1554 réponses à ce sujet

[Sandbox47]

You know how you think that you know something and then someone comes over and tells you that you were wrong and proves it to you and then you feel stupid but then it turns out that the ****** who told you otherwise was a complete moron and didn't know anything about the matter in the first place and you were right all along?
Well that's how I feel right now. Want to feel like that too? Post party banter in this thread and recieve free cookies.

[Note that the cookies are digital, the banter has to be in text form and the feeling will have to be personally recreated by you because I am just a character in the game called "BioWare Social Network" where there are deep characters, interesting plots, gods... no, I meant mods, and Talimancers roaming the circuits, looking for bread. Thank you.]

[Raven4030]

Chakwas: Shepard, we need to talk.
Shepard: What about?
C: Well, when we were hunting Saren you stick Liara in my lab before we know where her loyalties lie. So if she turned out to be one of the bad guys she'd have shot her way through ME first.
S: OK...
C: And then you decide to put Legion in the server room, so if he had turned on us the first human he would murder is probably me. You do realize I'm not a soldier, right?
S: I suppose it's a bad time to mention that I found a Rachni wandering around alone who doesn't APPEAR to be hostile and I want to keep him in your med bay until we can get him home, isn't it?
--------------
There, I tried.

[Sandbox47]

Shep: What is it?
Garrus: Oh nothing, just a thing.
Shep: Where did you get that?
Garrus: From that place, you know.
Shep: Oh. Well at least it's going to come in handy.
Garrus: I don't know. Maybe.
Shep: So what is that?
Garrus: I think that it used to be a carpet.
Shep: Oh. And what is it now?
Garrus: An interstellar carpet manufacturing prototype.
Shep: Oh. I don't quite know what to say to that.
Garrus: Don't worry, it can't understand you anyway.
______________________________________________________________________________

Shep: So you like to listen to what people say and judge them based on that?
Kelly: Yes.
Shep: That makes you prejudiced. In a bad way.
Kelly: How so?
Shep: In a bad way.
Kelly: But I'm not prejudiced, I'm very openminded.
Shep: And you base that on what?
Kelly: I work with aliens and humans, males and females alike?
Shep: Well I could say the same thing about a toothbrush.
Kelly: Toothbrushes don't work for Hanar...
Shep: Racist bastards.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Shep: If you fart - how long does it linger?
Tali: O_o... My helmet isn't connected to the rest of the suit. That would be pointless.
Shep: Has anyone ever connected them?
Tali: No! Why would they?
Shep: So you don't know what a fart smells like?
Tali: Gah, Shepard! What's wrong with you?
Shep: One last question...
Tali: *sigh* Yes?
Shep: Wouldn't it be funny if Garrus licked your helmet?
Tali: *walks away*
Shep: ... Maybe it's just me.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Shep: Wouldn't it be funny if you licked Tali's helmet?
Garrus: And that is a euphemism for..?
Shep: Licking Tali's helmet.
Garrus: Ah. Then no.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Shep: Let's do a test.
Grunt: What test?
Shep: I shoot your head with handgun and we see whether it cracks your head or not.
Grunt: Yeah!
Shep: *fires five shots at Grunt*
Grunt: *stumbles* Holy quad, I'm dizzy. Alright, my turn.
Shep: What? No! *runs away*
Grunt: Hey, just one! Come on, Shepard! *chases after Shep*

Modifié par Sandbox47, 15 août 2011 - 01:05 .

[Predi1988]

Sandbox47 wrote...
Shep: Let's do a test.
Grunt: What test?
Shep: I shoot your head with handgun and we see whether it cracks your head or not.
Grunt: Yeah!
Shep: *fires five shots at Grunt*
Grunt: *stumbles* Holy quad, I'm dizzy. Alright, my turn.
Shep: What? No! *runs away*
Grunt: Hey, just one! Come on, Shepard! *chases after Shep*

This one was damn funny :lol:

[fainmaca]

A bit of shameless self-promotion here, but I'm going to post some of my favourite lines from my fic, Into the Unknown. First is my all-time favourite, a line of dialogue I have between a paragon-romanced Jack and Shepard.

Jack: End of the world's around the corner, and you're gonna waste your time on me?
Shepard: You know it.
Jack: You're F**ked in the head, you know that?
Shepard: Once or twice, but only in the line of duty. Except for Samara's daughter. That was to help out a friend.
Jack: Shut up, you idiot!

