143 réponses à ce sujet

[android654]

Sashimi_taco wrote...

android654 wrote...


Hi! I'm android, and you and I are now pals!

ME GUSTA

I'm glad I made you smile, and didn't have to be a ****ty hanar to do it.

[mnomaha]

Thane, definately, glorious green ass.
Garrus and his adorkable vocab.
Kal-Reegar, cuz he wears his suit very well.

Ashely got one MaleShep, all the rest are single. Tali's too little sisterish and not interested in much else.

[AdmiralCheez]

aimlessgun wrote...

For the people listing nonhumans, do you consider them sexy as in aesthetically pleasing videogame characters, or sexy, as in like actually sexy, like you'd actually want to get in bed with them if you saw them in real life?

In the case of Lorik Qui'in?  Oh yes.  Yes I would.

I really think that 99% of people, given the choice to sleep with one of these aliens in real life, would back out.

Clearly, you underestimate my perversion.

[aimlessgun]

AdmiralCheez wrote...

aimlessgun wrote...
I really think that 99% of people, given the choice to sleep with one of these aliens in real life, would back out.

Clearly, you underestimate my perversion.

Maybe you're part of that 1%   And probably a good bit more of that 1% play Mass Effect than the rest of the general public.

Modifié par aimlessgun, 31 mars 2011 - 07:01 .

[PirateT138]

Miranda, for obvious reasons.

[AdmiralCheez]

aimlessgun wrote...

Maybe you're part of that 1%   And probably a good bit more of that 1% play Mass Effect than the rest of the general public.

Friend: So I just played this game...

Me: Uh-huh.

Friend: ... and it was pretty f*ckin' sweet...

Me: Uh-huh.

Friend: ... characters were amazing, and you'll love the universe it's set in!  ...very awesome.  Combat's not too bad...  Oh, and during the game you get to make decisions about...

Me: Uh-huh.

Friend: ...and I had sex with an alien.

Me: *suddenly grabs friend by the shirt collar* WHAT IS THIS GAME AND WHERE DO I BUY IT?!

Friend: o__o; Mass Effect 2?  Gamestop?

Me: *kisses friend on the cheek* You have done me a glorious favor. *rushes off to Gamestop*

Friend: The f*ck?

[aimlessgun]

                                               

[Influ]

aimlessgun wrote...

For the people listing nonhumans, do you consider them sexy as in aesthetically pleasing videogame characters, or sexy, as in like actually sexy, like you'd actually want to get in bed with them if you saw them in real life?

I really think that 99% of people, given the choice to sleep with one of these aliens in real life, would back out.

Maybe your right, but that would make me one of those 1%. I would most certainly not back out from making out with someone like Tali. Not all because of DEM HIPZ, but the sweet personality. Personality is what makes matriarch Aethyta also very doable or Liara even. Then again, I'm quite a perverted person anyway.

[CroGamer002]

AdmiralCheez wrote...

aimlessgun wrote...

Maybe you're part of that 1%   And probably a good bit more of that 1% play Mass Effect than the rest of the general public.

Friend: So I just played this game...

Me: Uh-huh.

Friend: ... and it was pretty f*ckin' sweet...

Me: Uh-huh.

Friend: ... characters were amazing, and you'll love the universe it's set in!  ...very awesome.  Combat's not too bad...  Oh, and during the game you get to make decisions about...

Me: Uh-huh.

Friend: ...and I had sex with an alien.

Me: *suddenly grabs friend by the shirt collar* WHAT IS THIS GAME AND WHERE DO I BUY IT?!

Friend: o__o; Mass Effect 2?  Gamestop?

Me: *kisses friend on the cheek* You have done me a glorious favor. *rushes off to Gamestop*

Friend: The f*ck?

Your friend is an ahole for sending you to Gamespot.

[aimlessgun]

Influ wrote...

aimlessgun wrote...

For the people listing nonhumans, do you consider them sexy as in aesthetically pleasing videogame characters, or sexy, as in like actually sexy, like you'd actually want to get in bed with them if you saw them in real life?

I really think that 99% of people, given the choice to sleep with one of these aliens in real life, would back out.

Maybe your right, but that would make me one of those 1%. I would most certainly not back out from making out with someone like Tali. Not all because of DEM HIPZ, but the sweet personality. Personality is what makes matriarch Aethyta also very doable or Liara even. Then again, I'm quite a perverted person anyway.

I do wonder...does that make me kind of a bad person that I would under no circumstances have a romantic relationship with an alien even if I adored their personality? Is that near the same level as rejecting an entire human race out of hand?

[Big stupid jellyfish]

aimlessgun wrote...

I really think that 99% of people, given the choice to sleep with one of these aliens in real life, would back out.

