662 réponses à ce sujet

[rayvioletta]

Louis deGuerre wrote...

 Brilliant as usual  

Don't you ever go : Oh evil imagination, what dark path did you lead me on now ! I turned Oghren into an elf ! 

I almost made him a mage, almost

[Kklathan]

That my friends, is the rare element WIN-arium in condensed form. OP my thanks, I lawl'd.

[cr8gg]

ItsToofy wrote...

cr8gg wrote...

ItsToofy wrote...



Proving Master: And in the other corner... DEADEYE DUNCAN!

refering to that one?

ok i am confused now  i dont get it  

KOTOR

ah... i didnt play that ... so i dont know about it... but i use google to search DEADEYE DUNCA .. so i am smarter now  

[Curlain]

rayvioletta wrote...


Oghren: And have to wear a dress? No, no way! Sod it I'll just pick one of the others at random...

Shianni: Wake up! Don't you remember what day it is?
Oghren: Urgh... oh, hey baby! You're looking pretty damn hot, why not take off a few clothes and cool down?
Shianni: I'm your cousin you perv! And you're getting MARRIED!
Oghren: Wait, what? Married? No! Wait, is she hot?
Shianni: Soris said she was gorgeous. He was hoping to get you to agree to a swap
Oghren: Well... I suppose this isn't so bad then. Wait, cousin? You're an elf!
Shianni: Maybe you were adopted or something... I try not to think about it too much. Honestly, I try not to think about you too much...
Cyrion: Ah my son, I'm so proud of you...
Oghren: Yeah yeah, bring out the hottie, Oghren's gonna start the honeymoon early!
Cyrion: Please just... don't talk until she's actually said the vows.
Oghren: Will there be any beer?
Cyrion: If Shianni hasn't already drank it all
Oghren: My kind of woman! Are you sure she's my cousin? Can't I just...
Cyrion: Please don't finish that sentence. I'm trying to be proud of you
Oghren goes outside where he runs into Soris, Valora and Felsi
Oghren: Well hello ladies... wait are you female as well Soris? I can never tell with Elves...

to be continued...

Oghren the City Elf, brilliant :DB)

(oh and I loved the Murder Knife friendship +10, that knife needs some love )

[ItsToofy]

rayvioletta wrote...

Doggigan: There's a talking stick here!
Log: I'm a conversation log!

Epic winning!

[LebatomiBeni]

I seriously lmao'd at the "lawn ornaments" comment. LOL

Do continue. I'll be waiting. That last bit with Oghren was brilliant.

[rayvioletta]

Part 22

Mother Boann: We are gathered here today to celebrate the unions of...
Oghren burps
Oghren: Sorry
Vaughan: We're here to take your womenfolk!
Felsi: Oh no!
Boann: Andraste preserve us!
Oghren: Nobody steals Oghren's women!
Oghren runs at Vaughan but is attacked by several armed bodyguards. Oghren, unarmed and unarmoured, successfully fights a dozen armed and armoured men, then takes an axe from one of them and throws it at Vaughan where it hits him right between the eyes
Felsi: Oh Oghren you're my hero! Marry me!
Boann: And me!
Valora: Me too!
Shianni: And me!
Soris: Me too! If I am a girl!



Leliana: Bull****! That's not what really happened!
Oghren: Yeah ok, so maybe I only killed half a dozen and only slept with ten elf girls but...
Leliana: Why lie now? About this? What have you to gain?
Oghren: Other than the adoration of every woman in earshot?
Leliana: There's only me and Doggigan here! Unless Shale is a girl...
Shale: Can golem's be sick? I believe I may soon find out
Qwerty: Storytime's over, according to this map we should be at Carridan's Cross
Oghren: Yep, this is it. And Branka's been here too
Alistair: How can you tell? Did she leave markings in the walls or something?
Qwerty: You're not in the party Alice, remember? We had to leave you behind to bring Oghren
Alistair: Yes well if he can pop up at random all the time then so can I
Oghren: It wasn't at random! It was just whenever anyone said anything pervy!