Later on:

Jack: Ah, f**k. You’ve got more questions, aincha?
Shepard: "You don’t have to answer them if you don’t want to."
Jack: "Didn’t say that I felt I had to. Go ahead. Maybe you’ll get lucky and ask the right ones."
Shepard: "No chance you’ll give me a clue what to ask?"
Jack: "F**k no! Where’s the fun in that?"

~~~~

Kaidan and Legion playing Skyllian Five:


Kaidan: "Oh, come on! That’s the sixth time in a row. How are you doing this?"
Legion: "The mathematical equations necessary to predict the outcome of the game are rather simple. Every seventh-"
Kaidan: "Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that you’re counting cards?"
Legion: "Affirmative."
Kaidan: "But that’s… that’s cheating!"
Legion: "We were unaware that such a method of participation was considered dishonest."
Kaidan: "Well… don’t do it anymore."
Legion:"We are unable to comply."
Kaidan:"Wha-?"
Legion: "We cannot participate in this recreational activity without calculating the most probable outcome of the hand dealt. It is in our programming. If the aim of this activity is to succeed, then we deem it impossible to win without counting the cards."
Kaidan: "You’re not supposed to calculate how to win! It’s supposed to be all about luck!"
Legion: "Luck?"
Kaidan: "You know… luck. Random chance. Fate."
Legion:"We do not understand the concept of random chance. Everything can be reduced to the statistically probable, and the statistically improbable."
Kaidan: "So are you telling me… Geth don’t believe in luck?"

~~~~~
Kal'Reegar and Tali are showing Shepard, Garrus, Kaidan and Legion around a Quarian colony. they are in a medical facility, where they see maskless Quarians. The Quarians are not described to the reader.

"Huh." Garrus muttered. "So that’s what they look like. Go figure."
"Hey, Tali?" Kaidan asked, pointing at a certain feature on the patient’s exposed face. "What do you use those for?"
"For smelling." The Quarian answered matter-of-factly. "Why? Don’t you have them?"
"No." Kaidan sounded surprised. "Do you see any of those on me?"
"I- I thought Humans just had them somewhere inconspicuous." The little Admiral answered. "So how do Humans smell, then?"
"Pretty terrible, truth be told." Garrus replied with a deadpan voice.
"Hey!" Shepard retorted jovially.
"It’s true!" Kal said, joining in. "Why do you think we Quarians are so happy that we can turn off the olfactory filters on these suits?"

~~~~

Joker and EDI are arguing in the cockpit when the Commander walks in:
"Oh come on! Best five out of nine." Joker pleaded.
"I must return to my assigned duties, Jeff."
"You’re just scared that I’ll beat you this time."
"Accumulated data from previous attempts suggests that this would be highly unlikely."
"Yeah, you’re scared."
"Joker, EDI? Something wrong?" Shepard asked.
"Huh? Oh, Commander!" Joker straightened up in his seat, tapping controls busily, although Shepard noticed he wasn’t actually doing anything other than looking busy.
"What’s going on here?" Shepard asked suspiciously.
"Jeff and I were competing in-"
"Hssht!" The pilot hissed, trying to silence his ship.
"Jeff, do you have something stuck in your throat?" The AI asked with concern. "Should I alert the Med Bay?"
"Ahh… Let him choke, EDI. Now, what were you saying?"
"Judging from Jeff’s reactions, I believe answering your query would violate an unspoken confidence between us. I cannot say any more."
"EDI, I’m in command of this ship. Now, do I have to go down to the AI Core and start pulling wires?"
The cockpit was silent a moment longer before Joker sighed, slumping in his seat.
"Spectre Justice Five."
"What?"
"A new game. They hold tournaments every now and then where you can win credits. I’ve been playing it in my downtime, and EDI got curious. So I figured out a way to hook her up, and she’s an absolute machine!" He chuckled only to quail before Shepard’s stern expression. "Sorry, bad pun."~~~~


Shepard heads down to Engineering to talk to Legion:

"Legion." Shepard nodded. "Its unusual not to see you armpit deep in some technical problem or another."
"Our tasks aboard the Normandy rarely rely upon insertion of our arms up to the shoulder joint."
"Figure of speech, Legion. Keep working at them. You’re not far now."
"Acknowledged."
"What I meant to say was, you’re almost never away from your post. Is something wrong?"
"Negative. We are currently running a full diagnostic of the fuel regulation systems. The task requires the devotion of a significant portion of our processing power. However, we felt that this was a task better suited to being completed remotely."
"Why?"
"Engineer Donnelly was encouraging a significant strain upon our systems’ efficiency. His continued audio output was proving most distracting."
"So shut off your ears, or whatever you’ve got that listens."
"The task is not as simple as you believe. Our lack of response caused Engineer Donnelly a significant amount of concern. He believed that he was somehow responsible for ‘breaking the Commander’s pet Geth’. Once he retrieved his tool to attempt impromptu repairs upon this platform, it became apparent that simply ignoring Engineer Donnelly was not an option."

