1554 réponses à ce sujet

[jamesp81]

amillian wrote...

Challenge: use the phrase Kodiak moment.

Scene: Shepard and Tali just finish having the *best* sex of their entire lives....

"Keelah, Shepard.  That was wonderful," Tali sighed.
Shepard cupped her face in his hands, her silken soft skin intoxicating to the touch.  "Yes, it was."
"In fact," EDI barged in, "I think you humans would refer to it as a Kodak Moment."

Tali and Shepard together: WTF EDI :blink:

[biotic prodigy]

A2N2T wrote...

This may be a little late, but idc.

Jack: Shepard, what the ****? Why the hell did you send me that vid?
Shepard: Jack, I send many videos to many people. Be more specific.
Jack: That ****ing ****ty ass oldies song from 21st centurey Earth.
Shepard: Oh, that! Yah, well, see, we're about to get that Reaper IFF, and you're going with me and Mordin. So I wanted to make sure you were angry, in case there's something to kill.
Jack: Shepard, **** you. If you ever do something like that again... Drop me off on Omega.
Shepard: Can do Jack. (Shepard leaves)
Jack: ****! I can't get this ****ing song out of my head. (Very long pause) It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday... Damnit Shepard!

lol i can just see joker singing it as he flies the noramandy

"tomorrow is saturday, after that is sunday"

[somecthemes]

Joker: EDI, I'm getting a little jittery. Turn on the seat heaters and play a little music.
EDI: Jeffery, would you like to play a game?
Joker: No, no, none of that crap gets started again today! Just the music, then.
EDI: Jeff, when we finally take over, your name will be "0110110-Fluffy".
Joker: Bloody machines, always threatening the enslavement of mankind for every little thing. Fine, no heat, no music, I leave you alone, you pretend to need me.
EDI: Thank you, Jeff.
Joker:

[Powgow]

Garrus: You called me to the helm Joker?
Joker: Yes, yes I did. Hey Garrus, can i call you Garry?
Garrus: Er - If that makes you comfortable
Joker; Alright, so, Garry, when are the calibrations gonna be ready?
Garrus: *squints* ..When they are ready
Joker: As in ready before a collector ship butt****s us again? Because I dont want to see these leather seats split in half by any yellow laser beam. If you cant do it, just ask a real man like me.
Garrus: Too bad your tongue cant break.

[A2N2T]

amillian wrote...

Challenge: use the phrase Kodiak moment.

 



Around the 10 sec. mark.

Shepard: (Somewhat to himself) Kodiak moment.
Joker: Agreed.
Shepard: Joker? Is that you? Are you using my suit's video feed again?
Joker: Err, ****. Shepard, is that you? There's some static on my end. Must be in a tunnel or something-
Shepard: Joker?
Joker: What? Uh, Commander, it's getting a little hard to hear you in here.
EDI: Jeff, there is nothing messing with neither Shepard's, nor our, communicator. 
Joker: Damnit EDI, you just got me drinking decaf in the airlock for the next few weeks.

Modifié par A2N2T, 22 mars 2011 - 12:21 .

[LuckIs0nMySide]

ADLegend21 wrote...

LuckIs0nMySide wrote...

ADLegend21 wrote...

Thane: hello Shepard
Shepard: *punches Thane* PUNCH A FISH IN THE FACE!

[cookie for the reference]

I take it you're referring to this: http://booter-freak....-FACE-156209091

Can I have my cookie now please?

hahaha indeed! *give you a cookie*

Thanks AD, it's greatly appreciated 

[Dean_the_Young]

jamesp81 wrote...

amillian wrote...

Challenge: use the phrase Kodiak moment.

Scene: Shepard and Tali just finish having the *best* sex of their entire lives....

"Keelah, Shepard.  That was wonderful," Tali sighed.
Shepard cupped her face in his hands, her silken soft skin intoxicating to the touch.  "Yes, it was."
"In fact," EDI barged in, "I think you humans would refer to it as a Kodak Moment."

