1554 réponses à ce sujet

[HappyHappyJoyJoy]

Kasumi: OMG, there is Jacob, I wonder if he got my note...

Jacob: GET OVER HERE!

Kasumi: He did! Oh, hi Jacob, I was wondering if you got the note I slipped under your door...

Jacob: I GOT IT!

Kasumi: So, I was wondering if you are available... you know...

Jacob: PUTTING UP A BARRIER!

Kasumi: What?!? I thought, maybe you and me could spend some time together...

Jacob: NOTHING CAN TOUCH ME NOW!

Kasumi: Oh, Jacob! *sob*

Jacob: YEAH!

[Assasin4Hire]

(Grunt is in the armory while Jacob is away, Tali comes in carrying her combat drone)

Grunt: Quarrian

Tali: Grunt, my name is Tali

Grunt: Hmph Krogan do not like to be on first name basis with their comarads, so it means less when they die.

Tali: But you refer to Shepard by his name

Grunt: Of course, not addressing your battlemaster is a sign of disrespect. Shiager Sol would burn subordinates for not addressing her by her name

Tali: Quarrians value social relationships more than anything else

Grunt: I can understand that...not seeing your close-one's face is like never knowing who they really are.

*Tali starts working on her drone*

Grunt: Quari-...Tali

Tali: Yes, Grunt?

Grunt: Why did you name your attack drone?

Tali: I don't know....even though I know it has the mental capacity of a varren I like to think of it as a pet. Quarrians don't usually keep pets, most pets don't tolerate the suit. And I can't blame them.

Grunt: But it's an A.I. isn't it?

Tali: If your trying to make a point about the Geth, it's not going to work. Geth only reach minimal intellagence when alone,I think then I could tolerate one. it's only in groups that they show problem solving abilities.

Grunt: So keep the drone because it's dumb, hate the Geth because they're smart

*Tali looks at grunt then leaves*

[JRCHOharry]

Zaeed: I survived a shot to the head.

Jacob: I survived Eden Prime and a batarian attack.

Shepard: I survived the battle of the citadel, the Normandy attack and the omega 4 relay.

Jacob: Omega 4 doesn't count Shepard, we all survived that.

Wrex: I survived birth.

...

Shepard: Wrex wins again.

[Assasin4Hire]

JRCHOharry wrote...

Zaeed: I survived a shot to the head.
Jacob: I survived Eden Prime and a batarian attack.
Shepard: I survived the battle of the citadel, the Normandy attack and the omega 4 relay.
Jacob: Omega 4 doesn't count Shepard, we all survived that.
Wrex: I survived birth.
...
Shepard: Wrex wins again.

that is so epic

[CROAT_56]

^^^ this one i really like Wrex wins again lol

[Gamer Xtreme]

Kaiden: Hey Shepard



Shepard: Hey Carth

[Shadow_Soul]

I love these! Lol. Well, I'll try later. These are just to great. I can't stop laughing at some of them!

[Malanek]

Mecha Tengu wrote...

someone do legion and mordin. Been trying it myself, but impossible to make

OK

L: Mordin-Doctor, we have a query.

M: Legion. What can I do for you?

L: We have a comprehension failure on a biological matter and seek clarification.

M: Absolutely. Happy to help. As ranking scientific medical officer I am the logical choice.

L: We determined Samara was the logical choice but she reacted to our query with mirth and would not elaborate.

M: You seek out Samara before me. But claim it is logical. So you are interested in laymen Asari biology?

L: Over the last 36 hours we have scanned approximately 30 terabytes of literature and over 7000 terabytes of visual medium but have been unable to find an accepted consensus. If the original Asari reproduced without physical interaction why did they evolve with reproductive organs?

M: Ah. Asari reproductive organs. Fascinating subject. One of the great mysteries of life. Subject has been debated countless times. Has even been used as an attempted proof of a deity. Argument followed that Asari "lady" knew Asari would eventually encounter other species. Therefore created that way to... increase likelihood of DNA randomisation. Of course argument is nonsense. Theists fail to understand difference between proof and theory. And rather far fetched theory at that. Even more fascinating is each species believes there is resemblance to thier own species. Human, Turian, Batarian... Krogan. And if you have seen a Krogans reproductive organs that is a disturbing thought. Of course Salarians are able to reason rationally about the subject. Well...almost rationally. So tell me Legion. Why the interest?

[painful silence]

L: We need to go.

Modifié par Malanek999, 22 décembre 2010 - 09:28 .

[Assasin4Hire]

(Ken is working in engineering Tali walks in)
Tali: Hello Ken, Where's Gabby?
Ken: She got time for shore leave, while I'm stuck here calibrating the engine
*Tali nods and goes to work on the engine*
Ken: So I've noticed we've got an Asari walking around
Tali: Yes she's a legendary Asari Justicar
Ken: Well I'm sure her clevage is legendary!
*Tali stares at Ken*
Ken: *sighs* it's just not the same...

Modifié par Assasin4Hire, 22 décembre 2010 - 10:18 .

[betd2]

Assasin4Hire wrote...