~~~~

Shepard speaks to Mordin in the tech lab:

"Was working on way to counter Reaper indoctrination when latest test self-destructed."
"Wait a minute… are you saying you’ve got samples of Reaper tech?"
"Yes. Only small samples, though. Nothing that presents a risk to Normandy’s crew."
"How did you get them?"
"In truth, have you to thank for not cleaning your armour often enough. Was able to retrieve small scraps of Husk tissue from your armour. Found half a finger in sole of your boot, although most of that was used up in preliminary tests."
"What?" Shepard asked a little incredulously. "You scrubbed down my armour for… minced Husk?"
"Of course. Normal circumstances during mission do not allow time for collection of proper samples, so have to make do with what I can get."~~~~

Another trip to the tech lab:


"Shepard! Just in time! Was about to test latest project, needed volunteer. Unnecessary to go looking for one now that you are present. That is, if you are willing to ‘step up to the plate’?"
"What’s it do?" Shepard asked cautiously, remembering the numerous times EDI had calmly informed the crew to don hazmat equipment after the scientist’s experiments.
"Was investigating method to increase muscle mass of patients through use of nanites. Similar to Alliance gene therapy procedure, but much faster, and results are more pronounced. Believe am now ready to advance to trials upon living test subjects."
"Are you sure it will be compatible with what Cerberus used to put me back together?" Shepard asked, growing nervous.
"Complications always a possibility, but cannot be sure until we try." Mordin smiled broadly
"I… think I’ll pass, thanks all the same." Shepard said awkwardly.
"A shame. Perhaps next time." The Salarian’s tone suggested that he was far from disappointed. "In meantime, can always ask Joker. Not a viable test subject, but his reaction to risk of becoming one is always fulfilling to watch."

~~~~

Shepard and Garrus enjoying a drink:
Garrus stepped behind the bar located against the wall of the lounge, running a finger along the bottles perched on the shelves there. He stopped at some bottles bearing a script that was completely foreign to the Commander, eventually grabbing one that contained a purplish liquid.
"Quarian. Very nice. What about you, Commander?"
"Surprise me."
"You asked for it."
"Nice. What is it?" Shepard asked.
"A Krogan drink, actually. They call it ‘Nardan’. I once heard one of my team describe it as ‘sweet as roses, but thick as ****, and with about the same smell’. Apparently its something that the Krogan females make, which would explain its less harsh nature compared to ryncol."
"Krogan? So that means…"
"When you said to ‘surprise you’, I decided it didn’t have to be an immediate thing. You ought to get the shock of your life tonight." Garrus’ grin was triumphant. "Make sure you’ve got plenty of reading material in your cabin. You’ll need it where you’ll be sitting."

[Malanek]

Great stuff fainmaca.

[Sandbox47]

Shep: I wonder what happened to that guy and Omega.
Garrus: You don't think that the Reapers are important enough to occupy your full attention?
Shep: I'm multitasking.
Garrus: Fine. What guy?
Shep: The guy that keeps saying that the end is high.
Garrus: You mean "nigh"?
Shep: Dude.
Garrus: What?
Shep: We're fighting Reapers and you're concerned over a typo?
Garrus: ... You know how I never get angry at you?
Shep: Aw, that's so sweet of you.
Garrus: I really am now.
Shep: No you're not.
Garrus: You're right. I'm fuming.
Shep: Here's a kitty treat.
Garrus: ... thanks.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Tali: So you don't like Jacob?
Jack: No.
Tali: Joker?
Jack: **** no.
Tali: Mordin?
Jack: What's wrong with you?
Tali: Zaeed?
Jack: He's three times my age.
Tali: Garrus?
Jack: What's your agenda, bucket head?
Tali: You don't like any of the guys on board. Unless you're interested in Gardner...
Jack: ****** off.
Tali: Alright. Just making friendly conversation.*leaves*
Gardner: She gone?
Jack: Yup.
Gardner: Want a pie?
Jack: Hit me.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Morinth: That was fascinating.
Zaeed: Yeah, well don't mess with batarian women is all I'm saying.
Morinth: I will keep that in mind.
