1554 réponses à ce sujet

[cast2007]

Challenge: Shepard and the Normandy crew discover Jacob's past as the Old Spice Guy.

[sporeian]

Sajuro wrote...

-Shepard is fighting some batarian terrorists and is asking for air support-

Shepard: Joker, we need to cover at-

Kai Leng: Oli oli oli oooooooooooooooooo

Shepard: Who the hell was that?

Joker: I don't know, he must have jacked into our frequency.

-sounds of heavy fire-

Shepard: Joker, we're pinned down, Tali's enviro suit was punctured and I don't know how long the-

Kai Leng: Oli oli ooooo

Shepard: Who the hell is doing that!

Kai Leng: Oli Oli!

Shepard: Stop doing that!

Kai Leng: Oli!

Shepard: Hey!

Kai Leng: Oli O!

Joker: I can't get a lock on your coordinates Shepard, there must be some jamming going.

-Tali screaming in pain-

Joker: What the hell is going on down there?

Kai Leng: Oli ooooooooooooooo!

Joker: Hey!

Kai Leng; Oli Oli

Shepard: They're bringing out a Cain!

Joker: Jesus Shepard get out of-

Kai Leng: Oli Oli Oli oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

-critical mission failure-

Shepard: COLLECTOR BATTLE!

[Sajuro]

Tim: Kai Leng: Why exactly did surveillence see you on Omega, going home with an Asari.

Kai Leng:.... I was pumping her... for information

Tim: Background checks have revealed that she is a stripper at Afterlife, what information would she have.

Kai Leng: -looks to Legion who gives thumbs up- um, I mean there was hole.

[Made Nightwing]

cast2007 wrote...

Challenge: Shepard and the Normandy crew discover Jacob's past as the Old Spice Guy.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

*Jacob is working in the armoury. FemShepard enters.*

FemShepard: Jacob, I've been getting some very...disturbing reports about you wondering about Deck Three  wearing nothing but a towel. Namely, all the women on the ship have been throwing themselves at you. Everyone from Tali to Chakwas. Would you like to explain?

Jacob: What's to explain? Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. Look down, back up. Where are you?

*Jacob has changed into casual attire. His abs are displayed in all their glory. They are on a sky yacht on the oceans of Thessia*

FemShep: What the hell?

J: You're on a boat, with the man your man can smell like! What's in your hands?

FS: I don't even know....

J: I have it, it's all three of the heavy weapons. The Widow, the Revenant, the Claymore. And you don't even have to make a choice, you get them all. Look again.

FS: Jacob, if you don't stop this instant....

J: The weapons are now an M-920 Cain with infinite ammunition. Anything is possible when your man stops using hater scented bodywash and uses Old Spice.

*The scene changes back to the armoury.*

J: I'm on a horse.

*Jacob and the horse gallop out of the Normandy and on to the Citadel where females of all species begin chasing him. He turns and gives a ridiculously handsome smile to the camera as a tuneful whistle plays*

[Ingehira]

Made Nightwing wrote...

cast2007 wrote...

Absolute and epic win.

I can see/hear my Shepard, even the Paragon, saying those lines. VERY well done. It's a good thing I can giggle quietly.

Modifié par Ingehira, 16 mars 2011 - 07:04 .

[Kieve KRS]

Kasumi: Shepard, did you see today's news?
Shepard: Not yet. I've been helping Tali with some... uh, engine repair. What's up?
Kasumi: Well, that Sorenson ship made it out safe, but they lost their daughter Kristal. It's such a shame, I wish there'd been something we could have done. Like we did with the MSV Broken Arrow.
Shepard: Wait, are you trying to tell me the Sorenson ship was attacked by Geth?
Kasumi: What? No, not at all. It was just a malfunction. The Sorenson girl was lost during EVA repairing it.
Shepard: So you're suggesting one of us should have fallen into the atmosphere instead?
Kasumi: Of course not!
Shepard: Been there, done that, got the cybernetic implants. One time was good enough, thanks.
Rupert: (from the galley) This is why I don't watch the news. It's always so depressing! Galaxy gives us enough of our own problems, what with the Collectors, Geth attacks, and our Commander dragging us all around the Terminus looking for firefights!
Shepard: Rupert, when have I ever asked you to shoot something?
Legion: Our records indicate it has been fifteen hours, thirty-two minutes since your last request, Shepard-Commander.
Kasumi: You'd send the ship's cook into a fight, Shep?
Shepard: Of course not!
Legion: Shepard-Commander did not request that Gardener engage in active combat. Our logs state only that Shepard-Commander wished for Gardener to fire upon him.
Shepard: Ugh. Legion, when a human says "just shoot me," it's not actually a request to be shot.
Legion: We do not understand. Why would you issue an order you expect your crew to intentionally disobey?
Kasumi: *giggle*

[Dean_the_Young]

Here's a challenge.

