150 réponses à ce sujet

[Riv2.0]

 I was bullied a lot and the teachers were useless. They would say things like "stay out of their way" and "always tell a teacher" but whenever I did tell them, they would simply do nothing. They always said that the bullies were just as sad as me and that they needed to be listened to and all that crap. Troubled students, you know? All well and good but when there are people living in misery and some commiting suicide later in life, you have to wonder if the do nothing appraoch that a lot of teachers have is working.

My advice is to kick the crap out of the bullies for him. Having been bullied a lot growing up I lost it a little when my brother was bullied. I threw a guy down the stairs and they left him alone after that. I know you're supposed to believe that vioence isn't right and doesn't work but I'm afraid it really does work in some cases. But then, they might be a bit too young for you to use violence. I suggest being proactive about it, though. there's no excuse for bullying. I don't care how hard the bully claims his/her life is, they're making their victims' life unbearable.

[Girchou]

I was bullied in primary school and it was hell. I stopped working in all my classes and refused to go to school. but then I moved to southampton and went to one of the best school in the country. I moved back a year later and everything was fine.

[VampireCommando]

I got bullied like hell at the start of 7th grade, I used to go to the library at break times because I had no friends, only the bullies, then one day after school one of them punched me square in the face for no reason, I just flipped, I did a grunt lol. I went completely of the walls at him and kicked the sh!t outta him, after that the others never fu{ked with me again, they all started to respect me if anything and I life went onwards and upwards from there.
So the best advice I can give your brother is to kick the absolute sh!t outta them and they'll back right off.

[Fishy]

Volus Warlord wrote...

Rats. That incident was in 7th grade, and I was 5'11" and 180 lbs in 7th grade.

So you was a giant more bulky than  the average full grown adult at 12-13 years old and you fought back a kids that was probably a third of your size?Congratulation.

Also a lot of kids that are bullied.They're bullied because they're intimidated.Telling a kids to fight his  aggresor can be quite hard  on them psychologicaly.

Sadly most kids at 12-13 years old aren't(Geez i hope , you was a frigging monster!Are you 7 ft now?) 5'11 and 180 Pounds.At 12 years old i was 5 ft and below 100 LBS . I was bullied by a  kids who was much bigger  /stronger than me.The guy failed a couple of grade so all the other kids did nothing.Because eh .. They did not want to take my place.Quiet  and shy kids are the most often picked .

Sure i could have fought him .. But i was so small and if i failed it's would have made thing harder.
Public school sucks  and student  lack discipline.Seriously for this type of behavior it's should be tolerance ZERO

[Volus Warlord]

Capt. Obvious wrote...

There are people that do defend for themselves and they get suspended.

This may be hard for you to believe, but I was suspended several times in middle school. It really isn't too big a deal in the long run. Just don't make a habit of it.

[Volus Warlord]

Suprez30 wrote...



So you was a giant more bulky than  the average full grown adult at 12-13 years old and you fought back a kids that was probably a third of your size?Congratulation.

Also a lot of kids that are bullied.They're bullied because they're intimidated.Telling a kids to fight his  aggresor can be quite hard  on them psychologicaly.

Sadly most kids at 12-13 years old aren't(Geez i hope , you was a frigging monster!Are you 7 ft now?) 5'11 and 180 Pounds.At 12 years old i was 5 ft and below 100 LBS . I was bullied by a  kids who was much bigger  /stronger than me.The guy failed a couple of grade so all the other kids did nothing.Because eh .. They did not want to take my place.Quiet  and shy kids are the most often picked .

Sure i could have fought him .. But i was so small and if i failed it's would have made thing harder.
Public school sucks  and student  lack discipline.Seriously for this type of behavior it's should be tolerance ZERO

Hahahaha.. O-line biatch!

I had some issues because  I was a loner, a "loser," on the nerdy side, poor, and antisocial.  That compensated.

That and I got chewed out like hell if I ever got into trouble at school, regardless of the circumstances. I was more afraid of dealing with my parents than any bully. I had to do all kinds of **** for my punishments. My parents were naive idiots in this circumstance, and did not understand the concept that trouble sometimes comes to you.

Oh and I'm about 6'1" now, ~250 lbs. I just grew early.

[Godak]

I was bullied some in Jr. High. I confronted the main bully, and put an end to it. We preach non-aggressive action in favor of letting teachers deal with it, but...It just isn't happening.

