315 réponses à ce sujet

[android654]

Captain Cornhole wrote...

4. Morals
5. Fun in bed

LOL!

@ Op, If you start worrying about someone's subconscious feeding then hidden signals on whether or not she'll find you attractive, you'll be beating yourself up over every girl you walk past. However, biology is sometimes at war with psychology, so take that with a grain of salt.

Just learn to breathe, it sounds like you could use it. Also, you don't have to get entangled with every woman you see, or even get involved with.

[Volus Warlord]

AshiraShepard wrote...

Soundsystem wrote...
Oh hi "Nice Guy Syndrome". How are you?

Just because you think that the option they choose is dull doesn't make it so. A girl is not obligated to go out with anyone she is friendly with or gets on great with. You are not entitled to her because you have spent SO LONG WAITING.

I know lots of people I get on brilliantly with yet wouldn't want to date, because they're great friends but their personality is not what I want in someone I date.

This crosses over into painful terrority that just makes women patently confusing.

Not saying all girls are like that, or that people are supposed to feel entilted, but it can get twisted.

I read this and I wanted to shout "Amen!" haha..:crying:/facepalm

[android654]

@Volus Warlord There's a reason nice guys finish last. It's their own fault.

[Wicked 702]

I really find it funny that some people don't think a "nice guy" can be strong and confident. It's called having an opinion and knowing how to get the job done without intentionally stepping on other people's toes. Mutual respect that's earned. I might be cordial or kind to a stranger but I'm really only trying to get rid of them. I'm only going to treat you like my queen IF you're my queen.

Being a "pushover" or "walking all over someone" in a relationship is a sign of manipulation. You've got mental problems. Seriously, don't bother talking to me. I'm not going to waste my "nice guy" time on that crap.

Wanting "excitement" or "adventure" is fine, but expecting that to come from a person instead of a hobby or activity is a sign of immaturity. It's the EXPERIENCES shared that matter, the mutual interest of the parties that makes it exciting. How exactly is a "nice guy" incapable of this?

If this is a discussion on how to get laid, then by all means play the jerk role. It functions fantastically in most settings. But you're much less likely to end up with the type of girl that's "THE girl" if you go that route.

[Volus Warlord]

android654 wrote...

@Volus Warlord There's a reason nice guys finish last. It's their own fault.

I do not believe I am a "nice guy," but I cannot seem to strike a medium.

Yes, I do try to be polite and understanding towards women in most circumstances, but I'm somewhat infamous for saying things to girls that make threaten me for weeks. Only to girls that ****** me off though. Those biatches need to be put in their place.

"if you are short on money... you can always just f*** your boss!" /slap

"Wow, you sound like the chair of a lesbian society!" /slap

"I don't tell you how to blow frat (idiots), don't tell me how to-" /slap

And the list goes on. I'm an absolutist: I'm either very polite or a complete.. you get the point.

[android654]

Volus Warlord wrote...

android654 wrote...

@Volus Warlord There's a reason nice guys finish last. It's their own fault.

I do not believe I am a "nice guy," but I cannot seem to strike a medium.

Yes, I do try to be polite and understanding towards women in most circumstances, but I'm somewhat infamous for saying things to girls that make threaten me for weeks. Only to girls that ****** me off though. Those biatches need to be put in their place.

"if you are short on money... you can always just f*** your boss!" /slap

"Wow, you sound like the chair of a lesbian society!" /slap

"I don't tell you how to blow frat (idiots), don't tell me how to-" /slap

And the list goes on. I'm an absolutist: I'm either very polite or a complete.. you get the point.

I was responding to your link, not you.

Nice guys sabotage themselves by playing the submissive card their entire lives. They do this so much so that many go their whole lives doing nothing but consuming space. Eventually they become middle aged, either with a self destructive habit or obsession. Or, if they're truly unlucky, they'll find themselves trapped by another person they can't stand with no hope for an exit. Not everyone wants or needs a therapist in every single conversation. You do know you can have a superficial conversation? It's permissible, especially when you first meet someone.

If you go to extremes over some dumb chick saying something stupid, you're being ridiculous. It takes so much less effort to just cut someone off. If i deal with anyone I can't stand, delete the number and I'm done. Very simple. No need for extremes because someone's an absolute moron over some things.

@Wicked 702

The whole concept of "The One." is so illusory that I'm amazed people still hope for such a thing. Sure, the rare occasion may occur when two persons find someone who feels as though they were made for them. The truth however is people worthy of that are very few on this planet, so searching for them in particular is such a waste of time.

