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[Dutchess]

I hope you'll be able to continue after all. This is pure awesome!

[rayvioletta]

could there be a more appropriate day for part 42?

Part 42

Qwerty, Nate, Anders and Sigrun are sitting outside the entrance to Kal'Hirol
Qwerty: So damn bored... is this what characters have to do during the time skips?
Sigrun: So why have we been waiting here for over a year?
Anders: Somebody's been slacking off from writing us
Nate: We could pass the time telling stories
Qwerty: Please not another story about how screwed up your family is
Sigrun: Hey I know a good story. How about the day I joined the Legion of the Dead?
Anders: I think you already spoiled the ending

Dust Town, Orzammar. Beraht is giving a long speech
Beraht: ...and so to sum it up, I own your ass and so I'll pimp it out to nobles to get you pregnant... not your actual ass because you can't get pregnant that way, so that your kid can get me elevated to nobility
Rica: You're sleeping your way to the top by proxy, got it
Beraht: Pretty much. As for you, Sigrun, I got a job for you and Leske
Sigrun: Just as long as it doesn't involve getting knocked up by nobles
Beraht: With that hideous facial tattoo? I only pimp the pretty girls
Jack: You have a problem with tattooed women?
Beraht: Get back in your own game

Anders: You're making that up
Sigrun: Fine, fine, forgive me for trying to make the boring talking part more interesting. I guess it didn't have a massive effect on what happened so I'll skip to the interesting part

Oskias: Please don't hurt me! I'll do anything!

Anders: Who's Oskias and why is he begging?
Sigrun: Oh so you did want to hear the explainy bits? Oskias is a smuggler who works for Beraht but he'd been holding some profits back for himself. Beraht, being a stereotypical gang leader, wasn't happy and wanted us to put a hurting on him. So we showed up and he started bawling his eyes out as soon as he saw us. We took his profits, split them between us, sent him to the surface and told Beraht that he'd already run off with them. Then he gave us our next job, to make sure the fighter he'd bet on won the Provings, which were being held in honour of Prince Duran Aeducan becoming Commander...

Everd: Thirty one bottlesh of beer on the wall, thirty one bottlesh of beer...
Sigrun: You're drunk! You're supposed to be fighting against Mainar in a few minutes!
Everd: Nonsensh, I'm not drunk! I'm jusht playing a drinking game ish all.
Leske: What, every time you take a drink you have to take another drink?
Everd: Damn right! Clashic drinking game!
Leske: We could poison Mainar dead and Everd still couldn't beat him in this state! Beraht is going to have our heads!
Sigrun: Not if I can help it, Beraht only gets head from one of the Brosca siblings and it's not me! Help me get into this armour, I'll take his place and win the Provings

Qwerty: So you entered the Provings, won and became a hero of such fame and renown that the Legion of the Dead sought you out and signed you up?
Sigrun: Something like that, except that instead of being a hero I was declared a criminal for blasphemy against rich ****s and the Carta wanted us dead for screwing up Beraht's wager
Nate: Harsh. Reminds me of the time my dad cut the heads off my Grey Warden Action Figure and said no son of his would play with dolls
Sigrun: We managed to escape the Carta and fled into the Deep Roads, where I met up with the exiled Prince Duran Aeducan and we fought through darkspawn together until we met up with the Legion of the Dead
Qwerty: If it makes you feel any better, I killed the rest of the Carta and your sister made babies with the new king
Sigrun: It does, a little. So does anyone else have an interesting Origin story?
Nate: I had a pet rabbit once, but my dad said that...
Sigrun: Anyone else?
Anders: Well there's the time I escaped the Circle of Magi...

Greagoir: Your magic is a gift, but it's also a curse. Sadly paladins can't dispell curses, so we lock mages up in a tower instead
Irving: Now you must enter the dream world of Tel'aran'rhiod... sorry, I mean the Fade, to face a demon. You'll either come back fine, or Greg here will chop your head off
Anders: So you're so worried that mages might turn into abominations that you're going to try to turn me into an abomination?
Greg: Yes. Are you ready?
Anders: No, not really
Irving: Novices are given three chances at this. You may refuse twice to enter the Fade, but at the third refusal, you have your head lopped off. Do you refuse?
Anders: Yes, I'm rather attached to my head. I'll use my first refusal please

Jowan: Anders! Come quickly into the chapel!
Anders: Are we getting married?
Jowan: I want you to meet someone. This is Lilly
Lilly: Hello
Anders: Wait, are you trying to convert me?
Jowan: She's my girlfriend
Anders: Oh right! You want a threesome?
Jowan: No! We need your help! They're going to make me tranquil! We want your help to steal my phylactery...
Anders: You're a lich?
Jowan: No! It's the jar of my blood that Templars would use to track me down if I left the tower
Anders: Doesn't that sound an awful lot like blood magic?
Jowan: Yes it does, the hypocritical bastards! They want to turn me tranquill for dabbling in blood magic... I didn't though, it's just a baseless rumour honest! But the use blood magic to track us
Lilly: I'm sure that Jowan isn't really a blood mage. That time when he cast all those amazing spells he just happened to have a nose bleed. He wouldn't lie about that. I'm sure
Anders: Well I'll help. I want to escape too and what's the worst that could happen? It's not like you're going to put demons in kids or poison important political figures or anything is it?

Anders: Well it turned out he actually did do all of that, and he wouldn't even sleep with me! Neither would Lilly. Or Cullen... or Nate
Jukka (shouting): Could you hurry it up out there? I've been on the brink of death for over a year waiting for you!

to be continued...

Modifié par rayvioletta, 11 mars 2013 - 06:37 .

[Dio Demon]

 *Looks around* Yes I'm the first one to respond to the return of Dragon Strange. I loved the long awaited part 42, so here is a cookie, but be careful someone may not like you having this cookie. 

[rayvioletta]

next part should be up in a few days, pictures for 42 and 43 may take a little longer

remember to tell your friends that Qwerty's back I don't think this part of the forums gets as much traffic as it used to...

[Remois]

I'm glad I still visit once in a while, welcome back

[LucidlyInsane]

Good to see the return of Qwerty - used to lurk on this thread, and it's always been great fun.

[Cirram55]

Please, do continue, I enjoyed every line of each part!

[Vesorias]

Glad to have you back, and I particularly like the Tel'aran'rhoid part. Keep up the good work, and please don't take a year on the next episode.

[rayvioletta]

internet's been down which has delayed things, but the good news is that it's back up so I'll have a new part up soon hopefully

[rayvioletta]

had some more computer problems to deal with, hopefully I'll have another part up within the next few days, otherwise some other kind of treat

[Remois]

Good to see you back ^^

[rayvioletta]

as promised, a treat to tide people over in the meantime
this is a story I wrote a few years ago, with the similar kind of twisted humour you'd probably expect from me

Anitta & The Gates of Fles.
A tale of Witchcraft & Demons & stuff.

