1554 réponses à ce sujet

[jamesp81]

Made Nightwing wrote...

CHALLENGE

FemShepard, Miranda, Tali and Garrus meet up after the Reaper War along with their Love Interests. All three are retired and married. Bonus points if FemShep's married to Kaidan and the other three have very unlikely partners. Can be humorous or sad and reflective.

This needs an entire short story written for it, not banter.  Something to work on....

[Sandbox47]

@Jamesp - That was - AWESOME.

[Dean_the_Young]

lovgreno wrote...

Mordin and Thane talking with Kasumi spying on them.

Mordin: Problematic.
Thane: Yes.
M: Jacob kidnapped, need information. Must plan rescue, but too many variables!
Kasumi: *Gasp!*
T: I have scouted the location. Perhaps my memories can help you form a plan. *Memory lapse* Jacob, chained and naked in a room.
K: ....
T: Desperately whispering Kasumis name.
K: Squeee!
M: Odd. Heard what the humans define as "fangirl squee". Proably EDI exploring Jokers collection of exotic *cough* entertainment again.
T: A infiltration mission is required. Sadly my cloaking skills are far from good enough for this.
M: Only one choice.
T: Yes, Kasumi.
Kasumi starts to nosebleed.
M: Ah, the classic "stereotyped reaction to sexyness". *Inhales* Just as expected. Thane, I belive you have been what the humans refers to as "owned".
T: Indeed. You have proven that you can make Kasumi nosebleed. You have won the bet. Here are your five credits.
Jacob enters the room: Kasumi? what is wrong? Are you hurt?
K: Ehehehe! Nonono! I will be fine. *Growls at Mordin* I will get you for this...
Mordin: Yes, heard that before. *Smiles smugly*

FemShepard walks in.

Shepard: Giving Kasumi a nosebleed? Bah, anyone can do that.
Mordin: Doubtful, Shepard. Kasumi is-
Shepard: Watch me. Hey, Kasumi, ****whogetspunchedinthefacetwicesayswhat?
Kasumi: Huh?
*Shepard Renegade punches Kasumi in the face, busting up her nose.*
Shepard: See? Nosebleed.
Kasumi: You ****! I didn't say "what"!
*Shepard punches her in the face again, sending her sprawling.*
Shepard: And there's punch number two, cause you just did. See? I'm psychic.

[ADLegend21]

Schattengarde wrote...

This threat has prompted me to actually register for an account. Thanks to all you guys and gals for making a fun read.

Just a quick one to start off with:

FEMSHEP is sitting in the crew mess of the Normandy SR2, idly poking at something GARDNER referred to only as, "It's Salarian Fusion, try it," when the elevator dings. A moment later, GARRUS hobbles around the corner, headed for the main battery. He pointedly does not make eye contact.
SHEPARD: Looks up. You doing alright, Garrus?
GARRUS: Hmm? Yeah, just fine.
SHEPARD: You don't look fine. Are you hurt?
GARRUS: Mandible twitch
SHEPARD: Garrus?
GARRUS: Remember that story I told you? The one about how turians blow off steam?
SHEPARD: Yeah. You couldn't settle it with a fight so you--
GARRUS: Settled it in her quarters, yes.
SHEPARD: Don't tell me someone's flexibility outdid your reach.
GARRUS: ...For the record, when Tali says, "I've got a shotgun," ...it's a euphemism.

baha!

[daxmeister]

Made Nightwing wrote...

*Shepard and Ashley are wondering through the Citadel, doing couple stuff*

Shepard: Isn't this wonderful? We've defeated the Collectors, just having some R&R before the next ga....I mean before the Reaper's arrive. It's nice being my own character. Sure, the standard facial model is pretty terrible, but a couple of guys can think up some really cool ones. And Mark Meer's voice acting can get a bit bland, but he pulls it off okay. The nice part is that in some way, I represent the thoughts, hopes and dreams of the college freshman who created me.

MadeNightwing: Thanks Shepard.

Shepard: No problem man.

Ashley: Yep Skipper, life couldn't get much better.

*Suddenly a portal opens in front of them and a skinny fifteen year old jumps out.*

SI Writer: Hey there, I'm a Self Insert Fanfiction Writer. I'm here to romance Tali, become a badass soldier in just a few hours of training, and sometimes use awesome superpowers, 'cos the Protheans chose me, or I used a Magic XBox 360 or something like that.

