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[Rifneno]

Wound Hawke wrote...

"Can i have some salamanders please?"

Don't do it!  I think that's where the "boom" comes from!

I can't narrow it down to just one.    Most of them require the previous lines to make sense, so...

---

Isabela: But, maybe you could indulge him more. Are there areas of intimacy you haven't explored?
Aveline: Why? Why do you give me these doubts!
Isabela: Aveline. If you shove your thumb up his ass, I win.

---

Leliana: Isabela?
Isabela: "Sister Nightingale" indeed. I remember
it didn't take much to make you sing.
Leliana: *laughs awkwardly*
Varric: Is there anyone in Ferelden you haven't slept with?

Seriously, he's got a point.  They're going to meet a contact from Orlais, like a thousand miles away, some woman working for the Chantry.  She gets there, and he finds out Isabela has slept with her.  Wow.

---

Anders:  How's that sound?  A favor for a favor?
FemHawke:  Let's be a little more specific.  I don't do anything involving children or animals.

BTW, given this line, I was hugely disappointed that if FemHawke is romancing him when he talks about wanting another cat, she doesn't make the obvious pun.  I thought "maybe they just didn't want to be that direct with the dirty jokes" but then I heard Isabela give that thumb remark and that was very direct.

---

If male Hawke is romancing Anders.
Gamlen:  So I hear you invited that mage boy to live with you.  I guess I don't have to ask which one is the girl.

---

Aveline: You are very close to losing your printing blocks, Varric.
Varric: Once more I am falsely accused of whatever it is that I am accused of. Falsely.
Aveline: Someone swapped the text of my recruitment poster with some filth from the Blooming Rose.
Varric: That does sound pretty good.
Aveline: Sure, fill barracks with ****s. But you've also filled the Rose with guards.
Varric: It's true what they say. The best comedy comes from tragedy.

Overall, pretty much anything involving Isabela is hilarious if you like dirty jokes.  When I had a much bigger list I had to cut down to a few, almost everything that went was Isabela.  And just on the basis of the fact I didn't want to only give her lines.  And if Aveline is around...  comedy gold mine.

[backrow]

• Hawke (to Fenris): "Merrill's quite capable of handling herself."
Merrill: "I am? I mean - yes, of course I am!"
• Merrill about Qunari: "They're so big and grim! What do you suppose would happen if I tickled one of them ?"
• Merill answering about whether Eluvian poses danger to people of Kirkwall “not unless it falls on top of someone, it is quite heavy”.
• Merill’s dire kittens and poisonous flowers quote. (dont quite remember it!)

but basically, Merrill, Isabela and Varric take the cake. Aveline is a good companion with all the Isabela banter.

[Wompoo]

"20 silver he says, it wasn't me it was the one armed man" (I must be getting old, I still remember the TV series of the Fugitive in glorious black and white). Had a good laugh, as it was the last thing I expected Varric to say.

Modifié par Wompoo, 30 mars 2011 - 02:46 .

[Roonya]

"'...And then, Isabela went to the Chantry, and saw, that it was... boring.' Canticle of Isabela, stanza one, verse one."

[sylvanaerie]

In the final Conversation with Merrill prior to resolving the issue with the Circle in Act 3, she asks of Hawke if this seems like a dream. Snarky Response (which I was playing) gave this response. Once I got done dropping my jaw on the floor I just couldn't stop laughing hearing that line come out of this face!

It would seem the King of Ferelden is not the only one who has that dream!  Her next line was a giggle at the idea of the Champion charging naked into battle...then a lament she never has that dream!

Modifié par sylvanaerie, 30 mars 2011 - 07:59 .

[Giggles_Manically]

Isabela: Dwarves are funny.

During Bait and Switch.

[Vuokseniska]

Unfortunately merrill is so stupid that she has the best line... although most are just annoying

Merrill: The Qunari must like it here, to stay so long.
Aveline: From what I've seen, the Qunari don't like anything.
Merrill: That can't be true. They must like some things... Sunshine? Butterflies? Rainbows?
Aveline: If I spot a Qunari admiring butterflies, Merrill, you'll be the first person I tell.

