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[not so anon]

This is an open letter to David Gaider and the rest of the BioWare, about the writing decisions surrounding the romance options in DA 2 (and the series in general).

I wasn't sure if I wanted to write this for a long time. Partly this was because I was worried about the reaction this might generate (which is why I am posting under a different name -- I really am a registered owner of both DA:O and DA 2, but have reasons for not using my primary account to post this), and partly it was because I wasn't sure that I wanted to be part of the re-hashing of this topic. Even though it is important to me, it's not the only thing that is significant to me about the Dragon Age series, and a portion of me felt a desire to just let this controversy fizzle out. 

But then I read David Gaider's defense of the choices the writing staff made with the romance options in DA 2. I thought Gaider's post was eloquent and inspiring. But, that post also contained a bit of uncertainty about whether the decision to make the romance options for most of the characters available to both genders was correct / a good one. I know many players -- straight, gay, and everything in between -- have posted in support of the writing staff. I am writing this post as a way of doing so too, because the decision of the Bioware writers in DA:O (and continued and expanded in DA 2) had a serious effect on me. And I feel the need to express my sincere thanks because of that.

So, here goes. I'm a gay girl, though I've only been living openly for slightly more than the past year. The Dragon Age series is partly responsible for that. Maybe that sounds strange, but I'll try to explain.

I do have to say something, though, just to prevent this letter from being taken out of context. Dragon Age did not make me gay. Nor was it the only reason I finally widely came out. But it was a part of the process.

I don't know that I can put a finger on exactly how the game helped contribute to me living an open life, but I know that it did. Maybe it was just the frankness of the queer romance options in the first game. Or the way that the BioWare writers defended themselves back when controversy over those options in Origins first developed. I'm not completely sure. But whatever the reason was, shortly after completing the first game I made the decision to embrace my identity and be open about who I am. I credit DA:O for helping that happen. And so I was happy to see DA 2 continue in this vein, and not regress in the face of controversy or complaint.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is... please, BioWare, keep on doing what you have been doing. Keep making choices like you made in Dragon Age 2, and hopefully will make in Dragon Age 3. Make queer friendly games. Include romance options for all of your fans, and not just those in the majority. Because it's important. And it affects people in ways that go beyond the game itself. Ways you may not realize (well, until we put up an open letter to you on your forums, heh). A part of me wishes that it wasn't so important. That such features of a game were so commonplace that we wouldn't have controversy over it every time a new entry in this wonderful series is released. But it is, and we do, and as a result I felt the need to write this.

Since I've been out, my life has become exponentially better. It is freeing to be who I truly am. So, thank you David Gaider. Thank you Dragon Age writers. Thank you to the rest of the Dragon Age team. And thanks BioWare. I really appreciate it.

[Horus Blackheart]

not so anon: you have my respect for your post (for what that is worth)

[skunkdoctor]

Word./high five

I'm curious as to why you didn't want to post this on your registered account though, what gives?

[not so anon]

Thanks. I'm glad it was well received by at least somebody.

[not so anon]

skunkdoctor wrote...

Word./high five

I'm curious as to why you didn't want to post this on your registered account though, what gives?

It has to do with my display name and e-mail being easily linked to other things that I do in the wide world of the internet for which my sexuality is not relevant. In truth, I'm not sure that it would have any consequences, but I wanted to be safe.

[MelfinaofOutlawStar]

If there is one thing you can't fault Bioware for it's their willingness to encompass many different romance options. I don't know why people were offended by homosexual pairings. I was only offended that (Lady) Hawke had the personality of Bella Swan. Since when does "Sure I guess you can move in" becomes "We'll be together until we die!" I'm better off being single in the game. That is not romantic. That's desperate.XD

I applaud you for writing out your experience on the matter.

Modifié par MelfinaofOutlawStar, 04 avril 2011 - 06:20 .

[not so anon]

MelfinaofOutlawStar wrote...

If there is one thing you can't fault Bioware for it's their willingness to encompass many different romance options. I don't know why people were offended by homosexual pairings. I was only offended that (Lady) Hawke had the personality of Bella Swan. Since when does "Sure I guess you can move in" becomes "We'll be together until we die!" I'm better off being single in the game. That is not romantic. That's desperate.XD

I applaud you for writing out your experience on the matter.

Well you know if you can't go one week without encountering an insane mage who wants to kill you, maybe a little desperation is warranted. It seemed to work with Merrill.

[Firky]

Good post, OP. Good luck with it all.