Zaeed: You're old. You must have stories to tell.
Morinth: ... Old?
Zaeed: Yeah. Like a hundred and something, right?
Morinth: Did you say old?
Zaeed: What's that Shepard? I'm on my way.
Morinth: How exactly am I old!?
Zaeed: Look, lady. You're blue. I can't tell the difference between young and old, right?
Morinth: I cannot tell the difference between you and a vorcha, but do you hear me insulting you?
Zaeed: That hurt.
Morinth: Now you know how I feel.
Zaeed: Hmm... you've got a point.
Morinth: Want to embrace eternity?
Zaeed: Lead the way, brain sucker.
Morinth: You're not in the least worried?
Zaeed: I got shot. Do your worst.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Challenge: Gardner and Joker in the cockpit.

[Sandbox47]

Imagine a starship in it's glory and glossiness. Imagine the captain of that starship, gazing out across the endless fields of space as grazing asteroids flit by. Imagine a pilot who, in his concentration, still looks upon the sunrise of a planet and his heart beats faster and harder, cracking a rib or two.

And see how the starship moves faster than lightning, nay even faster than two lightnings that are competing with each other for speed and women. And suddenly a shadow darkens the ship. The captain knew that this would happen one day. The pilot readies his controls for fight or flight. The AI gazes lazily out and decides not to get involved in this, it's been through enough already.

The shadow seems to emit a cold that inhibits the ship's engines. The woman with a bucket on her head in the engineering deck can do nothing but observe as the last drops of power vanish from the core of the ship. The cat-lizard stops his calculations. There is nothing to be gained from them any more. The captain readies the handgun. It's barrel shivers and disappears, replaced with a fanged beak.

The huge beast that gives off the shadow slowly flits towards the powerless ship. It's size makes a gravitational pull powerful enough to drag the ship into its orbit. The african warrior fastens his belt with all the ammunition he can carry. The chef/janitor washes his hands. And arms. And feet.

"Ladies and gentlemen..." says the captain over the intercom. All of the passengers are silent as they await what might be the last words they ever hear. "... we have parked at McDonalds. Cerberus' treat. Shepard, out."

Joker: Really, commander? Cerberus' treat?
Shep: *shruggs* Paperwork screw up. What can I say?

[capn233]

Sgt Cathka: Archangel's got quite a surprise waiting for him. But that means no more waiting for me. Gotta get her back to 100% before Tarak decides he needs her again.
Legion: Shepard-Commander. Disabling Cathka-Sgt will facilitate goal of recruiting Archangel.
Cathka: Uh.. What was that?
Shepard: He said you're working too hard.

---------
Shepard: You deserved better
Tali: I got better Shepard. I got you.
Garrus: I can just head back to the Normandy now if you two want to get a room.
--------

Shepard: Garrus, got a minute
Garrus: Sure, I finally finished those calibrations. That took forever. Should have a lot more free time to talk or whatever
Shepard: Oh... well Mordin analyzed the data we pulled from the collector base. He has some new modifications for the guns. But he said it might take a while to get them dialed in.
Garrus: *sigh* I'll get started
---------
Miranda: Niket wouldn't do that. Dammit, why won't this thing go any faster!
Shepard: Did Niket know you took Oriana from your father?
Miranda: No he just found out about that recently. It was too personal to involve someone else. I never really thought about it but maybe...
Legion: We determine that Niket-friend has betrayed Lawson-Operative with 98.7% certainty. This affects mission parameters.
Shepard: Legion...
Miranda: Great, anymore insights?
Legion: Lawson-Operative projects confidence, although this may be an attempt to counter self-doubt and insecurity. Admitting Niket-friend's betrayal further undermines self esteem. It is a common organic hardware error.
Shepard: Ok that's enough.
Miranda: *wipes away tear* We'll just see who's right when we get there.
---------

[ADLegend21]

(everyone's working out in the new Normandy's gym)

Jack: alright Cheerleader, you got the looks, but do you have the substance?