Alistair: You walked in on me when I was polishing my sword!
Qwerty: I really hope that isn't a euphemism
Oghren: I thought you were giving it to the swamp witch!
Alistair: Why would I give her my sword? She'd probably stab me with it
Oghren: You're twice my sodding height and it goes over *your* head?
Qwerty: So anyway... which way would Branka have gone?
Oghren: Doesn't matter, all roads will lead to the same place, just one route might have an item for a sidequest along the way
Qwerty: Then how can anyone get lost down here?
Oghren: We're usually drunk

The party fight through a few waves of Darkspawn and are ambushed by a group of deep stalkers
Qwerty: Why is it that these tiny creatures are tougher than the ogres we fought earlier?
Alistair: Level scaling
Oghren: If you're going to imitate my rules you have to wait for something pervy
Alistair: Oghren if you're in the party it's safe to assume that something perverse is being said or at least thought all the time
Oghren: True enough. Hey did I mention that Branka used to like playing this game where we...
Alistair: Oh look at that, I'm not in the party am I? I'd better go. Bye!
Ruck: My stash! My cave! Go away!
Qwerty: We're not going to hurt you
Ruck: Really? Ruck be nice then
Oghren: This must have been Branka's camp
Ruck: They takes things of paper and metal! They takes the shinies and the words! They takes them to their web!
Qwerty: The World Wide Web? They uploaded them onto the internet? Great, that'll make it easy to find, let's just hit google...
Ruck: No no no! Spider web!
Qwerty: Well damn. I hope nobody's arachnophobic
Leliana: Not me
Doggigan: Alistair is, I scared the crap out of him with my spider form
Qwerty: Alistair's scared of you in any form though
Shale: Spiders... not as bad as pigeons but having webs spun over ones face is hardly pleasant
Leliana: Ok maybe a little creeped out now
Ruck: No worry. These spiders too big to web face. These spiders big as golem
Leliana: Ok maybe more than a little
Qwerty: Right then, let's find those papers and figure out where Branka went



Ruck: Bye bye! Ruck go back to his cave to be mad alone again. Ruck listen to big evil voice again
Qwerty: Have fun

The party take a few steps away from the cave and are suddenly caught in webs appearing from nowhere as giant spiders mob them. Luckily after a few seconds the webs vanish just as mysteriously as they appeared. Qwerty, Leliana and Oghren start hacking at the spiders while Shale just punches and jumps on them. Doggigan starts breathing fire on them
Qwerty: You can still cast spells in that form?
Doggigan: Only if the plot or impending bad joke demand it
Leliana: Spider, spider burning bright. In the forests of the night. Wait a minute, that's not right...
Qwerty: I see

Several battles with spiders, darkspawn, golems, ghosts and...
Leliana: Ghosts and golems? What are they doing here?
Qwerty: Ghosts and Golems? Sounds like some kind of RPG
...and a spider queen later they find Branka's diary
Qwerty: "Dear Diary, went to Deep Roads looking for Anvil of the Void. Left that stupid elf-blooded-dwarf Oghren behind..."
Oghren: I told you I wasn't making it all up!
Qwerty: "since my girlfriend looks like him and is better in bed..."
Oghren: Wait, what? Eh?
Qwerty: "Going to Dead Trenches now but leaving you behind Diary for no good reason except for the players party to know where to find me"
Oghren: The Dead Trenches? Damn it, why couldn't Branka lead me somewhere nice like the Live Trenches Incidentally Filled With Naked Women?
Leliana: Can we go there next?
Alistair: Oh don't worry, I hear there's at least a few bare breasts in the Dead Trenches...
Qwerty: Guess we follow the clue to the Dead Trenches then!
Leliana: Indeed!
Oghren: How do you do that?
Leliana: Do what?
Oghren: Obsess about ****** but manage not to spend all damn day staring at your own?
Leliana: Whenever I want to see a ****** I can just look at you

The party enter the Dead Trenches



The Arch Demon swoops down...
Alistair: Swooping is...
Qwerty pushes Alistair off the bridge
Doggigan: Unfortunately he'll probably survive since he wasn't actually here
Qwerty: There'll be more bridges later
Doggigan friendship +10
...and lands on a bridge looking down at a few billion Darkspawn
Qwerty: Oh crap
Shale: Dragon... and all those poor statues...
Doggigan: That is no dragon, that's the Arch Demon. We must be careful not to attract it's attention
Qwerty: But my mission is to kill it! It's right there!
Leliana: It's guarded by billions of Darkspawn!
Qwerty: Most of them are too far away to stop us.
Doggigan: Do you know how to kill an Arch Demon?
Qwerty: I was going to try stabbing it, that usually works on most enemies
Doggigan: It won't be enough on this one, trust me. Look, it's flying away now anyway
Kardol: Legion! Guard this bridge!
Qwerty: Who are you?
Kardol: Legion of the Dead. My name's Kardol and we're guarding this bridge
Qwerty: From Darkspawn?
Kardol: No, from theft. When it comes to crime prevention it's safest to think big
Qwerty: So you won't be helping us then?
Kardol: Not a bit
Qwerty: Right then. Off we go then
Several thousand Darkspawn kills later...
Hespith: One two, Darkspawn coming for you
Qwerty: The hell was that?
Hespith: Three four, better kill some more
More Darkspawn attack and indeed are killed
Hespith: Five six, fall for their tricks
Qwerty: Is anyone else hearing that?
Leliana: It's kind of catchy
Hespith: Seven eight, they'll give you the taint
Leliana: It's not particularly cheery but it has a good rhythm...
Hespith: Nine ten, you'll be a Broodmother then...
They round a corner and meet Hespith



