Alright, prepare for a wall of text. Yesterday when we were having the DA:O/DA2 discussion I didn't have a chance to read everything and actually solidify my thoughts. Now I have... so... I apologize in advance.
On Origins and character attachment
The fact that the world was unsympathetic to my problems actually helped me create my character in Origins. I had to decide how my Warden reacted to the fact that she was thrust into a world where her problems were considered insignificant in light of the blight, and each of my Wardens processed that differently, which established their baseline personalities. Mahariel was easily annoyed by things she saw as illogical but fiercely loyal to those who showed her respect, Amell was timid and deferential until she gained confidence, and Tabris hates you so much.
Mahariel decided that her old life was gone and she was a Warden now, so it was time to care about Warden things (which, rapidly, meant Alistair.) The fact that nobody cared about her past made sense because they were all shems and clearly didn't understand anything. DA:O with the Dalish warden felt like a subversion of both the Mighty Whitey and Noble Savage tropes, with this crazy person from a downtrodden people coming into the world, quickly acclimating, and then running this place. Running this place with extreme prejudice. For the Dalish Elf (and to a lesser extent, the city elf and mage) I felt like the origin was supposed to inform your perspective and then get out of the way, rather than be a plot point throughout. Those were the main ones I played; it sounds like some of the other origins made promises they couldn't keep, which is admittedly unfortunate.
On DA:O vs DA2 and character development:
In DA:O, every time we see the Warden, she's doing something, even if whatever it is she does is a horrible mistake. Every time she encounters a thing, she learns as much as she can about it and tries to solve the problem in whatever way she can.
While the time skips are a great storytelling tool, they contribute to Hawke feeling ineffective sometimes. I love them in many ways: they allow for more development, they give time for fic, they allow the political situation to develop gradually. Where they go wrong is that they provide long stretches of time when I feel like my Hawke isn't doing or learning anything.
In DA:O there were few times when I yelled at my screen, begging my Warden to ask about something that a party member mentioned offhand. This happened constantly in DA:2. Ask Anders why he sometimes refers to Justice as a separate thing! Ask Fenris what else he knows about the Qunari! Ask Isabella if she knows what it's like in Rivain! Ask Merril how the Dalish deal with abominations! In most cases, if a party member expressed knowledge about a thing, you could bug them a bit more about it later, and be satisfied.
I think that dropping info-dumps for more incidental dialogue in quests was a mistake, at least to the huge extent that they did it. I'd trade three short quips for an equivalent word-budget of valuable information. For the most part, the quest incidentals don't usually provide you with any significant exposition, and take away the feeling of your character "seeking out" information. I'm not saying we need to go back to DA:O, but a hybrid system might help to give Hawke more of an inquisitive nature. As it was, I feel like Hawke is fundamentally not a curious person, which is something I will admit to having trouble roleplaying.
In this circumstance, there was usually loads of valuable information that party members would naturally know that was relevant to the story and that we do not have access to for no good reason, character or story wise. In DA:O we had Sten's impassiveness and Morrigan's mysteriousness to explain why certain lines of questioning weren't more productive, but at least you could TRY.
I think the main problem was that the game gave you so many friends with such a wealth of resources and knowledge, many diverse and interesting dilemmas, and years to work on them. It felt like you had an embarrassment of riches compared to the Warden, but the game failed to give you opportunities to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
So most of my problems with Hawke vs the Warden aren't actually about specific personalities, rather they are about the imbalance between resources provided, time available, and efforts made.
Where Hawke's limitations show through is in places like the whole "til the day we die!" thing, and other situations like it. When you hear people describe their interactions with Alistair, you get very different perceptions of their respective roles in the relationship. Every romance with Anders is one of two rigidly set storylines, with little variation possible once you embark on a "path," and, in many situations, no real variation even between the paths. Also, with Hawke I feel there are more situations where the three things you can say are just three different phrasings of the same general idea or emotion, whereas with the Warden I more often felt that the options represented more divergent ideas., rather than just divergent tones.
TL:DR
In DA:O, when there was a problem I couldn't solve, I felt like I knew why I couldn't solve it. In DA2 there were many problems that I didn't know why I wasn't able to work on, which made me feel powerless. Giving me a reason WHY I definitely can't do a thing is better than just having my character never even think or talk about it.
In DA:O I felt like I was always able to express very different opinions, and I was often able to take different actions. In DA:2 I often felt like I was doing or saying the same thing with a different inflection, rather than choosing between different ideas or philosophies.