Miranda: what are you going on about mohawk?
Jack: 500lbs, bet you can't do one rep.
Miranda: I'm not gettingin a weight lifting contest, and it's obvious that you mislabeled those weights. That's actually 750 lbs and that would crush a human
*Both women look over to see Joker getting under the semmingly light bar
Miranda: Joker no!
Joker: hrrrrgh *does 10 reps then sits the bar down*
Miranda:
Jack: No f**king way, brittle bones just out benched everyone!
Miranda: how did you just do that?
Joker: EDI saw Jack messing with the weights so she lightened the gravity so no one would get killed.
Jack: *walks away angry*

[Sandbox47]

Garrus: This isn't happening.
Joker: I'm sorry. It must be the Reapers or something.
Garrus: Do you have any idea what this might or might not do to the weapon systems?
Joker: Dude, just give me a moment!
EDI: I have this powerful headache coming on....
Shep: I can't believe this. How is it even possible?
Joker: So we're lost. Big deal. We've been through worse.
Garrus: What happened to the map!?
EDI: ... and there's Mercury and Saturn and, oooh look, a horsie nebula. Hi horsie nebula. Pretty horsie.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Tali: Have you ever considered to be polite?
Jack: Have you ever considered to get lost?
Tali: Well, as a matter of fact... we are.
Jack: *facepalm* I walked right into that one, didn't I?
Tali: Uhuh.
Jack: Uhuh what? ****** off.
________________________________________________________________________________

Morinth: Hello Jacob.
Jacob: Hi Samara. What's going on?
Morinth: It seems that we are lost in space. Perhaps... forever.
Jacob: Wut? How did that happen?
Morinth: I was just walking by and I thought to myself... this may be the last time I have the chance to share pleasure with another living being.
Jacob: What?
Morinth: I may be ancient, but I still have needs, Jacob.
Jacob: O_O Wut!?
Morinth: Tell me that you want to embrace eternity.
Kasumi: Hey, leech.
Morinth: Oh. Hi. Yes, Shepard? What is it? I'll be there right away.
Kasumi: Hang on here! Unhypnotize the man!
Jacob: ... anything for you, oh mistress.
Kasumi: ... *to Morinth* Nevermind that! *to Jacob* Anything, you say? I know just the thing. *walks off to Kasumi's quarters*
________________________________________________________________________________

Mordin: Hmm... what happens if I add some more to this espresso? What effects will it have on salarian metabolism? *adds some more powder to the drink* Test number one, away. *necks it*
*in the cockpit*
EDI: ... and ooh! There is Noveria. *boom*
Shep: What was that?
EDI: An explosion from the lab. Do not worry.
Shep: DO NOT WORRY!?
EDI: Mordin is perfectly fine. He is reconstructing the hole in the ship with his hands-... oh. He's done.
Mordin: ImsosorrycommanderShepardIcanassureyouthatthiswillneverhappenagain,Iwasmerelyinvestigatingtheffectsof
espressoonmyownmetabolismohlook,isthatthehorseheadnebula,prettyhorsie,aren'tyouaprettyhorsie?
Shep: .... Crap.

Modifié par Sandbox47, 16 septembre 2011 - 06:47 .

[swenson]

Note to self: in ME3, Mordin is forbidden from even hearing the word "espresso".

[Sandbox47]

Note to BSN: use your creativity to make more awesome sauce thingies here.

[Fishy]

Zaeed : So you and Shepard?

Tali : Me and Commander Shepard?

Zaeed : Oh cut the crap with the tittle . I know .

Tali : I know?  Human are interesting .. You know something that i do not know but it's feel that you're thinking that i do know.

Zaeed:  Hmm . I`m pretty sure you're red right now.

Tali :  Our skin ain't red .

Zaeed : Ah forget about it . I just wonder what ki..

Tali reload her shotgun

Zaeed : Okay i got it princess.

[Sandbox47]

What do I have to do to make more people post? Jeez.

[ADLegend21]

give out cookies?

[patocerda]

I really need to go get some sleep, but this one goes to bump this golden thread:

Zaeed: So I heard you killed a traitor...
Garrus: That's right, I... I owed it to my team.
Zaeed: I hate that kind of scumbags...
           Y'know, it reminds me of this Salarian piece of crap who tried to outsmart me once. All it took was one bullet,                       sweet ol' Jessie and he was gone. You can never outsmart bullets, can you?
Garrus: Hmm, I guess not...
            I have to go.
