122 réponses à ce sujet

[grregg]

HK-47: "Translation: Ninety-eight percent probability that members of the miniature organics tribe are being held by Sand People, master. Doubtless he wishes assistance."
Revan: "And what about the other two percent?"
HK-47: "Translation: Two percent probability that the miniature organic is simply looking for trouble and needs to be blasted. That may be wishful thinking on my part, master."

[Isaidlunch]

Leliana: "I never dreamed I would ever lay my eyes on the Urn of Sacred Ashes...I... I have no words to express..."

Wynne: "This is a great honour. I will treasure this moment forever."

Sten: "Congratulations, you have found a waste-bin."



Oh Sten

[kirkonacid]

It's isn't one line per say, but I almost died from laughter the first time I heard this:

Shale: Why does the swamp witch still travel with the Grey Wardens?

Morrigan: You are of the opinion that I should not be?

Shale: I am curious. It seems as if it has little reason to stay.

Morrigan: The same could be said of you. There is no control rod commanding your presence, golem.

Shale: I have no history, and thus no purpose. The same cannot be said for the swamp witch. Its purpose is simply unknown.

Morrigan: Keep asking questions and I shall turn into a bird. I can do that.

Shale: (Snorts) I have no fear of birds.

Morrigan: Oh, I didn't say you were afraid. I would simply hover out of reach, hovering, waiting until...

Shale: Enough! I shall be silent.

Morrigan: Excellent choice.

[CroGamer002]

Video Games | | HK-47 Definition of Love

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

lol

Best HK-47 line, maybe.

Modifié par Mesina2, 16 février 2011 - 08:26 .

[DukeOfNukes]

From ME1: "Kitt says he is happy to give HUMAN audiences a chance to judge Hamlet on his actions rather than his emotions."

I don't think most people get the line though...



Jolee from KOTOR: "You know what I hate? Well, lots of things, actually. But I'm old, and easily annoyed."

Actually, I love anything from Jolee.



And not a single line...but Shales fear of Pigeons cracks me up...if I had to pick one:

* Shale: So here is a question for the painted elf...

* Zevran: Painted elf? Oh, that's me! I do like that.

* Shale: Am I to understand correctly that the painted elf is a "crow"?

* Zevran: Not literally, but... yes. I am a Crow.

* Shale: As in a bird.

* Zevran: Is there another sort?

* Shale: So the painted elf assaults helpless statuary with its feces?

* Zevran: If given sufficient cause, why not?

* Shale: That is outrageous! The painted elf will stay away from me. Or else.

* Zevran: (Sighs) I get a lot of that.

[Ulathar]

"Translation: 2% probability that the miniature organic is simply looking for trouble and needs to be blasted. That may be wishful thinking on my part, master."

- HK-47



There are many funny lines, though, so I don't think there is one line that is the funniest.

[Moondoggie]

Some of the banter lines Zevran had were pretty hilarious that whole set he has with Wynne are great favourite from that



Wynne: I think it's about time we talk seriously



Zevran: Of your busom?

[vometia]

Is it bad to be so amused by Zevran's incorrigible lechery?

[USflyers12AF]

Joker (talking to himself): "This is all Joker's fault, what a tool he was. I have to spend all day computing Pi because he plugged in the overlord."



EDI: "I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees"

(Joker: * Terrified Look *)

EDI: "That is a joke"

[Veex]

HK-47: "Answer: Simply that the distinction between 'killer' and 'killee' be a clear one. I cannot kill of my own volition, naturally."
Revan: "I don't think 'killee' is a word."
HK-47: "Expletive: Damn it, master, I am an assassination droid... not a dictionary!"

Modifié par Veex, 16 février 2011 - 01:20 .

[Ponce de Leon]

The Bhaalspawn's line to Portalbendarwinden :

Ok, I've just about had my FILL of riddle asking, quest assigning, insult throwing, pun hurling, hostage taking, iron mongering, smart arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!

[Morbo]

Pretty much every line by Jan Jansen in BG2, though mostly they're not single lines but part of some funny story usually involving himself or one his many relatives.

Keldorn: It is not your place to judge my affairs. You must learn to respect your leaders.
Jan: I do respect my leaders. This has nothing to do with them. This reminds me of the chapter where the paladin first makes passionate love to the flesh golem. What a beautiful scene...
Keldorn: Begone, gnome, lest my honor demand I perform acts that you shall regret.
Jan: 'Fleshy, honey,' the paladin said. 'Yes, baby?' said the golem...

Jan: Well, there goes the wizard with a body in tow. Not the sort of thing you see every day unless you happen to be living with a necromancer. I did, once, when I was working for Golodon. He used to come into the tower every second day with a body over his shoulder. I would look at him all suspicious-like and ask him where he found it, and he would just shrug and say vaguely, "oh... around". It took me a while, but eventually I decided Golodon wasn't being entirely above-board with me on the body issue. Since then, I've never trusted a wizard with more arms and legs than he was born with... unless he's been polymorphed, of course, but even then it's usually wisest to keep your distance.

There's also the hilarious ****** smuggling conversation he has with Aerie that I really wish I could find someplace for copy pasting (it's too long to remember the exact wording).

Also from BG2... "One has lots of time for reflection while waiting for the ENDLESS WAVES OF BAD DOGGIE WEREWOLF MONSTERS THAT CHEW YOUR TOES WHILE YOU SLEEP!!"

Modifié par Morbo, 16 février 2011 - 03:26 .

[Druss99]

Morbo wrote...

Pretty much every line by Jan Jansen in BG2, though mostly they're not single lines but part of some funny story usually involving himself or one his many relatives.