(Ken is working in engineering Tali walks in)
Tali: Hello Ken, Where's Gabby?
Ken: She got time for shore leave, while left stuck here calibrating the engine
*Tali nods and goes to work on the engine*
Ken: So I've noticed we've got an Asari walking around
Tali: Yes she's a legendary Asari Justicar
Ken: Well I'm sure her clevage is legendary!
*Tali stares at Ken*

Meanwhile Shepard is wlaking by engineering
*BOOM*
Shep walks in
Tali: I have a shotgun

[Dark_Caduceus]

[Edit: Duplicate post removed. - Pacifien]

Modifié par Pacifien, 17 janvier 2011 - 04:19 .

[Assasin4Hire]

Dark_Caduceus wrote...

Shepard: You're black.

Jacob: I know.

Now your just repeating yourself

[Inquisitor Recon]

Shepard: "So a storage depot a system over has a spare Mako. Joker, spin up the engines and set a course to these coordinates."
Garrus: "Oh no..."
Miranda: "What?"
Garrus: "You don't want to ride with Shepard in the Mako."
Miranda: "According to his service record Shepard is fully qualified to drive the Mako and any number of other vehicles."
Garrus: "Yeah..."

Later, next to an flipped Mako:

Garrus: "That was... impressive."
Miranda: "Does he always try to make every jump he sees?"
Garrus: "Yeah."
Miranda: "I think he hit a dozen of those space cows too."
Garrus: "New record."
Miranda: "But did he really have to try to climb that near verticle slope, there was a path right next to it."
Shepard: "Shut up you two. Now I remember why I hated this thing."

Modifié par ReconTeam, 23 décembre 2010 - 05:41 .

[Shadow_Soul]

@ReconTeam

Yes! I lol'd at that.



@betd2

Loved the drunk FemShep!



-------------------------------------I uh tried one. Don't hate me.

*Shep charges at enemies and kills them all*

Jack: How the **** did you manage to wipe out all the ****ing baddies?

Shep: I'm Shepard. Now come on. Kasumi you too.

*Kasumi fallows Shep*

Jack: That b*tch! Stealin' my ****ing move. Who the ****ing hell does she think she is?

Shep: I heard that! Come on.

[betd2]

After a Hammerhead mission

Shep: (kicks the side of the Hammerhead) piece of hi-tech, over-engineered, Cerberus crap! (storms off)

Garrus: She does kind of have a point. this thing is pretty fragile.

Tali: You perfer going back to the Mako?

Garrus: (thinks about it) point taken.

[Tasker]

FemShep :  So Jacob,  you reckon you're not good enough for Miranda but you're good enough for me.

Jacob : Er...

RENEGADE INTERUPT  :  FemShep shoots Jacob in the balls. 

[betd2]

Jacob stands in front of Legion

Jacob: but you are mearly a robot, BUT I AM A MAN! (punch)

[Mariah5]

iakus wrote...

Grunt. Tiny. But fierce.

  Is this a Dresden Files reference?

[Shadow_Soul]

@betd2

Lol!

[Iakus]

Mariah5 wrote...

iakus wrote...

Grunt. Tiny. But fierce.

  Is this a Dresden Files reference?

Not so much a reference to, but more "inspired by" 

When I first thought up that line, I figured "It's been done before"  But really, what other complimentary phrase could a big bad superkrogan say to a skinny human with a boatload of biotic power and an attitude to match?

But yes, I could totally see Jack going toe to toe with fallen angels or vampiric demigods if she was in the appropriate setting.

[Iakus]

Mordin:  Strange, is it not, that a geth would follow an organic lifeform?  Even those who followed Saren ultimately held allegiance to the Reapers

Legion:  No

Mordin:  Really?  Explain, then.

Legion:  We believe that Shepard-Commander is no longer a strictly biological life form, Mordin Solus.  We have studied his medical records following the destruction of the Normandy and reconstruction through the Lazarus Project.  Substantial cybernetic augmentation has taken place. 

Mordin: Irrelevant.  Many beings receive mechanical or cybernetic augmentation.  For enhanced abilities, for necessary life-sustaning activities.  Entire mechanical limbs are not uncommon.  Does not make a being synthetic

Legion:  The augments not only sustain his life.  It is our belief that they were responsible for restoring  Shepard -Commander to life. We believe that  Shepard-Commander has been reborn as a being both organic and synthetic.

Mordin:  Hmm, Interesting hypothosis.  May bear further study.  Must remember to check with EDI on files Normandy has on machine cults and philosophies on modern life support mechanisms.  Still, sought out the Commander before learning he was dead.  Was still fully organic then. 

Legion:  Nobody is perfect

[Aliwa]

Legion: Mordin-Doctor. We have heard you speak to Commander-Shepard about your Salarian patter songs.
Mordin: Yes. Yes. What do you want to know about it?
Legion: We only wished to compare our own to yours.
Mordin: Impossible. Geth are machines. Extensive research has shown that Geth have no music. No poetry. No entertainment or art. Culturally as dead as the Collectors. Merely tools for the Reapers, who also have no art to speak of, save the mass relays. And those are only used to move the organic creatures in the evolutionary path they choose.
Legion: -pauses, blinks eye-camera-
We are a very model of a model of a Geth assassin and sniper
These organic creatures are really hard to decipher
We wear the broken armor of the great Shepard-Commander
And when we stand here idling we do so love to pander
Our knowledge of the heretics has no other equal
And the consensus in our run times say they are truly evil
Mordin: -Clears his throat- Well, not Gilbert & Sullivan, but well done.
Legion: My run times suggest that the probability of this moment being "awkward" is 93.6% ....

Modifié par Aliwa, 23 décembre 2010 - 02:46 .