It wasn’t a dark and stormy night. It was in fact quite crap. It wasn’t at all dramatic. The moon wasn’t even showing; hidden by some clouds. Honestly, the weather just didn’t know how to respond to these things anymore. This was no night to be afraid of. People weren’t barricading themselves in their cellars. Well, except for Mr Miller who still had flashbacks from the war. More importantly thought, he didn’t want his wife to disturb his boozing.
‘It shall have to do,’ said Anitta, ‘But this is still a full moon regardless of the bloody clouds!’ she pointed at the sky accusingly. A tremendous roll of thunder completely failed to deliver reply. ‘Sod you then,’ she muttered under her breath.
‘Eye of newt,’ she said, dropping a scrabble tile into a small pot. She’d had to spell it “niwt”, ‘lucky rabbits foot,’ a small lump of chocolate, which until it melted, had been the last remains of a chocolate easter bunny, ‘testicle of toad,’ she wasn’t sure what a testicle was so she just threw in the whole toad. It stared sadly at her from the bottom of the pot. Then it ate the chocolate.
‘I summon the Great Wish Granting Demoness,’ she said. Nothing happened. ‘Get your ass here or I’ll pour acid on the toad,’ she said.
‘Poor toad,’ said a voice behind her, ‘it’s done you no harm.’
‘Are you Titania the Great Wish Granting…’
‘No, I’m a shrubbery,’ said Titania, ‘of course I’m Titania, you summoned me.’
‘I want a wish,’ said Anitta.
‘You summon the Great Wish Granter and you want a wish?’ sighed Titania, ‘how novel.’
‘I want to be like you,’ said Anitta.
‘Lost and cold on a lonely hill top?’ asked Titania, ‘Easy. Granted. There you go. Note the lack of change?’
‘That’s not what I meant,’ said Anitta.
‘Well what do you want?’
‘Look at me!’ commanded Anitta,’ What do you think I want?’

Anitta was twenty six years old and she was lonely. She’d had a few boyfriends as a young teen, but as she grew older she became less and less popular. All the other girls seemed to have bigger breasts or blonder hair or bluer eyes or didn’t smell of brimstone. She was sure they’d done it just to spite her.
‘I want to be beautiful.’ she said.
‘I see,’ said Titania, ‘you have read the contract I presume?’
‘Contract?’
‘You must perform a task to earn your wish,’ said Titania, ‘it’s just a simple quest really.’
‘Fine,’ said Anitta, ‘it’ll be worth it.’
‘Very well,’ said Titania, ‘then I want you to journey through the Gates of Fles and do battle with the demons lurking within. You must rescue the prince who is trapped within.’
‘You want me to fight?’ asked Anitta, ‘I’m no warrior, I’m barely a witch!’
‘There are ways and methods,’ said Titania, ‘which may help you.’ And she promptly vanished, leaving behind a large, plain book.

The Gates stood on the edge of the small village, just behind the blacksmith’s hut. Nobody had dared enter them in recent years, and in the past those who entered had never returned. There were tales of demons hiding in the caves beyond, but they never ventured outside the gates.
‘You shouldn’t go in there miss,’ said the blacksmith, finding Anitta behind his hut, ‘there’s bad things in there.’
‘There’s bad things everywhere,’ muttered Anitta and without thinking added; ‘and what do you care? You drowned your own daughter.’
The blacksmith was visibly shocked. Then his eyes became more focussed, his expression changed, and his voice took on a menacing tone.
‘Where did you hear that?’ he asked, ‘Who told you that lie?’
‘She did,’ said Anitta unable to stop herself in time. ‘You drowned her when she was a baby because you wanted your firstborn to be a boy! Her spirit told me.’
‘You get off my land now little girl,’ he said, fists curled, ‘You get off before I do harm to you that I’d regret.’
Anitta knew better then to go into the caves unarmed, she knew better then to go in at all. But with the blacksmith blocking her departure, mad rage in his eyes, she ran through the Gates of Fles.

‘Hello,’ said a voice, faintly familiar.
‘Hello?’ said Anitta, trying to see through the darkness.
‘I’m over here now,’ said the voice, from a different direction.
‘Who are you?’ asked Anitta.
‘I’m a little girl trying to be a woman,’ said the voice, ‘my body hasn’t grown up so I play with magics so I can be like all those ****s I envy so.’
And then there was light. And Anitta looked into her own eyes.

The voice was familiar from a spell she had done months before. The spell had recorded sound, and played back her own voice. It hadn’t sounded like it did in her head, but it sounded like the voice that her double now used.
‘I don’t want to be a ****,’ said Anitta.
‘Then why do you want to be like the girls who you think of as ****s?’ asked her other self. ‘Admit it, at least to yourself, that you are starving for the attention of boys.’
‘I’m not!’ she protested, ‘I just want to be normal.’
‘Has it ever occurred to you,’ said her double, ‘that they are the ones who are not normal?’
‘There’s more of them,’ said Anitta.
‘No,’ said the other, ‘there are just those who, like you, try to be like them. Balled up socks stuffed down the front of the dress, strange dyes in their hair, you name it somebody’s tried it.’
‘You’re saying they’re all fake?’ said Anitta.
‘Not all,’ smiled her double, ‘but many. All for the same reason. They want to be found attractive, but not for who they are, for who they are like.’
‘No that’s not it,’ argued Anitta.
‘It is, and you know it,’ the other said. ‘You think of them as nothing but ****s and ****s, and yet you want to be just like them.’
‘I just want to be liked,’ said Anitta.
‘You just want to get laid!’ laughed her double.
‘You’re an evil ****, and you’re not me!’ cried Anitta, charging at her double. The double laughed, and disappeared.
‘I’m just you Anitta,’ said the other from behind her, ‘just you.’ And then she was gone completely.

The blacksmith sat by the Gates, torn between what to do. In all probability the girl would never return from those accursed caves, but what if she did? She’d tell people about his daughter, and then he’d hang. He couldn’t afford to take that chance, he just couldn’t. He went inside his hut, took his best sword, and followed Anitta through the gate.

‘Hello,’ an unfamiliar voice spoke through the darkness.
‘Where did the girl go?’ he asked of it.
‘You want to kill her?’ asked the voice, ‘You like killing girls don’t you?’
‘Who are you?’ demanded the blacksmith. Light appeared, and he faced Ragnarr, blacksmith of Aine. He faced himself.

Anitta continued through the caves. She saw no signs of demons, no sign of anyone since her double. She clutched Titania’s book protectively to her chest. She’d already tried reading it; the words were a language she couldn’t begin to understand. She assumed that the demon must have given her the book for some purpose though.

Ragnarr drew his sword. His double did likewise.
‘Perhaps you’d prefer me to wear a dress,’ said the double, ‘so you could enjoy trying to kill me. I doubt I could pass for a girl though so I shall not try.’
‘I don’t like killing!’ cried the blacksmith, swinging his sword with hypocrisy.
‘The feeling of power,’ said the double, catching blade with blade, ‘the power over life and death. It makes you feel like a god.’
Ragnarr growled and again their swords met with a clash of steel.