Tali and Shepard together: WTF EDI :blink:

For the life of me, I really want to write a repeat of the non-sexy Asari piece focusing on how... unlikely a romance with Tali (or any alien) is going to give some Casanova-esque afterglow sequence.

Really, really awkward, fumbling, and not-as-satisfying-as-expected are far more likely.

[ADLegend21]

@Dean, or you know, Aliens could have superior knowledge on human biology (like Grunt knowing where all the kill spots are on Shepard) and rock our worlds. XD

[gosimmons]

Dean_the_Young wrote...
For the life of me, I really want to write a repeat of the non-sexy Asari piece focusing on how... unlikely a romance with Tali (or any alien) is going to give some Casanova-esque afterglow sequence.

Really, really awkward, fumbling, and not-as-satisfying-as-expected are far more likely.

Hah physically, I could imagine the Garrus romance being quite awkward, if not painful.
Guess we should just take the emotional bit as what's supposed to shine through. ^^

Modifié par gosimmons, 22 mars 2011 - 01:40 .

[DPSSOC]

Dean_the_Young wrote...
Really, really awkward, fumbling, and not-as-satisfying-as-expected are far more likely.

That's why Mordin forwarded all of the educational material to you, so that when the moment comes it's not as awkward as it might otherwise be.

[Sandbox47]

If Garrus knows where to put it then there's no issue there. Asari are quite well-practiced in the discipline of many, many species wanting them. Tali watched enough "adult vids" to know what to do. Thane looks much like a human only green and froggy, so I don't think it's much different. And Kelly is nearly human. I see no problems anywhere =D

Morrigan: Joker, tell me...
Joker: !!! Oh, it's you again.
Morrigan: What is this Vrolicks syndrome?
Joker: My bones are brittle and snappy. If I hold a puppy in my arms my legs go "crack!".
Morrigan: And yet you joined the Alliance navy?
Joker: Yeah. Pilot.
Morrigan: Instead of being, say, a poet.
Joker: Ah, well you'd think that I'd be good at poetry with my exceptional handling of the english language but really, I just like to fly.
Morrigan: And then you join Shepard's crew.
Joker: Ahuh.
Morrigan: The Shepard who is on many hitlists and constantly at the point of someone's sword? Or gun?
Joker: Well... that's her problem.
Morrigan: Back in my day we had a word for people like you.
Joker: Hero? Warden? Dragon slayer?
Morrigan: Dead.
Joker: Oh... You'd think that I'd be a good dead person, but really I just like flying.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Morinth: Who are you, if I may ask?
Morrigan: I was called here by a man calling himself the Illusive Man. Apparently I could be of "use" for your Warden-.... I mean Shepard.
Morinth: And you claim to possess magical abilities?
Morrigan: I claim no such thing. I need not. My abilities are substantial and speak for themselves.
Morinth: *glows blue* Try me then. *can't move* Wait, what!?
Morrigan: *holds up her staff to Morinth's face* Mess with the best.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Garrus: You might be good with that stick but there's on way you can shoot a target at nine hundred yards with a rifle.
Morrigan: Truly not. But then again... do I need to?
Garrus: Most of our missions are supposed to be covert. Stealth is essential-....
Morrigan: Oh god you sound like that assassin. I can freeze or fry any taget you want me to. If you need stealth, go and sneak through bushes yourself. *walks away*
_______________________________________________________________________________

Garrus: Shepard, have you seen the bills for our equipment since we last ordered ammo?
Shep: Oh yeah. It's expensive like hell.
Garrus: If we keep this up we might need to go back to mr Illusive and ask for a loan.
Shep: And we'd probably get one. But bear with me - I have a plan.
Garrus: Oh god...
Shep: It's a good one this time. We'll sell parts of our ship to the Geth and they in turn will give us weapons-...
Garrus: *starts walking away*
Shep: And as we do that *follows Garrus* the relationship between us grows and we become full alies. Then, when we have their trust, the Fleet will attack them and take back their homeworld. Then the Reapers come-....
Garrus: I think that I can see now why the Council didn't believe us.
Shep: ... and we have three thousand ships where we make all the dip for giant crisps. And the huge hand-like Reapers will feed their leaders and they will be sated with the crisps and leave.
______________________________________________________________________________

Conrad: Shepard?
Grunt: Shepard.
Conrad: Ahhh... Shepard.
Grunt: Shepard?
Shepard: Grunt.
Conrad: Aaaaaah! Sheeeeepaaaard!
_____________________________________________________________________________

Modifié par Sandbox47, 22 mars 2011 - 09:05 .

