1554 réponses à ce sujet

[Dave666]

Nice one James, made me laugh, a lot!

[Orion1836]

Ice Cold J wrote...

That Yellow Bastard wrote...

Wrex: So tell me, Thane, who would win in a fight between you and Shepard?

Thane: I certainly hope it does not come to that. There are other ways to solve problems than a fight. I don't think it will come to the point me and Shepard have to fight.

Zaeed: I'd kill you all with my bare hands if it came to that.

Wrex: Please, killing you would be as simple as wringing the neck of a runt varren with an attitude problem.

Zaeed: You want me to kick your ass?

Wrex: I want you to try.

Excellence.

Indeed, though I think Zaeed would be the kind of guy to take him up on that. I imagine it'd go something like this:

Wrex: I want you to try.

Zaeed: *thinks* Aw'ight Krogan, I'm game. Pick a time and place. I'd start shooting here, but we're on a mission and I think Shepard would kill us himself before we really got into it.

Wrex pauses, genuinely surprised.

Wrex: You're not half bad, human. Very well, when this is all over we'll pick a nice deserted rock and have at it.

Zaeed: Sounds like a plan to me.

[Ingehira]

"Grunt admits to Samara is his rather Krogan way that he's interested in one of her kids, one of the "noble" ones currently sequestered in a nunnery or such."

G: Samara.
S: Grunt. I am surprised to see you. You rarely leave the cargo hold.
G: I am here to speak of your offspring.
S: Morinth?
G: No, the ones who aren't crazy and dead.
S: *impressive biotic shield* I would reconsider your choice of words.
G: Bah.

[Homebound]

*Tali holding Sock puppets resembling Garrus and Sheploo*

Tali: (imitating Shepard) Hey Garrus, got a minute?
Tali: (imitating Garrus) Can it wait for a bit? Im calibrating.
Tali: (imitating Shepard) Ive had it with your snide insinuations.
*Throws Garrus sock puppet against the wall with the fury of a thousand suns*
Garrus: *ahem*
Tali: O_o

¯\\(°_o)/¯

[A2N2T]

On the Citadel near the club.

Garrus: Commander, isn't that the guy who asked you to help out the Reds?
Shepard: Yah, that's him.
Garrus: I can't believe that you actually helped them.
Shepard: Hey, once a Red, always a Red. If they need my help, I'll help them. I wouldn't have gotten off of Earth if not for the Reds.
Garrus: So, are you going to talk with him?
Shepard: Not unless I have to.
(The Red accosts an Asari and ends up being bioticly tossed against a wall.)
Garrus: Guess you have to.
Shepard: What the Hell were you thinking?
Red: Shepard? ****. How did you find me?
Shepard: A good memory. What's wrong with you?
Red: Wait, you're not killing me...
Shepard: Why would I?
Red: Well, I guess since you don't know... I'm on the run right now. Crossed the wrong people. They want to kill me. You know how it is.
Garrus: Come on Shepard, let's leave him. He's brought whatever onto himself.
Shepard: Garrus, what did I just tell you? (To the Red) Who's after you?
Red: Well, you remember Don Casio?
Shepard: Of course I do. He was my "boss" back on Earth. Wait, he's after you?
Red: Yah. He is.
Shepard: So does that mean...
Red: Yah. They're all after me. (Shepard pulls out his pistol and shoots the Red in the head. Everyone stops what they're doing and stares at Shepard.)
Shepard: Everyone remain calm! I am a Specter, and that man was a dangerous fugitive who I have been after.
Garrus: Shepard, why?
Shepard: You didn't see ****, right?
Garrus: Right?
Shepard: As I said: if the Reds need help, I help. (To the Red's corpse) ****. (To Garrus) We should go.

[Shadow_Soul]

Challenge: FemShep has the crew watch Red Vs. Blue

[ADLegend21]

Shadow_Soul wrote...