The dark passage continued, and after time she began to hear noise. Faint footsteps danced in the air around her. They sounded so near and yet so far away. She fancied for a second that she could hear voices.
‘Is someone there?’ she said.
‘Is someone there?’ said the echo.
‘Hello?’ she said.
‘Hello,’ Said the echo, ‘what do you want?’
Anitta stood perfectly still. She replayed the conversation in her head.
‘Who are you?’ she said.
‘Who are you?’ said the echo. ‘Oh, sorry. Force of habit. I’m the echo.’
‘You,’ said Anitta, with great patience, ‘are an echo?’
‘Not an’ said the echo, ‘the’
‘So you’re the echo,’ said Anitta, unimpressed, ‘well I’m Anitta. The witch.’
‘And I’m Lashoconshidense,’ said a demon, crawling from the shadows, ‘and I’m a bad ass demon.’
‘And I’m Jaloshy,’ said another demon, ‘a badder asser demon.’
‘Their grammar isn’t too good,’ said the echo, ‘but they’re good fighters. You’d better start kicking their ‘bad’ asses.’

Ragnarr staggered down the dark tunnel. He’d fought himself and survived. Admittedly he’d ran away, but he was still alive. Fighting your double had serious disadvantages, as the only time you landed a blow on them, they did the exact same to you. Nobody could call him a coward though. No one would ever know that he ran away. Just as they’d never know that he killed his daughter.

Anitta backed into a corner, the demons advanced. In panic she opened the book at a random page, but the words still meant nothing to her. Jaloshy was dangerously close now. She hit him, hard over the head, with the thick, heavy book. Jaloshy collapsed to the floor.
‘Lucky shot,’ said Lashoconshidense, knocking the book from her hand. ‘Won’t get me like that.’
It suddenly occurred to Anitta, for reasons she couldn’t understand, that she should chant the ritual to summon Titania, but that she should chant it backwards.
‘Oh bloody hell,’ said Lashoconshidense, as he turned into a giant chocolate rabbit, ‘what have you done? My wife’s gonna have a fit!’
And before Anitta had chance to reply, the book turned into a giant toad and ate the chocolate rabbit.
‘Well that was easy,’ said Anitta. ‘Strange, but easy.’

Ragnarr emerged in a large, dark cavern. He held his sword for comfort, he wasn’t sure he dared use it after the last time.
‘She’s already gone,’ said the echo, ‘but your demons will be with you shortly. In the meantime you may enjoy this.’
The echo began to hum a tune. Ragnarr paced around the cavern, looking for an exit.
‘Well perhaps you wouldn’t,’ said the echo, ‘but you’ll probably enjoy it more then these two.’
Two fierce demons marched through a wall.
‘I’m Sikophicurches,’ said the first demon.
‘Urches, yeah,’ said the second.
‘He’s Ferngult,’ said Sikophicurches, indicating the second demon.
‘Gult, yeah,’ grinned Ferngult.
‘We’re bad ass demons,’ said Sikophicurches. ‘Wanna fight, or do you wanna run?’
‘Run, yeah,’ laughed Ferngult mockingly.
Ragnarr gritted his teeth and drew his sword.

Anitta strode through the darkness, feeling much better about herself then she had in a long time. She soon reached what appeared to be the demons camp. A large cage sat by a small fire, a human figure lying inside.
‘Are you a prince?’ asked Anitta.
‘I’m Prince Paul,’ he said, getting to his feet, ‘who are you?’
‘I’m Anitta, a witch,’ she said, ‘I’m here to rescue you.’
‘Aren’t boys supposed to rescue Princesses from witches?’ asked the prince.
‘I’m a modernist,’ said Anitta, ‘but if you’d rather rescue me, then I’ll just wait over here to be kidnapped shall I? You can find your own way out of your cage I’m sure. I’m not a Princess though, but I could borrow your crown.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘please. Let me out.’
‘Is there a key somewhere?’ she asked, fiddling with the lock.
‘One of the demons had it,’ said the prince.
‘The small one or the fat one?’
‘Neither,’ said the prince, ‘the really big one with four arms.’
‘Oh,’ said Anitta. ‘That one.’
‘You haven’t killed him have you?’ asked the prince.
‘Not as such,’ said Anitta, ‘and I’d rather not have to if it’s all the same with you.’
She took the padlock in her hands, muttered a spell, and then let go of it quickly. The prince examined it curiously but drew back when it tried to bite him.
‘What did you do to it?’ he asked.
‘Just watch,’ she said. And he did.

Ragnarr sat in the cavern, head in his hands. The two dead demons lay next to him. He no longer felt the need to catch Anitta and kill her. He no longer felt the fear of what would happen if he was found out. All he felt was shame.
He let out a sigh and got to his feet. He walked determinedly back the way he had come.
‘Has he gone yet?’ asked Ferngult.
‘Yep,’ said the echo, ‘buggered off back the way he came.’
‘Oh good,’ said Sikophicurches, ‘another round of poker then?’
‘Alright,’ said the echo. ‘But this time no cheating, it’s ruins the fun when we all have five aces.’

‘Well what about me?’ said the padlock, ‘I have to put up with you all day!’
‘And what,’ said the bolt slowly, ‘is wrong with me?’
Paul sat in the corner of the cage, almost asleep. Anitta sat outside, waiting impatiently. The padlock and the bolt continued to argue.
‘Well that just about takes the biscuit!’ said the padlock, ‘and after what your mother said at our sisters funeral too!’
‘Well it was true!’ said the bolt defensively, ‘she sold herself she did! She was a lock on a chastity belt!’
‘Lies!’ said the padlock, ‘it was just a normal belt. The queen just happened to wear it a little strange is all.’
‘How long is this going to take?’ asked the prince.
‘I’m not sure,’ said Anitta.
‘What exactly is going to happen?’ he asked.
‘I’ve had enough!’ said the padlock, unlocking itself, ‘I’m leaving you!’ and with that it dropped to the floor and bounced away.
‘Fine!’ shouted the bolt after it, ‘Run away! It’s what you’re good at!’ and then it began to cry. Which is very hard to do when you’re a piece of recently animated metal.

‘Aren’t witches supposed to be all old and ugly?’ said Paul.
‘Aren’t Princes supposed to be polite?’ said Anitta.
‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘I just meant that you’re not. Old or ugly I mean.’ He blushed. ‘You’re quite nice actually. Beautiful in fact.’
‘Quiet,’ she said.
‘I was just saying,’ he said.
‘Don’t,’ she said. ‘Now listen.’
He listened. He heard the heavy footfalls of the giant demon.
‘Why can’t you magic him away?’ asked the Prince
‘I have a quota,’ she said, ‘I can only use so much magic each day without Consequences.’
‘Consequences?’ he asked. ‘And how did you pronounce the capital letter?’
‘We don’t like to talk about it,’ she said.
‘You could always…’ he began.
‘Yes I could always,’ she said, ‘but I’ll never.’
‘Who cares about a quota when your life’s at risk?’ he said.
‘I care,’ she said. ‘If I use any more magic today then it’ll kill me.’
‘So what do we do?’ he asked.
‘Can you run?’
‘Yes, but that won’t help.’
‘Why not?’ she asked, ‘can it teleport or something?’
‘No,’ said Prince Paul, ‘but there’s only one way out. And the demon is coming from there.’

