Dear roflchoppaz. Seek medical attention immediately. Thank you. And now, back to the playthrough.
The Normandy Trail - The Ultimate Text Adventure.
Débuté par
Dominus
, mars 01 2011 01:32
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#77
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 01:29
Dominus
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Shepard pulls out his assault rifle, and wounds them both in the leg.
Tali: You had me scared there for a second, shepard. Even if they are a bunch of Bosh’tets, they didn’t deserve to die for it.
Garrus: They’re just afraid of what they don’t understand. Mostly the horns.
Tali: I have a shotgun, and I know how to use it, Garrus.
Matt: Well, I’ll tell ya what, you can take some axles, wheels, and a full carriage on the house. Let’s just forget all this happened. Head around to the back and you’ll find it ready for ya.
While the rest of the squad heads out to the back to see their new carriage, shepard and Big Blue walk together outside the store.
Shepard: So. Big Blue…
Ox: Moo?
Tali: You had me scared there for a second, shepard. Even if they are a bunch of Bosh’tets, they didn’t deserve to die for it.
Garrus: They’re just afraid of what they don’t understand. Mostly the horns.
Tali: I have a shotgun, and I know how to use it, Garrus.
Matt: Well, I’ll tell ya what, you can take some axles, wheels, and a full carriage on the house. Let’s just forget all this happened. Head around to the back and you’ll find it ready for ya.
While the rest of the squad heads out to the back to see their new carriage, shepard and Big Blue walk together outside the store.
Shepard: So. Big Blue…
Ox: Moo?
Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 01:30 .
#78
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 01:31
roflchoppaz
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3! And I can bet whole forum agrees!
#79
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 01:33
Dominus
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Finally someone chooses 3. lol. Back to the story:
Shepard: Tell me about yourself, BB. Just curious what makes you tick.
BB: Moo, moo moo moo, moo moo. Moo, moo….moo….
Shepard: It’s alright, we just met, so you don’t have to tell me the intimate details..
BB: Moo…. moo moo?
Shepard: Tell me about yourself, BB. Just curious what makes you tick.
BB: Moo, moo moo moo, moo moo. Moo, moo….moo….
Shepard: It’s alright, we just met, so you don’t have to tell me the intimate details..
BB: Moo…. moo moo?
Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 01:35 .
#81
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 01:45
roflchoppaz
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You ruined it! D: Should've chose 1! Damn you, sensible people!
#84
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 01:52
Dominus
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Shepard: What can I say, from the moment you splattered that bunny into pieces and stood so proudly, I knew we were meant to be together. I may be fighting for the galaxy, but I’d like to fight for the love, too.
BB: M….. moo!
Shepard: I’m glad you feel the same way. Come on blue, let’s go check out our new wheels.
Shepard and Big Blue head towards the crowd of squadmates taking a closer look at the new ride.
Mordin: Incredibly primitive design, but should hold all of us if proper precautions taken.
Shepard: Alright people. Let’s do this!
Shepard attaches Big Blue to the carriage, and directs all the squad mates inside.
Jack: You have got to be kidding me.
Shepard: There’s no other way Jack. Without the Normandy able to operate, our best method of finding and stopping the reapers is….a wagon ride.
Jack: Fine. But if we start shooting buffalo and crossing a ferry, I’m heading straight back to the ship.
Thanks to the biotically enhanced oxen Big Blue, the normally slow carriage is able to move at lightning speed, leaving the town in the dust. As they head out of town and into the wilds of Missouri, they see an enormous rock structure in the distance.
Zaeed: Biggest goddamn rock I’ve ever seen.
Kasumi: I’ve seen bigger.
Shepard: Wait a minute, when did you guys get here?
Zaeed: The author just realized he forgot about the DLC squad mates. Friggin idiot.
As they realize DominusVita should’ve figured that out, a colossal shadow appears mext to them and slowly crawls to the stony obelisk as they make their approach, disappearing behind it.
BB: M….. moo!
Shepard: I’m glad you feel the same way. Come on blue, let’s go check out our new wheels.
Shepard and Big Blue head towards the crowd of squadmates taking a closer look at the new ride.
Mordin: Incredibly primitive design, but should hold all of us if proper precautions taken.
