17177 réponses à ce sujet

[Darth_Trethon]

yukidama wrote...

The juxtaposition of the images in your signature are kind of disturbing 

hahaha lol I haven't really noticed or thought about it really. Lemme try and fix it.

EDIT: there it's fixd

Modifié par Darth_Trethon, 15 janvier 2011 - 04:20 .

[slimgrin]

I like your way of thinking Maria.

[Onyx Jaguar]

This thread promotes hedonism!

[Helena Tylena]

Maria Caliban wrote...

Dave of Canada wrote...

Maria Caliban wrote...

Yes. The entire concept of someone you sleep with only being allowed to sleep with you is selfish. That people slap the word 'love' on it is an insult to love.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not, the forums have corrupted me.

I'm dead serious.

Everyone is selfish to some degree. Healthy couples don't give up all selfish bits of themselves. However, deciding your significant other can't sleep with others is possessiveness, not love. Calling it love is just ignoring that this is something your partner chooses to do for you instead of some natural right.

Would be appropriate here? 'cause that's what I'm feeling.

[In Exile]

Maria Caliban wrote...
I'm dead serious.

Everyone is selfish to some degree. Healthy couples don't give up all selfish bits of themselves. However, deciding your significant other can't sleep with others is possessiveness, not love. Calling it love is just ignoring that this is something your partner chooses to do for you instead of some natural right.

It's a matter of boundaries and compromise, which is what defines a relationship. Fidelity, whether emotional or physical, is about accomodating the feelings of the other person.

Though I would say that what the other person does for you is love, since they are giving something up for the sake of your feelings.

[Dave of Canada]

Sabariel wrote...

But, like I said, why hook up with a human in the first place then? If she cared that much about her people she would find an elf to procreate with instead.

Because not all "love" (as people keep mentioning in this thread) is something that you can turn on and off? Should she actually have feelings for Hawke, does that suddenly mean she means nothing to her people and she shouldn't do anything to help them?

Modifié par Dave of Canada, 15 janvier 2011 - 04:21 .

[Dave of Canada]

Maria Caliban wrote...

I'm dead serious.

Everyone is selfish to some degree. Healthy couples don't give up all selfish bits of themselves. However, deciding your significant other can't sleep with others is possessiveness, not love. Calling it love is just ignoring that this is something your partner chooses to do for you instead of some natural right.

Okay, was just assuming you were being sarcastic to mock my point. Too many are doing it these days, sorry for asking.

[Jarek_Cousland]

Dave of Canada wrote...

Sabariel wrote...

But, like I said, why hook up with a human in the first place then? If she cared that much about her people she would find an elf to procreate with instead.

Because not all "love" (as people keep mentioning in this thread) is something that you can turn on and off? Should she actually have feelings for Hawke, does that suddenly mean she means nothing to her people and she shouldn't do anything to help them?

Certianly sets up a new Romance plot never done before. "The Elf who only wants an elf but cant deny her love for the human".



I'd really like it if that how it was set up, if the romance is even possible.

[Maria Caliban]

Eclipse_9990 wrote...

But if you love someone why would you hurt them by sleeping with someone else?

You can't hurt someone simply by having sex with another person.

I know some people think differently but for most people if their lover cheats on them it hurts.. ALOT.

I've been cheated on. It hurt. It hurt because I trusted someone and they didn't respect me enough to tell me what they were feeling or doing.

However, being cheated on and having one of my lovers have sex with another isn't the same thing. You can cheat on someone without ever mixing body fluids.

[Eski.Moe]

I can't see myself romancing Merrill (unless she is voiced by Amy Acker ) simply because I find her cute but not attractive in a more intimate sense. Granted we've only seen a screenshot but that's the way I'm leaning at the moment. It was similar with Liara in ME. I saw her as a little sister initially and found the prospects of romancing her a bit creepy, haha.

[fredward55]

Wow over 100 for a character that's only been shown for like 2 seconds and is not even confirmed to be ether in your party or your LI

[Eski.Moe]

fredward55 wrote...

Wow over 100 for a character that's only been shown for like 2 seconds and is not even confirmed to be ether in your party or your LI

I think it's been implied on a number of occassions that she is a companion. At least that's the impression I have gotten.

[Maria Caliban]

In Exile wrote...

It's a matter of boundaries and compromise, which is what defines a relationship. Fidelity, whether emotional or physical, is about accomodating the feelings of the other person.

Though I would say that what the other person does for you is love, since they are giving something up for the sake of your feelings.

I agree with this completely.

Onyx Jaguar wrote...

This thread promotes hedonism!

Elves = fantasy hippies = free love.

Modifié par Maria Caliban, 15 janvier 2011 - 04:37 .

[Maria Caliban]

**deleted**

Modifié par Maria Caliban, 15 janvier 2011 - 04:34 .

[Eski.Moe]

You added my banner! Haha. Slickz.

[Maria Caliban]

Your banner is hella cute. It's two Rs however, not one.

[Dave of Canada]

Maria Caliban wrote...

Your banner is hella cute. It's two Rs however, not one.

Nope.

[Eski.Moe]

Dave's got it. Only one 'r'. Initially I assumed it had two but when searching for an image of the blue furball, I found out it had one.

[Onyx Jaguar]

Gotta catch em all

[Sabariel]

Dave of Canada wrote...