The demon was three times the height of a normal man. He had four arms, thick as tree trunks. His face was decorated with scars, but they gave the impression that they were just for show, not that this monster had been wounded.
‘If he says “fee fi fo fum”,’ said Anitta, ‘then I shall scream.’
‘I don’t think he’s much of a talker,’ said Paul, as the giant loomed over him. It grinned a wide grin.
‘He likes you,’ said Anitta.
‘I don’t think I need a friend who wants me on the menu,’ he said.
‘Relax,’ she said as the giant demon picked him up, ‘I’ll think of something.’
But she couldn’t. As the demon raised Paul over it’s head, as Paul let out a scream of terror, as the beast opened it’s mouth wide, she could think of only one thing.
‘Oh sod,’ she said, ‘who wants to live forever anyway?’ and she cast a spell.

The demon gave a startled shriek as it was suddenly crushed by the weight of the boy it had lifted over its head. Paul got to his feet, and shook himself. He examined the tiny, squashed demon with much curiosity.
‘It’s only temporary,’ said Anitta.
‘So you mean soon he’ll be back to normal?’ he asked, panicked.
‘No,’ she said, ‘soon he’ll be a giant, but still squashed flat. And still dead.’
‘What about your quota?’ he asked.
Anitta lowered her head sadly.

‘Never mind that,’ said Titania, appearing before them, ‘you completed the quest.’
‘So what?’ said Anitta, ‘it was all for nothing. I don’t even want my wish anymore.’
‘Exactly,’ smiled Titania, ‘I didn’t give you what you wanted, just what you needed. I sent you on a quest to face your inner demons and you have.’
‘You mean all that…’
‘Was both the quest and the reward,’ said Titania. ‘And you can forget your quota, I’ve wavered it.’
‘You can do that?’ asked Anitta.
‘Of course,’ laughed Titania, ‘I am a witch myself after all.’
‘Hello mum,’ said a demon, appearing beside them.
‘Oh, hello Largo,’ said Titania, ‘I believe you’ve met Anitta?’
‘Pleasure,’ said Largo, formerly known as Lashoconshidense and Sikophicurches.
‘Mum?’ said Anitta, raising an eyebrow.
‘I’m also a demon,’ reminded Titania.
‘Demon, yeah,’ said the other demon as he materialised.
‘And this is Randolph,’ introduced Titania, indicating the demon formerly known as Jaloshy and Ferngult.
‘Randolph, yeah,’ said Randolph.
‘Stop that,’ reprimanded Largo.
‘Sorry,’ said Randolph. ‘You know how it is when you get in character.’
‘Character?’ said Anitta.
‘He was your jealousy,’ said Titania, ‘and he was the fear and guilt of the blacksmith who followed you. He plays many roles, depending on the questor.’
‘I was your lack of confidence,’ said Largo with a bow, ‘and I was the psychotic urges of that Ragnarr bloke.’
‘So all along it was just an act?’ sighed Anitta, ‘to make me realises that I’m a good person and beautiful inside and all that?’
‘You’re beautiful outside,’ said Paul.
‘And who are you really?’ said Anitta.
‘Oh he’s real,’ said Titania, ‘he was on a quest to meet the woman of his dreams. I must say you don’t look much like her, but it appears his dreams have changed.’
‘Isn’t this rather long winded for a final explanation scene?’ asked the echo.
‘Seems so,’ said Titania, ‘well shall we just say that they lived happily ever after then? It’s quicker that way.’
‘It’s a bit cliché,’ said Largo.
‘We don’t mind,’ said Anitta quickly, ‘we’ll just be off then, to live happily ever after.’
‘Yes,’ said Paul, as she grabbed his arm, ‘well, goodbye then.’
‘The end,’ said Largo.
‘End, yeah.’

[rayvioletta]

next part of Dragon Strange should hopefully be soon, if I can't get the game working again I'll just have to watch a let's-play or read a walkthrough to remind myself of all the details. in the meantime...

Anitta & The Witch Trials.
Another tale of Witchcraft & Demons & stuff.

This time it was a dark and stormy night. This was of much frustration to the locals, as they were trying to burn a witch. It’s rather difficult to burn a witch when the rain keeps putting out the fire.
‘Honestly I’m not a witch,’ said the accused. ‘I really don’t see why you think I am.’
‘We’re trying to burn you,’ said the man trying to light the fire, ‘and suddenly it starts to rain. Admit it, you used magic.’
‘I’m not a witch,’ she repeated. ‘The rain is just a coincidence. And besides, you thought I was a witch before then. Or did you just want to roast me like a marshmallow?’
‘Shut her up,’ ordered a man who was obviously the leader.
‘We have ways of making them talk,’ said fire-lighter. ‘Sadly we don’t have ways of shutting them up again afterwards.’
‘Just gag her or something,’ said the leader.
‘I’m innocent!’ protested the girl, ‘I demand to see my lawyer.’
‘Not possible I’m afraid,’ said the leader. ‘We’re burning all the lawyers in the next field.’

Anitta was sitting at the window, watching the rain. Paul sat by the fire, asleep in the rocking chair. Anitta’s grandmother sat on the floor in the corner, rather annoyed at the loss of her chair.
‘Looks like they’re burning something in the next village,’ said Anitta.
‘Wish they’d burn him,’ muttered her grandmother.
‘And I wish I’d never brought you back from the dead,’ said Anitta. ‘I honestly don’t know why I did. You were enough of a pain when you were alive.’
‘At least I got my chair when I was alive!’ said the old corpse. ‘Besides, your own fault for dabbling in necromancy.’
‘It’s all a part of the craft,’ said Anitta. ‘Titania says it’s a very important skill.’
‘Bloody demons,’ cursed the corpse. ‘In my day the demons would show a bit of respect!’
‘No Gran,’ said Anitta. ‘In your day the demons would shove red hot pokers up your bum. I checked in the books.’
‘Well at least they did it in a respectful way,’ said Edna, her Gran. ‘Very courteous too, they were. Always made breakfast the next morning, and they always called back.’
‘Couldn’t you just go back to your grave?’ asked Anitta. ‘Not only are you annoying, but you’re starting to smell.’
‘Oh that really takes the cake that does,’ said Edna. ‘You bring me back into this rotting body and you complain when it smells! Well what did you expect?’
‘I expected you to tell me where Grandfather’s money was hidden,’ said Anitta, ‘I remember that now.’
‘Oh, that,’ said the old woman, with a guilty look. ‘I spent it. Well he was going senile and he buried it behind the house. I wanted to buy some more charcoal so I could summon the demons.’
‘You don’t need charcoal for a summonation,’ said Anitta.
‘No,’ said Edna, a wicked glint in her eyes. ‘But you need it to get the poker hot.’