Hespith: 'ello

Part 23

Modifié par rayvioletta, 12 mai 2011 - 02:16 .

[DocDoomII]

Alistair: You walked in on me when I was polishing my sword!
Qwerty: I really hope that isn't a euphasism

omg ahahahah xD

[Sabriana]

Ohh, a cliff-hanger. I would quote the parts I laughed out loud at, but that would have me reposting the whole of it.

I see you have a link in your sig for the whole of it. I'll be checking it and if you don't mind I'd like to copy it on my flash and show it to friends of mine tonight.

Edited because spellings are tricksy

Modifié par Sabriana, 16 avril 2011 - 12:51 .

[rayvioletta]

Sabriana wrote...

I see you have a link in your sig for the whole of it. I'll be checking it and if you don't mind I'd like to copy it on my flash and show it to friends of mine tonight.

I don't mind. anyone is free to link or repost this anywhere provided they give credit and a link to the original
naming your firstborn after me is entirely optional

[Whisky]

Lol, awesome chanting by hespith =D

[Mecher3k]

Hahaha, the Hespith part was great. Well actually the entire thing has been great.

[Louis deGuerre]

I suspect the Legion of the Dead has Corporal Nobbs and Sergeant Colon serving

[rayvioletta]

Part 23

Qwerty: Wow, you look...
Oghren: Hot!
Qwerty: I was going to say "ill"
Oghren: She has ******, she's hot
Leliana and Doggigan roll their eyes
Hespith: One two, buckle my... wait. no. One two, Darkspawn coming for...
Qwerty: Yes, yes. We heard that the first time. Very nice. Now what the sod are you talking about?
Hespith: I was her captain, her lover and I could not turn her...
Oghren: Hey, she wasn't *that* fat... wait, what?
Qwerty: Lover huh? Guess that explains why she left you
Doggigan: Oh yes, because that was such a mystery, only a lesbian would leave such a specimen of manhood...
Oghren: Have you been peeking on me in the bath... wait, I haven't had any baths. Not that I'd mind either, so long as you did it in human form. Or dwarf. Or elf. Or quarian, I always wondered...
Doggigan: Enough with those references!
Leliana: Seasons don't fear the Reapers...
Doggigan: Not funny!
Hespith: Bye bye!
Qwerty: Hey, come back here! Damn it
Several Darkspawn and a couple of ogres run at the party. Several Darkspawn, a couple of ogres, and several dozen waves of more Darkspawn are soon lying dead
Oghren: Well would you look at that... a Legion of the Dead burial chamber
Qwerty: Looting time!
Ghostly dwarves attack
Oghren: It's undead Legion of the Dead!
Qwerty: They're undead dead?
Ghost: Um... yes? Wait...
The ghosts vanish in a fit of confused existence failure

Qwerty: Well that was odd to say the least. I wonder what's around this corner...
Leliana: Holy Maker!
Oghren: Look at the ****** on that one!
Qwerty: Seriously? I'd really rather not. Please tell me there's a DLC to give her a shirt!
EAlistair: Oh so now you want costume DLC. Earlier it was all "ooh give me the bare breasts, and take your filthy DLC and shove it"
Leliana: Can we please kill this disgusting thing?
Doggigan: Alistair or the Broodmother?
Oghren stares, hypnotised, drooling. Suddenly tentacles shoot up out of the ground and try to grab the party



Leliana: Hey! I'm not wearing a school uniform and this is not that kind of game!
Oghren (muttering): mmmm uniform....
The rest of the party start hacking, biting or punching the tentacles, trying to get closer to the Broodmother
Oghren: Oh I'd like to get closer to her...
Shale picks up Oghren and throws him at the Broodmother
Shale: Wish granted
Oghren lands on her and she screams in panic as he starts trying to grope her. The tentacles retreat from the party and all make a grab for Oghren
Qwerty charges in, thrusting his sword...
Qwerty: Can we please not use the word thrusting in this encounter, it's going to give me nightmares!
...into her belly and slicing her open. The Broodmother wails in pain, the tentacles drop Oghren and she turns into a small sack of loot
Hespith: One Two, I should thank you. Three four, I'll see you no more
Hespith jumps off the ledge down a deep drop to her presumed death
Oghren: What does a dwarf have to do to get some loving?
Doggigan: Taking a bath once in a while would be a good start
Oghren: Don't you swear at me you... you... unless you'd like to join me in the bath... whatever form you like, just as long as it's female
Qwerty: Maybe we should just keep moving. You do still want to find your wife, don't you?