[Dark-sider77]

backrow wrote...

• Hawke (to Fenris): "Merrill's quite capable of handling herself."
Merrill: "I am? I mean - yes, of course I am!"
• Merrill about Qunari: "They're so big and grim! What do you suppose would happen if I tickled one of them ?"
• Merill answering about whether Eluvian poses danger to people of Kirkwall “not unless it falls on top of someone, it is quite heavy”.
• Merill’s dire kittens and poisonous flowers quote. (dont quite remember it!)

but basically, Merrill, Isabela and Varric take the cake. Aveline is a good companion with all the Isabela banter.

I think i remember the last Merrill line you mention, it goes somthing like this.

Hawke: Merril, is there any thing that doesn't make you nervous? flowers or bunnies prehaps?
Merrill: well...what about poisonous flowers or....or......Dire Bunnies?

(actually, you might be right about it being kittens, and i am just thinking Bunnies because animals that are both deadly and cute remind me of a certian rabbit from Monty Python's Holy Grail)

[sylvanaerie]

It was bunnies. I immediately thought of Oren when she said it. Dire bunnies hehe

[backrow]

Dark-sider77 wrote...

backrow wrote...

• Hawke (to Fenris): "Merrill's quite capable of handling herself."
Merrill: "I am? I mean - yes, of course I am!"
• Merrill about Qunari: "They're so big and grim! What do you suppose would happen if I tickled one of them ?"
• Merill answering about whether Eluvian poses danger to people of Kirkwall “not unless it falls on top of someone, it is quite heavy”.
• Merill’s dire kittens and poisonous flowers quote. (dont quite remember it!)

but basically, Merrill, Isabela and Varric take the cake. Aveline is a good companion with all the Isabela banter.

I think i remember the last Merrill line you mention, it goes somthing like this.

Hawke: Merril, is there any thing that doesn't make you nervous? flowers or bunnies prehaps?
Merrill: well...what about poisonous flowers or....or......Dire Bunnies?

(actually, you might be right about it being kittens, and i am just thinking Bunnies because animals that are both deadly and cute remind me of a certian rabbit from Monty Python's Holy Grail)

ah nice one, Dark-Sider! it was bunnies then, haha

Merrill is just too cute to be true. Especially considering she is, after all, a blood mage, and completely unapolegetic about it, too! 

[Loup Blanc]

Samson: '' She has her sword so far up her ass she can cut you with her tongue '' (about Meredith).

Modifié par JL81, 31 mars 2011 - 01:44 .

[Johnjc]

For me it was when You clicked on sandal he says "May i have some salamanders please?" then bohdan says "Don't do it i think that's where the boom comes from" lol

Modifié par Johnjc, 31 mars 2011 - 04:12 .

[Rifneno]

You know, there's a lot of comedy lines listed here but little or no badass lines.  The best one I've come across was playing a rogue and doing the Wayward Son quest where you save Feynriel.

Slaver: <holding a sword to Feynriel's throat> Take one more step, and the boy dies.
Hawke:  (Option: I don't need to step.)  This is as close as I get.
Followed by a slow-motion scene of Hawke grabbing a dagger from her belt and throwing it at the slaver on the ledge in the blink of an eye.  The dagger hits the slaver directly in the windpipe and he collapses, gurgling on his own blood as he tries to breathe.

I had to pause the game to just bask in the awesome of what just happened.  It was only available when I was playing a rogue so presumably it's locked by class.  Or dex, or something.  Makes me wonder what other hidden awesome options are out there.

[Liliandra Nadiar]

Rifneno wrote...

If male Hawke is romancing Anders.
Gamlen:  So I hear you invited that mage boy to live with you.  I guess I don't have to ask which one is the girl.

Flawless Victory responce, courtesy of aimo.