Modifié par android654, 28 mars 2011 - 08:45 .

[Wicked 702]

android654 wrote...

@Wicked 702

The whole concept of "The One." is so illusory that I'm amazed people still hope for such a thing. Sure, the rare occasion may occur when two persons find someone who feels as though they were made for them. The truth however is people worthy of that are very few on this planet, so searching for them in particular is such a waste of time.

I said "THE girl" not "The One." There's a huge difference. "THE girl" is the one worth keeping around, maybe bringing to your family, and maybe even considering a long-term life. There's obviously not just 1 human being in all the vast world that can fit this role.

On the other hand, the type of girl I've met while playing the jerk role is the kind most suited to be thrown out like a used condom.

Savvy?

[Shirosaki17]

android654 wrote...

Volus Warlord wrote...

android654 wrote...

@Volus Warlord There's a reason nice guys finish last. It's their own fault.

I do not believe I am a "nice guy," but I cannot seem to strike a medium.

Yes, I do try to be polite and understanding towards women in most circumstances, but I'm somewhat infamous for saying things to girls that make threaten me for weeks. Only to girls that ****** me off though. Those biatches need to be put in their place.

"if you are short on money... you can always just f*** your boss!" /slap

"Wow, you sound like the chair of a lesbian society!" /slap

"I don't tell you how to blow frat (idiots), don't tell me how to-" /slap

And the list goes on. I'm an absolutist: I'm either very polite or a complete.. you get the point.

I was responding to your link, not you.

Nice guys sabotage themselves by playing the submissive card their entire lives. They do this so much so that many go their whole lives doing nothing but consuming space. Eventually they become middle aged, either with a self destructive habit or obsession. Or, if they're truly unlucky, they'll find themselves trapped by another person they can't stand with no hope for an exit. Not everyone wants or needs a therapist in every single conversation. You do know you can have a superficial conversation? It's permissible, especially when you first meet someone.

If you go to extremes over some dumb chick saying something stupid, you're being ridiculous. It takes so much less effort to just cut someone off. If i deal with anyone I can't stand, delete the number and I'm done. Very simple. No need for extremes because someone's an absolute moron over some things.

@Wicked 702

The whole concept of "The One." is so illusory that I'm amazed people still hope for such a thing. Sure, the rare occasion may occur when two persons find someone who feels as though they were made for them. The truth however is people worthy of that are very few on this planet, so searching for them in particular is such a waste of time.

Are you ok? Is everything alright?

[Shirosaki17]

Wicked 702 wrote...

android654 wrote...

@Wicked 702

The whole concept of "The One." is so illusory that I'm amazed people still hope for such a thing. Sure, the rare occasion may occur when two persons find someone who feels as though they were made for them. The truth however is people worthy of that are very few on this planet, so searching for them in particular is such a waste of time.

I said "THE girl" not "The One." There's a huge difference. "THE girl" is the one worth keeping around, maybe bringing to your family, and maybe even considering a long-term life. There's obviously not just 1 human being in all the vast world that can fit this role.

On the other hand, the type of girl I've met while playing the jerk role is the kind most suited to be thrown out like a used condom.

Savvy?

You should never pretend to be someone you're not. If you're a nice guy, be that nice guy, that's what you are after all.

[android654]

Wicked 702 wrote...

android654 wrote...

@Wicked 702

The whole concept of "The One." is so illusory that I'm amazed people still hope for such a thing. Sure, the rare occasion may occur when two persons find someone who feels as though they were made for them. The truth however is people worthy of that are very few on this planet, so searching for them in particular is such a waste of time.

I said "THE girl" not "The One." There's a huge difference. "THE girl" is the one worth keeping around, maybe bringing to your family, and maybe even considering a long-term life. There's obviously not just 1 human being in all the vast world that can fit this role.

On the other hand, the type of girl I've met while playing the jerk role is the kind most suited to be thrown out like a used condom.

Savvy?

...A girl. nothing really setting her apart from others like her. She's amiable, fun and sweet, but there's a bunch just like her. The op doesn't need to fret so much to find someone like that, neither does he have to force interest in problems or non-problems of someone he recently met.

Unfortunately, guys are much more uniform than women, so I can't imagine the work women or gay guys go through to find a "good one."

Shirosaki17 wrote...]Are you ok? Is everything alright?

Yup, pretty relaxed, about to do some yoga actually.

