I finished my first run through on the weekend... and well.... DAMMIT ANDERS!!! And this second run through now (playing essentially the same essentially nice/sarcastic rogue lady Hawke but tweaking choices) is just making me sad. (Gonna rival-mance Fenris first in Act2 before moving onto Anders because, well... a girl can only take being told no so many times).
I couldn't kill him at the end though - I'd friend romanced him, and to me it seemed he has Justice under so much more control when you're there to support him. He is able to keep Justice essentially in check, and from reading the early pages of this thread it seems like I might have been in the minority, when I thought "Dammit Anders, now we have to fight EVERYONE? Pick your mopey arse up and help." (And after reading the Anders/Andraste stuff I'm even more glad I'll let him live - I'll always let him live - because I am NOT having the mages paint my mage sympathetic rogue as a bad guy for the rest of eternity!!!).
I see the Anders/Justice story echo'd a bit in the Feynril quests - if you help Feynril find his inner strength he's better off than if you just point out he's wrong. So friend romance it is, which is why for my lady Hawke & Anders there isn't a
Happily Every After there's a
Leading a Revolution Ever After. They might not get to be peaceful but dammit they're gonna stick together and make a better future for mages/ elves/ any underdog.
Also in my first play through I let Katogen(?) the scarabas go back to the Quanari on the beach as I figured - his way of life, his choice. Nothing terribly dramatic there. This time

:crying:

:crying:... I wouldn't let him go back to his people to be killed and he said something along the lines of "forcing choice is not choice" gave me a trinket and told me to remember this day and then killed himself a burst of flame (which looked a lot like Meredith at the end). Admittedly Anders chewed it out for being a load of brainwashed pish-posh which would have been funny first time round but this time it just made me desperately sad.

Which is another reason I couldn't kill Anders at the end - if Anders truly wanted to die he could have killed himself, been in the Chantry, hell ran at Meredith and let
her smite him. But no, he gave me the choice. So I'll lead him, I'll guide him, and with my help and support we're going to kick some chantry arse! (I've always disliked the Chantry in the games - Lelianna *slap*).