Addai67 wrote...
CulturalGeekGirl wrote...
Addai67 wrote...
Okay... I know I'm trolling, but I have to ask... why would you ("you" as in a reasonably grounded, mature PC) ever consent to be in a relationship with someone like this? Arm's length, okay, but a romantic relationship with someone so codependent and with no sense of self? Is it to fix him? Exploit him? Those are the only two reasons i can come up with, and this is even apart from the whole abomination thing.
Perhaps... because you love them?
I'm the worst person to ask about this... I'm more Zevran than Anders, when it comes to my history of past relationships, but love isn't about being reasonable or rational. It's about being in god damned bloody love and nobody can take that from you.
Being in love is when all the songs suddenly make sense, and Anders makes so very, very many songs make sense. Most of them sad songs that I could never imagine identifying with. But you bleed just to know you're alive, yeah?
The reason I stressed "grown up relationships" is because to my ears this is a teenage mentality. A grown up should know that you do not get romantically involved with the unemployed drug addict (or whatever RL correlation for an unstable guy in deep sh*t you'd like to draw) simply because he has redeeming qualities. You're not going to fix him, and chances are good he's going to drag you down with him.
At least the writers show how that sort of thinking usually pans out. 
But, I appreciate the replies from everyone. I was just puzzled at the appeal. I still am, but that's fine. For the record, I agree all the LIs are f'ed up and though I liked Fenris' romance, it walks the line, too. I just have to blink and ignore the three-year timeout or the fact that he's living in a mansion with ten year-old corpses. lol
Just to clarify, I am a full grown adult, and a doctor (I am not a doctor). I'm probably about five years older than the average Bioware boards poster, based on an informal survey we took in the Garrus thread a few months ago. My opinions on this come from a long line of boringly stable relationships that end in boringly amicable decisions that it's not worth seeing each other anymore. I'm old enough be able to
objectively appreciate the value of drama, and, I think, old enough to survive it.
The thing is, Anders' situation fundamentally different from normal mental illness because he basically has an avenging angel inside him. I put a lot of stock in the supernatural (as well as in Supernatural. That show was excellent). If a guy who was an honest-to-god vampire showed up and gave me some drama, I would go with him... not because I have a thing for vampires (I don't. I have a thing for angels and fey. There's a
difference), but because of the novelty of it... the idea that something magical and untouchable and unique was after me. Even if I end up drained of all my blood, I end up drained of all my blood by something
beyond the ken of mortal men. I'd rather die at the hands of something mysterious and interesting than live a life of mundanity. I'd rather touch the life beyond the veil than die not knowing anything beyond a cubicle.
(Note for clarification - I don't actually believe that there are physically vampires and angels and ghosts and all that. But if I was presented with solid evidence of them, I would be delighted. I would embrace the idea, while actively questioning it, but I wouldn't be that idiot in the move who spends the entire film staring at the wizard and saying "but here HAS to be a RATIONAL explanation for it." The rational explanation is that magic exists and it's totally badass.)
Back to the idea of the appeal, beyond the idea of touching something truly beyond this world. I'd say it's like the idea of being in a relationship with Robert Downey Jr. That guy... he is messed up. But as messed up as he is, none of his crazy drug-fueled binges ever resulted in him actually hurting anyone other than himself. And with that screwed-up-ness comes a great deal of talent, a dynamite sense of humor, and a good dose of humility. I would still totally date Robert Downey Jr, in real life, with all his baggage. I would NOT date Charlie Sheen. There's a difference there that's hopefully obvious?
Now, you could argue that Anders has hurt people in his lyrium-fueld binges. That's true, but you're in a world where you routinely kill ten thugs before breakfast. I understand that some of that is gameplay/story separation, but Thedas is just not here.
I agree with what Amondra said, about dating someone who is bi-polar. I've got severe ADD, which can someitmes manifest symptoms similar to minor bi-polar, so I'm very sympathetic toward bi-polar people. I actually once talked someone out of committing suicide, which is still pretty much my proudest achievement in life. We weren't dating at the time (just. no.), but what if we had been? Some people are just natural therapists, natural healers, natural listening ears, natural support systems. It's those people who should be dating the crazy.
You're welcome?
Modifié par CulturalGeekGirl, 11 juin 2011 - 09:25 .