@Suprez30: Yes, many bullies feel they CAN bully because they see that a target is weak/unsure of themselves/intimidated, etc. I was a new kid at my Jr. High, so I guess they just felt I was an easy target, but I can be quite aggressive if someone else is getting in my bubble, calling me names that I'd rather not be called.

I was also probably a little shorter than 5'...I'm 18, and I'm only 5' 7" or so (give or take a half-inch). That's another reason they probably thought of me as an easy target, but I digress.

The thing is, I WAS intimidated. I had never been bullied before. I knew that I did not like being bullied, though, and I took actions to end it.

[Mercuron]

While I think standing up for yourself is all well and fine, the whole "Defeat Means Friendship/Respect" idea, with regards to bullies, doesn't always work out that way - at least, not these days.

Case in point, I had a cousin who was getting bullied at his high school and one day, he fought back and pummelled this bully pretty badly. For two days afterwards, he had respect from the kids at his school ... then three days after his fight, the bully ran up on him with a shank and stabbed him in the stomach.

I think people need to be really careful in advocating for fighting back because these are kids we're talking about and kids aren't renown for sound judgements in situations like this, whether they're the bully or the victim. It's too easy to simplify it down to some fairy bro-tale situation where they have an almighty fistfight and the victim either becomes a hero or fast friends with the bully. These days, as often as not, one of them pulls a knife or a gun and the whole thing becomes the next tragedy we see on the news at 6. I doubt I could live with myself if I told my son or daughter to stand up for themselves if someone was bullying them and they wound up shanking someone or blasting their head off.

Doesn't matter if we're parents, brothers, sisters, friends - I think we have to come at bullying in a more responsible way than just telling them to kick a bully's ass. I guess I'm a little prejudiced on the matter though.

[AngryFrozenWater]

I had a great grade school. No doubt bullying happened, but when discovered action was taken. The head of the school often talked to pupils who got punished by teachers one way or another, or dropped out. He tried to get to the source of the problem. If you were wrong, you were wrong, but if bullying was the problem then he intervened until it was over. The man was trusted and you could visit him with whatever problem you had. He made time for you. Good memories there.

[DukeOfNukes]

pretty much everyone gets bullied at one point or another. I was picked on pretty terribly in the 5th and 6th grades...pretty much the worst 2 years of my life. No teachers ever really intervened...I ended up hitting one kid repeatedly and then ran away. Even after that, I was insulted. I got bullied once or twice in 7th and 8th...basically, a few times I tried to walk away from a fight, and all that resulted in was getting attacked from behind, and then getting an in school suspension for getting in a fight in which I threw no punches.

What the Dalai Lama and others have said is a great idea...but peaceful means aren't always the best solution. Sometimes violence is necissary, and evils must be committed for the greater good.

Oh, and for the record...I'm a tall, average weight, white, blonde hair, blue eyes, straight American male. I was picked on by people of a number of races and creeds...and more than likely, sexual orientations.

[Deathwurm]

DukeOfNukes wrote...
What the Dalai Lama and others have said is a great idea...but peaceful means aren't always the best solution. Sometimes violence is necissary, and evils must be committed for the greater good.

The current Dalai Lama is actually quite sensible when it comes to this subject. He does not wish to engage in Violence himself, but I've heard him speak a few times and he seems to be of the opinion that violence is sometimes necessary to fight Evil.
I'm 45...so School is getting to be a LONG time ago for me. I have to say that for all the current awareness and discussion of how bad Bullying is and how it can destroy a young person's psyche, so little has actually changed from when I was being bullied all those years ago. It really makes me sad.

Modifié par Deathwurm, 31 mars 2011 - 10:48 .

[Volus Warlord]

Capt. Obvious wrote...

Volus Warlord wrote...

Capt. Obvious wrote...

There are people that do defend for themselves and they get suspended.

This may be hard for you to believe, but I was suspended several times in middle school. It really isn't too big a deal in the long run. Just don't make a habit of it.

I've seen people get expelled. Either way, you're either out of school or you have to deal with your parents. Let's not forget the fact that not everybody grows up as strong as most people in middle or high school. Back in tenth grade, I noticed that a lot were still growing while others were already above 6 feet. Also, I was in a containment class, and it's hard to start a fight there because everyone's a bully in a containment class. They pair you up with anybody. If you mess with one, you mess with all of them. Bullies generally have friends to help them.