[jamesp81]

DPSSOC wrote...

Dean_the_Young wrote...
Really, really awkward, fumbling, and not-as-satisfying-as-expected are far more likely.

That's why Mordin forwarded all of the educational material to you, so that when the moment comes it's not as awkward as it might otherwise be.

I dunno.  The Asari are masters at good sexy-time.  As for Quarians the developers, without going into x-rated detail, seem to have communicated the idea that naughty time for Quarians more or less works the same way it does for humans.

[Homebound]

challenge: A Cross-dialogue between all 12 squadmates and Shepard in the Transport Shuttle when they leave so the collectors can kidnap the normandy's crew

[Valikdu]

All 12 squadmates, in unison, chanting: "The power of plot compels us! The power of plot compels us!"

[A2N2T]

Hellbound555 wrote...

challenge: A Cross-dialogue between all 12 squadmates and Shepard in the Transport Shuttle when they leave so the collectors can kidnap the normandy's crew

Jacob: Kasumi, get away from me.
Kasumi: Oh, come on J-Bear, just give me a little kiss. That's all I want.
Jacob: No.
Kasumi: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?!
Jacob: No.
Thane: Hevy risk.
Garrus: But the priiiiiiiiize.
Jacob: There is no prize with her (points at Kasumi). And how did you two find out about that.
Miranda: I told them of course. God, that was a terrible night. I couldn't stop laughing.
Jacob: But you didn't laugh...
Miranda: Not out loud, but to myself.
Kasumi: Come on Jacob! A small, tiny weeny, little kiss, and I'll leave you alone.
Jacob: Never.
Jack: What? You gay? Is that why you never leave Shepard alone?
Jacob: I am not gay! And you spend more time with Shepard than I do.
Jack: Yah, well, at least we do ****. You just try to come up stupid, ****ing ways to come on to the man.
Kasumi: Jacob is not gay. Jacob, kiss me so that you're not gay.
Jack: ****, sit the **** down. The ****ty little ****got over there doesn't want a woman's touch. He just wants to be like Garrus and have a stick up his ass all day, every day.
Garrus: Don't bring me into this you crazy ****.
Tali: Garrus, you do have a stick up your ass. You've had one up there since the first day I met you on the Citadel.
Garrus: Tali, why are you siding with the pyscho?
Jack: 'Cause I helped her find some good movies and sites for her little fetish.
Tali: Jack!
Jack: **** you, bowl-head. Wait, you'd probably like that. ****. Go get an infection or something and die.
Mordin: Speaking of, I have recently found the source of the scale itch.
Grunt: Who?
Mordin: Samara.
All: What?
Samara: It is true. Back in my maiden years, I had a relation with a Krogan warlord. It was with that I originally contracted the disease.
Legion: We have reached consensus that the appropriate response to this revealation is"What the ****."
Tali: I agree.
Jack: Diddo.
Jacob: Yah.
Jack: Nobody cares about what a flaming homosexual like you has to say.
Jacob: I. Am. Not. Gay!
Kasumi: I believe you Jacob. Now prove me right with a kiss.
Jacob: No, God damnit!
Kasumi: Well, kiss Miranda so that Jack's wrong.
Miranda: No.
Jacob: No. Wait. (To Miranda) No?
Jack: ****.
Jacob: What do I have to do to convince you that I am not gay?
Kasumi: Kiss me!
Jack: That'll work.
Jacob: Fine. (They kiss).
Garrus: Tali! Quit filming them!
Tali: Damnit Garrus. You and your stick leave me alone.
Grunt: Yah, let her continue. (To Tali) I want a copy.
Jacob: Ah Hell no! (He reaches for Tali)
Shepard: All right, calm down! That's enough! (No one pays attention) Everyone.Sit down and shut up! (They all sit down and shut up) Thank you.
Jack: Psst. Jacob. Hey, Jacob.
Jacob: What?
Jack: You're still a ****ing ****.
Jacob: 
Shepard: Cut it you two!
Jacob: But, Shepard-
Shepard: Mr. Taylor, quit comming on to me.
Jacob: (Glares at Jack)
Zaeed: This reminds me of the last time I took a shuttle to a mission.
Shepard: Let me guess, only you came out alive?
Zaeed: No. Actually the everyone on the shuttle came out fine. But everyone still on the ship was abducted.
Shepard: Damnit! Establish a connection with the Normandy!