There's a reason Jacob's so boring: he tries to be. Has to be. It's part of his cover, you see.

Because, in truth?

Jacob is the most interesting man in the world.

[betd2]

nah Zaeed is secretly the most interesting man in the world. Jacob's just the old spice guy.

[ADLegend21]

Made Nightwing wrote...

cast2007 wrote...

Challenge: Shepard and the Normandy crew discover Jacob's past as the Old Spice Guy.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

*Jacob is working in the armoury. FemShepard enters.*

FemShepard: Jacob, I've been getting some very...disturbing reports about you wondering about Deck Three  wearing nothing but a towel. Namely, all the women on the ship have been throwing themselves at you. Everyone from Tali to Chakwas. Would you like to explain?

Jacob: What's to explain? Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. Look down, back up. Where are you?

*Jacob has changed into casual attire. His abs are displayed in all their glory. They are on a sky yacht on the oceans of Thessia*

FemShep: What the hell?

J: You're on a boat, with the man your man can smell like! What's in your hands?

FS: I don't even know....

J: I have it, it's all three of the heavy weapons. The Widow, the Revenant, the Claymore. And you don't even have to make a choice, you get them all. Look again.

FS: Jacob, if you don't stop this instant....

J: The weapons are now an M-920 Cain with infinite ammunition. Anything is possible when your man stops using hater scented bodywash and uses Old Spice.

*The scene changes back to the armoury.*

J: I'm on a horse.

*Jacob and the horse gallop out of the Normandy and on to the Citadel where females of all species begin chasing him. He turns and gives a ridiculously handsome smile to the camera as a tuneful whistle plays*

[ADLegend21]

Dean_the_Young wrote...

Here's a challenge.

There's a reason Jacob's so boring: he tries to be. Has to be. It's part of his cover, you see.

Because, in truth?

Jacob is the most interesting man in the world.

Challenge ACCEPTED

FShep: hey Jacob.
Jacob: Commander, need anything?
Liara: Hell Mr. Taylor.
Jacob: Hey Liara, how's being the Shadow Broker.
Liara: it's been...interesting....particularly when looking up your file.
Jacob:....what do you mean?
Shep: don't play coy Jacob, I read your file, you play like you're just some normal guy unlike the rest of the squad, but you've got something you're hiding from me.
Jacob: I don't know what you're talking about *turns back to station*
Liara: does the name "Jacob the great" mean anything to you?
Jacob:...where'd you hear that?
Liara: I don't remember, you tell me.
Jacob: fine....you know how Garrus had a team on Omega? Well I didn't need a team. I landed on a planet for shore leave and it turned out a gang war was going on. I stepped it with nothing but a half loaded pistol and shotgun. to quote Zaeed I was the only one who made it out alive.
Shep:...
Liara: that's not all.
Jacob: yeah, they called for backup, and I threw the corpses at the ships and they all crashed. I got free meals for the rest of my stay and all the women I could look at. Best shore elave of my life.
Shep:....Liara, you should go *pushes Liara out of the armory and pounces on Jacob like a tiger*

[ADLegend21]

New Challenge: Legion tries out flirting with all the female crew memebers and it works on one of them.

aaaannndd.....GO!

[jamesp81]

ADLegend21 wrote...

New Challenge: Legion tries out flirting with all the female crew memebers and it works on one of them.

aaaannndd.....GO!

Legion: (enters Kasumi's room) Kasumi-Infiltrator, may we speak with you?
Kasumi: What is it Legion?
Legion: We have reached consensus on a question.  We would humbly request Kasumi-Infiltrator would meet us and speak together during your next refueling.
Kasumi: My next refueling?  Oh!  You mean dinner.  Wait, Legion, are you asking me out on a date?
Legion: (head flaps drop) We did not mean to offend Kasumi-Infiltrator.  We will leave.
Kasumi: (throws arms around Legion) Aww, you're so cute when you're embarassed.  Yes, we can have dinner.  It will be fun!  Hey, Legion, what happened to your arm?  It looks like you took a shotgun blast!
Legion: Before coming to speak with Kasumi-Infiltrator, we had reached consensus to ask Tali-Creator to share refueling time with us.  She.....did not reach the same consensus we did.

[Commander_Adept]

I don't see why not every dialogue including Shepard doesn't have "I should go" at the end.

[ADLegend21]

jamesp81 wrote...

ADLegend21 wrote...

New Challenge: Legion tries out flirting with all the female crew memebers and it works on one of them.

aaaannndd.....GO!