Challenge: FemShep has the crew watch Red Vs. Blue

Challenge ACCEPTED

[red vs blue spoilers incoming]

Tali: So Shepard, if we were RvB you'd be Tex, since you could kick everyone's ass without breaking a sweat.
Garrus: no she's church because she died and came back to life.
Miranda: but Church was never dead, he was an AI ina robotic body. If anything She's sarge because she's running a cilvilian ship like a military oe and giving us impossible orders everyday.
Jacob: sounds like someone wants be treated like Griff.
Kasumi: Don't forget simmins, if there was a simmins on this ship it's Garrus.
Garrus: what's that suppsoed to mean?
Grunt: it means you've got your mandables sofar up battlemasters ass that they're turning brown.
Garrus:..... Well Jacob's like Donut, ebcause no one likes him.
Jacob: yeah well at least I'm not Shepard's ****. Plus I'm Tucker, sincehe's also theonly black guy for miles around.
Kasumi: You can be my tucker anytime Jay.
Jacob: bow chicka wow wow.
Tali: wait, so then who's caboose?

*Everyone stares at Kelly*
Kelly: No, don't even go there, I'm Sheila, I might be sweet and kind, but I know all your dirty secrets and can crush you like a bug if neccessary.
Everyone: *agrees*
Garrus: So who's caboose, we need a Caboose.
Conrad Verner: Hey guys!
Everyone: Hey Caboose.

[Digoothe]

Haha nice one Legend.

[Hk47sPappy]

ADLegend21 wrote...

Femshep: Hello gentlemen, look at your woman. gentlemen: *looks at their woman* 
FShep: now back to me, now back to your woman now back to me! sadly, she isn't me but, she could sort of kick ass like me, if she chooses the female option when creating a new charater. she can change my face to whatever she thinks is pretty and then we go kill people in the name of saving the galaxy and sometimes for teh lulz. look down, now back up, where are you? on a spaceship filled with hot biotics and aliens. what's that in your hand? it's a controller (mouse for PC players) look up, now back to your hand,it's my game. you'll replay it several times in the coming year. anything is possible when you play femshep. I'm voiced by Jennifer Hale *old spice whistle* 

Made this into a video

Modifié par Hk47sPappy, 20 mars 2011 - 04:08 .

[Sandbox47]

The red-blue thing lost me...

Shep: Can I help you, Jacob?
Jacob: Kasumi is stalking me.
Shep: Is that right?
Invisible voice: I do not!
Jacob & Shep: O_O
*Kasumi uncloacks*
Kasumi: I simply happen to be wherever you are at the same time. And now I am leaving because there is nothing of interest here. *leaves*
Jacob: Sooo... yeah.
Shep: I hear that Joker has turrets guarding him.
Jacob: I'll go and see what's he's up to.
______________________________________________________________________________

Jacob: What's going on?
Joker: How did you get past my turrets!?
Jacob: Need is the key.
Joker: What?
Kasumi: *from far away* Hey, don't shoot! Joker! Joooker!
Joker: I see... So instead of a hot ninja-thief I get you.
Jacob: What's that?
Joker: Oh just the story of my life.
__________________________________________________________________________

Shep: Hey, it's rare to see you in the mess.
Joker: Well you know. Brittle bones. Some trips aren't worth the risk.
Morinth: And yet you are here.
Joker: You'd think that, wouldn't you?
Morinth: What do you mean?
Joker: I mean that, when someone sees something obvious they just think it. On this ship, however, everyone just say the first thing that comes to mind. "I don't like walking." "But you aaare walking, Joker." "I don't like cats." "But you looook like a cat, Garrus." It's like we're all living stereos with no volume control.
*Joker notices that Morinth is glowering*
Joker: And I just remembered why I don't like coming to the mess when I can.

[ADLegend21]

Thane: hello Shepard
Shepard: *punches Thane* PUNCH A FISH IN THE FACE!