Carreau smiled, his face illuminated eerily by the burning accused. The Witch Finder Army were all in awe of him; he was the best Witch Finder, and he was impervious to their magics.
‘Another one for the stake, sir,’ reported a young Witch Finder. ‘Suspected were-wolf.’
‘Not bloody suspected,’ said the wolf. ‘I’m a werewolf but I ain’t a witch.’
‘But you are undead,’ said Carreau. ‘Witches are our speciality, but not our exclusive prey.’
‘I’m not undead,’ protested the wolf. ‘I never died.’
‘Shut it, you,’ said the young Finder. ‘This here is Carreau, Chief Witch Finder.’
‘Quite,’ said Carreau. ‘Where did you get that cloak, private?’
‘Found it sir,’ said the Finder. ‘Wolf had it. Belonged to her granddaughter, before she ate her.’
‘I was hungry,’ said the wolf. ‘All she brought me was a basket of cakes. I wanted some meat.’
‘And so you ate…’
‘Little Red Riding Hood,’ supplied the Finder.
‘Your granddaughter,’ said Carreau. ‘Private, see that the girls family get sent the remains of this werewolf.’
‘Sir, yes sir,’ said the Finder with a salute.

The Witch Finders weren’t much of a bother to me. By rights I could’ve complained about them stealing my work. I’d never been fond of the witch cases though. At least with dragons the armour takes most of the damage. By the time it’s melted away and the dragon realises you’re still alive; it has a big (and red hot) sword stuck in its heart. With witches, you need a truckload of talismans just to counter the basic spells. Let them take the witches. Besides, I had a ‘special’ case to work on.

I puzzled over what was asked of me; it was a strange request. Naturally it was to be expected that he should come to me in need of a heroic deed, and naturally he would not be thought a fool for believing me capable of overcoming any odds. Nor would he be misguided to offer me such payment as he did; inheritance. He was a rich man and he was old. He had no heir, no family, no friends but the small pet dragon he’d raised from an egg.
‘It’s not the sort of case I usually get offered,’ I said after much thought, ‘but considering the payment, I shall take it.’
‘Very good,’ said the old man. ‘I’m very glad to hear it.’
‘I will, however, require some assurances,’ I said. ‘It would be unfortunate to find nothing left for me to inherit.’
‘I shall have my lawyer see you tonight,’ he said. Just what I needed, a visit from an evil, cold-hearted monster, and one I wasn’t even allowed to kill!

The meeting with the old mans lawyer passed with little event. I somehow restrained the urge to kill the beast, and he gave me assurance that should the inheritance fall short of the promised wealth, his firm would pay the difference. This was as good as a promise that the old man would not be allowed to spend my money, since lawyers are less willing to part with money then that sad kid you went to school with (every school has at least one of them) is to part with his Star Trek uniform. And don’t ask how I, a dragon hunter in another dimension, know about Star Trek. It’s the writers fault, not mine. Oh bugger, it’s written in first person! Damn it!
‘So you’ll be off to find the Princess then?’ said the lawyer, preparing to leave.
‘I’ll need to pick my new armour up from the blacksmiths tomorrow,’ I said. ‘My last suit got melted when I fought the Fearsome Three Headed Dragon Of Dunghill.’
‘Oh that was you?’ said the lawyer. ‘We had a client complain about that last week, but we didn’t know who to sue over it.’
‘That dragon killed over four thousand people,’ I said.
‘People?’ said the lawyer. ‘In Dunghill? I doubt that very much.’
‘Well, dung beetles,’ I conceded. ‘But they were able to talk, and more importantly give me money to kill the dragon.’
‘As I understand it, the dragon didn’t do any harm to any of them,’ said the lawyer.
‘Well not before it died,’ I said. ‘But when I killed it, its body landed on them all and crushed them.’

‘I just know I’m ready,’ protested Anitta, ‘I’ve been working on it for months!’
‘Are you sure you’re ready to move onto denecromancy?’ asked Titania. ‘Or are you just trying to put your grandmother back in her grave?’
‘You have to help me,’ begged the young witch, ‘she’s driving us crazy! She’s got demons round every night now. And there’s no way I’m ever touching that poker again!’
‘I’m afraid we have worse problems,’ said Titania.
‘Worse then a dead nymphomaniac?’ asked Anitta. Titania nodded.
‘Witch Finders,’ she said.

It had begun with the blacksmith. A sudden and dramatic change in his personality had caused much comment throughout the village. Ragnarr now hung up his hammers and had taken a job looking after children. He said he had been following a witch and had been led to the error of his ways.
‘Witches changed him,’ said villagers of him. And this talk soon spread to the ears of the Witch Finders. Carreau wasted little time in moving the small army towards their village.

‘We’re all going to burn some witches!’ yelled Private Nitt. ‘Kill all those interfering old ****es!’
‘Did I order a marching song?’ asked Carreau.
‘No sir, sorry sir,’ said the Private hurriedly.
‘We don’t want to go warning them do we?’
‘No sir, sorry sir. Won’t happen again sir.’
‘See that it doesn’t.’
‘Yes sir, very good sir. It is a pleasure to be corrected by you sir.’
‘Bloody brown-noser,’ said a small green frog.
‘Halt!’ yelled Private Nitt as a young woman crossed their path. ‘Are you a witch?’
‘Who me?’ asked the woman innocently. Her golden crown glinted in the sunlight. Nitt’s face flushed as he realised who he’d stopped.
‘Excuse him,’ said Carreau. ‘Can we help you Princess?’
‘I’m looking for my frog,’ she said. ‘I just found him by a pond but he ran away. Hopped anyway.’
‘Begone foul fiend!’ screamed the frog. The soldiers looked around for the source of the voice.
‘I am the voice of God!’ shouted the frog. ‘Kill this woman. She is a witch!’
‘Sir…?’ asked Nitt.
‘Witches are known to make themselves hidden to mortal eyes,’ said Carreau. ‘This voice is not that of a God, but that of a witch!’
‘No,’ said the Princess. ‘It’s my poor dear pet frog.’
‘Oh ****!’ said the poor dear pet in question.

I collected my new suit of armour from the blacksmiths. He’d lined the insides with a flameproof material; apparently he didn’t want my custom any more often then could be helped.
‘I’m getting too much work building up,’ he said. ‘Ever since that poncy Smith in the next village took up teaching children instead, I’ve been doing the jobs for their village too.’
I agreed that it was disgusting how people let these things happen, and I paid for my new suit. I doubted I’d need the fire insurance for this case, but it would certainly come in useful on others.

