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Cady: Regina said she'll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She's such a good... ****!
Regina: Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up?
Saleslady: Sorry, we only carry
sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.
Damian: She's fabulous, but she's evil.
Janis: We gotta crack Gretchen. Once we crack Gretchen, we crack the lock on Regina's whole dirty history.
Damien: Say crack again.
Janis: Crack.
Regina: She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?
Shane: You're right, hon.
Regina: I, like, invented her, you know what I mean?
Cady: Wait Regina, I didn't mean for this to happen!
Regina: To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care!
Cady: Wait Regina, just listen!
Regina: No! Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak that's a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c...
Cady's mum: Where's Cady?
Cady's dad: She went out.
Cady's mum: She's grounded.
Cady's dad: Are they not suppose to be let out when they're grounded?
Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks.
Regina: [After Lea's left] That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen.
Cady's dad: Hey, how was school?
Cady: Fine.
Cady's mum: Were people nice?
Cady: No.
Cady's dad: Did you make any friends?
Cady: Yes.
Cady: Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.
Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.
Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything!
Cady: Well there must be something you're good at.
Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?
Cady: No no no. Anything else?
Karen: Well, I'm kinda
psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
Cady: Really? That's amazing.
Karen: Well, they can tell when it's raining.
Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my God Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.
Mr. Duvall: So, uh... how was your summer?
Ms. Norbury: I got divorced.
Mr. Duvall: Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
Ms. Norbury: I win.
Have fun amature