143 réponses à ce sujet

[AdmiralCheez]

I love it how everyone gets all upset when Dean points the asari thing out. Personally, I don't have a problem with it--love is weird, and so is sex. Just because the asari don't mate the way we do doesn't mean you can't have a loving relationship with one. From what I hear, brainsex is universally pleasurable. And if not, hey, I think allowing a mind meld is fair trade for touching my bits.

Loving the responses so far, you guys.  This thread has been, so far, surprisingly tasteful and good-humored.

Modifié par AdmiralCheez, 31 mars 2011 - 10:21 .

[JRCHOharry]

Gianna Parasini obviously. Sexiest undercover cop ever! Although I do get scared when she bulges her eyes outwards.

Oh and Ash is too.

[Dean_the_Young]

AdmiralCheez wrote...

I love it how everyone gets all upset when Dean points the asari thing out. Personally, I don't have a problem with it--love is weird, and so is sex. Just because the asari don't mate the way we do doesn't mean you can't have a loving relationship with one. From what I hear, brainsex is universally pleasurable. And if not, hey, I think allowing a mind meld is fair trade for touching my bits.

Loving the responses so far, you guys.  This thread has been, so far, surprisingly tasteful and good-humored.

Let it never be implied that I don't think Asari are capable of healty, happy, and pleasurable relationships with aliens.

I just think 'fair trade' is a bit closer to the truth than some people would like to admit.

[Noir_Skye]

V-rex wrote...


As for males, well:

1. Garrus Vakarian.
Every creature, regardless of age, gender, race, religion or sexual orientation... wants to f*ck Garrus.

Enough said.

(2)Thane.  (3)Nihlus.  (4)Kaidan.  (5)Jacob's abs.


Females:

(1) Shiala.  (2)Kasumi.  (3)Gianna.  (4)Miranda.  (5)Samara.

Modifié par Noir_Skye, 31 mars 2011 - 11:54 .

[KiloSierra149]

AdmiralCheez wrote...

I love it how everyone gets all upset when Dean points the asari thing out. Personally, I don't have a problem with it--love is weird, and so is sex. Just because the asari don't mate the way we do doesn't mean you can't have a loving relationship with one. From what I hear, brainsex is universally pleasurable. And if not, hey, I think allowing a mind meld is fair trade for touching my bits.

Loving the responses so far, you guys.  This thread has been, so far, surprisingly tasteful and good-humored.

The brain is a person's biggest erogenous zone. So, the Asari might be on to something.

[Destroy Raiden_]

Dean_the_Young wrote...

Garrus: Shepard, I want to thank and hate you for ruining Asari forever for me.
Jacob: Same here. Can't say I had my eye on anyone in particular, but I think I'll play it conservative from here on out, at least until I forget this night.
Shepard: Any time, guys.

Yes drunk shepard explaining how the world works. This is a funny and simi crude tale too bad BW won't put this into ME3 but it does have a point to it just what do Asari get out of mating with aliens also doesn't the age difference bother them? They're like dating their great grand kid whenever they pick non Krogan or Asari?

Things to pounder BW.

EDIT more on topic sexist Tali and no its not because of the suit really its for who she is on the inside! For guys....um......nope keep trying BW I like Garrus and Thane but neither of them I can count as sexy.

Also BW where is the spam from fornax trying to book shep? It would be hilarious!

Modifié par Destroy Raiden , 01 avril 2011 - 05:05 .

[Mr Plow]

Miranda and Samara as far as 'sexy' goes

Kelly and Tali are both sweet

Jack arguably has the most beautiful face

[GodWood]

In no particular order..
Jack
Morinth
Daro'Xen
Ash

[jamesp81]

AdmiralCheez wrote...

I love it how everyone gets all upset when Dean points the asari thing out. Personally, I don't have a problem with it--love is weird, and so is sex. Just because the asari don't mate the way we do doesn't mean you can't have a loving relationship with one. From what I hear, brainsex is universally pleasurable. And if not, hey, I think allowing a mind meld is fair trade for touching my bits.

Loving the responses so far, you guys.  This thread has been, so far, surprisingly tasteful and good-humored.

What Dean points out about the Asari thing is pure conjecture that makes sense from a scientific standpoint but is not supported by the game itself.  I feel compelled to point out that the devs obviously intended for there to be some fairly significant suspension of disbelief on this subject.

