662 réponses à ce sujet

[The Spirit of Dance]

lmao. nice

[Fhaileas]

B.R.I.L.L.I.A.N.T!

I wish you didn't make Alistair out to be such a poopy-head though - I wuv him.

[Boiny Bunny]

Hahahahaha....I love the Dog Rivalry + 10!

[DragonRageGT]

The only thing that really scares me after the huge success of this thread, well deserved I must say, it EA re-launching Origins revamped into DA2 style... "Origins EE" (ex-rpg edition) ... forced downloadable patch when you connect with your DA:O copy! I don't think they can get the joke or appreciate the irony in this!

[MelfinaofOutlawStar]

Tagging this to read tomorrow.

[BViking]

Pure genius!!!

[rayvioletta]

Fhaileas wrote...

B.R.I.L.L.I.A.N.T!

I wish you didn't make Alistair out to be such a poopy-head though - I wuv him.

Alistair has been Anderised

anyway, there will be more later

[Knightly_BW]

Take your time Ray. I love your take so much, kinda become addicted.

[JediHawke]

Are there will be any griffons

[Johnny20]

amusingly one soldier appears to be climbing out of the bartenders ear

This line got me.

[rayvioletta]

Part 9
Warden: Wait, what happened to 8?
Alistair: DLC?
Sten: No.
Alistair: Timeskip?
Morrigan disapproves
Alistair: Bad joke?
Warden: Probably

Part 8



Warden: So this Jowan guy ran away from this tower all the way to... a town on the same lake? Wouldn't it have been smarter to, oh I don't know, go to Kirkwall or something?
Alistair: Kirkwall? That's like the Templar capital of Thedas! You'd have to be the worlds stupidest apostate to go there!
Warden: I guess so.
Bandit: ATTACK
Warden: Hey this one dropped a sword. Sten is this yours?
Sten: Ask me at camp.
Warden: My journal says this is your sword and that you really badly want it back because it's like your soul or something.
Sten: Camp.
Warden: Right. I can see you're really in a hurry to get it back. Maybe you'd like the Butterfly Sword instead?
Sten: Fine. I will pretend we're in camp.
Warden: Here's your sword.
Sten: This is my sword. But you did not pick the correct dialogue option so I shall hate you for no apparent reason.
Sten rivalry +10
Warden: Bugger.
Carroll: I hope you're not looking to get across to the tower because I've strict orders not to let anybody across.
Warden: This treaty says you have to let us cross
Carroll: Oh yeah? Well I got a bit of paper that says I'm the Queen of Antiva. What do you say to that?
Warden: Well you do have a girls name.
Carroll: You say you're a Grey Warden? So what?
Warden: I've had enough of your snide repudiations!
Shepard Punch
Warden: Alistair, you can row.
Alistair: Row row row your boat, gently to the tower. Singing singing singing a song that'll make you kill me within the hour.

Warden, Morrigan, Leliana, Alistair and Dog arrive at the tower having swapped Sten at the weird mailbox-with-a-horn-on-it-thing.



Knight Commander Gregoir: Who are you? What are you doing here? What is your favourite colour?
Warden: Well that would be subtle if it wasn't for the last one. We're Grey Wardens here to remind your mages of this treaty that was signed thousands of years ago by people long dead in the hopes that you'll help us despite the fact that the treaty is probably not legally compelling and was in fact written by Alistair during the boat ride since he dropped the real one over the side.
Gregoir: We cannot help you.
Warden: Is it because it's written in crayon?
Gregoir: No it's because all of our mages turned into abomi... abominibina... monsters. But if you kill them all then the Templars will help you instead.
Warden: Because you clearly proved to be so competent at this assignment.
Gregoir: Just get in there and kill stuff, if we chat too long we'll get ambushed and I've no confidence in my mens ability to defend me while I hide behind something.
Morrigan: These are the brave and fearless Templars we apostates hide from?
Gregoir: We are indeed and while we may not seem a threat to you, rest assured that if you were an apostate we would know and you would be afraid!
Morrigan: Of course, my mistake. It's a good job I'm not an apostate then isn't it?
Gregoir: Well of course. But if you were then we'd know. Somehow. I'm sure we would.



Warden: Have you ever actually found an apostate?
Templar: Well, no. But that must just mean we're doing so well at our jobs that there aren't any. Right?
Warden: And these guys trained you Alistair? Suddenly it all makes sense.
Alistair: Hey look at this! Come inside, it looks just like the Tower of Ishal!

Part 9

Modifié par rayvioletta, 06 mai 2011 - 03:46 .