[LT123]

Cullen: "Enough! This is not what the Order stands for. Knight-Commander, step down. I relieve you of your command!"

And also from Cullen: "You'll have to go through me."

So awesome, especially considering his development from Origins.

Fenris: "Na via lerno victoria. 'Only the living know victory.' Fight well." Gideon Emery is excellent.

Also Hawke's rageface when your companion is taken hostage. "You hurt my friend, you die." I am now a Jo Wyatt fan.

Anders, regarding Amaranthine: "Hordes of darkspawn, psychotic broodmothers-usual Warden business."

[Nodscouter]

Varric: ''Rivaini, stop looking at my chest. My eyes are up here!''
Isabela: ''But... your chest hair....''
Varric: ''Do you know how much I suffer under your gaze? I am not an object, I am a person!''
Isabela: ''Uuuuh...''
Varric: ''Relax Rivaini, I'm just ****ting you!''

Oh Varric, such a troll.

Magistrate: ''I need someone with your skills''
Trolol-Hakwe: ''I'm guessing you don't mean my ability to juggle small rodents to Orlesian ballads''
Magistrate: ''If that is your greatest skill, I've been misinformed. I need muscle, not.... whatever you just described''

Modifié par Nodscouter, 01 avril 2011 - 07:04 .

[RyuStrife]

Male Hawke: Oh...Sundermount seems very mountanious today.... Lots of rocks. And Hillside.

[sylvanaerie]

Smart Mouth Hawke dropping off the bag of bones to Emeric found at the conclusion of the Act 1 Quentin quest (I forget the name of it).

Hawke: Recognize your mage?
Bethany: You're horrible!

The look on lil sis' face is just precious!

[vantick]

Isabela: So, how is Donnic? Is he c*cksure?
Aveline: Just get it out of your system.
Isabela: Did he curl your toes? Praise your Maker? Dampen your Divine? Pamper your Paragon? Arl your Eamon? Or master your taint? That's an old one. [could've been in a different order]
Aveline: Yes, all right, he's incredibly proficiet lover. Happy?
Isabela: Well that's rather personal don't you think?

I died at 'Arl your Eamon'.

Modifié par vantick, 01 avril 2011 - 10:37 .

[MICHELLE7]

In the Blooming Rose:

Don't have exact dialogue but here it goes.

First prostitute: He wanted me to dress up like the Viscount.
Second prostitute: That's just sick...you should never bring politics into the bedroom.

[Bayz]

Rifneno wrote...


Don't do it!  I think that's where the "boom" comes from!

Leliana: Isabela?
Isabela: "Sister Nightingale" indeed. I remember
it didn't take much to make you sing.
Leliana: *laughs awkwardly*
Varric: Is there anyone in Ferelden you haven't slept with?
.

Varric Epicness in it's splendour

[D.Sharrah]

Don't remember the specifics, but banter b/w Anders and Varric - Varric asking him why woule he want a cat and not something like an owl...Anders responds by saying that no self respecting wizard would have an owl as a pet.

[NeoDarke]

D.Sharrah wrote...

Don't remember the specifics, but banter b/w Anders and Varric - Varric asking him why woule he want a cat and not something like an owl...Anders responds by saying that no self respecting wizard would have an owl as a pet.

I'd totally have a wolf as a "familar". Though if the wolf leaves, and I stubble across a rather hot woman with eyes the same color as the wolf... Yeah...


*Bonus points to anyone who gets that.

[sammcl]

I heard this one today, it cracked me up, it doesn't really seem that funny on paper but it's delivery was superb

Merrill: How did you learn swording?
Carver: "Swording"?
Merrill: Those things you do with the sword. It looks tricky. Was it hard to learn?
Carver: It takes a lot of practice.
Merrill: Well, you seem good at it! I bet one day you'll be best sworder in Kirkwall.
Carver: Merrill...
Merrill: I said something wrong again, didn't I? Maybe I'll just stop talking.

[LadyBri]

Just recently heard this one

Isabela "The Blooming Rose...where people come and then they go."