The examples are numerous.  If Asari weren't physical beings, I doubt they'd be spending their younger years as strippers.

Modifié par jamesp81, 01 avril 2011 - 03:43 .

[jamesp81]

Destroy Raiden wrote...

Dean_the_Young wrote...

Garrus: Shepard, I want to thank and hate you for ruining Asari forever for me.
Jacob: Same here. Can't say I had my eye on anyone in particular, but I think I'll play it conservative from here on out, at least until I forget this night.
Shepard: Any time, guys.

Yes drunk shepard explaining how the world works. This is a funny and simi crude tale too bad BW won't put this into ME3 but it does have a point to it just what do Asari get out of mating with aliens also doesn't the age difference bother them? They're like dating their great grand kid whenever they pick non Krogan or Asari?

Things to pounder BW.

EDIT more on topic sexist Tali and no its not because of the suit really its for who she is on the inside! For guys....um......nope keep trying BW I like Garrus and Thane but neither of them I can count as sexy.

Also BW where is the spam from fornax trying to book shep? It would be hilarious!

Tali's romance is definitely about who she is as a person.  Of course some people just like geek-girls anyway and she pretty much fills that archetype.

[Destroy Raiden_]

No I don't consider her geek girl either she's very nice weather she was a pilot or working in engineering would make no difference.

[Dean_the_Young]

Ieldra2 wrote...

Perfect, Dean. That should be required reading for every ME1/2 player.


I should add that it, with a slightly modified reasoning, would also apply to human women.

At the ME Kink Meme, someone wrote a little piece based after this, taking place right after Ashley gave Liara 'The Talk' to warn/scare her away from Shepard. Only, as Wrex points out, she didn't apply it to human women at all, with the implication that she's trying to point Liara away from Human Men, as opposed to human women...

http://masseffectkin...661258#t1661258

[ADLegend21]

my list:

Females:
1a.) Miranda
1b.) Ashley
2.) Samara
3.)Jack
4.) Kelly
5.)Emily Wong
6.) Khalish Al-jilani
7.) Jentha
8.) LotSB Liara (I love women with power)
9.)Gianna Parasini
10.)Asari Councilor
0a) Kasumi
0b) Femshep!
Males:
1.) Jacob (seriously, old spice guy's got nothing on him)
2.) Kaidan (the normandy Sr-1 gets a little hotter at his station lol)
3.) Adam Shepard (that handsome devil xD)

[Bolboreta]

Males:
- Garrus

Females:
- Kelly

[SierraGHOSTN7]

Well, I had a dilemma between Ash and Miranda... X.X
But, Ashley won. >D
First I wanted to cheat on Ash in ME2, but then I stayed loyal at the end. So, not even flirting or anything! >3

1. Ash
2. Miranda
3. Dunno, Aria?
4. Garrus

[Gust4v]

Tali. She has a hourglass figure and long legs.

[Shadow5287]

Dean_the_Young wrote...

Awhile ago, I wrote up a piece about how I really didn't see the alure in the sexiest aliens there are supposed to be. Thought it might be worth sharing.


WARNING: The Following Piece Has Adult Themes.

If you are so young that this offends you, why are you playing these games, which are far more blatant?

/WARNING





(Renegade MShep, Garrus, and Jacob are at the bar on Illium, drinking it up. Matriarch A-what's her name (we'll call her A) is listening in.)

