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[luke1608]

[rayvioletta]

Pink Pigtailed Productions Proudly Presents...

Part 41
Slightly less than the meaning of life, the universe and everything
Possibly the meaning of middle age, the galaxy and something.

Oghren: Wait, there's hills and woods here!
Qwerty: Yes, that's to be expected.
Oghren: But I thought this was Not Wood Hills?

as you might have guessed, computer problems interrupted the update. I'll get back to it ASAP

Modifié par rayvioletta, 31 octobre 2011 - 02:48 .

[rayvioletta]

I think it's fixed, spending time with my girlfriend this evening though so I'll resume the update tomorrow

[FaeQueenCory]

rayvioletta wrote...

I think it's fixed, spending time with my girlfriend this evening though so I'll resume the update tomorrow

I've been putting off reading this because I thought that it would hurt my soul........ but it's so good and funny that the soul-killing is ignorable!
I can't wait for the next chapter<3<3!!

[rayvioletta]

I've started on the update but not quite happy with it just yet. expect it up soon though

and I am of course keeping backups in case the computer blows up

[rayvioletta]

Pink Pigtailed Productions Proudly Presents...

Part 41
Slightly less than the meaning of life, the universe and everything
Possibly the meaning of middle age, the galaxy and something.

Oghren: Wait, there's hills and woods here!
Qwerty: Yes, that's to be expected.
Oghren: But I thought this was Not Wood Hills?
Anders: Does anyone else have a feeling of deja-vu?
Qwerty: Let's just find that bloody hole
Anders: Bear!
Nate: Where?
Anders: Were-bear?
Oghren: Where beer?
Qwerty: Next time perhaps you could help me kill the Bereskarn?
Anders: This looks like the hole



Qwerty: Someone fell down this by accident?
Oghren: Maybe they didn't see it
Nate: Perhaps his friend pushed him
Anders: Ooh can we push the dwarf? Oh please! Can we?
Qwerty: Maybe later. Let's have a look up here
Anders: Oh look, a hanged man! Let's all stand around it for years while we wait between visits from a friend
Hangman: Can't have anyone telling people what we did!
Qwerty: Wait! Tell us why you did it first so we know whether to agree with you or not!

A quick fight later...
Qwerty: The note on the body says "This is what happens to filthy adulterers" I wonder what they do with the clean ones? Oh well, let's go down the hole
Anders: Can we push the dwarf?
Qwerty: Fine, go ahead
Anders: Aww no fair, there's an invisible wall around it!
Nate: Then how did that idiot manage to fall into it? Did he just fall down the stairs?
Qwerty: There's a note from a treasure hunter here. It says he found a hole
Anders: Did he fall into it too? Maybe the darkspawn usually pile leaves over it to hide it as a trap?
Oghren: Or those damned deepstalkers! Never trust those foreskin-faced freaks
Anders: Well there's a mental image to bleach out with beer later
Oghren: Hey that's a secret recipe! Who told you we put bleach in our beers?
Anders: Oh look, deepstalkers. Can we let them eat the dwarf?



Nate: Sorry, I automatically started attacking them. You'll have to change the AI settings
Qwerty: You guys have artificial intelligence? I thought it was real stupidity...
A quick bit of combat later...
Anders: I found a deer foot!
Qwerty: My psychic powers tell me that it's a lucky deer foot belonging to Micah, the guy who pushed Colbert down the hole
Anders: Can't have been lucky for the deer...
Nate: It belongs to Micah? Did anyone else not notice that he was a deer?

The party come across a group of darkspawn dragging a struggling dwarf. Of course, they fight. Of course, they win



Sigrun: What. The. Hell. TOOK YOU SO DAMN LONG? I've been waiting here for you, being dragged around in circles by these darkspawn for FOUR MONTHS!
Qwerty: The writer had computer problems, a new girlfriend...
Sigrun: I could have died! If I wasn't already dead I mean
Qwerty: Wait, you're an undead?
Anders: Kill it! Kill it with fire!
Sigrun: No, I'm a member of the Legion Of The Dead, we're a bunch of silly dwarves who pretend to be dead. Anyway, I'd better go back in there and die



Qwerty: Wait, what?
Sigrun: It's a dwarf thing, you wouldn't understand
Oghren: I'm a dwarf and I don't understand. But then, I don't understand most things...
Sigrun: We were investigating Kal'Hirol and we got killed. Oops. So now I need to continue the mission alone
Qwerty: We're Grey Wardens, we'll fight the darkspawn
Sigrun: Wow, that's awfully convenient. I guess I'll tag along
Qwerty: Good. Oghren, go home, Sigrun here is replacing you
Oghren: What? But I want to seduce the hottie!
Sigrun: I'm wearing a helmet that hides my face and full body armour that hides my figure
Oghren: You're female, so you're hot
Anders: He's not even fussy about the female part
Oghren: Hey, I was drunk!
Anders: You're always drunk
Oghren: Oh yeah...
Sigrun: Also my face is covered in hideous tattoos, see? Hey wait, what happened to my tattoos?
Qwerty: I love the construction kit. Shall we just sneak off together for a few minutes my lovely redhead?
Oghren: Alright, but promise not to tell anyone!
Qwerty: Not you! Her!
Sigrun: Sorry, construction kit doesn't work that well in Awakening
Qwerty: Well hell. Anyway let's sort your talent points... and put this on





Sigrun: Um... I'm not so sure about this. But I apparently have no choice but to let you dress me... what kind of game is this?
Qwerty: Well, let's head inside and kill some darkspawn... and hope the sequel has more variety to it...
Anders sniggers

Part 42

Modifié par rayvioletta, 11 mars 2013 - 06:33 .

