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Both male romance options in DA2 I just wanted to smack the **** out of after awhile. One is like "**** ALL MAGES" the other one is like, "FREE ALL MAGES....AND **** YOU FENRIS."
One is possessed, the other one can't let go of his past.
Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, holding the controller, like, "I just....want to snuggle Alistair." 
Anyway, my general consensus is that I'm not the type who wants to drown myself in angst and argument all of the time. I like a little fluff with my angst, as well. And I didn't really get any of that. Sure, Anders goes all super-romantic on you, but because of the time jump, sometimes it didn't feel as genuine.
Even if you COULD sleep with Alistair a whole five seconds after meeting him (if you played your cards right.
What I miss most about Alistair is the chance to talk to him. I didn't have to wait for a particular plot point to unlock a converstaion, I could just go over and ask him stuff and he'd answer. He wanted to chat with me about his life and discuss our relationship. I love Ander and Fenris but I would love them a lot more if I could sit down and ask about life in the Circle or on the run from Danarius.
I was crazy about Alistair and at the time it seemed the whole sleep-with-morrigan-or-die drama seemed SO DARK and so painful to me, I barely survived it. I laugh in the face of such things now, hah bring on the mage hoes for Anders to knock up if it would mean separation from Justice with Pounce materialising from thin air and Meredith turning into a toad and being stepped on by Cullen.
I loved how sweet and gentle Alistair was and everything but you know what happened then? He dumped me because I couldn't make babies with him/wasn't human. That's the thing, I knew he was attracted and maybe loved me but he didn't want me enough to find a way to keep me. That **** hurt man.
(Also it felt like I was the bas and he was just following me around all deer eyed - NOT attractive rl)
So Anders - he gives me fluff whenever he can, he is "tender and devoted" and never wants to leave me. And doesn't!