Games have importance beyond the obvious. I had a rocky early 20s, and playing games helped immeasurably. (Not to do with sexuality in my case, more as escapism.) It's interesting to hear other people's experiences.

[skunkdoctor]

not so anon wrote...

skunkdoctor wrote...

Word./high five

I'm curious as to why you didn't want to post this on your registered account though, what gives?

It has to do with my display name and e-mail being easily linked to other things that I do in the wide world of the internet for which my sexuality is not relevant. In truth, I'm not sure that it would have any consequences, but I wanted to be safe.

Fair nuff. I didn't consider email/internet, just curious because of the whole openly gay in daily life yet anonymous posting thing. Anyways, rock on.

[DeathStride]

That's pretty awesome(FLBW) that a videogame like DA helped you with such an important part of your life, definitely going to mention this when people are bashing videogames for all the "bad things" they make people do. Sorry, I don't mean to sound callous and come in here just to tell you I'm going to use your personal life for my own gain or something- I truly am happy for you

I completely agree that Bioware should keep up the trend of including non-hetero relationship options in their games and in general keep moving forward by abandoning the "norms" and the "accepted." That being said, I really would rather they do it the way they did in Origins where each person swung a certain way, they weren't just blank slates that were, as I saw one poster in these forums put it, "Hawke-sexuals."

The blank-slate category is exclusively designated for the main character so that each player can see themselves in him/her and make the character into what they imagine. The party-member/companions should be the exact opposite- they should be very carefully crafted and well defined characters that each have their own flavor of backstory and personality. By making the DA2 companions be whatever sexual orientation you wanted them to be, it makes the entire experience more bland, more one-size-fits-all generic stuff.

So if they want to make someone gay? make them gay. If they want someone to be straight, make them straight as a ruler. If they want someone BI, that's absolutely fine, but don't make them these bland/generic characters that'll just mold to whatever the player wants- that's the role of the player character.

Thoughts?

Modifié par DeathStride, 04 avril 2011 - 06:36 .

[MelfinaofOutlawStar]

not so anon wrote...

MelfinaofOutlawStar wrote...

If there is one thing you can't fault Bioware for it's their willingness to encompass many different romance options. I don't know why people were offended by homosexual pairings. I was only offended that (Lady) Hawke had the personality of Bella Swan. Since when does "Sure I guess you can move in" becomes "We'll be together until we die!" I'm better off being single in the game. That is not romantic. That's desperate.XD

I applaud you for writing out your experience on the matter.

Well you know if you can't go one week without encountering an insane mage who wants to kill you, maybe a little desperation is warranted. It seemed to work with Merrill.

It was really pathetic. Like even the diplomatic responses came off more needy than they should have been. The writers need to find a happy medium when it comes with interactions in general.

[Zmajc]

It still doesn't change the fact that they irritated a lot of fans by adding NPC's they despise because they're of wrong sexual orientation for their taste.

I'm all for being progressive but more concern for huge majority of players's sexual orientation would be good.

[Dridengx]

What a wonderful post and I do hope Bioware reads this.

Modifié par Dridengx, 04 avril 2011 - 07:06 .

[MrTijger]

Zmajc wrote...

It still doesn't change the fact that they irritated a lot of fans by adding NPC's they despise because they're of wrong sexual orientation for their taste.

I'm all for being progressive but more concern for huge majority of players's sexual orientation would be good.

Those 'fans' need to grow up then and accept that the view of the majority doesnt necessarily equate to something thats good.

Homosexuality is neither a communicable disease nor is it something that should be hidden from view, and I say that as a straight man.

Modifié par MrTijger, 04 avril 2011 - 07:08 .

[DeathStride]

Zmajc wrote...

It still doesn't change the fact that they irritated a lot of fans by adding NPC's they despise because they're of wrong sexual orientation for their taste.

I'm all for being progressive but more concern for huge majority of players's sexual orientation would be good.

To begin with, if you despise someone because of their sexual orientation then you should address that problem first.

Secondly, from your point of view, the Hawke-sexuals I mentioned above are exactly what the doctor ordered... Each NPC will be whatever sexuality YOU want them to be. If you want them to be straight, flirt with only the ones of the opposite sex, simple as that. Now the only person who doesn't work that way(from what I hear) is Anders. He's the only one who is gay/bi if you're male since he hits on Hawke regardless of Hawke's gender.

Is it really THAT big a deal if one character in a story is gay(assuming you don't like having non-hetero characters)? Since, as I said, the others will act however you want them to.

Modifié par DeathStride, 04 avril 2011 - 07:14 .

