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[Biotic Sage]

As a lifelong male gamer, and one who has tried numerous times to show my girlfriend how interesting games are, I'm interested to know how most of you femgamers got started. Were you raised on videogames, or did you kind of discover them on your own?

My girlfriend has said that she would probably actually like games like Mass Effect or Dragon Age if she was good at video games, but she's really competitive and gets frustrated at the controller interface. I'm not sure why she's not a natural, because she can play piano like nobody's business.

[NightmarezAbound]

suliabryon wrote...

NightmarezAbound wrote...

Aidunno wrote...
As an aside and knowing my sister loves RPG's.. ever noticed women can play men far more realistically than men can play women?

 Because, sadly, some of our bretheren think with the wrong head, and the female gamers uses her intellect. That is personally why I like to have female gamers in a group if I can find one. It cools off the testosterone poisoning at the table, and helps bring in more RP.

My husband's actually pretty good at playing female characters, but he enjoys playing them, and his Mom ran pageants and coached dance/drill his whole life, so he grew up surrounded by women.

So oneof the good ones, yes my group sadly, there is a ban on male players doing female characters.  They always make them too 2 dimensional.  But less than half the group is/has been married, 2 others lifelong bachelors, thatareso so on the empathy part of life.   Oneof the favorite groups I ran was in California, 60% female.  and the other male besides myself also very empathic. So I could bring many wonderful storylines into the RP. That is not involving combat.

[sevalaricgirl]

My bff is into the same games that I'm in except that she does Everquest and I don't get into the mmorpg stuff and uhmm, we're not young'ens. I have a 15 yr old son and she's older than I am. Anyway, there are fangirls of all ages here. And yes, squee! for Anders, Sebastian, and of course my Alistair and Kaidan. My hubby just laughs, thank goodness he's not the jealous type.

[elearon1]

>> the other male besides myself also very empathic. So I could bring many wonderful storylines into the RP. That is not involving combat.<<

Even when running all male parties we always play games with depth and interesting storylines ... being male doesn't mean that combat is the first place you go for your rp fix. I have run many sessions/adventures without a single battle; five hour periods (that is 5 hours real time) spent as the party sat around their campfire having philosophical discussions; mysteries or political scenarios were combat was not an option, etc.

I also have a female player who loves combat and gets bored if we don't have at least some combat every other session and the very least. (she'd prefer it every session, I'm sure) So it isn't always a matter of gender, but the quality and interests of your rpers which shapes a game.

[NightmarezAbound]

Sadly, yes a couple in my game get bored and just want to kill things.

And I am just relating things on the games I have been in, especially lately.
Just noticeyou aremore likely to findit inmale gamers than female gamers in my experience.

[suliabryon]

elearon1 wrote...

>> the other male besides myself also very empathic. So I could bring many wonderful storylines into the RP. That is not involving combat.<<

Even when running all male parties we always play games with depth and interesting storylines ... being male doesn't mean that combat is the first place you go for your rp fix. I have run many sessions/adventures without a single battle; five hour periods (that is 5 hours real time) spent as the party sat around their campfire having philosophical discussions; mysteries or political scenarios were combat was not an option, etc.

I also have a female player who loves combat and gets bored if we don't have at least some combat every other session and the very least. (she'd prefer it every session, I'm sure) So it isn't always a matter of gender, but the quality and interests of your rpers which shapes a game.

I agree! In my mostly male group, we've spent entire 8 hour sessions of RP without rolling a single dice. Hack & slash gaming gets very old, very fast. We prefer deep storytelling and character development. 

But I will say the DH does not do as much in depth romantic rp-ing as the all female group I play with. It's hard to describe the distinction, really, but the two games have very different feels, but just as much overall roleplay.

[Sbri]

Maybe it's where I live, but I do have many girl friends who are gamers. More then I thought where, actually. Back in December I walked into my theater group and went, "Bioware announced ME3! SQUEEEEEEEE!" I was surprised to hear three answering "SQUEES!". So out of a cast of 80, with about 35 women, to have 4 women gamers is not to bad.