Zaeed: Calibrations to do? Yeah, Jessie never had to be calibrated...not ONCE.
Garrus: No I... I have to think. About...stuff. See ya Zaeed.
Zaeed: Yeah... *to himself* I'd trade any weapon in the terminus... for one more mission with that ****ty old rifle. Good                  times.

Cookies for the reference! 
EDIT: Cookie +1 for Yate!! 

Modifié par patocerda, 21 septembre 2011 - 03:51 .

[Yate]

TF2 Heavy.

Ooh, TF2/ME crossovers! MUST HAPPEN.

[Yate]

TIM: Shepard, there have been rumours of a vast armada approaching from dark space. It's the Reapers Shepard, I'm sure of it.

Shepard: If they're in dark space, we can't exactly fly out to greet them.

TIM: No. We can't fight, not for the time being. But we can prepare. It is likely that the Reapers will be carrying husks, and perhaps other mutated races they've turned into slaves. This is going to be a war, Shepard, not just in space, but on surface as well. We need an army.

Shepard: Once we have proof, the Council and other races will come around. I'm sure of it.

TIM: They'll acknowledge the threat, but be unprepared for it. That is why Cerberus needs to take the lead. I'm sending you nine dossiers on some of our top field operatives. Find them, and prepare them as leaders for the ground forces.

Shepard: Why didn't you tell me about these people when I was recruiting my team?

TIM: These are simple men, Shepard. And they're all human. They would've stained your image. You're our ambassador, and the last thing Cerberus needs is a bunch of idiotic zealots riding around with you.

Shepard: You don't think highly of them.

TIM: They're good at what they do. They have experience in large-scale firefights. And by the time we need them, Reapers will be everywhere, and we'll all have bigger things to worry about than diplomacy.

Shepard: You said these men were with Cerberus. Why do you need me to recruit them?

TIM: As I said, they're a bit unstable. You're skilled in getting people to work for you, Shepard. I'm hoping your reputation alone will inspire them to the cause. If not, do whatever it is you do to make them cooperate.

Shepard: Alright. Tell me about these men.

[swenson]

@Yate - YES. PLEASE.

Heavy/Scout/Pyro/Spy/Sniper/Medic/Engineer/Soldier/Demoman for squadmates in ME3!

Can you imagine what the Engie would do with the Normandy's guns?! They'd be AWESOME!

Modifié par swenson, 21 septembre 2011 - 10:16 .

[fainmaca]

Busy working on my next chapter, but I'm butting my head against a wall just now. Decided to post more quotes while I try to think.

First: This quote comes from a mission where Shepard is investigating some Prothean ruins. He is accompanied by Mordin and Miranda, and two Original Characters. the first is Delexia Tanis, a Turian pirate. The second is the Revenant, the last Collector, who has been gifted the knowledge of the Protheans, enabling him to take on a unique personality free from Reaper control.

DELEXIA: "Hey Revenant."

REVENANT: "Yes, Tanis?"

DELEXIA: "Been meaning to ask. From what I've heard the others say about Collectors and such, I'd always heard that you all could fly. Why don't you? Could be a useful ability on the battlefield."

REVENANT: "Aside from the fact that it makes you more of a target for enemy fire? I do have wings, as did every one of my kin. However, the tissue used in their construction is very delicate, and cannot be regrown. Mine were damaged during a fierce firefight with Vakarian and Massani. I have attempted to repair them many times in the Normandy's Med Bay, but the regrown material is not resilient enough to support my weight in the air."

DELEXIA: "Huh. So… you know how you're a bug-thing?"

REVENANT: "I am insectile in nature, yes. What of it?"

DELEXIA: "So do you need to do any other bug-type habits?"

REVENANT: "Such as?"

DELEXIA: "Well, say you see a nice bunch of roses. Do you feel the need to hump them?"

MIRANDA: "Really! Is this the sort of juvenile discussion we're going to have to tolerate from now on?"

SHEPARD: *sniggers*

DELEXIA: "Well?"

REVENANT: "I do not, no."

DELEXIA: "Well what about-?"

REVENANT: "Miss Tanis, I believe it would be safe to say that, seeing as my species is sentient, the majority of known insect behaviours would not apply."