The party enter another section of the Deep Roads and find a room filled with dead darkspawn and dwarves.



Branka: I needed bodies to waltz into traps and spring them. I needed entertainment to stop me from going mad with boredom. And most of all I needed them to stop looking like Oghren! Honestly, is it any wonder I became sexually confused?
Oghren: Well shave my back and call me an elf, Branka?
Branka: You... which one are you? You all look alike...
Oghren: It's your favourite lover!
Branka: Hespith? Rica? Dagna? Nerav? Filda? Jarvia? Lady Dace? Zerlinda? Adal? Nadezda?
Oghren: It's me, Oghren!
Branka: Ah, you. Well I suppose I don't mind if you wander into Carridan's traps and get killed. It's a win win for me either way. Off you go then
Oghren: Well that didn't go quite as I'd planned
Qwerty: I think she may be several houses short of a brick
Doggigan: She married Oghren! Did anyone honestly expect her to be sane?
Leliana: Trap ahead!
Qwerty: I noticed! Pass me the fire extinguisher. And you can lead
Leliana: Me? Lead? But... I'm supporting cast!
Qwerty: You're also the only one who can see these traps despite them not being even slightly concealed
Leliana: Maybe you should have rolled rogue!
Qwerty: But then I couldn't do this!
Qwerty shoots blood out of every pore into every direction. Again
Doggigan rivalry +42
Oghren: If any of that got into my booze and doesn't improve the taste then you and I are gonna have words

A long, long passage of trap disarming, darkspawn slaughtering and Oghren insulting later...
Oghren: I'm just saying, those elf chicks were all over me, begging me to stay in the Alienage but I said no, ol' Oghren's gotta go save the world
Leliana: And how exactly did you wind up back in Orzammar without being branded a surface dwarf?
Oghren: Well you see there were these real hot female twins guarding the gates and when the legendary Oghren showed up they just dragged me into the city and straight to their bedroom for a little horizontal dancing
Qwerty: What the hell is that?
Oghren: Warden if you don't know that then I dunno how you managed to catch such a red hot piece...
Qwerty: I meant what the hell is *that*
Qwerty points at a huge statue thing with four faces
Oghren: Oh that. That's a huge statue thing with four faces
Leliana: They don't look happy to see us
Shale: They look stoned
Leliana: Doggigan! That's not going to make them happier!
Doggigan: It gives me a buff, stop complaining



Qwerty: I've had to deal with some two-faced individuals before but never four-faced
Oghren: Well we're gonna have to face off with this one
Some ghosts spawn, get killed and anvils glow
Oghren: I think Carridan might have been drunk when he designed this one...
Branka: Hurry up and kill it! I want my anvil!
Oghren: It's dead already! Quit your whining and give your Oghren a big old hug! And preferably a bl...
Branka: At last, the way is clear! The Anvil is mine! Mine! ALL MINE!
Caridin: STOP! The Anvil must never be used again!
Branka: No, I must have it! I must!
Caridin: The Anvil creates Golems but it cannot create life, it must take it from elsewhere
Qwerty: You mean it drains somebody's energy or something?
Caridin: It's simpler than that. We put somebody in a golem suit, sit them on the Anvil, fill their suit with hot lava and smack them with a great big hammer
Qwerty: I bet that hurts like hell
Caridin: Yep. It took feeling the hammers blow myself to make me realise how evil it was and change my wicked ways
Branka: There's nothing evil about murder, slavery and red hot lava!
Qwerty: You know I think there kind of is
Branka: Help me kill him!
Oghren: Oh go on, what harm would it do?
Qwerty: Are you seriously that stupid?
Oghren: She has ******!
Leliana: So do I, and I say we stop her!
Oghren: Damn it, now I'm confused!