Legion: (enters Kasumi's room) Kasumi-Infiltrator, may we speak with you?
Kasumi: What is it Legion?
Legion: We have reached consensus on a question.  We would humbly request Kasumi-Infiltrator would meet us and speak together during your next refueling.
Kasumi: My next refueling?  Oh!  You mean dinner.  Wait, Legion, are you asking me out on a date?
Legion: (head flaps drop) We did not mean to offend Kasumi-Infiltrator.  We will leave.
Kasumi: (throws arms around Legion) Aww, you're so cute when you're embarassed.  Yes, we can have dinner.  It will be fun!  Hey, Legion, what happened to your arm?  It looks like you took a shotgun blast!
Legion: Before coming to speak with Kasumi-Infiltrator, we had reached consensus to ask Tali-Creator to share refueling time with us.  She.....did not reach the same consensus we did.

bahahahahaha loved it.

[jamesp81]

ADLegend21 wrote...

jamesp81 wrote...

ADLegend21 wrote...

New Challenge: Legion tries out flirting with all the female crew memebers and it works on one of them.

aaaannndd.....GO!

Legion: (enters Kasumi's room) Kasumi-Infiltrator, may we speak with you?
Kasumi: What is it Legion?
Legion: We have reached consensus on a question.  We would humbly request Kasumi-Infiltrator would meet us and speak together during your next refueling.
Kasumi: My next refueling?  Oh!  You mean dinner.  Wait, Legion, are you asking me out on a date?
Legion: (head flaps drop) We did not mean to offend Kasumi-Infiltrator.  We will leave.
Kasumi: (throws arms around Legion) Aww, you're so cute when you're embarassed.  Yes, we can have dinner.  It will be fun!  Hey, Legion, what happened to your arm?  It looks like you took a shotgun blast!
Legion: Before coming to speak with Kasumi-Infiltrator, we had reached consensus to ask Tali-Creator to share refueling time with us.  She.....did not reach the same consensus we did.

bahahahahaha loved it.

Glad you liked it.  In all honesty, I didn't think it was any good at all.  I just wanted to respond to a challenge

[zvbxrpl]

An imagined conversation after the failed attempt at romancing Samara:

Samara: I believe I should give you more of an explanation for what happened earlier, Shepard. A justicar must be impartial, you see. If I were to care strongly for someone, in any way, it would jeopardize that aim.

Shepard: You don't trust me to do the right thing?

Samara: Trust is not a principle on which a justicar operates.

Shepard: Fair enough. I haven't always kept my hands clean, anyway.

Samara: I am already ignoring your past. This is a problem. I can't allow myself to turn a blind eye to somebody's wrongdoings simply because love them. I must be prepared to punish anyone at any time.

Shepard: You're talking about Morinth as well as me, aren't you?

Samara: Among others, yes.

Shepard: Look, if you want to talk about it, I'll listen.

Samara: You are a good friend to me, Shepard. That may already be too much.

[Kieve KRS]

jamesp81 wrote...

Legion: (enters Kasumi's room) Kasumi-Infiltrator, may we speak with you?
Kasumi: What is it Legion?
Legion: We have reached consensus on a question.  We would humbly request Kasumi-Infiltrator would meet us and speak together during your next refueling.
Kasumi: My next refueling?  Oh!  You mean dinner.  Wait, Legion, are you asking me out on a date?
Legion: (head flaps drop) We did not mean to offend Kasumi-Infiltrator.  We will leave.
Kasumi: (throws arms around Legion) Aww, you're so cute when you're embarassed.  Yes, we can have dinner.  It will be fun!  Hey, Legion, what happened to your arm?  It looks like you took a shotgun blast!
Legion: Before coming to speak with Kasumi-Infiltrator, we had reached consensus to ask Tali-Creator to share refueling time with us.  She.....did not reach the same consensus we did.

Hehe... <3 Legion.

[Made Nightwing]

Zaeed Massani is clearly the most interesting man in the world. I wrote a whole fanfic explaining why How do we make links to our profiles in our sigs?

[A2N2T]

Challenge!!: A conversation between Shepard and his/her LI after their love scene.

[Harmless Crunch]

A2N2T wrote...

Challenge!!: A conversation between Shepard and his/her LI after their love scene.

