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[Pseudo the Mustachioed]

The second installment of The Stone Heartbreaker by the esteemed and highly mysterious author of The Stone Temptress.

I wonder how far off it would be to say that perhaps Merrill collects and reads these?

Modifié par Pseudocognition, 18 février 2011 - 03:37 .

[namedforthemoon]

Lol, thanks. It's going slow due the mouse not wanting to highlight text and stay highlighted. My husband said he'd get us a new mouse, but I'm still waiting on it.

[HolyJellyfish]

Varric: To be frank, I am startled you were able to find me and figure out the connection between Hawke and I...
Cassandra: It wasn't difficult, Dwarf. Not when you are on the cover of every single damned Romance novel famous throughout Thedas.
Varric: My reputation exceeds me.
Cassandra: Give me a break. It took us THREE HOURS to get past the screaming horde of women pounding outside your door.
Varric: And yet you couldn't wait in line! If you are so desperate for an autogra-
Cassandra: SILENCE!

[Anarya]

Glorious! Just who IS writing these things, anyway??



<---disapproves (-99)

[Pseudo the Mustachioed]

Anarya wrote...

Glorious! Just who IS writing these things, anyway??

Brother Genitalia.

[HolyJellyfish]

Anarya wrote...

Glorious! Just who IS writing these things, anyway??

<---disapproves (-99)

My guess is that they are all romantic spin-offs of the legend of the Champion of Kirkwall. Let's not even dive into the massive amount of fanfiction.

[Chibi Elemental]

If I cannot have him as my hawks love interest they are so going to be snark buddies :3

[Leonia]

Pseudocognition wrote...

Anarya wrote...

Glorious! Just who IS writing these things, anyway??

Brother Genitalia.

Where do you reckon he's hiding all these, um, novels? I'd like to do some research..for science..

[KawaiiKatie]

I'm seriously loving the Stone Heartbreaker novels! If I could draw, I'd do a really horrible Carver/Varric version.

And I would title it: Carved in Stone.

[mellifera]

Haha, I love the embossed gold lettering. Makes it even classier, you know?

KawaiiKatie wrote...

I'm seriously loving the Stone Heartbreaker novels! If I could draw, I'd do a really horrible Carver/Varric version.

And I would title it: Carved in Stone.

...... AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

[Apollo Starflare]

Pseudocognition wrote...

Gold. Pure fried gold.

I wonder how far off it would be to say that perhaps Merrill collects and reads these?

I wouldn't be surprised, can just picture her and Lady Hawke off to one side whispering and looking at something the others can't see while sneaking glances at Varric and giggling.

[aimo_ahmed]

Pseudocognition wrote...


The second installment of The Stone Heartbreaker by the esteemed and highly mysterious author of The Stone Temptress.

I wonder how far off it would be to say that perhaps Merrill collects and reads these?

Oh god, this is so priceless  I loved that it won't look out of place at the romance section in bookstores XD Varric may not be LI, but his romantic potential lives on in these XD

There is more to come in The Stone Heartbreaker series, for sure dohohoho

[Apollo Starflare]

The Stone Heartbreaker series has to be one of the best things to come out of this thread. If the devs were ever to put a fan related easter egg into DA3 or DLC or something I would love it if it was an in game copy of one of the books (even if it was just a reference to the title).



Oh and great work on the OP Moon, looks awesome.

[Meyne]

Totally not into romance novels, but for the Stone Heartbreaker...

[Saberchic]

I love these covers you guys are coming up with! This is why the Varric thread rules!

[jackkel dragon]

We could buy ME: Revelation and Ascension in ME2. I'd love to buy a copy of "The Stone Temptress" or "The Stone Heartbreaker" in a DA game, even if it was just dead weight! It could even add codex entries for the *ahem* less steamy chapters. I mean, BioWare is already good at teasing...

[tmp7704]

Pseudocognition wrote...

The second installment of The Stone Heartbreaker by the esteemed and highly mysterious author of The Stone Temptress.

Sooo cheesy, it's epic

[Maugrim]

The should definitely add The Stone Heartbreaker as a third book for getting one million demo downloads. The only question would be what benefit you get from reading it.

[mellifera]

makenzieshepard wrote...

The should definitely add The Stone Heartbreaker as a third book for getting one million demo downloads. The only question would be what benefit you get from reading it.

+10 Chest Hair Growth. For both sexes.

[Pseudo the Mustachioed]

yukidama wrote...

makenzieshepard wrote...

The should definitely add The Stone Heartbreaker as a third book for getting one million demo downloads. The only question would be what benefit you get from reading it.

+10 Chest Hair Growth. For both sexes.

I was thinking a debuff.
"Weak in the Knees: You suffer a minor penalty to strength and constitution, and will never look at Varric the same way again."

[jackkel dragon]

Reading the Stone Heartbreaker allows you to set up and destroy relationships everywhere. Think your sibling needs some "love"? Think that couple is too cliche? Look no further! (Now with unlimited uses. Overpowered DLC is a must.)

[Pseudo the Mustachioed]

Giving a companion The Stone Heartbreaker gives them full friendship or rivalry depending on what path you're on. If in a romantic relationship, it triggers the romance cutscene, right then and there.

Modifié par Pseudocognition, 18 février 2011 - 05:50 .

[Hedera]

Pseudocognition wrote...

Giving a companion The Stone Heartbreaker gives them full friendship or rivalry depending on what path you're on. If in a romantic relationship, it triggers the romance cutscene, right then and there.

It doesn't even change the setting.  The nearest bed-sized object is used.

[mellifera]

Pseudocognition wrote...

yukidama wrote...

makenzieshepard wrote...

The should definitely add The Stone Heartbreaker as a third book for getting one million demo downloads. The only question would be what benefit you get from reading it.

+10 Chest Hair Growth. For both sexes.

I was thinking a debuff.
"Weak in the Knees: You suffer a minor penalty to strength and constitution, and will never look at Varric the same way again."

Hawke's chest hair would probably shrivel up and fall off in shame of never being able to live up to Varric's when they first meet anyway. It explains why male Hawke has a shiny, pasty bald chest (I'm still offended by that, btw)

cgrimm54 wrote...

Pseudocognition wrote...

Giving a companion The Stone Heartbreaker gives them full friendship or rivalry depending on what path you're on. If in a romantic relationship, it triggers the romance cutscene, right then and there.

It doesn't even change the setting. &nbsp;The nearest bed-sized object is used.

Or, Hawke starts crying over what s/he is missing out on and said companion consoles them.... Or maybe they both start crying...

Modifié par yukidama, 18 février 2011 - 05:58 .

[Nova-FoV]

Oh dear, these romance novels are killing me. XD

Since I'll be with my family over the long weekend I doubt I'll have time to do anything, but next week someone remind me and I'll try to adapt this monstrosity. (Don't the poses just work so well??)

Still determined to draw a passable Varric.

PS: Named! OP looks fantastic! Love the color coding!

Modifié par Nova-FoV, 18 février 2011 - 05:59 .