662 réponses à ce sujet

[L3zl13]

Bioware!

You should hire this guy and make him/her oversee the script for DA3. (If there ever will be one after this blunder.)

[Sabriana]

Oh ye gods, there it is. Thanks to the poster who bumped the thread. I was looking for it, and became quite panicked when I couldn't find it. Phew, what a relief.

[Bravesman18]

-----"Alistair: It's just that everyone who's ever known has treated me differently because of it and I wanted you to like me for who I am.
Warden: Are you hitting on me?
Alistair: Of course I am, everyone's bisexual.
Warden: Well stop it, I was planning to go for the redhead girl.
Morrigan rivalry +10
Alistair rivalry +10
Sten rivalry +10
Warden: Seriously?
Dog rivalry +10
Warden: Ok now that's just plain wrong."-------

lol this was one of my favorite parts

[senjeny]

Best post ever. Period.

[ItsToofy]

bump for awesome

[rayvioletta]

Part 10

Alistair: So I've been thinking
Doggigan: If I could write with paws I'd mark it on my calendar
Alistair pretends to throw a ball
Alistair: Fetch!
Doggigan runs after the imaginary ball
Alistair: Why is it called the Circle? The tower's more of a cylinder.
Wynne: It's because one of our philosophies is that we do not cut corners, by making deals with demons for example
Warden: But a circle has no corners, implying that somebody did cut them off
Wynne: Drat. I've been using that excuse for years, now I need to think up a new one.
Alistair: Maybe it's because they *round* up all the mages here?
Warden: Oh that was pretty bad
Alistair: Well if it's that bad maybe you should tri an angle instead? Get it, like a triangle?



Doggigan: At first I was annoyed by you manipulating the instincts of this form to get rid of me, but now I'm actually glad I missed those jokes.
Wynne: It's odd, we should have run into Owain, the tranquil by now.
Warden: Wasn't he a blacksmith in Redcliffe?
Wynne: No, no. Owain not Owen.
Alistair: The art department called him away. They decided that shaving tranquils heads wasn't enough, they should also have a big sun branded on their heads. So he's off having that burnt onto his skull
Wynne: Ah. I'm surprised really. I never pictured him as being hotheaded.
Alistair: Hey I gotta write that one down!
Doggigan: I could turn back into a human if you want to send one of them away
Warden: Tempting
Doggigan: I can even shapeshift my hair you know, if you really like redheads
Alistair: Ooh are they hotheaded too? You know, because their hair is red?
Leliana rivalry +10
Warden: He said it, not me!
Sloth: Oh hurry up will you! I'm a sloth demon and even I'm getting tired of waiting for you to get to the next bit
Alistair: You're Eamon? Mummy you look... different
Sloth: Demon not Eamon!
Warden: Hang on, I just noticed something. I don't trust Arl Eamon
Alistair: What? Because his name sounds like demon? That's insane!
Warden: EA-mon... mon could be short for money. EA Money. He's going to try to sell us some DLC, I just know it
Alistair: But you should buy the DLC!
Warden: And I'm going to start calling you EAlistair if you keep that up!
Wynne: Might I suggest not pushing that joke too much farther. You don't want to tempt fate and have this whole thread deleted
LelEAna: Is this a bad time to advertise Leliana's Song DLC then?
Wynnedows: Well if we're going to advertise, I hope you upgraded to Wynnedows 7
Warden: Ok stop it now.
Alistair: I think the demon fell asleep. Does this mean we can Skip The Fade?
Warden: Sorry, I forgot to install that mod
Sloth: You are feeling very sleepy...
Alistair: Rock a bye warden, on the tower top...

Duncan: Welcome to Weisshaupt. You defeated the Blight
Warden: I actually almost believe you, since this has gone on longer than DA2's gametime lasted anyway



Duncan: And this would be the perfect way to parody the timeskips
Warden: It would indeed, and the lack of a real ending. By the way, since you died so early we never got to mention your beard
Duncan: It's probably for the best, all those jokes have been done to death
Warden: I suppose. Anyway why am I here?
Duncan: Because you won. The world is at peace, the Blight is over and you shagged the redhead
Warden: I've never even heard of this place and wouldn't know how to pronounce or spell it. Why would you think this is what I'd want? Why aren't my family back from the dead? Why aren't I surrounded by naked women? Not at the same time as family of course, that'd be embarrassing
Duncan: Well frankly we were a little confused about what you wanted, after your little encounter with the elf
Warden: He said it was a massage!
Duncan: So anyway, if we bring in some naked women will you stay?
Warden: Of course
Duncan: Pity. I had hoped we could tempt you to stay
Warden: I said I'd stay
Duncan: But no, you have to go off and save the world
Warden: It can wait
Duncan: Well if you won't stay, you can die!
Warden: I said I'd... hey, stop hitting me!



Warden fights off Duncan and a few waves of demons and then a birdbath mysteriously appears
Warden: Can I have the naked ladies now?
Leliana rivalry +10
Warden: That came from the birdbath. I guess I should follow it

Warden somehow appears on a floating island next to another birdbath and a mage
Mage: Another prisoner fell into the trap? You'll never escape
Warden: Oh I will. I'm a big damn hero after all
Mage: How will you manage that?
Warden: First I'll explore
Mage: I never thought of that!
Warden: Oh look, a tiny hole. And a mouse
Mouse: You can be a mouse too!
Warden turns into a mouse. the Warden mouse then moves the cursor over the hole and tries clicking on it
Mouse: Very funny
Warden turns into an actual mouse and runs through the hole
Mouse: Hey, you better not steal my cheese! Even though I actually prefer fruit, since I'm not a cartoon
Warden: But you are a computer game character. Besides, there's a running cheese joke

Wardenmouse climbs out of a hole and turns back into a human.
Warden: Hello? Leliana? Alistair? Wynne? Witch B***h?
Doggigan rivalry +10
Warden: Ah, looks like the rivalry came from that direction.