Shepard: Alright people. Let’s do this!
Shepard attaches Big Blue to the carriage, and directs all the squad mates inside.
Jack: You have got to be kidding me.
Shepard: There’s no other way Jack. Without the Normandy able to operate, our best method of finding and stopping the reapers is….a wagon ride.
Jack: Fine. But if we start shooting buffalo and crossing a ferry, I’m heading straight back to the ship.
Thanks to the biotically enhanced oxen Big Blue, the normally slow carriage is able to move at lightning speed, leaving the town in the dust. As they head out of town and into the wilds of Missouri, they see an enormous rock structure in the distance.
Zaeed: Biggest goddamn rock I’ve ever seen.Kasumi: I’ve seen bigger.
Shepard: Wait a minute, when did you guys get here?
Zaeed: The author just realized he forgot about the DLC squad mates. Friggin idiot.
As they realize DominusVita should’ve figured that out, a colossal shadow appears mext to them and slowly crawls to the stony obelisk as they make their approach, disappearing behind it.
Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 01:57 .
#86
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 02:00
Dominus
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Shepard: You wanted concrete evidence of reapers here, Miranda. Your evidence just walked right past us.
Jack: Aw, is the cheerleader all pouty now?
Miranda: No, just amused at the bald tattooed woman trying to irritate someone with a little more poise.
Shepard: Do you two have to fight right now? Let’s focus on catching up to this thing. Blue, try to speed up to it!
BB: Moo!
The Biotic Freight Train begins to glow a feint white and the wagon turns into a 19th Century hot rod, barreling through the countryside at an unprecedented speed.
Tali: Oh kee’lah… they couldn’t have invented seat belts in the 1800s? I think I’m going to be sick.
Grunt: Toughen up girl, the best is yet to come.
Zaeed: Goddamn right you are, how do you think a group of us against a reaper is going to play out?
Shepard: Let’s try to stay positive, and reach the reaper.
The wagon finally reaches the peak. Suddenly, the wagon tips on its side and a low guttural sound shrieks nearby. After the dust finally settles…
Legion: All 1,183 geth programs still functional. Assessing exterior damage…
Shepard: Everyone else all right?Zaeed: Tis but a scratch’.
The deep-voiced bawl continues outside of the wagon. Shepard rushes out of the wagon. He sees Big Blue hunched on his side, a much paler blue.
Shepard: Damn it! We pushed him too hard… mordin, what can you tell me? How’s his health?
Mordin: Running a fever, major intestinal problems… this doesn’t look good, shepard. It’s a disease that was common during this particular period, when medicinal technology and awareness was minimal at best. It’s dysentery.
Jack: Aw, is the cheerleader all pouty now?
Miranda: No, just amused at the bald tattooed woman trying to irritate someone with a little more poise.
Shepard: Do you two have to fight right now? Let’s focus on catching up to this thing. Blue, try to speed up to it!
BB: Moo!
The Biotic Freight Train begins to glow a feint white and the wagon turns into a 19th Century hot rod, barreling through the countryside at an unprecedented speed.
Tali: Oh kee’lah… they couldn’t have invented seat belts in the 1800s? I think I’m going to be sick.
Grunt: Toughen up girl, the best is yet to come.
Zaeed: Goddamn right you are, how do you think a group of us against a reaper is going to play out?
Shepard: Let’s try to stay positive, and reach the reaper.
The wagon finally reaches the peak. Suddenly, the wagon tips on its side and a low guttural sound shrieks nearby. After the dust finally settles…
Legion: All 1,183 geth programs still functional. Assessing exterior damage…
Shepard: Everyone else all right?Zaeed: Tis but a scratch’.
The deep-voiced bawl continues outside of the wagon. Shepard rushes out of the wagon. He sees Big Blue hunched on his side, a much paler blue.
Shepard: Damn it! We pushed him too hard… mordin, what can you tell me? How’s his health?
Mordin: Running a fever, major intestinal problems… this doesn’t look good, shepard. It’s a disease that was common during this particular period, when medicinal technology and awareness was minimal at best. It’s dysentery.
Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 02:04 .
