1554 réponses à ce sujet

[DPSSOC]

Ash: SHEPARD!!!
Shepard: Oh damn, this can't be good.
Ash: You no good...dirty, rotten...son of a...
Shep: Ash, honey, sweety, complete sentences would help.
Ash: Don't you sweety me you son of a *****, you cheated on me!
Shep: Look Ash it's not what you think.
Ash: Don't give me that BS, I spent all that time after Horizon worried sick about you and you were screwing around with some Cerberus tramp!
Shep: Ash I can explain.
Ash: Oh really?
Shep: I had to do it for the fish.
Ash: The...fish...  What?

[Made Nightwing]

After Horizon:

Kelly: So, Commander, I understand you met back up with Commander Alenko on Horizon. He said some pretty horrible things.

Shepard: I suppose he did. To be fair, we were both pretty emotional. Maybe once my mission's over...

Kelly: If he can't respect you, you should break up with him.

Shepard: What? No, I'm sure once he's calmed down we can...

Kelly: He won't calm down Shepard. He probably moved on without you. You should definitely move on with someone else.

Shepard: With who? Mordin's really an option. Kasumi already called dibs on Jacob. Garrus is like my big brother, and Thane's still grieving his wife.

Kelly: *Undoes the zipper on her uniform jacket a few notches* Maybe you should look elsewhere Commander? I think Alenko was just typical of a man. They get so petty and jealous. Not like me, I'd never yell at you like that. Not unless you wanted me to...

Shepard: I should go.

********************************

*Miranda's Office*

Shepard: I need a restraining order against Chambers. Now.

Miranda: Why?

Shepard: She's stalking me. I found her in my fish tank the other day.

Miranda: She could have just been cleaning it?

Shepard: Naked?

Miranda: *Determined* She probably didn't want to get her uniform wet.

Shepard: She put cameras in my shower and next to my bed.

Miranda: Helps her with her psychological profiling.

Shepard: She keeps offering to massage me.

Miranda: Helping the crew deal with stress is one of her duties.

Shepard: Naked.

Miranda: Sometimes that's the only way to really relax the skin.

Shepard: Not me, her. And she won't stop bringing me coffee.

Miranda: She makes very good coffee Shepard.

Shepard: Yeah, I had Mordin test it, he found an asari drug that loosens sexual inhibitions.

Miranda: Probably confused it with the sugar.

Shepard: How much blackmail material does she have on you?

Miranda: Me and Jacob all over the Engine Room floor. Chocolate may or may not have been involved.

Shepard: classy.

************************************

Challenge: Kelly stalking various members of the crew.

[PMC65]

Crew reading the "Wider options for Romance in ME3" thread ...

Tali: "Are they back on the toggle?"
Jack: "How the f--- should I know?"
Garrus: "Yes."
Shepard: "Could I have jelly with that?"
Liara: *facepalm*
Tali: "What?"
Jack: "Toggle ... you ****head"
Shepard:

Ash: "What's a toggle?"
Joker: "It keeps people from knowing that you and the Commander are a couple."
Ash: "What? Shepard's a woman! I'm not into women ..... "
Garrus: "Right."
Jack: "**** ... that toggle does work!"

[GamerT123]

Made Nightwing wrote...

************************************

Challenge: Kelly stalking various members of the crew.

Chanllege accepted!

Shep: Hey! thane!
Thane: yes shepard.
shep: Have you...um...ever got the feeling of being watched?
Thane: Well...uh...recently I have felt the presence of someone  looking at me with lust. but I didn't get a glasp of who it was
Shep: no kidding everyone on board has been complaining that they may have a stalker
Thane: is there a possiblity that it kasumi
Shep: maybe that...is... a poss--

*kasumi run in*

Kasumi: *(pants)* Shepard *(pants)*  please hide me.*(pant)*  Everywhere I go it feel like I'm being watch
shep: *sigh* well at least we know it wasn't her
Thane: well if it is not her then who?

*Shep and and thane contemplate*
Legion walks in

L: shepard-commander we have reach a census that the stalker is Kelly

*Thane, kasumi, and shep look at each other*

Shep: should have seen that coming
Thane: me too
kasumi: Me three
Legion: also mordin transfer data to this platform on who was spreading Scale itch
Shep: Tell Mordin that we already know who behind the scale itch epidemic
Kasumi: Yeah.....everyone know who it it was.

***************************************************************
Challenge:
one of the crewmates doing a jerry springer show

Modifié par GamerT123, 19 mai 2011 - 07:31 .

[GRISHASAUR]

Challenge: how will Ash react when she finds out that liara was one who gave sheps body to cerbers and didnt even tell her that shep might come back espaily if she and shep were involed

Modifié par GRISHASAUR, 18 mai 2011 - 11:55 .

[Made Nightwing]

Balak: So, they send the Second Human Spectre to kill me! You will be no more successful than Shepard!

Ashley: How about instead of fighting, we flip a coin?

Balak: What? Well, I guess.....

Ashley: Heads or tails?

Balak: Heads....no wait Tails!

*Coin flips up, Balak's eyes follow it. Ashley shoots him in the throat*

Ashley: Twice the eyes, half the brain.

[PMC65]

Made Nightwing wrote...

Balak: So, they send the Second Human Spectre to kill me! You will be no more successful than Shepard!

Ashley: How about instead of fighting, we flip a coin?

Balak: What? Well, I guess.....

Ashley: Heads or tails?

Balak: Heads....no wait Tails!

*Coin flips up, Balak's eyes follow it. Ashley shoots him in the throat*

Ashley: Twice the eyes, half the brain.

 Love this!

[Valikdu]

Made Nightwing wrote...

Balak: So, they send the Second Human Spectre to kill me! You will be no more successful than Shepard!