Keldorn: It is not your place to judge my affairs. You must learn to respect your leaders.
Jan: I do respect my leaders. This has nothing to do with them. This reminds me of the chapter where the paladin first makes passionate love to the flesh golem. What a beautiful scene...
Keldorn: Begone, gnome, lest my honor demand I perform acts that you shall regret.
Jan: 'Fleshy, honey,' the paladin said. 'Yes, baby?' said the golem...

Jan: Well, there goes the wizard with a body in tow. Not the sort of thing you see every day unless you happen to be living with a necromancer. I did, once, when I was working for Golodon. He used to come into the tower every second day with a body over his shoulder. I would look at him all suspicious-like and ask him where he found it, and he would just shrug and say vaguely, "oh... around". It took me a while, but eventually I decided Golodon wasn't being entirely above-board with me on the body issue. Since then, I've never trusted a wizard with more arms and legs than he was born with... unless he's been polymorphed, of course, but even then it's usually wisest to keep your distance.

There's also the hilarious ****** smuggling conversation he has with Aerie that I really wish I could find someplace for copy pasting (it's too long to remember the exact wording).

Also from BG2... "One has lots of time for reflection while waiting for the ENDLESS WAVES OF BAD DOGGIE WEREWOLF MONSTERS THAT CHEW YOUR TOES WHILE YOU SLEEP!!"

:lol:
I've been looking for his conversation with Viconia where she questions the PC on why Jan was brought along but I'm having the same problem you are with the Aerie conversation.

[Morbo]

Good ol' Wikiquote to the rescue...

Aerie: You seem to be limping, Jan. Have you been hurt recently?
Jan: No, lass, I’m not hurt and the limp is not new. I’ve had it as long as you’ve known me. 'Tis a wooden leg you see. I was smuggling crackers into Waterdeep several years back. The Council had outlawed them due to near constant ******-related debauchery, you see... I couldn’t let THAT pass. The Council had sealed off all ports and mobilized the army to stop all ****** entry. The city was shut down, martial law was declared and people huddled in their homes for fear and want of crackers. I could not stand idly by while such persecution was visited on the somewhat innocent peoples of Waterdeep. So I smuggled crackers. Salted, unsalted, and herb-riddled alike, it mattered not. All came in and all were consumed in secret orgies of ******-related tomfoolery. Then came the unpleasant business with the hanging. I hadn’t seen Picklefeather’s eyes bulge like that since that Wyvern kicked him in the ba... (Oops! Innocent elvish lass, have to watch the tongue) uh... in the arm. (Yes, that will do.) The moral of the story is, you reap what you sow. I still own a warehouse full of saltines. I send a box each year to all my friends. Seem to have fewer friends each year as a result, but that's to be expected.
Aerie: What does that have to do with your wooden leg?
Jan: What wooden leg? I have no wooden leg.

Modifié par Morbo, 16 février 2011 - 03:35 .

[Swordfishtrombone]

^Jan is awesome.

[wolfsite]

Joker: "ETA to pickup about 8 minutes"
Kaiden: "Not much room for error"
Wrex: "If I die in here, I'll kill him!"

[contextual_entity]

Most things Henpecked Hou says:



"That was astonishing! I haven't seen such martial skills in an eatery since the last time I added ginger to my wife's hot and sour soup!"

"As I mentioned, I am but a simple bun master, with a dear wife who has turned my life into a miserable cesspool devoid of humor and excitement. Bless her soul."

"Life is not all bad though. I may have lost all my dignity and self-respect, along with my ability to fight or even make a tight fist, but I am a bun master of some renown."

[Mastermadskills]

I am the very model of a scientist salarian
I 've studied speciesl turian, assari, and batarian
I am quite good at genetics as subset of biology because I am an expert which is a tatalogy (sp?)
My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian
I am the very model of a scientist solarian.


I win!

[CroGamer002]

EDI: Really, Commander? Probing Uranus.

[ObserverStatus]

Shepard - "We don't give medals to soldiers for doing their job."

Joker - "Just give me a card and cake then, but none of that coconut crap I hate that stuff."

[Druss99]

Ah ha! Found it...
Jan: So Viconia, I suppose you must be a drow, eh?
Viconia: Speak not to your betters, surface slave.
Jan: My brother, Elgar Buttercup, had skin the shade of charcoal, too. Well, technically it WAS charcoal. He died in a nasty fire, you see.
Viconia: You do love the sound of your own voice, don't you gnome?
Jan: My own voice? Heartless wench! Do you not know? I am deaf. I have never heard the sound of my own voice. I read lips... (sob)... only lips...
Viconia: Deaf? Truly? In the Underdark the deaf are killed or used in pain threshold experiments.
Jan: I heard that! In fact, it reminds me of the time I was eaten by an avatar of Lolth. I was stuck inside her stomach with a miserable drow called Biffle Chump for days. Of course, I was forced to eat him. A matter of survival, you understand. Nothing personal. He tasted a bit like chicken.
Viconia: [to Protagonist] How is it that you travel with such a wee buffoon?
Protagonist: Truthfully, it all goes back to the time that Jan's cousin, Plooty Paladin-piper, got caught in a nasty flesh golem eating contest...
Jan: Aye, Plooty had a way of attracting golems. Brilliant, really. You start with a saucer of milk - golems are suckers for milk...
Viconia: I refuse to listen to this.

Modifié par Druss99, 16 février 2011 - 08:24 .

[Thunderfox]

dark-lauron wrote...

The Bhaalspawn's line to Portalbendarwinden :

Ok, I've just about had my FILL of riddle asking, quest assigning, insult throwing, pun hurling, hostage taking, iron mongering, smart arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!

Curses, I was going to post that! So I guess I'll have to second it.

[Celeryroot]

Shepard:What's that you're drinking?



Krogan:Human blood, with cinnamon. Go find someone else to bother!