Shirosaki17 wrote...]]You should never pretend to be someone you're not. If you're a nice guy, be that nice guy, that's what you are after all.

That's a good point, but you should also keep in mind that when you approach a girl as that type of guy, you can't really be upset when she responds to you as a buddy.

Modifié par android654, 28 mars 2011 - 08:59 .

[Wicked 702]

Shirosaki17 wrote...

You should never pretend to be someone you're not. If you're a nice guy, be that nice guy, that's what you are after all.

College, the time of experimentation, learning, and change.

Being a certain way will attract a certain type of individual. I learned that this was not the type of individual I really wanted. Valuable knowledge of who to avoid and how to do so in the future. I have always been myself.

android654 wrote...

That's a good point, but you should also keep in mind that when you
approach a girl as that type of guy, you can't really be upset when she
responds to you as a buddy.

See above. The type of girl that would respond in such a way is the type I would now choose to avoid.

Modifié par Wicked 702, 28 mars 2011 - 09:11 .

[Shirosaki17]

android654 wrote...

Shirosaki17 wrote...]Are you ok? Is everything alright?

Yup, pretty relaxed, about to do some yoga actually.

haha, I wasn't really asking. I was just making fun of the nice guys that always say stuff like that.

Modifié par Shirosaki17, 29 mars 2011 - 12:12 .

[Mecha Tengu]

girls like bad boys in teenage years

start to realize that nice guys were the ones making it far in life when adult

[Blood-Lord Thanatos]

I can be pretty Frightening when I'm Angry, but I am usually nice to women. I have this talent for going berzerk when I'm really angered beyond belief, thankfully I have learned to conserve my anger and harness my rage for my videogaming sessions.

Chivalry has been bred into me from birth, as is the Berzerkergang trait of my nordic ancestors.

[Volus Warlord]

Mecha Tengu wrote...

girls like bad boys in teenage years

start to realize that nice guys were the ones making it far in life when adult

Yes, but by then half of them have 3 kids and I don't like them enough to raise some other shmuck's children

*No offense intended to the children*

[slimgrin]

android654 wrote...

@Volus Warlord There's a reason nice guys finish last. It's their own fault.

Indeed. Women like domineering jerks. I've seen it time and again. Problem is, I just can't bring myself to be one.

[Godak]

android654 wrote...

...A girl. nothing really setting her apart from others like her. She's amiable, fun and sweet, but there's a bunch just like her. (1) The op doesn't need to fret so much to find someone like that, neither does he have to force interest in problems or non-problems of someone he recently met.

(2) Unfortunately, guys are much more uniform than women, so (3) I can't imagine the work women or gay guys go through to find a "good one."

1. I don't believe he is forcing anyone to do anything. You don't need to post. You don't need to read other people's posts. Hell, you don't even need to have an account on these forums.

2. I'm so happy that I don't have your brain. How does it feel to think in a straight line, unable to discern subtle differences between individuals?

3. I sincerely hope you don't think it's women doing all the work in a desperate attempt to find someone who doesn't exist, because guys are so gosh darned "uniform". There are plenty of good guys and good gals who hookup and lead happy, fulfilling lives. Is it hard work? Certainly. Is it rewarding? You betcha.

I won't even start on the "gay guys" comment.

[android654]

Godak wrote...

1. I don't believe he is forcing anyone to do anything. You don't need to post. You don't need to read other people's posts. Hell, you don't even need to have an account on these forums.

2. I'm so happy that I don't have your brain. How does it feel to think in a straight line, unable to discern subtle differences between individuals?

3. I sincerely hope you don't think it's women doing all the work in a desperate attempt to find someone who doesn't exist, because guys are so gosh darned "uniform". There are plenty of good guys and good gals who hookup and lead happy, fulfilling lives. Is it hard work? Certainly. Is it rewarding? You betcha.

I won't even start on the "gay guys" comment.

1. Apparently you didn't comprehend what I was saying there.

-Nice guys play therapist to every girl they give minor attention to. its disingenuous to say that someone truly cares for another individuals problems without even knowing the person. Instead of being the ever traveling shoulder, being more sincere would be appreciated by people.

2. You honestly believe every individual has something that sets them apart from the majority? If so, that's a very naive view of human nature. Minor knowledge of sociology would show you that.

3. again, see #2. Most people aren't "that" person. If were being anal about the whole thing, most people aren't even that good to begin with. but that's another discussion altogether.

