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Varric Tethras: Chest Hair & Dwarven Goodness 3.0 "Say Hello To Bianca!"


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#676
mellifera

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Pseudocognition wrote...

Bianca is decorated with paint made from the ashes of his dead wife.

This **** writes itself.
Though I think Mary sort of hinted that there is no dead wife.


Mary Kirby wrote...

Me: Hey, Varric!

Varric: I knew you'd be back sooner or later, Half Pint.

Me: I've got a slew of questions from the -- wait. Are you putting leave-in conditioner on your chest hair?

Varric: Keeps it silky smooth. Hit me with your questions.

Q: Do arrows bounce harmlessly off of you because of your overwhelming awesomeness?

No. Don't be ridiculous. Arrows don't bounce off of me because I'm awesome, Half Pint. Arrows swerve to avoid hitting me because my coat is tailored Antivan leather, and only the filthiest nug-lickers in existence would punch holes in a coat this fine.

Q. Do you have a tragic past?

Have you met my family? Never mind, of course they haven't. Tell them it's not so much "tragic" as "sardonic."

Q. What about a dead wife? Orphaned kid?

No, I'm trying to quit.

Q. How about a dark side, got one of those?

There's about twenty-five people in this town who want to kill me, my entire family, and maybe some of our pets over business deals. Personally, I wouldn't call it so much "dark" as "shady."

Anyway, if you don't mind, Half Pint, I'm meeting Unnamed Pirate for a game of cards. I'll be in touch if you've got anything else.


Hah. Unnamed Pirate.

Modifié par yukidama, 21 février 2011 - 08:13 .


#677
Pseudo the Mustachioed

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No dead wife then.

Just a trail of heartbroken... everything.

#678
Duncan Anderson

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Anarya wrote...

Bianca is possessed by the spirit of his dead wife.

Dammit now I really want to know how Bianca got her name.


And he's never going to tell you.

Congratulations, you have just been Varric-ed.

#679
mellifera

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Duncan Anderson wrote...

Anarya wrote...

Bianca is possessed by the spirit of his dead wife.

Dammit now I really want to know how Bianca got her name.


And he's never going to tell you.

Congratulations, you have just been Varric-ed.


I can see this happening. Fffffff BioWare.

#680
Pseudo the Mustachioed

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Bianca mystery > Tali face mystery.

#681
Anarya

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Duncan Anderson wrote...

Anarya wrote...

Bianca is possessed by the spirit of his dead wife.

Dammit now I really want to know how Bianca got her name.


And he's never going to tell you.

Congratulations, you have just been Varric-ed.


*Just* been Varric-ed? Considering his awesomeness compelled me to make Varric Thread #1 from just one concept art piece, I'd say I got Varric-ed months and months ago...

#682
mellifera

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Anarya is the Andraste to the Chest Hair's Maker.

Modifié par yukidama, 21 février 2011 - 08:39 .


#683
Inzhuna

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Hey everyone, I really enjoyed seeing all the book covers on deviantart, so here is my little contribution - a new romantic adventure with a horror twist! (hehe, and excuse the crappy drawing, I am nowhere as good as the amazing artists here ^_^)

Posted Image

#684
KawaiiKatie

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@Inzhuna Chilling! But really funny at the same time--probably because "Wynne's Book Club" cracks me up. Oddly enough, Merrill would probably subscribe to it.

#685
Xewaka

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The critic blurbs are a nice touch.

#686
Pseudo the Mustachioed

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It is so indulgently melodramatic. Well done :D

#687
GameBoyish

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@Inzhuna That's pretty awesome! And the critic blurbs are lol You should draw more, and put it in the Varric FanClub on dA.

offtopic: You commissioned my sis (DragonReine) right?

#688
aimo_ahmed

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Inzhuna wrote...

Hey everyone, I really enjoyed seeing all the book covers on deviantart, so here is my little contribution - a new romantic adventure with a horror twist! (hehe, and excuse the crappy drawing, I am nowhere as good as the amazing artists here ^_^)

Posted Image


Considering this is a lurve between a magical girl and a magic-less dwarf, I can foresee tragedy :crying:

Teehee, I love the word play with the title...the 'Bleeding Heart' can be literal or metaphorical, or both at the same time :3

Love the blurbs as well :D Brother Genitalia would be proud to have received such accolades :3

#689
Herr Uhl

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I'd like to see a Varric/Wade one called "The Stone Hearthbreaker".

#690
KawaiiKatie

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Herr Uhl wrote...

I'd like to see a Varric/Wade one called "The Stone Hearthbreaker".


PFFFFFFFFFT- OH, SWEET MAKER, I JUST DIED A LITTLE. :lol:

Clearly, you are a genius. I love it!