Ashley: How about instead of fighting, we flip a coin?

Balak: What? Well, I guess.....

Ashley: Heads or tails?

Balak: Heads....no wait Tails!

*Coin flips up, Balak's eyes follow it. Ashley shoots him in the throat*

Ashley: Twice the eyes... *dons shades*... half the brain.

The Who: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

[breakdown71289]

^

Modifié par breakdown71289, 20 mai 2011 - 08:53 .

[gosimmons]

After the Arrival mission



Shep: I had a good day.

Garrus: You have the Alliance on you. With the suicide mission half the people on this ship have been shot or wounded, including yourself. And we're harboring know fugitives..

Shep: We're still flying.

Garrus: That's not much..

Shep: It's enough.

Modifié par gosimmons, 21 mai 2011 - 02:56 .

[BlackwindTheCommander]

gosimmons wrote...

After the Arrival mission



Shep: I had a good day.

Garrus: You have the Alliance on you. With the suicide mission half the people on this ship have been shot or wounded, including yourself. And we're harboring know fugitives..

Shep: We're still flying.

Garrus: That's not much..

Shep: It's enough.

Oh you and you're Serenity references.

[100k]

@iOnlySignIn

Aria: I AAAAAM Omega!
Shepard: Good for you. But I'm ALPHA.

PLEAAAAASE LET THIS LINE BE IN ME3

*drools*

[Unata]

iOnlySignIn wrote...

Idea: "Rescue" your most hated lines from Mass Effect with creative expansion.

I'll begin:

Morinth: Look into my eyes and tell me you'd kill for me. Anything I want.
Shepard: Bwahahahahaha! Hahaha! Ha! Ahem. No. You're disgusting.

Aria: I AAAAAM Omega!
Shepard: Good for you. But I'm ALPHA.

Vasir: Have you any idea what your terrorist friends have done?
Shepard: Speak when spoken to, b!tch! [Backhands]

Harby: WE ARE HARBINGER...
Shepard: It doesn't MATTER who you are! [Widow headshot]

Archer: Please, let me take care of my brother...
Shepard: How about I "take care" of you? [Grabs metal spike and skewers Archer's arm]

Kenson: I'll never witness the Arrival! You've ruined EVERYTHING!
Shepard: Goooooood.

Shepard, Liara and Thane enter Shadow Brokers room..

Shadow Broker: Here for the Drell?

Shepard: (Thumb over shoulder) No Thanks,  Already got one

[FrostyYeti]

Shepard outside Afterlife's VIP section.

Turian: For the last time buddy I'm not letting you in.

Shepard: Fine, Screw you! I'll make my own VIP section. With blackjack! And hookers!

Turian: Uhuh.

Shepard: You know what, forget the VIP section and blacjack! Ah screw the whole thing...


May be extremely cheesy, but no way I was gonna pass it up

[Sandbox47]

This thread must not die. Is all I say.

[DrRedrum]

Challenge: The supposed scene in ME3 where the giant Thresher maw tries to eat a reaper. What is the squad's reactions?

[Master_Anthony]

Challenge: Infiltrator Shepard being a sneaky perv

[breakdown71289]

Master_Anthony wrote...

Challenge: Infiltrator Shepard being a sneaky perv

*on board the normandy in miranda's quarters*

ManShep: Psst!

Miranda: Huh?

ManShep: Psst!

*miranda turns around while she's changing to see shepard just outside her door*

ManShep: Heeeeeeey girl! *waves hand*

Miranda: Ugh, GET OUT! *slams door*

ManShep: Well that went smoothly.....

Modifié par breakdown71289, 02 juin 2011 - 03:00 .

[ADLegend21]

Made Nightwing wrote...

Balak: So, they send the Second Human Spectre to kill me! You will be no more successful than Shepard!

Ashley: How about instead of fighting, we flip a coin?

Balak: What? Well, I guess.....

Ashley: Heads or tails?

Balak: Heads....no wait Tails!

*Coin flips up, Balak's eyes follow it. Ashley shoots him in the throat*

Ashley: Twice the eyes, half the brain.

hahahahaha

[GamerT123]

DrRedrum wrote...

Challenge: The supposed scene in ME3 where the giant Thresher maw tries to eat a reaper. What is the squad's reactions?

Shep: Hey! Garrus, Zaeed, you guys got to check this out.
Garrus: What is it now we're in the middle of a.....OH MY GOD
Zaeed: What is it....OH wow
Z: you know what I've seen something similar happen in a movie once.
G: What movie was it ?
Z: Can't remember it was an old movie from japan about two monsters fighting in tokyo
S: Hey want to place a bet. 500 credits said that Thresher Maw will win
Z: Really! then my credits on the Reaper.
G: sorry shepard, but I'm going with Zaeed on this one.

That day shepard won 500 credit

Modifié par GamerT123, 03 juin 2011 - 12:39 .

[Master_Anthony]

DrRedrum wrote...

Challenge: The supposed scene in ME3 where the giant Thresher maw tries to eat a reaper. What is the squad's reactions?

 

Ash: Skipper where's Grunt? He went charging off about 10 minutes ago shouting something like I'm gonna ride it today.
MShep: OH GOD NO
Ash: What did you do Commander?
MShep: I told him about Dune
Ash: You did wha..
Grunt: I'M DOING IT SHEPARD! RIDE THE WORM! HAHAHAHA
10 minutes, 1 dead Reaper, 1 docile Thresher maw, and entire crew's worth of later.
Grunt: Much better than a shark Shepard





I realise Dune has already been used with Grunt and Thresher Maws...just couldn't resist it

Modifié par Master_Anthony, 03 juin 2011 - 02:09 .