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[Esbatty]

Shadowcat101 wrote...

WIP (work in progress) shot of what i'm working on. There is hardly any fan art of merrill in her romance armor, so giving it a good shot. still a way to go, but got all my base objects are done now i just have to build it all up... not looking forward to the chain mail

You don't have access to any tubes or textures of chain?

[mesmerizedish]

Yeah, if you guise are having so much fun stalking me, then why haven't you suggested any pretty palettes for my Merrill outfits?

[Esbatty]

ishmaeltheforsaken wrote...

Yeah, if you guise are having so much fun stalking me, then why haven't you suggested any pretty palettes for my Merrill outfits?

I already did, and besides you can't stalk Exhibitionists.

[mesmerizedish]

Esbatty wrote...

ishmaeltheforsaken wrote...

Yeah, if you guise are having so much fun stalking me, then why haven't you suggested any pretty palettes for my Merrill outfits?

I already did, and besides you can't stalk Exhibitionists.

I was talking to Yuki and Maria, and I'm not an exhibitionist. I'm just flirty.

[Shadowcat101]

Esbatty wrote...

You don't have access to any tubes or textures of chain?

I could find some on the net I’m sure… but I consider that cheating. I seen to like reinventing the wheel all the time, at least that way I know it’s all my handy work .

[Esbatty]

ishmaeltheforsaken wrote...

Esbatty wrote...

ishmaeltheforsaken wrote...

Yeah, if you guise are having so much fun stalking me, then why haven't you suggested any pretty palettes for my Merrill outfits?

I already did, and besides you can't stalk Exhibitionists.

I was talking to Yuki and Maria, and I'm not an exhibitionist. I'm just flirty.

Thats not what your BSN Wikia entry says.

[Maria Caliban]

ishmaeltheforsaken wrote...

...and I'm not an exhibitionist.

Another friendfic ruined!

If you're going to disqualify dudes, you'll want to disqualify me.

[mesmerizedish]

Maria Caliban wrote...

ishmaeltheforsaken wrote...

...and I'm not an exhibitionist.

Another friendfic ruined!

If you're going to disqualify dudes, you'll want to disqualify me.

For the sake of your friendfic, I could be an exhibitionist.

And who am I disqualifying? And why am I disqualifying them?

[EDIT] What BSN wikia entry? >.>

Modifié par ishmaeltheforsaken, 10 avril 2011 - 11:29 .

[Esbatty]

ishmaeltheforsaken wrote...

Maria Caliban wrote...

ishmaeltheforsaken wrote...

...and I'm not an exhibitionist.

Another friendfic ruined!

If you're going to disqualify dudes, you'll want to disqualify me.

For the sake of your friendfic, I could be an exhibitionist.

And who am I disqualifying? And why am I disqualifying them?

Wait... if I'm being disqualified does that make my green *sniffle* Participant Ribbon a lie?

[Maria Caliban]

ishmaeltheforsaken wrote...

For the sake of your friendfic, I could be an exhibitionist.

Thank goodness. Teh raging stallions of your bosoms must be shared with the world.

And who am I disqualifying? And why am I disqualifying them?

I thought you said guy opinions didn't count? Am I going to have to hit the back button? That sounds like work.

[Maria Caliban]

ishmaeltheforsaken wrote...

[EDIT] And what color scarf would work best on the red robes? (this question is directed to everyone; I don't expect Esbatty to have any meaningful input; he's a man)

Found it!

[mesmerizedish]

First, using something to justify an individuals disqualification doesn't mean that same something will disqualify everyone else.

Second, desire "spirits" are beyond gender. Your opinion matters to me more than most anyone else's!

[EDIT] Raging stallions of my bosoms? Have you been drinking? Are you high?

[EDIT again] Don't get me wrong, I LIKE this Maria. It's just not a familiar Maria.

Modifié par ishmaeltheforsaken, 10 avril 2011 - 11:54 .

[Maria Caliban]

Yes, I am beyond gender. I assumed that you disqualified Esbatty for being a dude because dudes supposedly have poor judgement when it comes to color and fashion. Maria also has poor judgement in this regards.

Anyways: purple. I like Merrill and I like purple, so Merrill should be purple.

No raging stallions? What about leaping antelopes? Charging water buffalo? Frenzied wolverines?

[mesmerizedish]

Why do I feel like my bosoms are trying desperately to escape me? >.> I like leaping antelopes best.

I got the scarf to be purple, but it was with the gold robes, and I didn't like it. I'll try purple robes after I hopefully get some sleep. Do you have a scarf color suggestion? Maybe the pink scarf would work with purple robes...

[Knight of Dane]

RVonE wrote...

Knight of Dane wrote...

Blackout62 wrote...

Knight of Dane wrote...

Updated my fic, the link is in my signature.
Direct link to chapter 6: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6831578/6/
Hope it works.

You need to start a new paragraph with every change of speaker.

Example:
"Buy me a drink?" A creamy accent came from the door to his room, it
opened and he instantly recognized the uniform of the seekers. It wasn't
Cassandra though. "Huh, are you 'seeking' me again?" He asked back to
her. "What do you want? Your colleague already questioned me and I still
have no idea where the champion is." The red haired woman sat down in
front of him and tossed a small pouch of coins towards him. "You are a
merchant, yes? This is a deal you and I make, not you and the chantry."

Multiple times while reading I couldn't figure out who was speaking. It should read as:

"Buy me a drink?" A creamy accent came from the door to his room, it
opened and he instantly recognized the uniform of the seekers. It wasn't
Cassandra though.
"Huh, are you 'seeking' me again?" He asked back to
her. "What do you want? Your colleague already questioned me and I still
have no idea where the champion is."
The red haired woman sat down in
front of him and tossed a small pouch of coins towards him. "You are a
merchant, yes? This is a deal you and I make, not you and the chantry."