Only an hour later I reflected on this misjudgement. I was now without armour, and the only reason I wasn’t wearing pink fireproof pyjamas was because I’d brought a change of clothes. Saving those people from the burning house hadn’t seemed like such a risk in my fireproof armour. But of course, a fireproof coating on the inside doesn’t do any good when it’s the outside that melts.
‘Bloody Witch Finders,’ I cursed. They should take more care of their fires, not march off to the next village while a witch is still burning and let the fire spread.

‘Bloody Witch Finders,’ cursed the young woman I met down the road. She was dressed entirely in black, and she wore a large pointy hat. She was also joined by a young man, dressed all in expensive clothes and wearing a small golden crown.
‘Greetings witch,’ I said, ‘and greetings Prince.’
‘She’s not a witch,’ said the prince quickly. ‘She’s a… a…’
‘I am a witch,’ said she. ‘I’m not going to be all ashamed of it!’
‘But the Witch Finders,’ protested the prince.
‘I’ll turn them into toads,’ she said.
‘Last time you tried that you turned the milkman into a giant toe.’
‘So I did the last syllable wrong,’ she said. ‘Besides, I turned him back.’
‘I’m not going to turn you over to the Witch Finders,’ I said, choosing not to wait for their argument to finish.
‘Oh,’ said the witch. She seemed a little disappointed. ‘Not even if I was plotting to kill the Princess Elial?’
‘I go to kill her myself,’ I said. ‘I have been hired to kill her and rescue the dragon she holds prisoner in her tower.’
‘Um,’ said the prince, ‘I think you may have got that wrong.’
‘No mistake,’ I assured him. ‘It’s a little strange, but I like a challenge.’
‘Well we may as well go with you then,’ said the witch. ‘My name’s Anitta by the way. This is Prince Paul.’
‘It’s a pleasure,’ I said. ‘And I welcome the company. To be honest I’ve no idea where the Princess’s tower is.’
‘I know the way,’ said Anitta.

‘Old woman,’ said Carreau, ‘where is the witch?’
‘She buggered off with her boyfriend,’ said the old zombie. ‘Don’t know where and I don’t care.’
‘I think you’re lying,’ said Carreau, strolling into the house. ‘I think you know where they are. And you are, of course, guilty of sheltering a witch.’
‘I ain’t been sheltering nobody!’ she protested. ‘This is her house, not mine. Used to be mine before I died.’
‘She’s a zombie!’ cried Nitt.
‘Zombie’s still feel pain,’ said Carreau. ‘I’ll find out everything she knows soon enough. Hand me that poker.’
Anitta’s grandmother smiled. She really had no idea where Anitta had gone, but now she was glad of it.

‘I think it’s disgusting,’ I said, and I wasn’t referring to the running joke about the poker, though I should have been. I was, in fact, referring to the language of a strange man walking our road. He screamed curses and profanity into the air as he walked, caring nothing of who heard him. I was rather curious about the crown he wore though. It wasn’t at all like Paul’s crown; Paul’s was just a plain gold circle with spikes, whereas this rude stranger had a crown bespeckled with jewels of all kinds. And it was real gold, not some cheap metal with a gold coating.
‘Why do you use such language?’ asked Prince Paul. ‘And in the presence of a lady?’
‘Just because I’m a woman I can’t hear people swear?’ asked Anitta sweetly. Her expression reminded me of the medusa I’d slain last week.
‘I’ said the profane prince, ‘am Prince Charming.’
‘I find that very hard to believe,’ said Anitta. ‘You’re about as charming as a red hot poker…’
‘Oh not that joke again,’ I said.
‘…in the eye,’ finished Anitta. I breathed a sigh of relief.
‘I never wanted to be Prince Charming,’ he said. ‘I’m hoping that if I’m charmless enough then I’ll stop.’
‘So where are you prince of?’ asked Paul. ‘We don’t have any royalty round here, and I’m the only prince of the neighbouring kingdom.’
‘I don’t know,’ said the despairing prince. ‘I was born in a pond. I was happy there.’
‘You were born,’ said Anitta, ‘in a pond?’
‘I’d been happy before she came along,’ he said. ‘Content anyway. I’m not sure if I was even aware of anything enough to be happy. It was a peaceful life though. Quiet. It was a perfect existence. But then some girl with really weird ideas comes along and kisses me. Ruined my whole life. Cursed me to this existence of despair, helplessness and all these sickening feelings. One minute I was a perfectly content frog, with a great life, and the next I’m some big, two-legged person filled with all these thoughts and emotions that a frog is just not used to dealing with.’
‘This strange girl,’ I said, ‘did she happen to wear a crown?’
‘Yes!’ said the former frog, turning his own crown over in his hands.
‘Our old friend Princess Elial,’ I said. ‘She’s certainly been busy.’
‘I’m trying to find her,’ said the frog prince. ‘I have a theory, at least I think it’s a theory, I’ve not been human long enough to get to know all these words, that if I kill her then I’ll be a frog again.’
‘Well somebody’s popular,’ said Anitta. ‘We’re all off to kill the Princess.’
‘I have to rescue a dragon from her,’ I explained.
‘Isn’t that rather odd?’ asked Mr Frog. ‘I’m no expert but I thought it was supposed to be rescuing princesses from dragons?’
‘And isn’t the frog supposed to marry the princess when she kisses him and turns him into Prince Charming?’ asked Anitta.
‘Point taken,’ he conceded.
‘Does it matter who kills her?’ asked Paul. ‘If we all just go together and one of us kills her, we all get what we want.’
‘So long as I get that dragon back to its owner,’ I said.
‘So long as I become a frog again,’ said Prince Charming, tossing his crown into the bushes.
‘So long as I get her bloody Witch Finders off my back,’ said Anitta.

‘Mirror mirror on the wall,’ said the Princess, ‘who’s the fairest of them all?’
‘Certainly not you ma’am,’ said the mirror. ‘You’re a dirty, underhanded cheat!’
‘And don’t you forget it,’ she said. ‘Now, have you located the demons?’
‘Yes ma’am,’ said the mirror. ‘I have despatched some of the Witch Finders to bring them to you.’
‘Excellent,’ she said. ‘Now go away and let my reflection come back. I want to check my makeup.’

Private Nitt was not having fun. So far his time in the Witch Finder Army had been spent setting fire to women, chasing a werewolf, being chased by said werewolf, and he didn’t even want to think about the last half hour with that perverted old ****. If he never saw a poker again then maybe he’d die happy. And now he was being sent into some dark caves, with only a couple of nervous soldiers, to find a couple of demons.
‘Um, hello?’ he called. ‘Any demons around here?’
‘They’re on strike,’ said the echo. ‘It’s these new fangled psychiatrists. They’re taking away the demons jobs. You try spending all your life living in a dark cave so people can kill you all the time and see how you like it when some head doctor comes along and helps them kill their inner demons just by showing them bits of ink from when their pen broke and waving their watch in their eyes.’
‘Look,’ said Nitt, ‘I have been sent to fetch the demons Randolph and Largo. If you do not tell me where they are then I shall…’
‘You’ll what?’ asked the echo. ‘I’m an echo. A disembodied voice.’
‘Where are they please?’ said Nitt.
‘They’re over in the next cave,’ said the echo. ‘They’re trying to teach each other to play chess.’