#88
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 02:05
Dominus
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Shepard: Blue, you were the best goddamned oxen I’ve ever met. The reapers, every last one of them, will die for this, for you. I...I loved you, blue.
BB: Moo…..m-m-m….
Mordin: I’m sorry, shepard.
Shepard: I’ll make them pay, Blue. You can count on it.
BB:……..moo.
Miranda: It’s over Commander… we need to keep moving... I'm sorry, for what it's worth.
Reluctantly, the now solemn team make their way around the towering slab of auburn granite, hoping for a way to reach a way above.
Tali: Shepard, you did the right thing back there, I-
Shepard: Tali, don’t. We need to find the reaper first.
As they continue walking, they were all taken aback by the sight in front of them. On the opposite side of chimney rock was a gaping hole, impossible for the chasm to be man-made or done by natural erosion. But what was even more surprising was the reaper inside it.
???: I have been expecting you, Shepard.
The reverberation of its voice practically shook the earth as it spoke.
???: You were foolish to come here. The only thing waiting for you in this place is the inevitability of death.
BB: Moo…..m-m-m….
Mordin: I’m sorry, shepard.
Shepard: I’ll make them pay, Blue. You can count on it.
BB:……..moo.
Miranda: It’s over Commander… we need to keep moving... I'm sorry, for what it's worth.
Reluctantly, the now solemn team make their way around the towering slab of auburn granite, hoping for a way to reach a way above.
Tali: Shepard, you did the right thing back there, I-
Shepard: Tali, don’t. We need to find the reaper first.
As they continue walking, they were all taken aback by the sight in front of them. On the opposite side of chimney rock was a gaping hole, impossible for the chasm to be man-made or done by natural erosion. But what was even more surprising was the reaper inside it.
???: I have been expecting you, Shepard.
The reverberation of its voice practically shook the earth as it spoke.
???: You were foolish to come here. The only thing waiting for you in this place is the inevitability of death.
Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 02:07 .
#89
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 02:06
roflchoppaz
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#90
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 02:09
Dominus
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Shepard: What is the meaning of life?
???: 42.
Shepard: I should go. Thanks for all the fish.
???: You assume the likelihood of surviving that alternative.
Shepard: Why are you here?
???: As archaic as this planet is, it contains the necessary resource for genetic processing.
Shepard: You mean humans.
???: Regrettably, their current forms are not possible for processing. But our intentions will no longer concern you. I am the Garbager of your destiny.
Shepard: Wait a minute… you’re the what now?
Garbager: That is my name. You met my brother, harbinger.
Thane: For a reaper especially, that is a peculiar name.
Shepard: Well guys, I think it’s time *Puts on shades*
To take out the trash.
Shepard makes a sprint towards the colossal figure before him. A feint blue glow begins to emanate from the Commander.
Garbager: You waste your time, pitiful creature. Your salvation is at hand, yet think to topple a god.
Shepard: SHEP….
Garbager: Resistance is futile.
Shepard: ARD……
Garbager: Oh crap.
Shepard: PUUUUUUUNCH!!!
His now glowing fist makes contact with a side of one of the tentacles of the Reaper. Beginning to groan in agony, the reaper slowly begins to fall apart, piece by piece, nearly crushing the commander in the process. Shepard makes a run towards the squad members, who all are taken aback in incredulity. Shepard marches back with an illuminating blue aura around him.
Garrus: Grunt, what does your Omni-tool read from his biotic power?
Grunt: IT’S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Garrus: Over 9000? That can’t be right!
Grunt: Heh you’re right, it’s about 8500. Still, I’ve never seen that before, even with Jack.
Shepard: That one was for you, Big Blue… I’ve spent enough time in this place for a lifetime. Let’s head back to the Normandy and see if they have the ship up and running. There’s one last thing I’d like to do before we go though… I need to make something.
The End. That's it for today's playthroughs, but thanks for playing. I'm glad you all enjoyed it
Any feedback would be appreciated on what worked, and what didn't. It will help in brewing up more wild and crazy schemes.
???: 42.
Shepard: I should go. Thanks for all the fish.
???: You assume the likelihood of surviving that alternative.
Shepard: Why are you here?
???: As archaic as this planet is, it contains the necessary resource for genetic processing.