#691
Fraevar

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Inzhuna wrote...

Hey everyone, I really enjoyed seeing all the book covers on deviantart, so here is my little contribution - a new romantic adventure with a horror twist! (hehe, and excuse the crappy drawing, I am nowhere as good as the amazing artists here ^_^)

[picsnip]


I love it! Hits teh draaaaama right on the head ^_^

#692
Garden of Heaven

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Wow! I must say I'm loving the fanart here, quite amazing indeed.

#693
aimo_ahmed

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Garden of Heaven wrote...

Wow! I must say I'm loving the fanart here, quite amazing indeed.


Thanks for the kind words! :) You like seeing 'em, we artists will keep making 'em :)

#694
Garden of Heaven

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aimo_ahmed wrote...

Garden of Heaven wrote...

Wow! I must say I'm loving the fanart here, quite amazing indeed.


Thanks for the kind words! :) You like seeing 'em, we artists will keep making 'em :)


Please do, I have read the other character threads, by far this one is best. Posted Image

#695
Inzhuna

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Thanks a lot guys, I'm happy you like it :D

@Trivia: Yep! Your sis is amazing!

#696
Guest_fibchopkin_*

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@Inzhuna- this... may be my favorite one so far. I love how you've got the cheesey vampire-romance look going!

#697
Starflower2525

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I am really loving the fanart everyone

#698
GameBoyish

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Garden of Heaven wrote...

aimo_ahmed wrote...

Garden of Heaven wrote...

Wow! I must say I'm loving the fanart here, quite amazing indeed.


Thanks for the kind words! :) You like seeing 'em, we artists will keep making 'em :)


Please do, I have read the other character threads, by far this one is best. Posted Image


Glad you're enjoying the Varric thread! :lol:

#699
Garden of Heaven

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Inzhuna wrote...

Thanks a lot guys, I'm happy you like it :D
@Trivia: Yep! Your sis is amazing!


Yep the novel idea is really good, I loled at each one of them. Posted Image 
It's quite a shame he's not romanceable, I still haven't got over it. Posted Image 

#700
Apollo Starflare

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Ploppy wrote...

Posted Image

"Varric will never tell how Bianca got her name, but her effectiveness is undeniable"

1. Official Biographer (friend)
One day Varric will tell your story.

Attack speed +5%
Dodge chance +5%
Passive

2. Unofficial Biographer (rival)
One day Varric will tell your story - whether you like it or not!

5% chance of dropping into stealth whenever Varric takes damage.
Duration: 5 sec.
Passive

3. Rhyming Triplet (req. lvl 7)
Varric shoots three bolts in quick succession, turning his opponent into a pin cushion.

Damage per bolt: 513

Cost: 20 Stam.
Cooldown: 10 sec.
Activated Ability

4. Nameless Grace (req. lvl 11, Rhyming Triplet, 2 pts in Sharpshooter)

Varric breaks the rules as appropriate and adds two bolts to his triplet.
Upgrade

5. Bianca's Song (req. lvl 9)

Varric hums a little melody and reminisces about the unrelatable story of how Bianca got her name. There is no better way for him to concentrate.

Attack: +20%
Crit chance: +20%

Reserved Stamina: 20%
Cooldown: 5 sec.
Sustained

6. Embellishment (req. lvl 13, Bianca's Song, 3 pts in Sharpshooter)

Varric adds another stanza to his tune.

Attack speed: +20%
Movement speed: +20%
Crit damage: +30%
Upgrade

7. Well Oiled (req. lvl 12, Bianca's Song, Rhyming Triplet, 3 pts in Sharpshooter)

Varric is a busy man. Time is money, and now it's time for someone to die.

Attack speed: +20%
Passive

8. Pushback (req. lvl 8, Rhyming Triplet)

As merchant prince, Varric knows that the way forward sometimes leads through a well placed bribe, other times through a well placed bolt.

Damage: 171
Physical Force: x20

Cost: 15 stam.
Cooldown: 15 secs.
Activated Ability

9. Blowback (req. lvl 12, Pushback, 2 pts in Sharpshooter)

Pushback is now stronger and can be used more often.

Damage: +171
Physical Force: +800% against staggered targets
Cooldown: -5 sec.
Upgrade

10. Extension (req. level 13, Bianca's Song, 4 pts. in Sharpshooter)

Nobody endures overtime as stoically as a dwarf.

Stamina regen rate: +50%
Passive

Best spec tree in the game, easily :D


This. Thanks for the translation!

Although in a weird way a Dwarf bard isn't so unusual is it? Half of Thorin's Company seemed to be most at home playing music and such.