Shepard: Guys, I want you guys to know that you are great. Sensible. Solid. Swell guys. But something doesn't make sense to me.
Garrus: Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, but you seem to be a bit drunk, Commander.
Jacob: (snorts) A bit? Just how drunk does a guy have to be to use the word 'swell'?
Shepard: I am Commander Shepard, and I'll say whatever the hell I want in this store on the Citadel!
Matriarch A: It's Illium.
Shepard: Illium, Citadel, whatever. Lots of Asari either way. Which brings me back to my point!
Jacob: There was a point?
Shepard: 'Course there was! And that point is: you guys are great and all, but what would an Asari ever see in you? Guys?
Garrus: Well, I realize we can't all have the ladies chasing us, Shepard, but your words wound me. Really.
Shepard: Laugh it up, Garrus. I don't mean you guys, individualy, but I just mean... (waves hand vaguely) you know, guys.
Jacob: Not sure I see where you're coming from, Shepard. I thought you liked T'Soni. It's like a sci-fi vid from pre-contact: Captain flies around the galaxy, saves the universe, gets the alien space babe...
Shepard: Oh,Liara's nice and all, but I'd never sleep with her. It creeps me out just to think of it: Asari creep me out.
Matriarch A: Not quite the thing you want to go about admitting on an Asari colony would, but I'll admit I'm curious, human. What about us scares you?
Shepard: You like being speared by foreign things. Repeatedly. And it makes no sense.
Garrus: Shepard...?
Shepard: It's like this. Asari are supposed to be space babes, right? Taylor?
Jacob: I guess so, sure. Look the part, at least.
Shepard: Exactly. They look it. But they aren't it.
Matriarch A: (Raising an eyebrow.) I assure you, regardless of what the scientists claim, I'm pretty much female as far as your kind is concerned.
Shepard: Except you aren't! You aren't- aren't- compatible! That's the word. You aliens aren't evolutionarily compatible.
Garrus: I remember Liara trying to make some moves on you before, Shepard. Kind of disproves the point, no?
Shepard: No, you ain't getting it, see? Humans evolved with eachother, for each other. When we ****, it's good because it evolved to be good. Biology, right? A woman's 'lips' are perfect because they evolved to be perfect, or else sex wouldn't be fun and where would be the point in reproducing then, huh? Or even if you're just a horny get with another guy: even then, evolutionary sex relief. We have a reason to have it.
Matriarch A: Personal experience, I take it?
Shepard: I was young, drunk, and it was the birthday present for a totally hotter girl.
Jacob: I don't think I need to hear about this part, Commander. Why don't you push on?
Shepard: Push. Right. See, who'd want to push their Johnson into an Asari? Hell, why would an Asari want someone's Johnson in them?
Garrus: Because there's a hole...?
Shepard: You know what else is a hole? Legion's chest. You don't see anyone going around meat jousting that, do you? (pause) Actually, if you do, don't tell me.
Jacob: Gladly. Now get that image out of my head.
Shepard: Gladly gladly. Anyway: human women evolved to expect it. It's part of breeding: Johnson goes in, nine monthes later Johnson Junior comes out. Biology. But Asari aren't like that. They're a- a- whatever that A word is. They're like flowers: they polinate themselves.
Garrus: And this is a problem because...?
Shepard: Because the parts don't add up! The pipes are incorrect! The plumbing doesn't match! Socket A does not match socket C! I sleep with Ashley, god bless her soul, and it's good because the parts are evolved to be good and maybe a little kid Shepard will spawn. I let Liara have her way with me, and I'm just masturbating into the ****** track on a species that does not have a vagina. Do you get that?
Garrus: What? Translator broke on that one.
Shepard: Does not have a vagina.
Garrus: ...is this a human thing? Because I'm not following.
Matriarch A: Sex organ. That no Asari will have, because Asari did not evolve to involve sexual penetration in the process to have sex: our kicks come more from the embrace eternity bit, with a bit of petting the mammories-
Jacob: Breasts, she means.
Matriarch A: -and face-sucking. To an Asari's body, the whole at the bottom are just where ****** and **** and little blue babies come out of. Nothing was ever meant to go in.
Shepard: Exactly. I mean, a hole's a hole to a guy, but what does an Asari get out of it? Better question: who was the bright girl who was like 'let's totally shove that thing up my pisser, because it's not like my **** stinks or anything.' No offense.
Matriarch A: None taken. Asari here on Illium would sell their waste if they thought aliens would wear it. Which, I should note, some people probably would.
Garrus: Now wait a second, though: Asari have been having inter-species relationships for thousands of years. There's even a whole cultural stigma about having a relationship with
Matriarch A: Yeah, but ever notice how many of those relationships were with females, or species that don't do the whole penetration-deal? Yeah, we got our cultural baggage to consider, but we still have our inherent preferences. A lot of Asari go blue-buttoned because they don't want to do the deed with an Asari, but don't find most aliens attractive either.
Jacob: I bet when Humans showed up in the galaxy, a lot of those sort got happy, didn't they?
Matriarch A: You're telling me. Humans... that was the quickest alien fetish I'd ever seen, and I've seen a lot of aliens be discovered. Put on a wig, slap on some skin paint... guilt free Asari sex fantasies. I remember two months after Relay 314, some human economic mission came here, and some tart or another took one of the humans, nice looking thing by Asari standards, but she took it aside and showed off across half of Illium like nothing else, just flaunting it.
Shepard: Sounds typical Asari style to me.
Matriarch A: We Asari do know how to gloat, don't we? Of course, she didn't realize the human was male until the pants came off, and what a surprise that was, let me tell you. Did you know that some people call you humans the unholy mix of Asari and Hanar?
Jacob: Wow. Just... wow. Never thought about it like that before.
Shepard: I have. Hence why I've sworn off Asari, and am quite happy with the Human race as is.
Garrus: Wait a second- just wait a second. Back up a bit! You! (Pointing at Matriarch A.) Asari have been having inter-species relationships for thousands of years. Not just with females, but males as well. I've had friends in the military who had relationships with Asari, and I'm not just talking about a visit to the Consort. They never had any complaints about the bedroom reception when they had fun, and Turian males are similar to Human males in at least one respect!
Matriarch A: (Shaking head.) Kids these days. So naive. (Sighs.) Look, kid, it's like your friend said. Asari? We just don't have the parts. We get our kicks off the link itself, plus some heavy petting. But a good Asari... she knows the differences. We all but teach it in school. She knows what pleases her isn't the same as what pleases her partner, and any good lover is going to go out of her way to make it a more pleasant experience for the partner. Even if that means stroking their ego a bit.
Garrus: Then, what they said-
Matriarch: Ha! Kid, let me put it to you straight: if she said she enjoyed it, she was faking it. If she was screaming your name before the melding, she was faking it. If she claims that the physical part with you is the best part, she's faking it.
Shepard: Unless she's a deviant and really does enjoy getting penetrated in weird places. Like the pisser. Or the ear. Same difference, really.
Matriarch A: True. Or that.
Garrus: Shepard, I want to thank and hate you for ruining Asari forever for me.
Jacob: Same here. Can't say I had my eye on anyone in particular, but I think I'll play it conservative from here on out, at least until I forget this night.
Shepard: Any time, guys.