Ashley: I'm a little confused. Don't you get to project your own personality onto Shepard? That entirely negates the need for a Self Insert.

SI Writer: Hey, I write what I want to write. Doesn't matter that it sounds like I'm ****** to a narcisstic fantasy. Wait, aren't you Ashley? Man, you're such a racist ****. After Horizon, I wished I could go back to Virmire and kill you instead of Kaidan Blandenko.

Ash: **** it. I'm fed up of relying on people realising that I'm meant to be a flawed character who overcomes her suspicions and becomes a better person.

*Pulls out shotgun and shoots the Self Insert in the chest.*

Shepard: Was that really necessary?

Ashley: No, but it felt good.

__________________________________

I kind of despise Self Insert fanfiction. Some make it incredibly funny and worthwhile. Others actually make it pretty awesome and realistic to read. But I just can't accept how most of them:

a) They suddenly just get transported into the ME universe.

Shepard accepts them onto the crew, just because they know the plot of the game.

c) All of them, without exception, end up romancing Tali.

My first post in this thread is simply to agree completely. I hate Self Inserts in general, but especially in Mass Effect Fanfics. They're predictable (teleport into Mass Effect, make every other character look stupid, character hate, romance Tali), they're ridiculous, and they are completely unnecessary. Shepard can be characterised however you like; if you want him to be exactly like you then you could feel free to write him like that.

I dislike character hating, too. Yeah, I usually romance Tali, but it doesn't mean that I am obsessed with her. Yeah, Jacob isn't the most interesting character in the world; I still find it quite touching when he and M!Shep have manly handshakes and plan to get drunk on the Citadel, just because it's a tiny moment that really makes you feel that you've got friends aboard the Normandy. Miranda and Ashley aren't huge *****'s, Kaidan isn't whiny, etc. etc.

Regardless, I'm driving this thread horribly off-topic.

Challenge: Zaeed and Kasumi discuss the feeling that recruiting them was an afterthought for The Illusive Man.

[somecthemes]

Katsumi: So, when did Timmy decide to request your unique skills?
Zaeed: Not quite sure, could've been the time I took a small asteroid into that slaver's camp, the time I lead a raid on the Consort's secret den. Heck, could've been the time I was caught by C-Sec walking a pack of varren into Chora's, lots of ways that didn't turn out as planned. Why?
Katsumi: Just wondering, apparently he had been looking for me almost since Shep died, but he couldn't catch up until I started hanging out at the Citadel, watching for information about Kaegi.
Zaeed: Really, what made you the pick of the litter amongst the ferals and psychotics?
Katsumi: Oh, I assume it was my habit of spying while invisible, very hard to collect anyone who's invisible. Still, could be worse, I heard gossip that one of the team was only brought on because Tim liked his cheap aftershave.
Zaeed: Leathernecked?
Katsumi: What?
Zaeed: Nothing.

[sporeian]

Inspired by the rumours of Shepard's Trial

*s/he represents him/herself and interviews his/her team*

Shepard: Please point out the person in this courtroom you had sex with.
LI: *groans then points to Shepard*
Joker: Wooooooooooooo!

(I know I'm a copycat, but it works!)

[breakdown71289]

Shepard: Sup'
Harbinger: Nothin' much man, you ready for the arrival?
Shepard: Sure.....just need to get the ol' ancient prothean reaper repellant, hold on
Harbinger: O_O
*disengages hyper drive for the milky way galaxy*

Modifié par breakdown71289, 07 avril 2011 - 12:44 .

[Made Nightwing]

Thirty years after the Reaper War. Miranda and Jack are sitting in a living room.

Miranda: So how are you enjoying retirement?

Jack: Oh I love it. I love baking for the grandkids, learning how to sew, playing lawn bowls. Retirement is terrific.

Miranda: *Sips tea* You're still taking contracts on the side aren't you?

Jack:.........................Yeah. Retirement gets boring sometimes. Don't tell Shepard.

Miranda: Only if you don't tell Jacob that I was the one that helped Zaeed kill Vido last month.

********************************

Yeah, I just can't imagine these two femme-fatales ever really retiring.

[Schattengarde]

In the Main Battery. FEMSHEP walks in, like she's done a dozen times before.

GARRUS: Turns. Shepard. Need me for something?
SHEPARD: Have you got a minute, Garrus?
GARRUS: Can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations.
SHEPARD: That's fine, I'll come back later. Leaves.
GARRUS: Good, now maybe I can finish. Turns back to the console and presses a few buttons. I'll get you this time... tetris.