Shale: You created... all the golems?
Caridin: Shale? Is that you?
Shale: Sebastian Hale actually but yes, I go by Shale
Caridin: You were a cute dwarven lass before I... (mutters)horribly murdered you with red hot lava and a hammer
Shale: A dwarven... lass? Cute?
Caridin: You were my true love
Shale: I... what?
Caridin runs up to Shale and gives her a hug and cops a feel
Oghren: That's disgust... wait, one of them's a girl right? Hot!
Shale: Get off me!
Branka: We can kill him and take the Anvil and build an army of golems and rule the world!
Caridin: I say we toss the dwarf into the lava
Shale: Now you're finally making sense
Oghren: Don't do it Warden!
Qwerty: Sorry Oggy, but I'm not siding with that mad b***h
Oghren rivalry +50
Shale and Caridin pick Branka up and throw her into the lava
Shale and Caridin pick Oghren up and...
Oghren: Stop them! I'll take back the rivalry points I swear! I don't want to die sober!
Qwerty: Oh alright, put him down
Oghren friendship +50
Shale: Awww
Caridin: As you wish. Now I shall grant you a boon as a reward
Qwerty: Vote Bhelen?
Caridin: Ok. I'll even make a crown
Qwerty: Can I have one too?
Caridin: No
Qwerty: Bugger
Caridin: Here you go, one dwarf sized crown
Caridin hands them a crown and a remote control



Caridin: Here. I cannot self terminate. You must lower me and the anvil into the lava.
Qwerty lowers Caridin into the lava
Caridin: Goodbye

In the Chamber of the Assembly...
Bhelen: Finally! Did the crazy b***h vote for me?
Qwerty: Not exactly, but Caridin did
Harrowmont: I will grudgingly accept this despite the fact that I have no reason to believe Caridin could still be alive or that his seal was not forged
Bhelen: See? Such an idiot does not deserve to rule. Or live. Off with his head!
Qwerty: I didn't help you so that you could start executing people
Bhelen: I know but it's a hobby. Now, we made a deal so you'll have our aid against the Blight. Just please take Oghren with you. I don't need the reminder of what my Rica used to look like. The nightmares haunt me still
Alistair: Can I join the party again now? Can I? Please? Please say I can
Qwerty: Oh alright, but only because it's funny when Doggigan insults you
Doggigan: You fight like a dairy farmer!
Alistair: Yeah well... how appropriate, you fight like a dog!

Back at camp

Leliana: So it's time I told you what really happened. You see, there were four of us. Tug, a dwarf, an apostate named Sketch and of course Marjoline and me.
Oghren: Foursome huh? Kinky!
Leliana: No, not like that! Well, okay sometimes like that... but anyway, we were in Denerim...
Qwerty: Denerim? I thought you said it happened in Orlais?
Leliana: Orlais, Denerim, I get them confused sometimes. They both look like Lothering
Qwerty: Fair enough
Leliana: Anyway we beat up a guard, dressed him up in funny clothes and put a dead body on him. Oh and stole from the chantry poor box and nailed naughty underthings to the chanters board
Qwerty: I'm guessing you didn't tell the Sisters in Lothering about this
Leliana: Then me and Marjoline made out a bit
Oghren: Hot!
Leliana: Killed some guards and planted some documents but she betrayed me when I read them and...
Oghren: Hot! Wait, sorry. Is "betrayed" one of those euphemism things?
Leliana: No
Oghren: Shame



Leliana: I escaped and joined the Chantry
Oghren: I liked my origin story better

Part 24

Modifié par rayvioletta, 12 mai 2011 - 04:13 .

[Curlain]

rayvioletta wrote...

part 23


Doggigan: She married Oghren! Did anyone honestly expect her to be sane?

to be continued...

lol I love how true this line is 

Great stuff as usual 

[Louis deGuerre]

rayvioletta wrote...

Caridin: Here. I cannot self terminate. You must lower me and the anvil into the lava.

I was so thinking about Arnold at that time too

[riknap]

Just registered to say that this. is. AWESOME. Apparently somebody has been reading too much tv tropes~~

[rayvioletta]

Part 24
The following takes place between part 23 and part 25
Events do not occur in real time

Qwerty, Alistair, Leliana, Shale and Doggigan enter the Brecilian Forest for the final treaty
Qwerty: I can't believe how far it was from camp to here. This is the longest day of my life!
Alistair: Well at least you don't have a daughter, we'd have lost a lot of time having to rescue her from kidnappers again and again
Leliana: I haven't seen any elves yet, do you think they got kidnapped instead?
Doggigan: There's usually some Dalish around this part of the forest, we'll probably run into them any time now...
Mithra: Halt! Thou shalt not pass!