[asaiasai]

As a straight man myself i have always been in support of romance options (note the most important term options) that cater to a wider audience. I have been at times brutal and harsh to narrowminded individuals who would take something as insignifigant as the belief in an archaic superstition and try and foist that belief system upon another. If these people all had thier way we would all live in some bland boring world. How boring and bland would the world be with out the likes of Truman Capote, or Andy Warhol who came along and challanged our perceptions of life. Freddy Mercury, Elton John, people who broke new ground both musically and by being themselves in the face of hostile oppression are great and inspiring people whether you like the result of thier art or not. 

Just being yourself sometimes is enough to make people uncomfortable and that is never something you should feel the need to apologize for, your life is exactly that yours to do with as you choose. I am not giving you permission i nor does anyone have that power only you do OP. I am glad that you have come to terms with who you are it shows strength of character that some will never develop, DO NOT EVER LET ANYONE tell you otherwise. Live your life and be happy, minimize the emotional wreckage you leave behind and the rest will take care of itself.

It is unfortunate that we live in a world where differences between people are more important than celebrating the similarities, this shows just how ****ed up my fellow hairless monkies can be sometimes. It also shows just how far we have not traveled from the trees from whence we dropped a millena ago, and proof positive that while we maybe hairless we will still remain true to ourselves and we are still crap flinging monkies regardless of the PR and pats on the back we give ourselves. It shows that if we all let the few dictate to us how we live, instead of ignoring thier ignorant asses everybody can be just as miserable as they are, misery does indeed LOVE company. I am happy that you have chosen to share your choice with the rest of us be yourself and kick their ignorant asses to the curb as the trash they and thier ideas are.

Good luck, remember to be true to yourself, it will not be easy i hope this quote will inspire you as it does me "One must be willing to accept the consequences of what one believes." Dr. Martin Luther King.  Even as a heterosexual man this quote applies as much to me as it does you because It is appropriate as Gay rights is a civil rights issue the world over and better men and women have led us by example. Oppression wrapped in politics, nationalism, religion, or economics is wrong.

Asai  

[Woodstock-TC]

i loved all romance options.
especially since i love playing mostly a femhawke as male. (love the voice, and expressions, and additionally i just get bored watching a guy 40 hours running in front of me sorry. i identify with the actions and decisions but i dont need to identify 1:1 with the character if you know what i mean). thus i loved to romance merril. it was nice, and adorable and i appreciate bioware for keeping free choices.

Modifié par Woodstock-TC, 04 avril 2011 - 08:25 .

[ji.Ruichi]

It must be difficult to share this. Thanks.

[houseMDfan]

Without being anonymous I will state that I have always been happy that I can make my characters straight, gay, bisexual, whatever in a BioWare game.

As a queer woman I have found myself to be trying to find my spot in the world. I have other gay people who think I am lying when I tell them my orientation. They don't find my orientation to be 'real'.

I know people have had beef with Anders. I think if one analyzes Anders you'll realize he isn't this horny person.

Also, zmajc... Uhm. In this case the majority should not dictate the rights of the minority. I'm sorry if someone like Anders ruffled your feathers. Get over it.

My Female Hawke is pansexual. And she approves of this thread.

[Legbiter]

So gay good...MOAR?

[MrTijger]

Legbiter wrote...

So gay good...MOAR?

No, she is saying keep it this way and thank you for allowing gay relationships in a game.

gay is good, yes, so is straight or bi. Simple, isnt it?

[Legbiter]

MrTijger wrote...

Legbiter wrote...

So gay good...MOAR?

No, she is saying keep it this way and thank you for allowing gay relationships in a game.

gay is good, yes, so is straight or bi. Simple, isnt it?

Ah ok, fair enough.

And yep, it's pretty simple.

[Chewin]

@OP This must be hard for you to share this, so thx.

And BTW I support your post

[marshalleck]

Interesting post. I share your sentiment in appreciating and respecting Bioware and especially David Gaider for his candid response to the "controversy." I hardly think it really qualifies as a controversy myself, just a few malcontents on a forum presuming to speak for a huge demographic to which I personally belong, although I never consented to their representation nor do I share any of their beliefs.

Time will tell if the writing staff stick to their guns in this regard, but I'm hopeful they will and to that end I will give them credit where credit is due, and it is certainly due in this case. Privilege is a powerful and deceptively subtle force (at least to those whom it benefits) in any culture and I applaud David's eloquent expose of it and his team's decision on how to handle it. 

Modifié par marshalleck, 04 avril 2011 - 10:14 .