Shepard: You mean humans.
???: Regrettably, their current forms are not possible for processing. But our intentions will no longer concern you. I am the Garbager of your destiny.
Shepard: Wait a minute… you’re the what now?
Garbager: That is my name. You met my brother, harbinger.
Thane: For a reaper especially, that is a peculiar name.
Shepard: Well guys, I think it’s time *Puts on shades*
To take out the trash.
Shepard makes a sprint towards the colossal figure before him. A feint blue glow begins to emanate from the Commander.
Garbager: You waste your time, pitiful creature. Your salvation is at hand, yet think to topple a god.
Shepard: SHEP….
Garbager: Resistance is futile.
Shepard: ARD……
Garbager: Oh crap.
Shepard: PUUUUUUUNCH!!!
His now glowing fist makes contact with a side of one of the tentacles of the Reaper. Beginning to groan in agony, the reaper slowly begins to fall apart, piece by piece, nearly crushing the commander in the process. Shepard makes a run towards the squad members, who all are taken aback in incredulity. Shepard marches back with an illuminating blue aura around him.
Garrus: Grunt, what does your Omni-tool read from his biotic power?
Grunt: IT’S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Garrus: Over 9000? That can’t be right!
Grunt: Heh you’re right, it’s about 8500. Still, I’ve never seen that before, even with Jack.
Shepard: That one was for you, Big Blue… I’ve spent enough time in this place for a lifetime. Let’s head back to the Normandy and see if they have the ship up and running. There’s one last thing I’d like to do before we go though… I need to make something.
The End. That's it for today's playthroughs, but thanks for playing. I'm glad you all enjoyed it
Any feedback would be appreciated on what worked, and what didn't. It will help in brewing up more wild and crazy schemes.
Modifié par DominusVita, 04 mars 2011 - 02:14 .
#91
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 02:18
roflchoppaz
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*sob* Big Blue... I'll always have you deep down in my heart...
*hugs a pillow*
*hugs a pillow*
#92
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 02:21
Dominus
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There there. Big Blue was always in your heart, so he never really left.
We'll miss you, blue.
We'll miss you, blue.
#93
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 02:23
Stormy-B
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This thread is so much win! 
Also, roflchoppaz, your picture, wth!?!? XD
Also, roflchoppaz, your picture, wth!?!? XD
#94
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 02:25
SuperEngineer
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'Old School' Movie Quote
"You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy."
"You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy."
#95
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 02:30
Dominus
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"You're my boy, Blue! You're my boy."
It was inspired somewhere between Babe the Blue Ox, F-Zero's Big Blue, and the fact that using biotics kind of has the whole blue thing going on.
This thread is so much win!
:-)
#96
Guest_Nuav_*
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 05:10
Guest_Nuav_*
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your moos shall forever remain in my heart, big blue. r.i.p.
#97
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 05:27
Dominus
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Some of the greatest stories told must end in tragedy.
Hamlet, Romeo & Juliet, Bizzare Oregon Trail-Based Fanfiction Text Adventures.
I'm glad you enjoyed the character... and he will be missed, he will be loved.
Here's to you, Mr. Blue.
Hamlet, Romeo & Juliet, Bizzare Oregon Trail-Based Fanfiction Text Adventures.
I'm glad you enjoyed the character... and he will be missed, he will be loved.
Here's to you, Mr. Blue.
#98
Guest_Nuav_*
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 05:47
Guest_Nuav_*
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Indeed. A toast to Blue. Milk beverages for everyone, my treat.
Dom, will there be a new game next week?
Dom, will there be a new game next week?
#99
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 05:59
Dominus
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It's a good question. If people still dig this kind of thing, I'm sure I can figure something out. Do take in mind that Dragon Age 2 arrives in 4 days, and will be sucking my time as I slay the dragons and mate with the womens.
The internet is acting slow for me, so I think the 2 playthroughs oughta be enough
The internet is acting slow for me, so I think the 2 playthroughs oughta be enough
#100
Posté 04 mars 2011 - 08:57
Icinix
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*excellent* I missed it last night because of a power cut..but dammit! Just LOL!
Big Blue...I'll never forget you *tear*
Big Blue...I'll never forget you *tear*