[Sandbox47]

Shep: I wonder if the Reapers harvest other galaxies...
Morinth: I doubt it. The distance from here to another galaxy is too great. Without a mass relay it will take too long to get there.
Shep: I wonder if there are asari and humans in other galaxies.
Morinth: I doubt it. We are from one and same galaxies, but turians and humans can't share a full, proper meal without one of the getting terribly poisoned. We are too diverse locally, in other galaxies we would not recognize the life forms as humanoid. Or any kind of noid. Just some unfortunate blob.
Shep: I wonder if there are any Ardat Yakshi in other galaxies.
Morinth: Would that make you feel safer?
Shep: No. But it would be nice to know that even in other galaxies people have to put up with this kind of constant whining.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Miranda: Shepard, don't touch that!
Shep: What is it?
Miranda: A prototype signal transmitter.
Shep: Oh, sorry. And what's that?
Miranda: No, don't touch that either!
Shep: Why not?
Miranda: It's a model of a very complex molecule. I've had Mordin helping me to finish it for months.
Shep: Oh, alright. What's that?
Miranda: Just don't touch anything!
Shep: Why not? What is it? *picks up a small, white piece of plastic*
Miranda: Do you really want to know?
Shep: Yes, I do.
Miranda: It is a quarian pregnancy test.
Shep: What? *drops the thing.* Oh. I knew that. Waaait. Hang on there. Are you saying that Tali and I... Hey, humans can't have children with quarians. Can they? I mean, the amino acids are... don't like each other much. Oh no, what if I've poisoned her!? What have I done!? *faints*
*Tali enters*
Tali: Thanks, finally payback.
Miranda: Don't mention it. You won't believe what he and Jacob pulled on the first of april.
Tali: Did it involve Garrus in a catsuit?
Miranda: ... That man really deserves more, you know.
Tali: Let's put Garrus and Joker in bed with him. Naked. And tape his reaction when he wakes up.
Miranda: EDI, do something to Joker that makes him gullible.
EDI: Yes, Miranda. Shepard will pay. *evil AI laughter*
_______________________________________________________________________________
Garrus: Good morning, sunshine.
Shep: Good morning. *yawns*
Joker: Goodmorning, ah... honeypot full of... rainbow bees.
Shep: What? *looks around* Whaaat the fuu...
Garrus: It was damn nice of you to let us do what we wanted, Shepard. I appreciate that.
Joker: A bit uncomfrotable with all the bouncing though. I think that I broke something.
Shep: O_O
Garrus: How about we do this again sometime?
Shep: *faints*
Joker: You were right, that was so worth it.
________________________________________________________________________________
TIM: EDI, this month's video feeds from the Normandy, please.
EDI: Transmiting now.
TIM: Let's start with Miranda's omni tool recordings.
EDI: Playing.
Garrus: Good morning, sunshine.
Shep: Good morning. *yawns*
Joker: Goodmorning, ah... honeypot full of... rainbow bees
*video pauses*
TIM: O_O Did I miss something?
EDI: There is more to the commander than you know.
TIM: ...
*on the Normandy*
Miranda: Did he buy it?
EDI: That sucker bought it all.

[jamesp81]

Made Nightwing wrote...

Thirty years after the Reaper War. Miranda and Jack are sitting in a living room.

Miranda: So how are you enjoying retirement?

Jack: Oh I love it. I love baking for the grandkids, learning how to sew, playing lawn bowls. Retirement is terrific.

Miranda: *Sips tea* You're still taking contracts on the side aren't you?

Jack:.........................Yeah. Retirement gets boring sometimes. Don't tell Shepard.

Miranda: Only if you don't tell Jacob that I was the one that helped Zaeed kill Vido last month.

********************************

Yeah, I just can't imagine these two femme-fatales ever really retiring.

I'm writing a fanfic that takes place 20 years after the war, based on the challenge at the top of the page.  I hope to finish it this weekend.  Then all will know how much I really suck at writing.

[Dave666]

Sandbox47 wrote...