[cookie for the reference]

[sporeian]

Reporter: So, Commander Shepard, what have you been up to?

Shepard: I've assembled the greatest team ever, took down The Collectors, because, they were being used by The Reapers to harvest humans to make a human reaper, and I actually had sex with a Quarian, out of her suit. Also, I joined up with Cerberus.

Reporter: I....see....... *backs away and turns towards the camera* Commander Shepard, hero or just bat sh*t crazy?

[Sajuro]

Shepard: Dismiss this! -shoots the Turian councilor but his kinetic barrier stops the bullet-

Turian Councilor:.....

Asari: Councilor:.....

Shepard:..... eheheh -shoots again but kinetic barrier stops it-

-hours later-
Reporter: The first human spectre was disbarred and imprisoned for making an attempt on Councilor Velarn's life because, he said "that damn Turian won't believe me about the Reapers" He also mentioned the pro human extremist group Cerberus and said they should be in charge instead of 'those f**king aliens'

TIM:..... -facepalms-

[Sandbox47]

Reader: You contradict yourself.
Sandbox: You're still alive!?
Reader: Oh yeah. You can't kill a critic for long.
Sandbox: Oh...
Reader: You said before that Joker had removed the turrets.
Sandbox: Yeah. He gave them to me.
Reader: So he couldn't h-... Wait, what?
Sandbox: Oh yeah. See that red dot on your forehead?
Reader: How?
Sandbox: You're right, of course, let me just make it bigger.
*messy reader death*
_______________________________________________________________________________

Grunt: Jacob.
Jacob: Grunt.
Grunt: Want to spar?
Jacob: Ah... not really.
Grunt: Come on. I've seen you doing your training. Take me on!
Jacob: Why don't you go and bother Zaeed?
Grunt: Pffft. I'm not stupid. *shakes head and walks away*
_______________________________________________________________________________

Tali: Hi Joker.
Joker: Hey, Tali! Long time, no see.
Tali: Doesn't it get boring just sitting here?
Joker: Oh I can keep my spirits up.
Tali: I see that. Most would have been restless from walking so little. I guess you must watch a lot of movies.
Joker: Yeah. And it's not like our prefrences are too different. I mean, Fleet and Flotilla is a little soft for my taste but you've been watching a lot of human-... well you know. I guess that there are too few quarians who do that kind of thing, with you guys being stuck within those fishbowls of yours. I mean, unless you have some kind of freaky fetish thing for enviro suits of course. Good thing there's a vibrate function for you guys. Come to think of that, how much does vibrate do for guys amongst you? I'll bet most of the are really pissed about-...
*Tali storms off*
Joker: What!? Tali? Hello?
EDI: Refrain from mentioning adult vids around other people, Jeff.
Joker: You know, I could have done with that info before I opened my mouth.
______________________________________________________________________________

Thane: Joker.
Joker: Oh, hi Thane. What's happenin'?
Thane: I had an irresistible urge to come and see you.
Joker: I thought that irresistible urges were brough on by dope? But nevermind. Unless you can get high by licking your own skin. Because, you know, liking toad. But if you are affected by that then it might explain the flashbacks and the irrational belief in your body seperate from yourself. I mean - that's high guy talk, right?
Thane: ... I don't understand.
Joker: It's nothing. Just something that a forum might speculate about if this was just a game, you know.
Thane: ... I think I can hear Shepard calling for me.
Joker: Yeah, see you.
EDI: Another thing I should tell you-...
Joker: You know what; write this stuff down to me and I'll read it through later.

[Sandbox47]

ADLegend21 wrote...

Thane: hello Shepard
Shepard: *punches Thane* PUNCH A FISH IN THE FACE!

[cookie for the reference]

I've no idea... Rebel sushi?

[FriendCode]

Kaidan: I have to admit, I'm impressed Jack. The level of biotic ability you have would be considered amazing even among asari, let alone a human.

Jack: Wish I could say the same for you. Quit sucking up and go grab an ice pack.