Whats wrong with gay guys? They're gay, they're guys. Are you alluding to that being offensive?

slimgrin wrote...

android654 wrote...

@Volus Warlord There's a reason nice guys finish last. It's their own fault.

Indeed. Women like domineering jerks. I've seen it time and again. Problem is, I just can't bring myself to be one.

You don't have to be an a**hole in order to "get ahead," but nice guys have a tendency to play victim at almost every opportunity they're given. If you act nice, or are even genuinely nice to every person you see, that's fine. You either chose to, or that is you state of being, and its best that you're honest to yourself. However, if you use it as an excuse to say you deserve something or someone, then you're more of a sycophant and a leech than a "nice guy."

I'm not saying one can't be nice, or if someone is they need to change who they are. People need to realize that not everything nor everyone lives up to your ideals. Sometimes you get "the" girl/guy, sometimes you don't. Sometimes they're nice about it, sometimes they're sh**ty about it, but you can't make someone want you because you're a "good" person or good to them.

It sucks, but you can't write how your life is going to play out. You can try but it'll never be dead on.

Modifié par android654, 29 mars 2011 - 02:39 .

[Godak]

android654 wrote...

-Nice guys play therapist to every girl they give minor attention to. its disingenuous to say that someone truly cares for another individuals problems without even knowing the person. Instead of being the ever traveling shoulder, being more sincere would be appreciated by people.

I'd like to say that I'm a nice guy, within reason. I care about peoples' problems, but I also realize that I can't take on a share of the burden if I've JUST met the person. Many other men I've met who I consider "nice guys" are quite similar. Are there others who do match your description? Absolutely. But massive generalizations like that are, quite frankly, BS.

android654 wrote...

2. You honestly believe every individual has something that sets them apart from the majority? If so, that's a very naive view of human nature. Minor knowledge of sociology would show you that.

Sociology is not law. It is essentially a massive study that will NEVER end. Humans are always changing, as is society.

adroid654 wrote...

3. again, see #2. Most people aren't "that" person. If were being anal about the whole thing, most people aren't even that good to begin with. but that's another discussion altogether.

Thank you for confirming your cynicism. It's much appreciated.

adroid654 wrote...

Whats wrong with gay guys? They're gay, they're guys.

You were alluding to them having a hard time with finding someone, as guys apparently are very "uniform", and most apparently come in undesirable flavors. Two guys = double the issues, which I disagree with. I think same sex couples experience the same types of conflict and difficulties as opposite sex couples.

adroid654 wrote...

Are you alluding to that being offensive?

Two words: reading comprehension.

android654 wrote...

However, if you use it as an excuse to say you deserve something or someone, then you're more of a sycophant and a leech.

If someone DOES use that as an excuse, they aren't really a "nice guy", are they?

[android654]

Godak wrote...I'd like to say that I'm a nice guy, within reason. I care about peoples' problems, but I also realize that I can't take on a share of the burden if I've JUST met the person. Many other men I've met who I consider "nice guys" are quite similar. Are there others who do match your description? Absolutely. But massive generalizations like that are, quite frankly, BS.

So you're denying one generalization by offering up another? Interesting.

I admit it was ad populum but it doesn't make what I said any less true as an observation.

Godak wrote...Sociology is not law. It is essentially a massive study that will NEVER end. Humans are always changing, as is society.

Its an observation of the current situation, nothing more. And as it stands, it gives a pretty well thought picture of human interaction. Unless you're trying to state that every single exchange between people is entirely unique, and we're all special little snowflakes. The claim is laughable at best.

There are individuals that are different or even unique, but those a few in between. Like everything else that originates in nature, people have a pattern, and like any beast most follow it.

Godak wrote...
You were alluding to them having a hard time with finding someone, as guys apparently are very "uniform", and most apparently come in undesirable flavors. Two guys = double the issues, which I disagree with. I think same sex couples experience the same types of conflict and difficulties as opposite sex couples.

lol! Ok, since "good guys" are difficult to find, I would assume those sexually attracted to them would have an equally difficult time finding one. How is that offensive? Also, its not the same for gay men and women to find people. It's easier as time has gone on, but most have to deal with a lot of sh*t straight people don't. That's a constant in society.

Godak wrote...

If someone DOES use that as an excuse, they aren't really a "nice guy", are they?

Ever heard anything like this...

"Why doesn't she like me? I'm nice, I talk to her about her problems, I make her laugh! Its like she doesn't notice me!"

or perhaps after talking to a girl once or twice

"Are you ok? Is everything alright? Do you need anything?"