Sabariel wrote...

But, like I said, why hook up with a human in the first place then? If she cared that much about her people she would find an elf to procreate with instead.

Because not all "love" (as people keep mentioning in this thread) is something that you can turn on and off? Should she actually have feelings for Hawke, does that suddenly mean she means nothing to her people and she shouldn't do anything to help them?

If her people matter that much to her should she not put the "selfishness" of love aside for them and find an elf to be with instead? Why should only Hawke have to be the one to put "selfishness" aside for her people? And is it not selfish to go into a relationship knowing the other person cannot give you what you want then expecting them to go along with whatever you want?

[Eclipse_9990]

Maria Caliban wrote...

Eclipse_9990 wrote...

But if you love someone why would you hurt them by sleeping with someone else?

You can't hurt someone simply by having sex with another person.

I know some people think differently but for most people if their lover cheats on them it hurts.. ALOT.

I've been cheated on. It hurt. It hurt because I trusted someone and they didn't respect me enough to tell me what they were feeling or doing.

However, being cheated on and having one of my lovers have sex with another isn't the same thing. You can cheat on someone without ever mixing body fluids.

First Bold: True and untrue.. The thing is if the person wants to have an open relationship odds are that most(not all) but most will probably say no.. As the idea of their supposed lover ****ing another girl/guy brings out feelings that cant be described.. Kind of like jealousy but far far more intense..

Some couples might be able to make this work but this is pretty rare. Everyone I know that has tried an open relationship had there relationship end in a loud, emotional, and occasionally violent manor. Hell! Theres a reason women have killed men for their infidelity(and vise versa). Human beings, (and all animals really) are by nature selfish, and selfishness is a good and bad thing. Most people if they care about a person(Especially if they care about a person) are going to feel a bit possessive(doesnt matter how much or how little), man or woman.

I cant possibly imagine that a woman who is possibly sitting at home, and reading a book wouldnt be atleast the slightest bit pissed off that her boyfriend/girlfriend is spending most of his/her time ****ing other people. 
I mean having sex is one of the most intense things you can experience, so many emotions, and feelings swirling about you don't know what to do...Except have more sex.. Its kind of insulting, if someone goes off and experiences those emotions with some stranger rather than the person their supposed to actually be with.
Thats alot of times when a girl or a guy finds out his/her lover has been cheating they usually go for the "rebound" so they can get that sense of being wanted, and closure or some s***. 

So yes I believe that sleeping with someone else while your in a relationship can hurt the person your with.
This girl I know is cheating on her boyfriend and I pretty much told her the first time she mentioned it to me "If you want to sleep with other guys so damn much why don't you just break up with him? Or atleast tell him so he can break up with you."

Second Bold: Also yes I agree you can cheat on someone without ever mixing bodily fluids.. 

Modifié par Eclipse_9990, 15 janvier 2011 - 05:04 .

[Helena Tylena]

Maria Caliban wrote...

Eclipse_9990 wrote...

But if you love someone why would you hurt them by sleeping with someone else?

You can't hurt someone simply by having sex with another person.

I know some people think differently but for most people if their lover cheats on them it hurts.. ALOT.

I've been cheated on. It hurt. It hurt because I trusted someone and they didn't respect me enough to tell me what they were feeling or doing.

However, being cheated on and having one of my lovers have sex with another isn't the same thing. You can cheat on someone without ever mixing body fluids.

I think it all boils down to being open and honest about your feelings to your partner, and being respectful for theirs.
If I'm in a relationship with someone I tell her that I can not just shut off my feelings for other people -be they emotional connections or physical attractions- but that I can -if she wants me to- choose not to act on those feelings. And if she does ask me not to, I won't. If they don't ask me, I will also explicitly ask me if they would have a problem with me doing things that might be considered cheating.

Also note that 'having permission' doesn't mean I just go to bed with anyone. I would never actively seek it out. I just know I wouldn't have to resist temptation quite as badly.

[Maria Caliban]

Dave of Canada wrote...

Maria Caliban wrote...

Your banner is hella cute. It's two Rs however, not one.

Nope.

I see.

[In Exile]

Eclipse_9990 wrote...
First Bold: True and untrue.. The thing is if the person wants to have an open relationship odds are that most(not all) but most will probably say no.. As the idea of their supposed lover ****ing another girl/guy brings out feelings that cant be described.. Kind of like jealousy but far far more intense.. 

I don't want to derail this thread, but it really depends on the kind of person you are, and what you want from a relationship. There are different degrees of open relationship. There are different degrees of boundaries.

You can make an open relationship work. But you have to be on the same page in terms of where both of you are, and what you both want to do, etc. And it naturally lends toward people who aren't sexually possesive. Open relationships, from what I've seen, break apart because it's actually a selfish request. The guy/girl wants to sleep with other people and has opportunities to, but the other person doesn't. That's when it can't work.

Anyway, I apologize for moving the thread off-topic, and won't post on this issue anymore. I just don't agree with the notion of monogamy as the only model for a relationship.

[Loc'n'lol]

fredward55 wrote...

Wow over 100 for a character that's only been shown for like 2 seconds and is not even confirmed to be ether in your party or your LI

This is why they didn't reveal any more of her immediately. Otherwise, the forum would have exploded from the sheer awesome.