I'd understand if you don't go back through your previous chapters and fix this but doing so in later chapters will lead to the reader more easily comprehending the the shifts in dialogue.

This was pretty prcise, thank you! I have had that critic with paragraphp before, my issue was just that people seemed to tell me that paragraph's were something else all the time.
I don't know how to translate the word to Danish, I'm not sure if "Paragraf" is the same thing entirely.

I will work on it.

No, the English paragraph is not the same as what you understand as paragraf. In Dutch, we make a distinction between a 'paragraaf' and an 'alinea'. The English 'paragraph' translates to the Dutch 'alinea'.
I looked around on some translation sites and some sites suggested that the Dutch 'alinea' translates to the Danish 'afsnit'. Does that make sense to you?

Okay, now I'm working on the next chapter, just thought it post a teaser and ask if you guys think that this is more like it. (I have tried working it like the example with new paragraphs.)

*

Thea looked at Bethany behind her then back at Cullen, “Then tell me what you want, I’m listening – for now.” She sheathed her sword behind her back and crossed her arms.
“The mage is a blood mage, he's from Fereldens’ Circle of Magi; he was sentenced to death by my former Knight-Commander, Gregoir. His name is Jowan and he was very close to your cousin, Thea Amell, before she joined the Grey Wardens.” Cullen took off the amulet and looked at it. “He is actually the reason why she became a warden, he was trying to flee the Circle tower with a… Acquaintance of his…”
“But…?” Thea replied.
*
New lines each time there is a new speaker and no new lines when it's the same speaker. Hope i get it all right this time.

[Marcin K]

Esbatty wrote...

Shadowcat101 wrote...

WIP (work in progress) shot of what i'm working on. There is hardly any fan art of merrill in her romance armor, so giving it a good shot. still a way to go, but got all my base objects are done now i just have to build it all up... not looking forward to the chain mail

You don't have access to any tubes or textures of chain?

well it's all looking nicely

[Emperor Iaius I]

The mixed metaphors are making my head spin.

[Zjarcal]

broutefoin wrote...

And here is the question I have for you fine people of the Merrill support thread: should I draw ManHawk or FemHawke. (also cant decide on Warrior Hawke or Mage Hawke)  I'm going with a majority vote.

Lady Hawke! 

Any class, Lady Hawke is equally awesome whatever the class.

[kreite]

Shadowcat101 wrote...

broutefoin wrote...

And here is the question I have for you fine people of the Merrill support thread: should I draw ManHawk or FemHawke. (also cant decide on Warrior Hawke or Mage Hawke)  I'm going with a majority vote.

Male and mage gets my vote. looks pertty good so far

Seconded

[The Uncanny]

Zjarcal wrote...

broutefoin wrote...

And here is the question I have for you fine people of the Merrill support thread: should I draw ManHawk or FemHawke. (also cant decide on Warrior Hawke or Mage Hawke)  I'm going with a majority vote.

Lady Hawke! 

Any class, Lady Hawke is equally awesome whatever the class.

Yes! FemHawke! Make it so! 

[Maria Caliban]

Knight of Dane wrote...

Thea looked at Bethany behind her then back at Cullen, “Then tell me what you want, I’m listening – for now.” She sheathed her sword behind her back and crossed her arms.
“The mage is a blood mage, he's from Fereldens’ Circle of Magi; he was sentenced to death by my former Knight-Commander, Gregoir. His name is Jowan and he was very close to your cousin, Thea Amell, before she joined the Grey Wardens.” Cullen took off the amulet and looked at it. “He is actually the reason why she became a warden, he was trying to flee the Circle tower with a… Acquaintance of his…”
“But…?” Thea replied.

Thea looked at Bethany behind her then back at Cullen. “Then tell me what you want, I’m listening – for now.” She sheathed her sword behind her back and crossed her arms.

“The mage is a blood mage from Fereldens’ Circle of Magi. My former Knight-Commander, Gregoir, sentenced him to death. [removed passive] His name is Jowan and he was very close to your cousin, Thea Amell, before she joined the Grey Wardens.” Cullen took off the amulet and looked at it. “He is actually the reason why she became a Warden an… acquaintance of his…”

“But…?” Thea replied.
-------------------------------

The Warden and the Champion have the same first name?

You need white space between paragraphs online. A single line break will make your dialogue difficult to read because unlike print, there is no indentation for a new line. The only exception to this might be short bits of dialogue.

"Where are we going?" she asked.
"How should I know?"
"You're the one steering!"
"I'm an excellent pilot," he replied, "but I never claimed to be a navigator."

Modifié par Maria Caliban, 10 avril 2011 - 05:42 .

[_Somebody]

kreite wrote...

Shadowcat101 wrote...

broutefoin wrote...

And here is the question I have for you fine people of the Merrill support thread: should I draw ManHawk or FemHawke. (also cant decide on Warrior Hawke or Mage Hawke)  I'm going with a majority vote.

Male and mage gets my vote. looks pertty good so far

Seconded

Yes, male Hawke.

[DoNotIngest]

I.... I think Male Hawke is winning!


And everybody knows that purple clothing = yellow scarf. Derp.



EDIT: Add another one for male Hawke. I can't decide whether he should be 2h warrior or blood mage, so don't put anything for class.

Modifié par DoNotIngest, 10 avril 2011 - 05:44 .

[_Somebody]

DoNotIngest wrote...

I.... I think Male Hawke is winning!


And everybody knows that purple clothing = yellow scarf. Derp.

Then she'd look like Wario.

[Emperor Iaius I]

Male, female, doesn't matter. As long as s/he's a mage.