im sorry i just love liara so much i cant agree

[AlexMBrennan]

I must have missed something... what content (in the games, comics or books) would lead one conclude that asari/non-asari relationships involve "regular" penetrative sex? There's nothing there - we see two naked, exhausted people (e.g. Retribution) in bed and fill in the blanks based on our limited imagination.

[Schattenkeil]

Dean_the_Young wrote...
How does the AY prove anything of the sort? The AY phenomenum is the basis for the cultural opposition to pure-bloods, but has nothing to do with how the Asari evolved. It's a mutation/disorder, and certainly not proof of gender-specirid sex organs developing in 50 generations in the nether regions.

If you're talking about how AY evolved before there was any alien contact... well, of course. There were no alternatives to breed with. It's only been two Asari life spans since the Asari met their first alien. The cultural stigma against pure breeds could only follow the period of time in which 'pure breed' had meaning.

A life span is not the same as a generation. A generation would be more like the typical age of a mother getting her first child, like 400 years or so in case of an asari. There is the risk of a genetical disorder in children of two asari that doesn't exist when the asari mates with aliens. It's not strictly relevant tha this disorder existed even before. It's like a couple of human cousins - it's not particularly likely that their children has genetic defects, but more likely than with an unrelated couple.

What you describe isn't physical pleasure, but empath pleasure. Which would, by it's nature, derive from the link, and not the Asari's own organs.

To differentiate: you support the additional presence of the Asari feeling what the partner is feeling: the Asari's pleasure is derived from the pleasure the partner feels. It doesn't even contradict my thrust, which was that sticking various stiff things up an Asari probably doesn't do much for her.

Pleasure is pleasure. It' not strictly relevant what made the asari moaning as far as I am concerned..

Well, I'd certainly question the presence of your facts, or the basis of the assuming them, but hey.

Fact is that purebloods may become Ardat Yakshi and "mixedblood"s may not.
Fact is that they have been adopting alien genome for the past few generations.
Fact is that they are extremely successful finding alien mates and, not by the individual but culturally, that is very strongly preferred.
Fact is that no one in game implied the kind of reservations you have in game.

Assumptions when it comes to fictional entities are a funny thing. There are no actual asari as reference who is right or wrong, so basically asari are what you want them to be. Now, if  you want to believe that having actual sex with an asari is a horribly pervert thing, that is a fair assumption as well, yet not a very helpful one for the purpose of the story. You must realize though that whatever you implied is a pure assumption, though. You don't have any facts that would support your theory, just a cynical "whoever makes love to an alien is a pervert" attitude.

