67 réponses à ce sujet

[The Angry One]

Dragon Age is clearly too dark for it's own good, therefore I propose BioWare make a version more palatable for everyone. Changes would include:

*spoilers of course*

- The Grey Warden joining consists of drinking week old, flat Dr. Pepper. You might get indigestion!

- Jory is not killed by Duncan, instead he's given a fluffy bunny as a consolation prize and sent on his way.

- The battle at Ostagar is resolved through a game of rock paper scissors between Cailan and the Archdemon. Cailan unfortunately loses when Loghain tells the Archdemon he's going to use rock (actually Cailan always uses rock). And so Duncan and Cailan are banished to the naughty corner and forced to wear dunce hats.

- Sten is locked in a cage at Lothering for stealing cookies. The scoundrel!

- Loghain and Alistair become best friends at the Landsmeet over some tea and crumpets.

Feel free to add your own changes..

[Never]

*giggle*

[Haasth]

All I can say is: I want.
But only if the Anvil of the Void creates Cotton Candy.

Modifié par Haasth, 15 novembre 2009 - 01:08 .

[Evilsod]

*wonders how the Broodmother and its story fits into this version*



This will also mean that tha Mabari WarDog is replaced by a Bichon Frise.

[Giantmoth]

The broodmother is in fact a pleasant old lady that makes cookies and buns for the darkspawns, to motivate them to work harder!

[Haasth]

So does Flemeth change into a giant pink bunny instead?

[Flamin Jesus]

Jowan's punishment for using pillowmagic is that he's politely asked to spend some hours talking with the elderly in a retirement home (His subsequent suicide is cut for niceness reasons). Morrigan refuses to kiss the main character until they are married, after which the first kiss produces a perfect child. Desire Helpers are nice old ladies that teach you about the evils of fun. The entire Blight is just a big misunderstanding between the people who thought they can hug it away, and the people who realized correctly that a backrub is the only solution. All characters look exactly like the player character.

[Evilsod]

Giantmoth wrote...

The broodmother is in fact a pleasant old lady that makes cookies and buns for the darkspawns, to motivate them to work harder!

Would that make all Darkspawninto  Girlscouts selling cookies once they have a Scoutmaster (archdemon) to lead them?

[The Angry One]

That is how Sten's group are defeated in this version, the darkscouts appeared and sold them so many cookies, they got fat and had to return to their lands in shame where they were given the dreaded Kitten of Dishonour and told to think about what they did.

[Flamin Jesus]

Evilsod wrote...

Giantmoth wrote...

The broodmother is in fact a pleasant old lady that makes cookies and buns for the darkspawns, to motivate them to work harder!

Would that make all Darkspawninto  Girlscouts selling cookies once they have a Scoutmaster (archdemon) to lead them?

Almost, the girlscouts lead by committee since they couldn't find a hermaphroditic scoutmaster to lead them since they know that having either a male or female leader could be misinterpreted as undue support of patriarchal or matriarchal societies.

[TremCenwyth]

Will this edition let me have a pillow-fight with Alistair, given how much he enjoys that kind of thing? In our skivvies, no less?



Oh please, let it be so! <3

[Flamin Jesus]

TremCenwyth wrote...

Will this edition let me have a pillow-fight with Alistair, given how much he enjoys that kind of thing? In our skivvies, no less?

Oh please, let it be so!

I'm sure that's in, as long as we take care to rename the pillow-fight to pillow-act-of-friendship, you know, "fight" has such negative connotations.

[specter7237]

Haasth wrote...

So does Flemeth change into a giant pink bunny instead?

"Bring forth the holy hand grenade!"
(of joy and happiness)

Modifié par specter7237, 15 novembre 2009 - 01:59 .

[Krenmu]

Wow...this is EPIC!!!



Don't forget, Every encounter ends with a hug.

[Majspuffen]

Hehehe. Is this thread to own all those "dragon age is too dark!"-threads? Well, I like it.



Arl Eamon is suffering from a stomach ache because he ate too much delicacies, instead of being poisoned.

The demon possessing Connor is in fact a very nice demon. It's also covered in clothes, no bare breasts at all. Because lets face it, -THAT- is dark and evil!

[Levowitz]

Morrigan leaves you at the end of the battle not to escape you, but to get her things from flemmeth's cabin to stay with you.

[javierabegazo]

The werewolf curse is solved by some warm milk and petting

[Fudzie]

I think this thread actually gave me indigestion.



OH NOES, I CAN'T BE A GRAY WARDEN NOW.

[The Angry One]

Fudzie wrote...

I think this thread actually gave me indigestion.

OH NOES, I CAN'T BE A GRAY WARDEN NOW.

Take this pepto bismol and join Daveth and Jory in the runners up corner!
Wait that sounds so negative. How about the corner for those who almost won but didn't!

[Flamin Jesus]

The Angry One wrote...

Fudzie wrote...

I think this thread actually gave me indigestion.

OH NOES, I CAN'T BE A GRAY WARDEN NOW.

Take this pepto bismol and join Daveth and Jory in the runners up corner!
Wait that sounds so negative. How about the corner for those who almost won but didn't!

The corner of the other winners? The corner of the winners of our hearts? The corner of those who modestly chose to step back and wait with the winning?

[EricHVela]

Desire demons are simply greedy old women, dressed in very modest old-lady clothing. They're called: Greedy old women.

[Flamin Jesus]

But.... But greed is bad!

[Vortun]

Dwarves are now called "little people"

[Reiella]

Sounds almost as fun as the Dragon Age: False Dichotomy game on the forums.