Tattoo unintentionally changed by an unknown addon

Qwerty: You must be one of the Dalish...
Mithra: And you must be lost, Shem. Turn away while you still can
Qwerty: Actually I was looking for you
Mithra: Me? Why? Wait, Sanga didn't send you did she? Because I'm not going back, I'm one of the Dalish now!
Qwerty: No, I mean we're looking for the Dalish. We're Grey Wardens, well me and Alice are anyway, and we have these treaties...
Mithra: Grey Wardens? Why don't you have uniforms then?
Qwerty: I'm wearing one!
Mithra: No that's just a suit of armour, I mean those silly blue and white striped ones
Qwerty: Look, we're bloody Wardens ok? Just take us to your leader
Doggigan: Keeper
Mithra: Fine, follow me. But be warned, there's five billion arrows trained on you right now and if you try anything you'll be taught the meaning of overkill.
Zathrian: I see you bring guests...
Qwerty: Sign my Voyager DVD box set! Please? Please?
Zathrian: Who are these people Mithra?
Mithra: They say they're Grey Wardens
Zathrian: Ah, then I know why you're here
Qwerty: Say "live long and prosper"!
Zathrian: I'm afraid however that we can offer no aid. As you can see, our hunters have all been bitten by werewolves
Qwerty: Do the hand sign thing!
Zathrian: If you truly want our aid... can you stop pushing those damn DVDs at me! If you want our aid, you must find and defeat Witherfang the great wolf. Bring me his heart and I can try to cure my people
Qwerty: And then you'll autograph them?
Alistair: You want him to autograph his people? Oh, is that what those tattoos are?
Qwerty: No, autograph the DVDs you pillock
Alistair rivalry +10
Alistair: Wait, is "pillock" an insult?
Qwerty: Yes
Alistair rivalry +10
Qwerty: So do we have a deal?
Zathrian: I'll even do the damn quote
Lanaya: I am the Keeper's First...
Leliana: Aren't you a little young? He waited until he was that old before his first time?
Lanaya: No, not that kind of first! I am his right hand...
Oghren: But my right hand *was* that kind of first...
Lanaya: I'm second in command, ok? We welcome you, heroes for hire. Save our hunters, before they expire. Don't leave us for dead, like on Virmire



Alistair: You're a poet and you didn't know it!
Lanaya: I am a poet and I do know it, stupid Shemlen!
Qwerty: What's in this box I wonder...
Lanaya: Do not open that! If you do then I and all Dalish shall hate you and your entire kind for all eternity
Qwerty: Sorry, DA2 style. You'll just ignore us looting you blind
Lanaya: Damn it!
Qwerty: Nice book
Alistair: Does it have pictures?
Qwerty: Some gold too
Lanaya hums to herself
Qwerty: This bow looks pretty good too
Lanaya: Could you at least not do it right under my nose? See, now you made Cammen cry!
Cammen: No, I was c-crying anyway
Qwerty: Why?
Cammen: There's th-this girl. She won't m-marry me
Oghren : Girl huh? Wait, are you a boy elf or a girl elf? I want to know whether to go for her or a threesome
Cammen: I'm a b-boy but everyone calls me a g-girl
Oghren: Hmm, a riddle huh? Well that's easily solved, what's in your pants?
Cammen: I have my d-diary in my pocket. And some flowers
Leliana: Oh leave the poor thing alone Oghren. Go back to camp, you're not even in the party
Oghren: Right, just because I'm alive now I should stop turning up when there's a chance for sex? Hey, you know all those fade-to-blacks, I took some Mass Effect night vision goggles from that vault...
Qwerty: You weren't even there!
Oghren: There were girl dwarves locked up in cells! You know what girls get up to when there's no men around don't you?
Alistair: Gossiping?
Leliana: Planning to kill Oghren?
Doggigan: Killing templars, practicing blood magic and asking when we three shall meet again? What? That's what mother and I did when we had visitors
Oghren: They get naked and have pillowfights! Everyone knows that! So I went to the vault to watch
Alistair: And did they have any pillowfights?
Oghren: They didn't even have pillows! Well, their cells didn't have pillows, some of them had a nice pair of pillows I'd like to rest my head on...
Doggigan: Charming. Yet still less annoying than Alice
Cammen: P-pillow fights? B-but fighting s-scares me!
Qwerty: I wonder why she wouldn't want to marry you...
Cammen: And I can't go into the f-forest to prove my worth
Qwerty: Because of the werewolves?
Cammen: T-that and m-my allergies. I'm allergic to being brave
Qwerty: Tell you what, point out this girl and we'll have a word with her
Cammen: R-really? You'd d-do that? T-that's her
Qwerty: A red-head too, nice. Leliana, shall we?
Leliana: Let's!
Qwerty: Just one thing first, Shale?
Qwerty whispers something in Shale's ear
One fade-to-black threesome later
Oghren rivalry +10
Wynne friendship +10
Qwerty: Eh? Wynne?
Leliana: Old perv must've been spying on us!
Oghren: Damn it golem, did you have to put your hands over my eyes right at that moment?
Shale: What did it just call me?
Oghren: Um... gorgeous?
Shale: Even worse!
Shale picks up Oghren and throws him in the direction of the camp
Cammen: Noooooooo!
Qwerty: Oh don't worry, it's only Oghren
Cammen: M-my g-girl! Y-you... I can't even s-say it!
Lanaya: I'd be pissed, but honestly Cammen's so annoying that I actually like you better now. Go with our blessings friends
Qwerty: Perhaps we could persuade you to join us too?
Lanaya: I'm sorry but that flirt option in my dialogue is just to tease you
Qwerty: Damn. Maybe in another game then, if I can resist the shy blue girl
Elora: Wait! I still have a quest. My halla is sick
Alistair: Why's it wearing a pointy hat?
Elora: Halla-ween costume
Qwerty: I'll use my super survival skills to calm it down. I knew those points weren't a waste
Elora: Ah I see, this halla isn't sick, her mate is and she's worried!
Alistair: So we saved them? Halla-lujah
Qwerty: Right, time to go wolf hunting then

