Before I knew about hardening Alistair I didn't choose the correct line because I hated it, so it's nice to know there is an alternate version!
Once I found out about "hardening" I loaded a prior save game and did it. I haven't played through with unhardened Alistair but have seen some YouTube videos -- he stays sweet but sort of sad. Once he is hardened, as Polaris said, he seems much more well adjusted. Still funny and sweet but he will occasionally refuse to do what you ask unless you have a
good reason for asking. ("Because I said so" doesn't work as well on hardened Alistair.) If you have a low persuade and choose some really counterintuitive dialog options this can turn into a problem in one specific instance, but I doubt you'll fall into it.
As for Goldanna, I feel sorry for her. She was utterly used by Eamon. Who wouldn't be bitter in her situation? There's a nice gap-filler fanfic about it
here.
As for your Dalish ending up with Alistair, it is possible! You can't be queen, but you can still remain in a romantic relationship with him. I won't spoil it unless you want directions, though. (My first playthrough I cheated and did all the "correct" things to get him to stay with my CE, but wonder if I missed out by not playing "blind.") Good luck!