Shep: I wonder if the Reapers harvest other galaxies...
Morinth: I doubt it. The distance from here to another galaxy is too great. Without a mass relay it will take too long to get there.
Shep: I wonder if there are asari and humans in other galaxies.
Morinth: I doubt it. We are from one and same galaxies, but turians and humans can't share a full, proper meal without one of the getting terribly poisoned. We are too diverse locally, in other galaxies we would not recognize the life forms as humanoid. Or any kind of noid. Just some unfortunate blob.
Shep: I wonder if there are any Ardat Yakshi in other galaxies.
Morinth: Would that make you feel safer?
Shep: No. But it would be nice to know that even in other galaxies people have to put up with this kind of constant whining.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Miranda: Shepard, don't touch that!
Shep: What is it?
Miranda: A prototype signal transmitter.
Shep: Oh, sorry. And what's that?
Miranda: No, don't touch that either!
Shep: Why not?
Miranda: It's a model of a very complex molecule. I've had Mordin helping me to finish it for months.
Shep: Oh, alright. What's that?
Miranda: Just don't touch anything!
Shep: Why not? What is it? *picks up a small, white piece of plastic*
Miranda: Do you really want to know?
Shep: Yes, I do.
Miranda: It is a quarian pregnancy test.
Shep: What? *drops the thing.* Oh. I knew that. Waaait. Hang on there. Are you saying that Tali and I... Hey, humans can't have children with quarians. Can they? I mean, the amino acids are... don't like each other much. Oh no, what if I've poisoned her!? What have I done!? *faints*
*Tali enters*
Tali: Thanks, finally payback.
Miranda: Don't mention it. You won't believe what he and Jacob pulled on the first of april.
Tali: Did it involve Garrus in a catsuit?
Miranda: ... That man really deserves more, you know.
Tali: Let's put Garrus and Joker in bed with him. Naked. And tape his reaction when he wakes up.
Miranda: EDI, do something to Joker that makes him gullible.
EDI: Yes, Miranda. Shepard will pay. *evil AI laughter*
_______________________________________________________________________________
Garrus: Good morning, sunshine.
Shep: Good morning. *yawns*
Joker: Goodmorning, ah... honeypot full of... rainbow bees.
Shep: What? *looks around* Whaaat the fuu...
Garrus: It was damn nice of you to let us do what we wanted, Shepard. I appreciate that.
Joker: A bit uncomfrotable with all the bouncing though. I think that I broke something.
Shep: O_O
Garrus: How about we do this again sometime?
Shep: *faints*
Joker: You were right, that was so worth it.
________________________________________________________________________________
TIM: EDI, this month's video feeds from the Normandy, please.
EDI: Transmiting now.
TIM: Let's start with Miranda's omni tool recordings.
EDI: Playing.
Garrus: Good morning, sunshine.
Shep: Good morning. *yawns*
Joker: Goodmorning, ah... honeypot full of... rainbow bees
*video pauses*
TIM: O_O Did I miss something?
EDI: There is more to the commander than you know.
TIM: ...
*on the Normandy*
Miranda: Did he buy it?
EDI: That sucker bought it all.

Sandbox? Has anyone told you that you're awesome lately? 'cause you are!

[Kagura_Hakubi]

Reapers descend upon the earth, only to be confronted by a small elf with bare feet and a wooden stick.

Harbinger: "Are you intending to intimidate us?"

Merril: "No, actually. We just thought we'd invite you for a spot of tea." points stick.

Harbinger (amused): "Who do you think you are?"

Merril: "We're Torchwood." A hole opens up behind her to reveal a graviton resonance cannon that blows the first six reapers out of the sky.

[Sandbox47]

Shep: Where is my coat?
Crewmember: Ah... what coat?
Shep: And my commander's cloak?
Crewmember: I, ah, don't know commander.
Shep: Then why are you standing here like a good for nothing old and deaf house cat?
Crewmember: I'm sorry?
Shep: You should be! And where is my staff and looking glass? Where be my commander's attire?
Garrus: You've been playing Cossacks again, haven't you?
Shep: You dog, how dare you address your commander thus?
Garrus: Come on, we'll read some comics.
Shep: But my quizzing glass!? I cannot abuse my eyes thus! I demand my monocle!
Garrus: It's right alongside your light saber and your mongolian bow. And please stop playing video games, or else we won't have enough room on the Normandy for important things like the new wooden horse full of greek warriors I ordered, the same one that I read about in a human history book and thought that we might throw at the Reapers.
________________________________________________________________________________