Some walking and a little fighting later...
Alistair: I see dead person



Leliana: He's not dead, he's just stunned
Alistair: I think he's dead
Qwerty: He's just pining... see, pine cones on the ground around him
Leliana checks his pulse
Leliana: He's alive
Shale: Pity
Doggigan: We could kill him and take his stuff
Qwerty: Let's take him back to the Dalish camp
One quick trip there and back later...
Swiftrunner: Thou shalt not pass!
Qwerty: I hear that a lot...
Swiftrunner: Evil Dalish send you to do their bidding but we not let you!
Qwerty picks up a stick and throws it



Qwerty: Fetch!
The werewolves and Doggigan run off after the stick
After a short walk they're ambushed by trees
Alistair: Not the trees! NOT THE TREES!
Qwerty: What? They're just trees, what's to be scared of?
Alistair: Didn't you see Evil Dead?
Grand Oak: Hmm what manner of beast be thee who come before this elder tree?
Qwerty: Another poet? Is there a convention here or something?
Grand Oak: Help me please for I have need. Some mad b*****d has stolen my seed
Qwerty: Ok...



Grand Oak: If you return my acorn to myself, I shall help you aid the elf
Qwerty: Where is this mad b*****d?
Alistair: I'm right here. Oh you meant the other one...
Grand Oak: Somewhere, over there
Qwerty: Right. Off we go then
Doggigan runs up with the stick in her mouth
Doggigan rivalry +10

Part 25

Modifié par rayvioletta, 15 mai 2011 - 11:54 .

[Esbatty]

I love Doggigan so much.

...

EDIT: "Not the trees!", ah I love Evil Dead references.

Modifié par Esbatty, 17 avril 2011 - 11:37 .

[Louis deGuerre]

rayvioletta wrote...

Zathrian: I'll even do the damn quote

He did that role suprisingly well.

rayvioletta wrote...

Qwerty: Sorry, DA2 style. You'll just ignore us looting you blind

I know exactly which bit you mean *facepalm*

rayvioletta wrote...

Wynne friendship +10

Biggest "wait...what ?" moment in DAO for me. Also hilarious.

[rayvioletta]

Louis deGuerre wrote...

rayvioletta wrote...

Qwerty: Sorry, DA2 style. You'll just ignore us looting you blind

I know exactly which bit you mean *facepalm*

I thought someone might have an inkling of what I meant

[Vhardamis]

"Alistair: I see dead person
Leliana: He's not dead, he's just stunned
Alistair: I think he's dead
Qwerty: He's just pining... see, pine cones on the ground around him"


...aww and here  I thought you were going the Monty Python route for a second and got all excited. Now I has a sad.