Would you honestly say any thought like that comes off as genuinely caring or by a person who was hurt by not getting what they dersired.

Modifié par android654, 29 mars 2011 - 03:13 .

[Godak]

android654 wrote...

So you're denying one generalization by offering up another? Interesting.

I'd say I was a bit more upfront with showing that I was using purely anecdotal evidence. I got the impression that you thought you were spouting out facts. You weren't.

adroid654 wrote...

I admit it was ad populum but it doesn't make what I said any less true as an observation.

Yes, as an observation it is all well and good. If we can agree that we have observed different things in our different lives, then I'm willing to agree to disagree. What do you say?

adroid654 wrote...

Its an observation of the current situation, nothing more.

And that situation is always changing. ALWAYS. The largest changes, however, tend to be generational.

adroid654 wrote...

And as it stands, it gives a pretty well thought picture of human interaction.

I don't know about that. It tends to be that the more you know about something, the more you realize how much you DON'T know.

adroid654 wrote...

Unless you're trying to state that every single exchange between people is entirely unique, and we're all special little snowflakes. The claim is laughable at best.

Then laugh. People can be similar. People can be dealt with in the same manner. People are not, however, the same.

android654 wrote...

There are individuals that are different or even unique, but those a few in between. Like everything else that originates in nature, people have a pattern, and like any beast most follow it.

Patterns do not necessitate sameness. You can have a pattern of colors (X, Y, then Z, etc.), but that pattern is not the only pattern in existence. You can have X, Y, Z, or B, A, B, or X, B, X, etc.

android654 wrote...

How is that offensive?

I said I disagreed with the concept that gay men would have a hard time finding a gay man who is "acceptable".

Talking purely numbers? Yes, there are less gay men and women than there are straight men and women. If we are talking from this standpoint (I thought we were speaking in general situation...given situation A, how would a straight/gay man/women perform, etc, and I expressed my belief that I feel they could all perform admirably), I did not realize it.

android654 wrote...

Also, its not the same for gay men and women to find people. It's easier as time has gone on, but most have to deal with a lot of sh*t straight people don't. That's a constant in society.

Agreed. However, I am talking purely on an emotional basis. I believe that two gay men would have no more trouble with finding love than two gay women, or a straight man and a straight woman, etc. Socially, numerically, yes, it is more difficult.

android654 wrote...

Ever heard anything like this...

"Why doesn't she like me? I'm nice, I talk to her about her problems, I make her laugh! Its like she doesn't notice me!"

or perhaps after talking to a girl once or twice

"Are you ok? Is everything alright? Do you need anything?"

Would you honestly say any thought like that comes off as genuinely caring or by a person who was hurt by not getting what they dersired.

I agreed with you. I AM agreeing with you. People who make such excuses are not nice people. They are fakes, phonies. But nice people DO exists.

Modifié par Godak, 29 mars 2011 - 03:40 .

[android654]

Godak wrote...
I'd say I was a bit more upfront with showing that I was using purely anecdotal evidence. I got the impression that you thought you were spouting out facts. You weren't.

I'm not sure what you're conversations are like, but unless I'm having a debate, I don't site sources or throw out statistics in order to people to think I'm being objective. I think its pretty clear I was stating an opinion.

Godak wrote...
Yes, as an observation it is all well and good. If we can agree that we have observed different things in our different lives, then I'm willing to agree to disagree. What do you say?

Fine by me.

Godak wrote...And that situation is always changing. ALWAYS. The largest changes, however, tend to be generational.

And there's no observation concerning the world now? No observation on the OP's generation?

Godak wrote...
I don't know about that. It tends to be that the more you know about something, the more you realize how much you DON'T know.

That can be said about virtually anything. Approaching any argument with that though process is self defeating and kills conversations before they start. You have to go on with what you know, and figure out the rest from there.

Godak wrote...Then laugh. People can be similar. People can be dealt with in the same manner. People are not, however, the same.

LOL!

Might I suggest something? If you truly pay attention to people's actions and motivations for the things that they do, you'll realize most people are either terrified of existing or are sons of b*tches who do what they "must" in order to get the outcome they want. If people didn't do that, we'd have died off or at least progressed a lot slower than we have.

Patterns do not necessitate sameness. You can have a pattern of colors (X, Y, then Z, etc.), but that pattern is not the only pattern in existence. You can have X, Y, Z, or B, A, B, or X, B, X, etc.