Well, give him a taser? You got me. If he is too much of a puss to deal with the bullies, than he'll just have to learn to tolerate them. In the meantime, you may get away with taking him to the range and taking pictures of him with guns and putting them up on Facebook or something. That can scare some for quite some time. Though he musn't be too cocky about it, else the teachers will think he's trying to pull a Columbine or some other nonsense.

[Kidd]

I was bullied too, but on contrary to most stories in here, my teacher butted in. Several ways. Didn't help one bit, though.

There was a rumour when I was little that I had given oral sex to one of the (also bullied) boys in school and my bullies sure used that rumour to call me things. My teacher told me they enjoy seeing me squirm, yell back or run away - any of those reactions are a victory in their book. So instead, I should react in a way they might not expect and she also gave me a few ideas. Next time they came up to me all "hey, ****, sucked any dick lately?" - one of several traditional openers for them - I acted on my teacher's advice, smiled and said "sure, and I hear I'm pretty good. You want one?". Let's just say that didn't turn out very well.

As things got worse, my teacher got the entire class together for a meeting. We'd sit on chairs in a ring, with my main bullies (several made smart comments now and then, but mainly there were 3 who kept the fire going) sitting in the middle. My teacher asked them why they did all these things to me and tried to guilt them out. I don't really remember much of what was said, but I remember nothing changed. If it did, it was for a week or so tops, but I don't remember any pause at all.

Never really fought back, I just lived through it and when I got out of grade school I was in a class with only one person whom I knew from before (and he was a nice guy), so from that point on life shone brighter. Sadly, I have no advice to give on how to end things since I never managed to end it, myself. Even if teachers listen and try, they're not gods or anything of the sort.

[Drake Sigar]

Capt. Obvious wrote...
There are people that do defend for themselves and they get suspended.

Man, there were so many comments on this from teachers and parents which stated “he should have just walked away.” Is that what they’d do if someone was repeatedly punching them in the face? I doubt it.

Modifié par Drake Sigar, 31 mars 2011 - 01:58 .

[Moondoggie]

Drake Sigar wrote...

Man, there were so many comments on this from teachers and parents which stated “he should have just walked away.” Is that what they’d do if someone was repeatedly punching them in the face? I doubt it.

Always the same with those types. Same with thieves who get caught and beat up. They don't mind breaking the rules but they want the rules to protect them when it benefits them and they'll be the first to go crying to people when things don't go their way.

[Volus Warlord]

KiddDaBeauty wrote...

There was a rumour when I was little that I had given oral sex to one of the (also bullied) boys in school and my bullies sure used that rumour to call me things. My teacher told me they enjoy seeing me squirm, yell back or run away - any of those reactions are a victory in their book. So instead, I should react in a way they might not expect and she also gave me a few ideas. Next time they came up to me all "hey, ****, sucked any dick lately?" - one of several traditional openers for them - I acted on my teacher's advice, smiled and said "sure, and I hear I'm pretty good. You want one?". Let's just say that didn't turn out very well.

/applause to you miss. /applause.

I know what rumors like the such are like, and they are impossible to stamp out. ("Denial! Denial"!) Just gotta ignore them until they run their course. However most of the rumors about me were generaly much more ridiculous-eating babies and such.

[vometia]

Moondoggie wrote...

Always the same with those types. Same with thieves who get caught and beat up. They don't mind breaking the rules but they want the rules to protect them when it benefits them and they'll be the first to go crying to people when things don't go their way.

What's really irritating is that they get away with it, too: where were those with the sympathetic ear when their victims asked for help?

[KenKenpachi]

Drake Sigar wrote...

Capt. Obvious wrote...
There are people that do defend for themselves and they get suspended.

Man, there were so many comments on this from teachers and parents which stated “he should have just walked away.” Is that what they’d do if someone was repeatedly punching them in the face? I doubt it.

Considering the crap I've seen some people just take up the ass, I wouldn't be surprised if they would.

But I think the main reason is most bullies I've seen fall into two groups.

Either they are from a family that causes trouble or are rich, and thus feel they can get away with anything, and for the most part they can, its just when someone pops them one, then the teachers worry. As this Family can cause trouble for them or the wealth might result in troubles.  So Socially.

