Knight of Dane wrote...
Thea looked at Bethany behind her then back at Cullen, “Then tell me what you want, I’m listening – for now.” She sheathed her sword behind her back and crossed her arms.
“The mage is a blood mage, he's from Fereldens’ Circle of Magi; he was sentenced to death by my former Knight-Commander, Gregoir. His name is Jowan and he was very close to your cousin, Thea Amell, before she joined the Grey Wardens.” Cullen took off the amulet and looked at it. “He is actually the reason why she became a warden, he was trying to flee the Circle tower with a… Acquaintance of his…”
“But…?” Thea replied.
Thea looked at Bethany behind her then back at Cullen
. “Then tell me what you want, I’m listening – for now.” She sheathed her sword behind her back and crossed her arms.
“The mage is a blood mage from Fereldens’ Circle of Magi. My former Knight-Commander, Gregoir, sentenced him to death.
[removed passive] His name is Jowan and he was very close to your cousin, Thea Amell, before she joined the Grey Wardens.” Cullen took off the amulet and looked at it. “He is actually the reason why she became a
Warden
an…
acquaintance of his…”
“But…?” Thea replied.
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The Warden and the Champion have the same first name?
You need white space between paragraphs online. A single line break will make your dialogue difficult to read because unlike print, there is no indentation for a new line. The only exception to this might be short bits of dialogue.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"How should I know?"
"You're the one steering!"
"I'm an excellent pilot," he replied, "but I never claimed to be a navigator."
Modifié par Maria Caliban, 10 avril 2011 - 05:42 .