Number Two: Shepard has been knocked out by piloting the Hammerhead through a volcanic eruption (kind of). He wakes up in a Med Bay to see Miranda tending to him.

MIRANDA: "Commander. How are you feeling?"

SHEPARD: "Unh… Like I just got hit by a Tomkah. What happened?"

MIRANDA: "During the eruption, the Danassa suffered some severe turbulence. You hit your head pretty hard against the dashboard of the Hammerhead."

SHEPARD: "What's the damage?"

MIRANDA: "Fairly minimal, although you will wake up tomorrow with the mother, father and possibly grandparents of all headaches. I guess it's a good thing I let you keep that thick skull of yours when I rebuilt you."

SHEPARD: "I am filled with gratitude right now."

Number Three: Shepard has just re-recruited Samara, a mission that involved a lot of Ardat-Yakshi.


JOKER: "So, uh, that's… that's some pretty heavy stuff Samara's got going on now, huh? I mean, she was always bit cold before, but now she seems like she's just taken a bath in liquid nitrogen."

SHEPARD: "She's been through a lot today, and not just emotionally. I'm not sure what that Rite they performed involved, but I get the feeling I'm better off not knowing. Leaving her family behind can't have been easy either."

JOKER: "Yeah. Good to see you're keeping up the tradition of attracting every dangerous individual in the Galaxy. That's, what, the second Asari brain-eater whose come running after you?"

SHEPARD: "I guess they love a man in uniform. Tell you what, next time, I'll give her your number."

JOKER: "No-ho thanks, Commander. I get enough psychotic female company on this ship without you sending more my way."


Number Four: Shepard and Wrex have just finished deciding what to do with a cure for the Genophage.

SHEPARD: "Thanks, Wrex. I'd best head back up to the Normandy. We've got to be heading out of the system by the end of the day. I'll swing by Fortack's and pick up Grunt. Are you sure you can spare him? You're a little short on warriors after this morning."

WREX: "We'll cope. With this, I'll have more allies than I can count. Besides, I reckon with the Reapers coming, you'll have more need of him than I do. Hell, I'd love to be coming with you too, but I've got responsibilities here, especially now."

SHEPARD: "I understand. Take care, Wrex. Be sure to have your people ready for when the bad guys come calling. Next time you see me, chances are I'll have a whole fleet of the damned things on my ass."

WREX: "No different from any other day, then. Why change old habits now?"


Number Five: Jack approaches Shepard to offer some comfort after the fall of Earth.

JACK: "The whole crew's worried about you, Commander. Ain't seen you around for two days now. Not that seeing you would do them much good. The face fungus doesn't suit you, Commander. You look like **** warmed up."

JACK: "It hits you hard, don't it, seeing how easily they can get at what matters to you. I may not have lived there, hell I never even visited, but Earth meant something, y'know? Its more than where any one person came from, its where we've all come from."

SHEPARD: "It's just… how can we fight them, when we've already lost our homeworld? When I was chasing Saren, when we were going after the Collectors, I was always thinking, 'I'm doing this to keep them from getting to Earth. As long as the Earth's okay, I'll gladly pay any price to stop them'. But now, what's left of Humanity? A few colonies, and a fleet full of refugees."

JACK: "Yeah, it's ****ed up, I'll give you that. But what about Palaven, or Thessia, or Tuchanka? You gonna sit here and mope and let 'em do it to someone else? 'Cause those are the stakes right now. I can't remember where I came from, but I know that I'll lose it if I don't stand and fight. So maybe you're not fighting for Earth anymore. So what? Fight to protect all the other Earths out there.

JACK: "All I can say is, I ain't living the rest of my life like some gyppo Quarian, never setting foot on another planet. Besides, if I had to wear one of those damn suits, how'd I make sure people could see my ink?"

And lastly: Zaeed has just won an arm-wrestling contest versus Grunt. Male Shepard drops by to see what the noise is about.

ZAEED: "Shepard! Care to take a crack at the title?"