For example it would be completely reasonable to argue this way: Asari may very well have the have the full palette of human female sex organs, including a clitoris and so forth, and react the same way a human woman would. You might as will reason that humans and asari are way too similar for their similarity to be coincidental, so they are rather a branch of humanity that split off several ten thousand years ago. Maybe the reapers took them and put them elsewhere to guide the evolution of the galaxy as a whole in a specific direction.

I assume their access to alien DNA (or similar information) made them adapt faster, they actually derive pleasure from their partner's pleasure, there are ways you can get together with that are not unpleasant for them, and that they react to touches and kisses for the most part of their body not unlike a human being. And yes I assume they actually like being embraced, kissed, feel the heartbeat and the skin of their lovers.

I plead guilty to putting it in unromantic terms, but then that's because I don't see it as particularly romantic to presume someone gets pleasure off the evolutionary equivalent of sticking something in a belly button or ear hole or a sucking chest wound. Generally the people who do get off on that sort of thing are a special brand of pervert.

What's wrong with licking a belly button? It's obviously most unpleasant to have something stuck in the ear, a primary, most sensitive sense organ,  or any sucking at a wound. The amount of mouths and tongues an asari has is the same as with a human being for example. To me it sounds like you want to call everyone pervert who ever did anything but missionary with lights off. Ashes over my head should I ever have kissed anyone, other than into the face.

Modifié par Schattenkeil, 02 avril 2011 - 11:26 .

[Tootles FTW]

Men - Garrus, Feron, Thane, Illusive Man, Kaidan.

Women - Aria, Samara, Miranda.

[Timon44]

Noir_Skye wrote...

V-rex wrote...


As for males, well:

1. Garrus Vakarian.
Every creature, regardless of age, gender, race, religion or sexual orientation... wants to f*ck Garrus.

Enough said.

(2)Thane.  (3)Nihlus.  (4)Kaidan.  (5)Jacob's abs.


Females:

(1) Shiala.  (2)Kasumi.  (3)Gianna.  (4)Miranda.  (5)Samara.

QFT (even though I cannot really comment on the males). Perfect order too.

Modifié par Timon44, 02 avril 2011 - 01:58 .

[Labrev]

Not a ranking, but my analysis as a guy.

Samara - she has her moments, but
sometimes she looks like a clown. I can't really dig her. And this is
coming from a big MILF guy. I guess Asari in general don't really do it
for me.

Miranda - no. Just, no. The only thing she has
going for her is her curves (even then she's too skinny, limbs of a
white-tail deer). But her personality is so ugly that it just doesn't
work for me. Not interesting in the least either. I'd romance the female
krogan on Tuchanka before I romance Miranda.

Gianna - love this girl! Not sure what it is exactly, but there's something sexy about her and she does it right.

Ashley - Ash is sexy. Her attitude is awesome and man, does she look fine in her battle armor. Rawr.

Liara -
I hate to reject her in ME1, but she's a baby. Of all the female
characters in the game, she might have the single best body for my
taste, but she really lacks the sexiness. I like how she gets a little
more aggressive in ME2, but she's still a child in my eyes. Can't do it.
Chin up, at least my femshep loves you.

Tali - Even
though the machine voice/Quarian accent don't jive with me, I do like
her overall, she'd probably be my LI if it weren't for Jack. Really,
they are too close as friends to stay just friends unless Shepard's
interests are elsewhere. Plus, she's an actual alien, unlike the Asari
that are essentially blue human females with tenticle heads. So the
alien-sex idea turns me on to this a bit too.

Jack -
Jack's my girl in this. Weird because her body is really not my type:
small, gangly. But she's otherwise sexy in so many ways: sexy face, sexy
tats, sexy voice. Even her myriad of mental issues get me off. Her
romance/love scene is SO CUTE. Even in combat our chemistry is
awesome (I play Sentinel). I'm committed, Jack FTW!

Kasumi -
Rawr. That Kasumi is a fox. Love her figure, and she has twice the
personality of most other characters. Face is a little fat, but
whatever. I wouldn't romance her, but she's awesome.

Shiala -
I don't get the fascination. Rather homely, IMO. I admit though, I did
get a little turned-on when she said "maybe when I'm not busy and you're
not doing, whatever you do..." but that's not gonna happen.

Femshep - it doesn't even matter how you make her, I can get off to her voice all day. Hell yeah for Jennifer Hale!