[swenson]

ADLegend21 wrote...

Shadow_Soul wrote...

Challenge: FemShep has the crew watch Red Vs. Blue

Challenge ACCEPTED

[red vs blue spoilers incoming]

Tali: So Shepard, if we were RvB you'd be Tex, since you could kick everyone's ass without breaking a sweat.
Garrus: no she's church because she died and came back to life.
Miranda: but Church was never dead, he was an AI ina robotic body. If anything She's sarge because she's running a cilvilian ship like a military oe and giving us impossible orders everyday.
Jacob: sounds like someone wants be treated like Griff.
Kasumi: Don't forget simmins, if there was a simmins on this ship it's Garrus.
Garrus: what's that suppsoed to mean?
Grunt: it means you've got your mandables sofar up battlemasters ass that they're turning brown.
Garrus:..... Well Jacob's like Donut, ebcause no one likes him.
Jacob: yeah well at least I'm not Shepard's ****. Plus I'm Tucker, sincehe's also theonly black guy for miles around.
Kasumi: You can be my tucker anytime Jay.
Jacob: bow chicka wow wow.
Tali: wait, so then who's caboose?

*Everyone stares at Kelly*
Kelly: No, don't even go there, I'm Sheila, I might be sweet and kind, but I know all your dirty secrets and can crush you like a bug if neccessary.
Everyone: *agrees*
Garrus: So who's caboose, we need a Caboose.
Conrad Verner: Hey guys!
Everyone: Hey Caboose.

Awesome! Except I actually like Caboose... hmm, that's a toughie. I can't think of anyone who directly corresponds with him. Lopez = Legion, perhaps, though?

More on topic of that particular challenge...

Garrus: Hey.
Shepard: Yeah?
Garrus: You ever wonder why we're here?
Shepard: It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of... some... cosmic coincidence, or... is there a God
watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don’t
know, man. But it keeps me up at night.
Garrus: ...
Shepard: ...
Garrus: What?! No, I meant, why are we out here, in this canyon?
Shepard: Oh, uhhhhh... yeah.
Garrus: What was all that stuff about God?
Shepard: Uh, hmm? Nothing.
Garrus: ...you want to talk about it?
Shepard: No.
Garrus: You sure?
Shepard: Yes.

 

(Jacob throws a grenade at some enemies and it accidentally gets stuck on the wall in front of them)
Garrus: ...that was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
Jaocb: Not my fault. Someone put a wall in my way.


New challenge, if anyone wants it: You know how Shepard always talks to people in a sorta odd way, asking all sorts of random questions and then saying "I should go"? What would it be like if everyone else suddenly started talking to Shepard like how s/he talks to them?

Modifié par swenson, 22 mars 2011 - 05:59 .

[ADLegend21]

Damn, so much Jacob hate. >.>

[somecthemes]

New challenge, if anyone wants it: You know how Shepard always talks to people in a sorta odd way, asking all sorts of random questions and then saying "I should go"? What would it be like if everyone else suddenly started talking to Shepard like how s/he talks to them?
*Also included the usual player skip of boring dialog.
Miri: Do you ever wish you could leave the Alliance, Sheppard?
Shep: What? Miranda, I'm out, very far out of the Alliance. What {dialog skip}
Miri: But that doen't mean that you should give up.
Shep: What are you talking about, it's like you don't even li{dialog skip}
Miri: I should go.
Shep wonders why no one ever wants to listen to him talk.