Warden finds Morrigan and Flemeth
Flemeth: I am your mother!
Morrigan: Look, I'm confused! Do you want me to call your BS like I do in Origins or pretend to believe you like a gullible idiot in DA2?
Warden: Alternatively you could just come with me
Morrigan: Do I have to turn into a dog again?
Warden: Not yet, party isn't full
Morrigan: Ok then
Flemeth: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Warden stabs fake-flemeth
Morrigan: Oh that reminds me, new quest. kill the real one
Warden: I haven't even found the book yet
Morrigan: What? Haven't you been looting the chests? You bloody slacker... hey come back
Morrigan vanishes
Warden: Ok now to find Leliana. or somebody else to shag
Leliana rivalry +10
Warden: Ah, that way

Part 11

Modifié par rayvioletta, 07 mai 2011 - 02:31 .

[ItsToofy]

I don't know where you get your inspiration from but it just gets better all the time, bloody brilliant!

[Louis deGuerre]

rayvioletta wrote...

Warden: Hang on, I just noticed something. I don't trust Arl Eamon
Alistair: What? Because his name sounds like demon? That's insane!
Warden: EA-mon... mon could be short for money. EA Money. He's going to try to sell us some DLC, I just know it

:devil:

[Whisky]

I got a horrible feeling this thread could be locked

[DraCZeQQ]

rayvioletta wrote...

LelEAna: Is this a bad time to advertise Leliana's Song DLC then?

Warden: Hello? Leliana? Alistair? Wynne? Witch B****?
Doggigan rivalry +10
Warden: Ah, looks like the rivalry came from that direction.

Warden stabs fake-flemmeth
Morrigan: Oh that reminds me, new quest. kill the real one

Amazing 

[rayvioletta]

Whisky wrote...

I got a horrible feeling this thread could be locked

to be fair BioWare seem very good at accepting criticism and jokes. but I've got backups which can be posted elsewhere just in case

[Rockpopple]

A lot of effort into trolling. Couldn't you be writing bad fanfiction instead?

[Tirigon]

Sabriana wrote...

Oh ye gods, there it is. Thanks to the poster who bumped the thread. I was looking for it, and became quite panicked when I couldn't find it. Phew, what a relief.

Tip: Subscribe button on top of the page

[Tirigon]

Rockpopple wrote...

A lot of effort into trolling. Couldn't you be writing bad fanfiction instead?

Someone´s butt is hurting really, REALLY much, it seems:police:

[Rockpopple]

Oh? How do you figure?

[rayvioletta]

it's not trolling, and as I've said before I do actually like DA2. I certainly wouldn't spend so much time writing about something I didn't like. but I was disapointed by a lot of the games flaws and found it rather fun to make a somewhat affectionate parody, which you may have noticed also mocks Origins a bit too. and Mass Effect. and cartoons. and myself

but if you have any constructive criticisms, or parodies then I'm all ears

[Rockpopple]

Fair enough. To be honest I've read it all up to this point. Some of it was funny but to be honest a lot of it was just kinda.... well that's why I called it "bad fanfiction". Maybe it was harsh, but I used to write bad fanfiction myself, so I spoke from experience. It's nothing personal.

And if you're gonna do all this, you're not gonna let the opinions of one amateur literary reviewer get in your way. Get on with your bad self.

[Tirigon]

Rockpopple wrote...

Oh? How do you figure?

Was talking about mine, obviously, or why´d you think otherwise?

[oldmansavage]

Rockpopple wrote...

Fair enough. To be honest I've read it all up to this point. Some of it was funny but to be honest a lot of it was just kinda.... well that's why I called it "bad fanfiction". Maybe it was harsh, but I used to write bad fanfiction myself, so I spoke from experience. It's nothing personal.

And if you're gonna do all this, you're not gonna let the opinions of one amateur literary reviewer get in your way. Get on with your bad self.

Biodrone is not amused.

[RainyDayLover]

This...is....glorious.

Hats off to you sir/madam.

[Sabriana]

Tirigon wrote...

Sabriana wrote...

Oh ye gods, there it is. Thanks to the poster who bumped the thread. I was looking for it, and became quite panicked when I couldn't find it. Phew, what a relief.

Tip: Subscribe button on top of the page

Thanks, but I know. However, I guess the Subscribe function had a seizure on my machine, and went looking for the Search function. All my subscriptions vanished. It all added nicely to my panic.

I hope it doesn't get locked. Best thread in the forum, any forum, anywhere. I'm glad to hear you have back-ups. Aside from that, your DA 2 streamlined is absolutely fabulous. A sense of humour. It's a good thing to have. Everyone should try it sometime. I never do mind when favorite books, movies, etc., get ripped in such a comical and entertaining way. It's funny, and I love it when something makes me laugh.

I also don't break out in tears and tear my hair out when a comedian rips a public persona apart that I happen to like and agree with.

[Recon Member]

This last part was full of WYNNE WIN. Still can't get were you get your inspiration though

Modifié par Thekill_3, 08 avril 2011 - 07:06 .

[Whisky]

I bookmarked this thread onto my bookmark bar.
Now every time I push the button, something awesome happens.

[rayvioletta]

Thekill_3 wrote...

This last part was full of WYNNE WIN. Still can't get were you get your inspiration though

it helps to be insane
and if you get bored between parts there's equal doses of my crazy in my picture albums

[Nozybidaj]

Whisky wrote...

I bookmarked this thread onto my bookmark bar.
Now every time I push the button, something awesome happens.

Haha, nice one.  Great thread.