Eddie Izzard: Some people have techno fear. But I, I have techno joy! You take the manual and unwrap it and... throw it out the window!
Shep: Why?
Eddie: What?
Shep: Why do you throw it out of the window? The whole ship will decompress, our blood will boil and we will die before we manage to say "asphyxiate" if you open the window.
Eddie: Oh, well I meant a general window. Somewhere on earth.
Shep: Oh. What if the manual hits someone on the head?
Eddie: Then they will call the authorities and they will arrive and throw cats at me through the window.
Shep: Oh. You know, the whole point is moot, the manuals are digital nowadays anyway.
Eddie: Ah... I knew that. You do realize that by the time this actually happens I'll be long dead, right?
Shep: Yeah, but one can always dream.
*Tali shakes Shepard*
Tali: Wake up, Gardner's done breakfast. You don't want to leave it still for too long or it may develop a sense of awareness.
Shep: Ah damn.
Tali: What?
Shep: For a moment there I thought that I was in heaven.
________________________________________________________________________________

Joker: It must be nice. To work as a stand up comedian.
Eddie: There are definetly a few pros to it, yes. Though mainly I just talk rubbish to people who think that it's funny. You need a stupid and large crowd, otherwise they'll be onto you.
Joker: You know, I could probably do stand up. Or sit down, you know. With my legs.
Eddie: Ah, clever. You're on good way to becoming one. Of course, you'll need to learn accounting to be able to keep check of the income and outcome of any gigs you do in arenas. Most will try to screw you over.
Joker: Really?
Eddie: Yes. You also have to assume that everyone lie.
Joker: Why is that?
Eddie: Because that way you won't get screwed over and you won't have to learn accounting.
Joker: Wait... was there a joke in there?
Eddie: Yeah... I'm working on it.
Joker: Well keep working. I've got a badass ship, who cares if I make people laugh.

[Sandbox47]

Where did everyone go? Keep posting, guys.

[Malanek]

Joker: So Garrus, looks like you owe me an apology.
Garrus: What for?
Joker: That time you went all heavy on me and shoved a gun in my face. You know, because you thought I got Shepard killed.
Garrus: Why should I apologise for that?
Joker: Because Shepard is in the messdeck eating lunch. Doesn't look too dead to me. Besides, I didn't make Shepard come and get me.
Garrus: Look, I can respect your desire to save the Normandy. But what did you expect to happen when you disobeyed the evacuation order. Shepard will never abandon a crew mate and you should have known that. Your action wasn't willfully bad, but it was a bad one. You have had your one chance, if you are ever responsible for Shepards death again, I will pull the trigger.

Miranda: Shepard, it seems the Illusive Man has betrayed us. His behaviour is unfathomable, the only logical explaination is that he has been indoctrinated.
Jack: Correction there cheerleader. The Illusive man has betrayed us again.
Miranda: [ignoring jack] We must act quickly to neutralise him. He is too big of a threat to ignore.
Jack: About f***ing time. Who knew... we agree on something.
Shepard: OK, we go in quick and quiet. We'll see if his Reaper implants can stop a bullet in the head.
[later that day after the successful assassination]
Jack: Beautiful. [mimicking the illusive mans voice] I brought you back Shepard, you cannot kill me.[voice returns to normal] I do love a good piece of irony.
Miranda: We need to act quickly. Cerberus is now leaderless but I know it inside out, I can assume control and transfer the base of operations to the Normandy.
Jack: No. F**k no.
Miranda: Shepard, Cerberus is still an immensely valuable organisation, we cannot just squander that.
Jack: What part of f**k no, didn't you understand? Cerberus needs to die. All lengths of it's putrid tendrils disolved. It's tainted Shepard, I will not go along with this.
Miranda: Shepard, it's time to cut Jack free, she's too much of a liability.
Jack: Make your choice Shepard.

[DPSSOC]

Grunt: That fight was amazing, and breaking that merc in half with my bare hands, what a rush eh robot.
Legion: We did not notice that Grunt-Urdnot felt he was under time-constraints.
Grunt: What?  No I meant it was exhilirating; the adrenaline, the violence, the sweet taste of victory  Didn't you enjoy it?
Legion: We do not experience emotions as organics do.  Shepard-Commander tasked us with clearing the facility of hostiles and we did so.
Grunt: You mean you don't feel anything?  No anticipation at the beginning of a fight? No contempt when your enemies refuse to face you like warriors?  Not even the joy of standing over their broken corpse?
Legion: Affirmative
Grunt: Your's is a hollow and colourless existence robot.

[GRISHASAUR]

CHALLENGE

shep and crew finds out that Kal'Reegar and Tali are togeter and 10 bonues points if its funny awkward

[Destroy Raiden_]

DPSSOC wrote...