Princess Elial’s tower was a rather unique building. Like most towers, it was tall. Like many towers, it had a pointed top. Like most buildings it was made of bricks. Unlike most buildings, it didn’t have a door. Or windows. Or any obvious entrance at all.
‘So how do we get in?’ asked Paul, after an exhausting run around the tower, testing all the walls for secret doors.
‘Couldn’t you magic us in?’ I asked Anitta.
‘I can’t do teleporting yet,’ said the young witch. ‘I might be able to do some levitation, but I’d only be able to get one of us up. And I don’t see any windows up there anyway.’
‘There has to be some way in,’ said the ex-frog. ‘She wouldn’t just have a tower built around her so she was trapped inside.’
‘Maybe we could dig under it?’ I suggested.

And so it was that when the Witch Finder Army came, we were hidden in a partially dug hole. Unfortunately there appeared no way in from below, all we found was more brickwork. The tower, it seemed, went deep down into the earth as well as high into the sky.
‘Permission to sing a marching song, sir?’ shouted a young Witch Finder.
‘Oh if you must,’ said Carreau with a sigh.
‘We’re here to deliver some demons,’ cried Private Nitt, ‘and in exchange we ask for lemons…’
‘We do no such thing,’ said Carreau. ‘We ask for gold.’
‘Gold doesn’t rhyme with demon,’ said Nitt.
‘Nor do bloody lemons,’
‘They’re spelt the same.’
‘Private Nitt?’ said Carreau.
‘Yes, sir?’ asked Private Nitt.
‘Remind me, at the next burning, to declare you a witch,’
‘Yes sir,’ said an unhappy Private Nitt.
‘Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair!’ Carreau shouted. A brief moment of noise followed, and all the Witch Finders were gone.
‘They’ve got the demons!’ cried Anitta. ‘We have to rescue them!’
‘You want to rescue demons?’ I was shocked. Appalled. And all those other words the thesaurus says.
‘They’re my friends,’ she said. ‘Not all demons are evil.’
‘Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair!’ cried Prince Paul.
‘I don’t think that’ll work for us,’ I said.
‘It better ‘effin work,’ muttered Prince Charmless. ‘Not bloody standing in the arseing cold all damn da….aaargh!’
‘Sorry I didn’t hear that last bit,’ I said. ‘I think it was the giant rabbit landing on your head that did it.’

So there we stood, at the top of the tower. Rapunzel, the hare, wandered into his cage and started chewing some lettuce.
‘Ok, so now what?’ asked Paul.
‘We descend,’ Anitta pointed to the stairs.
‘You don’t think there’s anything, I dunno, odd about this place?’ he asked.
‘The giant effin’ rabbit or the bloody skeletons or the sodding mystic runes?’ I said. No, I’m kidding, it was Prince Charmless of course. I’d never lower myself to saying “effin” instead of swearing.
‘The décor doesn’t seem very princessely, that’s true,’ I said. ‘But we are dealing with an evil princess remember.’
‘There’s no blood on me!’ protested the skeleton.
‘You can talk?’
‘No mate,’ said the skeleton, ‘You’re just, wassaname, hallucinating it.’
‘Where’s Princess Elial?’ I asked.
‘I’m a skeleton, not a tour guide!’
‘She’s downstairs,’ said Anitta. ‘We’re on the top floor. The only way out is down. It’s pretty damned obvious.’
‘So down we go,’ I said, leading the way. A long way. All the way. All the way down.

‘So, I think there’s some stairs missing,’ said a voice far above.
‘You don’t bloody say,’ I muttered, struggling to my feet.
‘Can you see a ladder or anything?’ Anitta yelled.
‘Can’t see a bloody thing,’ I said. ‘Hang on, I’ll light a match.’
‘Don’t bother,’ said a voice. ‘Private Nitt, give the man a light.’
Suddenly the world was full of red hot pain.

‘That looks pretty painful,’ said Paul.
‘What, being set on fire?’ asked the skeleton. ‘Oh it’s a world of fun, take it from me.’
‘You were burnt alive?’ he asked.
‘Was burnt dead too,’ he almost sounded proud. ‘Kept burning afterwards.’
‘Who reanimated you?’ asked Anitta.’ And why?’
‘Princess Elial,’ he said. ‘She said something about wanting to jump my bones.’
‘Oh god, that mental vision may haunt me forever,’ I said.
‘You’re not here,’ said Anitta. ‘You’re downstairs being burnt alive, so kindly shut up please.’

‘Did you enjoy that?’ asked a mocking voice. A female voice.
‘Princess?’ I managed to ask, barely strong enough to stand.
‘Queen actually.’ She stepped into view. A beauty unlike any I’d ever seen. Her face was… hang on… those eyes…
‘It’s rude to stare,’ she said.
‘I always wondered why,’ I said.
‘Can we set him on fire again?’ asked Nitt.
‘Perhaps later,’ she smiled. ‘Our friend here is not a witch. Though he does travel with one.’
‘Where is she?’ demanded Carreau. ‘Where’s the witch?’
‘Look up,’ said Anitta. He did so, and she stomped on his face.
‘Impressive entrance,’ said Elial, as Anitta and the others levitated above us.
‘Why hasn’t anyone made any jokes about dropping in?’ asked Nitt.
‘Nobody else is that effin’ stupid, you daft pillock.’
‘Enough!’ cried Elial, her eyes glowing bright red. ‘It IS you, witch! I recognise your smell.’
‘I wash every day!’ Anitta sounded hurt. ‘Well, most days. Some days anyway.’
‘You have taken something from me,’ scowled the Princess. ‘Something very precious.’
‘I’ve stolen nothing from anyone!’ protested Anitta.
‘You have taken…’ coughed Carreau as he… crawled up the wall…
‘Um… Carreau, you seem to be…’ stammered Nitt, ‘kind of… slimy.’
‘Silence!’ Carreau’s face contorted hideously as he screamed. ‘Enough! My love, let me kill them all!’
‘Always eager to kill,’ Elial patted the demonic witch hunter lovingly. ‘Perhaps later.’
‘You’re demons!’ I cried. ‘You’re both demons!’
‘We are Legion,’ said Elial. ‘And we are many.’
‘Wasn’t he in an episode of Red Dwarf?’ I asked.
‘Oh for fecks sake!’ screamed the ex-toad. ‘We’re in a medieval world of dungeons and sodding dragons you stupid wanker! We don’t have sci-fi!’
‘Oh,’ I said, somewhat taken aback. ‘Sorry.’
‘Now, little witch,’ she turned to Anitta again. ‘Return to me my beloved pet.’
‘Pet?’ Anitta appeared confused. But then I remembered something.
‘Speaking of pets,’ I said. ‘I believe you have kidnapped a dragon whelp?’
‘I wasn’t kidnapped,’ sang a dragon as it flew past my head. ‘I ran away from that old man. Did you know he used me to light his farts?’
‘Bloody turned me into a damned human,’ muttered the Charmless Prince.
‘You did what?’ demanded Carreau.
‘Oh you know me, darling,’ Elial blushed. ‘I just have an uncontrollable frog fetish.’
‘Turn him back right now!’ Carreau ordered.
‘Yes dear,’ she sighed. The Prince gave a cheer for joy that became a croak.
‘So, all’s well that ends well?’ asked Paul hopefully.
‘Pet!’ screamed Elial.
‘What pet?’ asked Paul.
‘My pet crone!’ she cried. ‘My little poker buddy. She was taken away, pulled back into the mortal world.’
‘You mean my grandmother?’ laughed Anitta.
‘YES!’
‘Poker buddy?’ asked Paul. ‘You mean with cards right? Please?’
‘The dead old lady?’ asked Carreau. ‘That’s who this is all about? You should have said, we tortured her earlier.’
‘You tortured my pet?’
‘She enjoyed it!’
‘And you got upset about me just kissing a frog!’
‘****!’
‘Cheat!’
‘****!’
‘Excuse me, please?’ interrupted Paul. ‘If we let you take her grandmother back, can we go?’
‘Oh alright,’ said Elial. ‘Just send her back quickly, I miss her.’
‘Will do!’ said Anitta. ‘So this is over now, right? The end?’
‘End, yeah.’
‘Oh yeah, I forgot about you two,’ she said.
‘They can go with you,’ said Carreau. ‘We just invited them over for a game of cards.’
‘So this IS the end?’ asked Paul.