SHEPARD: "Not today. I think I'll practice a bit more before I take on the man who can out-wrestle a Krogan."

ZAEED: "That's rich, coming from the Commander who has killed at least a thousand Krogan with nothing more than a handgun."

GRUNT: "Not to mention Warlords Uvenk and Guld. And the Thresher Maw. And-"

SHEPARD: "Alright, alright. I'm a badass, I get it. Just came to see what the noise was about. Thought Grunt might be tearing the ship a new one."

ZAEED: "Eh, Tiny's been behaving himself. I've been making sure of that."

GRUNT: "Hah! You talk big, Human, but you know I could snap you like a twig."

ZAEED: "Try it then, you overgrown lizard."

GRUNT: "If I did, I'd be stuck with the company of the Turian, or that Alliance poster boy Alenko. They're no fun. Altogether too slow to blow something up just for the hell of it."

SHEPARD: "I'm starting to think it's a bad idea to let you two hang out. It feels like I'm holding a candle next to a barrel of gunpowder."

ZAEED: "Don't get your panties in a wad, Tracy. We'll save it for those metal bastards, don't you worry."

Enjoy.

[Sandbox47]

Shep: You know, considering that this is the future-...
Tali: What?
Shep: Well, for people in the year, oh say, 2011, this would be the future.
Tali: Yeah. Sure. Go on.
Shep: Considering that this is the future, the holograms around here are terribly low quality. 
Tali: ... that's true.
Shep: But then again, I don't know why we always try to make everything more visually nice as if it's any of our business. Like... a holographic cat is happy to be the way it is, right?
Tali: Is there a point to this or is it just nonsense again?
Shep: Well I was thinking. 
Tali: Why do you always do that around me?
Shep: 'Cuz I loves you.
Tali: ...  Naw. Alright then.
______________________________________________________________________________________

Garrus: Shepard, a word?
Shep: Sure. 
Garrus: These holograms are too low quality to be certain, but this *points to some part of weapon thingies* is either a deadly heavy metal that is slowly spreading through the Normandy and poisoning humans or a chocolate chip.
Shep: See!? See!? I told you so!
Tali: Yeah. Well done. 
Shep: Y u not impressed!? 
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Shep: The turian walkie see the little rays of ponies dancing?
Garrus: ... No way.
Shep: Your mouths colour my singing with a lustrous disbelief?
Garrus: Milions of ME players and I have to end up with this one.
Shep: You speak of other worlds that pull strings for the puppets?
Garrus: Just .... just ... shut up.
Joker: Well said.
Shep: Your letters that fall into words shine like gold in the pool of mud.
Joker: Yes. Yes that ... is well said too.

I think that there is a cookie for that reference.
______________________________________________________________________________________

Jack: What are you doing?
Jacob: Push ups.
Jack: Why?
Jacob: I need to stay in shape.
Jack: Trampoline shape?
Jacob: 
Jack: 

Modifié par Sandbox47, 23 septembre 2011 - 07:54 .

[EnigmaRage]

So one day I stumbled across a thread, did some reading in an attempt to catch up, took a while, but I finally caught up.  Now I kinda want to post, probably not going to be good, but oh well.  (this isn't really squadmate banter but a conversation that I thought would take place with legion.)

L: Shepard-Commander.
S: I want to talk about you.
L: Specify.
S: Do you think the Geth will help organics in the fight with the Reapers?
L: Without imput from this platform, there is an 80% chance of neutrality and a 20% chance of assistance to organics.  If we are given the chance, we would advocate assistance.  We acknowlege that it will take combined forces to best repel the Reaper threat.
S: Do you think that the Geth will be willing to accept heavy losses?
L: We are not like organics, once organic platforms are deactivated, no viable way exists to reactivate, though you are the exception.  Geth do not share this drawback.
S: The Geth could be powerful allies against the Reapers, I hope they will work with us.
L: We share your consensus.
S: I need to get back to work.

This is EnigmaRage and this is my favorite thread on the forums.

Also, I have a challenge.  Legion is staring into the deep, empty void, what is going through its mind?