Maybe. But we have to keep in mind that many sexual fantasies should better stay, well, fantasies; there's nothing wrong with you if thoughts about X make you excited but seeing/taking part in it irl is neither sexy nor arousing. Same applies to sex with aliens in videogames, I suppose.

Idk, sex is strange. Think of all the possible fetishes and kinks, sex toys and things people are willing to stuff into themselves. I fail to see how these are less alien and more natural than having sex with aliens. xD

I wanted to add more about sex with turians but I'd rather stop here, I guess. =)

[AdmiralCheez]

aimlessgun wrote...

I do wonder...does that make me kind of a bad person that I would under no circumstances have a romantic relationship with an alien even if I adored their personality? Is that near the same level as rejecting an entire human race out of hand?

Replace "alien" with "person of same sex."  You're not a bad person; you just don't swing that way.  We can't exactly control what turns us on or off, and what feels right or wrong is largely determined by parts of ourselves not under conscious control.

Me?  I'm fascinated by the strange and exotic. I'm attracted first by strength of trust and friendship, not outright sexual desire, and I honestly don't perceive much difference between genders.  Can't really say why, other than I've always been that way.  I'm sure, with your tastes, it's the same with you.

[Bugsie]

Admiralcheez, your male list is heavy with turians. I approve!

Some older ladies need the love here though, Dr Chakwas and Matriarch Aethyta, oh yes. And there ain't nothing wrong with dem hips, Tali

[Tasha vas Nar Rayya]

Tali has a sexy body sure. She has it for the ladies.
I think Thane is very sexy. Drellickers abound! And also *points at her sig* 'a glorious green ass for ME3!!*

But Garrus has DAT VOICE!!!! And also, turians are sexy. Call me a xenophile, but I'm with Admiral CHeez on this one. It just depends on how open minded you are. I also think Nihlus is very sexy. Sexy name too...

[Influ]

aimlessgun wrote...

I do wonder...does that make me kind of a bad person that I would under no circumstances have a romantic relationship with an alien even if I adored their personality? Is that near the same level as rejecting an entire human race out of hand?

I don't think anyone is really in control of what they find sexually attractive. There's no reason to feel bad about something that we can't control.

[Ieldra]

aimlessgun wrote...
I do wonder...does that make me kind of a bad person that I would under no circumstances have a romantic relationship with an alien even if I adored their personality? Is that near the same level as rejecting an entire human race out of hand?

Of course not. Everyone knows that real aliens wouldn't possibly look attractive to humans in the first place. As for ME's aliens, I would like the asari quite a lot more if you could *not* have sex with them, and all others are unattractive anyway.

Which is why my list of the sexiest characters in the known ME universe, by that undefinable mix of appearance, personality and ability, consists of:

(1) Miranda Lawson
(2) Kate Bowman
(3) Gianna Parasini
(4) Ashley Williams
 
Can't say anything about the men since my sexiness-metre doesn't react to men.

[Dean_the_Young]

Awhile ago, I wrote up a piece about how I really didn't see the alure in the sexiest aliens there are supposed to be. Thought it might be worth sharing.


WARNING: The Following Piece Has Adult Themes.

If you are so young that this offends you, why are you playing these games, which are far more blatant?

/WARNING





(Renegade MShep, Garrus, and Jacob are at the bar on Illium, drinking it up. Matriarch A-what's her name (we'll call her A) is listening in.)