Grunt: That fight was amazing, and breaking that merc in half with my bare hands, what a rush eh robot.
Legion: We did not notice that Grunt-Urdnot felt he was under time-constraints.
Grunt: What?  No I meant it was exhilirating; the adrenaline, the violence, the sweet taste of victory  Didn't you enjoy it?
Legion: We do not experience emotions as organics do.  Shepard-Commander tasked us with clearing the facility of hostiles and we did so.
Grunt: You mean you don't feel anything?  No anticipation at the beginning of a fight? No contempt when your enemies refuse to face you like warriors?  Not even the joy of standing over their broken corpse?
Legion: Affirmative
Grunt: Your's is a hollow and colourless existence robot.

I like this one could've come from the game they should put this in 3

[Dean_the_Young]

Garrus doesn't have hair.
Most aliens don't have hair.
Chopping off body parts is rarely a good thing.

The consequences of a hair cut seem obvious.

---

"Morning Garrus."
"Morning Shepa- Shepard! Your head!"
"Hm? Oh, you noticed?"
"Damnit, Shepard, when did this happen? Who did this to you!?"
"Uh, a barber? Last night? I mean-"
"Bastard, he ambushed you?! Shepard, did he hurt you anywhere else? How many were there, to take you down like that?"
"Garrus, calm down, I don't think you-"
"Gods, Shepard, you- no, I understand."
"You do?"
"I've seen this before in CSEC. Traumatic assaults can lead the victim into denial as a response. It's only natural."
"Garrus, I-"
"Doctor Chakwas! By god, someone get Doctor Chakwas! Shepard's been maimed!"
"Garrus, listen to me!"
"No, you listen Shepard. It will be alright. I promise you, I'll find the bastard who did this, and I'll make him pay."

[Herakleia]

SHEPARD enters the briefing room.

SH: Yes, I got the IFF from the....

(Instead of The Illusive Man, Shepard sees a volus.)

SH: Who are you? Where is....

Familiar Voice: This is the Illusive Man. Who did you expect to....

SH: But....

TIM: Damn doctors. Said I had to quit smoking. And you know what happens.....

[Sandbox47]

Shep: I have a plan.
Kasumi: Shoot.
Shep: Not yet. First we enter the facility from two directions. The south entrance here, where there are man guards and, consequently, a lot of assault rifle waiting.
Kasumi: Fair enough.
Shep: The other team will enter through the north-east entrance. There is a stationary turret and a few mechs, nothing you can't handle.
Kasumi: Alright.
Shep: You take the lower route here and then arrive at the core.
Kasumi: Gotcha.
Shep: There's a defence system of some sort. I trust that you can crack it. If not, abort the mission.
Kasumi: Wait.
Shep: What?
Kasumi: But won't the team entering through south entrance be there by the time I arrive?
Shep: No, the guards are too many.
Kasumi: Yeeeah, but we killed a Reaper baby.
Shep: That's not relevant. We're not immortal.
Kasumi: No, but we're damn good.
Shep: *sigh* Fine, f**k it. We all go through the west exit where they keep their arch demon, take everything out, get the puppy and leave before the place blows to hell. Got it?
Zaeed: Reminds me of a job I did on Ilium-...
Garrus: You mean this job?
Zaeed: Can't a man fantasize without critics?
_______________________________________________________________________________

Tali: Why are we here?
Shep: Where else do you want to be?
Tali: Well not here.
Shep: Get over yourself.
Tali: But why-...
Shep: We're in this bathroom because I said so!
Tali: No you didn't. You dragged me in here!
Shep: I know.
Tali: With the whole club watching.
Shep: Great, isn't it?
Tali: Why?
Shep: What will they think when we come out together?
Tali: ... That we were in here together? And were rather uncomfortably close, I might add.
Shep: Aethyta was right. Qurians have no sense of humour.
*Tali removes her mask*
Shep: !!! Aethyta!?
Aethyta: What did I tell you? Next time you drag someone into a bathroom make sure they've got the part to do the deed, girl.

I know that they're horrible. I'm bored.

[Sigyn2011]

 Shepard comes back from a mission, nearly mortally wounded.  He wakes back up the Normandy infirmary with Miranda looking over him.

Shepard (grunts) :Oh man, deja vu.  Didn't we do this already?
Miranda (shakes her head): Shepard, there's no way that I'd spend another two years of my life patching your sorry ass up.