[LeBurns]

This thread is a gem.

[DraCZeQQ]

OK ... await lawsuit if I die from laughing! And its very very probable ... omg this is the best thing I have read about DA ever!  Especially:

rayvioletta wrote...
part 8

Warden: So this Jowan guy ran away from this tower all the way to... a town on the same lake? Wouldn't it have been smarter to, oh I don't know, go to Kirkwall or something?
Alistair: Kirkwall? That's like the Templar capital of Thedas! You'd have to be the worlds stupidest apostate to go there!
Warden: I guess so.
Bandit: ATTACK
Warden: Hey this one dropped a sword. Sten is this yours?
Sten: Ask me at camp.
Warden: My journal says this is your sword and that you really badly want it back because it's like your soul or something.
Sten: Camp.
Warden: Right. I can see you're really in a hurry to get it back. Maybe you'd like the Butterfly Sword instead?
Sten: Fine. I will pretend we're in camp.
Warden: Here's your sword.
Sten: This is my sword. But you did not pick the correct dialogue option so I shall hate you for no apparent reason.
Sten rivalry +10
Warden: Bugger.
...

Gregoir: No it's because all of our mages turned into abomi... abominibina... monsters. But if you kill them all then the Templars will help you instead.
Warden: Because you clearly proved to be so competent at this assignment.
Gregoir: Just get in there and kill stuff, if we chat too long we'll get ambushed and I've no confidence in my mens ability to defend me while I hide behind something.
Morrigan: These are the brave and fearless Templars we apostates hide from?
Gregoir: We are indeed and while we may not seem a threat to you, rest assured that if you were an apostate we would know and you would be afraid!
Morrigan: Of course, my mistake. It's a good job I'm not an apostate then isn't it?
Gregoir: Well of course. But if you were then we'd know. Somehow. I'm sure we would.
Warden: Have you ever actually found an apostate?
Templar: Well, no. But that must just mean we're doing so well at our jobs that there aren't any. Right?
Warden: And these guys trained you Alistair? Suddenly it all makes sense.
Alistair: Hey look at this! Come inside, it looks just like the Tower of Ishal!

to be continued...

Modifié par DraCZeQQ, 06 avril 2011 - 03:32 .

[jadefishes]

This is hysterical. A little sad for some of its accuracy, but still hilarious.

[ayelagin]

Brilliant! The best story and the best thread of the decade! I'm eagerly waiting for the epic elves vs. werewolves part.

[Chewin]

rayvioletta wrote...

Alistair: Row row row your boat, gently to the tower. singing singing singing a song that'll make you kill me within the hour.

This somehow got stuck in my head...

[Redhot_1]

^Hah, me too

[Tirigon]

rayvioletta wrote...

part 5

Warden & party enter the Redcliffe Inn
Warden: The sign even says "Lother Inn" which was a bad pun in Lothering and is just ridiculous recycling here.
Alistair: Recycling is good, BioWare are preserving the environment... Is that why they're called "Bio" Ware?
Warden: Shut up
Alistair rivalry +10
Bella: Another doomed soul come to drown their sorrows I see? What can I get you?
Warden: Ten pints. It worked in Shadow of the Beast anyway.
Bella: That'll be 20 copper.
Warden: That's incredibly cheap. No wonder the blacksmith can afford to get so ratarsed.
Bella: Lloyd's not very good at math. Sadly it means my wages are really low as well.
Bella performs puppy dog eyes and adjusts her cleavage.
Warden: Well... ah... maybe we could help you out with that.
Morrigan rivalry +10
Leliana rivalry +10
Alistair friendship +5
Warden: Here's some gold, now do I get a kiss?
Morrigan rivalry +10
Leliana rivalry +10
Bella: For that much I'd kiss all of you!
Morrigan rivalry +10
Leliana friendship +10
Alistair friendship +10
Warden: Leliana?
Leliana: What can I say? She's hot.
Oghren friendship +50
Warden: You're not even here!
Bandit: ATTACK!
Warden: Oh not this again!

Loooooool so epic.

But you are making a small mistake, ray: Most of your companions should be locked at 100 rivalry already! DA2 style! Once you hit 100 = no more changes!

[Galad22]

Oh, I like it. Well done.

[Jonjontkd]

AWESOME! I LOL'D HARD!hahahahaa

[Alex Kershaw]

lmao

[iampool]

So good, keep it up.

[Redhot_1]

the best thing with this is that Alistair is ten times funnier here in this stories

[Lotion Soronarr]

Someone should make a Machinma out of this.....

[cr8gg]

Absolutely best topic ... love that