Sometime after I maxed out friendship with Anders and continued to use the flirting options with him. After the Act 2 companion quests for Anders he kissed me, and one thing led to another and we were back at my estate. Before we do the deed, he asks me about Isabela. I chose the LIE option and say there's nothing between us. It had the fingers crossed icon which was different than the heart option.
At the end of Act 2 when Isabela finally admitted her full involvement with the Qunari I told her she could keep the artifact, fully expecting to get to confront the dude wanting to kill her and get it back after kicking his ass. She ran off and disappeared with the artifact until my fight with the Arishok.
The rest of this I'm not entirely sure on the timing on, but at some point either right after Isabela ran off with the artifact or right at the beginning of Act 3, Anders was in my estate talking about how he was afraid the templars were closing in on his hideout. I told him to hide at my estate cuz I'm all about harboring mages from templars. Partially because I was half-romancing him, but I wanted Isabela more and already promised her I'd sail off with her.
Act 3 was mostly an Anders romance, which I was okay with, but disappointed I never got an option to break up with him and go with Isabela. At the end of Act 3, after Anders went insane, I sided with the mages and told Anders to help me make things right. When we were back in the courtyard with Orsino, I told him I couldn't leave with him. I talked to Isabela and had no more flirting options, and it didn't consider I was still hitting her on the side. I didn't get the romantic achievement. After the fight was over, Varric says that they all eventually left the champion's side "All except for Anders." Despite breaking up with him, he still was in my ending. I was okay with that, but the lack of an option to fall back to Isabela was annoying.
Then I played from my pre-Anders going insane save and changed a few decisions. I chose the "you could have trusted me" and the "i'll stay with you" and all the flirting options to seal the romance. I finished the game again, and this time Varric says "All except for Isabelanders" Yes, he said it exactly like that, as if he ran through both voice samples at the same time. The subtitles said Isabela.
I'm pretty baffled how that exactly happened with my save at the end, and pretty annoyed I wasn't given more opportunities to truly choose who I was going to romance after I was active with both of them. I had a similar thing with Alistair and Lelilana and Zevran in DA:O but in the end everything worked out amazingly. I romanced both Leliana and Alistair, and eventually was forced to pick one of them. I picked Alistair. Then Zevran shows up and sweeps me off my feet. I stay with Alistair until he leaves after I refused to kill Loghain. My final story was Alistair disappeared and became a drunkard -> Zevran never loved again. It really seemed like the perfect way to handle multiple love interests over the course of the story. I didn't get that out of DA2
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