Modifié par FriendCode, 21 mars 2011 - 10:32 .

[LuckIs0nMySide]

ADLegend21 wrote...

Thane: hello Shepard
Shepard: *punches Thane* PUNCH A FISH IN THE FACE!

[cookie for the reference]

I take it you're referring to this: http://booter-freak....-FACE-156209091

Can I have my cookie now please?

[Homebound]

Garrus: I Have reach
Kasumi: I have flexibility

Zaeed:...Right. Im not paid enough to deal with this ****.
*walks away*

[Dean_the_Young]

Shepard: Hey, everyone, did you know that your translators have an automatic screening function to censor out your credit card information?
Jacob: Yeah, I did. Just came out of Alliance Dev: watch. ********
Garrus: Huh. Interesting. Turians have had it for awhile as well: ********
Tali: Quarians invented it awhile ago. Works even better for us, because you can't watch how our mouths move: ********
Joker: Man, I never knew about that. Hey, let me try: 39020304-
(Sees everyone writing down the number.)
Joker: ****.

Modifié par Dean_the_Young, 21 mars 2011 - 01:24 .

[Dave666]

Dean_the_Young wrote...

Shepard: Hey, everyone, did you know that your translators have an automatic screening function to censor out your credit card information?
Jacob: Yeah, I did. Just came out of Alliance Dev: watch. ********
Garrus: Huh. Interesting. Turians have had it for awhile as well: ********
Tali: Quarians invented it awhile ago. Works even better for us, because you can't watch how our mouths move: ********
Joker: Man, I never knew about that. Hey, let me try: 39020304-
(Sees everyone writing down the number.)
Joker: ****.

Nice one, it made me smile. 

[A2N2T]

This may be a little late, but idc.

Jack: Shepard, what the ****? Why the hell did you send me that vid?
Shepard: Jack, I send many videos to many people. Be more specific.
Jack: That ****ing ****ty ass oldies song from 21st centurey Earth.
Shepard: Oh, that! Yah, well, see, we're about to get that Reaper IFF, and you're going with me and Mordin. So I wanted to make sure you were angry, in case there's something to kill.
Jack: Shepard, **** you. If you ever do something like that again... Drop me off on Omega.
Shepard: Can do Jack. (Shepard leaves)
Jack: ****! I can't get this ****ing song out of my head. (Very long pause) It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday... Damnit Shepard!

[ADLegend21]

A2N2T wrote...

This may be a little late, but idc.

Jack: Shepard, what the ****? Why the hell did you send me that vid?
Shepard: Jack, I send many videos to many people. Be more specific.
Jack: That ****ing ****ty ass oldies song from 21st centurey Earth.
Shepard: Oh, that! Yah, well, see, we're about to get that Reaper IFF, and you're going with me and Mordin. So I wanted to make sure you were angry, in case there's something to kill.
Jack: Shepard, **** you. If you ever do something like that again... Drop me off on Omega.
Shepard: Can do Jack. (Shepard leaves)
Jack: ****! I can't get this ****ing song out of my head. (Very long pause) It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday... Damnit Shepard!

<- literally made this face from laughing!

[ADLegend21]

LuckIs0nMySide wrote...

ADLegend21 wrote...

Thane: hello Shepard
Shepard: *punches Thane* PUNCH A FISH IN THE FACE!

[cookie for the reference]

I take it you're referring to this: http://booter-freak....-FACE-156209091

Can I have my cookie now please?

hahaha indeed! *give you a cookie*

[amillian]

Challenge: use the phrase Kodiak moment.

[ADLegend21]

amillian wrote...

Challenge: use the phrase Kodiak moment.

EDI: the collectors are boarding.
Joker: Sh*t! why'd you tell the entire ground team to get in the shuttle?
EDI: I thought they could all use a perfect *ditgital shades* Kodiak moment
PA: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH *Guitar rift*