Shepard: Guys, I want you guys to know that you are great. Sensible. Solid. Swell guys. But something doesn't make sense to me.
Garrus: Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, but you seem to be a bit drunk, Commander.
Jacob: (snorts) A bit? Just how drunk does a guy have to be to use the word 'swell'?
Shepard: I am Commander Shepard, and I'll say whatever the hell I want in this store on the Citadel!
Matriarch A: It's Illium.
Shepard: Illium, Citadel, whatever. Lots of Asari either way. Which brings me back to my point!
Jacob: There was a point?
Shepard: 'Course there was! And that point is: you guys are great and all, but what would an Asari ever see in you? Guys?
Garrus: Well, I realize we can't all have the ladies chasing us, Shepard, but your words wound me. Really.
Shepard: Laugh it up, Garrus. I don't mean you guys, individualy, but I just mean... (waves hand vaguely) you know, guys.
Jacob: Not sure I see where you're coming from, Shepard. I thought you liked T'Soni. It's like a sci-fi vid from pre-contact: Captain flies around the galaxy, saves the universe, gets the alien space babe...
Shepard: Oh,Liara's nice and all, but I'd never sleep with her. It creeps me out just to think of it: Asari creep me out.
Matriarch A: Not quite the thing you want to go about admitting on an Asari colony would, but I'll admit I'm curious, human. What about us scares you?
Shepard: You like being speared by foreign things. Repeatedly. And it makes no sense.
Garrus: Shepard...?
Shepard: It's like this. Asari are supposed to be space babes, right? Taylor?
Jacob: I guess so, sure. Look the part, at least.
Shepard: Exactly. They look it. But they aren't it.
Matriarch A: (Raising an eyebrow.) I assure you, regardless of what the scientists claim, I'm pretty much female as far as your kind is concerned.
Shepard: Except you aren't! You aren't- aren't- compatible! That's the word. You aliens aren't evolutionarily compatible.
Garrus: I remember Liara trying to make some moves on you before, Shepard. Kind of disproves the point, no?
Shepard: No, you ain't getting it, see? Humans evolved with eachother, for each other. When we ****, it's good because it evolved to be good. Biology, right? A woman's 'lips' are perfect because they evolved to be perfect, or else sex wouldn't be fun and where would be the point in reproducing then, huh? Or even if you're just a horny get with another guy: even then, evolutionary sex relief. We have a reason to have it.
Matriarch A: Personal experience, I take it?
Shepard: I was young, drunk, and it was the birthday present for a totally hotter girl.
Jacob: I don't think I need to hear about this part, Commander. Why don't you push on?
Shepard: Push. Right. See, who'd want to push their Johnson into an Asari? Hell, why would an Asari want someone's Johnson in them?
Garrus: Because there's a hole...?
Shepard: You know what else is a hole? Legion's chest. You don't see anyone going around meat jousting that, do you? (pause) Actually, if you do, don't tell me.
Jacob: Gladly. Now get that image out of my head.
Shepard: Gladly gladly. Anyway: human women evolved to expect it. It's part of breeding: Johnson goes in, nine monthes later Johnson Junior comes out. Biology. But Asari aren't like that. They're a- a- whatever that A word is. They're like flowers: they polinate themselves.
Garrus: And this is a problem because...?
Shepard: Because the parts don't add up! The pipes are incorrect! The plumbing doesn't match! Socket A does not match socket C! I sleep with Ashley, god bless her soul, and it's good because the parts are evolved to be good and maybe a little kid Shepard will spawn. I let Liara have her way with me, and I'm just masturbating into the ****** track on a species that does not have a vagina. Do you get that?
Garrus: What? Translator broke on that one.
Shepard: Does not have a vagina.
Garrus: ...is this a human thing? Because I'm not following.
Matriarch A: Sex organ. That no Asari will have, because Asari did not evolve to involve sexual penetration in the process to have sex: our kicks come more from the embrace eternity bit, with a bit of petting the mammories-
Jacob: Breasts, she means.
Matriarch A: -and face-sucking. To an Asari's body, the whole at the bottom are just where ****** and **** and little blue babies come out of. Nothing was ever meant to go in.
Shepard: Exactly. I mean, a hole's a hole to a guy, but what does an Asari get out of it? Better question: who was the bright girl who was like 'let's totally shove that thing up my pisser, because it's not like my **** stinks or anything.' No offense.
Matriarch A: None taken. Asari here on Illium would sell their waste if they thought aliens would wear it. Which, I should note, some people probably would.
Garrus: Now wait a second, though: Asari have been having inter-species relationships for thousands of years. There's even a whole cultural stigma about having a relationship with
Matriarch A: Yeah, but ever notice how many of those relationships were with females, or species that don't do the whole penetration-deal? Yeah, we got our cultural baggage to consider, but we still have our inherent preferences. A lot of Asari go blue-buttoned because they don't want to do the deed with an Asari, but don't find most aliens attractive either.
Jacob: I bet when Humans showed up in the galaxy, a lot of those sort got happy, didn't they?
Matriarch A: You're telling me. Humans... that was the quickest alien fetish I'd ever seen, and I've seen a lot of aliens be discovered. Put on a wig, slap on some skin paint... guilt free Asari sex fantasies. I remember two months after Relay 314, some human economic mission came here, and some tart or another took one of the humans, nice looking thing by Asari standards, but she took it aside and showed off across half of Illium like nothing else, just flaunting it.
Shepard: Sounds typical Asari style to me.
Matriarch A: We Asari do know how to gloat, don't we? Of course, she didn't realize the human was male until the pants came off, and what a surprise that was, let me tell you. Did you know that some people call you humans the unholy mix of Asari and Hanar?
Jacob: Wow. Just... wow. Never thought about it like that before.
Shepard: I have. Hence why I've sworn off Asari, and am quite happy with the Human race as is.
Garrus: Wait a second- just wait a second. Back up a bit! You! (Pointing at Matriarch A.) Asari have been having inter-species relationships for thousands of years. Not just with females, but males as well. I've had friends in the military who had relationships with Asari, and I'm not just talking about a visit to the Consort. They never had any complaints about the bedroom reception when they had fun, and Turian males are similar to Human males in at least one respect!
Matriarch A: (Shaking head.) Kids these days. So naive. (Sighs.) Look, kid, it's like your friend said. Asari? We just don't have the parts. We get our kicks off the link itself, plus some heavy petting. But a good Asari... she knows the differences. We all but teach it in school. She knows what pleases her isn't the same as what pleases her partner, and any good lover is going to go out of her way to make it a more pleasant experience for the partner. Even if that means stroking their ego a bit.
Garrus: Then, what they said-
Matriarch: Ha! Kid, let me put it to you straight: if she said she enjoyed it, she was faking it. If she was screaming your name before the melding, she was faking it. If she claims that the physical part with you is the best part, she's faking it.
Shepard: Unless she's a deviant and really does enjoy getting penetrated in weird places. Like the pisser. Or the ear. Same difference, really.
Matriarch A: True. Or that.
Garrus: Shepard, I want to thank and hate you for ruining Asari forever for me.
Jacob: Same here. Can't say I had my eye on anyone in particular, but I think I'll play it conservative from here on out, at least until I forget this night.
Shepard: Any time, guys.