That didn't make sense. If your variables are x,y,z, a and b don't come into the equation. You'll get xyz, zyx, zxy, etc. Sure it seems different, but the actual variables are there. Therein lies there similarities.

Godak wrote...I agreed with you. I AM agreeing with you. People who make such excuses are not nice people. They are fakes, phonies. But nice people DO exists.

But that's just it, you can be genuinely "nice" and "good" as a person. and you can be shot down by a girl time and time again, and feel horrible because of it. What do people do when something goes awry? They blame themselves or the other party, desperately trying to figure out why things didn't go their way, and thoughts like that would arise. Unless of course you'd like to argue that nice guys are completely selfless too.

To the OP, the only advice I'd suggest considering is this...

If you approach a girl like a buddy that's what you'll be. Not because of you or her, but because that's how you chose to present your interest in her. If you want her "romantically" or simply sexually, the same concept applies, interact with people the way you want to be interacted with.

[Godak]

android654 wrote...

I'm not sure what you're conversations are like, but unless I'm having a debate, I don't site sources or throw out statistics in order to people to think I'm being objective. I think its pretty clear I was stating an opinion.

As I said, as long as you WERE just stating an opinion, no harm done.

adroid654 wrote...

And there's no observation concerning the world now? No observation on the OP's generation?

Did I say that? Where did I say that? I don't think I said that. There are studies, but the studies aren't finished.

No, as each generation grows and matures, the ways in which they differ from previous generations becomes more evident. We have observations, but they are not complete, nor are they perfect.

adroid654...

You have to go on with what you know, and figure out the rest from there.

I believe that's called "bullsh!tting".

You go with what you know, and if you encounter something you don't know, learn about it.

adroid654 wrote...

Might I suggest something? If you truly pay attention to people's actions and motivations for the things that they do, you'll realize most people are either terrified of existing or are sons of b*tches who do what they "must" in order to get the outcome they want. If people didn't do that, we'd have died off or at least progressed a lot slower than we have.

Again, cynic.

adroid654 wrote...

That didn't make sense. If your variables are x,y,z, a and b don't come into the equation. You'll get xyz, zyx, zxy, etc. Sure it seems different, but the actual variables are there. Therein lies there similarities.

I never said that x, y, and z were the only variables. A pattern consisting of x, y, and z do not eliminate the possibility of a pattern existing with x, b, and, say...y. Again, humans are not absolutes.

adroid654 wrote...

Unless of course you'd like to argue that nice guys are completely selfless too.

No, not selfless, but not downright terrible, either. Rejection sucks, but that's no reason to partake in what is (essentially) self-destructive, or alienating behavior (depending on who you blame).

android654 wrote...

If you approach a girl like a buddy that's what you'll be. Not because of you or her, but because that's how you chose to present your interest in her. If you want her "romantically" or simply sexually, the same concept applies, interact with people the way you want to be interacted with.

Agreed. The only thing this doesn't cover is when someone wants to change an existing relationship (IE, friend to girlfried).

[android654]

Godak wrote...
Did I say that? Where did I say that? I don't think I said that. There are studies, but the studies aren't finished.
No, as each generation grows and matures, the ways in which they differ from previous generations becomes more evident. We have observations, but they are not complete, nor are they perfect.

And what? We ignore what we observe on human behavior because the studies aren't concluded? What traditionally happens when sociologists conclude studies on particular types of social interactions? They soon realize new variables have been introduced/removed and game has slightly shifted. So I think it make sense to go with what we know and assess from there.

Godak wrote...I believe that's called "bullsh!tting".

You go with what you know, and if you encounter something you don't know, learn about it.

That's what "going on from there" means.

Godak wrote...Again, cynic.

Behind rose colored glasses? Perhaps, but I've yet to see anything to suggest otherwise.

Godak wrote...No, not selfless, but not downright terrible, either. Rejection sucks, but that's no reason to partake in what is (essentially) self-destructive, or alienating behavior (depending on who you blame).

Like I said, not everyone is resilient, and fall victim to their own inadequacies. That usually leads them to be reclusive or find a party to blame for their foibles.

Godak wrote...Agreed. The only thing this doesn't cover is when someone wants to change an existing relationship (IE, friend to girlfried).

First off, changing a relationship is volatile, and anything that happens is usually at the fault of the person who wants to change it. That being said, the concept is the same. If you're friends with someone and want to have sex with them or become romantically involved with them, you need to find a way to communicate that.