[suliabryon]

NightmarezAbound wrote...

Sadly, yes a couple in my game get bored and just want to kill things.

And I am just relating things on the games I have been in, especially lately.
Just noticeyou aremore likely to findit inmale gamers than female gamers in my experience.

I'm very familiar with the role-player type of which you speak!  They usually don't last long in our group, ie they actually die very quickly. Many of the situations we find ourselves in require creative thinking and role-play to get out of, not brute force.

[Carlyanne]

Biotic Sage wrote...

As a lifelong male gamer, and one who has tried numerous times to show my girlfriend how interesting games are, I'm interested to know how most of you femgamers got started. Were you raised on videogames, or did you kind of discover them on your own?

To be honest i grew up with my brothers playing videogames so got into it that way, however, whereas they love shooters, i love RPGs! When i really think about it, I was always into games I think.

Streets of Rage, Ecco the Dolphin and Micro Machines FTW. 

[Alet]

Biotic Sage wrote...

As a lifelong male gamer, and one who has tried numerous times to show my girlfriend how interesting games are, I'm interested to know how most of you femgamers got started. Were you raised on videogames, or did you kind of discover them on your own?

My girlfriend has said that she would probably actually like games like Mass Effect or Dragon Age if she was good at video games, but she's really competitive and gets frustrated at the controller interface. I'm not sure why she's not a natural, because she can play piano like nobody's business.

I sympathize with being a highly competitive person learning a new skill.  Games take skill to learn, which we often forget because when you start as a kid, you don't realize how bad you are and you're able to learn with less frustration.  When I first started playing video games, I was bad.  I think this had more to do with being 10 years old than with being a female, but it took me a day and a half before I figured out how to get past the mephit cages in Irenicus's dungeon and I'd been playing BG2 for like a month before I realized that things went much better if you used potions while in battle instead of selling all except healing and only using healing potions after battles were over.  Yeah.  Bad.

There isn't much to do really but grit through the learning part.  I haven't played either ME or DA on console, but on PC ME was easier to pick up but DA had a better tutorial.  Have you tried lending her the games and having her play on her own, when there isn't the issue of having a more experienced player watching you?

[Phex]

I don't have any female friends to share my DA love with either. Instead, my male friends just have to deal with it.

[panamakira]

Pick a fan thread and you can squee to your heart's content!

[Mariefoxprice83]

SAme here, don't know any women who play RPG video games except on this site! Yet I do knew a few guys who played Origins and Awakening so I must be content with talking to them,.

[Bonu_Syheyl]

I no what you mean .None of my female or male friends play any RPGs and most of them dont even play video games so these forums are awesome places to talk till your hearts content about them

[BSBNess]

I know how you feel none of my female friends play video games but I love them ever since I was a kid.

[Biotic Sage]

Alet wrote...


There isn't much to do really but grit through the learning part.  I haven't played either ME or DA on console, but on PC ME was easier to pick up but DA had a better tutorial.  Have you tried lending her the games and having her play on her own, when there isn't the issue of having a more experienced player watching you?

Well, she lives with me so she knows she can play my Xbox/Wii anytime she wants haha.  I completely understand the "more experienced player watching you" thing; I try to step out of the room whenever I convince her to try a game because I know it would be frustrating for both me and her if I stood over her shoulder.  I know I wouldn't be having fun if some superstar StarCraft player was watching me play StarCraft and saying, "NO, no no, you should be doing THIS!"  

I think mostly for her it's an issue of a preconception about video games: that they are a "boy's thing." We've been together for 6 years so who knows, maybe during the next 6 she will try a few for more than just 10 minutes each.

I get what you are saying though: learning things on your own is far more rewarding than having someone tell you what to know (as a student teacher this is confirmed to me almost every day )  Thanks for your story response!

[Drake Sigar]

Biotic Sage wrote...