[Ieldra]

Perfect, Dean. That should be required reading for every ME1/2 player.


I should add that it, with a slightly modified reasoning, would also apply to human women.

Modifié par Ieldra2, 31 mars 2011 - 11:49 .

[DrBobcat]

I find Turians incredibly attractive, though some Krogans tickle my fancy.

MALES
1: Garrus Vakarian (Completely self explanatory. I can't think of one bad thing to say about him)
2: Preitor Gavorn (While he can't quite measure up to Garrus, he has a great laugh and a lighthearted personality)
3: Nihlus Kryik (Broke my Turian cherry. It didn't take long, apparently)
4: Lorik Qui'in (I love a man who is suave, worldly, and able to articulate his thoughts well)
5: Groundskeeper Wilihierax (His white facepaint is beautiful and who doesn't like "funny bumps" line?)
6: Grunt (Yes, I realize he's very young. Even so, I find his mirth and awkwardness adorable)

FEMALES
1: Samara (Admittedly, my taste in females is strict. However, Samara embodies many of the traits I find attractive)
2: Tali (Her naive sensibilities are kept in check by her passion and perseverance. Slowly, I'm starting to consider her more as a sister figure and less a lover)
3: Jack (I sympathize for her and do what I can to help, but she does leave me feeling uneasy at times. That's not necessarily a bad thing, of course)
4: Liara (Unlike most, I found her change in behavior from ME1 to ME2 to be refreshing. She's self-confident and determined to finish what she's started. I do worry that she might become drunk with power, and perhaps become more like her mother.)
5: Gianna Parasini (Yet another female character that knows how to work it. Her career choices intrigue me and I am curious as to what role she'll play in the future)

As you can tell, I'm not like most men. Physical characteristics aren't too important to me. I apologize if that makes me a party pooper.

EDIT: Upon further investigation (thanks, Youtube), I have decided to add Lorik Qui'in to my list of favorite males. It's been a while since I played ME1, so I needed to do some research.

Modifié par DrBobcat, 31 mars 2011 - 01:31 .

[android654]

aimlessgun wrote...
I do wonder...does that make me kind of a bad person that I would under no circumstances have a romantic relationship with an alien even if I adored their personality? Is that near the same level as rejecting an entire human race out of hand?

Perhaps you're just a bit tame, nothing wrong with that.

DrBobcat wrote...
As you can tell, I'm not like most men. Physical characteristics aren't too important to me. I apologize if that makes me a party pooper.

Not cool, all posts here have to be dirty or at least slightly so. For example...

Do you think azure has tentacles of it's own? I hope it has suction cups!

[Dean_the_Young]

Ieldra2 wrote...

Perfect, Dean. That should be required reading for every ME1/2 player.


I should add that it, with a slightly modified reasoning, would also apply to human women.

We actually expanded that conversation in the thread a little further on. Page 34'ish of the Party Banter thread.

I think the analogy was 'Every human woman expects the Asari Equivalent of 'Two Maidens, One Cup'.

Liara: Shepard, you want me to put my tongue where? You realize I'm going to kiss you with this mouth afterwards, right?


Dirty, dirty female expectations.

Modifié par Dean_the_Young, 31 mars 2011 - 03:49 .

[hawat333]

Wrex.

At least nobody dares to tell him otherwise.

[jamesp81]

Quole wrote...

aimlessgun wrote...

No way to prove it since none of them actually exist ^ ^ But that's my hunch, you get face to face with a living breathing alien and sex won't be on your mind.

Again, false.

Every since man looked to the stars and wondered if he was alone, his goal was to make it with a hot alien chick.  Now, my good man, I ask you: what higher calling could there be?

[Estelindis]

Dean, that was hilarious. I'd never really thought about that from the asari point of view before. Thank you for putting a huge grin on my face.