[rayvioletta]

pining IS the monty python routine just in this case for the cones not the fjords

[astreqwerty]

bumbity bumb

[rayvioletta]

Part 25

Alistair: Another werewolf!
Doggigan: I am not a werewolf!
Alistair: Don't trust her, it's a talking dog! It must be a were creature
Doggigan: You know very well who I am
Alistair: Can we kill her anyway?
Qwerty: Maybe if her rivalry goes up again
Doggigan riva...friendship +10?
Qwerty: Better. Good doggy!
Doggigan (mutters): Go with the Warden she said. Stop the Blight she said. It'll be fun she said. I swear I'd be sending someone to kill her right now if I hadn't already
Alistair: Werewolf!
Doggigan: I am not a bloody...
Alistair: No, there!
Qwerty: Where?



Alistair: No! Were!
Qwerty: Nowhere? Then what's the problem?
Alistair: Look over there! A werewolf!
Qwerty: Oh, therewolf! Why didn't you say so?
Alistair bursts into tears of frustration
Morrigan friendship +10
Danyla: Hi, could you help me please?
Shale: Does it want us to help it die perhaps? I'm sure we could help with that
Danyla: Actually yes. And then please deliver...
Squish!
Qwerty: I don't think she was done talking
Leliana: She was holding out this scarf, I think she wanted us to deliver it
Alistair: Perhaps the golem would like to wear it. Who's a pretty girly golem?
Shale: Would It object if I tore the whiny ones head off and punted it?
Alistair: Or we could just carry it around in your bag with the twenty or so swords, full sets of armour, shields, bows and... Oghren?!
Oghren: What, how did you think I kept turning up?
Right click Oghren. Mark as junk
Qwerty: Now to find a merchant...
Oghren rivalry +50
Qwerty: Anyway my psychic powers say that one of the Dalish Elves wants this
Leliana: Is it just me or are walking in circles?
Alistair: You're right, this does look familiar
Doggigan: I can sense some magic, I think it's confusing us and turning us around
Qwerty: Ok let's go a different direction then
Hermit: Oh no, no no I'm not ready yet! Mustn't disturb me, you mustn't must you?
Alistair: Seems like he's already quite disturbed...
Qwerty: Who are you?
Hermit: Yes, questions! Questions yes! Ask a question and get a question would you like to play?
Qwerty: I already asked a question
Alistair: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?
Hermit: No! No! No no no no no! Not a valid question! Go away! I refuse to put up with...



Alistair: Where do babies come from?
Hermit: Babylon! Yes you see I knew that one, didn't think I would did you?
Qwerty: Was that your question?
Hermit: What? Was it? I suppose so yes. Damn it, now it's your turn
Qwerty: Do you have the Oak's acorn?
Hermit: Yes I do, I took it and you can't have it! My turn now. What is your favourite colour?
Qwerty: Octarine. What would you trade for the acorn?
Hermit: Kill the oak and it's yours. Why is your hair pink?
Qwerty: Because I'm a pretty, pretty princess. Why do you want the Oak dead?
Hermit: Why? Why? Why not! Why shouldn't I?
Qwerty: That's a fair few questions isn't it? Doesn't that mean you lose?
Hermit: What? Damn it! You and your cheating methods of enforcing the rules! Fine, you want the acorn we'll trade for it. What do you have?
Qwerty: Alistair
Alistair rivalry +10
Qwerty: A book. A scarf. Oghren
Oghren rivalry +10
Qwerty: A cheese sandwich
Alistair rivalry +25
Qwerty: Or a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle
Hermit grabs the book and runs away. A few seconds later an acorn appears several inches above Qwerty's head and falls
Qwerty: Well that was... questionable

The party return to the Oak, pausing only to fight several waves of trees, darkspawn and werewolves
Oak: My seed is at last returned to me, you've made me a very happy tree
Qwerty: Great. Can you help us get through the magical barrier?
Oak: Through the barrier thou must pass, using this map and compass
Leliana: You can't rhyme pass with compass!
Oak: Oh just go away!

The party return to the magical barrier, pausing only to fight several waves of trees, darkspawn and werewolves
Swiftrunner: Intruders! We will not let you pass this time!
Qwerty throws a stick. The werewolves start to run but quickly return
Swiftrunner: Your stick throwing mind tricks won't work on us! Attack!
Swiftrunner explodes into a billion pieces as he's stabbed but several more waves of werewolves jump out of trees nowhere near strong enough to have supported their weight
Suddenly a white wolf jumps out and knocks Swiftrunner to safety despite him having exploded
Qwerty: I never quite get used to seeing that happen. Oh well, onwards!

Part 26

Modifié par rayvioletta, 15 mai 2011 - 02:55 .