100 réponses à ce sujet

[Icinix]

I did post...but my post is no appearing...

Edit: Nevermind. It appeared.

Modifié par Icinix, 04 mars 2011 - 11:01 .

[Dominus]

 Shepard: Well, we’re already caught in a trans-dimensional time warp. We might as well take a look at what’s outside and assess the situation.
Shepard heads outside the Normandy to find…

Grunt: I. AM. 8-BIT!
Mordin: Maneuvering only available for left and right. Will take time to get used to.
Tali: Shepard, if the rules of our world don’t apply here, that means the environment would be habitable by any sentient being?
Tali takes off her helmet.
Garrus: Wow, uh, hmm.
Jack: Heh, I kinda like the horns.
Shepard: Enough, people. It looks like there’s a town about half a kilometer from our position. That looks like our best lead to find our way around.
Miranda: The commander’s right, we need to keep moving and unearth why the reapers would be interested in a 19th century wasteland.
Shepard and Friends(Copyright of Bioware, 2011) mosey to the nearby town. On the way there, they notice a white rabbit hopping among the verdant, grayscale fields of Missouri.

Tali: Aw shepard, can I keep one? 

The rabbit looks up at Tali. Its eyes turn an all-too-familiar yellow.

???: Assuming direct control of this rabbit.
The rabbit begins jumping around everywhere and launching rockets(Hey, it worked for saren.) The squad rushes to nearby rocks and boulders in the distance and head for cover.

Shepard: We need suppressing fire!
Jack: I’ve got a better idea…
Shepard: No, you’ll get yourself killed! That’s no ordinary rabbit!
Jack leaps from cover, heading straight for the unholy bunny of death. 

Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 11:07 .

[Icinix]

LMAO!

[Vyse_Fina]

Oh dear god, how could anyone resist choice number 2 here?
Throw that hand grenade. but with proper incantation

[HydroSpectrum]

Vyse, quit ninja-ing us.
Either way, I would've made the same choice. Go go holy hand grenade!

[Dominus]

 (FYI, The posts keep coming out bunched together. It will be edited after the post.)

Shepard grabs an unused super-wacky-knockout-gas grenade from his mission on Feros, and launches it towards the rabbit. The bunny cackles maniacally at shepard’s feeble attempt, and before jack gets the chance to attack, the rabbit sees her in the corner of his eye and sends the bald eagle flying with an enormous blast of energy.

Shepard: Jack!
Jack: …I’m fine shepard. No thanks to you… *groans*
Jacob: We need to try something else - just hitting him with the good stuff isn’t going to be enough.

Out of nowhere, a bright blue ox runs towards the rabbit at an uncanny speed. As it closes in towards the flying menace, the ox lets out a spectacular burst of biotic energy, surprising the entire squad, and blasting the rabbit into a messy soup of little furry pieces. Ew.

Standing proud, the blue ox stands atop the hill, perplexed at the array of combatants before him.

Ox: Moo?

Shepard and friends slowly stand out of cover and walk towards the awesome sight.

Thane: That was…harrowing. Very impressive abilities.
Ox: Moo, moo moo moo?

Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 11:26 .

[Icinix]

1.

Like there is any other choice here!

[Dominus]

 Shepard: Uh…well…. Moo?
Ox: Moo moo moo. Moo!
Samara: Shepard, you impress me.
Garrus: I don’t know how you do it. You’re talking to a biotically-powered ox.

The blue ox slowly walks towards shepard and jumps slightly.

Ox: Moo!
Shepard: I’m not sure what he’s trying to tell me…
Miranda: Perhaps he wants to join us.

The ox nods its head.

Shepard: Alright then… what should we name him?
Mordin: Perhaps Oxford?
Shepard: Wait, I’ve got it. We’ll call him… Big Blue.
Big Blue: Moo.
Garrus: Well, there’s your stamp of approval, shepard.
Jacob: I think we’re forgetting the fact that a rabbit just tried to kill all of us. Obviously the reapers are somewhere in this place. Perhaps this is their homeworld?
Shepard: You may be right. With all the farms, it's a perfect place for a reaper to harvest…
Miranda: We’re not going to find much just standing here. Let’s head to town and see if we can find an improved mode of transportation.

Heading to the nearby town, they find a general store and head to the front desk.
Shepard: I’m commander shepard, and this is my favorite store in the town.
Matt: Well Howdy there commander picard! I’m matt the general store owner, and WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?! Ted, get the gun, we’ve got freaks of nature trying to steal our bags of flour! Get out!

Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 12:00 .

[HydroSpectrum]

2.
FALCON PAWNCH.

Also, I'm assuming you already have all these choices scripted out? A lot of work put into this, kudos.

[Dominus]

Yes, I learned from who wants to be a quarionaire. It  took many hours, with the entire thing filling 12 full pages due to all of the possible dialogue choices, and loved making every bit of it Having said that, hold on for the next part.

Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 11:39 .

[Dominus]

 Before they have a chance to arm themselves, shepard performs a FALCON PUNCH!…and manages to knock them out cold.
Tali: It’s sad it had to happen, but I don’t think they were going to talk peacefully to us.
Garrus: They’re just afraid of what they don’t understand. Mostly the horns.
Tali: I have a shotgun, and I know how to use it, Garrus.
Matt: Well, I’ll tell ya what, you can take some axles, wheels, and a full carriage on the house. Let’s just forget all this happened. Head around to the back and you’ll find it ready for ya.

While the rest of the squad heads out to the back to see their new carriage, shepard and Big Blue walk together outside the store.
Shepard: So. Big Blue…
Ox: Moo?

Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 11:41 .

[HydroSpectrum]

Ah, now I see why the title states "First playthrough". I know, I know, I'm slow - but give me a break, I just got back from class.
Anyway, since no one seems to want to do the next response...
Let's go for sensible number 1.

[Dominus]

Shepard: Do you know anything about the reapers, Blue?
Ox: Moo.
Shepard: Well, that’s alright. I get the feeling we may find one soon, if things go to the plan.

Shepard and Big Blue head towards the crowd of squadmates taking a closer look at the new ride.

Mordin: Incredibly primitive design, but should hold all of us if proper precautions taken.
Shepard: Alright people. Let’s do this! 
Shepard attaches Big Blue to the carriage, and directs all the squad mates inside.
Jack: You have got to be kidding me.
Shepard: There’s no other way Jack. Without the Normandy able to operate, our best method of finding and stopping the reapers is….a wagon ride.
Jack: Fine. But if we start shooting buffalo and crossing a ferry, I’m heading straight back to the ship.

Thanks to the biotically enhanced oxen Big Blue, the normally slow carriage is able to move at lightning speed, leaving the town in the dust. As they head out of town and into the wilds of Missouri, they see an enormous rock structure in the distance.



Zaeed: Biggest goddamn rock I’ve ever seen.
Kasumi: I’ve seen bigger.
Shepard: Wait a minute, when did you guys get here?
Zaeed: The author just realized he forgot about the DLC squad mates. Friggin idiot.
As they realize DominusVita should’ve figured that out, a colossal shadow appears next to them and slowly crawls to the stony obelisk as they make their approach, disappearing behind it.

Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 11:54 .

[CroGamer002]

Option 1.

[Dominus]

 Shepard: You wanted concrete evidence of reapers here, Miranda. Your evidence just walked right past us.
Jack: Aw, is the cheerleader all pouty now?
Miranda: No, just amused at the bald tattooed woman trying to irritate someone with a little more poise.
Jack: Yeah, whatever.
Shepard: Do you two have to fight right now? Let’s focus on catching up to this thing. Blue, try to speed up to it!
BB: Moo!

The Biotic Freight Train begins to glow a feint white and the wagon turns into a 19th Century hot rod, barreling through the countryside at an unprecedented speed.

Tali: Oh kee’lah… they couldn’t have invented seat belts in the 1800s? I think I’m going to be sick.
Grunt: Toughen up girl, the best is yet to come.
Zaeed: Goddamn right you are, how do you think a group of us against a reaper is going to play out?
Shepard: Let’s try to stay positive, and reach the reaper.
The wagon finally reaches the peak. Suddenly, the wagon tips on its side and a low guttural sound shrieks nearby. After the dust finally settles…
Legion: All 1,183 geth programs still functional. Assessing exterior damage…
Shepard: Everyone else all right?
Zaeed: Tis but a scratch’.

The deep-voiced bawl continues outside of the wagon. Shepard rushes out of the wagon. He sees Big Blue hunched on his side, a much paler blue.

Shepard: Damn it! We pushed him too hard… mordin, what can you tell me? How’s his health?
Mordin: Running a fever, major intestinal problems… this doesn’t look good, shepard. It’s a disease that was common during this particular period, when medicinal technology and awareness was minimal at best. It’s dysentery.

Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 11:53 .

[Leonia]

Option 3 seems like the most practical choice.

[Dominus]

Shepard: There’s no point in staying… if we keep waiting here with blue, we may miss the chance to catch up to the reaper.
Miranda: As much as I hate this, shepard’s right. There’s no time for mourning, we need to stay focused.
Mordin: I’m sorry, shepard.
Shepard: I’ll make them pay, Blue. You can count on it.
BB:……..moo.
Miranda: It’s over Commander… we need to keep moving. 

Reluctantly, the now solemn team make their way around the towering slab of auburn granite, hoping for a way to reach a way above.

Tali: Shepard, you did the right thing back there, I-
Shepard: Tali, don’t. We need to find the reaper first.

As they continue walking, they're taken aback by the sight in front of them. On the opposite side of chimney rock was a gaping hole, impossible for the chasm to be man-made or done by natural erosion. But what was even more surprising was the reaper inside it.

???: I have been expecting you, Shepard.

The reverberation of its voice practically shook the earth as it spoke.

???: You were foolish to come here. The only thing waiting for you in this place is the inevitability of death.

Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 12:06 .

[Icinix]

3! DAMMIT 3!

[Dominus]

 Shepard: When is the ME3 Footage coming? I mean, seriously? Nothing at GDC at all? …Really?
???: You assume the likelihood of footage being shown. The thread of your existence shall soon be severed. End of line.
Shepard: Why are you here?
???: As archaic as this planet is, it contains the necessary resource for genetic processing.
Shepard: You mean humans.
???: Regrettably, their current forms are not possible for processing. But our intentions will no longer concern you. I am the Garbager of your destiny.
Shepard: Wait a minute… you’re the what now?
Garbager: That is my name. You met my brother, harbinger. 
Thane: For a reaper especially, that is a peculiar name.
Shepard: Well guys, I think it’s time *Puts on shades*

...to take out the trash.

Shepard makes a sprint towards the colossal figure before him. A feint blue glow begins to emanate from the Commander.

Garbager: You waste your time, pitiful creature. Your salvation is at hand, yet think to topple a god.
Shepard: SHEP….
Garbager: Resistance is futile.
Shepard: ARD……
Garbager: Oh crap.
Shepard: PUUUUUUUNCH!!!

His now glowing fist makes contact with a side of one of the tentacles of the Reaper. Beginning to groan in agony, the reaper slowly begins to fall apart, piece by piece, nearly crushing the commander in the process. Shepard makes a run towards the squad members, who all are taken aback in incredulity. Shepard marches back with an illuminating blue aura around him.

Garrus: Grunt, what does your Omni-tool read from his biotic power?
Grunt: IT’S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Garrus: Over 9000? That can’t be right!
Grunt: Heh you’re right, it’s about 8500. Still, I’ve never seen that before, even with Jack.
Shepard: That one was for you, Big Blue… I’ve spent enough time in this place for a lifetime. Let’s head back to the Normandy and see if they have the ship up and running. There’s one last thing I’d like to do before we go though… I need to make something.




The end. :-)

Playthrough #2 is available once I take a break for a little while to breathe after all that posting. I hope you enjoyed it!

Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 12:22 .

[Leonia]

Way to go Icinix. <.<

[Icinix]

Epic conclusion.

LOL

Garbager!

Edit: Very nice work Dominus! Thanks for the lol's!

Modifié par Icinix, 04 mars 2011 - 12:16 .

[Dominus]

No problem, it was the hardest thread I've made in the time I've spent here, but there's certainly an old saying that rings true:

If something is easy to do, it's probably not worth doing.

[Icinix]

How long did it take you to put all that together? Must have been quite a while..

[HydroSpectrum]

R.I.P Big Blue.
You will always be in our hearts and bellies.

Excited for the next playthrough, can't wait to see what the differing choices will bring to the table.
Take as much time as you need for that break, you deserve it. Awesome ideas and even more awesome dedication.

[Dominus]

All in all, probably took 3-5 hours to write, believe it or not. The images were ripped from oregon trail videos from youtube, modified to allow the choice selection and grave name change. Lots of revising to keep it funny, having enough variety, and keeping an interesting, if nonsensical plot held together. I'm still kind of mad the guy above didn't choose to flirt with the ox, it's got the best line in the entire thing... ah well. Maybe someone will try to take a roll in the hay with blue next time. o_O....