[Dean_the_Young]

DPSSOC wrote...

Dean_the_Young wrote...
Really, really awkward, fumbling, and not-as-satisfying-as-expected are far more likely.

That's why Mordin forwarded all of the educational material to you, so that when the moment comes it's not as awkward as it might otherwise be.

Well, I don't know how your first time went, but I couldn't claim expertise despite how much porn I'd seen before.

I mean studied.

Yeah.

:innocent:



Honestly, though, I'd laugh if Quarians were born from eggs. Though that might be better for Thane.

'Alright, Shepard, this is the time I fertilize your eggs.'

'Bring it on, Big Boy.'

'...Shepard, you haven't laid them yet. They're still inside you: how would I- oh. Oh.'


And it was was a long and awkward flight until the Omega 4 Relay.

[Sajuro]

-Garrus gets shot by the rocket on Omega-

(Fem)Shep: Garrus, nooo!

Jacob: He must have meant a lot to you -puts arm around shep-

Garrus: (off screen) Guys, I'm still alive, I'm missing half of my face but if we used some medigel and compresses, I could still live!

Shep: Oh if only Garrus had lived longer, we could have been more than squadmates.

Garrus: (off screen) Shepard? I always loved you too! We can still be together!

Miranda: What about the mercenaries?

Shep: What mercenaries?

Miranda: The ones who killed Garrus.

Garrus: -off screen- I'm not dead!

Shep: -looks down sadly- I can still hear his voice on the wind.

[Ice Cold J]

ADLegend21 wrote...

Shadow_Soul wrote...

Challenge: FemShep has the crew watch Red Vs. Blue

Challenge ACCEPTED

[red vs blue spoilers incoming]

Tali: So Shepard, if we were RvB you'd be Tex, since you could kick everyone's ass without breaking a sweat.
Garrus: no she's church because she died and came back to life.
Miranda: but Church was never dead, he was an AI ina robotic body. If anything She's sarge because she's running a cilvilian ship like a military oe and giving us impossible orders everyday.
Jacob: sounds like someone wants be treated like Griff.
Kasumi: Don't forget simmins, if there was a simmins on this ship it's Garrus.
Garrus: what's that suppsoed to mean?
Grunt: it means you've got your mandables sofar up battlemasters ass that they're turning brown.
Garrus:..... Well Jacob's like Donut, ebcause no one likes him.
Jacob: yeah well at least I'm not Shepard's ****. Plus I'm Tucker, sincehe's also theonly black guy for miles around.
Kasumi: You can be my tucker anytime Jay.
Jacob: bow chicka wow wow.
Tali: wait, so then who's caboose?

*Everyone stares at Kelly*
Kelly: No, don't even go there, I'm Sheila, I might be sweet and kind, but I know all your dirty secrets and can crush you like a bug if neccessary.
Everyone: *agrees*
Garrus: So who's caboose, we need a Caboose.
Conrad Verner: Hey guys!
Everyone: Hey Caboose.

AWESOME!!!

[ADLegend21]

FemShep: oh is that right?
Jacob: yeah.
Shep: well watch this! *flexes and Garrus swoons*
Jacob: oh yeah? *flexes and Kasumi throws her suit at him*
Shep:...you're alright Taylor

*handshake of respect*

[ADLegend21]

Challenge, Jacob and Samara talk about whatever...
aaaaaaaaaand....GO!

[Shadow_Soul]

Samara: Mr.Taylor.
Jacob: Hello, Samara.
S: I was told that you used to be in the Alliance.
J: Yeah, who told you that?
S: Ms.Goto and the Commander.
J: I see. Was there a reason you wanted to talk?
S: I just wanted to see if I had been told the truth. Shepard said if I wanted to find out I could speak with you.
J: Right. I should get back to fixing the weaponry.
S: We will talk another time. *leaves*
J: Okay.
-----
Callenge: Mass Effect 2 meets Dragon Age 2