Miranda:Hmm Shepard that was good
Shep:Well I'm glad you enjoyed my talent
Miranda:*Giggles*
Legion:We deeply enjoyed it too Commander
Miri and Shep:

[Shadow_Soul]

This thread is still so much win!
------
FemShep: Hey, Garrus, I wanted to ask you, what happens if we die?
Garrus: Don't know, knowing you, though, we won't die.
FemShep: Maybe, I know this is going to mean death for some of the team...If we make it out alive, all of us, I'm taking you all to Omega to get drunk *laughs* Heh, let's just see what happens.
Garrus: Your celebration for everything *shakes head* lots of liquor.
FemShep: You arguing with my ways, Vakarian?
Garrus: No, commander.
FemShep: Good, let's get ready for the fight. I promise you that if we make it out of this *pause* no, when we make it out of this, alive, I owe you for being there for me. Having my back and being my friend, thanks.
Garrus: It's no problem, Shepard.
*FemShep walks off*

[somecthemes]

I assume I've laid enough comedic mediocrity to submit a challenge, thus:
"Tali and Shep talk, with Kelly or have a frank discussion, about a jarring attempt at spanking or other odd fetish during their romance scene"
Lots of good material there, or:
"Grunt admits to Samara is his rather Krogan way that he's interested in one of her kids, one of the "noble" ones currently sequestered in a nunnery or such."
Loving all the stories and bit banter, especially digged Dean's drunken Sheppard rant about the non-sexiness of sexy asexual aliens. Almost got nailed at work, for giggling uncontrollably, when I was supposed to be reviewing stress-gauge datasets.

[Akizora]

Tali: So you still don't have any windows on your ships to see incoming vessels?
Legion: Windows are a structural weakness.
Tali: You never thought about installing cameras?
Legion: Thank you Tali'Zorah, we had not considered this.
Tali: Wait, I didn't mean to...Damn it.

[jamesp81]

somecthemes wrote...

I assume I've laid enough comedic mediocrity to submit a challenge, thus:
"Tali and Shep talk, with Kelly or have a frank discussion, about a jarring attempt at spanking or other odd fetish during their romance scene"
Lots of good material there, or:
"Grunt admits to Samara is his rather Krogan way that he's interested in one of her kids, one of the "noble" ones currently sequestered in a nunnery or such."
Loving all the stories and bit banter, especially digged Dean's drunken Sheppard rant about the non-sexiness of sexy asexual aliens. Almost got nailed at work, for giggling uncontrollably, when I was supposed to be reviewing stress-gauge datasets.

Kelly (over shipwide intercom): Commander Shepard, please come to the CIC.
Shepard: (Exits elevator): What is it Kelly?  Oh, hi Tali.
Tali (pulls Kelly away from her console towards Shepard): No Kelly, we should not talk about this here!
Kelly: Of course we should, it's important!  It's one of those things that relationship partners should work out.
Shepard: Ahh.  Is Kelly wanting to do a relationship counseling session again?
Tali (grimacing): You have no idea.
Kelly: Tali was asking about human mating practices.  She was describing to me something she saw in a vid--
Shepard: A vid?  You mean....
Kelly: Yes.  I think it was called Naughty Schoolgirls 13.  Sounds interesting, I might have to go buy--
Tali: (Epic facepalm)
Kelly: Yes, well anyway.  Tali was wondering if the human fetish with spanking was normal and if it was something you were into.
Shepard: Some days, it doesn't pay to get out of bed.
Kelly: Commander, it's nothing to be embarassed about--
Shepard: Kelly.
Kelly: I'm serious.  People should be open to exploring their sexuality to learn what they like and don't like.  For instance, this one time when I was on Omega--
Tali and Shepard in stereo: KELLY!
Kelly: Right.  In any case, it's important for you to talk this out with Tali.  You're relationship will be more rewarding if you both know what the other likes and dislikes.
Shepard (stalks up to galaxy map): Dammit Kelly, we're not talking about this here.  I AM NOT GOING TO DISCUSS WHETHER OR NOT I GET HOT AT THE IDEA OF SPANKING TALI.
Kelly:  Uhh, Commander......I forgot to turn off the shipwide intercom.
Joker (from cockpit): WOOOHOOOO!! Commander, that's AWESOME!  I knew I liked you for some reason.  Oh yeah, tell Kelly she can borrow my copy of Naughty School Girls 13 any time she wants.
Rest of crew: (starts clapping and catcalling)
Shepard: You all are fired.  All of you.

Modifié par jamesp81, 17 mars 2011 - 09:18 .

[etonesmith1]

(Shep, in the ships mess, approaches Legion, who is spooning protein paste into a tube leading into his chest cavity.)
Shep: Legion, what are you doing?
Legion: Shepard-Commander, we have reached concensus that, while trying to observe organinc behavior in the mess, the members of the crew where uncomfortable with me sitting here. Tali'zorah-Creater even remarked that it "creeped her out"
Shep: Okay but....
Legion: We therefore determined that it would be better if we, too, were refueling while making our observations. we therefore designed and created a device to convert orgainic protien paste into energy using bacteria to break it down into component parts.
Shep: but wouldn't that produce methane as a ...AH! Legion! that smell.....
Legion: Geth do not Flatulate.
(load ripping noise)
Legion: Geth do not intentionally Flatulate

Modifié par etonesmith1, 17 mars 2011 - 10:35 .