[rayvioletta]

busy week but I'll try to get the next part up next week

[Remois]

Yay always a pleasure to read you ♥

[luke1608]

You are a wonderful, wonderful man...

[Marvin_Arnold]

I just spent the last two days' free time reading through this whole story... good thing I was at home, for I kept literally LOLing most of the time... I already thought that you'd reached the peak of funny at episode 12 – how little did I know, it just kept getting better and better...

(however I miss the DA2 style in Awakening... what we seriously need is DA2 in DA:O style - but for real!)

This is too good to be true! I love you, man! (in a platonic, competely non-heterosexual way, of course... wait, what did I write there? I mean...)

Keep going! Please!

[rayvioletta]

more hopefully this weekend

[Arken]

Good to hear. This thread is one of the few good things that came out of Dragon Age II. I also love that you made jabs at Origins and Awakening as well. None of the plots have been perfect and the parody is more accurate than anything I could put in words.

EDIT: Sigrun romance...

Sadly Gaider has said he despises dwarven women because he thinks dwarven women are fourteen year old girls. See? This is what happens when he drink a gallon of booze and play video games. You say silly things.

I get the feeling Gaider was behind the absence of dwarven females in Dragon Age II. It's all part of his evil intoxicated plan.

Modifié par Arken, 08 décembre 2011 - 07:56 .

[rayvioletta]

due to various things I haven't had much time to devote to this parody. I do still fully intend to finish it, but I'm faced with the choice of either doing a rush-job and half-arsing it or taking the time to do it properly and write something I can actually be proud of

granted, if I do rush it I could always try to fix it with DLC after

[Marvin_Arnold]

rayvioletta wrote...

granted, if I do rush it I could always try to fix it with DLC after

THAT's the spirit!

[Faerloch]

I have just started reading this. My, my, AWESOME! On part 13. Please, please, please don't give me any rivalry points for this dialogue choice. Maybe I'll throw in some free DLC k?

[batlin]

I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite thread on the Citadel.

[Jerrybnsn]

If Qwerty Cousland isn't in DA3 I'll be disappointed.

5 months since the last update? I hope everything is all right.

[rayvioletta]

kind of overwhelmed lately and I want to make sure that when I pick this up again I can devote enough time and attention to it. I'm still making notes of ideas and funny lines, so the project isn't dead, just sleeping

[Marvin_Arnold]

Good to know you're still around...

Modifié par Marvin_Arnold, 27 juillet 2012 - 07:33 .

[Chipaway111]

Just wanted to mention this had me in tears, I only stumbled across it yesterday but by the Maker, is it good :')

[Lemina Ausa]

rayvioletta wrote...

Qwerty: Death it is then!
Sten: Not cake?
Howe: I'd rather have cake
Loghain: Me too
Sten: And me
What: And me
Qwerty: We're going to run out of cake at this rate...

Is this an eddie izzard "dress to kill" reference?

Great work on the parodies!

[SafetyShattered]

I'm so happy your still around lol. I was gonna cry cuz I thought this thread was dead for sure. Take your time man. I'm sure it'll be worth it.

[rayvioletta]

A small hint of what's to come, I'm a bit out of the loop on DA2 modding now so if anyone found a way to make a DA2 character who looks anything like Qwerty then please let me know. After Awakening I'm considering having player Hawke be the one who dies in the intro and Qwerty show up in Kirkwall to help Bethany and Carver with much hilarity

Lemina Ausa wrote...
Is this an eddie izzard "dress to kill" reference?

it is indeed

[rayvioletta]

ok current estimate is that I should be able to get back to work within the next month, if all goes well. I'd also love to get it immortalised onto a website format but I lack the time and knowhow to do it myself, so any voluntary help would be appreciated

still looking for a Qwertyish Hawke for DA2 as well

to tide you over in the meantime, here's a few snippets from my notes

Mother: The Lost is lost? It was bad enough that The Withered withered and died and that FellDownAHole fell down a hole... but now the Lost is lost?
Darkspawn: I’m changing my name to WonTheLottery

Bethany: This doesn’t look like Lothering!
Carver: Well everywhere in the Origins paraody looked like Lothering, I guess this time not even Lothering looks like Lothering

Anders: Well when I got the job offer for DA2 I suddenly and inexplicably became bisexual and so I started hitting on Justice. I told him I wanted him inside of me and suddenly I’m an abomination! Talk about embarrassing misunderstandings!

Merrill and Sandal are swinging from the chandelier when Isabela enters
Merrill: Me and Sandal are swingers! Wait, why are you laughing like that?

[rayvioletta]

more apologies, I've been meaning to pick the project back up but have really struggled to have the right combination of time and energy while battling depression, financial struggles, computer problems and a giant frog monster that rides a unicorn and steals cheese

however there is an increasing possibility of Something Big happening which would necessitate my getting stuck in and writing more. currently I'm trying to restore my Origins addons following hard drive problems, hopefully I'll be able to either recover or replace the files so that I can continue screenshots without breaking continuity too badly... but if that's not possible then I'll have to take it as a challenge to create a story reason to explain the change