As a lifelong male gamer, and one who has tried numerous times to show my girlfriend how interesting games are, I'm interested to know how most of you femgamers got started. Were you raised on videogames, or did you kind of discover them on your own?

I suspect The Sims was largely involved.

[Maria Caliban]

That's nice.

[Carlyanne]

Drake Sigar wrote...

Biotic Sage wrote...

As a lifelong male gamer, and one who has tried numerous times to show my girlfriend how interesting games are, I'm interested to know how most of you femgamers got started. Were you raised on videogames, or did you kind of discover them on your own?

I suspect The Sims was largely involved.

Definitely this.

[BSBNess]

Biotic Sage wrote...

As a lifelong male gamer, and one who has tried numerous times to show my girlfriend how interesting games are, I'm interested to know how most of you femgamers got started. Were you raised on videogames, or did you kind of discover them on your own?

My girlfriend has said that she would probably actually like games like Mass Effect or Dragon Age if she was good at video games, but she's really competitive and gets frustrated at the controller interface. I'm not sure why she's not a natural, because she can play piano like nobody's business.

I was born on video games, I love them back in the arcade days and Nintendo, Super Nintendo and Sega and so on and so on.

But for your girlfriend have her play on casual and maybe have her try gaming on the PC though I found Origins on the PS3 casual way too easy.  I always play my first walkthrough on casual so I can get a feel of the story but Origins on the PS3 was way too easy.  

[Biotic Sage]

Carlyanne wrote...


To be honest i grew up with my brothers playing videogames so got into it that way, however, whereas they love shooters, i love RPGs! When i really think about it, I was always into games I think.

Streets of Rage, Ecco the Dolphin and Micro Machines FTW. 

I have very few guy friends who like games other than the Madden/Call of Duty types.  That's interesting that you had brothers who played games and still felt comfortable enough to go into what is considered by society a "masculine" pasttime.  I have one sibling (younger sister) and we clearly gravitated toward the typical gender roles, i.e. barbies and playing house for her, legos and video games for me.  Some of it is no doubt due to how our parents just expected it to be that way, but knowing my sister her natural personality is VERY girly-feminine, so it would have probably ended up that way anyway even if we tried to force her to play video games haha.

Ecco the Dolphin is boss.

[Supreme-Jim]

I was blessed to have several female friends who enjoy gaming. Seems like all we talk about when we hang out (which sadly is rare these days). A lot of them got started on old school rpg's like Final Fantasy 7 and I think one got started on Halo 2.. figure that one out.

Anyways, point is there's plenty out there you just gotta know where to look. I met 2 of them at the community college here, we had a gamers club.

[Maria Caliban]

Drake Sigar wrote...

Biotic Sage wrote...

As a lifelong male gamer, and one who has tried numerous times to show my girlfriend how interesting games are, I'm interested to know how most of you femgamers got started. Were you raised on videogames, or did you kind of discover them on your own?

I suspect The Sims was largely involved.

This from the guy who was making the hard choice between charmander and squirtle while I was telling Ravel my answer to the question "What can change the nature of a man?"

[suliabryon]

Drake Sigar wrote...

Biotic Sage wrote...

As a lifelong male gamer, and one who has tried numerous times to show my girlfriend how interesting games are, I'm interested to know how most of you femgamers got started. Were you raised on videogames, or did you kind of discover them on your own?

I suspect The Sims was largely involved.

Sorry, nope. In my case, it was really Bioware who lured me. I was already a Star Wars and D&D fan, so Baldur's Gate and KOTOR got me into video games.

[Biotic Sage]

BSBNess wrote...

I was born on video games, I love them back in the arcade days and Nintendo, Super Nintendo and Sega and so on and so on.

But for your girlfriend have her play on casual and maybe have her try gaming on the PC though I found Origins on the PS3 casual way too easy.  I always play my first walkthrough on casual so I can get a feel of the story but Origins on the PS3 was way too easy.  

I actually started her on Nightmare and forced her to be an archer in DA:O.

I miss those Super Nintendo days.