THE END
Until… Anitta & The…
‘Oh no,’ said Anitta. ‘No no no! No more. I’m done, I quit!’

[rayvioletta]

I have some exciting news!
not only will the next part of Dragon Strange be up soon, I'm also keeping notes for some other projects to work on after it's complete (assuming it's finished before DA3 comes out and I have to write a parody for that) including the adventures of Girlbrush Threepwood and Greenish Empire. there's also a plot twist in Dragon Strange I'm really looking forward to unveiling but that won't be until after the Deep Roads section

I do think though that it's about time I had a website. there's a few snags though, namely that my previous attempts at websites have been rather awful and a hell of a lot of hassle. so if anyone happens to have any webby skills and could cook up some kind of easy to update site that would support the format used for Dragon Strange with the ability to have other stories, insanity and ramblings as well it would be very much appreciated and you can create a character to make a cameo in Dragon Strange. or have an imaginary cookie. or BOTH!

[joerginger]

Unfortunately I can't help you with anything website-related, but for ages I've been meaning to tell you that I appreciate very much what you have done in this thread. Honestly, only a short time after I had begun playing Dragon Age 2, I became seriously pissed off about this game. I don't think it's necessary to go into detail here, all of what I would be able to say has already been written by many people in this forum and apparently at least part of that message has got through to the "powers that be", so hopefully Inquisition will turn out to be an infinitely better game than DA 2.
Anyway, what I meant to say is this: Thank you very much for providing entertainment at exactly the moment when it was needed most at least by me! I love your writing style a lot, even before you mentioned him explicitly, I noticed the influence of a different DA in your text. It's sort of in the "DNA" of your writing, I guess. ;-)

Btw, I recently saw your avatar over at the nexus forums. Was that you or just someone who loves nicely-done pink hair?

[rayvioletta]

it was probably me, my name there is SiNNeR as that account dates back to Morrowind when I was much younger and thought capital letters mid-word were cool

and thanks for the praise, the feedback from the forums has been a huge help in writing what turned out to be a very long parody, it's always good to know that somebody is enjoying the work and looking forward to more

[rayvioletta]

unfortunately there's going to be another delay. for the last year one of my best friends has been in a coma and he passed away at the weekend, consequently I'm not feeling up to writing jokes at the moment
really sorry for all the delays, but I'd rather do it right than force it

[Remois]

I can understand that. Take your time to grieve. It's never easy. I hope it came out well as I'm not used to say that kind of thing in english.

[rayvioletta]

it's been a tough time, I lost two friends recently, one who'd been in a coma for a year which was difficult enough and then another friend was murdered in Belgium less than a week later. despite everything I'm still determined to see this project through and have ideas that are just bursting to escape my mind and infect everyone elses. it may be slow going but I aim to have at least a small update within the next week

there's also been an exciting development regarding another angle of the project, hopefully more news on that soon

[Jerrybnsn]

Love your work. They say laughter is the best medicine for a reason. But take you time, all the same.

[rayvioletta]

finally got Origins/Awakening working again and it seems my backups have been successfully restored so it appears that once I re-familiarise myself with the controls we'll be good to go!
adding screenshots to part 42 may be tricky though, as it'll mean having player characters who look like the companions from Awakenings. adding them as companions in Origins somehow might work as well, that way I could control the companion and hide the player character out of shot (as seen in the city elf origin) if anyone has a mod or a save of the following that would be a great help
Dwarven Commoner as Sigrun (with hideous tattoo)
Human Mage as Anders
Dalish Elf - Merrill (preferably similar to her DA2 look but her Origins look would be fine. either way there'll be inconsistencies in appearance to thoroughly mock)

Modifié par rayvioletta, 25 août 2013 - 11:03 .

[Apolyon6k]

rayvioletta wrote...

I do think though that it's about time I had a website. there's a few snags though, namely that my previous attempts at websites have been rather awful and a hell of a lot of hassle. so if anyone happens to have any webby skills and could cook up some kind of easy to update site that would support the format used for Dragon Strange with the ability to have other stories, insanity and ramblings as well it would be very much appreciated and you can create a character to make a cameo in Dragon Strange. or have an imaginary cookie. or BOTH!

Why not open a blog at any blog service like blogger or wordpress?
The format would be similar to the forum style you use right now with the ability to comment individual parts seperately. I use blogger for my game design related ramblings. Posting there is quite easy and you could design the pages any way you like with little to none html or css skills.

rayvioletta wrote...

adventures of Girlbrush Threepwood and Greenish Empire

Now, you've got me interested even more... (huge monkey island fan and combined with your humor +++)

Modifié par Apolyon6k, 25 août 2013 - 12:43 .

[rayvioletta]

the blog does seem like the best bet, I'm looking into possible hosts at the moment. I think I may need a new image host as well since some of the links are dead again, so hopefully I can find a host with enough space and bandwidth for the images as well as the blog

[leeobaker]

When you're ready, that would be great

[rayvioletta]

at work on the next part. here's a little preview of things to come