Then on the other hand they lack discipline of any sort, and the parents do as well. Often I've seen when such a kid gets whats coming the parents will screach at the school for letting there baby get hurt, he/she is a good kid and wouldn't hurt anyone. Or is just misunderstood and the other kid is as much at fault! My friend Mat was one of those, he did horrible things yet to his parents it was never his fault, it was always someone else that egged him to do it, which is a lie.

So normally they'll say that crap just to cover there own backside, though i've had some teachers that wouldn't do that.. Some would say your kid got what was coming, and didn't take kindly to threats. I remember one teacher in praticular told some gang kid that got in trouble that threaten to shoot him later to "You you go do that, I got a gun in my glove box and rifles at home, and I bet your ass I'm the better shot, so just try it punk." Alot of the older male teachers were that way actully.

vometia wrote...

What's really irritating is that they get away with it, too: where were those with the sympathetic ear when their victims asked for help?

Heh tell me about it, anyone remember that girl that was gang raped in a school ball field in clear view last summer? Think it was in some subsection of LA or Berkly... Something like 300 people went by and didn't do ****. But when the rapers most of whom were hispanic were charged it turned into a race riot almost.

I think somewhere in a number of humans they like seeing those who may have more, or they have some just general slight for, love seeing them hurt, but won't admit it. You brought back the gladiator games, and you'll see THOUSANDS of comments on it being evil etc. But I'ld bet the shirt on my back, it would be the number one watched show in the world.

Modifié par KenKenpachi, 31 mars 2011 - 02:26 .

[Kidd]

Volus Warlord wrote...

/applause to you miss. /applause.

Was that sarcasm? Cause if it wasn't obvious from my post, that didn't end well ^^; Didn't give the reaction my teacher had hoped at all, quite the opposite if anything.

[Ponce de Leon]

Weeeell... I... was a bully. Technically.
But I am not really helpful, mainly due to the fact that I was in a small school (70 students). I myself never fought anyone, just had pleasure in crapping the hell out of people. It's a plus of my bigger stature. Why bullies do that? Well, I did what I did mainly because I was bored. I guess it's the same for everyone else. Add that to the general stupidity of youngsters and there you go.

Btw I am different now. Can't even believe what kind of a moron I was once.

[Volus Warlord]

KiddDaBeauty wrote...

Volus Warlord wrote...

/applause to you miss. /applause.

Was that sarcasm? Cause if it wasn't obvious from my post, that didn't end well ^^; Didn't give the reaction my teacher had hoped at all, quite the opposite if anything.

No, it was not sarcastic. You have to be pretty gutsy to say things along those lines. I respect that "gutsiness". Even if it didn't end well, you sure as hell threw them a curveball. Well done.

Personally, I find it to be hilarious when the bullies are caught in shock for a second. I'd say and do all kinds of nonsense to them to get them off balance-it makes them look like total ****s, and they know it. It's great;). Although sometimes it does backfire, as seen in your circumstance.

Modifié par Volus Warlord, 31 mars 2011 - 02:28 .

[Godak]

Volus Warlord wrote...

If he is too much of a puss to deal with the bullies, than he'll just have to learn to tolerate them.

If it's multiple bullies, or the school has really stringent policies regarding self-defense, etc (I know of schools that DID NOT ALLOW self-defense)...is it really worth it for him to "deal" with the bullies? Getting expelled from school certainly doesn't seem worth it.

[Volus Warlord]

dark-lauron wrote...

Weeeell... I... was a bully. Technically.
But I am not really helpful, mainly due to the fact that I was in a small school (70 students). I myself never fought anyone, just had pleasure in crapping the hell out of people. It's a plus of my bigger stature. Why bullies do that? Well, I did what I did mainly because I was bored. I guess it's the same for everyone else. Add that to the general stupidity of youngsters and there you go.

Btw I am different now. Can't even believe what kind of a moron I was once.

Congratulations on your confession.

In case anyone hasn't figured this out yet, I was a bit of a changeling-sometimes I was the bully, sometimes I was the bullied. Though I often bullied in response to bullying. Vicious cycle, I know. This was also due to my size. If somebody was mouthing off at me, trying to get loud and act tough, I'd often not say a word, walk up to the character and look down at him. I've no idea what I would have done if I couldn't do that.

[Godak]

Volus Warlord wrote...

I've no idea what I would have done if I couldn't do that.

You had some pretty wimpy bullies!