WAY.
Shepard: Stuff it, Harby, your Collectors are all dead - there's no one left to possess.
Legion: WE ARE ASSUMING DIRECT CON-... Access denied.
Harbinger: DAMN IT!
Legion: Altered programs are restored from archives, new installations are deleted.
Joker: Yeah, go pout. We win.
Harbinger: <_<

[Sajuro]

ADLegend21 wrote...

Jacob:are you sure about this?
Dr. Chakwas: yes, it would mean alot to me.
Zaeed: what are you scared Taylor? sack up and do it.
Jacob: fine, don't say I didn't warn you *picks up Zaeed with biotics and throws him from the mess hall to the main battery, denting the door.*
Zaeed:......That was bloody brilliant! Do it again!
Chakwas: ah, just like old times. Thank you Jacob.
Jacob: no problem Doc.

Chakwas: Why did you leave Jacob with the nuke?
Shepard: ah, just like old times.

[Destroy Raiden_]

Legion: Why are you staring at us Tali'Zorah?
Tali: I'm just making sure you don't try anything.
Legion: If we don't try we could not walk, talk or shoot.
Tali: Now there's an idea.
Legion: We would be inaminate and unable to communicate or interact with the world.
Tali: Keep going.
Legion: We prefer to leave that to the Quarians.

Jacob: So you must have seen a lot of combat throughout your 400 years as a Justicar?
Samara: Yes.
Jacob: I've done a lot of things I regret, I assume you must have done a lot more things you regret.
Samara : Yes.
Jacob: Like what?
Samara: Engaging in this conversation with you is one.


^ BW should include these.

[Capt_Flashheart]

I posted this on the Tali thread in response to a comment about how Tali's "assets" are out of proportion in a particular fan art. The dialogue revolves around Samara getting jealous over Tali's boobs being bigger than hers.
Samara: Your breasts are more substantial than my own.
Tali: Pardon me Samara?
Samara: Do not be concerned. I shall return to my meditations while I try to suppress my new found feelings of inadequacy...............(starts crying)... IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!
Tali: Ummm

[Dean_the_Young]

Quick little call for help for someone willing to do a little photo shop. I'm too helpless/lazy/uneducated to do it myself.

Anyone interested in helping little old me? It's really just finding and clipping a few TIM photos and inserting an image onto a data pad he holds at one point.

[sporeian]

Shepard: 304942... those douche bags stole my social security INFO!

[Destroy Raiden_]

^ Garrus: You should've got life lock like me

[lovgreno]

Challenge: FemShep and MaleShep are siblings and are both on the Normandy.

MaleShep: Hey Kasumi, a drink?
Kasumi: No thanks. I'll take some gossip though!
S: Right. You know, I just realised why Garrus never finishes his calibrations. It's because he is calibrating my sister.
K: Old news. Figures that you would be the last one to know.
S: Hmmm... *Sips on a drink*
K: Besides you shouldn't talk considering how much time you spend cleaning Talis engine.
S: I should go.

[Sajuro]

-Shepard is fighting some batarian terrorists and is asking for air support-

Shepard: Joker, we need to cover at-

Kai Leng: Oli oli oli oooooooooooooooooo

Shepard: Who the hell was that?

Joker: I don't know, he must have jacked into our frequency.

-sounds of heavy fire-

Shepard: Joker, we're pinned down, Tali's enviro suit was punctured and I don't know how long the-

Kai Leng: Oli oli ooooo

Shepard: Who the hell is doing that!

Kai Leng: Oli Oli!

Shepard: Stop doing that!

Kai Leng: Oli!

Shepard: Hey!

Kai Leng: Oli O!

Joker: I can't get a lock on your coordinates Shepard, there must be some jamming going.

-Tali screaming in pain-

Joker: What the hell is going on down there?

Kai Leng: Oli ooooooooooooooo!

Joker: Hey!

Kai Leng; Oli Oli

Shepard: They're bringing out a Cain!

Joker: Jesus Shepard get out of-

Kai Leng: Oli Oli Oli oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

-critical mission failure-